Girl hugging her puppy

Puppy Love

Walking with her dog Laurel along the frosted mountain trail as it curves through the Vermont woods, massage therapist Jody Higgs signals the dog to “come” and “wait.”Still a puppy at 10 months—but, at 90-something glorious pounds, close to her mature weight—Laurel lopes happily to Jody’s side, stands at the tips of her hiking boots and looks up expectantly. This is a training run, and Laurel knows it.“Down,” Jody says firmly. “Stay.”Laurel lies down and for 10 minutes the two quietly listen to the ravens overhead, the occasional crack of an old tree branch, and the rustle of frosted leaves as a small woodland creature moves around outside its burrow.“It’s almost like a standing meditation for me,” says Jody later as the three of us meet along a backcountry road near the trailhead. “Dogs intensify our connection to nature.” They notice everything, and draw our attention to the small sounds, earthy scents and transient creatures we might otherwise miss.As if to prove Jody’s words, Laurel, now on a lead, dances along the road’s edge, sniffing everything and looks for a tree stump on which she can gnaw— probably to test her new molars.“She also gets me out of bed in the morning,” adds Jody, as the dog pushes her curious nose under a juniper. “When I wake up, I’m sort of grumpy and pessimistic, and I don’t think clearly. Then Laurel and I go for a walk.”Jody shrugs, a little embarrassed, and offers a grin. “I don’t know what it is,” she adds, “but when I get back, it feels like I can deal with things. Things are clearer. And I’m in a better mood.”The 10-Minute FixClearly Laurel’s magic. But she does far more than just connect Jody to nature or get her up in the morning. As Rebecca Johnson, Ph.D., director of the University of Missouri’s Research Center for Human-Animal Interaction points out, researchers have discovered that the interaction between dogs and their humans triggers a series of chemical changes that increase our sense of wellbeing.In fact, several studies have revealed that within 10 minutes of gazing deeply into a dog’s eyes or petting a sweet little bundle of fur, there are neurochemical changes in the brain. “We get a burst of oxytocin, prolactin, dopamine and endorphins,” explains Rebecca, “which are all chemicals that help us feel happy and allow us to relax.”It’s actually something of a neurochemical free-for-all for both dog and human—and it makes your dog as happy as it does you. And it’s good for your health. In fact, some studies suggest that living with a dog reduces the symptoms and severity of clinical depression, while others have found that it boosts your immune system, reduces blood pressure and lowers your heart rate.The effect is so powerful that the chief cardiologist at one British hospital literally prescribes a dog for men who have just had a heart attack. And he’s found that the chances of a second heart attack in these men are cut by a whopping 400 percent.Dogs also help you maintain an active lifestyle and a healthy weight, adds Rebecca, who co-wrote the book Walk a Hound, Lose a Pound. Which is something Jody Higgs can verify. “I’m getting way more exercise than I was before I got Laurel,” says the trim Vermont woman. “I used to walk once a week, but now I walk for at least an hour every morning.”Building a Lifelong BondFor you and your dog to enjoy a life that brings each of you love, joy and a steady diet of happiness, you need to begin building a lifelong bond on the day that you bring your dog home. Here’s how to do it:Give daily belly rubs. If you have four feet and a furry undercarriage, nothing brings more pleasure than to roll over on your back and have your human gently rub your chest and belly. It’s an excellent way to start the day, and you feel nothing but love for the human who understands that important fact.Build trust. Meet your dog’s needs, says dog trainer Deb Helfrich, director of training and certification for Therapy Dogs of Vermont and founder of GoldStar Dog Training in Stowe and Fairfax. A dog that’s regularly fed, stroked, groomed, played with, and walked will learn to trust you.Learn to speak dog. Study your dog so you know how he or she shows fear, happiness, sadness, excitement, anxiety—the full range of emotions. If you’re not sure what you’re seeing, says Deb, check out doggonesafe.com and learn the signs. You can also sign up for an online course that helps you figure out appropriate responses, or you can get tips from a local trainer. Go to apdt.com for a listing of trainers in your area.Learn together. Obedience training, agility training, freestyle dog dancing, therapy dog training—whatever it is that the two of you learn together will, as you steadily work together, set the foundation for a lifelong relationship.Play together. Grab an old sock for tug-of-war, bounce a tennis ball off the house, hurl a Frisbee across the yard. Help your dog explore his interests with one-on-one attention. No puppy cousins or human brothers allowed. Just the two of you doing something that makes you both feel good.Never use physical punishment. Ever.Walk. Just as that walk around the block after dinner settles you down after a hectic day and lifts your mood, it does the same for your dog, says Rebecca. Shared together every day, it sets the tone for a feel-good relationship.Work through challenges together. When Rebecca adopted Madison, an English setter rescue, the dog came with a lot of little issues, plus an inclination toward aggression. Rebecca enrolled her in 16 weeks of private obedience work, which helped the dog become obedient but didn’t affect the aggression. But Rebecca kept trying. And after working with Madison through several approaches, she eventually found a trainer who was able to reach the dog. Madison became a different dog, and she found her place in the family. And the bond she and Rebecca built as those challenges were confronted is the foundation of a solid relationship today.ELLEN MICHAUD, Editor at Large for Live Happy magazine, is an award-winning writer who lives high in the mountains of Vermont. She has written for The New York Times, Washington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, Readers’ Digest, Ladies Home Journal and Prevention Magazine. Her book A Master Class: Sensational Recipes from the Chefs of the New England Culinary Institute and Ellen Michaudwas named one of the top ten cookbooks of the year by NPR.
Read More
Wording Well done on gray sticker notepaper.

