Get your kicks on Route 66

You Can Still Get Your Kicks on Route 66

If you’re thinking about embarking on that great American road trip this summer, why not plan to motor west? Route 66, the fabled and storied road that winds more than 2,000 miles from Chicago to Los Angeles, is still oozing in Americana, with old-school motor lodges, burger joints and one-of-a-kind roadside attractions that your parents never wanted to stop at when you were a kid. Now that you’re in charge of the wheel, let the just-released Lonely Planet Route 66 Road Tripshelp you on your quest for kitsch. Here are a few of their recommendations: Wilmington, Illinois, is home to the Gemini Giant, a 28-foot fiberglass spaceman, who has been standing in front of the Launching Pad Drive-In since the ’60s. While you can no longer grab a hot dog and a pop from the recently closed restaurant, if you hurry, you can still get a selfie with the giant muffler man. The Munger Moss Motel’s neon sign in Lebanon, Missouri, has been drawing in travelers like moths to a flame for more than 50 years. Its legendary sign is always on—even through a Route 66 Corridor Preservation Program refurbishing in 2010. Further south, in the Texas panhandle city of Amarillo, is one of the most iconic tributes to America’s motor past: the famed, graffiti-covered Cadillac Ranch. What started as an art installation in 1974 is now a rite of passage for Route 66ers. If souvenirs are on the list, you’ll hit the mother lode of the Mother Road in Seligman, Arizona, which boldly claims to be the birthplace of the “Historic Route 66.” Stop by Angel and Vilma Delgadillo’s Route 66 Memorabilia & Visitor’s Center and pick up shirts, hats, signs, shot glasses and even mousepads for the gang. And if you aren’t allkitsched out, pop over to the Delgadillo’s Snow Cap Drive-In for burgers and shakes. After cruising 2,200 miles through America’s heartland, Route 66 ends at the beautiful Pacific Ocean in Santa Monica, California. Every great journey should end with a celebration, and the 106-year-old Santa Monica Pier is the place to party, with roller coasters, carnival games and a 1920s carousel that was featured in The Sting.
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Blissed Out With Alanis

Blissed Out With Alanis Morissette

Photo shoots are always exciting and one of the many reasons I love my job as an art director at Live Happy. Whether we are photographing a celebrity, a family at home, or an entrepreneur on the job, there are always colorful personalities and environments to capture on film—and a team of people behind the scenes that make it all come together.My last photo shoot was a highpoint for me personally. I had the opportunity to go to Los Angeles and be part of the team photographingAlanis Morissette for our August Live Happy cover.JLPI have been a huge fan of Alanis since her debut album Jagged Little Pill was released in 1995. Her music and lyrics resonated when I was 18, and still do to this day. Although the subjects and focus of her songs have evolved over the years, I feel I’ve gone on the journey with her.My best friend Rachel and I used to drive to community college together every day back in the ‘90s; Jagged Little Pill (along with Dave Matthews Band and Beastie Boys) was our soundtrack for that ride—and for our late teens/early 20s in general. We would belt out the lyrics from “Ironic” ("It’s like Raaaaiiiiiinn, on your wedding day!"), as well as “All I Really Want,” “You Learn” and many others. Later I would put my hair up in “Alanis braids,” go to her concerts and soak up her free spirit. I probably looked silly but I didn’t care; she inspired me.Peace outAnother reason I think I feel such an affinity for her music is that we share a passion for yoga, spirituality and mindfulness.The album Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie also had a profound effect on me. It was more spiritual, the sound was different from JLP … it referred to India, gurus, and delved deeper into subjects like relationships, self-awareness and confidence: All things I could relate to in my life at that time. I was in a serious relationship with my soon-to-be-husband and trying to figure out who I was and what the rest of my life would look like after college.I thought I would try this yoga thing out, and Alanis was something of a guide for me in that direction, too. As years went by, I understood and related to her lyrics even more as I went on my spiritual journey. Some of my favorite lyrics from this album still move me to this day.“How bout me not blaming you for everything, How bout me enjoying the moment for once”“The moment I let go of it was the moment I got more than I could handleThe moment I jumped off of it was the moment I touched down”-"Thank U"Now I’m older and a parent, and I still love her music. What makes me smile most is when my 4-year-old Kensie asks to hear “You see Everything” or “It Figures” (Ironic). She also asks for “the softer version” of “You Oughta Know” (the acoustic version) which just makes me laugh because it’s not exactly the song you want your toddler listening to! Alanis’ music has definitely come full circle in my life.Back to the gardenThe hidden Los Angeles garden is filled with gorgeous flowers in bloom, providing the perfect backdrop for Alanis’s cover shoot. I’m a little nervous to meet my idol, but on set, she is just as self-aware, confident and calm as I thought she would be—as is her son, Ever, who joins her on set and is very sweet as he quietly explores the garden.Although we don’t get a chance to chat much at the shoot, I can sense that she is totally genuine and kind. She introduces herself to everyone personally, shaking our hands, and is gracious and patient throughout the shoot. It seems that her lyrics come from a real place inside her—that in a way I already knew a part of her.I feel so grateful for this experience and so lucky to have met one of my favorite musicians. This was a meaningful moment for me, and I hope our readers find her presence in our magazine as magical as I do.Thank U, Alanis.Read more about what Alanis Morissette is up to at the present moment here.
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Bob Bowman and Michael Phelps: Everyday Excellence

