Happy mom and daughter blowing bubbles outside.

How You Can Inspire Happiness in Others

A few years ago, Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan, a married pair of happiness researchers and Live Happy contributors, produced a PBS program dedicated to research that shows happiness is a choice. The studies they shared explained how a positive brain can increase your energy by 31 percent, triple your creativity, significantly boost your intelligence and even improve your health. In spite of all these benefits, however, it can be hard to stay happy when others around you are negative or stressed. This December, PBS will begin broadcasting Shawn and Michelle’s new program,Inspire Happiness, on how you can help make the people close to you happier and more positive—and in doing so, also make it easier for you to find happiness. Recently, Live Happy CEO and Editorial Director Deborah Heisz sat down with the couple to discuss their powerful new research. DEBORAH: Can you tell us why the focus of your research recently shifted? MICHELLE: We’ve come to see that making others happier is the primary way we can create and sustain real meaning and happiness for ourselves. We all have someone in our lives who is struggling. We’ve tried to help that person feel happier. We want our spouse to think that happiness is a choice. We want our parents to be optimistic about their future. We want our kids to feel strong and confident. But when it doesn’t work, we start to believe we can’t change others. SHAWN: Society says you can’t change other people so don’t even try. But I know that’s wrong, not only because of the researchbut also because of what I have seen watching my father since I was young. Earlier this year, after 38 years of being a neuroscience professor, my father retired. His research from early in his career helped start the entire neuroscience field. But my father never made the rank or pay of a full professor. Instead of focusing on research, he accepted five times the number of advisees as the average professor. My father, like many people, chose impact over pay and prestige. While he sent hundreds of students to medical school, he also sat with crying students who didn’t get in. And he showed them how they could find different and perhaps better paths. He successfully shifted the mindsets of other people—helping them think in happier, more constructive ways. While I was speaking at his retirement, our 2-year-old son, Leo, ran up to the stage, and I held him for the second half of the talk. Here I was, a proud son talking about his father, and also a proud father holding his son, and things started to make sense in a new way. I thought I already wanted everything for Leo—to be happy, creative, a bright light. But as I reflected on my father while holding my son, I realized that I want too little for my son. I don’t just want him to be happy; I want him to make everyone around him happier. I don’t just want him to be creative; I want him to make everyone around him more creative. I don’t just want him to be a bright light; I want him to also make others shine brighter. True potential is not measured just by your own attributes, but by how much power you have to change others. We can impact people’s happiness in dramatic ways and transform their lives’ trajectories." —Shawn Achor DEBORAH: And studies from positive psychology—both your own and from other researchers in the  field—support the fact that changing others is possible? MICHELLE: In one example, researchers at University of California, Riverside, found that if you have three people in a room, two of the people will be influenced by the mood of the most expressive person in the room. The mood of three participants was tested before asking them to sit together for just two minutes without saying a word. After that, their moods were tested again. In repeated experiments, two of the participants experienced a change in mood—because of the third, more expressive person. If that person was frowning or crossing arms, the other two felt less happy. If the most expressive person was smiling or relaxed, it made the others feel more positive. DEBORAH: You share five research-based communication strategies in your PBS program to shift others’ mindsets to be more positive, empowered and resilient, especially in the face of adversity. Can you share one of them with us now? SHAWN: There are times when we want certain behaviors from other people—but some limiting thought is holding them back. For instance, your son is smart but clearly not applying himself when preparing for tests, or your spouse who used to help around the house has recently stopped. Instead of complaining, we’ve found in our research that the stronger approach is to compliment them for their good behaviors. Get them to see how they are actually a good student who works hard or a helper at home, and the more you strengthen that identity, the more likely they are to engage in these positive behaviors. MICHELLE: For one week, take a break from pointing out another person’s problems and instead launch what we call a “right” campaign. Call that person out for what he is doing right! Make his first thought about himself positive and active. Figure out how you want this person to change, and start encouraging him to see himself as that type of person. So who will you target with your right campaign? This approach works with bosses by pointing out how understanding they’ve been, or with your kids when you talk about how responsible they are. SHAWN: When we were putting Leo to bed, we found that it would backfire when we’d say, “OK, you HAVE to stay in your crib tonight.” His response would be, “Nope. Downstairs. Trucks.” Instead, we’ve found a lot of success by telling him what a good boy he is; what a good sleeper he is. He now goes to bed trying to live up to our high opinion of him instead of being determined to rebel against our demand. A University of Pennsylvania Wharton School of Business study found that the more you strengthen someone’s identity as a giver, the more generous he or she is in giving back to the school. This works in many domains of identity. Here is a quick video teaser of Shawn and Michelle's upcoming PBS show Inspire Happiness. Want to learn more? Sign up for Shawn and Michelle's "Wake Up & Inspire Happiness" Video Workshop at Broadcastinghappiness.com/happiness.
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Diverse group of people holding a globe.