The Value of Feeling Valued

One high performing sales rep told us, “If I weren’t reporting to Carmen, I would have answered that call from the recruiter.”We got curious. What was it about Carmen that made him want to stay? He continued, “I could have gone to our main competitor and made 20% more, but I didn’t. Why? Because I know Carmen appreciates what I do. She values my ability to bring in business. She makes me feel like I’m important to the success of this company. I’d do just about anything for her.”Carmen is skilled at a valuable technique we call FRE – frequent recognition and encouragement. In a previous blog post, we show that giving out FRE can lead to a 40% increase in team productivity.Here are three things you can do at work (and even at home for that matter) to increase people’s feelings of being valued:Tell people “thank you”Say, “I appreciate the extra effort...” or “I appreciate the thorough steps you took to….” Just saying “good job” doesn’t work. People don’t know how to replicate “good job.” When you say “good job,” they may think you like how they brought a team together for the project, but you may be referring to the speed with which they turned the project around. Psychologist Carol Dweck of Stanford University has found that person-praise such as saying “you’re smart” or “good job” can lead to feelings of helplessness over the long term. Why? Because that person may give up when he realizes he will not be able to complete a “good job.” When giving a compliment, be specific. Use process-praise and describe the process or strategy used to deliver such great results. Specific behaviors can be replicated. When Carmen gives a FRE to her sales rep, she describes specifically the strategies he used to deliver the great results.Be genuineThere is a concept in psychology called “absent presence.” It’s what happens when you dial in to a conference call, put the call on mute and check your email. It’s when you’re standing next to a friend and are completely immersed with your smartphone. We all can tell when someone is physically present, but not “really” there. A recent study at Google found that recognition delivered in person was more meaningful than in an email. Be sure to convey your sincerity by stopping whatever else you are doing when you express your positive feedback.Give FRE freelyBe on the look out for opportunities to provide positive feedback to your peers, teammates, boss and customers. Don’t be stingy. Turn FRE into a daily habit.Remember, feeling valued is a basic human need. Throwing more money at people isn’t going to make them feel more appreciated, but giving them FRE will.Margaret H. Greenberg and Senia Maymin, Ph.D.​ are organizational consultants and executive coaches. You can find more information at www.ProfitFromThePositive.com.Their new book isProfit from the Positive: Proven Leadership Strategies to Boost Productivity and Transform Your Business(McGraw-Hill Professional, 2013).
Read More
Business with a big head showing two thumbs up.

How about a little friendly debate?

"You are awesome, so smart, and everything you think is completely right."(Ummm...can that guy be my new best friend?)While it feels great to have others constantly confirm that our beliefs about life and the world are right, we already know that can be bad for us in the long run. Well, what might not be so obvious is that the same holds true when it comes to our news consumption.As more of us turn to the web as our main, if not only, source of news, the breadth and depth of our newsdietoften decreases. We can be attracted to websites and stories that back up our existing theories, echo our social and political views, and make us feel strong and right. John F. Harris, editor in chief of Politico.com, toldThe New York Times, "Everybody in the audience is his or her own editor based on where they want to move their mouse." Our news selection is often times less practical than it is emotional.Choosing news programs, networks, and websites that simply express some version of what we already believe can have negative consequences. How do we expect to solve anything without understandinghow the other side thinks and feels? Albert Einstein said it best: "No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it." Plus, what happened to being challenged? Expanding our minds? How about a little friendly debate?Follow these simple steps the next time you get your news online to help expand your mind:Be aware of the collective.Do you only read the articles listed under "Most Read" or "Most Emailed"? Go beyond that to know what other news is out there.Surf a site with an opposing slant.Check out an op-ed from someone on the other side of the issue. If you don't agree with it, now you might at least have a better sense of why.Try to see the other side.Even if you disagree with the overall idea, sometimes there might be aspects of it that resonate with you. Either way, it is a good chance to practice open-mindedness.Enjoy the debate.Get together with a friend who has different views ongovernmentbailouts, gaymarriageor some other hot button issue and have a debate. Fight fair as you work to present your point and practice actively listening to theirs. It can be a great way to connect.Take a break from the water cooler.Yes, thosegossipstories about celebrities can be entertaining, but make sure to get a balanced diet of news including top stories, health and other topics important to everyday life.Building awareness about our news consumption habits can foster deepermindfulnessabout how we think about issues and our world. Plus, who knows, we might discover something new about ourselves in the process!This post originally appeared on thePsychology Todaywebsite on July 21​, 2010.
Read More
Volunteer with Issa Trust Foundation takes a girl's blood pressure.

