Phil and Joann Gulley have embraced a simpler life.

Living on Less to Give More

The SUV turning into Phil Gulley’s Danville, Indiana, driveway was huge. Bright, shiny and fresh off the assembly line in neighboring Oakville, the SUV—with Phil’s friend Jerry at the wheel—could haul an entire indoor under-10 girls soccer team to the school gym, seven guys to shoot hoops at the town hall, or Phil, his wife, and two sets of in-laws over the river and through the snow to a community Christmas gathering. What’s more, the SUV was safe as a tank and could haul both neighbors and bean dip to a church potluck anywhere in four counties—not an insignificant factor since Phil is a Quaker pastor. “We should get one,” he announced to his wife, Joann, after Jerry had left. “They’re only $40,000.” Joann’s reaction—“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard!” as Phil recalls her saying—was direct and to the point. Their little Toyota had only 120,000 miles on it. And what about the commitment they’d made to one another to live on less so they’d have more to share with those who needed a helping hand? Years ago, Phil and Joann chose a lifestyle that would allow them to do it. And it wasn’t because, as a pastor, Phil had to walk the talk. It was because sharing what they had was who they were. It made them happy. Not that either one had recognized that right off. “When we first got married, we never had much extra,” Phil explains. But then he began to write books based on the small-town antics of a Quaker church’s members and the faithful pastor who tried to keep them all out of trouble, and things changed. Book reviewers raved about his work, the books became best-sellers, and Phil and Joann were stunned when the first royalty check arrived in the mail from his publisher. Unfortunately, neither Phil nor Joann were accustomed to handling much money. “When that first check came, we just kind of blew through it,” Phil admits ruefully. “Three months later, we looked at each other and were just sick about it. We felt like we’d eaten too much junk food.” They quickly realized that they’d stumbled onto the wrong path. So they took a step back, returned to a simpler lifestyle, vowed to one another that they’d stick to it, and were amazed to find that sharing the money from Phil’s royalties with others made them happier than spending it on a brand new computer that did everything but make coffee. “We found that generosity gives us joy,” Phil says. An emerging trend We Americans are a generous lot: Individuals gave more than $264 billion to charity last year alone. It’s a mind-boggling sum, particularly when you realize that it’s not easy for a lot of us to find even an extra $10 for those who need help. But as Phil points out, “Philanthropy and generosity are not the purview of the wealthy. Even the poorest among us are given opportunities to be generous.” How do we manage to give so much? At least part of the answer is that Phil and Joann are not the only two people on the planet who are driving secondhand cars so they can save a few extra dollars to share with others. In fact, they may actually be on the leading edge of an emerging trend, says Keith Curtis, who chairs Giving USA, the nonprofit research group that tracks charitable giving in the United States and gives donors, nonprofits and professional fundraisers the hard data they need to function. “There’s no data yet, but we see it every day,” Keith says. “Once they’ve taken care of their kids, people want to give back and make their community a better place. They know people have needs and they want to help. They want to make a difference.” Shawn Landres, Ph.D., co-founder of Jumpstart, a Los Angeles think tank known for its research into charitable giving, says that Keith’s comments resonate. “We don’t have the data,” agrees Shawn, “but we do know that there are people with resources who are now choosing to give to a charity rather than buy that extra boat or that $5,000 case of Champagne. “There’s also a generational style that has people choosing to live more intentionally,” he adds. “They’re no longer doing the pledged giving that our parents did.” Instead, Shawn says, they’re doing things like crowd-funding or forming a “giving circle,” in which one person will, instead of writing a single check for $100, bring together a group of friends, neighbors, co-workers and the like to collectively write a check for $1,000. Hardwired to give One of the things that encourages us to reach into our pockets to help others is that we are hardwired to give. Northwestern University professor Jordan Grafman, Ph.D., was one of the first researchers to investigate the relationship between the brain and giving. In a study that appeared in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in 2006, Jordan conducted brain imaging studies that demonstrated that giving activates parts of the brain rich with receptors for the feel-good neuropeptide oxytocin—the same chemical that’s associated with the warm glow of happiness we get from food and sex. But there is one caveat. “Context matters,” Jordan says. If you give simply to get something back—increase your social status, look good to your friends or impress your boss, for example—then imaging studies show that you’re just going to feel a flicker of that warm, happy glow rather than a full blast of over-the-top joy. Individuals make up the lion’s share of charitable contributions,” says Una Osili, Ph.D., director of research at the Indiana University Lilly Family School of Philanthropy in Indianapolis. “They account for 71 percent of all giving.” If giving causes you to have to sacrifice something, however, whether it’s the ability to buy a latte every morning on the way to work or the opportunity to see a new film with friends, then brain studies show that you’ll get the full blast. Now chief of neuroscience at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, Jordan explains that, “When you give something at a cost to yourself, that’s when you really get a big effect.” A landmark study at the University of Oregon, published in 2007 in Science magazine, backs Jordan up. Researchers there gave 19 students $100 each and told them that any money left over at the end of the study was theirs to keep. The students were then wired up to an fMRI imaging machine as they watched a computer program. The program told them about a food bank that needed money, and then randomly did a number of things with the cash in the students’ online “accounts.” Some students watched as their money was given to the food bank. Others were given the opportunity to donate to the food bank—the choice was theirs. Still others saw extra money suddenly appear in their accounts. The brain scans’ results were astounding. The givers—whether or not they had donated their money voluntarily—were happier than those who received the gifts of cash. The “pleasure zones” in the charitable students’ brains “lit up,” as the Science article explained. But how much giving does it take to get that happy buzz? To find out, for a study published in a 2008 article in Science, researcher Lara Aknin, Ph.D., from the University of British Columbia (she is now at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia) cruised the city streets of Vancouver with a box of envelopes. She approached people at random and asked them to be part of an experiment. If they agreed, she asked them to rate their happiness that day, then got their phone numbers and gave them one of the envelopes. In the envelope was either a $5 or $20 bill, plus a note. For some of the study participants, the note said, “Please spend this [amount] today before 5 p.m. on a gift for yourself or for any of your expenses.” For others in the study, the note said: “Please spend this [amount] today before 5 p.m. on a gift for someone else or a donation to charity.” That evening Lara contacted each person who had accepted an envelope, asked them how happy they were and how they’d spent their money. The result? Not only did those who had spent their money on others feel far happier than those who had spent it on themselves, but it really didn’t matter whether someone had spent $5 or $20. Those who gave away $5 were just as happy as those who gave away $20. The benefits of a giving life Aside from the sheer joy of giving in the moment, making a commitment to living on less to give more as a daily practice in your life can extend that joy—and bring a few unexpected benefits. Steve Cleaver, a yoga instructor and the school coordinator at Richmond Friends School in Richmond, Indiana, knows this firsthand. Steve grew up as one of five kids on a farm, then went to college and grad school. But as he went from a house to school to an apartment, to another house, he began to feel as though his life was cluttered up by stuff. According to Giving USA's Annual Report on Philanthropy for 2015 (the most recent data available): $264.58 billion in charitable contributions comes from individuals, $58.46 billion from foundations, $31.76 billion from bequests and $18.45 billion from corporations.” So when he took a job at a yoga retreat center, he also took it as an opportunity to give things away that he didn’t use. And that was an eye-opener. “I began to look at what I had and what I bought in a new way,” he explains. “I’d grown up without a lot, and I struggled for a long time with the idea that having things was the way to go. I just felt I had to buy, buy, buy. “When I began to give it all away, however, I found that if I can live on less, I worry about less. I don’t have to worry about getting stuff, and I don’t have to worry about maintaining it. I also found that living on less gave me a sense of security,” he adds. “It’s like backpacking. You know you have everything you really need right on your back.” Now, instead of focusing on what he’s going to buy, Steve focuses on what he’s going to give—primarily to local artists, dancers, musicians, writers, filmmakers and designers through the online crowd-funding sites Kickstarter and Indiegogo. “I found that I’d rather invest in people than in things I don’t really need,” Steve explains. “That’s what makes me happy.” That kind of giving is something that resonates with Philadelphia conference planner Susan Lee Barton. Susan Lee has had a lifelong love of nonprofit organizations that actively lift people up and try to make the world a better place. Some of the groups she’s supported over the years share conflict management skills in Africa, develop reconciliation initiatives in Indonesia and offer workshops on alternatives to violence in Colombia. But finding the money to support these groups wasn’t always easy. “For a big part of my life I had been trying to increase what I gave to nonprofit organizations like these, but I was having trouble doing it,” Susan Lee says. Fortunately, while she was working at Right Sharing of World Resources, an organization that lends small amounts of money to women in Kenya, Sierra Leone and south India so they can launch small businesses that fit the markets available in their local economy, she had a conversation with co-worker Bob Barnes. “Bob challenged me to think about my possessions, how they affected me, and how they affected my relationship with God,” recalls Susan Lee, who takes her faith seriously. She did as Bob suggested, and was eventually led to make two serious changes in how she lived. The first was to give up her car, the cost of which had put her into debt. And the second was to move from an apartment into an interfaith community that shared a house in Philadelphia. Those two decisions single-handedly erased her debt and enabled her to increase her donations to the nonprofits whose work she so loves. But they also had a couple of unexpected benefits: All the walking she does without a car have made her a healthier woman, and living in community with others—a community in which people gather for morning worship, shared dinners, workshops, work parties and celebrations—has brought her unexpected joy. Joy, health, freedom, a simpler life, a sense of security and a loving community—living on less to give more to others may actually be the gift you give yourself.
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Two people warming their feet in front of a cozy fire.