World Happiness Summit: What You Need to Know

The inaugural World Happiness Summit (WoHaSu) is on its way to Miami, March 17–19, just in time to celebrate the International Day of Happiness. Miami, named by Forbes magazine as “the happiest city to work in the United States,” will welcome thousands to its international gathering with the promise of Latin flair and fun that will include a main summit as well as government, corporate and academic tracks. Live Happy recently had the opportunity to talk with WoHaSu founder Luis Gallardo to find out more. Live Happy: What inspired you to create the World Happiness Summit (WoHaSu) and what is the focus of the summit? Luis Gallardo: The inspiration came from the realization that we are living in a moment when more and more people care about the well-being of others and are focusing on being, rather than doing. Being is related to the self and living our purpose, doing is related to what we do regardless of our purpose. This is the right time to build an event that focuses on something that is fundamental to everyone: developing, innovating and making society more sustainable and friendly—with the ultimate focus on being happy. If you look at nutrition, preventive medicine, corporate well-being, spirituality, financial well-being, positive psychology—there are so many people in the world doing an amazing job of provoking change. We want to bring them together but with a focus: discussing how we can be happier. It is important to understand that happiness is reached through a holistic combination of abstract elements, like mindfulness and virtue, and material elements like work, personal liberties, good governance and social bonds. We are creating a movement dedicated to increasing awareness on happiness as a life choice; WoHaSu is a new forum focused on how to improve GNH (Gross National and Personal Happiness) instead of GNP (Gross National Product). The same way the World Economic Forum was born 45 years ago to focus on the economy and corporations, we want to start a new movement to focus on happiness and people. New lenses are needed for a world in transformation. LH: Why do you think people today are increasingly interested in the pursuit of happiness? LG: The science of happiness is somewhat new, but the data is very definitive. Leading experts and thought leaders in the different disciplines that compose happiness agree that being wealthier, having more or achieving a task alone doesn’t seem to be fulfilling people or making them more productive and healthier, but happiness will help individuals achieve purpose and be more successful with a stronger sense of well-being. Richard Layard, the British economist, states it wisely: “The time is ready for radical cultural change, away from a culture of selfishness and materialism, which fails to satisfy, towards one where we care more for each other's happiness—and make that the guiding raison d'être for our lives.”' LH: Who should consider attending and what can they expect to experience? LG: Whether you’re an employer who understands the relationships between well-being and workforce performance, a nonprofit or international organization focused on positive outcomes in your development work, a government that wants to improve the economic health of a population, or simply an individual who wants to live better, the World Happiness Summit shines a spotlight on what matters most in people’s daily lives as a critical step toward personal fulfillment. It is an extraordinary occasion and platform to explore best practices, policies, challenges and partnerships around increasing happiness in our families, communities, cities and around the world. LH: Tell us more about the program for the main summit. LG: Feel, Understand and Act is the flow of the summit. We are creating an experience that touches all five senses and features the expertise and inspiration of speakers such as Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Shawn Achor, Sonja Lyubomirsky and Ismael Cala. We are also partnering with technology companies such as Plasticity Labs to expand the World Happiness Summit experience to an online year-round community and beloved brands such as Lululemon, a yoga-inspired athletic apparel company that plans to draw thousands of yoga practitioners to the event. LH: What are your goals for the event? LG: WoHaSuis more than a conference but the start of a global movementto increase awareness of the elements of happiness—and how to achieve them. Our goal is to educate and activate for happiness as a life choice and practice. The summit brings together scientists, psychologists, philosophers, spiritual leaders and cultural icons in a three-day conferencethat’s the first of its kind. LH: We heard a rumor that there will be yoga, Zumba and nightly dance parties with international music artists. Can you fill us in on some of the exciting details? LG: We will hold one of the biggest yoga activations on the beaches of Miami Beach and Zumba enthusiasts from around the world will participate in a huge dance party. Latin Grammy-award-winning composer and producer Kike Santander will curate nightly concerts that will enhance the party atmosphere. There will be time for introspection and time for expression. Happiness has to be shared and enjoyed. LH: How can Live Happy readers learn more? LG: Come to our website at HappinessSummit.world or happytimes.world to find out more. We are also active on social media; tweet us @WOHASU/#WOHASU. We hope you will join us in Miami! Donna Stokes is the Executive Editor of Live Happy magazine.
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Face down any challenge

