Self-Care | Live Happy

Do What You Love

I am a believer in maximizing life. I think we should be who we want to be and live the life we hope to live. I believe all of us have a responsibility to ourselves to find whatever strength, power, support, tools and ideas we can to be who we truly want to be. Perhaps one of the greatest forces that we have inside to propel ourselves into living our most meaningful life is the energy we call passion. Passion is the accelerator to our car; it is the warmth that helps a cake rise; it is the feeling that drives us to grow, change and persevere. A passion for life When you think of the term “passion,” several different things may come to mind. For most people, romantic passion may be the first image that pops into their brains. While romantic passion is wonderful and important, for the purposes of this piece, I am talking about the activities, people and experiences that give us a rush of energy and excitement and drives us to greater success and happiness. More than a feeling While passion is a feeling that motivates us, it is something that does not always come easily or work under any circumstance. Of course, we have all either had or heard of experiences where a passion literally appears out of nowhere and fits perfectly into the constructs of a person’s life. Maybe you tried out a new activity and knew instantly that you would love doing this and you were able to make it happen. Sadly, these types of experiences are rare and may only occur once in a lifetime. For most of us, it is challenging to find something that we love with so much passion and then be able to carve out enough time to spend focused on it. If you are able to find something you are passionate about, investing time into it typically relates to how easily you can work it into your daily schedule and other commitments. Whether you have yet to discover your passions or you already have a long list of them, it is always great to find more. Here are my five tips to help you find what you are passionate about: 1. Brainstorm and research If you’re not completely sure what you are passionate about, spend time exchanging ideas with people who are close to you and finding out more about the activities, people, places or things that interest you. Try them out, and if you love and enjoy them and they give you an adrenaline rush, then you’ve just found new passions. 2. Look into your past Perhaps when you were a child, teenager or even a young adult, there was something that you were passionate about. Maybe there was something you loved to collect, a place you loved going, or an activity that you loved doing. Bring those old experiences back into your current life. 3. Spend time around people who are passionate Passion is contagious. Being around happy, enthusiastic and driven people can ignite some extra passion inside of you. 4. Make a mood board Print out pictures or cut them out of a magazine. Put them on a board to help stimulate your creativity and to remind you about things that you love. Once you have some ideas, go out and do them. (You can do this exercise on a big board, or even on Pinterest!) 5. Make a bucket list If the word “passion” has you stuck, and there is nothing that you feel that strongly about, make a list of all of the things you want to do that you have never done. Get excited about planning to do those things so that you can cross them off of your list. If there is already something you love doing, do more of it. Do you love baking? Spending time with great friends? Reading books? Going for a hike? Do more of those things. Taking the time and energy to focus on doing more of what you love allows you to live a more passionate life. Stacy Kaiser is a successful Southern California-based licensed psychotherapist and author of How to Be a Grown Up. A top relationship expert and media personality, Stacy contributes frequently to Live Happy.