Voluntarily Happy

Diane Pollard’s job in financial services paid well, but sitting behind a desk to improve the company’s bottom line left her marginally fulfilled. “I was scared that I had only so many years left of living,” Diane says. “I thought, Wouldn’t it be sad to always take but never really give something back?”A seasoned volunteer, Diane had long recognized the satisfaction she received from helping others and desired to find similar work full-time. A family trip to Jamaica provided the impetus. When a major accident forced Diane’s bus to detour into the hillside, Diane was unknowingly en route toher destiny.“The bus stopped in a town, and a young boy emerged from a two-room humble abode wearing just underwear,” Diane recalls. She waved as the youngster approached the bus and raised his tiny arm to press his hand against the glass opposite hers. “I’ll never forget how his eyes locked on mine,” Diane recalls. “He really wanted to see us and to be seen.”Cold Calls; Warm HeartHaunted by memories of the little boy and consumed by a desire to alleviate the poverty she’d seen, Diane contacted numerous Jamaican agencies seeking a humanitarian partner. Finally her cold calls led to a warm heart: Alex Ghisays, a public relations director at Couples Resort. Diane and Alex worked together via emails, with Alex relaying needs and Diane mailing much-needed medical and educational supplies. As others began to hear about Diane’s efforts and wanted to help, Couples Resort founded the nonprofit Issa Trust Foundation, dedicated to improving health and education for needy Jamaican families. Today as Issa’s president, Diane works full-time with numerous volunteers. Programs vary from week-long medical initiatives focused on pediatric medical and vision care to educational measures, such as a recent donation of 10,000 books, 1,000 of which went to a school serving underprivileged kids with just a 61 percent literacy rate.“I feel so fortunate that my volunteer work led to living my dream,” Diane says. “It’s an experience that really gives that inner happiness. It’s fulfilling and humbling and contagious.”Give—and ReceiveVolunteering takes time and energy—both precious commodities. But there are also huge dividends. Those who give back have a chance to connect positively with people, gain new skills, find meaning in their life, even improve their mental and physical wellbeing. (Studies show that those who willingly give reduce their stress or depression, while also lowering their risk for Alzheimer’s and heart disease.) In fact, volunteers are among the happiest people in theworld.That doesn’t surprise fourth-year pharmacy student Kelsey Bayliss, who recently experienced the benefits of volunteering with Issa. She had heard positive things about the organization from her preceptor, so when her school offered rotation experiences in other countries, she simply thought: Why not give it a try? The experience proved life-changing. As Kelsey’s medical team saw nearly 900 children in five days, she witnessed firsthand how badly the kids needed medical resources and how grateful the parents were. “I have never feltas empowered and fulfilled as during my time volunteering in Jamaica,” she says. “I don’t think it’s even possible to put into words how much that experience changed my way of thinking, way of living and future career asa pharmacist.”The mere realization that her skills and knowledge could make a dramatic difference was huge for Kelsey. “It’s something I didn’t think about or feel before, but now I’m excited knowing that I will continue work like this the rest of my life,” she says. “If I can’t donate time, I’ll donate knowledge and resources.”There were character-building lessons, too, such as learning to be more grateful and to rethink things that were previously deemed important. Kelsey also learned the virtue of patience. “Seeing hundreds of people wait for hours without anyone complaining was humbling,” she recalls. “Here at home, we’re antsy if we have to wait 10 minutes for a meal in a restaurant or we’re stuck in traffic. Now I wait and think, This isn’t so bad.”Already looking forward to returning again, Kelsey is simultaneously amazed and enthused by the experience. “Volunteering gives a pure inner feeling of happiness and joy knowing that you can make a difference,” she says. “I don’t think it has anything to do with recognition or how much that you’ve helped, but just knowing that someone’s life is better because of you.”Staying GroundedBlaine and Jenny Moats were no strangers to volunteering when they traveled to Jamaica with Issa. Jenny, a social worker-turned-real estate agent, looked forward to engaging in humanitarian work again. Blaine, a photographer who was invited along by fellow shooter Brent Isenberger (both men’s pictures accompany this story), simply wanted to share his talents. “I had been asked to do something similar in Haiti for a different nonprofit years earlier,” Blaine says, adding that he almost didn’t go that time because Jenny had just lost her job due to funding cuts. “But I went. And when I came back I said, Oh yeah, we’re going to be OK. When I see how much we have compared to what they have, it’s pretty hard to worry.”For the Moats, volunteering with their two young daughters keeps the family grounded. “The way I look at things, I don’t want to get too stuck inside myself,” says Jenny, who has introduced her daughters to giving back in ways as experiential as sleeping outside on a chilly Midwestern night to raise money and awareness for the homeless. “I want the kids to see that their life isn’t what it’s all about. There are other people who have different problems and issues.”Though the girls did not accompany Blaine and Jenny on this trip, they pored over Blaine’s pictures, watched the videos and listened to the stories. “I think the volunteer work is reflected on them, and they have very caring hearts,” Blaine says. “When you give back to others, that’s where the happiness comes from. That’s important for us to teach our kids.”While Blaine downplays the importance of his role compared to that of the doctors in Jamaica, he found satisfaction in using his talents and seeing the results of the team’s work. “Some of the kids came in looking pretty limp in their mom’s arms, and then they walked out with a big smilea few hours later,” he says. “That’s pretty cool.”For her part, Jenny painted fluoride treatments on children’s teeth. One interaction with teenage girls who were helping her treat their younger sibling’s teeth left a particularly strong impression. “They were pretty cute, and I asked what they wanted to do when they were older,” Jenny says. “One didn’t know, so I said Well, maybe you could be a dentist since she was painting the teeth. You never know how what you say might change someone’s course of life, but it’s good to always keep thatin mind.”Talent to GoWord of mouth convinced nurses Kerri Cook and Sue McConville that joining Issa’s medical team would be the perfect volunteer opportunity to utilize their skills and passions. “If you’re able to do something you love where help is needed, that makes it fun because it interests you,” Sue says. “But it’s also very, very rewarding.”Finding a satisfying volunteer fit also ensures that you’ll want to continue. Case in point: Kerri recently returned from a third trip; Sue just finished her inaugural trip and is eager to go again. “It is awe-inspiring,” Kerri says. “Being able to help people who really need the help gives me that ‘ahhh’ feeling. It makes me feel so good to help others who need it so much.”Among the lessons learned, Kerri and Sue say they’re more grateful than ever before. “We have no idea how blessed we are,” Kerri says. “I saw people come to the clinics at six in the morning and wait patiently for hours with never a complaint.” Attending to the children, the nurses were also reminded that basic health care is not a given. “I spent three and a half hours helping clean and bandage the open wounds of a girl with severe eczema,” Kerri says. “That struck me because it’s such a simple treatment in the U.S., but they didn’t have the resources to treat her, and she could have died.”The experience has impacted the women’s professional life, as well. “It makes me a kinder person and more compassionate in my nursing job,” Kerri says, noting that she now summons the same feeling of satisfaction that she had in Jamaica by reminding herselfthat being a nurse makes a difference here, too.Sue agrees. “I’m so grateful to have a job, car and house,” she says. “I don’t stress about the little things anymore after what I saw. I don’t think they’re very important.”Instead, she focuses on positive little things she can do daily to help others—things like donating books to a literacy program, bringing an elderly neighbor a meal or chaperoning a school field trip. “The last day in Jamaica I was kind of sad because I was thinking “OK, where can we go tomorrow to help?” Sue says. “Then I realized, I can tap into those positive feelings by giving back wherever I am.”LuAnn Brandsen is a home and garden writerand former editor of Country Gardens and Country Home. Her work can be found in Elegant Homes, Décor, Country French, Cottage Style and Tuscan Style.
Read More
Bryce, Tiny Sparrow Photography