3 Happiness Hacks to Savor the Holiday Season

Buy the groceries! Prep the turkey! Set the table! In the midst of the scurry to get ready for Thanksgiving, sometimes it can be difficult to just enjoy the moment with friends and family. It might be time to try something different this year (and no, I’m not talking about a new cranberry recipe). Start the Thanksgiving season with an intention to savor even the little moments—a practice that boosts your happiness levels, reduces stress and helps you navigate negative emotions that might surface when your family gathers together. 1. Develop a taste for savoring The Latin root of the word savor literally means “to taste,” so Thanksgiving is the perfect time to try out this positive habit. In the same way that you might enjoy your favorite smoked turkey dish or sweet potato casserole covered in toasted marshmallows (mmmm…), savoring involves pausing to appreciate the sights, sounds, smells and feelings around you. Do you feel crispness in the air as leaves fall to the sidewalk? Do you hear laughter ringing in the background as you step into the kitchen? What was the funniest thing someone said at the dinner table? What memories does the hum of a football game evoke in you? Practice the art of savoring now, so that you can train your brain to savor even in the midst of stressful, hectic or challenging times. Read more: The Science of Savoring 2. Find connection amid distraction Savoring is about being present and conscious in the moment, which we all know can be a challenge amid the numerous distractions in our lives. For many families, Thanksgiving is a special time of year when multiple generations gather around a table for a communal experience. However, all too often, technology eclipses these moments of connection. Yes, teens struggle with tech addiction, but so do many adults. We use tech as a buffer for awkward conversation or even an escape from unsavory obligations (anyone want to wash dishes?). 3. Use technology wisely Over the last year, I’ve spent a significant amount of time researching and interviewing people for my book The Future of Happiness (coming in April 2017) to glean the best strategies for tackling tech addiction and the modern digital divide. I surmised that the happiest individuals would be those who completely unplugged and instead spent hours meditating by candlelight. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Rather, the people who experienced the greatest levels of well-being in the digital era were those who were most conscious and thoughtful about when, where, why and how they use technology. In fact, many times they used technology to fuel their happiness and boost their ability to savor experiences. Read more: 3 Secrets to Happiness This Holiday Season Consider these practical ideas for using technology to help you savor the holiday season: Look through old family photos together, either in scrapbooks or by going through pictures on Shutterfly, Google Photos or Instagram. Read through your gratitude journal from the past year, or start a new journal on the Gratitude Journal app. Lead your family in a one-minute (or longer!) meditation before dinner using the Headspace or another meditation app. Use the Remindfulness app to get gentle reminders in your day to stay mindful amid the hustle and bustle. Write down a list of memorable phrases from dinner on Evernote and send an automatic reminder to yourself for next year to relive the memory. While your food is settling after dinner, engage your family in a hilarious game of charades using Ellen Degeneres’ app HeadsUp, which is fun for all ages. Amy Blankson, aka the ‘Happy Tech Girl,’ is on a quest to find strategies to help individuals balance productivity and well-being in the digital era. Amy, with her brother Shawn Achor, co-founded GoodThink, which brings the principles of positive psychology to life and works with organizations such as Google, NASA and the US Army. Her upcoming book is called The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-being in the Digital Era (April 2017).
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Woman waking up in bed and kissing her dog.

