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Colleagues exchanging presents at a meeting.

Try These 5 Better Ways to Celebrate at Work

This year when you celebrate the holidays with your colleagues, try putting the focus on experiences instead of gifts. With the five options below, you’ll not only have more fun, but you’ll spend less money, too. A win-win! People derive more satisfaction from experiences than from material goods, according to research by psychologist Thomas Gilovich and his colleagues at Cornell University. Their study found this happens for three reasons: Our identities are more tied in with experiences than with things; when we receive an experience, we don’t tend to compare it to other experiences; and when we enjoy an experience together it reinforces a positive relationship more than when exchanging gifts. 1. Group Adventure Alternative to the Traditional Party The usual: Your boss schedules the traditional holiday party, catered or at a restaurant. How to shake it up: Take a group cooking class. Nothing creates a strong bond like making chocolate éclairs with Delphine in accounting. Bring in a laughter yoga or balloon-making instructor. 2. Experience Gifting Alternative to Secret Santa The usual: The $10 or $20 Secret Santa exchange. How to Shake it up: Make it a “Secret Santa Scavenger Hunt.” Leave clues for a few days for your recipient with a meaningful quote or a book as the last present. Give mini-experiences. Employees visit colleagues’ work spaces on a designated day to receive gifts of fun or knowledge such as the reading of a motivational quote, a lesson about art or yoga, or a game of Nerf basketball. 3. Free and Meaningful Activity Alternative to Overspending The usual: An overpriced company dinner out at a restaurant. How to shake it up: Arrange for a taco truck to come to the office for lunch and let everyone go wild trying out new combinations. Volunteer as a team at a local soup kitchen or food distribution center. 4. Socially Responsible Shopping Experience Alternative to Buying for People Who Need Nothing The usual: You buy an expensive gift for your boss, even though she’s the proverbial woman who has everything. How to shake it up: Shop for a family in need. Your local fire department, shelter or religious institution will collect and distribute your gifts. Organize a “field trip” with your team to your local toy or discount store and have a blast picking out items. Savor how good it feels to give to others. 5. Positive procrastination Alternative to Squeezing in One More Thing Before the Holidays The usual: The holidays can be a crazy time of year with parties, decorating, shopping, school events and other commitments. Sometimes another evening out can feel overwhelming. How to shake it up: Agree with your co-workers to celebrate the holidays in January, taking extra stress off everyone’s shoulders. Give your team something to look forward to that will re-energize everyone after the New Year. MARGARET H. GREENBERG and SENIA MAYMIN, Ph.D., are sought-after executive coaches, speakers and positive psychology practitioners, and the authors of the book Profit From the Positive. Find more information about their coaching and certificate programs at ProfitFromthePositive.com.

Podcast Work

How to be Happy at Work with Chris Libby

Most adults today spend more time on the job than anywhere else and receive from it not just monetary rewards but also the feelings of accomplishment and purpose necessary to good mental health. Live Happy magazine section editor Chris Libby joins the podcast to share how mindfulness, gratitude, compassion and more can help boost your happiness at work. What you'll learn in this podcast: How to manage stress levels at work What you can do to combat negativity in the office The impact gratitude and compassion can have on your coworkers Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Learn more about the Live Happy at Work Wellness Program