A Picture of Hope

Cancer is a scary word, but that diagnosis can also be a catalyst to discovering courage with a purpose. In 2007, Lidia Grigorean learned she had stage 4 breast cancer. During gruesome months of chemotherapy, radiation and a double mastectomy, she developed a greater appreciation for life along with a new perspective. She had always loved photography but had never attempted to pursue it professionally. That is, until death was knocking at her door. “When you have cancer, there is an unexplainable courage that comes to the surface,” Lidia says. “I did not care about anything else but to follow my dream.” She made a vow to help people if and when she got out of the hospital. Once her cancer was in remission her lifelong passion turned into a pursuit of giving back. She volunteered to photograph Kate McCrae, a 5-year-old girl battling brain cancer. It was Kate’s photo session that inspired Lidia to create the nonprofit Tiny Sparrow Foundation. Her logo design is a tribute to Kate, and the organization’s mission is to provide photography free of charge to families with children facing a terminal illness. The foundation creates a custom-printed memory album for the family as well as donates a CD of images with full copyright permission. Thanks to a network of more than 400 professional photographers nationwide who donate their time and talent, Tiny Sparrow continues to grow and inspire year after year. “You are not promised tomorrows with the people you love,” says Lisa Routh, a Picture of Hope recipient. “Now, no matter how rocky this road gets, we always have these amazing photos as memories to hold onto. Mary Beth Thomsen is a marketing professional,freelance writer and blogger from Richmond,Virginia. She has managed campaigns fornational brands such as the American DiabetesAssociation and Susan G. Komen for the Cure.
Read More
2013-2014 drawing in sand on beach

The Year of Happiness

New Year’s Day is a symbol of fresh starts and new beginnings. Now that 2013 is choking on a dust cloud in our rearview mirror, we can focus on the road ahead. Begin yourYear of Happiness today and make a dedication to yourself. Happiness is contagious and when you are happy, those around you are happy and those around them become happy. We are here to help, so every month in this Year of Happiness we will share ideas, tips and fun things to do to keep you inspired and motivated. Each month will carry a different theme starting with January being a month of hope. Shane Lopez, a leading researcher on the psychology of hope and the subject of the story “The Hope Monger” in the latest issue of Live Happy magazine, says that hope is believing that the future will be better and backing up that belief with action. Wishing isn’t enough, you need to have a strong plan to get you there. From his studies, Shane has found that hopeful students earn higher grades and hopeful workers are more productive. January is a perfect month to start your plan of action on your new year of happiness. We hope the pages of our magazine and our website will give you the tools and supplies that you need as you travel down your path.
Read More
Shane Lopez holding a bunch of red balloons