Well-Being

Head-to-Toe Wellness

As a new year begins, it’s common for people to look at ways to change certain things in their lives—improving health and fitness habits or losing weight. I am a firm believer in the idea that good health is the hub of everything else in our life. If you want to sleep better, be happier, be more successful in your career and improve your relationships in the New Year, good health is key.So instead of making a resolution, I’m suggesting that this year you join me in a commitment to good health, making it as much a part of your daily routine as brushing your teeth.Fitness for your body—and your mindAnd while we’re making changes, let’s start by looking at good health as more than eating right and exercising. When you’re creating a fitness program, let’s expand your view to include emotional wellness. Instead of focusing on changing your waistline, start with your head and work your way down.Committing to head-to-toe wellness is different from our conventional approach to wellbeing, but it also can change our lives in lasting and powerful ways.Make emotional wellness a habitOne of the biggest obstacles to practicing wellbeing is that most of us think of it as something that’s unpleasant. Many people don’t like to exercise, and while they might like the results it provides, until it becomes a habit or its physical and mental benefits are realized, it feels like a chore. That’s why I’m hoping that this year, you’ll remember to add emotional wellness as part of your new commitment to a healthier year. If your mind, spirit or emotional state is weak and vulnerable, it’s impossible to have a truly healthy body.Emotions in motionJoining an exercise class is a great starting point. While most people join an exercise class to lose weight, there’s a much stronger argument to be made for exercising, and that’s about what you’ll gain from it. It’s how it makes you feel, the way it lifts your mood, improves your level of happiness, fights depression and strengthens your relationships.You’ll find vital social connections by joining in an activity with others, and receive incredible emotional benefits from the physical activity. It’s something I’ve seen not only in my own life but also in the lives of my patients.Prescription for wellnessWhen a 54-year-old registered nurse I’ll call Kay came to see me, she had a laundry list of health complaints. Kay had been the primary caregiver for her mom, who had recently died, and she came to my office with several complaints, from weakness and nausea to neck and shoulder pain.I recognized her symptoms as reactive depression—certainly not unexpected, given what she had been through—and suggested that she take a SoulCycle spin class. When my nurse called to check up on her a few days later, Kay was a different woman.She had attended two classes in four days and felt better than she had in months. She was sleeping better and had more energy. There’s no pill I could have given her that would have been nearly as effective.Like sickness, wellness is contagiousOne of the great things about engaging your mind and spirit as well as your body—whether it’s through meditation, yoga, SoulCycle or something else—is that it dramatically improves your vitality, happiness and overall wellbeing. It can even inspire others in your circle, from co-workers to family members, to join you.You might be surprised at how romantic an evening run with your spouse can be, or how much more connected you feel as you explore a new activity together! And what better way to spend time with your children than by doing an activity that is improving their overall wellbeing? That’s a gift and a lesson that will last for the rest of their lives.Feeling fit inside and outPerhaps the most important thing to remember about pursuing fitness and wellbeing is to maintain realistic expectations. Exercise is about much more than what size you wear; every time you do something good for your body and for your mind, you’re improving your heart, your blood circulation and lowering your risk of disease. But you’re doing so much more because you’re also lifting your mood, empowering your spirit and boosting your mental clarity—and those are the things that can truly create lasting change in your life.Dr. Jennifer Ashton is a co-host on the Emmy Award-winning talk show The Doctors, a practicing board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist and senior medical contributor for ABC News’ Good Morning America and World News Tonight with David Muir. She is a wife, mother of two and a committed ftness enthusiast/triathlete. Learn more about Jennifer at jenniferashtonmd.com.

Self-Care

Book the Time

I love to read. It’s an essential part of my work; it’s an important part of my social life (I am in four book groups); and, most important, it’s my favorite thing to do—by a long shot.Whatever you find fun, reading or otherwise, the point is to make sure you find time to do it. Having fun is key to having a happy life, so don’t let it get pushed aside by other priorities.Here are some habits that I’ve adopted to help me get more good reading done—and have more fun.1. Quit readingI used to pride myself on finishing every book I started. No more. Life is short, and there are too many wonderful books to read.2. Read books you enjoyWhen I’m reading a book I love, I’m astonished by how much time I find to read.3. SkimEspecially when reading newspapers and magazines, I often get as much from skimming as I do by a leisurely reading.4. Don't fight your inclinationsI let myself read what I want because otherwise I end up reading much less.5. Always have something to readNever go anywhere empty-handed. I almost always read print books, but I travel with e-books, too, so I know I’ll never be caught without something to read.6. Maintain a big stackI find that I read much more when I have a pile waiting for me. Right now, I have to admit, my stack is so big that it’s a bit alarming.7. Choose your own booksBooks make wonderful gifts—both to receive and to give—but I try not to let myself feel pressured to read a book just because someone has given it to me. I always give a gift book a try, but I no longer feel compelled to keep reading if I don’t want to.8. Set aside time to read taxing booksEvery weekend, I spend time “study” reading, which covers books that I find fascinating but demanding and that I might put down and neglect to pick up again. Now that I set aside time for study reading, and I finish those books.If you haven’t already, start now to develop good strategies to find more time to read—or to do whatever it is you find fun.Gretchen Rubin is the bestselling author ofThe Happiness ProjectandHappier at Home. Her newest book, Better than Before, all about how we can develop positive habits, is scheduled for release in March, 2015. She is considered one of the most influential writers on happiness today, and has become an in-demand speaker and keynoter.You can read about Gretchen's adventures atGretchenRubin.com.

Well-Being

Do You Have These Hidden Symptoms of Depression?

