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Hopeful People and Their Superpowers

This special emotion is a constant in our lives that helps us achieve what might have been beyond our reach. Hope thrives inside us the moment we are born. As infants we cry out, hoping for comfort. As young children, we anticipate special days and the rituals that go with them, while when we are adolescents, we want a particular boy or girl to like us, a driver’s license and a college acceptance letter. Young adults hope to find a life partner, build a successful career and have a firstborn. We yearn for a loving family to care for us and a long life in our sunset years. While hope evolves and changes throughout our lifetimes, the feelings, motivational benefits and successful outcomes stay the same. More than 20 years of experience and numerous clinical studies have shown me that those who live in a “hopeful” state tend to be more motivated, driven and adventurous, all of which tend to reinforce a strong sense of self-worth and provide more moments of happiness. They benefit from more satisfaction in their chosen careers, have greater romantic success and more friends. They tend to be excited with the possibilities in their lives and surround themselves with successful, hopeful others. As an added bonus, research has proved again and again that happy, hopeful, productive people with solid support systems benefit from a longer, healthier life. Some people turn up their noses at the very concept of hope without realizing that a hopeful person can accomplish things others might find to be out of reach. We live in what can sometimes be a cynical, critical world. Life delivers hard knocks to everyone, no matter what they believe or how positive their attitude. While a hopeful outlook can be somewhat of a hard-wired character trait—often upbringing, difficulty moving on from life’s disappointments such as divorce or financial problems or just one too many tough times—can cause even the most positive person to have partially or fully put hope away. When this happens, the goal is to coax that glorious and life-changing sense of hope back out and reignite it. It starts with hope. The first step begins with taking some time to think about goals that are realistic and within reach, being open to exploring new options, rallying your support system, and doing whatever possible to turn hope into something that is real, tangible and happiness-making. Hope is related to your perceptions about yourself, others and the world around you. If deep down you still believe that good things can happen to you, that life still has possibilities and that you can find a way to make what you are hoping for come true, that is a terrific beginning. Take a moment and think about all the things that you are continuing to hope for. Are you hoping to accomplish a New Year’s resolution? Reach a new level in your job or relationship? Trying to become a kinder person? Lose some weight? Make a hope list. For each item on that list, think about all the things that you can do to accomplish what you were hoping for, and then get started on the easy ones right away. Spend time around a person or a group that you consider to be hopeful and optimistic. Hope is contagious. Being around others who see potential and possibility in their lives will have a ripple effect on yours. Consider joining a group focusing on weight loss, volunteering or attending a book club— it’s much easier to stay motivated and hopeful when you are surrounded by individuals with the same goals. Fill a “hope jar” with slips of paper that include all of the positive things that you hope for. Include the smallest item you can think of, like mastering how to bake cookies without burning them, to larger items, like learning a new skill or finding or improving a relationship. Pull one piece of paper out at the first of every month, and commit to spending the next 30 or so days doing all that you can to accomplish it. Hold onto hope and don’t give up until you’ve turned that idea into a reality. If you feel you are stuck and struggling to re-ignite the fire of hope, reach out to family or friends who appreciate your assets and skills and ask them to offer input on how you might move forward. Often it takes a person who is wiser than you to help you see how to be your best you. As a therapist, I am often asked how I hear so many stories on a daily basis that include struggles, fears and pain. My answer has always been that I see at least a sliver of hope in every person and a grain of optimism in every situation. That’s good news for you, because that means that there is hope and optimism living and breathing inside of you. Stacy Kaiser, the author of How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, is a successful licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert and media personality. She has a B.A. in Psychology from California State University, Northridge and her M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University. With more than 100 television appearances on major networks, including CNN, FOX and NBC, and a weekly advice column for USA Today, Stacy has built a reputation for bringing a unique mix of thoughtful and provocative insight to a wide range of topics.
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Steve Holcomb in a bobsled