The Hope Monger

Shane Lopez was a few years into his research on hope when he found himself feeling pretty close to hopeless. He had awoken on July 4, 2003, with a piercing headache, and though he kept his plans to go with his wife to a neighbor’s holiday barbecue, the pain kept getting worse throughout the afternoon and over the next few days. “There was this incredible pressure, not just in one part of my head but all over,” he says. Shane, then 33, thought he might be experiencing his first-ever migraine, but when he developed a fever of 104 degrees, he realized, he says, “something’s not right.” A battery of medical tests pointed to a surprising diagnosis: West Nile encephalitis. There were about a dozen cases of West Nile virus in Shane’s resident state of Kansas that year, including three deaths. Shane escaped the worst fate, but he would spend the next year incapacitated. “I went from being this very eager, ambitious, high-achieving person,” he says, “to someone who couldn’t walk halfway around the block.” He experienced extreme arthritic pain in every joint, slept 18 hours a day and was forced to take a leave from the University of Kansas, where he was a professor of psychology and counseling. Shane spent the few hours he was awake in his favorite chair in the attic. At 5 o’clock his wife, Alli, would get home from work and sit in the chair next to his. “She would talk to me about what our life would be like together when I felt better,” he says. “It wasn’t about the horror of my pain and fatigue that day, it was about starting a family together, my doing work I was passionate about and our taking a trip to Europe. She’d paint these vivid images of the two of us riding scooters through the Italian countryside. There were times when I felt that I wasn’t going to get past being sick and infirm. But Alli pulled me forward into a different future.” Her hope was contagious and curative. It would be a full year before Shane went back to work and several more years before all his symptoms abated, but the images that Alli had summoned did come to pass. Hope matters.Hope is a choice. Hope can be learned. Hope can be shared with others." In 2004, they took a trip to Italy, France and Switzerland and, yes, rode scooters. A few weeks later they discovered Alli was pregnant. Today, living in Lawrence, Kan., they are the adoring parents of an 8-year-old son, Parrish, and Shane is one of the world’s leading researchers on the psychology of hope. A senior scientist with Gallup, he was the chief architect of the Gallup Student Poll, an annual online survey that measures hope, engagement and wellbeing among middle-school and high-school students. He does hope-raising programs not only with kids but also with bankers and mayors, corporate executives and health care professionals. He wrote a book, Making Hope Happen: Create the Future You Want for Yourself and Others, to spread his message to a broader audience: Hope matters. Hope is a choice. Hope can be learned. Hope can be shared with others. Shane is happy to call himself a hope monger, and he wants you to be one, too. How Hope Became a Vocation Shane didn’t start out as a hope researcher. Intelligence—something that can be measured with the hard-edged precision of IQ points—had been his area of investigation as a postdoctoral clinician with the Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kan. But as he worked with patients who were spinning out of control because of health, relationship or financial problems, something became very clear to him: Intelligence was overrated. “When I met people who were very smart but overwhelmed by life, I realized that intelligence has very little to do with coping,” he says. “It has very little to do with happiness. It has very little to do with general success in life.” What mattered more, he observed, was what Emily Dickinson called “the thing with feathers that perches in the soul”—and what his mentor Rick Snyder, one of the pioneers in the field of positive psychology, described as a life-sustaining force that is rooted in our relationship with the future: hope. “How we think about the future—how we hope—determines how well we live our lives,” Shane says. Why Optimism and Wishes Aren’t Enough To understand what Shane means when he talks about hope, it’s helpful to begin with what he doesn’t mean. Hope is not optimism. You’re optimistic if you believe the future will be better than the present, which turns out to be a nearly universal belief. Nine out of 10 people polled by Gallup across 142 countries expect their lives in five years to be as good or better than their life today. But looking at life through rose-colored glasses is itself a passive activity. Optimism is merely an attitude. Hope, on the other hand, is belief plus action. You’re hopeful, Shane says, if you believe the future will be better than the present and that you have the power—and multiple plans—to make it so. Hope is not wishing, something Shane dismisses as “mental fast food.” Daydreaming about the perfect job, the perfect mate, the perfect home can create a feel-good buzz, but it’s fleeting. “Hopes are sustainable,” he says. “Wishes are not.” Swap warm and fuzzy wishes for robust, action-driven hope and you reap powerful payoffs. Hopeful students earn a grade higher in final exams than their less hopeful peers with an equal IQ; workers who are hopeful are more productive—by about an hour a day—than not-as-hopeful colleagues, whether they’re closing loans at a mortgage company in the U.S., fixing engines at a Swiss factory or working an assembly line in China. Hope is protective, first