We talk a lot about happiness and how to achieve it on this website and in the pages of our magazine. We strongly believe that the research-driven tools and tips that we offer can help anyone, whether you struggle with negative emotions or are already pretty darn happy. But even Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, asserts that these tools are meant mostly for those already at a baseline of mental wellness. There are times when remedies such as keeping a gratitude journal or taking a walk in the sunshine just won’t cut it. Major depression is a serious disease, and one that should be addressed by medical and psychological professionals. It’s important to recognize the signs that differentiate between the walking well and those who might need professional treatment. Sneaky symptoms Depression can be sneaky. It doesn’t always look like a Lifetime TV movie depiction of a woman too despondent to get out of bed. “Intense sadness is certainly part of it,” says Carol Landau, Ph.D., a clinical professor of psychiatry at Brown University, “but depression can also express itself in other feelings and behaviors.” This may help explain why only a third of people with severe depression seek treatment and only 20 percent of those with moderate depression get help, according to the Centers for Disease and Control and Prevention. They may have symptoms that they do not recognize as depression. Beyond the blues Even the “official” symptoms of depression, below, cover a wide spectrum: Feeling sad or empty. Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. Loss of appetite or overeating or weight loss or gain. Changes in sleep: trouble sleeping or sleeping too much. Feeling agitated (pacing, nail-biting, cheek-chewing) or lethargic. Fatigue or loss of energy. Feeling worthless or excessively guilty. Trouble concentrating or making decisions. Suicidal thoughts or intentions. Here are four more important symptoms that you might miss: 1. Anger “It’s not so much anger as irritability,” says Landau. “You’re impatient or overly critical of yourself or others. The co-worker everyone secretly calls the “B” word may actually be suffering from depression.” A person with irritable depression may lash out at loved ones or break down in tears over seemingly nothing. Such emotional outbursts are so common among depressed people — in one study of nearly 1,500 depressed people, 40 percent reported feeling angry more than half the time—that some experts argue that irritable depression should be a subcategory of major depressive disorder. 2. Rumination Rumination is defined as thinking and worrying excessively about a problem without doing anything about it. “When rumination is an aspect of depression, you may not feel all that sad but you may find yourself fixated on something that didn’t go well at work or a problem with a friend,” says Landau. “You believe that if you think about it long enough it will get better.” This tactic may sound reasonable, but a depressed person will take it to an extreme, often losing sleep (which is a classic symptom of depression). “A person who’s functioning well would say, ‘It’s 3 a.m. I’ll deal with this tomorrow,’” explains Landau. When rumination is a symptom of depression, it also can interfere with decision-making and relationships. 3. Change in habits Turning to food is one way a depressed person might try to feel better. But while overeating is on the classic checklist, other methods of “self-medication” are not. One is amping up alcohol or prescription pill consumption. “Anecdotally this is especially common among young mothers who feel isolated or don’t get much help from their partner. By 4 a.m., they may be reaching for a glass of wine,” says Landau. 4. Body aches and pains The same biological pathways and neurotransmitters that are affected by depression are also involved in pain. By some estimates, depressed people have three times the average risk of developing chronic pain. According to a study in the Journal of the American Medical Association, 75 percent of primary care patients with depression complained only about physical discomfort, often leading doctors to miss their depression. “Depression is often under-recognized and thus frequently undertreated,” the study authors wrote. “Providers frequently assess for physical causes of pain and treat medically instead of exploring the pain symptoms in a broader, biophysical context.” It’s controversial, but some experts believe that pain associated with depression may sometimes be a symptom of chronic inflammation—the same immune-response-gone-awry condition that’s been linked to heart attack, Alzheimer’s disease and stroke. In fact, adding anti-inflammatory medications to anti-depressants has helped some people with depression. Better safe than sorry If you see unusual changes in your habits, behavior or pain levels, you may want to see your doctor. “General internists and gynecologists are better trained at spotting mental illness than they used to,” says Landau. “Depression is treatable, but if it’s not treated, it will get worse.”