Face Down Any Challenge With This Advice

On one of our first dates, we sat across the table from each other at a sushi restaurant in Chicago and shared stories of growing up in the midst of financial challenges. Shawn’s parents were educators in Waco, Texas, who struggled with credit card debts and as a result did not have enough money to pay for him to go to college. Michelle’s parents made it big with a computer consulting practice in Washington, D.C., before the recession caused them to lose their home. We are taught not to talk about such things. But if we don’t discuss our challenges, when we find ourselves in troubling times, we feel lost and lonely and cut off from help. These moments could be a source of bonding, healing and learning instead. Those childhood financial difficulties are the very reason we taught ourselves to be fiscally responsible and to save even when things are going well. We are grateful for those tough times as they made us who we are today. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" Sometimes the stressful events that we run from are the same ones that cause us to develop the best and strongest parts of ourselves. In a study we conducted at five companies, including UBS, we found that approximately 90 percent of events that had the biggest positive impacts on people were also high-stress situations. In this study, research participants were asked to list five pivot points in their lives that changed them and made them who they are today. On average, 80 percent of those points were seemingly negative, including losing a job, failing on a project at work or getting dumped by an ex. This reminds us that not only can stressful events be beneficial, but also that we should rethink our knee-jerk responses of trying to avoid them in the first place. We need to stop running from discomfort. Too often we are afraid of what can happen if we take a leap or get out of our comfort zones. We stay stuck in dead-end jobs and toxic relationships. We figure the familiar everyday unhappiness is better than the possible calamitous result if we were to make a change. We run from the risk of unhappiness, and as a result we stay in a less desirable present. Face your challenges We have a Marine friend who takes pride in the fact that Marines run toward conflict while others flee. What we flee from we begin to fear more. Facing our own challenges and developing an empowered mindset can help us weather the storm better than a fear-based one. Just like a workout can be uncomfortable or even painful, the mental and physical benefits often make it worth it. If we don’t show up to the gym in the first place because we fear those negative feelings, we will never know what we are capable of. If we show up ready to tackle the workout, that makes it all go more smoothly. What are you fleeing from? If you’re facing something that is either making you unhappy now or threatening to do so, we encourage you to think through the following takeaways based on our research on people who run toward unhappiness and prevail. 1. Be conscious of the narrative: Your brain quickly constructs a story around events, and some of those narratives are helpful while others are not. Ask yourself what narrative you’ve derived from this unhappy experience. (Ideally you are looking for something that will serve you in the retelling and make you a better person.) Helpful stories include facts about what you’ve learned from the experience and how you’ve grown as a result. Identifying ways in which you actually benefited from the experience can help you move forward. 2. Identify with strength: You are probably a strong person or you would not have made it this far. At this point life has probably dealt you a handful of hard circumstances. List them and reflect on the strength you accessed (which you might not have been aware of at the time) to overcome them. By reminding your brain how strong you are, you bolster that positive resource, which you can then tap into to help you in the face of your current challenge. 3. Find support: We say this nearly every day: Social support is the greatest predictor of long-term happiness. To overcome stressful events, a few supportive people in your life can make all the difference. Even though your first instinct might be to hole up and go it alone, resist that urge. Reach out to trusted friends or family, or find a community of supportive people like a church group or AA. Since we all have our pivotal stories to share, knowing that you’re not alone as you go through a difficult time can make all the difference. For us, just learning that we both experienced financial troubles in childhood was incredibly bonding. That became yet one more benefit to having gone through those experiences in the first place—and the start of a beautiful relationship! SHAWN ACHOR is best-selling author of the The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness. Shawn’s TED Talk is one of the most popular ever, with over 5 million views, and his PBS program has been seen by millions. Learn more about Shawn at Goodthinkinc.com. MICHELLE GIELAN is an expert on the science of positive communication and how to use it to fuel success and the author of Broadcasting Happiness. Formerly a national news anchor for CBS News, Michelle holds a masters of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Learn more at Goodthinkinc.com.
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angela-duckworth-620.jpg

The Power of Grit

This week we welcomed positive psychology and well-being experts to Dallas for The Festival of Positive Education. Live Happy science editor Paula Felps spoke with Angela Duckworth, the leading authority on grit. To listen to more of this interview as well as others, stay tuned to the Live Happy Now podcast.
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Smiling woman looking up from a laptop computer.