responders who are high in hope suffer less psychological distress, and it’s strongly linked to a sense of meaning in life. Does hope lead to happiness? Not by itself, Shane says. But it’s hard to be happy without it. The Hope Shortage Among our Children We are suffering from a hope deficit in the U.S., Shane says, and nowhere is this more evident than among our children. For the last five years the annual Gallup Student Poll has been measuring hope among fifth through 12th graders. The online survey consistently shows that America’s youth is strongly optimistic: almost all—95 percent—believe they will have a better life than their parents. But there’s a considerable hope gap. Just over half— 54 percent—of the 600,000 students who participated in the 2013 survey are hopeful about the future, agreeing that they will graduate from high school, that they energetically pursue their goals and that they can think of many ways to deal with problems. The rest are what Shane calls “low hope” kids. “It’s shocking to me,” he says, “that half of the children out there don’t have excitement about the future, don’t have the sense that they can really be the agents of their own lives.” Shane and his colleagues don’t yet understand everything that’s behind this hope lag. But, he says, “What we know for sure is that students have more will than they have ways. What I mean by that is they’re incredibly confident that they can make the future better than their present, but they don’t have any good sense of how to make that happen. So, what they really need is for us to teach them how to turn an interest into a career into a real job or how to take some fuzzy warm feelings about someone and start a friendship. What kids lack the most are the ways to make good things happen in their lives.” Spending a day with Shane, as Live Happy recently did in Omaha, it’s easy to see his extraordinary capacity to connect his audience. Whether he’s sitting with a preschooler on his lap at the Children’s Museum in Omaha and guiding him through the interactive Fantastic Future Me exhibit, joking with a fifth-grader about his plans to run faster than Usain Bolt, or exhorting a group of high-school teachers to be their most hopeful selves so they can be effective purveyors of hope for their students, Shane’s message resonates. In teacher Pam Mitchell’s fifth-grade classroom at Paddock Road Elementary, Shane is coaching nearly two dozen 10- and 11-year-olds in how to go from “goal setting to goal chasing.” Alternately striding among the rows of desks and crouching down to be at eyeball level with the kids, he asks how they feel when they’re working on a goal they’re excited about. “Pumped,” one girl suggests. “Pumped! I loooove that word,” Shane says. The students offer more adjectives. “Positive.” “Motivated.” “Encouraged.” “Dreamful.” “You kids are great at this! When you’re working on a goal that you’re really pumped about, this is where hope happens.” Shane asks the kids to open their “hope folders”—one part of the hope-building project—pick the goal they’re most excited about, then write down two ways to make it happen. “Where there are ways there’s a will,” he says. In a message he also shares with corporate execs, he explains that having more than one action step can help you keep moving when you hit an obstacle. Next, Shane instructs the students to make a where/when plan—“this is an appointment with yourself”—on taking the first step to pursuing their goal. “We find exciting goals that our body and our heart tells us we’ve got to work on, and we come up with incredible ways to get to these goals,” he says. “And you know what happens? The day passes and then the next day passes and we run out of time to work on these goals. It happens to adults, too. Time slips away.” Kylee is picked to come to the head of the classroom and share her hope project. Her goal: help cure cancer. Her ways: join a team that’s already fighting cancer; make a list of ways to raise money. Her where/when: 11:30 on July 9, the day she turns 11, on the couch in her living room. Watching from the back of the classroom, Omaha’s Westside Community Schools district superintendent Blane McCann laughs, “Cure cancer? These kids just might do it!” Sustaining Hope Shane says that over time he has learned to be hopeful. And it continues, he says, to be hard work. “Being a hopeful guy is something I work on every day,” he says. He tries to surround himself with high-hope people—easy to do, he says, when Alli and Parrish are the two most hopeful people he’s ever met—and every day he looks toward the future and figures out what it is he’s most excited about. He has regular sessions with a “strengths coach” who helps him make sure his goals are aligned with his strengths. Shane doesn’t take hope for granted. What his childhood and his experience with West Nile taught him, he says, “was you have to have something to be excited about in the future; otherwise every day will be a chore.” The experience of hopefulness is unmistakable, he says. “When I’m at the height of hope I’m literally sitting on the edge of my seat,” he says. “My words are sharper and clearer and there’s this lightness, this uplifting feeling throughout my body. If you haven’t had that feeling in a good while, you have to re-learn it. And that’s the role of the most hopeful people in our lives. They can teach us hope.” Shelley Levitt is a contributing editor to SUCCESS magazine. Her articles on health, beauty and well-being have appeared in Women's Health, Fitness, WebMD and Weight Watchers magazines.
Read More
Karol DeWulf Nickell chatting with Gretchen Rubin.