Olympian Steve Holcomb Defeats Despair

Hope is a huge part of sports; hope is the basis of everything we do,” says Steve Holcomb, 2010 Olympic gold medalist in four-man bobsled. “If you knew right now that there’s no chance of doing well at the Olympics, then why bother doing anything? What’s the point?” But hope is not just optimism, and hope is not wishful thinking. “Hope,” he says, “is knowing the possibilities are always open. Nothing in the future is set. You can make it what you want to make it.” For Steve, the element of self-determination is key. When a degenerative eye disorder threatened to end his career, Steve lost hope. In 2007, Steve had just become the No. 1 driver in the world, but he could barely see beyond the front of his sled. He had keratoconus, a progressive thinning of the cornea, and his vision was rapidly deteriorating. Doctors said his only option to save his sight was a cornea transplant, but it would require giving up the bone-jarring, head-rattling sport he loved: careening down icy chutes at 80 mph and withstanding four times the force of gravity. Faced with having his passion stripped away, Steve grew depressed and, at age 27, attempted suicide with 73 sleeping pills and a liter of Jack Daniel’s. “I gave up,” he says. “I regret that. I should have kept hope alive, but I didn’t.” When he woke up he realized, “It wasn’t my time.” Until then, Steve had kept his deteriorating eyesight a secret because vulnerability might have resulted in him losing the best equipment and the best push crews. But when he told his coach about the problem, he helped Steve find an ophthalmologist who was able to restore Steve’s vision by performing two experimental operations in 2008. A year later, Steve became the first American driver in 50 years to win a bobsled world championship. In 2010, he became the first American man since 1948 to win Olympic bobsledding gold. In 2012, he swept the two-man and four-man world titles. And this month, Steve, 33, is poised to defend his Olympic title in Sochi. Looking back, he feels he was fortunate to have been without hope. He can now say, “I’ve been there,” helping keep others from making the same mistakes of falling into the trap of despair. “I’m telling you from experience,” Steve says. “There is always hope.” Aimee Berg is a longtime Olympic writer and two-time Emmy winner whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Men’s Journal and many others.
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Happy woman portrait blowing soap bubbles at the park.

Working on Your Own Happiness Isn’t Selfish

“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.”-Robert Louis StevensonIf you had the choice to spend the day with someone who exudes happiness or someone who has a martyr thing going, it wouldn’t be a tough decision, right? How about your super upbeat friend vs. your chronic complainer friend? Not a challenging choice there either. Spend time with someone who exudes positivity, and you are more likely to feel positive. Hang with someone who acts like life’s number one victim, and guaranteed, Debbie downer is going to rub off on you. It’s called emotional contagion, and it means the emotions of others can influence us. So if happy people make other people happy, why is it that happy people are sometimes thought to be selfish?“The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided,” says Gretchen Rubin, happiness expert and author of The Happiness Projectand Happier at Home. “It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted.” Put another way …Happiness takes work. Happy people are taken for granted because they are thought of as naturally happy people or born happy, yet upbeat people have to work at being resilient, bouncing back, rising above, and staying positive. The outside world only sees the happy person and not the effort behind the scenes, so positive people don’t receive credit for creating their sunshine-like dispositions. “Happiness is a work ethic. You have to train your brain to be positive, just like you work out your body,” writes Shawn Achor is his book, The Happiness Advantage.Happy people are overlooked. If happy people are thought to be in selfish pursuit of their own fulfillment and pleasure, consider that the happy person often goes unnoticed. “No one is careful of (a happy person’s) feelings or tries to keep his spirits high,” Rubin says. “Because happy people seem self-sufficient, they become a cushion for others.” The happy person is expected to lift others up.Happiness doesn’t mean you lack empathy. Just because your smile lights up a room, doesn’t mean you are blind to the suffering going on in the world. You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness to show the world you are compassionate. “Just as eating your dinner doesn’t help starving children in India; being blue yourself doesn’t help unhappy people become happier,” Rubin says. In fact, happier people are better equipped to demonstrate their empathy and help people because their emotional tanks are full. “When I’m feeling happy, I find it easier to notice other people’s problems. I have more energy to try to take action and I have the emotional wherewithal to tackle sad or difficult issues, and I’m not as preoccupied with myself. I feel more generous and forgiving,” Rubin says. There will always be tragic stories happening in the world, but empathy is better expressed with giving back and good deeds, than giving up your happiness in a show of support.Happy people give back. Happy people are more interested in social problems, more likely to do volunteer work and contribute to charity, according to Gallup Well-being polls. While unhappy people tend to socially withdraw and focus on themselves, happy people turn outward and are more available to help others. And when people give back it only enhances their happiness, says Harvey McKinnon, a nonprofit fundraising expert and author of The Power of Giving: How Giving Back Enriches Us All. “People are hard-wired to give, and when people give to others, it makes them feel better.” Turns out, one of the best ways to get happy in the first place is to do a selfless act—help other people be happy. Rubin calls it a splendid truth: “The best way to make yourself happy is to make others happy, and the best ways to make other people happy, is to be happy yourself.”So if anyone tries to rain on your happy parade by telling you that your investment in your happiness is a selfish pursuit, just say, “I am doing this for you,” because really, you are.Sandra Bienkowski, owner of The Media Concierge, LLC, is a national writer of wellness and personal development content and a social media expert.
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Hope 3D text surrounded by question marks.

