Relationships | Live Happy

The Pressures Teen Boys Face — And 3 Ways Parents Can Help

While many conversations about teen mental health and well-being often focus on the hardships girls face, teen boys face their own set of challenges that also deserve attention. The teenage years have never been easy, and that’s especially true in today’s rapidly changing world. Adolescent boys must navigate social media, conflicting messages about masculinity, loneliness, and pressures on their appearance — all while trying to discover who they are. The good news is that research shows parents can be one of the biggest positive contributors to protecting their son’s mental health, well-being, and happiness. Why Boys Are Struggling Many overlapping influences shape teen well-being. Social media can amplify the pressures boys have long experienced, with some online communities promoting rigid ideas about masculinity and appearance. Trends like the “manosphere” and “looksmaxxing” can reinforce messages that a boy’s worth depends on being emotionally stoic, physically attractive, or strong. Many boys also balance academic pressure, increasingly busy schedules, and the challenge of building meaningful in-person connections, making adolescence increasingly complex. Parents can’t fully control the messages their sons encounter online, the pressures they experience at school, or the expectations they face from their friends and peers. This may sound discouraging, but it’s also what makes the parent-child relationship so important. Home can become one of the places where boys feel accepted for who they are, not who they think they’re expected to be. Research published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine suggests that strong, supportive relationships with parents or caring adults can be one of the most powerful support systems for teen mental health, helping buffer the effects of stress while building resilience and emotional well-being. Mindfulness expert Kira Wiley emphasizes that kids don’t need perfect parents; they need emotionally present ones. When adults model emotional stability, listen with curiosity, and respond calmly rather than reacting, they create an emotional safety net that helps children and teens learn to regulate their own emotions. Over time, those small interactions build trust, making it more likely that teens will turn to their parents when life becomes more difficult to navigate as they get older. Every teen boy is unique, and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to ensuring their happiness. Parents can’t remove every challenge ahead of their sons, but they can offer something that no influencer or trend can replace — a relationship built on acceptance, love, and unconditional support. The small conversations and daily interactions you have may not seem extraordinary in the moment, but over time, they help build something every teen boy needs — a strong sense of self and the confidence to navigate life’s challenges knowing he doesn’t have to do it alone. 3 Ways to Help What can you do as a parent? Here are three suggestions from the experts: 1. Connect, play, and focus on emotional safety. Whether it’s taking a walk, playing a game of basketball in the driveway, cooking dinner, or running errands together, shared activities create natural opportunities for conversation without pressure. Creating playful moments takes it a step further, as play can help family members step outside their usual roles, deepen their connection, and create a sense of belonging. 2. Teach healthy online habits. Research shows social media isn’t inherently good or bad for teens. Parents engaging with their children’s digital lives has been shown to help them develop healthy habits, rather than relying on restrictions alone. The American Psychological Association offers a robust set of recommendations to reduce the harmful effects of social media. At the top of the list, using social media to create opportunities for “social support, online companionship, and emotional intimacy” is best, as data suggests teens may benefit from this type of online social interaction. 3. Help them find places where they belong. Everyone needs to feel a sense of belonging. Encourage your teen to build relationships through sports, clubs, volunteering, hobbies, part-time jobs, faith communities, or other activities where they can connect. Having multiple sources of belonging helps ensure a teen’s identity is well-rounded and isn’t tied to a single person, sport, or achievement. The goal isn’t to keep them busy, it’s to help them develop meaningful connections in a safe space with other teens who have shared interests.

relationships

Why Moments of Connection Don’t Always Cure Loneliness in Older Adults — And What You Can Do Instead