7 Science-Backed Tips for a Happier Morning

Not all of us are born with the urge to wake up and carpe diem. Some of us would rather seize the covers and pull them right back over our heads where they belong. As daylight saving time ends and we are given back the hour that was snatched away from us in March, it seems like the perfect time to look at new ways to bring joy to your morning. After all, we get a whole extra hour—we might as well make the most of it, right? Mornings matter For better or worse, our mornings can set the tone for the entire day. If you drag yourself out of bed feeling tired, stressed or harried, chances are good you’ll feel that way for at least the next few hours. Once that ship starts sailing, it’s hard to turn it around, so consciously deciding to start your mornings differently is a huge step toward creating a better day. Planning to start your day on a positive note can make the difference between a so-so morning and a super one. Here are seven scientifically proven ways to bring more happiness to your morning. 1. Forget the alarm Do you bolt out of bed to the sound of an alarm that sends your cortisol levels skyrocketing? While it may be effective in waking you up, it’s not necessarily the best way; Japanese researchers are even investigating the correlation between heart attacks and alarm clocks. Instead, try waking up to a favorite song programmed into your phone. No need to have it blaring, either; the idea here is not to jolt you awake, but rather to invite you to start the day. Listening to an uplifting song first thing in the morning can not only put a positive message in your mind, but also can help lower your stress and anxiety levels. 2. Get centered One of the big stressors of the morning is simply trying to get everything done and get everyone out the door on time. Getting up a few minutes earlier and investing that time in yourself can help you feel calm and centered for the day. Creating a morning practice, whether that means meditating, writing in a journal or doing yoga, is a way to put yourself first every morning. Even five or 10 minutes of mindfully centering yourself can better prepare you for what’s to come. 3. Practice gratitude Gratitude is one of the best ways to shift your attitude. On those days when getting up and going to work feels like the last thing you want to do, write down five things you appreciate about your job. (Even if the best you can come up with is “the coffee in the break room is always hot.”) Practicing gratitude has many benefits, including flooding your brain with positive emotions—and who doesn’t want that first thing in the morning? (It can even help you sleep better, which makes waking up easier.) 4. Stay unplugged It has become a habit for many of us to reach for our phones first thing to check email, texts or catch up on social media. Or we may switch on the TV to find out the latest news. Well, here’s a news flash for you: None of those things are going to add joy to your morning. Take this time to be mindful of your morning and make time for yourself. Seeing what you’ve missed (or what you need to do) creates instant stress, so ignore it for as long as you possibly can. 5. Make a run for it Going for a morning run (or walk) to start your day has dual benefits. First, there’s the benefit of the exercise itself, which releases feel-good endorphins in your brain for an instant boost. But just taking your movement outside is good for you, too. Research into biophilia, that emotional connection we have with nature, shows that getting outside for even a few minutes can reduce cortisol and enhance our overall mental health. 6. Question your existence Our brains are processing machines that are constantly asking questions. The problem comes when we are inundated with a line of negative questions: “Why didn’t I get up earlier?” “How am I going to get everything done today?”…you know the drill. Redirect the inner interrogation to more intentional, positive questions—things like, “What am I most excited about today?” and “How can I make today awesome?” You’ll reset your thinking (and your mood), and your brain will automatically start looking for answers. 7. Just breathe Finally, take a breath. A deep, slow breath that starts in your belly and eventually fills your lungs. You’ll instantly trigger your parasympathetic nervous system—which controls our fight or flight response—and create a feeling of calm. You’re also sending more oxygen throughout your body, which instantly creates more energy. Load up, it’s free! Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Kids in the classroom.

4 Ideas Shaping the Future of Education

With adolescents increasingly experiencing anxiety, depression and other forms of mental illness, the need for change on a global scale for our youth has never been greater. The formation of the International Positive Education Network (IPEN) in 2014 paved the way to apply to education the principles of positive psychology, which research shows creates better outcomes, both academically and emotionally, for students. IPEN members advocate that developing students’ character strengths and well-being are as important as academic achievement to their future success and happiness. The organization’s goals include changing educational policies to recognize and include positive education principles and to then help put such programs into place. Although many positive education initiatives have been developed around the world, IPEN brings them together. “We needed a way to share best practices and try to form all of those disparate things that are happening into a global movement,” explained Lord James O’Shaughnessy, chair of the IPEN steering committee. In July, IPEN held its inaugural Festival of Positive Education in Dallas, offering workshops and presentations to some 800 attendees from more than 30 countries. Academics and positive psychology experts traded ideas on introducing classroom practices. Although the event was geared toward education, it provided plenty of takeaways for life outside of the classroom. Here are four of our favorites. 1. Grit takes a team Author and psychology professor Angela Duckworth, Ph.D., has almost single-handedly brought the word “grit” to the forefront of conversation. But she said an individual child’s grit isn’t the only factor that determines his or her success. “Grit is not just something that you have yourself, it’s also the resources you have with other people.” That means we can increase our grit by drawing upon the strength of those around us, and we also can help boost the resilience and grit of other people in our lives. “When I interview people…who have accomplished incredible physical feats, you have to realize they have around them people who don’t let them quit. Sometimes, it’s not their grit [that drives them], it’s the grit of people who care about them,” Angela said. She emphasized that such encouragement is different from forcing others to participate in activities they aren’t passionate about; grit is about learning to persevere when times are difficult, when your team isn’t winning or you’re no longer at the top of your class. “What a powerful thing to wake up and say, ‘We do things when they’re hard.…we never lose hope; we are the ones who look for hope and change.’ ” 2. Parents: Positive psychology's missing piece? Today, positive psychology is accessed in many different ways: Organizations teach its principles to improve business practices; higher education institutions make it part of curriculum and even elementary and high schools are finding ways to include it. Where it’s still lacking, though, is in reaching parents directly, said Lea Waters, Ph.D., founder of the Australia-based Positive Detective, a school-based well-being program. “The topic of parenting has been neglected in positive psychology,” she said, noting that from 2006 through 2014 only 1.7 percent of the articles published in positive psychology journals focused on parenting. “It’s a missing piece of the puzzle.” Finding a way to do that may present a challenge for positive psychology practitioners, but it’s a problem that should no longer be ignored, according to Lea. “Not every child goes to school; many of them are home-schooled,” she points out. “And not every adult goes to a workplace every day. How are we going to reach them?” 3. Focus on the positive Being mindful of what you’re focusing on matters more today than ever before, said contemporary historian Sir Anthony Seldon, vice-chancellor of the University of Buckingham. As co-founder and first director of the Centre for Contemporary British History and co-founder of Action for Happiness, he offered unique insight into the intersection of world politics and positive psychology. And never, he said, has global politics been in greater need of an infusion of positivity. When the media focuses on what’s wrong with a country, a leader or a political group, he explained, it creates a fearful, negative mindset that permeates an entire culture and can have long-lasting repercussions. Individually, we can begin changing that mindset by re-evaluating what we listen to and where we focus our energy. “There will always be demagogues who try to pull people apart. They work on fear rather than operating on a positive vision,” he said. However, “…there will always be people who define themselves primarily by their humanity. Positive psychology pulls us toward what we share in common with others.” Learning to appreciate our commonalities instead of arguing over our differences is critical to how we progress globally. “We must encourage our sense of identity, based on our common humanity. Those who would see our differences as something to be feared and separated will only lead to a more violent, divided world.” 4. Check the facts As a broadcast journalist, Michelle Gielan knew the importance of checking the facts in her stories. But as a positive psychology researcher, she’s found that same skill can help each of us improve our well-being. The Broadcasting Happiness author reported that people who read negative news could actually have positive reactions, but only if they were offered solutions to the problems they’d just read about. A study she conducted with Arianna Huffington found that when readers were offered solutions, they not only showed an improved attitude toward the news they’d just read but also increased their overall creative problem-solving abilities by 20 percent. “If we can remind the brain that there is a path forward in one domain, we actually empower [ourselves] to take positive action and become more creative problem solvers in other areas.” To do that, she recommended a three-step fact-checking process to overcome negative thinking and obstacles: 1. Isolate the negative thought. “When someone is overwhelmed, you start by finding out what, at the core, is stressing them out?” For example, if someone is stressed out about work, find that core thought—such as the fear of missing an important deadline. 2. List known facts. “Strip out the emotions,” she suggested, then examine the truths surrounding that negative thought. In the case of work, that might mean listing what needs to happen in order for that deadline to be met, and what obstacles stand in the way. 3. List the new set of facts that can illuminate the situation. This could include looking at who else could help meet this deadline, or even considering seeing if the deadline can be extended. “It’s not about disproving the old story, it’s about seeing the rest of the picture,” she explained. “If we can guide people to this solution-focused and resource-focused response…that’s when you empower them.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Using Mindfulness to Empower Children with Susie Wolbe