Self-Care

Moving Past Perfection

I used to think perfectionists were high maintenance and prissy. They needed their clothes and hair to be perfect at all times. As I become more aware of my own perfectionist tendencies, I admit I was wrong about that definition.Perfectionism is me—trying to be the perfect teacher and pouting over one negative student assessment amid dozens of good ones.My perfectionist tendencies keep my feet stuck in idealistic cement. In my quest to make situations just right, perfectionism bleeds into procrastination and control. I want to make it all perfect, and since I can’t control the outcome, it never will be and therefore I balk and do nothing.In her book Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown examines perfectionism as something that keeps us from achieving. If we are stuck in trying to reach perfection, we are also trapped in the fear of failure.I am trying in several ways to get myself out of perfectionist sludge. I find these actions are helping, even though they are sometimes hard to do.1. Focus on the good Looking back at the student evaluations, most of my students said wonderful things about their experience and my teaching skills. I’m so grateful. Unfortunately, I can’t please everyone all the time. By focusing on the good, I ease up on myself.2. Be nice to yourself Perfectionism has a lot to do with beating myself up. By practicing loving-kindness and remembering it isn’t going to be over-the-top wonderful all the time, I can be more compassionate when things don’t go the way I want. Most importantly, I can still be nice to myself when a situation goes colossally wrong.3. Just do somethingIf you don’t know what your new job should be, can’t decide where to live, or can’t pull the trigger on that art class you’ve been pining over, just move in some direction. Make a decision and know that if it’s the wrong one, you can move again. Yes, making big choices isn’t easy, but no decision is perfect. We can only try our best.4. Let it be imperfect It’s high time to just let the things be. Maybe I'll even leave the dishes in the sink for once (baby steps). I still have a long way to go. I know this because I’m having a really hard time convincing myself to quit nitpicking this essay and send it already.Michelle Kennedy is a writer and adjunct professor in the Multimedia Communications Department at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco. A world traveler and former journalist, Kennedy also acts, hosts, and consults. You can follow Michelle on Facebook and Twitter.

Well-Being

8 Simple Ways to Take Charge of Your Health

Americans today consume too much fast food and sugar, are under too much stress, don’t get enough sleep or exercise and are disconnected from others. These deficiencies can promote inflammation in your body. Inflammation increases the risk of chronic pain, being overweight or obese, and can disrupt healthy sleep patterns. These strategies will help you turn this trend around and take charge of your life. 1. Stress Management This doesn’t have to mean 30 minutes of meditation every morning and every evening (although wouldn’t that be great!). Managing stress may be simply taking five minutes out of every hour to sit quietly with eyes closed and just focusing on your breath. It could also mean getting outside for a five- or 10- minute walk around the block. You may prefer an hour-long yoga class, biofeedback or guided meditation. Whatever you prefer, make it happen. 2. Adequate Sleep There isn’t necessarily a magic number when it comes to how much sleep everyone needs, but experts generally agree that somewhere between seven and nine hours serves most adults very well. And this means uninterrupted sleep in a peaceful environment (as much as is possible). Keep your room at a comfortable temperature if possible; when your room becomes either too hot or too cold, it can disrupt your sleep. 3. Make Your Food When we cook our own food, we take greater responsibility for what we are eating and are more likely to make wiser choices. If you are someone who doesn't cook, it’s time to begin to turn that around. Even if you begin with crafting a simple salad with some store-bought roasted chicken, nuts and/or seeds with a drizzle of olive oil, lemon juice and a dash of salt and pepper, you’ll be off to a great start. If apathy and a true lack of motivation keeps you from cooking, then just start by preparing things you can handle. Hard boil a half dozen eggs on a day you’re not working. Wash and chop vegetables so they will be ready when you need them. Soak some steel cut oats overnight and they’ll cook up in no time the next morning. Keep plenty of raw nuts, seeds and fresh fruit on hand when you want a healthy snack and begin to act like a person who enjoys cooking. 4. Exercise Get your head in the game. No more excuses. You are no longer someone who “just doesn’t exercise.” Begin anytime, anywhere. Go for a walk. Take a swim. Hop on a bike. Give Stand Up Paddle (SUP) a try. If you fail to move your body regularly, your body will fail to thrive. Move daily, no excuses. 5. Community Involvement People who volunteer, people who attend spiritual community (church, synagogue) on a regular basis, are shown, on average, to live longer compared to those who do not get involved. Shared connections, selfless service and a sense of belonging extends our lives and our happiness. 6. Veggie Time Make vegetables the center of your meal. We prefer vegetables over fruit because vegetables tend to be lower in sugar and a bit higher in nutritional value (more antioxidants, fiber, minerals, for example). Aim for 7 servings daily. Write down throughout the day what you’ve had and you’ll be more likely to achieve your goal. 7. Sugar Needs to Go The average sugar consumption per person has increased by a ridiculous amount over the last fifty years. Today the average American consumes approximately 25 to 50 teaspoons (=100 to 200 grams) of sugar daily. The recommended consumption is no more than 6 teaspoons (about 25 grams daily). Increased sugar increases inflammation in the body. 8. Gratitude Gratitude and positivity encourage greater health and longevity. We recommend the practice of keeping a gratitude journal in which you record at least five things that you are grateful for every single day (we like to do it at night before going to bed). Dr. James Rouse is a naturopathic doctor, entrepreneur, certified yoga instructor, speaker, author, radio talk show host and Ironman triathlete. Dr. James is best known for his highly engaging "Optimum Wellness" TV segments that highlight all areas of a wellness lifestyle, balancing mind, body, and spirit. Dr. Debra Rouse is a naturopathic doctor with extensive clinical experience in nutrition, botanical medicine, women's and children's health, homeopathy, lifestyle medicine, and physical conditioning. Dr. Debra is dedicated to educating and inspiring others to take charge of their health through community outreach seminars, articles, retreats, radio, and creating healthy recipes.