Michael Phelps’ Secret to Everyday Excellence

The most decorated Olympian of all time didn’t win 22 medals (including 18 gold) alone. Instead, swimmer Michael Phelps relied on his coach, Bob Bowman, to design the workload to help him make history. Consistent training, day in, day out Michael is naturally gifted, sure, but “what made Michael great,” Bob says, “is not his wingspan, his foot size, or anything else.” It was work. Consistent, hard work. Michael didn’t miss a day of training from the age of 12 to 18. “Were there days he wanted to? Yeah,” Bob says. “He just kept coming. And he kept getting better.” In fact, Bob says, the gains Michael made from training more than 2,100 days in a row “he’s basically used for the last 12 years.” According to Bob, developing that base and having the courage to face your insecurities and doubts are key to long-term success. “In a very short time, I can rush someone through to some [level of] performance,” he says. “If they don’t have the foundation behind it, it just goes away really quickly.” That personal best might be inspiring, but, Bob says, “perspiration comes before inspiration." Everyday excellence If you do something long enough, before long, you’ll do something good.” Then, once that foundation is established and you can’t do more work, you can do better work. Bob calls it “everyday excellence.” “It’s not about excellence every four years. It’s about how excellent are you right now, on a Friday afternoon. When you go to that practice at 5, how excellent are you going to be? Are you going to go through the motions? Or use this as a step toward your goals? That’s how it works.” Commit to your goal Bob says it’s the same for playing the piano, tilling your garden or losing weight. “Say you have a goal out there,” he says. “It means you’re going to change. You have to decide how important it is.” Then you have to start seeing yourself as someone who’s attained that goal, he adds. And commit to that vision every time you make a decision.
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Adam Shell, Nick Kraft and friends on the road in America