New Friends Meet Here

One of my favorite things about being the editor of Live Happy is meeting people who care about happiness. From conversations with positive psychology expert Senia Maymin to talking with readers like you to a recent interview with Good News Broadcast’s Paul Sladkus, I encounter men and women who are smart, insightful, generous and good-humored about the subject.Meeting author Gretchen Rubin was no exception. Gretchen’s top-selling books, The Happiness Projectand Happier at Home, are well-known and loved. She, like her writing, is filled with life, curiosity and warmth. We spent a day together, along with photographer Michael Weschler and our camera crew, shooting our cover story about her at a studio in New York’s fashion district and at Central Park. Between wardrobe changes, lighting tests and cab rides, we talked about her journey from attorney to author, her upcoming third book, our shared Midwestern roots and our love of the roles of mother and sister. Whether you already know Gretchen or are meeting her for the first time, you’ll learn something new about “being Gretchen” in our feature written by Melissa Balmain.Connecting people who care about happiness is whatLive Happyis all about.”Another friend of Live Happy is Shane Lopez, Ph.D., Gallup senior scientist and author of Making Hope Happen: Create the Future You Want for Yourself and Others. Shane researches hope on a global scale, but he’s as comfortable talking to 4-year-olds as he is to government officials or corporate executives. (I think he may prefer it.) Our story follows Shane for a day in Omaha, where he played with preschoolers at his future-imagining exhibit at the Omaha Children’s Museum, then worked with a very special fifth-grade class of hope-filled youngsters and also spoke to high-school teachers who are incorporating hope into their curriculum. Writer Shelley Levitt and photographer King Au capture Shane’s buoyant personality and world-changing message.Connecting people who care about happiness is what Live Happy is all about. In every issue and on our website, we feature men, women and children who inspire us with stories of happiness, courage, hope and love. That certainly includes Gretchen and Shane, and they have lots of company. Be sure to visit us often, as this is where new friends meet.
Read More
no image found

Live Happy Magazine Kicks Off 2014, the “Year of Happiness,” with Issue Dedicated to “Hope”

Sharing Stories of Hope, Inspiration, and Happiness for the Year Ahead[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-MLqtdLwS0 width:525 height:394 align:center autoplay:0]DALLAS,Dec. 20, 2013–​Live Happymagazine, the recently-launched publication dedicated to promoting and sharing authentic happiness, debuts itsFebruary 2014issue on newsstandsDecember 31st, launching its "Year of Happiness" with an issue devoted to "Hope."The magazine, the first ever to balance the science of positive psychology with the art of application, launched inOctober 2013 with the goal of inspiring readers through education, integrity, gratitude, and community awareness. During a time of year when many are struggling to find genuine satisfaction among the bustle of a season that practically requires happiness and cheer, "hope" seems to be the most appropriate expression of the expectations for the year ahead. With its first issue of 2014,Live Happycontinues its mission to impact the world and motivate people to engage in livingpurpose-driven, healthy, meaningful lives."Connecting people who care about happiness is whatLive Happyis all about," says Editor-in-ChiefKarol DeWulf Nickell. "Our goal at the magazine is tofeature men, women, and children who inspire us with stories of happiness, courage, hope and love so we can share their messages with our readers."Live Happysat down withGretchen Rubin, author of several books, including the #1New York Timesand international bestseller,The Happiness Project—an account of the year she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. She discusses her upcoming paperback release ofHAPPIER AT HOME: Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon Self-Control, and My Other Experiments in Everyday Life, (Three Rivers Press; On SaleDecember 31, 2013) along with her journey from busy attorney to international best-selling author and happiness expert.Rubin, who became world-renowned for her happiness research and personal experiences, recalls the moment she decided to embark on her journey towards happiness: "As I stared out the rain-spattered window of a city bus, I saw that the years were slipping by. 'What do I want from life, anyway?' I asked myself. 'Well...I want to be happy.' But I had never thought about what made me happy or how I might be happier." Where does Gretchen find herself now? "My experience of my day has changed enormously because I've done so much to add enthusiasm and fun and enjoyment to it, and get rid of anger and boredom and resentment."Rubin finds herself in good company withShane Lopez, a Gallup senior scientist, one of the world's leading researchers on the psychology of hope and author ofMaking Hope Happen.In "The Hope Monger," Lopez discusses withLive Happyhow to make dreams come true by harnessing hope, and explains why he's on a mission to rescue hope from the mega-selling New Age self-help book,The Secret. We can, Shane says, "wish ourselves into failure," fantasizing about a great future actually saps your energy to get things done today because your mind reacts asif the goal hasalreadybeen achieved. Swap warm and fuzzy wishes for robust, action-driven hope and you reap a powerful payoff. Lopez shares why optimism and wishes aren't enough, offers positive steps for getting what we want out of life and explains why it all starts with school-age kids.The February issue ofLive Happyalso includes other personal experiences and guidelines for hope and happiness in the upcoming year:In "Making Family Time a Priority,"Tia Mowry-Hardrict, the former star of the television showSister, Sister, and current star of Nick at Night'sInstant Mom, shares withLive Happyhow she balances work and being a mom while keeping her family's happiness her top priority.Psychotherapist, author, and relationship expertStacy Kaiserexplains how 20 years of experience and numerous clinical studies have shown that hope can be a powerful driver for both mental and physical health in "Hopeful People and their Super Powers."Live Happyexplores the concept of "Going with the Flow." More than just an uplifting phrase, "flow," first defined by Hungarian-born researcherMihaly Csikszentmihalyi, describes the mental state in which people become so intensely involved in a specific activity that nothing else appears to matter, and is demonstrated by two American Olympic skiers who found themselves at the top of their game after getting "lost" in the flow.AsLive Happyprepares for the International Day of Happiness onThursday, March 20th, 2014, the magazine urges all its readers to share their#actsofhappinessand discover how tojoin the movement.About Live HappyLive Happy LLC, owned by veteran entrepreneurJeff Olson, is a company dedicated to promoting and sharing authentic happiness through education, integrity, gratitude, and community awareness. Headquartered inDallas, Texas, its mission is to impact the world by bringing the happiness movement to a personal level and inspiring people to engage in living purpose-driven, healthy, meaningful lives.Media Inquiries:Rachel AlbertKrupp Kommunicationsralbert@kruppnyc.com(212) 886-6704
Read More
Hiking couple - Active young couple in love.