Susie Wolbe holds a Doctor of Education in educational supervision with a concentration in curriculum and instruction and has spent 30+ years as an educator in public and private schools, in addition to offering private tutoring or therapy beyond the school day. By making use of mindfulness strategies Susie has learned how to manage life’s (sometimes) overwhelming demands, and she is now committed to helping others do the same, especially as it applies to students, educators and parents. In this episode we learn what parents can do to help their child experience less stress and be more successful through the practice of mindfulness. What you'll learn in this podcast: How to have a school year that is less stressful for students and families How to create a family mission statement How to ensure that your family is making conscious decisions that are aligned with what's most important Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Download a free PDF of materials for creating the perfect home study area Visit DrSusieWolbe.com Follow Susie on Facebook and Twitter
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Born to Love

Humans are social creatures. Sure, some of us like a little solitude now and then, but even introverts need to feel connected, cared for and understood. Our DNA compels us to seek relationships that satisfy those needs. From the most basic viewpoint, the biological need for connection may stem from the survival instinct; propagation and protection of the human species depend on the bonds of our relationships. But love and connection provide much deeper benefits than a simple response to the instinct to survive. Positive relationships contribute to better physical and mental health, longevity and, yes, happiness. Although your closest relationships, those with your partner, children and inner circle of friends, are most essential to your well-being and life fulfillment, feeling connected at work or in your community also contributes to happiness. You may not define your work or social connections as love, but when nurtured, they can stimulate a physical and emotional response that mirrors the benefits of close personal relationships. In his book Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect, UCLA neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman presents evidence that social connection is as important to our survival as food and shelter. In fact, positive relationships are one of the strongest predictors of life satisfaction. In a Harvard study of nearly 300 men over the course of 75 years, having meaningful relationships is identified as the only thing that truly matters in life. George Vaillant, one of the principal researchers, noted in his book Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study that even when the men had money, health and good careers, they weren’t happy unless they had strong, positive relationships. And it isn’t just emotional wellness that love and connection confer. In a recent meta-analysis of 148 smaller studies, researchers at Brigham Young University showed that loneliness and social isolation are just as deadly as obesity, smoking and other extremely negative factors. John Cacioppo, Ph.D., is the director of the University of Chicago’s Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience and has studied the causes and effects of loneliness for many years; he is also the author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. When a person feels socially isolated, John has found, his or her body produces more of the stress hormone cortisol. As time goes on, too much cortisol in the system leads to organ wear and tear, which in turn can lead to a variety of maladies from depression to high blood pressure to major strokes. But if loneliness hurts, love and companionship heal, boosting both our health and our happiness. The biology of love “Just as your body was designed to extract oxygen from the Earth’s atmosphere and nutrients from the foods you ingest, your body was designed to love,” says Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph.D., director of the Positive Emotions & Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a leading researcher on the benefits of connection and the author of Love 2.0: Finding Happiness and Health in Moments of Connection. “Love—like taking a deep breath, or eating an orange when you’re depleted and thirsty—not only feels great but is also life-giving, an indispensable source of energy, sustenance and health,” Barbara says. When you feel loving, kind and trusting toward someone, Barbara says, your brain releases oxytocin into your body. Oxytocin is the calming and connecting hormone. What’s more, when your body releases oxytocin, it can stimulate a release of oxytocin in the other person, Barbara says. That’s why a crying child can often be calmed by a loving parent’s touch. It’s also how mutual trust is fostered in relationships. Besides producing oxytocin when we have warm and trusting feelings for another person, our bodies quell production of the stress hormone cortisol. This tandem event—a boost in oxytocin and a tamping down of cortisol—allows us to handle stressful situations, such as a conflict with a spouse or business person, more easily. Just as important as oxytocin’s role in our ability to connect with others is that of our vagus nerve, which links our brains to our hearts and other organs. The vagus nerve regulates the heartbeat and, working with oxytocin, stimulates the “calm and connect” response, Barbara says. “It stimulates tiny facial muscles that better enable you to make eye contact and synchronize your facial expressions with another person,” she says, adding that it even allows our ears to better distinguish another person’s voice against background noise. Finally, we are built not just to connect and love, but also to share those loving, good vibes. A 20-year study of 4,739 people known as the Framingham Heart Study concluded that happiness is contagious, spreading from person to person. Love is all you need Relationships compose one of the largest pillars upon which our happiness is built. So take time out for the people who matter to you. Deepen your existing relationships and be open to forming new connections. The three stories shared here show how, by nurturing the positive in a variety of relationships—with a spouse, family or one’s co-workers—life becomes rich in the truest sense of the word. Because when considering the famous question, “What’s love got to do with it?” the answer, as far as your happiness is concerned, is everything. Shawn Achor and Michell Gielan: When happiness experts fall in love A former TV reporter and anchor Michelle Gielan had shifted her career path to pursue a master’s in positive psychology. As part of her coursework, Michelle had read—and loved—Shawn Achor’s book The Happiness Advantage. So when she needed a mentor in her new field, she e-mailed the Harvard-trained happiness expert and asked to set up a meeting. It wasn’t the only reason she was looking forward to meeting him. “I had definitely looked at the back flap of the book and seen his picture,” Michelle laughs. A few short months after that first meeting, the two began dating and today they are married and have a toddler son, Leo. Shawn and Michelle knew that having healthy relationships is one of the greatest predictors of long-term happiness. In their own relationship, they’ve learned first-hand that by being intentional every day about the way they interact with each other, they can strengthen their marriage and add to each other’s happiness. “When we see each other for the first time after we’ve been away on a trip or for just a few hours, we always make sure to start our interaction by sharing something positive that’s happening,” Michelle says. Making the initial encounter a positive one sets the tone for the rest of the day. They also help each other recognize less-than-positive attitudes and behaviors so they can be stopped or adjusted. “We call each other out when one of us is going down an unproductive thought path,” Shawn says, “and suddenly you realize that the negativity isn’t going anywhere—it’s just spinning you around on an emotional cycle.” By the same token, when either party is stressed by work, travel or parenthood, the other asks for three good things that are happening at that instant. “So if she asks me to do that, suddenly I’ll realize, yeah, I’m traveling to give a talk on happiness that will help people,” Shawn says. “Or we’re on our way to the airport for a great, fun vacation. Or I’m with the people I love.” During disagreements, Michelle explains that the first thing to consider is that the other person is coming from a place of love. “I know that he’s got my back. So when we have a disagreement, we’re disagreeing about the thing, the event, not the other person fundamentally. And we’re also very big on communicating along the way, talking issues through as they pop up, so that they stay small things and don’t become big things.” Gary and Vicki Flenniken: More to love For 14 years, Gary and Vicki Flenniken lived full, mostly happy lives as a DINK couple (double income, no kids). But they felt that something was missing. They tried for years to have children and finally went through fertility testing. But just three days after Vicki began treatments, Gary’s old friend called in the midst of a family crisis. She told Gary that Child Protective Services (CPS) had removed her sister’s two children—one of whom was an infant—from her home and they were now in the friend’s care. The friend was panicked: She already had four children and felt overwhelmed. Gary and Vicki immediately offered to care for the baby. Suddenly, they were parents. “We brought her into our home with zero preparation. We didn’t have bottles, a bedroom for a baby, diapers; we didn’t have anything,” Gary says. Anything, that is, except love to share in abundance. During the next two years, the Flennikens waded through the long process of adoption and continued to love the little girl, whom they knew could be taken away from them at any moment. “It was an incredibly stressful time that taught us how to pray. We understand lamentations,” he says. “The joy, the relief that finally came when the judge said she was legally ours was overwhelming.” Ten years after welcoming their daughter, Sydney, into their lives, a phone call expanded their family once again. “We got a call from a friend who said her daughter was pregnant and in jail. She asked if we could be of any help finding a place for the baby,” Gary says. After hanging up, he turned to his wife and asked, “Are you ready for a baby?” Months later, Gary and Vicki watched their new adoptive son come into the world. The hospital even prepared a room for them and had Vicki snuggle the newborn on her bare chest to encourage bonding. Concerned that the baby may have been exposed to harmful drugs while still in the womb, doctors kept the baby, Zach, in the hospital for five days to watch for withdrawal symptoms. Because of that concern, hospital staff also contacted CPS to check on the woman’s other three children. A few months later, a caseworker told the Flennikens they needed a home for Zach’s two older brothers, ages 2 and 3. And a few short months after that, their older sister, Kylah, who had been living with her grandmother, joined the family. In less than a year, their family grew from three to seven members. “I wouldn’t trade any of it,” Gary says. For the first time in our life, we’re looking for places where kids eat free on Tuesday nights.” They laugh a lot, but sometimes there are tears, too. “The 2-year-old had been burned in hot water and was just traumatized when we put him in the bathtub the first time,” Vicki recalls. While his older brother splashed and played in the water, the little one screamed, “Hot, hot! Burn, burn!” “For 14 days, he just screamed at bath time, and it broke my heart. The first time he took a bath and didn’t cry, it was amazing,” Vicki says. “It took 14 days for him to trust me. God makes these little people so trusting. We need to learn from that. You can start over, and life can be good again. Now when we say, ‘Hey, it’s bath time,’ he’s the first one running up the stairs.” Gary and Vicki expect there to be ups and downs as the children grow and bond with them, but, says Gary, “We are blessed beyond belief, and we want people to know that adopting is a way to bring joy not just to the child, but to the entire family. We couldn’t be happier.” Jenn Lim and Ton Hsieh: Happy at work A 2013 Gallup report, State of the American Workplace, shows that happy workers are good for business: They’re more productive, more loyal and make the office a more enjoyable place to work. Jenn Lim, chief happiness officer of the Zappos spinoff consulting group Delivering Happiness, can attest to that: She was instrumental in helping Zappos founder Tony Hsieh create an environment where employees feel respected, cared for and connected. In 2003, the company was growing and its customer service was unparalleled, but the culture needed some work. Tony suggested that Zappos should hire people whom existing employees might “also enjoy hanging out with after work,” he recalls in his book Delivering Happiness. A movement was born, starting with the development of 10 core values based on input from everyone in the company. Two of those values include “Build open and honest relationships with communication” and “Build a positive team and family spirit.” Living up to these core values is part of an employee’s job description. One of the most enduring aspects of Zappos’ culture—one that has defined it from the start—is its sense of connectedness. “We are more than just a team—we are a family,” Tony explains in Delivering Happiness, where he tells how this quality is driven home by Robin P., an employee who lost her husband very suddenly. Robin’s first phone call conveying the news was not to a relative, but to her employer, Zappos. “That one action made me realize the strong connection I felt with my co-workers and the Zappos culture. It was essentially my home away from home.” Zappos gave her the time she needed, volunteered to cater the funeral service, offered her a shoulder to cry on and was her “refuge” and “healing place.” “We watch out for each other,” Tony says in Delivering Happiness, “care for each other, and go above and beyond for each other, because we believe in each other and we trust each other. We work together, but we also play together. Our bonds go far beyond the typical co-worker relationships found at most companies.” Jenn echoes this sentiment. “A sense of connectedness, that is, meaningful relationships, is one of the most sustainable forms of happiness. Relationships matter because people don’t show up to work because they have to—but because they want to be with their friends, their tribe. And they matter because people tend to go above and beyond when they share mutual respect and trust.” This excerpt is from the book Live Happy: 10 Practices for Choosing Joy, available online and at bookstores near you. Deborah K. Heisz is the CEO and Editorial Director of Live Happy.
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Happy 40-something woman lifting weights in the park.