“Pursuing Happiness” Makes Its Debut

Nearly three and a half years ago, documentary filmmaker Adam Shell sent a mass email to the 500 or so people in his address book with the subject line “Pursuing Happiness.”“How have we lost our happy?” Adam asked. The United States, he noted, consistently ranks in the double digits in terms of the happiest nations in the world. Determined to uncover a less grumpy side of the country, Adam was embarking upon a journey “to document as much happiness as I can find in America. I want to experience happiness in the billions of different ways that Americans please themselves. It is my goal to document how happy our country really is and that there is more than one answer for finding happiness.”This morning that journey landed them a spot on the Today show, where they were interviewed by Maria Shriver:The happiness road tripThat journey took him and his producer, Nicholas Kraft, on a 6,000-mile road trip, from Los Angeles to New York to places like Dripping Springs, Texas; Tahlequah, Oklahoma; and Breaux Bridge, Louisiana. The pair conducted more than 300 interviews with both happiness experts and exceptionally exuberant Americans, resulting in nearly 400 hours of footage. Finally, last week,Pursuing Happiness premiered in Los Angeles to an audience of friends, family and cast members.“When we say we didn’t have a finished film when we set the date for this screening two months ago,” Adam told the audience, “we mean we didn’t have a finished film this morning.”An emotional nightIf Nicholas and Adam were exhausted by a sleepless night spent tinkering with the film, they were also exhilarated. “This movie has brought me so much joy,” Nicholas said during the screening’s question-and-answer session. “I never thought I was going to be so emotional tonight.”He wasn’t the only one tearing up. Nicholas and Adam’s quest to find America’s happiest people led them to Gloria Borges, a vibrant 28-year-old, newly married lawyer who, though undergoing treatment for advanced cancer, maintains a fierce commitment to happiness. “I don’t have 80 years guaranteed, and neither do you and neither does anyone,” she says in the film, “so make the most out of your life right now. Recognize what brings you joy and go get as much of it as possible.”And then there’s John Lawson, a onetime pianist who lost both hands when electricity surged through a pole he was using to paint a water tower. With hooks for hands, he went on to earn his scuba certification, become a pilot and raise his daughter as a single dad. “It never occurred to me not to do those things,” he said after the screening. “You don’t get over some things, but you get on.”"Happiness is a choice"The next day over lunch, still sleep-deprived, Adam and Nicholas say that if there’s one lesson to be gleaned from their film, it’s this: Whatever the circumstances of your life, happiness is a choice.“At any given moment,” Adam says, “we get to decide if we’re going to look at a situation with optimism or pessimism, with anger or with patience and understanding.”Happiness in actionTake that very morning, for example. With his wife out of town, Adam slept in and was trying to get his two very uncooperative kids, ages 3 and 5, out of bed, dressed, fed and in the car by 8:30.“My daughter was throwing a fit because I’d taken her iPad away, while my son was pretty much ignoring me,” Adam says. “I took a deep breath and thought, ‘I can run after them and scream, which is what I was starting to do, or I can shift my behavior.’ ”He decided to turn things into a game. “How fast can you get dressed,” he asked his kids. “Can you do it before I count to 30?” A few minutes later, Jack and Emmy were in their car seats and Adam was playing DJ.A culmination of years of workAs Adam tells this story, his cell phone and Nick’s ping pretty much continuously. They’re receiving a steady stream of texts from friends who saw the film and say they want to share it with their mother or father, a sibling, a boss, a spouse, a friend who’s going through a tough time. That’s the kind of chain reaction the two were hoping for.“People shared their stories and their energy with us, they fed us and they let us sleep in their homes,” Nicholas says. “We always wanted this film to be inspirational, to spark conversation and to act as a launching pad for something bigger than itself. ”Pursuing Happinesswill be premiering at the Newport Beach Film Festival later this month andwill be playing at the Sacramento International Film Festival next month. For more information about the Sacramento screening as well as future screenings, visit pursuinghappiness.com.
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No-Regrets-sized.jpg