Loneliness doesn’t always look the way people expect. The emotion is often taken at face value and thought of as something that comes from spending too much time alone. Research shows it’s far more complicated. A person may have a partner or exchange texts and phone calls with friends and family regularly and still feel a strong sense of loneliness. Experts say the emotion can’t be boiled down to the amount of social contact a person experiences. Dr. Jeremy Nobel, founder of the Project UnLonely initiative, explains: “It’s subjective, it’s a feeling, it’s a mood state. It’s the difference between the social connections with other people that we would like to have and what we feel we do have. That gap is what we experience as loneliness. It has nothing to do with whether there are other people around you. It’s whether you have the social connections you want.” WHY LONELINESS CAN FEEL STRONGER AFTER CONNECTION A study published in The Journals of Gerontology found that older adults were more likely to reach for their phones to call a loved one when they felt alone. While a call may provide comfort in the moment, the study revealed that only in-person contact was effective at providing a lasting reduction in loneliness. Some people may notice an increase in loneliness after a phone call ends. This could be related to the “contrast effect,” known in psychology as a cognitive bias in which a person’s perception changes when compared directly with a recent experience. In this case, the emotional warmth of a phone call could make the return to solitude feel more noticeable or uncomfortable. The research suggests that human connection is built through more than conversation alone. In-person interaction may not create the same emotional drop-off because it often provides a deeper sense of connection through the benefits of face-to-face communication. Nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, physical touch, and body language all add up to help people feel more understood and emotionally supported. This doesn’t mean phone calls are unhelpful. For many, they serve as meaningful connections to friends and family and can provide comfort and stability. However, lasting relief from loneliness may depend on more than simply staying in touch. WAYS TO FEEL MORE CONNECTED Participate in shared activities. Spending time with others while participating in a shared activity can help deepen existing relationships while creating opportunities to form new friendships along the way! Joining a walking group, taking a class, or participating in a hobby group can help older adults feel connected and create a sense of rhythm and stability that can foster this connection over time. Build everyday social connections. Casual social interactions can play an important role in emotional well-being. A friendly conversation with a neighbor, a barista at your local coffee shop, or the morning cashier at the grocery store can all add up to create a greater sense of belonging. These everyday moments can help people feel seen, familiar, and part of a larger community. Get online — intentionally. While social media is frequently blamed for increasing loneliness, that isn’t always the case. Research highlighted in the World Happiness Report suggests that older adults may be more likely to use social media to maintain relationships, making it as a bridge between in-person interactions. A video call with a grandchild or interacting with an online community centered around a shared interest can help maintain relationships. The key is to use social media for connection rather than passive consumption. Give back. Dr. Jeremy Nobel encourages building connection by contributing to a meaningful cause. Volunteering, mentoring, or participating in community events can help older adults feel needed, valued, and connected to a larger sense of meaning and belonging. Loneliness is not a personal failure or an inevitable experience of aging. Although brief moments of connection like a phone call or text can provide comfort, a lasting sense of belonging can grow through consistent, emotionally supportive relationships and shared experiences. The goal isn’t to avoid being alone — it’s to close the gap between the connection people want and the connection they feel in everyday life.

Parenting

Why Clutter Feels So Stressful — And 4 Ways to Organize for Back-to-School

A favorite T-shirt has gone missing. Now the meltdown begins, and the world is coming to an end. Every parent has been there! Finding the T-shirt might solve the problem for now, but misplaced belongings can create a larger source of stress for families, leaving parents carrying the mental load. Fortunately, you don’t need a picture-perfect, Marie Kondo-approved home to make family life run more smoothly. A few simple systems can do the heavy lifting to reduce the stressful moments that come with starting a new school year. THE MENTAL LOAD OF A MESSY HOME Clutter doesn’t just affect how a home looks, it’s been shown to impact how a person feels. Research published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that household clutter was associated with lower overall well-being. Additionally, in a UCLA study, women who described their homes as cluttered were found to have less healthy daily cortisol patterns and increasingly depressed moods throughout the day. When everyday belongings don’t have predictable homes, the repeated searching adds another layer of work and stress to an already busy parent’s day. FOUR ORGANIZING TIPS FOR A SMOOTH TRANSITION BACK TO SCHOOL 1. Create a landing zone Getting out the door in the morning is often the most stressful time of the day. In the book Tidy Up Your Life, Tyler Moore explains how his family replaced a decorative entry table with functional storage based on how the space is really used. To implement a landing zone, choose one area near the door for things your family needs to bring with them for the day, such as backpacks, shoes, lunch bags, and activity equipment. Use low hooks, bins, and labeled baskets that children can easily reach to give each item a home. Then, encourage everyone to return their belongings to the same place when they come home. 2. Give paperwork a home School papers, artwork, and permission slips can stack up quickly. Instead of letting them get lost in the shuffle or at the bottom of a backpack, a solution is to give them a predictable place to land. “We have a four-tier letter tray to organize four categories of paper: incoming, pending, outgoing, and art/sentimental,” Tyler writes. “If we don’t have time to deal with the piece of paper in question, we can just toss it into one of the four labeled trays and then deal with it by category later.” 3. Move remembering out of your head Parents carry a heavy mental load. To help, Tyler recommends giving each child a reusable checklist to help manage their own morning routine. For younger kids, pairing words with pictures can be helpful. A checklist gives kids ownership over their morning, helps keep them on track, and can reduce the amount of verbal reminders required from parents. Example checklist: Eat breakfast Get dressed Make the bed Brush teeth Brush hair Pack lunch Put on socks & shoes 4. End the day with a simple reset A quick evening reset can keep small tasks from becoming morning emergencies. Return backpacks to the landing zone, put away toys and books, make sure homework is packed up, and check the calendar for anything needed the next day. Inviting kids to participate is great for helping them understand that preparing for school is a shared responsibility. If getting started feels overwhelming, set a timer for five minutes and tidy until it goes off. This can make the task feel manageable, and even a partial reset can make the next morning easier. PARENTS: DIGITAL CLUTTER IS STRESSFUL TOO Clutter unfortunately isn’t limited to living rooms and kitchen counters. A study from Aalto University found that digital clutter, like excessive open tabs, browser windows, and apps, was a serious source of stress for one in four survey participants. Carnegie Mellon researchers found that people often leave tabs open as reminders, or out of fear they won’t find the information again, even when the open tabs are knowingly causing distress. Give yourself permission to do a digital reset by closing tabs you don’t need, turning off unnecessary notifications, and bookmarking anything you might want to revisit later. Your brain will thank you! A HAPPIER HOME Remember, organization is a learned skill. The goal isn’t to keep your home perfectly mess free at all times (though wouldn’t that be nice?). Instead, focusing on creating a handful of reliable systems makes everyday life easier for the whole family. When less time and energy is spent managing daily clutter, there’s more room for calm, connection, and happy moments together.