Podcast Work

Live Happy at Work – Content Packages

Live Happy offers customized content packages to serve your specific needs. Our battery of topics explored by expert teams deliver science-based, real-world facts and applications that enhance employee well-being and foster personal happiness that spills over into their work. Our customizable training and content packages can include: Training presentations and curriculum (materials for in-house training or featuringLive Happycontributors, writers, researchers):Since Live Happy has relationships with positive psychologists and researchers all over the world, we have been able to consolidate this research into 6 key practices that lead to a life and career filled with happiness and meaning:Attitude, Connection,Engagement & Mindfulness, Resilience, Meaning and Accomplishment. Each practice will be thoroughly but simply described with “action items” for each one—easy practices employees can do to start working their happiness muscle. Customized content:We can supply custom creative content for your email newsletters, company intranet, social media accounts and on-board trainings! We have articles, quizzes, video and audio interviews on a wide variety of happy and wellness-based topics. Training videos:We have access to trainings from many of positive psychologies top experts from simple trainings on gratitude to more complex in-depth information on developing character strengths. Learn about resilience, grit and the power of giving back, and how these skills can affect your authentic happiness. Let us customize a program specific for your company. Podcasts:Our#1 new and noteworthypodcastis educating, enlightening and entertaining. We can develop specific podcasts for your select audience, even interview your internal experts on how you promote happiness in the workplace. Many of our work- related podcasts come with digital work sheets that ask you to do actions after the training. Digital and/or print subscription toLive Happymagazine:Our award-winning magazine weaves the science of positive psychology through inspiring features, relatable stories and sage advice. Each issue is filled with content to assist and teach anyone how to develop a happier life. We also create a unique digital edition version of each issue that is mobile friendly and interactive. Videos:Happiness is a skill and can be taught, tracked, stretched,incentivizedand improved. Our partnernCourageoffers a series of short-form “how to” and “facts” videos that work on mindset conditioning in under 10 minutes a day. This easy, step-by-step improvement program uses stories and mental triggers that will help individuals create the happiest, most successful lives possible. App:Achieving a healthy state of physical fitness doesn’t happen overnight, so why would developing a positive mental lifestyle be any different? Consistency is the key. With theFeed Your Happy™ app, you can use the built-in reminder system to regularly condition yourself to deliberately, consciously focus on what’s going right in your life and participate in activities that strengthen your happiness skills. Illustrated quotes:We have a database of over1000 illustrated quotesthat we can customize with your brand. Annual employee participation event:In 2012 theUnited Nations established March 20 as the International Day of Happiness. Live Happy has created the largest awareness campaign of any organization and celebrates by posting giant orange Happiness Walls in cities across the United States during a month-long social engagement called #HappyActs. See what we’ve done! Visithappyacts.org.

work

5 Ways to Spark Joy at Work

In Marie Kondo’s best-seller, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, she asks us to place our hands on each thing we own and then ask ourselves, “Does this spark joy?” From our T-shirts to our teacups, from our books to our pocketbooks—if the item sparks joy, keep it and store it in a place that’s accessible. If it doesn’t spark joy, Marie advises we get rid of it. Now, imagine if we asked ourselves this same question—does this spark joy?—when it comes to our jobs. For some of us, work and joy in the same sentence may seem like an oxymoron, but it doesn’t have to be. Ask yourself these questions: Where do you gain meaning? What at your work leads you to do your best? Where do you have joy? As executive coaches and authors of Profit from the Positive: Proven Leadership Strategies to Boost Productivity and Transform Your Business, we believe your job can spark joy for you. When we asked people we were coaching or have coached what brought them joy at work, here were the top five responses: 1. HELPING OTHERS Be it solving a customer’s problem, coaching an employee or collaborating with a teammate. “There’s nothing better than helping someone to reach their full potential and then watching them shine!” What can you do? Lend a helping hand. Don't ask, “Can I help?” Instead ask, “How can I help?” Offer your guidance not only for work that needs to be accomplished but also for career advice. 2. GIVING AND RECEIVING RECOGNITION Whether it’s giving positive feedback to colleagues or receiving it. “The icing on the cake would be that my work is appreciated and valued by others.” What can you do? Recognize co-workers for a job well done—it not only brings them joy and boosts their productivity but also makes you feel good. 3. MAKING FRIENDS Building relationships with people at work: “Colleagues who have become friends” and “people who care about your well-being and your work.” What can you do? Connect with people you enjoy. Seek out people who fill you up rather than those who drain your energy. 4. FEELING A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT Making a difference by “delivering on a commitment that meets or surpasses the customer’s expectation,” and “creating something bigger than myself.” What can you do? Recraft your job. Recrafting means any change—large or small—you can make that allows you to use your strengths even more. 5. WORKING WITH A TEAM “Joy is being on a team that has a common mission and everyone is giving of themselves to accomplish the same goal.” What can you do? Look for opportunities to collaborate with others, even if you work remotely or solo. And remember, if no joy can be found in your current job, it’s time to put on your explorer’s hat and see what else is out there. Life is too short not to find joy at work. MARGARET H. GREENBERG and SENIA MAYMIN, Ph.D., are sought-after executive coaches, speakers and positive psychology practitioners. Find them at ProfitFromthePositive.com.