Building Lasting, Loving Families

My wife and I just celebrated 18 years of marriage; we’ve been together for 23 years. We have a 9-year-old boy and a 6-yearold girl. If you do the math, we waited 14 years from the time we started dating before we had kids. That gave us a lot of time to get to know one another, tackle our issues, and have a glorious time traveling and doing what we love.My wife Jennifer was a manager in the music industry before she became a full-time mom, and I am a life coach. Philosophically we look at life the same way, which means that we agree on how we raise our kids, religion and most points in between. We even dog-ear the same page of a design magazine when looking at furniture or art—our sensibilities match. I am 17 years older (she says 16) than her, but most of our friends would say it’s the other way around; she’s way more mature than I.Jennifer is of Spanish decent; her mother was born in Barcelona, and she grew up in Los Angeles. I grew up in New York City. She’s private, I’m public; our age, ethnicity, environments, access and resources are all very different, yet philosophically we match perfectly. I have found that you can have very different influences and environments, but if your sensibilities match it can work. The opposite is true as well. For instance, you want to raise the children as Buddhists and your spouse wants to raise them Catholic, or one of you believes you should live for the moment and the other wants to build for the future. These situations usually end up with a push/pull, a struggle. It’s not that differences in thinking can’t contribute to one another and to the relationship, but if those differences are immovable, carved in stone or a part of your moral structure, they won’t allow the necessary “flow” in the relationship. We have friends who have entirely different approaches to what’s important in life than we do but they and their family are completely aligned—it all works.When we date we don’t spend enough time on those philosophical differences. We spend a lot of time on chemistry. We usually don’t have enough conversations on the front end, so when we ended up married with children, we found that what we believe and how we see life is very different. Chemistry is wonderful, but it also might not be the end-all for a lifelong commitment. We often hear how important it is to find your best friend, and I don’t think that can be overemphasized. If one’s criteria are chemistry, body, money, health…one thing you can be certain of is that those will change. And, if you based your silent vows (not the ones you said out loud) on those things not changing, once they do, there will be problems. The foundation is what endures.Jennifer and I have places in our marriage that each is accountable for, and we didn’t plan or strategize this—it evolved naturally. She is the visionary of the marriage, and I execute that vision. That means she determines where we are going and what it would look like. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to contribute to the direction, it just means that it worked out that way. She is accountable for the emotional development of the family, how to work through rejections, frustrations and disappointments with our kids. I’m accountable for their physical development, how they move in the world and take risks, that they know the difference between stupidity and risk when they’re jumping off the roof or climbing a tree. The accountabilities are clear —it’s whoever had the most credibility in the particular area. We go to each other’s strengths.Where one is anxious or has fear, there is little or no perception, so in a crisis we go with the one who has no fear: me. I make the money; she manages it. She likes to sleep so I make breakfast. In turn, she makes dinner. None of this was ever planned —all these compartmentalizations evolved quite naturally.People say that you must have compromise in a relationship. We don’t compromise; it is our pleasure to do for the other. Compromise indicates that you are doing something begrudgingly.Most relationships start off as a privilege and very soon turn into a right. We start speaking to each other as if we are owed something, and we expect something as opposed to the privilege it is to be with that person. We would never talk to someone on the first date the way we start talking to them three months later.Our difficulties and our upsets are usually quite universal and finite: money, health, career and relationship struggles. When your relationship isn’t fl owing, when the affinity has been compromised, it has a systemic effect that throws off all the other areas of your life. Men used to have a more effective way of compartmentalizing relationships and career, but that was mostly aberrant and inaccurate. Today that illusion has been shattered, and men are equally disabled when their intimate relationships are in conflict.There has never been a time in the course of human evolution that we look so closely at our intimate relationships. There are more books, literature, articles, dating sites and couples’ counseling, all in the service of being more connected, which leads to more sustainability and ultimately more LOVE.BRECK COSTIN has more than 30 years of experience as a personal consultant and life coach. As the founder of the Absolute Freedom seminars, he has helped thousands of people change the way they live their lives by breaking free from unwanted patterns of behavior. His compassionate yet direct style allows people to dismantle their illusions of self so they truly can see what is (and isn’t) possible. “Your fantasies must die,” he says, “for your dreams to come true.”
Read More