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Dare to Be Happy

Finding ways to curb our negative thoughts can allow more positivity in our lives. Just like dark clouds that can pass and let the sun shine through, happiness has a better chance of reaching us if the dark skies of negativity and depression have lifted.Not being depressed isn’t the same as being happy. At its core, transitioning into a more sustainable state of wellbeing involves a shift in our thoughts and feelings: fewer negative thoughts and more positive ones.Research has shown some interventions can help create greater resilience to negative states, while others can be used to enhance positivity. Some of the more intriguing options for reducing negativity are vitamin D and exercise—and one of the most effective ways to brighten your life is gratitude.Let the sun shine inMore than a billion people are vitamin D deficient. (That’s billion with a “B.”) Research shows there is a link between low levels of vitamin D and the symptoms of depression. However, the jury is still out as to whether or not low levels of vitamin D cause depression, or the other way around. Either way the chances are good you may not be getting enough of it.Vitamin D is unique because it is a prohormone, a substance that can be converted into a hormone. It does not have to be attained through food; it can be synthesized when the skin is exposed to ultraviolet radiation found in natural sunlight. Vitamin D then goes to the liver and kidneys where it is converted into a hormone. We can get it through sunlight, take it as a supplement, or find it in foods such as salmon, cod liver oil, milk or tuna. The trick is getting an adequate amount.Lack of vitamin D during winter months has been linked to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Vitamin D is helpful for many things, not the least of which in the absorption of calcium and phosphorous through the intestines (which is one reason it is used as an additional supplement with calcium). Some studies have found that increasing vitamin D can improve well-being, and others suggest it may be helpful along with an antidepressant.Ask your physician to test your vitamin D level. If it is low, ask about a supplement. Also, during the winter be sure to get a little more sunlight in your life.Born to runYou would have to have lived under a rock for the past 10 years not to have heard that exercise is good for you. However, what does exercise have to do with our mood?Exercise boosts a protein known as BDNF (brain developed neurotropic factor), which is the protein that helps neurotransmitters function more efficiently. Those neurotransmitters are the very ones targeted by antidepressants, which cause unwanted side effects. This makes exercise the most natural way of enhancing this protein.Dr. John Ratey, associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, describes BDNF as “Miracle-Gro for the brain.” Exercise is so effective the American Psychiatric Association has declared it both a stand-alone and an augmentation therapy for depression. Even moderate levels of exercise can be helpful because it enhances the effectiveness of neurotransmitters in your brain.How much exercise you need depends on your age and physical condition. Check with your healthcare professional to see what is recommended and start slowly. It is the regularity, not the intensity, which will help.Count on gratitudeLast, but certainly not least, are ways of directly increasing positive thoughts. The list of these interventions is growing, but few researchers would disagree that gratitude is one of the most powerful. In fact, the lead researcher on gratitude, Robert Emmons, Ph.D., calls it “queen of the virtues.”While the notion of “counting your blessings” has been around forcenturies, there are now some proventechniques that help to shift ourperspective. How we feel is determined by how we see the world. One of the most effective ways of restructuring our view is by reviewing our gratitude. A review of the last 24 hours of those specific events you have gratitude for has the power to reappraise memory by focusing on the positives.Gratitude, in this way, has the power to transform our perception authentically. We are highlighting real events in a way that casts our memory in a different light. As an example, yesterday may not have been a particularly good day, but when seeing it through the prism of gratefulness you are likely to find occurrences overshadowed by the day’s struggles.A friend’s email, refund check or thank you note received add up when acknowledged. Not only does our memory of the day shift toward something more encouraging, it also improves our attitude in the moment and offers a more optimistic outlook.How often should you do it? Theresearch is mixed, but a sure bet is to start with once a week.DanTomasulo holds a Ph.D. in psychology, an MFA in writing and graduated from the Master ofApplied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania (UPenn) in 2012. He teaches at New Jersey City University and is an assistant instructor for Martin Seligman, Ph.D., at UPenn in the MAPP program. Visit Dare2BeHappy.com.