work

Live Happy at Work

Live Happy is the only resource dedicated to making the science of happiness understandable, relevant and actionable to the everyday consumer. And given that most adults today spend more time on the job than anywhere else and receive from it not just monetary rewards but also the feelings of accomplishment and purpose necessary to good mental health, Live Happy is dedicated to boosting happiness in the workplace. To that end, we have developed a cost-effective program for to easily convey the key practices that directly lead to true fulfillment and a life of meaning—all based on decades of scientific research conducted by positive psychologists and researchers around the world. Our battery of topics explored by expert teams deliver science-based, real-world facts and applications that enhance employee well-being and foster personal happiness that spills over into their work. Email usto create a custom package for you or to arrange to receive one ofour existing packages. Our customizable training and content packages (click for pricing) can include: Training presentations and curriculum (materials for in-house training or featuring Live Happy contributors, writers, researchers): Since Live Happy has relationships with positive psychologists and researchers all over the world, we have been able to consolidate this research into 6 key practices that lead to a life and career filled with happiness and meaning: Attitude, Connection, Engagement & Mindfulness, Resilience, Meaning and Accomplishment. Each practice will be thoroughly but simply described with “action items” for each one—easy practices employees can do to start working their happiness muscle. Customized content: We can supply custom creative content for your email newsletters, company intranet, social media accounts and on-board trainings! We have articles, quizzes, video and audio interviews on a wide variety of happy and wellness-based topics. Training videos: We have access to trainings from many of positive psychologies top experts from simple trainings on gratitude to more complex in-depth information on developing character strengths. Learn about resilience, grit and the power of giving back, and how these skills can affect your authentic happiness. Let us customize a program specific for your company. Podcasts: Our #1 new and noteworthy podcast is educating, enlightening and entertaining. We can develop specific podcasts for your select audience, even interview your internal experts on how you promote happiness in the workplace. Many of our work- related podcasts come with digital work sheets that ask you to do actions after the training. Digital and/or print subscription to Live Happy magazine: Our award-winning magazine weaves the science of positive psychology through inspiring features, relatable stories and sage advice. Each issue is filled with content to assist and teach anyone how to develop a happier life. We also create a unique digital edition version of each issue that is mobile friendly and interactive. Videos: Happiness is a skill and can be taught, tracked, stretched, incentivized and improved. Our partner nCourage offers a series of short-form “how to” and “facts” videos that work on mindset conditioning in under 10 minutes a day. This easy, step-by-step improvement program uses stories and mental triggers that will help individuals create the happiest, most successful lives possible. App: Achieving a healthy state of physical fitness doesn’t happen overnight, so why would developing a positive mental lifestyle be any different? Consistency is the key. With the Feed Your Happy™ app, you can use the built-in reminder system to regularly condition yourself to deliberately, consciously focus on what’s going right in your life and participate in activities that strengthen your happiness skills. Illustrated quotes: We have a database of over 1000 illustrated quotes that we can customize with your brand. Annual employee participation event: In 2012 the United Nations established March 20 as the International Day of Happiness. Live Happy has created the largest awareness campaign of any organization and celebrates by posting giant orange Happiness Walls in cities across the United States during a month-long social engagement called #HappyActs. See what we’ve done! Visit happyacts.org. Email us to create a custom package for you or to arrange to receive one of our existing packages. Remember Happier People make a positive impact on your bottom line More than 30 years of scientific research and experience demonstrates time and again that when companies invest in building and maintaining a happier workforce they enjoy competitive advantages such as: Stronger financial performance—Studiesshow that happier corporate cultures enjoy significantly lower turnover and better financial performance than industry peers. Increased innovation—Employees and teamsare willing to take risks. Mistakes and missteps are treated as valuable learning experiences—conflicts are resolved better and faster. Higher customer, client and patient satisfaction—Employees understand how their actions impact the organization's success andby extending themselves they ensure customers have a good experience. Greater brand recognition—Employees and customers have increased brand loyalty dueto positive interactions, leading to, more recognition for the company and its productsand services. Attracting and retaining top talent—Employees who are given tools to shape their own happiness develop deeper trust in the places they work, stay longer, refer quality candidates and spread the word to potential hires. Increased agility and speed—Employees and leaders in happier workplaces engage in more meaningful and efficient two-way communication, leading to better adaptability, lower resistance to change and faster speed to market.