Top 5 Fitness Tips for People Over 40

Exercise just may be the magical key that unlocks happiness. Science tells us that exercise improves mood, fights depression, enhances quality of sleep, reduces stress and prevents disease. And according to a study published in Medicine & Science in Sports and Exercise, regular exercise can actually slow the aging process. If you are north of 40, keep your body strong and your energy up with our best exercise advice. 1. Choose something you love If you see exercise as a chore, you are less likely to experience its benefits because you probably won’t stick with it in the long-term. Find an exercise you love and you don’t have to go in search of your motivation. No one has to drag you out of bed to do something you love. Experiment until you find a type of exercise that makes you happy. The feel-good emotions can also help you stick with exercise long-term. In his book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and theBrain, Dr. John Ratey, associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard, writes, “When we begin exercising, we almost immediately begin releasing dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. Those are all neurotransmitters that deal with feelings of reward, alertness, contentment and feelings of wellbeing.” What to do: What exercise did you love as a child? Use your answer as inspiration to find an exercise you love as an adult. Ride a bike. Go for a hike. Swim laps or try water aerobics. Take up Pilates or the newest class at your gym. 2. Strength train If making yourself exercise is a tall order, you might be immediately dismissive of strength training. However, “doing some form of strength training is mandatory as we age,” says national fitness trainer and founder of GetHealthyU Chris Freytag. “You can use dumbbells, resistance bands or your bodyweight, but muscle is the best way to rev up your metabolism as you age, and it’s something you have control over,” Chris says. “Muscle tissue can burn three to five times more calories than fat does. So the more muscle you have, the more calories you will burn, even while sitting,” Chris explains. Strength training also slows bone and muscle loss as you age and keeps your body strong for everyday activities like taking the stairs and gardening. “As people age, there needs to be a stronger emphasis on functional movement and activities that are performed in daily life, such as squatting and pushing doors open,” says Mary Edwards, MS, director of fitness and a professional fitness trainer at Cooper Fitness Center. “Strength training helps increase muscle strength in the limbs and core, which are most important as people age. American College of Sports Medicine recommends strength training, especially for those ages 56 and up as important for maintaining functional movement, balance and power.” You don’t need to invest much time with strength training to see results. What to do: “Working with weights or your body weight for as little as 20 minutes for two to three days a week can crank up your resting metabolic rate over time,” Chris says. If you are using your body weight, try pushups, squats, lunges and planks. 3. Mix it up If you love to jog or love to run, you might just want to stick to your favorite workout day in and day out, but your body needs a mix of cardio (for your cardiovascular health) and weight training (for your body’s strength). Founder and chairman at Cooper Aerobics Center and practicing preventative physician, Dr. Kenneth H. Cooper prescribes the following ratio of aerobic training vs. strength training for maximum health benefits as we age: If you’re 40 years old or younger, devote 80 percent of your workout time to aerobic training and 20 percent to strength training. If you’re 41 to 50 years old, shift to 70 percent aerobic and 30 percent strength work. If you’re 51 to 60, do 60 percent aerobic exercise and 40 percent strength training. After you pass 60, divide your workout time more evenly between the two strategies – while still giving an edge to aerobic exercise, which provides the most health benefits: 55 percent aerobic work and 45 percent strength work. What to do: Sometimes people are intimidated by the weight rooms or weight machines at gyms. You can strength train using your own body weight by holding planks, doing pushups and situps, wall-sits, lunges and squats. Or buy some hand weights and do some workouts at home. There are lots of online workouts both free and subscription-based. 4. Set a goal and track your progress Write down the workouts you do on a calendar you see daily. Seeing your efforts in writing (or on your phone) gives you a boost and a sense of accomplishment. As happiness expert Shawn Achor says, “Happiness is the joy you feel striving toward your potential.” Use what you’ve done to fuel your motivation to do more. A goal can be a powerful reminder to exercise consistently. What to do: Set a goal that holds you accountable. Maybe it’s signing up for a race, a desire to see muscle tone in the mirror, or working out a certain number of times per week. Keep going until you reach that goal. 5. Stretch “After age 30, we start losing elasticity in our tendons and ligaments, making them tight,” Mary says. “As we age, stretching helps us maintain a good range of motion in the muscles, allowing joints to operate at normal functionality so they’re not limited.” What to do: Make it a practice to stretch regularly when your body is already warmed up. American College of Sports Medicine recommends stretching muscles surrounding major joints two to three times per week, while holding each stretch for 60 seconds. The best advice from all the experts? Keep moving. “As people age, the body changes and injury can occur, so dysfunction can creep in, Mary says. “Focus on what you can do, not what your limitations are.” Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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Illustration of woman writing in gratitude journal.