QUIZ – How Hopeful Are You?

Instructions: Read the question and answer A, B or C. Answer the letter that is closest to what you would say or do in the scenario.1. You are really looking forward to attending a friends wedding in a few weeks. You are out taking a brisk walk, trip over some broken up sidewalk and break your leg. Do you… A. Immediately call the bride and groom to cancel. B. Decide to wait a few days and see how you feel before canceling. C. Let the bride and groom know that you are feeling optimistic about your recovery and plan to be there.2. You apply for a job that you think you're highly qualified for. Two weeks have passed and you have heard nothing. Do you... A. Feel depressed and worry that you won't ever have a job. B. Decide to give it another couple of weeks before looking into other opportunities. You’ll wait it out. C. Tell yourself that you have skills and potential and that a job will come eventually and keep looking.3. Your birthday is a week away and no one has mentioned trying to make any plans to take you out or celebrate. Do you... A. Assume people forgot or don't care. B. Hope that if you wait a little longer, someone will mention it. C. Assume that people will want to celebrate you and start talking with them about plans for your birthday.4. You have an opportunity to be hired for a much higher paying job that is out of the range of your normal experience. Do you... A. Decide there is no way you're capable and say no. B. Feel uncertain about your skills and ask other people to convince you that you might be able to pull this off. C. Feel certain that you could undertake and succeed at something new as long as you really tried and got help as needed.4. Your best friend just moved out of the city that you live in. Do you… A. Get very sad because you know that your relationship is over and that you will never find another best friend again. B. Figure that you will keep at least a bit of a relationship and talk once in a while. C. Assure yourself that if you work hard at staying connected, the two of you will stay close friends.5. When you imagine yourself five years from now, do you… A. Think things could be the same or worse. B. Hope for the best but expect the worst. C. Know that if you really want to and put your mind to it, you can build an even happier and more productive life.6. You are in the mall and parked in a metered spot when you arrived. You suddenly realize that the meter may have run out a few minutes ago. You think… A. I’m doomed! I bet my car was towed by now and my whole day is ruined. B. I will probably get a ticket. C. There is nothing I can do at this point in time and I will deal with whatever happens. Maybe if I hurry, I will get lucky and get there before something bad happens.7. After a routine medical visit, you doctor was mildly concerned about a non-life threatening medical issue. It is suggested that you have a follow up test to assess if there is cause for concern Do you… A. Call everyone and say you are very sick and might be dying. B. Get frightened, insist on a second opinion and research every treatment under the sun. C. Feel concerned, but know there isn’t a real reason to worry yet and wait for the test results.The Answer:If you answered mostly A’s you are a person that is not filled with very much hope. You tend to see life in a negative way, and not only do you not hope for the best, you tend to imagine the worst.If you answered mostly B’s, you are a person who has moments of hopefulness, but you tend to wait until the situation looks positive before allowing yourself to be optimistic.If you answered mostly C’s, you tend to be extremely hopeful. When times get tough, you try to be optimistic and look for the positive in a situation. People come to you in times of trouble, because they know you will see the silver lining.For more information on the benefits of hope read “The Hope Monger” in our February 2014 issue. Or try out some daily actions of hope you can do with our “31 Ideas of Hope.”Stacy Kaiser is a successful Southern California-based licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. With more than 100 television appearances on major networks, including CNN, NBC, CBS and FOX, Stacy has built a reputation for bringing a unique mix of thoughtful and provocative insights to a wide range of topics.
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Woman holding a piece of paper with a question mark over her face.

What are your top five character strengths?

People who know and use their character strengths tend to lead healthier and happier lives, forge stronger relationships, and have a greater sense of accomplishment, according to years of research by leading positive psychologists. Finding out what strengths you already have and learning where you need improvement can help you see who you are as a person as well as the person you can become. The VIA Survey of Character Strengths, consisting of 240 carefully designed statements for you to agree or disagree with, is uniquely configured to find out where your character strengths lie. The process is easy and only takes about 15 minutes. The results page will instantly calculate your top five greatest character strengths. For instance, if humor is your top strength, you generally like to laugh and try to see the light side of a situation—even if it’s a gloomy one. Making people smile is important to you. If your top strength is perspective, people most likely come to you for sage advice and appreciate your outlook on life. They may even say you are wise beyond your years. Drs. Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson designated 24 character strengths they believe to be the formula for human flourishing. Curiosity, bravery, zest for life…we all have them. Throughout time, and even in the most remote parts of the world, you can find these universal traits that explain who we are when we are at our best. The VIA Signature Strength Survey can be found on AuthenticHappiness.org, an online resource center from the University of Pennsylvania where more than two million people worldwide have participated in surveys and questionnaires regarding signature strengths. It is free, and it not only provides data for researchers to continue developing their theories on well-being, but it also gives you knowledge and tools to use on your own path to happiness. Take the test and come back and tell us what your top 5 strengths are in the comment section below.
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Shane Lopez holding a bunch of red balloons