Community

Finding Their Voice: How Creative Writing Is Helping People Experiencing Homelessness Tell Their Stories

For people experiencing homelessness, much of life can feel defined by circumstance. Isolation and stereotypes often overshadow talents and dreams. At Father Joe's Villages in San Diego, a creative writing workshop is helping change the narrative by giving participants something powerful: a chance to be seen as artists. The workshop's roots trace back to 2023, when grant writer and theater educator Aleta Barthell launched a playwriting program thanks in part to funding from California Humanities. Participants spent weeks crafting original work and preparing it for public performances at the San Diego Central Library. But those performances were only part of the story. Following each production, audience members, artists, and staff gathered for conversations about homelessness, creating opportunities for people to understand and connect. When grant funding ended, the future of the workshop became uncertain. Rather than let it disappear, Aleta volunteered her time and relaunched it earlier this year, drawing on more than two decades of experience teaching creative writing, playwriting, and screenwriting. The program evolved through a partnership with the San Diego Opera, which introduced a songwriting workshop. A Place To Be Heard For Robert, one of the workshop's regular attendees, the program arrived at exactly the right time. A writer and musician, Robert was struggling with depression and entered Father Joe's Villages' RISE program, which provides interim support to people working toward independent living. Looking for something meaningful to engage with, he noticed a flyer advertising the writing workshop. “When I saw a writing program, I said that's a great place to start for me,” he said. “I decided to get involved.” What he found was more than a creative outlet. Each week, participants gather to write, share ideas, and encourage one another. Some have creative backgrounds, while others are putting pen to paper for the first time. What unites them is the willingness to show up and tell their stories. “It's the total opposite of what's going on on the streets,” Robert said. “It's such a relief for so many of us.” Participants come from different backgrounds and face different challenges, but in the workshop they become a community. “People don't always consider that art can contribute to our uplift or give us the chance to create meaningful, positive memories,” Robert said. Aleta has witnessed remarkable transformations. One participant from the playwriting workshop arrived feeling deeply nervous and unsure of herself. “Something that she said in that first session that I keep with me is, ‘Stuff is written about us all the time, but there isn't stuff from us.’ And so I'm trying to balance giving tools yet giving enough time for people to just express,” Aleta said. Over time, the woman’s family noticed a striking change in her confidence and outlook. The workshop became a source of joy and connection, and her family encouraged her to keep attending whenever life felt overwhelming. More Than A Writing Class For Robert, one of the workshop's greatest strengths is the way it challenges stereotypes. “Rarely ever are they seen through a lens of respected artists,” he said of people experiencing homelessness or mental health challenges. Too often, people in those situations are viewed through the services they receive or the struggles they face. In the workshop, the focus shifts to creativity, imagination, and potential. “The way Aleta treats us, the way the actors who come in to support the program treat people according to their mind and creativity, I think that's really, really special,” Robert said. The workshop serves as a reminder that every person is far more complex than the circumstances they are navigating, and the impact goes even farther than that. Building Momentum For The Future Robert credits the workshop with helping reignite a sense of momentum in his life. He has recently secured employment and submitted housing applications. “It's created actionable energy in my life that got me moving,” he said. “I’d like to see that happen for other people.” For Aleta, stories like Robert's demonstrate that creative expression is about far more than making art. It can foster confidence, connection, purpose, and a renewed sense of possibility, all of which play an important role in overall well-being. She hopes the workshop's success will attract additional funding and community support, creating more opportunities for people to share their voices “We want people thriving,” Aleta said. “If you really want to talk about breaking down stereotypes, you do it by showing the sparkle these people have.” How to Support the Workshop Father Joe's Villages' Creative Writing Workshop is looking for participants, volunteers, and community partners who believe in the power of storytelling and creative expression. To learn more about attending the workshop or supporting its mission, contact Aleta at 619-446-2127. For additional information about Father Joe's Villages and its programs, click here.