Reading

Can Mindfulness Work on Your Waistline?

I’ll admit I was skeptical when I began reading The Joy of Half a Cookie: Using Mindfulness to Lose Weight and End the Struggle with Food. If the book had been called “The Joy of Half an Avocado” or even “The Joy of Half a Slice of Cherry Pie,” I wouldn’t have been so dubious. But who can eat half a cookie? Still, Jean Kristeller, Ph.D., the author of the book, is not to be dismissed lightly. A professor emeritus of psychology at Indiana State University, she is the creator of the NIH-funded Mindfulness-Based Eating Awareness Training (MB-EAT). She’s been studying meditation and people’s experiences around physical hunger, fullness and the pleasures of taste for decades. Part of what has driven Jean has been her own issues around compulsive overeating. While most of us would not mind losing a few pounds, my motivation in reading this book wasn’t primarily weight loss. Rather I wanted to learn how to hit that sweet spot of satiety: enjoying every bite of what I’m eating without crossing the line to being overly stuffed. I wanted to avoid food hangovers: the grogginess, lethargy and headache that I experience after a night of too much sugar, fat and salt. An introduction to mindful eating You won’t find a list of forbidden foods, daily menu plans, calorie counts or recipes in this book. What you will find are the tools that help you “tune in to your own hunger experiences” and begin your journey toward mindful eating. The starting point is the “Keep It Off Checklist.” (You can download the checklist at MB-EAT.com.) This helps you recognize where you are today in your relationship with food, guides you to make small shifts toward “a more mindful style of eating” and to “notice and celebrate your growing self-awareness.” By filling out this checklist weekly, you’ll document how often you eat mindfully (“I stopped eating when I noticed I wasn’t tasting the food as much”), as well as those times when you’re eating without awareness (“I overate after feeling upset about something”). The Joy of Half a Cookie is filled with practices that will help you make healthier choices around food with fewer struggles. Here are two key exercises: Be mindful of physical hunger Pick a time of day when you’re likely to be somewhat hungry; say, a few hours after your last mealtime. Follow your breath in and out bringing your awareness to your body. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being as hungry as possible and 1 being not at all hungry, assess your hunger. Now, consider the physical sensations that led you to the number you chose. A feeling of emptiness? Stomach growling? Lightheaded? Be aware of other triggers that may be fueling a desire to eat or a specific food craving. Are you anxious or blue? Are you sitting in a restaurant or at your kitchen table? In front of the TV? Over time, with exercises like this one, you’ll be able to tell the difference between physical hunger and other urges to eat, like stress or boredom. Then, Jean says, “you’ll be able to use this information to help you decide whether to eat, how much to eat, and whether to continue eating.” Cultivate taste Choose a chocolate food that you like but isn’t your absolute favorite; say, supermarket brownies rather than the to-die-for ones from your favorite bakery. (If you’re one of the rare people who doesn’t like chocolate, pick another snack food.) 1. Place a medium-sized brownie or large cookie in front of you. 2. Cut it into four or five bite-sized pieces. (Four Hershey’s Kisses can work, too.) 3. Close your eyes and relax with a few deep breaths. 4. Opening your eyes, place a piece of chocolate in your mouth and chew it very slowly, savoring the taste. 5. Continue to eat the small pieces of chocolate slowly and mindfully. Pay attention to when the flavor and satisfaction begin to decline. After the fourth piece, decide whether you want to continue eating. 6. If you do decide to eat another piece of chocolate, ask yourself why. Are you still finding the chocolate pleasurable? Or, are you “chasing the flavor, seeking to experience the first bite that is no longer in your mouth”? As you cultivate taste awareness, you’ll likely find that the fourth or fifth bite isn’t nearly as satisfying as that first bite. That’s because, Jean says, “our taste buds are capable of experiencing and registering flavors fully for only a short period of time.” If you carefully pay attention, she says, you’ll be surprised to find how quickly “taste satiety” sets in and satisfaction drops. Last night I tried a slightly different experiment with two small scoops of vanilla ice cream, which I ate slowly and mindfully, topped with strawberries and fresh mint. Instead of heading to the freezer for seconds, as I’m usually tempted to do, I placed my bowl in the dishwasher with no regrets and no guilt. Shelley Levitt is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles and an editor at large for Live Happy.