Self-Care

How Close is Your Relationship?

How much do you value your close relationships? Do you fear your partner will reject you? Are you afraid to commit? How you answer these questions can give you valuable insights into yourself and your relationships with the people closest to you. Research shows you can create distance in an intimate relationship two ways: anxiety and avoidance. Too much attachment-related anxiety, and you may worry your partner doesn’t feel the same way about you or that he or she may leave. Too much attachment-related avoidance, and you may fail to make a commitment and drive people away. When you take the Close Relationships Questionnaire, developed by R. Chris Fraley, Ph.D.; Niels G. Waller, Ph.D.; and Kelly A. Brennan, Ph.D., you can measure your level of attachment. Being happy in our relationships is crucial to our subjective wellbeing, and knowing where you are will show you where to go. Take the Close Relationship Quiz at AuthenticHappiness.org.

Alison Sweeney, host of The Biggest Loser

Self-Care

Alison Sweeney’s 3 Pillars of Health

One of the most important things that we talk about on the show is that nutrition and fitness go hand-in-hand in helping people get healthy.Health and happiness are not mutually exclusive. I believe it boils down to three pillars I call the Health Triangle: You want to put the healthiest food in your body so make it the easiest to grab. For example, put a bowl of freshly washed blueberries in the fridge so you can snack on those instead of reaching for the junk food.1. NutritionYou want to put the healthiest food in your body, so make that food the easiest to grab. For example, put a bowl of freshly washed blueberries in the fridge so you can snack on those instead of reaching for the junk food.2. ExerciseEven if you don’t make it to a class, that doesn't mean that you should do nothing—there’s always something you can do. For instance, do some jumping jacks and crunches during the commercial break of your favorite TV show, go for a walk on your lunch break, do plank pose and squats before you hop in the shower. Don't let the whole day go by without being active, even in some small way.3. SleepDon’t let stress or a busy schedule control your sleep. For years, even though I knew about the importance of sleep, I just never got enough and that’s why I teamed up with Sleep Number and am using their new SleepIQ technology to track and monitor my sleep. The technology works with the bed’s DualAir Technology so there is nothing to wear…all I do is sleep.