relationships

The Secret to a Healthier Family Dynamic Might Be More Play

Not all family time is created equal. Each day, time together might look like sharing meals, shuttling kids to and from activities, tackling household chores, or even watching TV. While those moments matter, they don’t always translate into feeling connected. Between busy schedules, stress, screens, and the pressures of life, it’s easy for family time to feel focused on logistics rather than genuine interaction. According to Brian Lippincott, Ph.D., author of Analytical Psychology and Family Systems: Neo-Jungian Practice to Help Families Find Flow, one of the simplest ways families can strengthen their connection each day is through play. Decades of research show that play serves an important purpose. More than simply adding fun to life, it supports emotional development, strengthens relationships, and helps people adapt to stress. These benefits create opportunities for genuine connection that otherwise get lost in the routines of daily life. PLAY REVEALS NEW SIDES OF EACH OTHER Every family develops its own unique patterns of communication. Frequently, this can look like family members adopting individual “roles” — one child might become the “responsible one”, the “peacemaker,” or even the “troublemaker.” A parent may become the “fun one” or the “disciplinarian.” These roles can be beneficial, helping families function smoothly. If each person knows which part they play, family interactions can feel predictable. Knowing what to expect from each other creates a sense of comfort, safety, and belonging. The flip side is that these roles can feel limiting. Over time, family members can start to see each other primarily through the lens of these identities. The peacemaker daughter might feel expected to be more mature than her age. Or the responsible parent who always keeps the family organized may struggle to relax. When people become defined by a role, they can lose opportunities to express other parts of themselves. Play is the ticket to temporarily escaping these roles. During play, there is permission to act out of the ordinary. Parents can be silly, while kids can take the lead. The peacemaker has an opportunity to become competitive, and the responsible one can let loose. Play creates a safe space to discover new sides to one another that aren’t normally visible. CONNECTION OVER CORRECTION “Problem-solving mode” is a default for many parents. When a stressful situation arises, or a problem behavior comes out, the most natural next step feels like correcting, fixing, or disciplining. While guidance is important, strong relationships are built through connection first. Play can help shift the focus. Psychologist and play researcher Stuart Brown, MD, founder of the National Institute for Play, believes that shared moments of play can help everyone in a family lower their defenses, creating a shared sense of safety. This safety makes it easier for everyone to feel seen, heard, and understood. Instead of correcting, teaching, or evaluating one another, ask yourself if it’s necessary in that moment. Each moment of connection builds trust and strengthens the relationship, making difficult conversations easier to navigate when they inevitably arise. FINDING “FLOW” AS A FAMILY Brian’s work centers on the idea of “family flow”, a concept inspired by the research of flow states from psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D. Mihaly found that “flow” occurs when you become fully engaged in a meaningful activity, losing track of time, and becoming immersed in the experience at hand. Families can experience flow together. The fastest way to find flow as a family is through shared play. Whether it’s working on a puzzle, playing a card game, building a pillow fort, or throwing a ball — engaging in a playful activity encourages family members to be fully present. Moments of shared flow do more than create happy memories — they encourage communication, cooperation, and presence. The shift in attention strengthens a sense of belonging. For many, these shared moments of flow become the stories families tell for years, not because the activity itself was extraordinary, but because everyone felt genuinely connected. WHAT COUNTS AS PLAY? Play is broader than a card game or a children’s toy. It can last a moment, or hours, and be structured, or completely unplanned. What matters isn’t the activity itself, it’s the spirit behind it. Play might look like telling a silly story in the car, creating art together, throwing on music and dancing while cooking dinner, or dressing up in costumes. It can be spontaneous, or more structured, like a planned family game night or a camping trip. Play doesn’t need to be elaborate or expensive. What matters most is that family members are engaged and free to be creative, curious, and fully present. Don’t be fooled: Healthy families still experience conflict and stress. The key is that they also find ways to reconnect. Play is a powerful pathway to that connection, helping family members step outside their usual roles, build trust, and create shared experiences that build strong relationships for a lifetime.