work

Americans Set Record High for Engagement at Work

Employees in the United States reported a record level of engagement at work in March at 34.1 percent, the highest since the research company started polling the topic daily in 2011, according to Gallup. Overall, employee engagement has been on an upward trajectory since 2013. While this may offer a glimmer of hope for the American workplace, 49.5 percent of workers polled are still “not engaged” and 16.5 percent are “actively disengaged.” Billions lost because of low engagement Ed O’Boyle, one of Gallup’s Global Practice Leaders, said in a webinar on employee engagement earlier this year that $1 billion is spent on engagement programs every year trying to figure out how to keep employees happy and satisfied with their jobs. “Those efforts are falling short and, based on our estimates, it is costing us immense amounts to our economy,” Ed says. “In the United States, we think it is a half-trillion dollars (annually) in lost productivity, creativity and innovation.” Engagement = productivity + happiness at work According to Gallup’s research, employers and employees alike benefit from an engaged workforce. Engaged workers are more likely to show up for work, are more enthusiastic about the work they are doing and had about 37 percent higher overall well-being compared to actively disengaged employees. This can lead to an increase in productivity and customer satisfaction, which in turn can lead to profitability and success for the company and an opportunity for financial success for the employees. What are some ways companies can make sure they have engaged employees? Gallup says: Employees need to know what is expected of them They need opportunities to learn They need to know their opinions count They need to believe in the mission of the company Jon Clifton, managing partner with Gallup, says that people will quit higher paying jobs for lower paying positions that offer more purpose and the opportunity to use their strengths. He added, “the single most driver to a life well lived is one’s purpose in life, and most people manifest their purpose through their jobs.” Chris Libby is the section editor at Live Happy magazine.

work

33 Ways to Be Happier at Work

1. Commit a random act of kindness for a co-worker every day. 2. Watch Working Girl. 3. Take a five-minute meditation break. 4. Read Real Happiness at Work by Sharon Salzberg. 5. Write down three things you love about your current work situation. 6. Fact: Individuals who are flourishing at work are more productive. 7. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”—Confucius 8. Listen to “Roar” by Katy Perry. 9. Meet a friend for lunch instead of eating at your desk. 10. Read Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being by Martin E.P. Seligman. 11. Watch Jerry Maguire. 12. Smile. Right now. Even if nobody is looking. 13. Set five work goals you’d like to accomplish this month. 14. Fact: Cheerful workers earn 30 percent more than their less cheerful counterparts. 15. Read Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide by Caroline Miller. 16. “Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”—Theodore Roosevelt 17. Read Take Your Soul to Work by Erica Brown. 18. Post positive images (or pictures that make you smile) in your workspace. 19. Watch Erin Brockovich. 20. Fact: Individuals with a positive work identity show high levels of flourishing. 21. Listen to “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor. 22. Enroll in a seminar on a topic you find interesting. 23. Fact: Happier workers make better decisions. 24. Read Flourishing in Life, Work and Careers by Ronald J. Burke. 25. Gather a team of co-workers and sign up for a Habitat for Humanity project. 26. Listen to “Welcome to Wherever You Are” by Bon Jovi. 27. “This is the real secret in life—to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”—Alan W. Watts 28. Fact: Employees who score high in the area of life satisfaction receive higher feedback ratings from customers. 29. Take a break at least once every 90 minutes to stretch and get away from your desk. 30. Read The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work by Christine Carter, Ph.D. 31. Watch Joy. 32. Mentor a younger co-worker. 33. Fact: Workers who are engaged and flourishing are more likely to participate in pro-social activities. Paula Felps is the science editor for Live Happy magazine.