12 Top Positive Psychology Courses You Can Take Online

What brings a sense of purpose to our lives? Why is gratitude such an important factor in well-being? How can I be happier and bring a sense of authentic joy to those around me? Positive psychology is a fascinating field, but most of us aren’t able to set aside the time and money necessary to study for a master's or Ph.D. in the subject. Luckily technology has made it easier than ever to learn about the science of happiness since the days when Tal Ben-Shahar taught one of the first courses on the subject—and one of the most popular ever—at Harvard University, along with Shawn Achor. Information about positive psychology and well-being has now become much more widely available. Below are some of the best courses and certificate programs on positive psychology that you can access without having to leave the comfort of your own desk. 1. UPenn Positive Psychology Center Martin Seligman and the University of Pennsylvania's acclaimed Positive Psychology Center have coordinated with Coursera to create a five-course online certificate program called Foundations of Positive Psychology. The five courses offer an overview of the field, with insights into such topics as grit and character. They will be taught by regular UPenn MAPP (Masters in Applied Positive Psychology) professors including Angela Duckworth, Ph.D., and James Pawelski, Ph.D. For more information, click here. 2. Barbara Fredrickson Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., a psychology professor at North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Director of the PEP (Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology) Lab, and one of the founders of positive psychology, is an expert in the area of love and connection. You can get a taste of her research from her books, Positivity and Love 2.0, and articles, and now by taking her six-week MOOC (massive open online course) “Positive Psychology” on Coursera. The course includes discussion of concepts such as loving kindness and “positivity resonance,” as well as “practical applications of this science that you can put to use immediately to help you live a full and meaningful life.” For more information, click here. 3. Greater Good Science Center The Greater Good Science Center is a nonprofit research institute that provides excellent information and cutting-edge research on the psychology of well-being through its website, newsletter and books. They also offer a free online course called “The Science of Happiness” taught by University of California, Berkeley’s psychology professor Dacher Keltner, Ph.D., and Emiliana Simon-Thomas, Ph.D., the center’s science director. These two experts lead students through the fundamentals of positive psychology, such as why social ties are so important to well-being, the benefits of daily happiness practices and the new science of awe. You must register for the course, and it begins on a specific date (September 6, 2016), but you can take it at your leisure—as long as you finish within six months. The course (also a MOOC), taught on the EdX platform, is open to everyone, but for undergraduates, there is a midterm, final exam and class credits. Everyone else gets quizzes, polls and “emotional check-ins.” For more information, click here. 4. The Flourishing Center The Flourishing Center, founded by Emiliya Zhivotovskaya, offers a certificate in applied positive psychology (CAPP) program in locations all over the United States and Canada with a focus on flourishing, resilience, coaching and mentoring. Faculty include UPenn MAPP graduates, published authors and Live Happy writers such as Louisa Jewell, Louis Alloro and Carin Rockind. The Center has recently added an online option that covers the same curriculum as the in-person course and that has students connecting live online twice a week for 36 weeks. The online course is geared toward international students who don't have access to the in-person courses; however, exceptions are made. An application and interview are required for acceptance. For more information, click here. 5. The Big Know The Big Know, which partners with Life Reimagined—an AARP company, is a fantastic resource for free and low-cost online courses taught by some of the most respected experts in the mindfulness and happiness realms (many of whom have been featured in Live Happy). You can study “Brain Power: How to Improve Brain Health” with Wendy Suzuki, Ph.D., “Mindfulness and Meditation” with Richard Davidson, Ph.D., “How to Bring More Joy to Your Life” with Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., and the list goes on. Other instructors include Blue Zones' founder Dan Buettner and stress expert Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. It is truly a gold mine of quick and easy access to expert teachings on happiness—done through video—available at your fingertips. For more information, click here. 6. Profit from the Positive If you are a business owner, coach or executive who would like to bring the power of positive psychology into your workplace, this is a great place to start. Margaret Greenberg and Senia Maymin, Ph.D., co-authors of the book Profit from the Positive (and Live Happy columnists), have put together a 5-week online certificate program of the same name that teaches leaders and executive coaches how to harness the science of happiness in order to increase team productivity, decrease turnover, put employees’ strengths to work at the office and increase the bottom line. The class unfolds over the course of ten 90-minute live video sessions with Margaret and Senia and includes all editable slides and worksheets with no licensing fee and membership in a growing international community of positive psychology practitioners. Live Happy readers can receive a 20% discount off of registration using the promo code: LiveHappyNow. For more information, click here. 7. Pursuit of Happiness Pursuit of Happiness is a nonprofit organization led by prominent psychologists and educators such as Paul Desan, Ph.D., director of psychiatric services at Yale New Haven Hospital, and Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., professor at George Mason University and co-author of The Upside of Your Dark Side. They promote positive psychology by disseminating information and offering an online certificate course called “The Psychology of Happiness,” which is taught by Desan and other experts, including Dan Tomasulo, Ph.D., who created the positive psychology curriculum at Columbia University Teacher’s College. The course, which comprises two live webinars, emphasizes practical implementation of the latest scientific findings in the happiness realm. For more information, click here. 8. Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan Happiness expert, best-selling author and Live Happy columnist Shawn Achor has teamed up with Oprah Winfrey to create two 21-day courses on happiness. The first is called “21 Days to a Happier Life,” and the second is “21 Days to Inspire Happiness Around You.” The first class includes a happiness assessment, a discussion of daily happiness habits and creating a personal happiness formula. In the second class, students expand their happiness reach by learning about acts of kindness, increasing social bonds, inspiring positive change in others and sharing that happiness with the wider world. Michelle Gielan, Shawn’s wife, business partner at GoodThink Inc. and the author of Broadcasting Happiness, teaches a quick and inexpensive online course to help you improve positive communication and leadership called “Broadcasting Happiness.” For more information, click here. 9. Harvard University Extension Courses in the extension school are generally not taught by Harvard professors. They are, however interesting online courses that cost a whole lot less than enrolling at Harvard. The course catalog changes, but as of 2016, you could sign up to take “The Science and Application of Positive Psychology,” taught by Stephanie Peabody, Psy.D., Executive Director of the International Mind, Body, Health and Education Initiative. This is a general introduction to the concept of positive psychology, including "its implications for physical health and well-being." For more information, click here. 10. Via Institute on Character The nonprofit Via Institute on Character was created 15 years ago under the guidance of clinical psychologist Neal Mayerson, Ph.D., and positive psychology founding father Martin Seligman, Ph.D., in order to bring the benefits of “strengths theory” to as wide an audience as possible. Known primarily for its incredibly useful strengths survey, the institute also offers online courses, webinars and personalized coaching on such topics as “Character Strengths at Work,” “Positive Relationships and Character Strengths” and “Creating a Strengths-Based Life.” Courses are taught by Ryan Niemiec, Ph.D., education director at VIA and a licensed psychologist, and Donna Mayerson, Ph.D., lead consultant for applied practice at VIA and a licensed psychologist. For more information, click here. 11. Wholebeing Institute Run by happiness scholar and expert Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D., the Wholebeing Institute is devoted to educating the public about positive psychology, mindfulness, spirituality and the happiness movement. Taking a page from Martin Seligman's PERMA model for well-being, Tal has developed the acronym SPIRE to describe the mission of the Wholebeing Institute: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational and Emotional. The Institute offers a certificate program at two-day in-person retreats with a changing roster of locations, as well as a variety of courses that you can access online. Self-directed courses are taught over five weeks and include video lectures from Tal. Subjects range from “Introduction to Positive Psychology” to “Mind-Body Connection,” “Relationships” and “Positive Psychology in Coaching.” For more information, click here. 12. University of Missouri Some universities—such as the University of Pennsylvania in particular—are well-known for their masters programs in positive psychology. The University of Missouri, however, offers a certificate in pos. psych of 15 class credits that is done completely online. The program entails a core course plus several electives. It is important to point out that this is a certificate, not a terminal or “higher” degree. It may be a good choice for someone who would like to further an existing career or perhaps become a life coach. For more information, click here. Emily Wise Miller is the web editor at Livehappy.com.
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Stop ruminating and find solutions instead