Community

Laundromat Libraries: Making Everyday Spaces Places to Learn

We all remember the early days of COVID-19 survival: toilet paper shortages, grocery deliveries, and everyone suddenly at home, all the time. Schools closed, and at-home learning became the norm for some. For others, learning simply stopped. Without access to classrooms, libraries, or a steady supply of books, many students lost the opportunity to read and stay engaged. COVID didn’t create the problem; it exposed and magnified a long-standing gap in access. “A lot of students are living in book deserts, which are areas where there’s a lack of quality literature,” says Ryland Adzich. From Book Drives to Bigger Questions In 2020, Ryland entered high school in the San Francisco Bay Area. Motivated to help others, she joined a friend organizing book drives. Ryland personally distributed 100,000 books, but knew she could take it a step further. “I realized I created these book drives, but I don’t often see where the books are going,” she says. “They’re not always getting to environments that are the most effective for learning.” The realization shifted her thinking from distributing books to creating spaces where reading could truly thrive. [caption id="attachment_22549" align="alignright" width="440"] Ryland Adzich, undergraduate student in the Dedman College of Humanities and Sciences at Southern Methodist University, establishes a library at the Scrub a Dubs Laundromat in Dallas, Texas for children to read while their parents do laundry.[/caption] Building Spaces That Support Learning Ryland partnered with the afterschool program San Francisco City Impact to create a literacy multipurpose room and technology lab for K-8 students in the city’s highest crime district. The lab gives the 3,000 students in the district a safe place to learn, create, and access technology. Still, Ryland went further. She began collaborating with New York University professor Dr. Susan B. Neuman, who had developed small literacy spaces in New York City. “I thought, ‘I can totally adapt that and bring it here to the West Coast and make it my own thing,’” Ryland said. “And that’s what I did.” Meeting Families Where They Are She identified a key opportunity: Children ages 3 to 10 were often present in laundromats with long stretches of idle time. “I found through surveys and sitting in laundromats that that’s kind of the sweet spot,” she says. Her solution was to create small, accessible literacy spaces embedded in everyday environments. Each laundromat library includes a shelf with 10 to 20 books in both English and Spanish. Some locations add chairs if space allows. The cost is about $100 to $120 per setup. “It’s all about how we can bring books to these everyday spaces,” Ryland says, “so books aren’t just associated with the classroom.” From Waiting to Connection These spaces are designed to spark curiosity and interaction, and it’s working. “Feedback has been absolutely amazing, especially from laundromat owners,” she says. “A big thing they are seeing is families talking with one another. Families say their kids want to come to the laundromat and read.” Volunteers check in every few months to restock books because children often take them home. That’s considered a success. “It’s such a team effort,” Ryland says. “Knowing you have laundromat owners who want to do this, and people who want to help and donate, that’s been really exciting.” A Growing Movement Now a student at Southern Methodist University studying political science and computer engineering, Ryland has expanded the program to Dallas while continuing to grow the footprint in Northern California. Today, 10 laundromat libraries serve communities across both regions. Each one is a signal that learning can happen anywhere. With nonprofit status secured and momentum building, Ryland is looking to reach more families and more communities. She hopes to partner with a national laundry brand to help expand her mission nationwide. Happiness Through Helping Others A sense of impact is what keeps Ryland going. Putting people first so they can thrive in their education is her true motivation. “When it comes to happiness and that feeling of making a difference, it’s fulfilling when you’ve helped make someone else’s life journey that much better,” Ryland says. “Helping people is very powerful for me." Ryland’s work proves that real change doesn’t always require grand gestures, just thoughtful ones. To learn more about her non-profit, The Creative Destination, or for volunteer opportunities, click here. Photos courtesy of SMU