Self-Care

7 Tips to Find the Silver Lining Within Yourself

The idiom “every cloud has a silver lining” is a beautiful image, representing an attitude of finding the positive in any situation, no matter how challenging it might be. It’s more than just believing that good things are to come, it’s an understanding that every negative might be reframed as a positive, depending on how you see it.The more scientifically minded will be happy to know that this is more than just word play—it’s the subject of some interesting recent research out of NYU. Dubbed “silver lining theory,” the concept holds that some 90% of people believe that their negative traits are actually strengths in disguise - and it’s that very belief that makes them work harder at developing that positive attribute.Read on see the silver lining within yourself, every day - no matter who you are.Shy = ReflectiveDo you prefer the company of a few close friends over a pumping party? Wait for someone else to speak before raising your hand? It could be that you’re shy—but that means you’re also reflective.Sliver lining: You take your time before rushing in with an answer, and like to think things over alone or with the people closest to you. This calm, contemplative quality can be further cultivated by writing, or by taking up a meditation practice.Disorganized = CreativeYour clothes are more at home on your bedroom floor rather than they are in the wardrobe, your bills live in piles on the counter and your inbox is overflowing - sound familiar? Sure, you could be a bit disorganized, but you’re also highly creative, and naturally see the beauty in the chaos of life around you.Silver lining: You know how to lose yourself in a creative flow - whether it’s visual art, writing, or decorating your apartment, and this flair rubs off on the people around you.Impulsive = SpontaneousQuick decisions are second nature to you, and plans tend not to sit quite so well. You buy presents on a whim, call old friends when they pop into your mind, and send emails without much of a second thought. Sure, many would call you impulsive - but they probably also love how spontaneous you can be.Silver lining: Saturday night and nothing planned—no worries! You’re always quick to come up with ideas for last-minute fun, and can rush to help a friend on a moment’s notice if needed. Embrace this flowy side of your personality; you’ll probably find that your loved ones really value it, too. Intimidating = AssertiveEver been called the “life of the party”? Chances are, people also find you intimidating from time to time, but that’s okay. Your strong, confident energy points to your assertive nature—and that’s something you can put to use in both your personal and your professional life.Silver lining: Along with standing up for yourself, you can use your strong, clear voice to speak up on issues close to your heart. Connect with other assertive personalities with these TED talks that spark social change.Irresponsible = AdventurousDo you often misplace your things? Forget to return phone calls? Maybe even miss a deadline here and there? You might be aware that you’re a touch on the irresponsible side - but it’s likely just because your head has already moved on to your next adventure.Silver lining: Being tied down isn’t really your thing as you’d rather be out exploring - in your hometown or around the world. Infuse a sense of adventure into everything you do—it’ll fuel your passion and bring out the silver lining of this personality trait.Stubborn = PersistentIf you know you’re right, you’ll never back down - and why should you? You’ve got a point to prove! This quality might aptly be labelled stubbornness, but it can also be seen as persistence if applied to something worthwhile.Silver lining: If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing properly—right? You can use your strong, dedicated force of will to tackle difficult projects head on and keep going until your goal is achieved. Looking for something to sink your teeth into?Inflexible = OrganizedEverything has its place - and if something changes it can throw your entire day out of whack. This tendency towards inflexibility might make dealing with the inevitable changes of day-to-day life a challenge - but the flip side is that you are supremely organized.Silver lining: Your organizational skills can have many positive applications - from keeping your own life in order and getting the most out of every minute to running a business which has a positive impact on the world at large.Don’t see your personality on this list? You can try the silver lining exercise yourself - you probably already know which of your character traits have a flip-side that you can use to do good. Be kind to yourself in your analysis, and tell us about it in the comments below.