Move Beyond the Problem

Whenever anything went wrong in her life, our dear friend Samantha became a broken record, stuck playing the same refrain over and over. If a colleague criticized her work, she’d call five of her friends to tell each of them the story in detail. If someone cut her off in traffic, she’d blast it out on social media and further fuel the fire by replying to all comments. If her husband put his dirty gym bag on the clean kitchen table, that would be her top story for days. Samantha was stuck focusing on the problem, with no thought to the solution. Our new research sheds light on just how toxic behavior like this is for both the problem-focused person like Samantha as well as the people listening to her. More importantly, it reveals exactly how we can all approach problems in a way that makes everyone feel better faster and that also yields better solutions. For parents, business leaders and teachers, there are important implications to this research. The negativity spiral Focusing on a problem has value, but getting trapped there leaves us stressed and decreases our ability to fix it. In a study we just completed with Arianna Huffington and researcher Brent Furl, we found that when people are merely exposed to problems and don’t spend any time thinking about solutions, their brains get stuck in negative places. However, pairing a problem with a discussion of a solution instantly makes us feel better. More importantly, though, if we focus on the right kind of solution, it fuels creative problem solving and overall performance. A study in contrasts In this study involving nearly 250 research participants, we tested each person’s mood and creative problem solving ability by having them read a randomly assigned article and then tested them again. There were four possible articles to read: Two pieces presented a problem in our world (either the mass shooting crisis or food bank shortages), while the other two articles discussed these same problems but then quickly moved on to solutions. The people presented with a solution-focused article reported feeling much less negative than the people who only read about the problem (specifically, 23 percent less uptight). This means individuals could be aware of a negative event but be buffered from its negative effects if they are also made aware that something can be done about the problem. Solutions-based approach The performance boost occurred when participants were presented with solutions they could be a part of. Focusing on personally actionable solutions increased creative problem solving on future unrelated tasks by 20 percent. In the solution-focused article about food bank shortages, we featured five ways you could help food banks, such as by donating or fundraising. The solution-focused article on the mass shooting crisis, by contrast, discussed measures a police department had taken to keep its city safe—and it did not create the same jump in performance. Personal solutions show our brain a path forward and give us a sense of empowerment. For anyone in a leadership role, including parents guiding their children through the pitfalls of growing up, here are three ways to apply this research to fuel success in others: 1. Ask a question Questions can sometimes be the simplest, least threatening way to move a conversation about a problem forward. For instance, if your son is worried about getting another C in math, you could ask him, “If you could do one thing to raise your grade, what would it be?” 2. Pivot the topic If a friend is having issues finding a solution to one problem, talk about ways he or she could solve another one. Seeing success in that domain can help fuel your friend’s success with the original issue, as we saw with the people who read the food shortages article with personally actionable solutions. 3. Be a positive role model The people around a leader often adopt his or her pattern of behavior. When discussing a problem in your own life, don’t just vent. Come up with solutions or invite other people to brainstorm with you. By consciously switching your focus to solutions when talking to others, you become a positive influence on them. In an amazing turn of events, our friend Samantha recently mentioned to us she was tired of having so many problems in her life, and she wanted to start taking action to fix them. (We of course told her that if she wants someone to brainstorm solutions with to call us anytime!) The result? Her Facebook feed is more positive, she gets along better with her husband and she has more time to focus on things that make her happy. It’s just more proof that a small shift in your attention can create an incredible ripple of positive change in your life. SHAWN ACHOR is best-selling author of the The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness. Shawn’s TED Talk is one of the most popular ever, with over 5 million views, and his PBS program has been seen by millions. Learn more about Shawn at goodthinkinc.com. MICHELLE GIELAN is an expert on the science of positive communication and how to use it to fuel success and the author of Broadcasting Happiness. Formerly a national news anchor for CBS News, Michelle holds a masters of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Learn more at goodthinkinc.com.
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5 Ways to Flourish

5 Ways to Flourish

While the specifics of what constitutes flourishing may vary by the individual, the basic foundation is the same. Building a life with more PERMA (positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement) is crucial. Here are the five pillars of PERMA: 1. Positive emotions Because of our natural negativity bias, it’s almost impossible to avoid negative emotions. However, offsetting those with positive interactions can have a powerful effect. John Gottman, Ph.D., suggests seeking out five positive emotions for each negative encounter. This can include practicing gratitude or self-compassion, doing something you love or even just making a point of being mindful of the positive emotion you’re feeling. Read more: 8 Easy Practices to Enhance Gratitude 2. Engagement Engagement can also be referred to as “flow,” that state where you are, in the words of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., “completely involved in an activity for its own sake.” Seek out things you enjoy and can do well and then make it a point to participate in those things regularly. Read more: The Flow in All of Us 3. Relationships There’s plenty of research pointing to the value of relationships in our happiness and well-being. Practice building positive relationships both at work and at home by creating more positive interaction and weeding out the relationships that are harmful to your emotional health. Read more: 7 Keys to a Happy Relationship 4. Meaning Meaning gives us a sense of belonging and connects us to our higher purpose. Simple ways to develop more meaning include participating in a spiritual practice that resonates with you, volunteering for a cause or charity you believe in and making positive changes, however small, in your little corner of the world. Read more: 5 Ways to Get in Touch With Your Higher Calling 5. Achievement An important aspect of flourishing, according to Martin Seligman, Ph.D., is achievement for achievement’s sake, not for the sake of a waiting reward. Work toward an accomplishment in which the reward is merely the accomplishment itself, and you may be surprised to see how it enhances your sense of well-being. Read more: 90 Days to Breakthrough Success Paula Felps is the science editor at Live Happy magazine.
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Don't Forget to Smile

Don’t Forget to Smile [Video]

Smiles are universal. Share one today! Smiles are universally human; they are built right into our DNA. Smile more often, and you might just make yourself feel happier. Watch this charming video based on real research, brought to us by Tal Ben-Shahar and our partners at Happier.TV.
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The End of Bullying?

The End of Bullying?