relationships

Raising Calm Kids in Chaotic Times

Parenting in today’s world can feel emotionally overwhelming, to say the least. Busy schedules, stressful headlines, never-ending notifications, and everyday demands have many parents worried about whether they’re happy and calm enough to navigate stress without passing it on to their kids. Unlike skills children learn independently through curiosity and exploration, child development experts say emotional regulation is learned through their connection with caregivers. This can put pressure on parents to feel that they always need to keep their cool, even in stressful times. The good news is that raising calm kids doesn’t mean being perfectly calm all of the time. Instead, researchers say children learn resilience by seeing healthy emotional coping, repair, and recovery in action. KIDS BORROW OUR CALM Before kids can calm themselves down when upset, or talk through and identify their feelings, they rely on adults around them to help regulate their emotions. As Kira Wiley, author of The Joyful Child, explained on the Live Happy Now podcast, “Our child’s nervous system is wired to mirror our nervous system. Our calm is contagious, so is our chaos, so is our stress.” Harvard Health experts refer to this as “co-regulation.” Lauren Marchette, a child, adolescent, and family psychologist and a lecturer in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, states, "At its heart, co-regulation is connecting with a child who's in distress and being able to evaluate what that child needs in the moment to help calm themselves." As children grow, they become more independent emotionally, but they still look to trusted adults for cues on how to handle difficult moments. Emotional regulation isn’t something they can master on their own; they build it through thousands of small everyday interactions over time. CALM DOESN’T MEAN PERFECT Of course, no parent can stay calm at all times. Stress, frustration, impatience, and overwhelm are all a part of parenting (and being human). Emotional regulation isn’t about suppressing these emotions or pretending they don’t exist. This also doesn’t mean that children should be protected from stress, discomfort, or chaos. What helps kids develop skills of emotional regulation is witnessing what healthy recovery looks like. It’s about learning that difficult feelings can be recognized, managed, and overcome. Modeling emotional regulation can look surprisingly simple. It might mean naming feelings out loud by saying, “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a deep breath.” These moments help kids learn that calm is not the absence of stress, but the ability to return to steadiness after a difficult feeling. REALISTIC DAILY PRACTICES FOR EMOTIONAL REGULATION The following practices from Kira’s book, The Joyful Child, will help you keep your cool; kids learn more from what you do than what you say. If you take a moment to recenter yourself and shift your mood into a better place, that’s a skill kids both witness and internalize for later in life. As Kira states, “Calming yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s strategic.” Take a S-T-O-P Break S = Stop. Literally just pause whatever you’re doing (and thinking about). This doesn’t mean you have to freeze — just take a brief moment to reset your attention. T = Take a Breath. Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, allowing your lungs to fill. Hold for a second or two, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Feel free to repeat this a couple of times. Focusing on your breath helps bring your awareness back to your body and the present moment. O = Observe. With your next inhale, observe how you’re feeling. What’s going on inside your mind and body? Are you tense? Anxious about something? Calm? Notice any thoughts and emotions without judgment. You don’t need to fix anything right now — just acknowledge what’s present. P = Proceed. After taking a moment to stop, breathe, and observe, carry on with what you were doing — hopefully with more grounded energy and a bit more clarity in your mind. Connect, Then Direct Many parents find that the most difficult struggles of the day happen during transitions — for example, transitioning from playing at home to getting in the car and going to school. A tool that parents can rely on during these moments to make transitions more joyful is something Kira calls “connect, then direct.” From The Joyful Child: Slow down and make contact — Take your usual morning-rush-hour speed down a few notches and offer big hugs first, high fives when the teeth get brushed, lots of pats on the back. Look in your child’s eyes when you talk to them and listen when they talk to you. (It makes a huge difference here to minimize outside distractions and noise by turning off TVs and things that go beep). Say less — Raise your hand if you’ve ever found yourself rushing around, shouting “OK, we’re going! Get your shoes on!” as you dash to grab something you forgot. You come back and the shoes are still not on. Now let me ask you, are YOU really ready to walk out the door? Probably not. Connect, then direct — Slow down and connect with them first. Then you can say it once and mean it. Here’s how it works: Look your child in the eyes — when neither of you are doing anything else at the same time — and say, “In five minutes, it will be time to put your shoes on.” Then in five minutes say, “It’s time to put your shoes on.” Full stop. Give the instruction when it’s genuinely time to do the thing and when you’re actually ready yourself. Use Music to Change the Vibe Music can be a powerful tool to help with emotional regulation, for both kids and adults. Instead of trying to force feeling calm, Kira suggests using music to shift the tone. “You can be the DJ of the vibe in your house. Use music as a tool to curate the vibe that you want, which I think is really an underestimated tool that people don’t think about using. If you want clean up to be a dance party, put on a fantastic song and start dancing and wiggling while you’re cleaning up. Your child’s going to join you.” FOCUS ON CONNECTION Connection is at the heart of all of these practices. Small moments, like a hug before leaving for school, a deep breath after frustration, or a playful song during clean up, can help kids (and adults!) feel grounded even when life feels chaotic. Kira believes parents underestimate how much joy can be intermixed into everyday life. “We can weave more joy and connection into our daily routines very easily without extra time, special training, equipment, or anything else. Just simple, playful activities. It will make everyone calmer, happier, more regulated, more self-aware, and just make it a more joyful experience for everybody.”

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The Happiness Benefits of Planting a Butterfly Garden — for You and Your Kids