The Hope Monger

Shane Lopez was a few years into his research on hope when he found himself feeling pretty close to hopeless. He had awoken on July 4, 2003, with a piercing headache, and though he kept his plans to go with his wife to a neighbor’s holiday barbecue, the pain kept getting worse throughout the afternoon and over the next few days. “There was this incredible pressure, not just in one part of my head but all over,” he says. Shane, then 33, thought he might be experiencing his first-ever migraine, but when he developed a fever of 104 degrees, he realized, he says, “something’s not right.” A battery of medical tests pointed to a surprising diagnosis: West Nile encephalitis. There were about a dozen cases of West Nile virus in Shane’s resident state of Kansas that year, including three deaths. Shane escaped the worst fate, but he would spend the next year incapacitated. “I went from being this very eager, ambitious, high-achieving person,” he says, “to someone who couldn’t walk halfway around the block.” He experienced extreme arthritic pain in every joint, slept 18 hours a day and was forced to take a leave from the University of Kansas, where he was a professor of psychology and counseling. Shane spent the few hours he was awake in his favorite chair in the attic. At 5 o’clock his wife, Alli, would get home from work and sit in the chair next to his. “She would talk to me about what our life would be like together when I felt better,” he says. “It wasn’t about the horror of my pain and fatigue that day, it was about starting a family together, my doing work I was passionate about and our taking a trip to Europe. She’d paint these vivid images of the two of us riding scooters through the Italian countryside. There were times when I felt that I wasn’t going to get past being sick and infirm. But Alli pulled me forward into a different future.” Her hope was contagious and curative. It would be a full year before Shane went back to work and several more years before all his symptoms abated, but the images that Alli had summoned did come to pass. Hope matters.Hope is a choice. Hope can be learned. Hope can be shared with others." In 2004, they took a trip to Italy, France and Switzerland and, yes, rode scooters. A few weeks later they discovered Alli was pregnant. Today, living in Lawrence, Kan., they are the adoring parents of an 8-year-old son, Parrish, and Shane is one of the world’s leading researchers on the psychology of hope. A senior scientist with Gallup, he was the chief architect of the Gallup Student Poll, an annual online survey that measures hope, engagement and wellbeing among middle-school and high-school students. He does hope-raising programs not only with kids but also with bankers and mayors, corporate executives and health care professionals. He wrote a book, Making Hope Happen: Create the Future You Want for Yourself and Others, to spread his message to a broader audience: Hope matters. Hope is a choice. Hope can be learned. Hope can be shared with others. Shane is happy to call himself a hope monger, and he wants you to be one, too. How Hope Became a Vocation Shane didn’t start out as a hope researcher. Intelligence—something that can be measured with the hard-edged precision of IQ points—had been his area of investigation as a postdoctoral clinician with the Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kan. But as he worked with patients who were spinning out of control because of health, relationship or financial problems, something became very clear to him: Intelligence was overrated. “When I met people who were very smart but overwhelmed by life, I realized that intelligence has very little to do with coping,” he says. “It has very little to do with happiness. It has very little to do with general success in life.” What mattered more, he observed, was what Emily Dickinson called “the thing with feathers that perches in the soul”—and what his mentor Rick Snyder, one of the pioneers in the field of positive psychology, described as a life-sustaining force that is rooted in our relationship with the future: hope. “How we think about the future—how we hope—determines how well we live our lives,” Shane says. Why Optimism and Wishes Aren’t Enough To understand what Shane means when he talks about hope, it’s helpful to begin with what he doesn’t mean. Hope is not optimism. You’re optimistic if you believe the future will be better than the present, which turns out to be a nearly universal belief. Nine out of 10 people polled by Gallup across 142 countries expect their lives in five years to be as good or better than their life today. But looking at life through rose-colored glasses is itself a passive activity. Optimism is merely an attitude. Hope, on the other hand, is belief plus action. You’re hopeful, Shane says, if you believe the future will be better than the present and that you have the power—and multiple plans—to make it so. Hope is not wishing, something Shane dismisses as “mental fast food.” Daydreaming about the perfect job, the perfect mate, the perfect home can create a feel-good buzz, but it’s fleeting. “Hopes are sustainable,” he says. “Wishes are not.” Swap warm and fuzzy wishes for robust, action-driven hope and you reap powerful payoffs. Hopeful students earn a grade higher in final exams than their less hopeful peers with an equal IQ; workers who are hopeful are more productive—by about an hour a day—than not-as-hopeful colleagues, whether they’re closing loans at a mortgage company in the U.S., fixing engines at a Swiss factory or working an assembly line in China. Hope is protective, first