4 Gratitude Rituals to Increase Kindness and Joy

The holidays are a reminder to take inventory of all the blessings we have in our lives. Making gratitude a habit can have positive benefits to your own happiness as well as those around you by creating stronger bonds in your relationships, finding kindness in others and carving new “good mood” grooves into your brain. What’s more, these gratitude rituals are relatively simple to do and can be performed anywhere at any time. Here are a few tips for you to practice on your own or as a family. Ritual 1: Amazing Grace The dinner table is a great place to reflect and reinforce our feelings of gratitude. Before you break bread, start at one end of the table and encourage every person to share something they are thankful for in their lives. In Anne K. Fishel’s book Home for Dinner, she writes, “Rituals help create a shared family identity and sense of belonging.” By creating this time together, Anne says you can add meaning and stability to the family unit and set a positive tone for the rest of the meal. Ritual 2: Focus on the Haves Write down three positive things you are grateful for every night before you go to bed. Keeping a journal and a pen on the nightstand will serve as a reminder and help you establish this ritual. For the tech savvy, gratitude apps on your phone, such as Feed Your Happy and Gratitude Journal, are also a practical way to practice. Research shows that gratitude journaling can put you in a dramatically better mood and even prolong that feeling for weeks and months the more you practice. To beat the negativity bias, gratitude opens up your brain to attract positivity like bees to honey. Read more: Start a Journal, Change Your Life Ritual 3: The Write Stuff Think of someone in your life who has made a significant positive impact and write a letter expressing how much that person means to you. If possible, meet this person face-to-face and read the letter aloud. Notice the person’s reaction and savor those moments to recall in the future. Martin Seligman, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and founding member of positive psychology, introduced this gratitude exercise to his students. The assignment has proven to be a powerful display of humanity and is now the most popular portion of his positive psychology course. Ritual 4: Thankful Awareness Try a new experience with the family and look for teachable moments, such as volunteering at a food bank or handing out gifts at a children’s hospital. Sometimes, the best way to appreciate all of the good in our own world is to take a moment to bear witness to the situations of those who are suffering. Gratitude in the face of adversity can help us weather the storms, provide a greater perspective to the plight of others and strengthen social bonds. Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of Buddha’s Brain, says “sustained present moment awareness” can open our eyes to a world outside of our brains and help us “rest attention on the beneficial experiences of everyday life which are the building blocks of the inner strengths that we all want, like resilience, gratitude and love.” Read more: 8 Easy Practices to Enhance Gratitude Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Diverse group of people holding a globe.

World Happiness Summit: What You Need to Know

The inaugural World Happiness Summit (WoHaSu) is on its way to Miami, March 17–19, just in time to celebrate the International Day of Happiness. Miami, named by Forbes magazine as “the happiest city to work in the United States,” will welcome thousands to its international gathering with the promise of Latin flair and fun that will include a main summit as well as government, corporate and academic tracks. Live Happy recently had the opportunity to talk with WoHaSu founder Luis Gallardo to find out more. Live Happy: What inspired you to create the World Happiness Summit (WoHaSu) and what is the focus of the summit? Luis Gallardo: The inspiration came from the realization that we are living in a moment when more and more people care about the well-being of others and are focusing on being, rather than doing. Being is related to the self and living our purpose, doing is related to what we do regardless of our purpose. This is the right time to build an event that focuses on something that is fundamental to everyone: developing, innovating and making society more sustainable and friendly—with the ultimate focus on being happy. If you look at nutrition, preventive medicine, corporate well-being, spirituality, financial well-being, positive psychology—there are so many people in the world doing an amazing job of provoking change. We want to bring them together but with a focus: discussing how we can be happier. It is important to understand that happiness is reached through a holistic combination of abstract elements, like mindfulness and virtue, and material elements like work, personal liberties, good governance and social bonds. We are creating a movement dedicated to increasing awareness on happiness as a life choice; WoHaSu is a new forum focused on how to improve GNH (Gross National and Personal Happiness) instead of GNP (Gross National Product). The same way the World Economic Forum was born 45 years ago to focus on the economy and corporations, we want to start a new movement to focus on happiness and people. New lenses are needed for a world in transformation. LH: Why do you think people today are increasingly interested in the pursuit of happiness? LG: The science of happiness is somewhat new, but the data is very definitive. Leading experts and thought leaders in the different disciplines that compose happiness agree that being wealthier, having more or achieving a task alone doesn’t seem to be fulfilling people or making them more productive and healthier, but happiness will help individuals achieve purpose and be more successful with a stronger sense of well-being. Richard Layard, the British economist, states it wisely: “The time is ready for radical cultural change, away from a culture of selfishness and materialism, which fails to satisfy, towards one where we care more for each other's happiness—and make that the guiding raison d'être for our lives.”' LH: Who should consider attending and what can they expect to experience? LG: Whether you’re an employer who understands the relationships between well-being and workforce performance, a nonprofit or international organization focused on positive outcomes in your development work, a government that wants to improve the economic health of a population, or simply an individual who wants to live better, the World Happiness Summit shines a spotlight on what matters most in people’s daily lives as a critical step toward personal fulfillment. It is an extraordinary occasion and platform to explore best practices, policies, challenges and partnerships around increasing happiness in our families, communities, cities and around the world. LH: Tell us more about the program for the main summit. LG: Feel, Understand and Act is the flow of the summit. We are creating an experience that touches all five senses and features the expertise and inspiration of speakers such as Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Shawn Achor, Sonja Lyubomirsky and Ismael Cala. We are also partnering with technology companies such as Plasticity Labs to expand the World Happiness Summit experience to an online year-round community and beloved brands such as Lululemon, a yoga-inspired athletic apparel company that plans to draw thousands of yoga practitioners to the event. LH: What are your goals for the event? LG: WoHaSuis more than a conference but the start of a global movementto increase awareness of the elements of happiness—and how to achieve them. Our goal is to educate and activate for happiness as a life choice and practice. The summit brings together scientists, psychologists, philosophers, spiritual leaders and cultural icons in a three-day conferencethat’s the first of its kind. LH: We heard a rumor that there will be yoga, Zumba and nightly dance parties with international music artists. Can you fill us in on some of the exciting details? LG: We will hold one of the biggest yoga activations on the beaches of Miami Beach and Zumba enthusiasts from around the world will participate in a huge dance party. Latin Grammy-award-winning composer and producer Kike Santander will curate nightly concerts that will enhance the party atmosphere. There will be time for introspection and time for expression. Happiness has to be shared and enjoyed. LH: How can Live Happy readers learn more? LG: Come to our website at HappinessSummit.world or happytimes.world to find out more. We are also active on social media; tweet us @WOHASU/#WOHASU. We hope you will join us in Miami! Donna Stokes is the Executive Editor of Live Happy magazine.
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Live Happy Brain Hacks