In a world where screens demand more and more of our attention, it can be difficult to make time for much else. This may be one reason why interest in "analog hobbies” like gardening is rapidly growing — with Forbes deeming 2026 “The Year of Analog Living”, and arts & crafts company Michaels reporting searches for “analog hobbies” on its site increased by 136% in the second half of 2025. Many people, especially families, are looking for screen-free activities to encourage slowing down and reconnecting with the outdoors. It may not surprise you that the benefits of getting outside are profound. Research from the Journal of Happiness Studies found that connecting with nature leads to higher overall well-being and feelings of having a greater sense of meaning in life. The Overwhelming Benefits of Gardening The term “biophilia” is used by researchers to describe the human tendency for seeking connection with nature and living things. And humans seek it out for good reason — engaging with nature has been shown to reduce stress levels, improve attention, and increase positive mood. Research even suggests that seeking connection with the outdoors can reduce mortality! According to Preventative Medicine Reports, gardening offers its own unique health benefits by combining time in nature with physical activity, hands-on sensory experiences, and relaxation. It also creates an opportunity for families to spend intentional time together outdoors, encouraging connection with each other and the natural world. Why a Butterfly Garden Butterflies naturally spark curiosity, drawing kids in with their bright colors, fluttering movements, and dramatic transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. Children tend to retain information best when learning is tied to a sensory experiences and emotional engagement. A butterfly garden does just that — turning your backyard into a living science lab and giving kids the opportunity to observe natural processes firsthand. They can witness pollination, metamorphosis, flowers blooming and changing with the seasons, and the tiny ecosystems at work in their own backyard. How to Get Started Find a Location A butterfly garden can be added to an existing garden, started from scratch, or even created as a container garden! The National Garden Bureau recommends starting with a space of 3 feet by 6 feet, or grouping three to four large containers together on a patio, balcony, or deck. Find the sunniest spot available — butterflies use the heat of the sun to control their body temperature and to help them fly. Choose Your Plants Butterflies are pollinators that drink the nectar from flowers, meaning you’ll want to plant flowers that provide a succession of blooms to attract butterflies throughout the season. Brightly colored flowers such as orange butterfly weed and red salvia are a great place to start for attracting butterflies. Common garden favorites such as chives, bee balm, black-eyed Susan, and echinacea are also beloved by butterflies. Annuals such as cosmos, petunias, and zinnias bloom all season long, providing a continuous source of nectar. Milkweed, dill, fennel, and parsley provide a great source of nourishment for caterpillar larvae. For more suggestions on flower species to plant, visit the National Garden Bureau’s website. Accessorize Rocks provide warm spots for butterflies to rest. Line the edges of your garden with stones, landscape with larger rocks or boulders, or create a small rock pile for butterflies to enjoy. Stepping stones can add a fun whimsical element to the space, make the garden feel even more interactive for your kids, and be a warm place for butterflies to land. Saucers, “butterfly puddles”, or concave rocks that collect water all can provide water sources for butterflies. Adding sand or pebbles can make it more appealing for butterflies to land and enjoy the space. Enjoy Grab a chair or hang a hammock to sit back, relax, and enjoy your garden. Butterflies typically are not afraid of humans, so don’t be shy! Make a habit of observing the garden daily — a great way to get kids to interact with the garden is by starting a log of the different insects you see, exploring with a magnifying glass, or even using the flowers or bugs as inspiration for an art project. Beyond attracting butterflies, these gardens create opportunities for connection — encouraging families to slow down, get curious, and reconnect with each other and the natural world. They create small moments of wonder benefiting both kids and adults alike. And don’t worry — butterflies aren’t perfectionists. A slightly weedy garden won’t scare them away, and a little wildness is all part of the magic.

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Finding Awe in the Everyday Chaos of Parenting

You finally made it through bedtime, complete with multiple stories, glasses of water, and a meltdown. Right as you sit on the couch to relax, the baby starts crying. Parenting young children fills the day with a rollercoaster of highs and lows. It begs the question: Does having a child make you happier? WHY PARENTING FEELS BOTH JOYFUL AND EXHAUSTING Research shows the answer to this question is complicated. Often referred to as the “parenting paradox,” parents report greater life satisfaction than adults without children, while also reporting higher levels of stress and depression in their daily lives. How does this add up? Anthony Vaccaro, a research assistant professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, reports that a study conducted by the University of Southern California following new fathers revealed that whether parenthood makes you happier isn’t really about the children themselves; it has much more to do with feeling purpose in life. In the study, brain scans were conducted before and after the birth of their child. The brains of fathers who reported a sense of increased meaning in life after their child’s birth showed increased activity in the areas responsible for linking a person’s emotions with their sense of identity. “A father might feel overwhelmed by sleepless nights yet still contextualize this experience as part of a meaningful existence,” Anthony observes. “In other words, the challenging emotions people deal with in the short term can become independent from a long-term sense of satisfaction, potentially because separate brain processes underlie the two feelings.” New research says awe may be the cheat code to help find greater meaning in parenting. HOW AWE HELPS PARENTS FIND DEEPER MEANING Awe is the feeling you experience during a moment of overwhelming greatness or wonder. An important element of awe is its ability to take you out of yourself and connect you to something larger. It’s often encountered during life’s big moments, like witnessing the birth of a child. But awe can be experienced and cultivated in the little moments of daily life as well. A new study from the University of Rochester, led by Princeton Chee, found that experiencing awe in relation to children not only enhanced the parent-child bond but also improved overall well-being by enhancing life's meaning. “We find that awe can actually strengthen parental well-being more broadly and holistically,” Princeton notes, additionally highlighting that “these positive emotional experiences don’t diminish the challenges of parenthood. Rather, the finding suggests that cultivating and savoring moments of awe can help parents find greater joy, meaning, and richness in the parenting experience.” During moments of awe, time feels like it slows down, helping parents feel immersed in the moment. While it’s easy to experience awe in big, milestone moments, like a baby's first steps or the first day of school, you can also create moments of awe by slowing down and tuning in. Research suggests that experiencing awe in everyday life can be just as meaningful as the milestones. HOW TO FIND AWE IN THE ORDINARY Cultivating awe doesn’t mean pretending that parenthood is easy or without stress. It’s about taking a moment to notice the small ways that life is extraordinary. Parenting is an awe-generation machine — if you know how to look for it. Simple ways to cultivate awe: Take an “awe walk” Instead of taking a walk and using it as an opportunity to catch up on a podcast, try using the time to notice your surroundings. Listen to the birds or the rhythm of your child’s steps beside your own, point out a flower or tree you haven’t paid attention to before, and encourage your child to participate with you. Create small moments or rituals Awe doesn’t need to be spontaneous; you can invite it in! Bring your child outside in the evening to listen to the frogs, look at the moon together, or witness the first snowfall of the season. These simple experiences can become lasting emotional memories. Use technology for good Not all screen time is created equal. Doomscrolling might feel satisfying for a moment, but technology can be used as a method of inspiring awe or facilitating connection with the right intention. A song, video, or photo that sparks curiosity or happiness can interrupt stress and lift your mood. Pay attention to how you feel afterwards, and focus on connection — like sharing a song with a friend or texting a grandparent about a funny moment with your child. Experience awe through your child’s eyes Children are naturally wired to experience awe. A child seeing a giraffe, a shooting star, or a bubble pop for the first time can reconnect you with a sense of wonder and serve as a reminder that life is extraordinary. Take a deep breath, get on their level, and witness a moment from their perspective. Parenting will never be exclusively joyful — stress, exhaustion, and frustration are a part of the package. Awe gives parents a tool to hold both of these truths — reminding you of the beauty that exists alongside the chaos, and of how meaningful the experience of parenting can be.