responders who are high in hope suffer less psychological distress, and it’s strongly linked to a sense of meaning in life. Does hope lead to happiness? Not by itself, Shane says. But it’s hard to be happy without it. The Hope Shortage Among our Children We are suffering from a hope deficit in the U.S., Shane says, and nowhere is this more evident than among our children. For the last five years the annual Gallup Student Poll has been measuring hope among fifth through 12th graders. The online survey consistently shows that America’s youth is strongly optimistic: almost all—95 percent—believe they will have a better life than their parents. But there’s a considerable hope gap. Just over half— 54 percent—of the 600,000 students who participated in the 2013 survey are hopeful about the future, agreeing that they will graduate from high school, that they energetically pursue their goals and that they can think of many ways to deal with problems. The rest are what Shane calls “low hope” kids. “It’s shocking to me,” he says, “that half of the children out there don’t have excitement about the future, don’t have the sense that they can really be the agents of their own lives.” Shane and his colleagues don’t yet understand everything that’s behind this hope lag. But, he says, “What we know for sure is that students have more will than they have ways. What I mean by that is they’re incredibly confident that they can make the future better than their present, but they don’t have any good sense of how to make that happen. So, what they really need is for us to teach them how to turn an interest into a career into a real job or how to take some fuzzy warm feelings about someone and start a friendship. What kids lack the most are the ways to make good things happen in their lives.” Spending a day with Shane, as Live Happy recently did in Omaha, it’s easy to see his extraordinary capacity to connect his audience. Whether he’s sitting with a preschooler on his lap at the Children’s Museum in Omaha and guiding him through the interactive Fantastic Future Me exhibit, joking with a fifth-grader about his plans to run faster than Usain Bolt, or exhorting a group of high-school teachers to be their most hopeful selves so they can be effective purveyors of hope for their students, Shane’s message resonates. In teacher Pam Mitchell’s fifth-grade classroom at Paddock Road Elementary, Shane is coaching nearly two dozen 10- and 11-year-olds in how to go from “goal setting to goal chasing.” Alternately striding among the rows of desks and crouching down to be at eyeball level with the kids, he asks how they feel when they’re working on a goal they’re excited about. “Pumped,” one girl suggests. “Pumped! I loooove that word,” Shane says. The students offer more adjectives. “Positive.” “Motivated.” “Encouraged.” “Dreamful.” “You kids are great at this! When you’re working on a goal that you’re really pumped about, this is where hope happens.” Shane asks the kids to open their “hope folders”—one part of the hope-building project—pick the goal they’re most excited about, then write down two ways to make it happen. “Where there are ways there’s a will,” he says. In a message he also shares with corporate execs, he explains that having more than one action step can help you keep moving when you hit an obstacle. Next, Shane instructs the students to make a where/when plan—“this is an appointment with yourself”—on taking the first step to pursuing their goal. “We find exciting goals that our body and our heart tells us we’ve got to work on, and we come up with incredible ways to get to these goals,” he says. “And you know what happens? The day passes and then the next day passes and we run out of time to work on these goals. It happens to adults, too. Time slips away.” Kylee is picked to come to the head of the classroom and share her hope project. Her goal: help cure cancer. Her ways: join a team that’s already fighting cancer; make a list of ways to raise money. Her where/when: 11:30 on July 9, the day she turns 11, on the couch in her living room. Watching from the back of the classroom, Omaha’s Westside Community Schools district superintendent Blane McCann laughs, “Cure cancer? These kids just might do it!” Sustaining Hope Shane says that over time he has learned to be hopeful. And it continues, he says, to be hard work. “Being a hopeful guy is something I work on every day,” he says. He tries to surround himself with high-hope people—easy to do, he says, when Alli and Parrish are the two most hopeful people he’s ever met—and every day he looks toward the future and figures out what it is he’s most excited about. He has regular sessions with a “strengths coach” who helps him make sure his goals are aligned with his strengths. Shane doesn’t take hope for granted. What his childhood and his experience with West Nile taught him, he says, “was you have to have something to be excited about in the future; otherwise every day will be a chore.” The experience of hopefulness is unmistakable, he says. “When I’m at the height of hope I’m literally sitting on the edge of my seat,” he says. “My words are sharper and clearer and there’s this lightness, this uplifting feeling throughout my body. If you haven’t had that feeling in a good while, you have to re-learn it. And that’s the role of the most hopeful people in our lives. They can teach us hope.” Shelley Levitt is a contributing editor to SUCCESS magazine. Her articles on health, beauty and well-being have appeared in Women's Health, Fitness, WebMD and Weight Watchers magazines.
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Butterfly