Self-Care

Habits Can Be Happiness-Forming

Happiness expert Gretchen Rubin had a lightbulb moment during a conversation with a friend that took her interest in habits and spiked it into the realm of near-obsession. Her friend wanted to exercise. She knew she’d feel more energetic and happier if she did, but she couldn’t get herself to do it. “The funny thing is,” said the friend, “when I was in high school, I never missed track practice, but I can’t get myself to go running now.” A "eureka" moment Gretchen was thunderstruck by this new perspective on behavior. “Why is that?” she thought. “Same habit, same person. At one time it was effortless, now it’s impossible. What’s the difference?” “That got me really focused on this idea of habits,” Gretchen says. From her research, she knew that people with steady, productive habits are happier and healthier. As she looked more deeply into habits, she had more questions than answers. Why do some people have an easier time forming habits than others? Why do some people like habits while others dread them? She began researching habits and testing her theories on willing friends and family members. Her findings led to her latest book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives. She calls it a prequel to her best-selling The Happiness Project because it answers the question, “How do you start doing those things that lead to happiness?” The secret to positive habits To understand how people are able to change, Gretchen knew she must understand how habits are formed and how they stick. “Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life. We repeat about 40 percent of our habits daily, so they shape our existence and our future. When we change our habits, we change our lives. “I think people have a pretty good idea of the things that will make them happier, but they often can’t make them happen,” Gretchen says. She noticed that when people talk about something that makes them happy, they often focus on a healthy habit they finally managed to set in motion. Put your brain on autopilot “Most of the things people want to do, they want to do regularly,” Gretchen says. “Habits allow us to go on automatic. The crucial thing about habits is the lack of decision-making. You are not deciding whether to brush your teeth or put on your seat belt. You are just doing it automatically.” In this way, habits can free us from stress. “Making decisions is draining. Habits free you from using self-control or willpower,” Gretchen says. “Everything that is important to you—from getting enough sleep to exercising, working on a big project or even having more quality time with your family—once it’s a habit, you don’t have to decide.” Start small And while you’ll find lots of advice about how to set habits, from starting small to tackling a new habit first thing in the morning, Gretchen’s advice is different and goes deeper. To start a new habit, she says, “we have to first know ourselves. Once we know ourselves, we can manage ourselves better.” For example, if you are a night person you shouldn’t try to take on the habits of a morning person. Work with who you are, building on strengths and patterns that are already in place. What's your habit tendency? Habits are one way we follow through on things we know will make us happier, but the same strategies don’t work for everyone. “When we form a habit, we set expectations for ourselves,” Gretchen says. “How we respond to expectations—both internal (keep a resolution) and external (meet a work deadline) is a key question for habit change. To better explain how we fall into types when it comes to our relationships with habits, Gretchen developed a framework called The Four Tendencies. Upholders respond readily to both internal and external expectations. “I do what others expect of me—and what I expect from myself.” Questioners challenge all expectations. They meet an expectation only if they believe it’s reasonable (effectively making it an internal expectation). “I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. I won’t do something that doesn’t make sense.” Obligers respond readily to outside expectations but struggle to meet their own expectations. “I don’t like to let others down, but I often let myself down.” Rebels resist all expectations. “I want to do what I want, in my own way. If you tell me to do it, I’m less likely to do it.” Knowing thyself According to Gretchen’s research, if you identify your tendency, you will have a better idea of which one of her 21 identified habit-changing strategies will work for you. You can deploy multiple strategies at once or use a single strategy to master a habit. “For instance,” says Gretchen, “upholders do especially well with the strategy of scheduling, questioners with the strategy of clarity, obligers with the strategy of accountability and rebels with the strategy of identity. Base your style on personality and values “With habits, some people should start small and others should start big. One person should keep it private and another should go public,” Gretchen explains. “If you are going to have coffee with a friend once a week or read Scripture, it’s so much easier when there’s a habit to it. If something is really important to you, build a habit around it.” To help tailor your habits to your nature, ask yourself questions about how you spend your time, what you value most, and what habits you currently pursue. To do this, the book includes a helpful list with questions like: At what time of day do I feel energized? What’s most satisfying to me: saving time, or money, or effort? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would it be? The more your habits reflect your values, the happier you will be. Start with a strong foundation Begin with habits that strengthen self-control, what Gretchen calls The Foundation Four. These habits serve as the foundation for forming other good habits: sleep, move, eat and drink right, unclutter. “Foundational habits protect us from getting so physically taxed or mentally frazzled that we can’t manage ourselves. If you are a person who doesn’t get enough sleep and then you start getting enough sleep, that’s generally going to boost your sense of self-command. Foundation habits can even make profound change possible,” Gretchen explains. “A friend once told me, ‘I cleaned out my fridge, and now I feel like I can switch careers.’ I knew exactly what she meant.” Foundation habits reinforce each other. For instance, exercise helps people sleep, and sleep helps people do everything better. Ask yourself what you really want “I think a lot of people are plagued by these vague notions of habits they should change, and that’s very draining and makes you feel out of control of yourself,” Gretchen says. “Ask yourself what you really want and make your life reflect that.” Gretchen’s No. 1 rule on her Habits Manifesto: What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while. “Harness the power of habits to create a life that makes you freer and happier.”