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How to Find Friends: A Guide to Meaningful Connections

Making friends is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, but it’s also one of the most difficult. Whether you have just moved to a new city and are navigating social anxiety or simply want to expand your social circle, finding friends can feel like a daunting task. However, with a little patience, effort and the right approach, building lasting friendships is entirely possible. Most importantly, we must realize the importance of experiencing these friends in person. We might meet them online, but the real friendship flourishes face-to-face. Why Making Friends Can Be Challenging In today’s fast-paced world, many factors make forming new friendships tricky. Busy schedules, digital distractions and introversion can all create barriers. According to research, many people often have difficulty connecting in person after heavily relying on digital communication. However, understanding these challenges is the first step in overcoming them. It’s essential to embrace vulnerability and make time for face-to-face interactions, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Where to Look for Friends Friendships often begin in places where you spend the most time. This could be your workplace, local coffee shops or hobbies you are passionate about. Shared interests are one of the most effective ways to build a connection as they provide natural conversation starters. Studies show that people who engage in regular activities together are more likely to form deep, lasting friendships. Online communities are another great avenue, especially for those who struggle with face-to-face interactions. Whether it’s through social media groups, gaming or niche forums, these platforms allow the first introduction to connect with like-minded people and establish bonds over interests. But we must remember that they begin a friendship, but it’s best to then grow the friendship in person. Building Meaningful Connections Once you’ve identified potential friends, the next step is building a genuine connection. It’s essential to prioritize quality over quantity. Instead of trying to meet as many people as possible, focus on cultivating a few deep relationships. This involves some active listening, showing interest in others’ lives and asking open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing. People are more likely to connect with you if they feel heard and understood, so take time to engage deeply and authentically. A little vulnerability goes a long way. Don’t be afraid to share about yourself as well. Keeping The Friendship Alive Making a friend is just the first step: maintaining the friendship is equally important. This means following up after your initial meeting, scheduling regular hangouts and being a consistent presence in their lives. Be a good listener, offer support when needed, and make time to nurture the connection through coffee dates or nice long walks together. While making friends might feel like a challenging task, it’s entirely achievable with the right mindset and approach. Be patient, stay open to new opportunities and remember that every meaningful friendship begins with one simple step—showing up. When you take the first step, you might just find the connections you are wishing for as you work to share your life with others. Dr. Lori Whatley is a psychologist and expert on human connection with more than 25 years of experience. She helps businesses and families manage digital distractions and foster meaningful relationships. Author of Connected and Engaged and Happier Together, Dr. Lori is known for her approachable style and insight. She holds advanced degrees from California Southern, Mercer, and UGA, and has traveled to over 85 countries. Also listen to this Live Happy Now podcast featuring Dr. Lori: How to Make Friendships That Last

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