31 Ideas of Hope

Starting in 2014Live Happy islaunching A Year of Happiness. Every month will have a special theme that's integral to happiness. January's theme is hope. February's is love. Our hope is that our themed thoughts, quotes, quips, readings and fun things to do will inspire your year to be happy, healthy and meaningful. Enjoy!1. "Once you choose hope, anything's possible. –Christopher Reeve2. Read Where the Sidewalk Ends, by Shel Silverstein.3. Butterflies symbolize hope in some Native American cultures.4. Listen and watch "We're Going to Be Friends," by Caroline Pennell (from "The Voice").5. Watch Hope, directed by Goldie Hawn.6. "People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy." –Bob Hope7. Read I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban, by MalalaYousafzai.8. "God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us–in the dreariest and most dreaded moments–can see a possibility of hope."–Maya Angelou9. Volunteer10. Listen and watch "New" by Paul McCartney.11. Hope as a girl's name is growing in popularity in the United States.12. Listen and watch "Gone, Gone, Gone," by Phillip Phillips.13. "Why should there not be a patient confidence in the ultimate justice of people? Is there any better or equal hope in the world?"–Abraham Lincoln14. Listen and watch "Better Day," by Eddie Vedder.15. Write "Hope" in the snow or sand.16. Watch Fast & Furious 6.17. "If you are looking for a solid return on your money, invest in hope." —Shane Lopez18. Read Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, by Cheryl Strayed.19. Listen and watch “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo’ole.20. Watch Finding Nemo.21. The golden daffodil, the iris, the cardinal and the dove all symbolize hope.22. Read Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?, by Billy Crystal.23. Watch World War Z.24. Listen and watch “Traces of You,” by Anousha Shankar, featuring Norah Jones.25. Read Power of Giving: How Giving Back Enriches Us All, by Harvey McKinnon.26. Write “Hope” on your dog’s bandana and take him/her for a walk.27. Listen and watch “Ordinary Love” by U2.28. Watch As Good as It Gets.29. Listen and watch “Clouds,” written by Zach Sobiech.30. “The more hope we cultivate today, the better equipped we’ll be to survive and thrive in the months and years ahead.”—Barbara Fredrickson31. WatchArgo.*Special thanks to producer Lindsay Doran for choosing our film titles.
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Tia Mowry-Hardrict in "I Insist!" video for FluMist Quadrivalent

Tia Mowry Insists on Healthy Living

Having a healthy and happy family is a goal most of us would like to achieve. In Tia Mowry-Hardrict’s mind, it is the foundation on which she is able to thrive in her personal and professional life. Being successful and constantly on-the-go does not deter Tia from making sure her family and their health are top priorities. “Basically I’m a working mom. I am an entrepreneur, I am an author, I am an actress, I am a producer, I am a wife and I am a sister. I live a very, very busy lifestyle,” Tia says. “My family’s health is my No. 1 priority, and living a healthy lifestyle is something I have been extremely passionate about.” The former Sister, Sister star recently teamed up with MedImmune, the makers of the nasal-spray vaccine FluMist Quadrivalent, for the launch of a Web video in which she portrays a busy working mother who needs to slow down and find time to vaccinate her family against the flu. While the “I Insist!” video takes a tongue-in-cheek approach to a day in her life, keeping her family healthy is very important to Tia. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, between 5 and 20 percent of the U.S. population contracts the flu every year. Fewer than half of adults and just over half of children get vaccinated. The flu, an unpredictable disease, can cause mild to severe symptoms that sometimes leads to more serious illnesses like bronchitis and pneumonia. Tia says that in the past she has overlooked flu vaccinations. But after learning about the toll that influenza can take on a household, especially on the household coordinator —mom—she makes certain that her family is vaccinated every year. And the fact that there are no needles involved makes that decision even easier. “We all know that when the mom is out, being sick is like instant chaos in the house,” Tia says. As she understood more about them, “flu vaccinations became a part of my family’s annual routine. I was extremely excited to bring awareness and educate families about the importance of flu vaccinations.” Taking preventative measures, combined with an organic diet and plenty of exercise, help Tia and her family stay healthy and maintain a sense of wellbeing. “My diet consists of predominantly organic foods; I am vegan. Also, I exercise on a regular basis,” she says. This wasn’t always the case. Her decision to change her diet stemmed from her doctor’s advice that it may help alleviate symptoms associated with endometriosis. This painful disorder affects the tissue in and around the uterus, often making it difficult to become pregnant, and in some cases, impossible. Red meat, non-organic meat and wheat tend to exacerbate symptoms of endometriosis, while a higher consumption of fruits and vegetables coupled with plenty of exercise can have the opposite effect. After two surgeries and the looming possibility that she might not be able to have children, she decided to drastically change what she was eating. She believes that by eating more organic foods and staying away from damaging processed foods that promote inflammation, she was able to get her body healthy enough to become pregnant. “When I saw that there was a benefit from eating healthy, I realized that food can be medicine,” Tia says. Eating healthy is now a big part of her life, and because she took the time and effort to research and essentially learn a new way to cook, she feels and lives better. With all her exciting endeavors pulling her in so many different directions, you would think that she never has time to unplug and make room for the normal family experience with her husband, actor Cory Hardrict, and young son Cree. But staying dedicated, working hard and having the right attitude affords her the luxury to do what she loves while keeping an unwavering focus on what is most important to her. “We realize that this a job that we have. It’s not our lifestyle. Our lifestyle is not about entertainment. We love what we do, but when we come home we shut it all off,” Tia explains. “My husband is my husband; I am his wife. All that other stuff goes out the window. I think what has helped me stay grounded is that I am a true believer in family. It’s what I value the most.”
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Acts of Thanksgiving