Sharing

Happy Acts Heroes

You are rushing to work. Your To-Do list is weighing on your mind, and you feel a little stressed. As you drive along, you glance up at a bright yellow billboard and read: Every 10 seconds, someone is awesome. It’s you. Then you smile.Spreading the joyMaking you smile is the goal of The Joy Team as they set out to boost the nation’s happiness level by posting positive messages on billboards as part of International Day of Happiness, March 20. Now that is one major Happy Act.The Joy Team started out by posting positive messages on billboards in the Pacific Northwest, and later branched out to other regions, including Phoenix, Arizona, where they put up three billboards for the Super Bowl. This is the first year the billboards will share positivity coast-to-coast. To date, 44 billboards will share happiness messages in the shape of a smile in 19 cities.One woman who has made a differenceBased in Vancouver, Washington, The Joy Team is a nonprofit organization founded in 2010 by Michele Larsen and her daughter Taryn. “My billboard goal for this year is to have a continuous presence of positive message billboards in at least three cities,” says Michele.One positive message can make a huge difference in someone’s day. The Joy Team has a list of more than 30 positive messages that can be shared on billboards across the United States. Some of those messages include:One kind word can change the world.Best. Day. Ever. And it’s yours.You look fabulous. Wowzers.Life loves you. Just the way you are.Happiness is contagious, start an epidemic.Building community; spreading positivityWith a mission to build community by spreading joy, optimism and inspiration, The Joy Team’s initiatives grow every year. The team leads a national Chalk the Walks day on the third Tuesday in August, when they spread similar positive messages with bright chalk. They have also started the Junior Joy Team, a group of kids who share joy with those around them.In the four weeks a billboard is up, it will reach hundreds of thousands of people. With enough billboards, millions of people can be inspired, Michele says. “Ultimately, I’d love to have one up year round in every city in the United States because these billboards make a difference in the lives of people who see them. The billboards infuse people with a boost of inspiration and optimism.” For more information on Joy Team activities, visit Joyteam.org.What #HappyActs will you be doing for the International Day of Happiness?

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Wake Up Happy: Series 7

We thank you for being a part of Wake Up Happy Series 7! As a special bonus for your participation, we are gifting you with immediate access to the entire series--at no cost to you. If you missed a call – you’re in luck, we have it all right here at your fingertips; no matter what time of day.These powerful insights and practices will give you the positive outlook you need to plow through your busy schedule. Listen to these leading happiness experts and positive psychologists from all over the country and have a greater positive emotional benefit. Listen in as Emiliana Simon-Thomas, Science Director at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, talks about Compassion in the Brain. Tune in as Dr. Fab Mancini, FOX News’s Healthy Living Expert, world renowned Chiropractor, and Hay House’s bestselling author of The Power of Self-Healing, talks about Self-Healing and Happiness. Join in as Roko Belic, Director of The Happy Movie, a movie that takes you on a journey from the swamps of Louisiana to the slums of Kolkata in search of what really makes people happy, talks about The Happy Movie. Get excited as Jeff Olson, Founder of Live Happy and author of The Slight Edge, talks about The Little Things that Matter. Catch Ken Kragen, lead organizer of renowned humanitarian projects ‘We are the World’ and ‘Hands Across America’, as he talks about The Power of Optimism and Enthusiasm.

Practice

Get Involved!

“Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.”So said Chuang Tzu, preeminent Taoist thinker, some 2,500 years ago. Nonetheless, many of us actively seek out happiness in self-help books, courses, new age practices, and with the help of life coaches.Yet we are constantly bombarded with negative messages: angsty status updates from friends and family on Facebook and Twitter, awful news headlines, and advertising that plays on our worst insecurities. Our response: switch off, log-out, and block.How often do you read a bad-news article and feel powerless to help, disengaged from your community or from the larger world, or too overwhelmed by personal responsibilities to actively respond by volunteering, donating, or carrying on the conversation? It could be argued that shutting out larger world problems is actually a way of retreating further away from fulfilling your true potential as a person.Self-actualization is a term originally created by organismic theorist Kurt Goldstein. By realizing your full potential you can reach some sort of enlightenment that allows you to actively live the best life possible for yourself. Let’s specifically reference the 19 Characteristics of Abraham Maslow’s Self-Actualizer.Maslow’s theory entails 19 unique characteristics he found to be consistent within each of his subjects that have been developed into advice on how one self-actualizes. The foundation of Maslow’s theory is that you not only must understand what is preventing your happiness but you need to face, and resolve, those issues as well. This notion suggests that by avoiding, or retreating, from the issues hindering your happiness you are merely prolonging the process.1. Perception of RealityThe first trait is that of a superior relationship with reality. This means he or she understands that the unknown is a part of reality and not only is he or she comfortable with that but he or she embraces it with open arms.2. AcceptanceThe next is the idea that he or she simply accepts himself or herself unconditionally. So much so that the whole idea doesn’t even cross his or her mind.3. SpontaneityThe third coincides with the first in that a self-actualized individual’s behavior is natural and it is not dictated by a forced agenda. In other words, he or she does not take actions simply for the reason of being a plot device that is meant to cause a specific reaction.4. Problem CenteringSelf-actualizers tend to have goals and a mission in life. They have small things they would like to accomplish in the short-term and large overarching things they would like to accomplish in the long run.5. SolitudeSelf-actualizers also tend to value their privacy and time alone slightly more than the average individual.6. AutonomyThe sixth trait is that of independence from the need for external accolades or praise. A self-actualizer has realized that inner growth and self-development are much more pertinent to life than these things.7. Fresh AppreciationSelf-actualizing people are able to maintain the appreciation of a child experiencing something new even for the most basic experiences in life. They never allow themselves to feel like they are simply going through the motions.8. Peak ExperiencesThis is the groove that you get into when you are in your element and your focus has never been better. Self-actualizers allow themselves to reach this state more often than most.9. Human KinshipThe ninth trait is the characteristic of universal empathy. Self-actualizers feel as though everyone is family and they have a human connection with every individual they encounter.10. Humility and RespectSelf-actualizing people tend to be as humble as they come. They are able to befriend all types of people and could be described as unable to see the superficial differences that are often so important to the average person.11. Interpersonal RelationshipsThough they have a connection with mostly everyone, self-actualizers often have small circles of close loved ones. The love they feel for these few is profound and unwavering.12. EthicsPlain and simple, self-actualizing people have very distinct beliefs on right and wrong and they religiously do what they believe is right.13. Means and EndsSelf-actualizers are true believers in the saying “a means to an end.” They are fixated on ends and not preoccupied with the means.14. HumorThey are not amused by hostile, superiority, or authority-rebellion humor and don’t usually consider what the average individual finds to be funny to be funny.15. CreativityMaslow simply states that this is a universal trait throughout all people who were studied. But basically, self-actualized people find outlets where they can successfully exercise their creativity.16. Resistance of EnculturationSelf-actualizers naturally resist enculturation and maintain a distance from the culture they are immersed in. Due to their non-bias nature in all facets of life it makes it difficult for them to be consumed by such a subjective matter.17. ImperfectionsIt is important to note that self-actualizers are not perfect. They have negative and mundane characteristics just like everyone else, but they are aware of them and use that knowledge to their advantage.18. ValuesSelf-actualized people have a strong set of values that they keep close to their heart. These beliefs tend to indoctrinate their lives so that everything they do fits within them.19. Resolution of DichotomiesThe final trait is the idea that the line between selfishness and selflessness disappears because in reality every act is both selfish and selfless.Now, before you start to worry about having all of these traits yourself, remember that this was one man’s conclusion from one study. It’s difficult to say that all self-actualized people have all 19 of these traits all the time. After all, doesn’t trait number six claim that a self-actualizer wouldn’t be bothered by Maslow’s classification anyway?The point is that all of these traits have one theme in common: they are all choices that can be made. You can choose whether or not to be terrified by the unknown, whether you want to be limited by society’s standards, limited to your daily responsibilities, or whether you want to take a little leap of faith and start doing something more. Instead of striving for immediate happiness, we might reframe our feelings of discontent in the face of terrifying news headlines and remember that we are part of it, we are connected, and there is someone, somewhere who we could lend a hand to in some small, manageable way.Once you know what you feel would make the future a little better for the world, following through, reaching out to people, nonprofits, and community groups and offering a little time or expertise or money is a tangible step toward achieving self-actualization.Phillip Sontag is an editor at Idealist, currently one of the world’s preeminent organizations for connecting nonprofits worldwide with more than a million people each month who can imagine a better future. Visit Idealist.org to find out more.