3 Steps to a Regret-Free Life

Why did I eat that cake? I wish I’d taken that job. I never should’ve dated that guy. Have you ever had thoughts like that? Probably. It’s your brain’s way of telling you to rethink your choices. But sometimes, your brain gets stuck. What Do People Regret? I just discovered Bonnie Ware, an Australian writer who spent several years caring for dying people. She asked those nearing death if they had any regrets, and these are the top 3 they shared: I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself I wish I didn’t work so hard I wish I was brave enough to express my feelings That got me to thinking about the idea of regrets. Is there anything good about them? The good news It’s true, regrets can bring sadness or anger, but if you know how to get unstuck from those feelings, regret can actually inspire you to change and grow in positive ways. That’s what happened for actress and singer Pearl Bailey, a high school dropout, who became a college freshman at the age of 60. Pearl recalls, “I got up at the dinner table in Los Angeles and said, ‘Let me go to college. There’s one up the street.’” She began at Pierce College and later graduated from Georgetown University with a BA in Theology at the age of 67. From there, Pearl went on to write six books. I’ll have the chicken You see, if you’re lucky enough to have lots of choices in your life, then there are also lots of opportunities to regret things. Imagine if a waiter said to you, “The only food on the menu tonight is chicken, and I’ve already ordered it for you.” You wouldn’t regret your dinner selection because you had no choices. But most of us have the freedom to decide on things. Lots of things. Will you go to this college or that? Will you take this job or that? Will you stay with this lover or not? And at some point, you might wish you’d made a different decision. The question is: How can you turn your regret into motivation? Even inspiration? 3 steps to living regret-free 1. Reframe your story Instead of criticizing yourself for “that stupid thing I did,” remember that you did the best you could with the information and perspective you had at the time. It’s easy to judge yourself now that you have the benefit of hindsight or experience, but you didn’t have either of those when you decided to live on donuts and coffee, date the wrong person or pick your college major. As author Maya Angelou famously said, “When you know better, you do better.” 2. Retell your story To transform your regret into wisdom, here’s the biggest question to ask yourself: “What did I learn from this?” Allow every experience to become your teacher. Did you pursue a career you never wanted? Were you loyal to a boss that laid you off? What did you learn from that? Maybe you’ve discovered a growth-spot. Have you been too afraid to speak up, too willing to settle? Or maybe you learned that your most wonderful qualities, such as creativity or dedication, are best shared with those who value them. Then again, maybe you learned that no matter who you are, sometimes stuff just happens. 3. Rewrite your story You can’t change what’s happened in the past, but you can change the way you live today. Take your big, fat lesson and make it more than insight—make it a catalyst for transformation. What can you start doing today to redesign your present and your future, even if it’s only a shift of attitude? Maybe you’ll start trusting yourself more or stop trying to be perfect. Maybe you’ll get more sleep or look for a new job. The story is yours to write. It turns out regret has a good side. Although you can’t change the past, you can use it to motivate and inspire you toward a better future, just like Pearl Bailey did. For me, when I feel stuck, I follow the three steps above. Give it a try and see how you feel. You won’t regret it. Let us know how you've dealt with regret in life in the Comments section, below. This blog was originally posted on darlenemininni.com. DarleneMininniPh.D., MPH is the author of The Emotional Toolkit: Seven Power-Skills to Nail Your Bad Feelingsand creator of the UCLA undergraduate well-being courseLifeSkills.Tune in to hear Darlene speak about "The Science of Resilience" on our free podcast,Live Happy Now.
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Quiz: What's Your Relationship Mindfulness IQ?

When it Comes to Love, Are You Mindful or Meh?

Relationship mindfulness is a long-proven method toward improving our relationship happiness. In 2004, the University of North Carolina launched a study of “relatively happy, non-distressed couples.”The results of their study proved what experts have known all along: Couples who practice “relationship mindfulness” are happier, have less stress and have a better ability to cope during challenging times.Take our quiz to find out how mindful you are when it comes to your own relationship.1. In my relationship, I consider my partner's feelings when making a decision.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never2. If I need to discuss an uncomfortable subject with my partner, I am conscious of my behavior throughout the discussion.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or Never3. I can tell when my partner is not in a good mood.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never4. When my partner appears to be having a tough day or is in a bad mood, I attempt to inquire about what is wrong. A. Most of the time B. Some of the time C. Rarely or never5. When my partner appears to be having a tough day or is in a bad mood, I try to provide comfort.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never6. When my partner appears to be having a tough day or is in a bad mood, I make an effort to see if I can be helpful.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never7. When having a conversation with my partner, I do my best to focus on the exchange and try to avoid multi-tasking.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never8. When it comes to my relationship, I would consider myself to be present, mindful and aware.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never9. In times of stress or conflict with my partner, I take time out to think about how to best handle the situation before I react.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never10. When it comes to my relationship, I make an effort to avoid saying things that I might regret.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never11. I realize that my partner and our relationship shift and evolve over time; I try to adapt to those changes.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never12. I stay on top of what triggers me, stresses me out or makes me angry so that I can anticipate what might create conflict in my relationship.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never13. I am honest with myself about my relationship.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never14. I initiate bookend connections with my partner (the connections when I wake up in the morning and go to bed at night, and when I leave and arrive at home)A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never15. I focus on good communication with my partner, both verbal and nonverbal.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never16. I take time out to assess and understand my partner’s wants and needs.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never17. I realize that personal growth will help my relationship, so I work toward that goal.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never18. I know that I am not always the perfect partner, and so I acknowledge my mistakes when they happen.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never19. I make efforts toward deepening my relationship with my partner.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or never20. I make an effort to put my partner’s happiness on an equal standing with my own.A. Most of the timeB. Some of the timeC. Rarely or neverEvaluate your answersA'sIf most of your answers are ‘A’ then you are doing a great job at having a mindful heart in your relationship and you are successful at striking the balance between what is best for you and what is best for your relationship. You are able to assess and adapt to your partner’s needs and have the ability to find compromises for the greater good of the relationship. You are mindful of your partner’s wants and in return that should result in a more successful and happy relationship.B'sIf most of your answers are ‘B’ then you have either been mindful of your partner and relationship, or you are naturally gifted with some of those skills. It would be helpful to you and your relationship if you would carefully look at exactly how and when you are considerate of your partner’s wants and needs so that you can assess where your strengths and weaknesses are. For the areas of strength, pat yourself on the back. For the areas that need improvement, make more of a conscious effort to practice being more mindful in your relationship so that you can deepen your connection.C'sIf most of your answers are ‘C’ then you either lack the natural skills to be mindful in your relationship, or you haven’t put in the time or energy to improve your abilities in this area. If you were not aware of your imperfections in this area, perhaps you can invest more of your focus on being more aware and balancing what both you and your partner want and need. If emotional distance or resentment has been the cause of your lack of mindfulness, then make an effort to bridge the emotional gap and diffuse the tension by trying to engage in more of these connecting activities.Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book, How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, and an editor-at-large for Live Happy.
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Alanis Morissette Enjoys the Moment

