The purpose of life is to be happy,the Dalai Lama says. The keyto happiness is compassion. “If you wish to be happy,demonstrate compassion. If you wantothers to be happy, demonstratecompassion,” the 78-year-old Tibetanspiritual leader tells a packed audienceat Santa Clara University in the heart of California’s Silicon Valley.On thisday in late February, he recounts a storyfrom his early childhood in Tibet. Helived in a farming community and his mother would carry him on her back asshe went about her work. But he, too,had places he wanted to go and he wouldtry to manipulate her movements by pulling on one of her ears to turn right,the other to turn left. The memoryleaves the recipient of the 1989 NobelPeace Prize laughing out loud. Hismother’s love, he says, was the seedfrom which his own compassion grew.We are all born with that seed ofcompassion, he says, but in a worldwhere too many people are self-centered and materialistic, focusedon their own immediate grati fication,true concern for the wellbeing of others often fails to take root.Growing the seedOnly recently, he says, he was in a carpassing through a neighborhood inDelhi, India. People were hurrying from one place to another, and throughthe swarm of moving figures, he caughtsight of a disabled girl trying to walk, notwith crutches, but with two large sticksshe had found. He noticed her sunkeneyes, two orbs full of hopelessness. Noone was paying any attention to her,just sidestepping her briskly. It madehim sad, he says, and it supportedhis sincere belief that compassionmust be taught in society, must bepart of the educational curriculum.“Education, from kindergarten upto the university level, must include theteaching of compassion, the teachingof warmheartedness,” he says.And how do you teach someoneto have more regard for others?Exercising the compassion muscleJust as one can develop a strongphysical constitution, he says, onecan also train one’s mind and heartto be more aware of others.It’s a topic he addresses in An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life.He writes, “Initially, the positiveemotions derived from cultivating ourhigher natures may be weak, but wecan enhance them through constantfamiliarity, making our experiences ofhappiness and inner contentment farmore powerful than a life abandonedto purely impulsive emotions.”People typically think of thecompassion they feel or act on assomething that is good for the recipient,not necessarily something that bene fits them. But being compassionate isactually good for the giver, bothphysically and mentally. “Compassionbrings mental peace, mental comfort,”the Dalai Lama says. “If you justtend to oneself, you suffer more.”A more self-centered attitude leads tomore anxiety, more stress, he adds.In his 2007 book, How to See Yourself As You Really Arethe Dalai Lama writesthat the compassionate person is the “one who bene fits most directly sincecompassion immediately instills in you asense of calm inner strength, and a deepcon fidence and satisfaction ... Love andcompassion open our own inner life,reducing stress, distrust and loneliness.”Positive attractionAs long as we live in this world, he says, we are bound to encounter dif ficulties, but we can use these as opportunitiesto grow and improve our minds. How?By realizing our own suffering and paindon’t make us different or set us apartfrom others. Everyone suffers and facesproblems; everyone wants happinessand contentment.The understandingthat we are all in this together canhelp us develop empathy for others and a desire to remove their pain. Theresult, he says, is an increase in ourown serenity and inner strength.That sort of compassion takes a firm commitment, he says. It meansbeing compassionate toward people,even if they behave in ways that arenegative or disruptive. Whetherpeople are rich or poor, mean ornice, ultimately, they are all humanbeings who have a right to overcomesuffering and be happy. Having thisuniversal sense of altruism is noteasy, but by recognizing we are allequal in our desires, we can beginto feel responsibility for othersand help them actively overcometheir problems, he says.A garden of thought and actionWhen we engage in ordinaryconversations in our daily lives, wehave a tendency to steer away fromthose who speak harshly or withoutempathy, he says. But if a personspeaks with affection and respect,we are drawn to him or her, evenif the topic is unimportant.“We are living beings. Somepeople say even flowers grow betterunder positive words,” he says witha smile. “That I don’t know!”In The Art of Happiness,the DalaiLama writes that the best use of ourlimited time here on this planet is toserve other people and if not, to atleast refrain from harming them. “The purpose of our life needs tobe positive,” he writes. “We weren’tborn with the purpose of causingtrouble, harming others. For ourlife to be of value, I think we mustdevelop basic good human qualities warmth, kindness, compassion.Then our life becomes meaningfuland more peaceful—happier.”
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