work

Making Motivation Work

Every year we resolve (yet again!) to exercise, lose weight, or find a new, more lucrative or satisfying job. This time we are sure to succeed, we tell ourselves. Despite good intentions, however, we often lose motivation and end up right where we started—or perhaps even further behind, as we have disappointed ourselves by dropping our goals. We wonder what went wrong. Barry Schwartz, professor of psychology at Swarthmore College and a leading researcher in the science of human behavior and decision-making, suggests that rather than a lack of motivation, it may be flawed thinking that is getting in the way of our success. The paralysis of choice In his latest book, Why We Work, the best-selling author dispels common behavioral myths and once again emphasizes that often “less is more.” The more choices we are confronted with in life the less effective we are at making them, Barry says. We often become stressed and suffer subsequent “paralysis from analysis.” In one of Barry’s studies, customers who were offered a choice of six varieties of jam purchased a jar more often than those offered a choice of 24 types, leading him to determine that, when it comes to choice, the less we have, the more motivated we are to take action. We also feel better about our decision because we don’t feel like we are missing out on the thing we didn’t choose, Barry says. Less is more Less is more when it comes to our motives, as well. Contrary to popular belief, having two reasons or motives for doing something isn’t necessarily better than one. In fact, Barry says, “two reasons may be worse than one” and can kill the natural joy we feel in doing a certain activity and decrease our chances for success. This finding was a revelation to me. As a child, I had a strong affinity for gymnastics. I performed cartwheels and back handsprings non-stop because it brought me sheer joy! However, that changed after I joined a competitive team. My focus turned to potential medals. Practice suddenly seemed arduous and I lost interest in my beloved hobby. Where’s the joy? What happened? According to Barry, the competitive goal of winning a medal turned my hobby into a chore. Having the additional motive (medals) canceled out my internal motivation, which was joy. “Paying people or giving them awards for activities they would do on their own weakens these internal motives, and the pay doesn’t compensate,” says Barry. He explains that “little kids who get awards for drawing become less interested in drawing, and draw worse pictures, than kids who don’t.” So how can we apply these findings to our own goals? Focus on one thing at a time. Forgo trying to tackle a huge list of goals or changes. Instead, focus on just one (or two) and give it your full attention. You’ll feel better knowing you succeeded with your chosen goal(s), rather than dwelling on those you didn’t accomplish. Find your motive. Ask yourself what is your main motive for a resolution and keep that in mind. For example, perhaps you enjoy your regular exercise routine. Focus on how that makes you feel rather than finding another reason to exercise. However, if your exercise already feels like a chore, adding a goal can help. Set many short-term goals along the way to your final goal. Break up big projects into smaller, more manageable steps you can take each day. It will prevent you from procrastinating and feeling overwhelmed. Having a sense of daily accomplishment, regardless of how small, will likely keep you motivated, increasing your chances for success. Equipped with the right tools, you’re more likely to succeed! Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and her husband James Pawelski will be presenting at the Embodied Positive Psychology Summit (April 26-29th) at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts.