Alanis Morissette Savors the Moment

Alanis Morissette has had several “phoenix rising from the ashes” moments in her life.Perhaps the most significant was right after giving birth, when she suffered from postpartum depression. “I think postpartum depression often affects—not always obviously—but often affects women who were in one mode of operation. In my case, [I was] very career-orientated, very work-addicted. And so when I gave birth to my son, and frankly when I got married, it was a huge sea change.”She continues, “I was attempting to live the equivalent of 14 people’s lives all in one human body, combined with the hormonal underpinnings. My temperament is highly sensitive, combined with this high novelty or high sensation-seeking element to it. So often I would feel like I had my foot on the brake and the gas pedal at the same time,” Alanis says."Pretty blissed out"She credits the happiest moment of her life to giving birth to her son, Ever Imre, in 2010. She describes it as a “pretty blissed out, oxytocin-riddled moment.” To her, raising a child is about being as attentive as possible: “I just think mindfulness and parenting are the same thing. If we’re distracted or we’re barely there, we’re technically not parenting.”Alanis built a studio in her Los Angeles home so she could raise her child mindfully while also working on her passion and career. “For me, offering presence is commensurate to offering love,” she says. “Offering that to a child is the greatest gift of all.”Read a behind-the-scenes look at our photo shoot withAlanis here.For her, being a parent is akin to activism, in the sense that you’re making the world a better place by bringing new life into it. “It creates the foundation of what this planet will evolve into,” she says.Her husband, Mario “Souleye” Treadway, fellow musician and father of her child, joins her in choosing a mindful path—for parenting and all aspects of life. They met at a meditation gathering. “He came with a mutual friend of ours, and when he walked in I just thought ‘Wow!’” Alanis says. It stood out to her that “he was oriented toward really doing the brave inner work, the kind of inner work that isn’t always comfortable.”Musical beginningsAlanis started playing the piano at the age of 6, and, a few years later, her talent for music began to shine through. She wrote her first song at the age of 9, and, by age 10 she started acting on the Nickelodeon show You Can’t Do That On Television. By 14, she had signed her first major record deal, spending her early teenage years as a pop singer in Canada.Everything changesEven with early accomplishments, Alanis remained a go-getter; she packed her things and moved to Los Angeles to pursue her music career. That’s when her massive success came at the age of 19—Jagged Little Pill was introduced to the world. Alanis was almost immediately catapulted into fame: millions of passionate, loyal fans; sold-out concerts; traveling and performing week after week. People would come at her with multiple opinions about the direction of her music, fans were breaking into her hotel room, and she was recognized everywhere she went.“After the tour for Jagged Little Pill and that whole experience, I just felt like I grabbed the brass ring that I’ve been encouraged to chase my whole life, through culture and otherwise. And so there I was, everything was amplified, so if there was any underlying loneliness or unresolved wounds or traumas, from childhood, etc., they were all exacerbated."To read more of the feature about Alanis Morissette, including amazing insights and original photos, pick up the August 2015 issue of Live Happy magazine.
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Amy Van Dyken: A Potrait of Resilience