Her own harrowing experiences in middle school inspired Deborah Temkin, Ph.D., to grow up to become one of the leading researchers in the United States on bullying. She was severely bullied—both verbally and physically—and felt that her school let her down by not preventing the bad things that were happening to her. Any attempt to address the abuse was met with retaliation and isolation from her peers. Years later, while earning her doctorate in human development and family studies at Pennsylvania State University, she realized that many schools just aren’t equipped or have counterproductive policies to address the issue that affects roughly one out of every four students. Being bullied, she says, gave her purpose in life, and she has made it her mission to help schools create better climates. From 2010 to 2012, she served as the policy coordinator for bullying prevention for the U.S. Department of Education and is now the director of education research for Child Trends, an independent research organization focused on improving the lives of young people. “Unfortunately, a lot of schools use the approach of just telling kids to stop bullying,” she says. “I like to compare that to the ‘Just Say No’ campaign in the ’80s and ’90s.” If such a campaign “didn’t work for drugs, it’s probably not working for bullying. We really need to think through what our approach should be.” More vulnerable kids Kids who suffer from bullying are more vulnerable to depression, anxiety and internalizing bad experiences. The constant barrage of negative behavior can have long-lasting effects on their self-worth and motivation later in life and can even lead to thoughts of suicide. Those who engage in bullying behavior have a much higher risk of ending up in the juvenile court system and eventually jail. Even the kids who are bystanders can suffer from guilt and regret from not stepping in to protect someone. Zero-tolerance rules, suspensions and expulsions have proved to be ineffective measures to combat the issue. Traditionally, schools in the United States have been measuring their success based on academics rather than the well-being of the students. But prominent positive psychologists around the world have been studying the underlying causes of bullying, and their findings are both surprising and encouraging. What’s more, their unique intervention techniques have been highly successful, showing the promise of effective, sustainable solutions for future generations of schoolchildren. Listen to our special podcast on bullying, here. Positive climate change Deborah points out that the United States doesn’t necessarily extend its high standards and accountability on reading and math scores to school climate. Her research found that when schools focus on a positive climate—for example, fostering relationships in the classroom—bullying rates go down. Another effective weapon in the arsenal is to build up students’ emotional and social skills by teaching them compassion, empathy, conflict resolution and how to express their feelings without turning to aggressive behavior. “This helps them identify both their own emotions and reaction to certain situations as well as put themselves in other people’s shoes and understand how they may be feeling,” she says. Since 2010, there has been more attention to the issue of bullying. The U.S. Department of Education awarded $38.8 million in grants to 11 states, among them Arizona, Kansas, Louisiana and South Carolina, to bolster bully and drug prevention programs, build character and maintain proper well-being within the student body. While every state now has an anti-bullying law in place, Deborah says that no two laws are alike and a lot of the behavior is open to interpretation. A 2013 report by the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) and Bureau of Justice Statistics indicates a recent dip in reported bullying in the U.S. among 12- to 18-year-olds by as much as 6 percent. While this is a significant drop and a positive sign, Deborah urges caution on drawing any conclusions until the 2015 findings are released. A continued decrease could indicate that recent bullying programs may be helping. “It is hard to attribute the drop to any one thing,” she says. “Both attention and action toward bullying dramatically increased starting in 2010, and some of that drop may be attributed to the ongoing campaigns of many organizations and the federal government.” Positive psychology in the classroom Alejandro Adler, a Ph.D. candidate in positive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, routinely works with governments and international organizations to help incorporate positive education techniques into their respective curricula. He says more countries are starting to adopt a new paradigm in the teaching of youth where well-being and character development are given as much attention as academic success. “A sustainable solution is creating psychological and emotional assets in the community so that people are able to grow emotionally, psychologically and socially and get rid of those deficiencies and insecurities,” he says. “Rather than punishing bullying, why not educate people so that they become aware of what is really behind bullying? It’s really a sign of weakness and insecurity, and by attacking the root cause we can sustainably get rid of bullying. We need to not only be educating for numeracy and literacy, but educating for a healthy social and emotional life.” Stopping bullying at its source Throughout his research, Alejandro has found that bullies typically lack psychological and social support, whether that is in the home or in the community. Kids who aren’t in a nourishing environment start to develop insecurities and aggressive behaviors that lead to bullying. When students, including the bullies, are taught life skills, such as leadership, resilience, empathy and mindfulness, the social environment improves. Individual insecurities will start to decrease and self-esteem and self-efficacy will increase. “Bullying is really a form of aggression and violence. It may not always be physical, but psychological violence toward others,” he says. “So we’ve seen that individuals with higher well-being are more pro-social and less violent, both physically and verbally.” Aside from building a pro-social environment, Alejandro says it is also important to take the “cool” factor away from bullies by changing the lens through which they are viewed. When bullies are aware of their sociological and psychological deficiencies, it almost becomes embarrassing for them to continue with their behavior. By using this approach to the problem, Alejandro says, it can be very effective in diminishing bullying. A new world view Alejandro and his adviser, Martin Seligman, Ph.D., the director of the Penn Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, are working at a policy level with schools in at least 10 countries, including Australia, India, Mexico, Peru and the Philippines, and are starting to see preliminary positive results. In Australia, leading researcher in educational psychology and Australian Catholic University professor Herb Marsh is finding that bullying behavior diminishes when the whole school approach is used. In his presentation at the Fourth World Conference on Positive Psychology, held in June, 2015 in Orlando, Florida, he stated that where most bully interventions go wrong is when students are classified into different groups, such as: those who are bullied, those who bully and those who are bystanders. What is more likely is that students can play different roles, switching between all three. He finds that there seems to be a mutually reinforcing relationship as well as a reciprocal effect between the bullies and the victims as the two are “surprisingly similar to each other.” “Consistently, interventions should reinforce students’ high self-concepts, as they are a likely force against being a bully and being a victim. In our intervention, there are no benefits to being a bully,” he says. “It’s important, for students, teachers and parents to reinforce that bullying behavior is unacceptable so the students cannot delude themselves into thinking that socially inappropriate behaviors result in enhanced social status, and positive self-perceptions, real or imagined.” According to his findings, bullies and victims both share low self-esteem issues, suffer from depression and have trouble controlling anger—bullies externally and victims internally. Victims are more likely to reinforce bullying behavior, actively or passively, instead of empathizing with another victim. The largest group, students who are bystanders, are not as innocent as previously thought and are very important to the intervention for creating a positive school climate. By not actively taking action against bullying behavior, bystanders are passively