We all seek unity, interconnectedness and happiness, but we have come to associate feelings of warmth and gratitude mainly with Thanksgiving, other holidays and major life events.As a therapist and believer in the importance of living a fulfilling and contented life, I encourage everyone I meet to start practicing active thanksgiving that goes well beyond the November holiday and religious services. This is not about feeling thankful when something great happens, but a regular part of every day—even the most challenging ones—especially unhappy days!In my work, I see many people in pain, struggling to cope daily. They may be dealing with a terminally ill parent, a child facing problems in school, an unwanted divorce or the loss of a friend or financial investments.It is difficult to introduce the benefits of thanksgiving to someone in crisis.That is why I encourage everyone to learn and use this tool immediately and often. Thanksgiving as a consistent part of your life will not only bring in more positive experiences, but it willarm you with stronger defenses for the hard times that are inevitable in life.Even when things seem to be hummingalong, it is easy to become discouraged by simply watching the news or reading something tragic. It is easy to feel overwhelmed and helpless in this hyper-connected world we all live in.Thanksgiving will help you tune out the disconcerting chatter in your head and promote a sense of calm and focus.By consciously focusing on those people who give us support and care; life circumstances that make us feel lucky and blessed; and any experiences that bring us joy and satisfaction, we are sure to find ourselves in a happier, more productive state. Once you have experienced the positive effects of thanksgiving, you can deliver what I like to call conscious acts of gratitude. Here are some of my favorites:Social media shoutouts—public thanks to a friend who helped you, a mate who made you smile, a child who has made you proud.Gushing appreciation notes—Post-its, Post-its, everywhere! Grab a stack of those little sticky notes and write terms of endearment on 10 or 20. Hide them around the house. Leave the recipient wondering, “Will this gushing of appreciation ever end?”Take it upon yourself to do someone’s mundane household chore. Do this act quickly, quietly and as an expression of gratitude–not to score points or earn some gratitude of your own, but to show that someone cares enough to take a task off their list.Do something that’s surprising or special—bring someone a book from a favorite author or a trail of rose petals leading up to their door with a sign that says“Thank You!”Thanksgiving is not necessarily directed at another person. It is a state of mind to be cultivated inside your own head.If you practice regularly thinking thankful thoughts, they will lighten your mood and likely put a smile on your face–whether anyone knows you are doing it or not. Giving thanks works as a magnet: It redirects your feelings into a positive zone.Most of us know that having a positive state of mind is good for us emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually. There are also often secondary gains as well. Your upbeat state of mind can impact how others feel about you and treat you.Last fall, I worked with a client I’ll call Karen. Karen was a 42-year-old single woman who almost always spent the holidays alone. When we met in October, Karen was depressed. Another holiday season was fast approaching, and she was certain she would be by herself. She spent her first session with me talking about her isolated and lonely life, her failed relationships, her financial struggles and her dead-end job. Apparently, Karen was thankfulfor nothing.Still, after some probing, I discovered that she had two friends whom she felt close to; she really liked her boss and she loved listening through her apartment wall to her neighbor playing the piano. I assigned Karen to practice thanksgiving daily toward one of the few precious things in her life we had discovered. She was then to perform some conscious act of gratitude. By December, each person in her life she was thankful for had invited her to an activity over the holidays, and she had even found herself a loveinterest!Welcoming thanksgiving and gratitude into your life promotes feelings of calm and warmth. Thanksgiving makes you feel more motivated, enthusiastic, driven and satisfied. It wards off the blues and negative thinking. People who have an established thanksgiving ritual enjoy more friends, less conflict at work, raise happier children and enjoy more satisfying romantic relationships.Thanksgiving requires very little time, money or skill, yet offers enormous rewards.Don’t just take my word for the magic that comes out of thanksgiving. Make a commitment that you will find a way to observe the wonderful and meaningful people and parts of your life, and give thanks every day for a week…you’ll see what happens.In case you were wondering, I personally count my blessings and give thanks every single day. And so I don’t give Turkey Day short shrift, I count everything I’m thankful for on that daytwice!Stacy Kaiser is a successful Southern California-based licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. With more than 100 television appearances on major networks, including CNN, NBC, CBS and FOX, Stacy has built a reputation for bringing a unique mix of thoughtful and provocative insights to a wide range of topics. You can learn more about Stacy on her website.
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Satisfaction with Life Scale