The Bounce-Back Effect

Challenges pop up every day, and you must figure out ways to go around or over them,” says Olympic swimming champion Amy Van Dyken. “You have to be a creative problem solver who looks three steps ahead.”Everything changedEverything changed for the six-time gold medalist on June 6, 2014. While driving her all-terrain vehicle (ATV), Amy tumbled over an embankment. The accident left her with a severed spinal cord and brain injuries. She made it through a potentially fatal emergency surgery but was left paralyzed from the waist down. Yet, true to form, her trademark positive spirit and humor never wavered.“I’ve always been funny,” she says. “The person you see now is the person I’ve always been. Even after my accident and major back surgery with multiple blood transfusions, I awoke talking and laughing. The doctor said jokingly, ‘I must be in the wrong room.’”Amy’s can-do attitude drove her to extraordinary success in her swimming career. It is also what motivated her to go from reclining in bed to sitting in a matter of days—a feat that can challenge the balance of some paralysis patients for weeks. She now drives around in her modified Camaro SS, which stands for “super-sexy,” she says. Her ability to focus on the positive in the face of trauma is far from extraordinary, experts say. Rather, resiliency is something we’re all born with—we simply have to develop it.No ‘ordinary magic’Cincinnati’s VIA Institute on Character says each and every person possesses 24 character strengths, the building blocks of resilience, to some degree. But it’s our “signature strengths” that form the cornerstone of our personal storehouses of resilience, says Ryan Niemiec, Psy.D, a psychologist and the institute’s education director.For example, people endowed with lots of perseverance “generally don’t see obstacles as obstacles,” he says. “They see these as opportunities…to learn…to rise to the occasion or…make the end goal that much more sweet.” And where some people prefer to rely on hope as they focus on the future and remain optimistic through the difficult times, others draw on bravery or depend on their creativity to brainstorm solutions to challenges.Resilience = Positive adaptationBecause of the complexity of its interaction with our other personality traits, Ryan prefers to call resilience “positive adaptation.” “This means that when a stressor occurs, [people] don’t cower away,” he says. “They also don’t turn to alcohol and drugs to avoid it, and they don’t spend time getting emotionally upset. Instead, they adapt in a way that is constructive and beneficial.”Ann S. Masten, Ph.D., has dubbed this type of adaptation “ordinary magic.” The University of Minnesota professor studied youth growing up in disadvantaged environments and concluded that most, despite the obstacles they face, turn out f ne. Her unexpected findings convinced her and other experts that resilience is the practical ability to combine skills such as problem-solving and self-control with caring relationships and social resourcesto recover from setbacks.Post-traumatic growthThat can lead us to achieve what experts call “post-traumatic growth.” Case in point: Drs. Steven M. Southwick and Dennis S. Charney found that 93 percent of the 30 former Vietnam prisoners of war they studied attributed their greater appreciation of life to being imprisoned. The authors of Resilience:The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges discovered that the POWs took a painful experience and made it meaningful by using it to readjust their priorities and self-perceptions. By doing this, they had internalized the belief that “I’ve been through the absolute worst, and though I’m vulnerable, I’m also much stronger than I ever imagined.”Read more about The Science of Post-Traumtic Growth.Learning through failureThe Vietnam POWs aren’t alone. Shannon Polly, MAPP, who has facilitated resilience training for more than a thousand U.S. Army sergeants, says, “Soldiers in World War II felt that surviving combat made them more resilient. Resilience is believing you can learn through failure.”Mark D. Seery, Ph.D., an associate psychology professor at the University of Buffalo, says research suggests that experiencing adversity “may have an upside—a silver lining—in that it may help foster resilience.”Amy is living proof of this. Despiteher upbeat attitude, she has mourned the loss of her mobility and still has tough days. “Every day she suffers from physical pain that she calls a ‘blanket of fire,’ ” says Elisa Persi, Amy’s close friend of 12 years. “She has some bad days, but still remains positive.”