Practice

A Twist of Faith

Conversations with Shane Claiborne begin and end with laughter. Laughter when he talks about the pranks he and his buddies pulled rappelling down the side of a college dorm. Laughter when he recalls splashing through fire hydrant waterfalls with neighborhood kids on a steamy summer afternoon. Laughter when he talks about the night he and a bunch of homeless moms and kids in Philadelphia outsmarted a fire chief who was caving to political pressure. Turns out, the chief was trying to evict the women and kids from an abandoned church in North Philadelphia’s “Badlands,” an area known for drugs, where they’d taken refuge from the cold autumn winds that swept off the Delaware River a few blocks away. The women had moved inside the church and were sleeping with their children on pews and on the floor in the unheated structure. Then the religious organization that owned the church wanted them out.Seeds of activismShane and his buddies from Eastern University had been at the church to pray with the families and offer support. However, unbeknownst to the group, the city’s fire chief had scheduled a surprise inspection for 7 a.m. The plan was to inspect the church, “discover” a bunch of fire code violations, boot everyone out and then the police would enforce the order.But not all of the rank-and-file firefighters were on board. Later that night, two firefighters arrived to tip off the families and help bring the church up to code. By dawn, with Shane, his friends, the firefighters and the mothers working all night, the church was in compliance with every requirement of the fire code. Fire extinguishers. Exit signs. Wiring. The whole enchilada.The chief arrived, stomped through the structure, then left. The moms and kids stayed, and Shane realized that he’d just stumbled into what he was supposed to do with his life.The Simple WayShane is a radical. Make no mistake about it. He emerged out of the Bible Belt of East Tennessee, spent some time in his youth as a self-professed Jesus freak, attended a prestigious Christian college, grew a wild mane of dreadlocks, interned at arguably the largest, most-affluent Protestant church in America, and did graduate work at Princeton Theological Seminary.But Shane doesn’t practice his faith in a traditional way. He does it by feeling his way along the path he senses God has laid out in front of him, one shaped by sleeping on the streets of Chicago with the homeless, working with Mother Teresa in Calcutta and breaking bread with the oppressed, the tortured and the abandoned. As he writes in his book, The Irresistible Revolution, “I learned more about God from the tears of homeless mothers than any systematic theology ever taught me.”Purpose into practicePursuing this path has been Shane’s single-minded purpose for two decades. It’s not that he’s left the traditional practices of religious life behind. Prayer, caring for others, scripture, contemplation and communion are the touchstones of his existence. No, it’s more that he’s returning to simpler, more spiritual roots.He’s ditched the big-mortgage church for a small community church in his neighborhood. He’s abandoned the pastoral manse for a fixer-upper row house in the Badlands that cost a few thousand dollars. And he’s helped create a small, intentional community of six to eight men and women who live and pray and work together every day of their lives.Finding "The Simple Way"That community, calling itself The Simple Way, is, as their website boldly declares, “a web of subversive friends conspiring to spread the vision of ‘Loving God, Loving People and Following Jesus’ in our neighborhoods and in our world.” It’s a noble purpose. And fueled by their passion, the community members began getting the hang of how to do it.“When we started 16 years ago, we were reacting to crises,” Shane says. “We were feeding 100 people a day and trying to help people with housing issues.” There are still crises, he says, but over the years, the neighborhood has stabilized. Even when people have housing issues, they’re likely to stay in the neighborhood. And now the community has aquaponic systems, gardens, rain barrels and the ability to grow its own food.A new kind of paradise“One friend says we’re trying to bring the Garden of Eden to North Philadelphia,” he says. But even the Garden of Eden had a touch of evil slithering around, and some days, Shane and his friends help their neighbors simply by accompanying them through the dark times. For example, a young man was shot dead on his block. (“Gun violence is a big focus here,” Shane says.)So the group supports its neighborhood by offering a loving presence and helping neighbors find ways to express their grief, their anger and their expectation of a better day. At one gathering, the neighborhood came together to follow the biblical injunction to “turn swords into plowshares.” “We [had the guns melted], did a kind of welding workshop, got a forge and heated the guns,” he says. “Then the mothers who had lost kids to gun violence beat the guns into trowels.”Expanding the movementUsing the trowels in the garden to grow food that would feed the next generation of kids was a powerful statement of the women’s determination that love would triumph over hate, forgiveness over anger, good over evil.Acts like these have only shined the light brighter on Shane and his personal brand of the Christian lifestyle—and are attracting attention from across the religious spectrum. Each year, he receives invitations to speak at more than a hundred events in a dozen or more countries and nearly every state. He has led seminars at Vanderbilt University, Duke, Pepperdine, Wheaton College, Princeton and Harvard.Shane may be on to something, with his simple, purposeful and passionate approach to faith, and maybe, just maybe, we could learn something from him.