Self-Care

Runner Approved

MapMyRun is a multifunctional app that features more than 600 activities, including sponsored challenges, calorie tracking, route mapping with GPS and real-time stats on the screen and in your ear. It even lets you know when it’s time for a new pair of shoes. Now powered by fitness apparel giant Under Armour, the MapMyFitness network of apps boasts 30 million registered users. (Free with upgrade options on iOS and Android.) Zombies, Run! mixes fitness with freaky fun. If traditional running routines bore you, then this app will keep you on the run. With virtual Zombies all around you, you are immersed into a world of survival in which you are given instructions and tasks through your headphones to help you navigate the terrain. Join 1 million other runners and escape your workout without becoming lunch for the walking dead. ($3.99 on iOS and Android.) Nike+ Running keeps you in the race no matter what your skill level. From marathon runners to weekend joggers, you can track your progress, plan routes and check health stats with this handy fitness app. What’s more, you can stay motivated with your very own real-time cheering section from your social network. (Free on iOS and Android.) Couch to 5K is the ultimate running app for beginners. With virtual trainers and easy and slow-paced workouts, you’ll be race ready for your first 5K in about nine weeks. Like most GPS-based running apps, you’ll be able to keep track of your stats and listen to music while incrementally stepping up your running game in a safe way. ($1.99 on iOS and Android.)

Well-Being

6 Tips for Beating the Holiday Blues

The holidays can be a time of great joy. Ideally, the end of the year is a time of reflection and fun with family and friends. But for some, instead of holiday bliss, the stresses and obligations of the season bring on the holiday blues. Why would people get depressed during such a “happy” time? There are plenty of reasons. While celebrating, we are also likely to reflect on loved ones who are no longer here. In addition, we might feel obligated to “make the rounds,” traveling miles to attend family functions. With so many parties and big meals, this is also a time when we tend to overindulge in food and drink. It might be fun in the moment, but can lead to regret and even a sense of guilt or shame. Others might go a little overboard with gifts—for themselves and others. We max out credit cards, which leads to its own kind of financial hangover. All of this can drain our happiness during the holidays and lead to feelings of being overwhelmed or out of balance. Here are some things you can do to keep the blues at bay and to thrive during this season. 1. Reach out The holidays are a time to lean on your support system and talk to folks about how you feel. Don’t let geographic isolation hinder you; be creative in ways to connect with family and friends. Technology has given us many tools to use to stay connected, but sometimes we can feel isolated even when we're online. Pick up the phone and actually call someone. Better yet, throw a casual event at home and invite over people you’ve been meaning to see. 2. Give back There are plenty in need during the holiday. Spend some time exploring ways you can give back and assist others through the holidays. Find something that involves the whole family; these opportunities can lead to a greater sense of gratitude for the blessings in our own lives. Be a blessing yourself; serving others takes your eyes off your own struggles and puts things in perspective. 3. Remember the great times This may be the first holiday you are celebrating without a loved one. Take this time to highlight and remember what was great about that person. Reminisce about the good times and talk to other family and friends that suffered the same or similar losses. The holidays are a great time to get with others to talk about joyful times from the past, as well as creating new memories in the moment. 4. Keep spending in check There is no shortage of opportunities to spend money during the holidays. Be careful to set a budget and do your best to stick within it. Plan accordingly and use your imagination to come up with ways to create awesome memories at a low cost. Get creative and make some of your gifts this year. The time spent in building and creating something will be appreciated by your family. For white elephant gift exchange parties, set dollar limits for the gifts so people don't feel like they need to out-do each other. 5. Kick the comparisons Many take to the holidays with an observant eye, constantly looking at what others are doing and comparing their lifestyles. Focus on the awesome things in your life and celebrate the successes of others. You are where you are for a reason. Don’t get overwhelmed by the fact that others may have or do more. Enjoy your family; really connect during conversation by listening to what others are saying and appreciating the people that are around you. 6. Take care of yourself During these dark and chilly months, make sure you get your fair share of sunlight and exercise. Get outdoors as much as possible and soak in the scenery. It's tempting to hibernate, but try to stay active. Get to the gym for some cardio at least three times a week. This will keep your spirits up—and you won’t feel as bad about the second serving of dressing! With all of the fun to be had over the holiday season, make sure you stay well-rested. A good night’s sleep helps improve your mood, and gives you more energy to engage and connect with others. Happy Holidays! Dr. Clarence Lee is an author, speaker, physician and entrepreneur. To learn more about Dr. Lee, visit www.cmleejr.com.

Do What You Love

Head-to-Toe Wellness

Book the Time

Do You Have These Hidden Symptoms of Depression?

Moving Past Perfection

8 Simple Ways to Take Charge of Your Health

How Close is Your Relationship?

Alison Sweeney’s 3 Pillars of Health

Runner Approved

6 Tips for Beating the Holiday Blues

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