“It’s a big, huge deal—for me and my husband,” Amy says. “But I allow myself to have moments when I’m sad or angry, and then I move on.”The road to resilienceLike Amy, our personal journeys toward developing resiliency are as defined by our signature strengths as they are by our lifestyle choices. In fact, improving the quality of our overall health—through exercise, sleep, diet and relaxation—can help us rebound after a traumatic life event.“Research shows if you work with a trainer in a gym for three months, you have a better bounce-back from stress,” says Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., a George Mason University professor and researcher. “You build up willpower, stamina; your mind is better able to respond in a sophisticated way to challenges, and you’re more likely to have a white space between what happens and your response.”Repairing the brain, and the soulIn part, this is due to the brain’s lifetime neuroplasticity or cognitive flexibility, but studies also indicate exercise can repair damaged neurons, says Arun Krishnan, Ph.D., an associate professor at the University of New South Wales, Sydney.“Before the accident I was doing a lot of lower body work—squats, lunges,” Amy says. “Now I’m lifting weights and working harder than I did before the Olympics. It was hard just learning how to sit.”We also cope better when we don’t go it alone, Todd says. “[My friends] don’t let me mope,” Amy says. “They’ll come over and say, ‘Let’s go to the mall.’ They’re amazing.”Reaching out to othersAmy says she regularly reaches out to her network of friends and health professionals and is active on Instagram and other social media sites. And in January, she returned to her broadcasting career, calling a swim meet for Olympic hopefuls. “Seeking out others—being physically near and touching someone—is beneficial,” Todd says. “Military comrades say they feel a sense of love and contagious bravery.”However, Steven and Dennis caution that we’re not all on a level playing field when it comes to resiliency. As always, our genetics and environment affect who we are—and how resilient we can be.“People with social anxiety disorder, for example, don’t differ from [resilient people] in their number of stressful interactions,” Todd says. “[What differs is] they are unable to be in contact with their anxious thoughts. But we can train them to distance their thoughts…and function. Moving through fear is one way of being flexible.When you interview snipers, martial artists, actors and athletes, they all talk about feeling fearless. But they experience fear and are aware of it. They just know how to channel it.” And while our personal brand of resiliency may not manifest itself in the same form as Amy’s, experts say moving forward in the face of everyday setbacks, such as job loss or making mistakes, provides us with protection from depression and negative emotions.Bouncing forwardToday, nearly a year after the ATV accident that changed her life, Amy is grateful to be alive and to be a high-functioning paraplegic. She’s also discovered the lesson learned by so many others: Altruism can buttress resilience.For Amy, that means touring the country on behalf of the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation promoting spinal cord research. It has also meant founding her own nonprofit, the Amy Van Dyken Foundation, which provides patients with spinal cord injuries needed medical supplies not covered by insurance. Her appearance as the grand marshal in the 2014 Fiesta Bowl Parade alone raised $10,000 for her charity. Now, she has her eyes set on a new personal goal: to become an inspirational role model like fellow paraplegic Christopher Reeve.“He dealt with his injury with great dignity, and that’s what I want to do,” she says. And today, Elisa says Amy treats every day as a gift. “She doesn’t take things for granted anymore, and when things get rough, she uses perspective to realize that things could be worse.”“I truly believe I’m here for a reason,” Amy says. “I should be dead. Someone’s not done with me.”Janice Arenofsky is a freelance writer based in Scottsdale, AZ.
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Put Your Strengths To Work!