encouraging pro-bullying behavior. This group is critical to changing the environment from pro- to anti-bullying behavior. Herb’s research team successfully implemented an intervention in its study of six schools in Australia. The intervention consisted of training teachers to treat bullying behavior appropriately, having trained consultants dedicated to bullying available at all times, and educating students and their parents. A sign of positive change In 2012, a study conducted on students ages 9 to 11 in Vancouver, British Columbia, found that when pro-social behavior was introduced into the classroom, such as performing random acts of kindness, the students who participated were actually more accepted by their peers and even saw a boost in their popularity. This led to a decrease in bullying and an increase in overall well-being. The study also suggests that having a pro-social school climate can have a ripple effect beyond the kids actually doing the good deeds, affecting the community at large. While the U.S. has yet to work with educators in the field of positive psychology, Deborah does point out that during her time with the Department of Education, there were at least discussions with international leaders and researchers across borders to better understand the best approaches to bullying behavior. Alejandro adds that with larger governments, it is harder to implement a positive education curriculum due to the bureaucratic process. “The larger the scale, the lower the impact,” he says. “There are more layers between the students and the people who design the program. The substance and quality gets diluted rather than training the teachers directly.” Why me? Aija Mayrock always thought of herself as a normal, happy kid. She was creative and loved to write poems, draw pictures and act in plays. Her home life was good, and she says she had incredible and supportive parents. So when the bullying started, Aija was baffled as to why she was being singled out. By the time she made it to the third grade, she was being bullied regularly and continued to be throughout middle and high schools. She became withdrawn and self conscious about her appearance; she stopped doing the things that made her happy, and her creativity was stifled. After years of struggling to find the answer, Aija realized she was asking the wrong question. The bullying was happening whether she liked it or not. The question now was what was she going to do about it? The answer came to her in the form of helping others, and she used the one thing that the bullies took from her: creativity. No longer a victim, nor a bystander “I decided I couldn’t be a bystander to my own bullying situation or the bullying that was happening to nearly 13 million kids a year,” Aija says. “I decided the best thing to do to help these kids was to create a book that I never had and always wanted, and so I decided to write this book and kind of give it as a gift for the next generation of kids that would be bullied.” So at 16 years old she self-published the book The Survival Guide to Bullying, only to have it picked up a month later by children’s and educational publishing giant Scholastic. In it she covers topics like communication with parents and teachers, tips on how to conquer your fears, and details her own ups and downs with bullying. She has spoken to numerous schools about the issue of bullying and has been featured in anti-bully campaigns. Many kids know who she is and even credit her with giving them the courage to move beyond their own bullying experiences. “Sometimes you have to become your own superhero, because sometimes there is no one there to save you,” she says. “I got to a point where the bullying no longer affected me, and I didn’t feel angry or sad or frustrated, I just felt great. I encourage kids to take charge of their life and get to a point where they feel free from the bullying, and maybe at that point they will begin to forgive.” Sharing hope Unlike Aija, Jaylen Arnold knew exactly why he was singled out as a target for bullies. Jaylen suffers from Tourette’s syndrome, Asperger’s syndrome and severe obsessive compulsive disorder, all diagnosed before he was 8 years old. Jaylen says kids started to notice his vocal and motor neurological ticks, and he became an obvious target. With the added stress exacerbating his condition, the decision was made to take Jaylen out of school. This didn’t sit well with Jaylen, and he felt like he was leaving his friends behind, as they were victims of bullying as well. He finally realized that that if he and so many of his friends could all be bullied, how many other kids around the world were being bullied, too? “Around that time of my life I realized that I wanted to do something,” Jaylen says. “So I went to my mom and we created the Jaylens Challenge Foundation and went around to schools and started speaking and educating kids not only on Tourette’s, but on bullying as well.” Jaylen, now 14, tours the country speaking to hundreds of thousands of kids about his life experiences and bullying. He has met countless celebrities and has even been on the Ellen show. But more importantly, he has been able to give kids hope that they, too, can survive bullying, and he has even changed some minds. He says bullies have reached out to him to say they have stopped harassing kids after listening to his story. Victims have even told him that they have stopped thinking about suicide, realizing there is hope for a more positive future. “A lot of people feel like they will never make it through because it is an intense period of life, but it’s only a temporary thing,” he says. “If you just go to an adult, if you or someone you know is being bullied, then it can stop. All you have to do is speak up. I know it can be hard at times. I was terrified to tell my parents because I thought the bullying would get worse, but I tell kids never to fear that things will get worse.” Read more: YouTube Star Stands Up to Bullying Communication is key There is only so much a school can do for your children once you drop them off. Parents must also be proactive in their kids’ lives by looking for signs, such as changes in behavior, loss of appetite and loss of sleep, and must keep the lines of communication open. A well-informed, confident and resilient child is going to be better equipped to handle a stressful and negative situation. The same goes if you suspect your child may be a bully. Teaching our kids to be less aggressive and more mindful and compassionate can help broaden a young mind to think more inclusively and less hurtfully. “One of the most preventive steps that parents can take is to start those lines of communication early before something happens,” Deborah says. “Establishing that parents are going to listen, not judge their kids and have regular conversations.” She points out the difficulty in trying to pry information out of an adolescent, but communicating consistently makes it easier when issues arise. Someone to talk to Communication is something Aija really stresses when she talks to kids and parents. She frequently hears from parents that they had no idea their kid was being bullied, and she has dedicated a whole chapter in her book about the importance of having one person to confide in. “I really regret not knowing how to talk to my parents about what was going on, and I really encourage kids to find that place where they are comfortable enough to approach their parents or loved ones or teachers,” she says. “You just don’t have to go through the bullying alone. It’s not healthy, and to have someone looking out for you and having your best interests at heart will make the complete difference. I didn’t communicate properly and I wish I had.” She hopes her book will help spur the conversation that it is OK to talk about it and there is no stigma attached to being bullied. Behavior begins at home Parents can help by reinforcing good behavior at home. Mark Dombeck, Ph.D., a cognitive behavioral therapist in Oakland, California, says that any parenting behavior that teaches polite, respectful and compassionate social behavior is going to work against bullying. Conversely, when parents teach their children to be ultra-competitive, aggressive and overly status-conscious then they are paving the way for a potential bully. “Parents can teach their kids to be more compassionate and thoughtful, correcting them when they take things for granted,” he says. “Teaching your kid to say please and thank you, at one level is a simple social lubrication behavior, but is also a social skill. But where it goes, what it points at is the idea that we need to respect the other person because of the Golden Rule.” Read more: Bullying's Ripple Effect Chris Libby is the Section Editor at Live Happy.
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Make Positivity a Priority