5 Happiness Hacks for Your Brain

If you think happiness is all in your mind, you’re on the right track. “The mind is an expression of brain function,” explains Daniel Amen, a psychiatrist and 10-time New York Times best-selling author. How your mind and brain interact is crucial to happiness, so Daniel is on a mission to make people more aware of how to better care for their brains. “The idea is to get people to fall in love with their brain, then create a plan to take care of it. We want people to love their brains the way a parent loves a child—to be loving, thoughtful and responsible about caring for it.” To do that, we have to understand more about how the brain works and what role it plays in our happiness. A key player in the equation is the vagus nerve, that large nerve that starts in your brain and runs throughout your body. Often called “the love nerve” because it’s interconnected with our oxytocin networks, it helps us communicate and empathize with others. When we take a deep breath and our heart rate slows, that’s the vagus nerve in action. It counteracts inflammation, improves memory and bolsters our body’s immune function. People with stronger vagal nerve responses have better connections with others and stronger social support networks; they are compassionate and tend to experience more positive emotions than those with weaker vagal nerve responses, according to Dacher Keltner, Ph.D., author of Born to Be Good and founding director of the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley. Regardless of where you are in your happiness journey, you can improve your brain function—and boost your level of happiness—with a few simple tweaks. Path 1) Meditation: Something to think about Meditation has certainly earned its reputation as a powerful tool for cultivating a sense of calm, compassion and happiness. “Meditation activates the prefrontal cortex, which is the most human, caring part of our brains,” Daniel says. “It can calm the limbic emotional structures in your mind. People think it will be hard and they can’t do it, but it’s not…and there are so many benefits to it.” Research shows that an active meditation practice can help with emotional self-regulation and improve focus. It can lead to higher functioning of the brain and central nervous system, reduce anxiety and depression, protect us from cognitive decline and even reduce certain biological markers of disease progression. Meditation also increases vagal tone, which affects how well we connect with others. And, according to a study led by Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, the greater the vagal tone, the lower the risk for cardiovascular disease and the stronger our immune function. Meditation Hacks: 1. Give it three weeks Sign up for a free 21-day online course of your choice to get in the habit of meditating every day. 2. Get appy Download a meditation app such as Buddhify or Headspace to help guide you through meditations. 3. Take a hike Try a walking meditation. Leave the phone behind, walk outside and mindfully notice the sights, sounds and scents of nature. 4. Enlist your dog (or cat or bunny or hamster) Petting a beloved animal is perhaps one of the most enjoyable meditations you can practice. Focus on the act of petting the animal while slowing your breath; both you and your pet will receive a flood of feel-good endorphins. 5. Schedule it Putting time for meditation on your calendar makes you more likely to follow through. Path 2) Sleep: We’re Just Not Getting It It seems we spend more time talking about what we’re doing in bed than we actually spend doing it. Thousands of books have been written about today’s sleep-deprived world, and no fewer than 150 medical journals are devoted to the topic of sleep and sleep disorders. The bottom line? Losing shut-eye has a direct effect on our happiness. Research by Matthew Walker, Ph.D., a neuroscientist at the University of California, Berkeley, found a sleep-deprived brain quickly reverts to primitive behavior and makes our emotional behavior irrational. He also found that sleep loss affects memory and learning, and impedes the immune system’s ability to repair itself. “Sleep is restorative,” explains Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D., author and research associate at the Mind-Body Science Institute International. “We need it to control our happiness. If we don’t get enough sleep, or the right kind of sleep, we wake up anxious or with a jumpy energy.” Whether or not our vagus nerve is getting sufficient stimulation directly affects how well we sleep, according to Mladen Golubic, Ph.D., of the Center for Integrative & Lifestyle Medicine at the Cleveland Clinic. That’s because a stimulated vagal nerve releases anti-stress hormones that make it easier to get a good night’s sleep. (You can stimulate it through deep breathing for about 10 minutes.) Setting the stage for your mind to get a good night’s sleep affects the quality of the sleep you get, too. That’s why watching the evening news or a violent movie right before hitting the hay isn’t a great idea. “If you fill your mind with anxiety-producing ideas, it’s working with stressful information while you sleep, so you aren’t getting the kind of psychological restoration you need,” Joseph says. He adds that studies show simply reading something with meaning can help us feel more “virtuous” and put us in the right frame of mind to fall asleep. As a result, we’ll wake up feeling healthier and happier the next day. Sleep Hacks: 1. Keep it cool Your body’s temperature drops when you sleep and this lowered temperature helps induce sleep. 2. Write it out Expressing your feelings in a journal instead of taking them to bed with you can cut down on the tossing and turning. 3. Go dark LED clocks and digital devices send out lights even when they’re technically turned off, and that can keep you from falling asleep. Pull the plug, cover the light with tape, or do whatever it takes to get rid of the glare. 4. Sound it out Listening to a soothing soundtrack can help you relax and fall asleep faster. 5. Breathe Deep belly breathing before going to sleep helps your entire body relax. Path 3) Food: Starved for Happiness Food choices play a huge role in our overall health, but most of us aren’t thinking about brain cells when we sit down to eat. As the main source of communication between the stomach and the brain, the vagus nerve plays a substantial role in the digestive process as well as in how we react to food choices. When the vagus nerve is out of whack, it can lead to digestive disorders or even conditions like anorexia and bulimia. In studies, individuals with stimulated vagus nerves were less likely to experience food cravings or overeat. “Most people simply haven’t considered how much food affects their emotional health,” explains Drew Ramsey, psychiatrist and author of Eat Complete. “People think there’s a single food they should add to their diet or stop eating that’s a miracle cure, but that’s not the case. It’s about your overall dietary patterns.” Eating for happiness means giving both your brain and your body what they need to function at their optimum health. We require certain nutrients to function at our best. “Omega-3 fats, zinc, magnesium and vitamin E are all critical brain nutrients that the majority of Americans aren’t meeting the recommended daily allowance (RDA) for,” Drew says. And that’s taking its toll. A diet high in processed foods and sugar is linked to mood disorders; a 2014 study led by Australia’s Felice N. Jacka at Deakin University (she is now also an honorary research fellow at the University of Melbourne) showed that subjects with an unhealthy diet were predisposed to develop depression. And a New Zealand study published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition found a solid link between a high-quality diet and positive emotional health in students. “Food is the most clear modifiable risk factor for both depression and dementia,” Drew says. “When you have low levels of B12 and omega-3s, your brain shrinks faster. Once you start making changes, you feel it. You are less sluggish, you sleep better, you feel better.” Repeatedly consuming the wrong foods leads to a chronic state of inflammation that contributes to disease. Making healthy changes to your diet can power up your immune system, keep your brain firing on all cylinders and make you feel happier. “The great thing is, it’s something you get to work on every day at every meal,” he says. “And it has a cumulative effect. When you end a week where you’ve made good food decisions, your brain is better nourished and you’re happier. It’s like night and day.” Food Hacks: 1. Get fat(s) The right fats are crucial for a happy, healthy brain. (Think olive oil, coconut oil and omega-3s.) 2. Eat a rainbow Add colorful fruits and vegetables to your diet…not just every day, but every meal. 3. Keep it natural Today’s foods are loaded with dyes, preservatives and trans fats that are bad for our waistlines and even worse for our brains. Avoid them. 4. Get nutty Nuts are linked to higher levels of serotonin, which makes you feel calmer and happier. 