Put Your Strengths To Work!

Do you have the chance to do what you do best each day? Not just now and again. Not even just most days. But each and every day. Do you have the chance to do what you do best? Living up to our full potential I believe that there’s greatness to be found in each of us. I also believe most of us are living well below our potential and that the future of the world relies on us choosing to wake up each morning and doing what we do best – for the good of ourselves and others. But just how can you pull this off? Let’s face it: Often our job descriptions aren’t designed around our strengths, our bosses only seem interested in pointing out our weaknesses and we’re already too busy just trying to keep up. I get it. Back in 2007 this was my life, and finding the confidence—never mind the energy—to do what I do best each day felt like a dream I simply couldn’t afford. Until, I discovered that it took just 11 minutes of doing what I do best each day—of using my strengths—to finally create the career and life I longed for. How could this possibly work? The strength of curiosity Positive psychology researchers have discovered that developing your strengths —those things you’re good at and enjoy doing—helps you feel more confident, energized and happy in your job. So after figuring out what my strengths were by taking the free, ten minute VIA Survey it was clear that I was completely underplaying my strength of curiosity at work. Cue, routine, reward With neither the time nor energy to fit in one more thing, in desperation I decided to try and create a tiny daily strengths habit by using the neurological loop scientists have discovered of cue, routine and reward. In an effort to make my habit excuse-proof I decided to try applying this loop in just 11 minutes a day, so I could fit it in on even the busiest days. Here’s how it worked: I spent the first 30 seconds cueing up my habit by anchoring it to the daily act of turning on my computer. Then for the next 10 minutes I developed my strength of curiosity by reading one new positive psychology discovery about how to enable human flourishing and seeing if I could apply this to my team. To reward myself I’d use the last 30 seconds to note down what I learnt and each Friday I used to package these discoveries up and send them off in an email to my boss. Here's what happened next And do you know what? This tiny 11 minutes strength habit felt so good, that I did it the following week and each week after that. Until nine months—and 36 emails—later my boss called me into his office and said: “Clearly we’re not tapping into your potential. Would you like to teach these positive psychology techniques across our business?” And just like that my dream job was created. Here’s what I want you to remember, when you choose to do what you do best each day, even for just 11 minutes, others have the chance to see the potential in you. But don’t just take my word for it. If you’re ready to feel more confident, energized and happy at work then why not put this idea to the test by joining the free One Week Strengths Challenge and receive all the support you need to discover your strengths, design a small daily strengths habit and start doing what you do best each day at work. Just click here to find out more. Want more Michelle McQuaid? Listen to Michelle discuss the Strengths Finder Challenge on our free podcast, Live Happy Now.
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What's your happy place?

What’s Your Happy Place?

It’s where you go when you need a mood boost, a recharge, a fresh perspective. It’s a break from chaos, a retreat from uncertainty, a shelter from stress, a shot of vitality. It’s your happy place. The geography of joy varies. For the introverts among us, our happy place is where we can withdraw from other people and look inward. For extroverts, a happy place is nearly always well populated. Our sanctuaries aren’t always pretty in the scenic cottage-by-the-sea sense. And, one person’s harbor from the storm can feel like very rocky seas to someone else. Here, one Live Happy reader shares the place that has filled her with a sense of awe and a feeling of belonging since she was in high school. Eileen Anne Zyko—The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York City The first time Eileen Anne Zyko visited New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art was on a trip with her art history class when she was a high school junior. “I remember walking up the front steps and feeling the way some girls probably feel when they go to Cinderella’s castle in Disney World,” Eileen says. “I was totally transported.” More than 25 years later, she experiences the same thrill when she visits the Met today. “It starts when I’m taking the train from my home in New Jersey,” Eileen says. “I get that kind of bubbly feeling inside that I’m going someplace exciting. And when I walk off the street and through the museum doors, I still feel like I’m stepping into a place that’s full of magic and wonder.” A sense of calm On every visit, she heads first to the Temple of Dendur. Built on the West Bank of Egypt's Nile River during the reign of Roman Emperor Augustus Caesar about 15 B.C., the three-room temple was installed in the Met in 1978. “That’s how I prepare myself for the rest of the day,” Eileen says. “It’s like taking a shower before you dive into a swimming pool. Sometimes I’ll just sit and gather my thoughts. The temple has a sense of permanence that I find very calming.” Next, she heads to the American Wing Gallery and the living room of a home that was built by the architect Frank Lloyd Wright. (“I’ve often dreamed about being locked into the Met and having to stay overnight,” Eileen says. “If that happened, I would sleep in the Frank Lloyd Wright house.”) After that, Eileen stops at Van Gogh’s Self-Portrait with Straw Hat. “There was a time in my life when I also felt misunderstood and not appreciated,” she says. “For someone to be able to express their pain through painting is extraordinary to me. When I was growing up I couldn’t express myself very well. I was very good at school, but I’ve never been particularly creative." A sense of belonging "If you asked me what I liked or didn’t like, I couldn’t tell you. In high school, I was a scholarship student at a fancy all-girls boarding school, and I didn’t feel like I really belonged there. But I had an art history teacher named Sonja Osborn, and she changed everything for me. Art history became a magical way for me to understand and engage with the world.” We’d love to hear about your happy place! Let us know in the comments section, below. For more, look for the feature story on "Joyful Havens" in the August 2015 issue of Live Happy magazine. Shelly Levitt is a freelance journalist and editor-at-large for Live Happy. She lives in Southern California.
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