Practice

Train Yourself to Love in 4 Steps

One way to bring moments of healthy connection to your life is, surprisingly, to spend time alone. Experts say meditation and other forms of mindfulness train you to have better rapport with others. As we eliminate distractions in our lives and become more aware of ourselves and those around us, we begin to live in the moment and experience those moments more fully.A special kind of meditationOne popular practice is the loving-kindness meditation, which is shown to help us create a greater connection with other people. “Loving-kindness meditation is a way of training our attention to be more inclusive and open,” says Sharon Salzberg, a leading proponent of Buddhist meditation practices and author of several books, including Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation.Unlike other forms of meditation, loving-kindness involves wishing ourselves and others well. Loving-kindness encourages us to aim tender thoughts at others—both people we know and don’t know. “In thinking about others, instead of rigidly categorizing some as ‘unimportant’ or ‘not counting,’ we are more fully present, so we genuinely feel connected.”Scientifically studiedStudies show that meditation can help you feel and act with compassion. In a study at Northeastern University, people who had practiced loving-kindness or another type of mindfulness for eight weeks were much more likely than members of a control group to stand up and give their seats to someone on crutches. At Stanford University, after just a few minutes of loving-kindness meditation, participants in another study felt more connected to strangers pictured in photographs and had more positive feelings about them.Warning: Strong emotions may occurEager to give loving-kindness meditation a go? Start with professional guidance—a therapist or clinician trained in the method, advises neuroscientist Gaëlle Desbordes of Harvard Medical School, who collaborated on the Northeastern study. Individuals who are depressed or have other mental health issues might discover pre-existing trauma through meditation, but most healthy individuals will find it beneficial.Here, Sharon explains the basics of how to get started:1. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed—“It doesn’t have to be a formal meditation posture.”2. Choose simple phrases to repeat to yourself as you breathe deeply. Sharon suggests: “May I be safe;” “may I be happy;” “may I be healthy;” and/or “may I live with ease.” As the pronoun suggests, you first think these wishes for yourself, and picture yourself experiencing them. Gently repeat the phrases, each time directing your wishes at another person in your life. It could be someone you get along with; it could be someone with whom you’ve been experiencing friction.3. If your mind wanders, try to let go of whatever thought is distracting you and return to your phrases.4. If you feel like it, offer the wishes to “all beings everywhere—those whom you know, those whom you don’t know.” Start with just five minutes of meditation daily, and try building your practice to 20 minutes or more.Make it easy and informalIn addition to a more formal meditation practice, Sharon says that as you become more adept at loving kindness, you can do it “on the fly.” Practice it throughout the day, while walking, driving or even waiting in line. Sharon says she aims silent wishes at people she passes on the street (with her eyes open, of course).Who is this??Another way to prime yourself for loving connections? When your telephone rings, don’t pick it up right away. “Let it ring three times and breathe,” Sharon suggests. “It just gives you a few moments to break the momentum of the maybe crazy day you’re having.” That allows you to feel fully present, so you can connect better with the person who is calling.

Profiles

Bill McKibben Is Trying to Save the Planet

Many of us who grew up bribing our moms to drive us to the movies in the family gas guzzler and merrily spraying ourselves with insecticide at camp had no idea that, molecule by molecule, we were tossing damaged carbon particles into the atmosphere and contributing to a larger global problem. Fortunately, while so many of us were picking out a new shade of petroleum-based nail polish at the dime store counter, Bill McKibben, a tall, lanky kid from Boston, was hiking with his dad through the mountains and falling in love with the beauty of the planet’s forests, lakes, mountains and deserts. What we do matters That love, plus an avid curiosity and a sharp intellect that demanded to know how and who and why about everything, have thrust Bill into the forefront of a worldwide movement to reduce carbon particles thrown into the atmosphere by deforestation, aging agricultural practices, idling cars, home furnaces and fossil fuel-burning industries. His awareness of the sheer physicality of the universe—and how we are impacting it on a daily basis—reached critical mass after he finished college and went to work for The New Yorker in Manhattan. Getting in touch with the physical world “I wrote a long piece about where everything in my apartment came from,” Bill says. “I followed the electric lines back to the oil wells in Brazil and the uranium mines in the Grand Canyon, traced New York’s water system, on and on. It taught me that the world is a remarkably physical place, which is a lesson that’s easy to forget. That set me up nicely for reading the early science on climate change in the 1980s and recognizing the planet’s vulnerability.” It also gave him a purpose, one that drove everything he did from the minute he got up in the morning until he went to bed at night, and lit a passion within him to share what was happening to the planet with every one of us. Passion for the planet Bill’s passion to save the planet also led him to big questions—“How much human intervention can a place stand before it loses the essence of its nature?”—and to a purposeful exploration of one strategy after another: simple living, alternative energy, locally sourced food, birth control, new ways of living off the land. Eventually, his belief that the planet could be saved by such seemingly simple practices led him to take action. So he and a group of friends took to the streets and founded the climate change organization 350.org. In the past few years, the organization, with Bill at its helm, has organized more than 15,000 rallies in nearly 200 countries, including the People’s Climate March in New York just before the U.N.’s September climate change summit. Effective activism The group’s tactics are working. They’ve helped raise the whole concept of sustainability to a national debate and have attracted enough attention that decision makers are hearing the roar. In one case, that roar helped convince the World Council of Churches, which represents 500 million Christians in 110 countries and territories around the globe, to dump its investments in fossil fuels. While some don’t agree with some of Bill’s stances, his efforts have won accolades from others. He received the Right Livelihood Award, considered the “alternative Nobel,” in 2014 and has been named the Schumann Distinguished Scholar in Environmental Studies at Middlebury College, a fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, the 2013 winner of both the Gandhi Prize and the Thomas Merton Prize—and Foreign Policy, a journal, named him to its 2009 list of the 100 most important global thinkers. Bill continues to move forward boldly and with purpose to achieve even more.