5. Go fish Seafood is loaded with healthy omega-3 fats as well as selenium, iodine, B12 and more. Path 4) Language: What Are Words For? We use words every day. We read them, speak them, sometimes shout them; what we’re failing to do, says Jeffrey Gignac, is think about them. “We overuse or misuse words because we don’t understand what they do,” explains Jeffrey, an expert in brainwave entrainment, which uses sound, light and electrical impulses to stimulate the brain into entering a specific state. “In recent years, neuroscience has [recognized] how language can program the subconscious brain. The role of the subconscious mind is to follow the direction of the conscious mind.” Learning to talk to our subconscious in healthy ways helps redirect the mental chatter that occurs in the backgrounds of our minds, regardless of whether we’re aware of it or not. Watching what we say and learning to put a positive spin on our language patterns can make the difference in the direction our thoughts and conversations go. “A lot of language has to do with intention, the order of words and emotionality,” Jeffrey says. “The way you choose your words changes the entire feeling about it.” In their book Words Can Change Your Brain, authors Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, and Mark Robert Waldman present research showing that positive words like “peace” and “love” promote cognitive functioning and strengthen the frontal lobe of the brain. Since the vagus nerve responds to our thoughts—and therefore our words—the use of positive words empowers it to send positive messages to our hearts as well as our heads. On the flip side, a single negative word sends the amygdala—also known as the brain’s fear center—into overdrive, releasing disruptive stress hormones that can shut down the logic and reasoning centers of the brain. We can offset some of the effects of negative language by holding a positive or optimistic word in our minds. This helps stimulate that happy, healthy frontal lobe activity. However, the first step, according to Jeffrey, is to understand the power of words and evaluate their use more carefully. Are you really dying to find out how that TV show ends? Is it truly killing you? Think about it and then decide if that’s the message you want your brain to send out to the rest of your body. “If people really make language important and start thinking about the effect it has on them and the people they’re interacting with every day, they can make monumental changes very easily,” Jeffrey says. “One of the biggest components of fear and anxiety and negative thinking is language.” Language Hacks: Five words to delete from your vocabulary, and why: 1. But When we hear “but,” our minds automatically negate what was said before that. 2. Should This pressure word can be interpreted as judgmental, and puts others on the defensive. 3. You Sure, this is an important pronoun, but when it’s used improperly it can quickly make other people feel like they have to defend themselves. 4. Need Another pressure word that triggers the fight or flight response in our brains. 5. Try Yoda said it best: “Do or do not. There is no try.” Path 5) Smell: Scents and Sensibilities All five senses contribute to our overall well-being, but smell is the first to get the brain’s attention. “Scent hits our memory banks faster than anything else,” explains Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D. “It’s the fastest-moving sensory detail we have.” That’s because we have 5 million to 6 million cells in our nasal passages standing by for one purpose: to detect odors. When we smell something, our brain processes it for taste and memory, while the vagus nerve sends an immediate signal to the stomach. Our physical reaction to scent is so powerful that studies have even used scents to control vagal activity as a means of regulating such things as blood pressure, body temperature and appetite. The chain reaction to smell happens in a millisecond and, before your brain can even process the name of the scent, it has triggered our limbic system, which is responsible for our basic emotions. If there’s a strong memory associated with the smell, the effects are even more dramatic. “Scents connected to the holidays are very powerful because we associate them with other holiday memories,” Joseph says. “Or if my wife wears the cologne she wore when we first started dating, it’s an aphrodisiac.” He says once we understand the power of smell, we can use it to boost our well-being. Studying for an exam with a certain scent in the room boosts our ability to memorize facts, research shows, and today more science is focusing on the effects of scent and how it can be used to regulate emotions. One Japanese study found that inhaling essential oils could help us relax. Joseph says that’s a simple but powerful tool to have on hand. “Say you’re heading into traffic and know you get stressed out by it; you can use scents that calm you down in the car,” he says, suggesting that people experiment individually with different scents in non-stressful situations to discover how they react. “As you get used to using scent to ramp up or calm down, it will work faster each time, because of the memory component,” he explains. “You’re creating new circuits in the brain and literally changing the way your brain operates in those situations.” Scent Hacks: 1. Make a list Create a scent “cheat sheet” to know what works for you. 2. Prime your environment Use scent to boost your learning power for work or school by diffusing a certain smell…then smelling it again immediately before making your presentation or taking a test. 3. Give yourself a boost Try using mint, eucalyptus and citrus scents to energize and uplift you. 4. Mellow out To calm down in a stressful situation, try using wood scents or lavender. 5. Create a memory/scent link Since scent and memory are so closely connected, intentionally use scents to “lock in” a new memory of something positive. You’ll then be able to revisit that new happy memory in an instant with a single whiff. Daniel Amen suggests we make “doing the right thing for our brains” our top priority. He and his wife, Tana Amen, will release their book The Brain Warrior's Way in November, which looks at how to boost your brain to improve your health, energy and mood. He says the time has come for us to rethink the role our brains play in our overall well-being and to start taking them seriously. “For a long time, nobody cared about brains because they couldn’t see them,” he says. “You can see wrinkles in your skin or fat around your belly; you can’t see what’s changing in your brain. But it’s the black box for everything else that’s happening inside of you.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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