Put Happiness on the Calendar

With so much time and research devoted to what it takes to be happy, it would seem that pursuing happiness should be easier than ever. After all, there are books, movies, podcasts, TED Talks and websites (even this magazine!) devoted to exploring the many roads to happiness. Despite that, not everyone is finding the happiness they desperately want. Planning makes perfect The good news is, the solution may all be a matter of planning. “Pursuing positivity is a delicate art,” Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., told attendees of the International Positive Psychology Association’s Fourth World Congress in June. Barbara, a University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill professor, added that with the increasing popularity in positive psychology, more people are becoming interested in the benefits of happiness but are also judging themselves for not being as happy as they should be. The 'dark side' of happiness A 2011 study led by Iris Mauss, Ph.D., at the University of California, Berkeley, showed that people who “value happiness to the extreme” are more prone to loneliness. And more studies are emerging about the so-called dark side of happiness, in which people are putting so much pressure on themselves to be happy that they’re actually feeling pretty miserable about it. Studies show that trying to be happier can actually make people feel worse. “People are…so worried about how they feel that they are missing opportunities to feel good,” Barbara says. But a study she co-authored with Lahnna I. Catalino, Ph.D., of the University of California, San Francisco and Sara B. Algoe, Ph.D., of The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill found that perhaps the key lies in a subtle change. Make happiness a priority The study, “Prioritizing Positivity: An Effective Approach to Pursuing Happiness?”, was published in the December 2014 issue of the journal Emotion. Barbara and her colleagues found that people who make happiness a priority, and who build their lives around activities that are designed to increase their well-being, are much more satisfied than those who merely value happiness as an end goal. “Valuing happiness to an extreme oftentimes [views] happiness as a goal to be achieved, whereas in prioritizing positivity, the emotional goods are a byproduct of the behavior,” she says. Valuing vs. prioritizing The difference, Barbara says, is in our daily mindset and approach. The person who values happiness as an end goal is more likely to set unrealistic expectations about achieving happiness, research shows. That can include creating high-pressure thought processes such as “I ought to be doing better” or “I would probably be happier if.…” Her work shows that people who prioritize positivity may have more realistic and reachable visions of what happiness looks like for them. They constantly look for ways to nurture their positive emotions and structure free time around events and activities that make them happy and make major decisions—such as what job they choose or the home they buy—based on how that decision will influence their positive emotions. Prioritizing positivity is about following what’s good, and leaning in toward it. It’s about constantly making a choice to have a positive experience.” When happiness is seen as our ultimate goal, she says, we create too many ways to fall short. “It creates the idea that happiness is an achievement at which you’re potentially failing, versus seeing these micro-moments of each day as building blocks,” she explains. “When you think about happiness in terms of smaller building blocks, you get more chances to succeed and more chances to forgive yourself when you don’t.” Change your mind, change your life Barbara says the shift from valuing happiness to prioritizing it requires little more than changing our mindset. “That’s the lever that will jumpstart the emotional attitude,” she says. Too often, we learn what we should do, and then we fail to move that knowledge out of our heads and put it into action. Choosing a mindset that appreciates the little triumphs and moments of happiness as they occur can bring about dramatic and lasting changes. Give yourself a sense of control Barbara recommends we start looking at how our day-to-day actions line us up for happiness or failure. “You can regulate by planning, by setting up situations that are going to contribute to your happiness,” she says. “That gives you more of a sense of a control over your happiness instead of responding to the situations that are happening to you every day and then analyzing if those events or circumstances are making you happy. When you do that, you potentially have the grace to just experience that situation as it occurs.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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