Self-Care

12 Ways to Celebrate You

Life should be filled with joyful moments. On top of that, as living, breathing human beings we all deserve to be acknowledged, appreciated and celebrated. Life gets busy for most of us as we juggle responsibilities and spend much of our time nurturing others. It is important that we each find the time to celebrate who we are, to honor ourselves for our efforts and triumphs, and to praise our resilience even during the hardest of times.Here are 12 ways to celebrate you!1. Take a breakTake a stay-cation or a vacation that includes lots of the activities that you love to do. If you love reading in an Adirondack chair in a beautiful location, find a way to do it. If you love eating delicious foods, indulge in going out to dinner at one of your favorite restaurants. Take some time out to avoid feeling burned out.2. Write a gratitude letter—to yourselfMany of us have taken the time out to express our gratitude to others, but very few of us have really invested the energy in focusing on what we are grateful for in ourselves. Write a list or a letter highlighting all of the things about you that you’re grateful for. For example: the ability to juggle work and family, or that you have found a way to live within your means. Or maybe you are grateful that you’ve been eating and living in a healthier way since January.Whatever it is, write it down! Later, if you are having a day where you are feeling particularly down on yourself, refer to that list to put some positivity back into your mind and mood.3. Unleash your inner childReward yourself with a rare moment of instant gratification. Has there always been an activity you have been dying to try? Indoor skydiving? Paintball? A ballet class? Try it!4. Have a “celebrate us” gatheringGet a group of friends together to celebrate each other and your friendship. Bring your own favorite dish to share at a potluck or go to a restaurant that has meals you all love. Toast to the importance of close, wonderful relationships.5. Give yourself the gift of extra timeWake up a bit earlier or go to bed a bit later so you can have some extra time in the day just for you. Drink a cup of coffee by yourself, read a magazine or cuddle up on the couch and watch your favorite TV show.6. Give yourself a social media shout outHop on Facebook or Twitter and write a post that simply says something like, "I'm feeling great today, I hope you are, too," or "I'm having a great day today, I hope you are, too!" Your social media circle will love that you are feeling happy, and they will appreciate that you're wishing good feelings on them as well.7. Start a joyful ritualOnce a week (or month), set aside time to take a hot bubble bath, read your favorite books, or end your day with a scoop of your favorite ice cream.8. Put some happy in your workspaceFind a gorgeous photo of a place you dream of going to and make it your wallpaper on your computer or smartphone. Start working on a plan to go there.9. Listen upMake yourself a "mixtape." Design a playlist for your iPod, phone or computer that is filled with songs that you love and that make you happy.Listen often.10. Buy something beautifulBuy yourself some flowers and put them in a prominent place in your home or office where you can enjoy them. Maybe this can even become a weekly or monthly ritual.11. Document yourselfGet a new picture of you taken by a friend with a great camera or even a professional photographer. It could be colorful, or arty and black and white. Smile—you’ll be glad later that you documented this moment in your life.12. Be kind to yourselfDo to yourself as you might do for others. Make a concerted effort to be as attentive and giving to yourself as you would be to a boss, a customer, a child, a friend or a mate. Make your wants and needs a priority and focus.Stacy Kaiser is a successful Southern California-based licensed psychotherapist and author of How to Be a Grown Up. A top relationship expert and media personality, Stacy contributes frequently to Live Happy.

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Get Involved!

A Twist of Faith

Train Yourself to Love in 4 Steps

Bill McKibben Is Trying to Save the Planet

12 Ways to Celebrate You

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