work

How to Survive a Workplace Bully

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, many adults spend more time at work than we do with our families. With so many hours spent at work, one would hope the time would be filled with relative peace and happiness—that we would be surrounded by friendly co-workers in a supportive environment, and that productivity and good relationships would be a priority. Sadly, that is not always the case. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, at least 27% of American adults have experienced bullying at some point. Workplace bullies almost never resort to physical violence—they use psychological and verbal attacks in order to gain a sense of power and cause emotional trauma. Typical bullying behaviors, according to the Institute, include verbal abuse; threatening, intimidating or humiliating behaviors; and work interference, including sabotage. What workplace bullying looks like Victims of workplace bullies often find that they are impacted both at work and away from work. Bullies have the unique ability to get under their victims’ skin in a way that is hard to shake off. Often even the most positive and emotionally healthy person will find him or herself feeling defeated, angry and even helpless. Victims can become depressed, anxious or suffer from lack of sleep. Psychologist Noreen Tehrani, Ph.D., wrote Managing Trauma in the Workplace after conducting research that showed bullying creates similar psychological and physical symptoms to those of soldiers who have returned from combat overseas! Interestingly enough, the targets of workplace bullying are not typically passive, insecure people who are inexperienced or new—much like we might see when we are talking about a school age bully. Instead, workplace bullies prefer to target employees who they see as a threat: someone who is competent, well liked and experienced. Their goal is to attempt to intimidate and gain power over the person in order to feel better about their own insecurities. How to handle the workplace bully As adults, bullies tend to be more subtle and passive-aggressive than the schoolyard variety. They are often driven, powerful individuals who at their core have similar emotional issues as child or teen bullies. They may behave this way out of low self-esteem, insecurity and a need to feel powerful by bringing others down. My experience as a therapist has taught me that it can be ineffective to try to get the bully to change unless he or she wants to change. As a result, my advice focuses on what the victim can do for him or herself. If you are being bullied at work and for whatever reason you need to stick with your job, you must focus on protecting your emotional state and preventing this person from emotionally and psychologically impacting you. 1. Do not let the bully impact your well-being. While it is natural to be rattled, hurt and angered by your treatment, it is important that you not allow the bully to take your emotional power away. Focus on the positive things in your life. Remind yourself that the fact that you are being treated badly does not have anything to do with who you are as a person. Redirect your emotions by doing things you enjoy that are away from work. 2. Distance yourself both emotionally and physically, if possible. It is important for your well-being to limit your interactions with anyone who is bullying you at work (or anyone who brings negativity into your life, for that matter). If you are forced to be around that person, limit the time you spend with him or her as much as possible and tell yourself to emotionally disengage. The less time and energy you invest in your relationship, the better. If you are in a frequent work relationship where you cannot disengage, consider talking to your manager about the situation or going to the Human Resources department for help. 3. Give back to those you feel deserve your time and energy. When you are feeling besieged at work, one way to increase your sense of well-being and self-worth is to give back to a worthy cause and remind yourself that you are a powerful positive force in this world. Donate to a favorite charitable organization or volunteer to help a friend with a challenging project. Then focus on the good you are doing to help offset the negativity coming at you at work. 4. Lean on your support system. When a person treats us in a way that is unkind, we often have a tendency to retreat and isolate. From a psychological point of view it is important to do the reverse: Bring people you love and care about closer, spend time with them, call them on the phone, and share your story and let them lift your spirits. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what city you live in, or where you work—you’re bound to encounter toxic people who treat others in a cruel and demeaning way. Since it’s nearly impossible to change these folks, your goal should be to minimize the impact they have on you. Make a pact with yourself that you will not let the bullies bring you down! Stacy Kaiser is a successful Southern California-based licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is an editor at large for Live Happy, and the author of How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know.

Try These 5 Better Ways to Celebrate at Work

How to be Happy at Work with Chris Libby

Live Happy at Work – Content Packages

5 Ways to Spark Joy at Work

Live Happy at Work

Can Mindfulness Work on Your Waistline?

Americans Set Record High for Engagement at Work

33 Ways to Be Happier at Work

Making Motivation Work

How to Survive a Workplace Bully

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