To understand life satisfaction scores, it is helpful to understand some of the components that go into most people’s experience of satisfaction. One of the most important influences on happiness is social relationships. People who score high on life satisfaction tend to have close and supportive family and friends, whereas those who do not have close friends and family are more likely to be dissatisfied. Of course the loss of a close friends of family member can cause dissatisfaction with life, and it may take quite a time for the person to bounce back from the loss.Another factor that influences the life satisfaction of most people is work or school, or performance is an important role such as homemaker or grandparent. When the person enjoys his or her work, whether it is paid or unpaid work, and feels that it is meaningful and important, this contributes to life satisfaction. When work is going poorly because of bad circumstances or a poor fit with the person’s strengths, this can lower life satisfaction. When a person has important goals, and is failing to make adequate progress toward them, this too can lead to life dissatisfaction.A third factor that influences the life satisfaction of most people is personal—satisfaction with the self, religious or spiritual life, learning and growth, and leisure. For many people these are sources of satisfaction. However, when these sources of personal worth are frustrated, they can be powerful sources of dissatisfaction. Of course there are additional sources of satisfaction and dissatisfaction—some that are common to most people such as health, and others that are unique to each individual. Most people know the factors that lead to their satisfaction or dissatisfaction, although a person’s temperament—a general tendency to be happy or unhappy—can color their responses.There is no one key to life satisfaction, but rather a recipe that includes a number of ingredients. With time and persistent work, people’s life satisfaction usually goes up when they are dissatisfied. People who have had a loss recover over time. People who have a dissatisfying relationship or work often make changes over time that will increase their dissatisfaction. One key ingredient to happiness, as mentioned above, is social relationships, and another key ingredient is to have important goals that derive from one’s values, and to make progress toward those goals. For many people it is important to feel a connection to something larger than oneself. When a person tends to be chronically dissatisfied, they should look within themselves and ask whether they need to develop more positive attitudes to life and the world. In most ways, my life is close to ideal. Strongly Agree Agree Slightly Agree Neither Agree or Disagree Slightly Disagree Disagree Strongly Disagree The conditions of my life are excellent. Strongly Agree Agree Slightly Agree Neither Agree or Disagree Slightly Disagree Disagree Strongly Disagree I am satisfied with my life. Strongly Agree Agree Slightly Agree Neither Agree or Disagree Slightly Disagree Disagree Strongly Disagree So far I have gotten the important things I want in life. Strongly Agree Agree Slightly Agree Neither Agree or Disagree Slightly Disagree Disagree Strongly Disagree If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing. Strongly Agree Agree Slightly Agree Neither Agree or Disagree Slightly Disagree Disagree Strongly Disagree Your Score 30 – 35: Very high score, highly satisfied Respondents who score in this range love their lives and feel that things are going very well. Their lives are not perfect, but they feel that things are about as good as lives get. Furthermore, just because the person is satisfied does not mean she or he is complacent. In fact, growth and challenge might be part of the reason the respondent is satisfied. For most people in this high-scoring range, life is enjoyable, and the major domains of life are going well—work or school, family, friends, leisure and personal development.25 – 29: High scoreIndividuals who score in this range like their lives and feel that things are going well. Of course their lives are not perfect, but they fell that things are mostly good. Furthermore, just because the person is satisfied does not mean she or he is complacent. In fact, growth and challenge might be part of the reason the respondent is satisfied. For most people in this high-scoring range, life is enjoyable, and the major domains of life are going well—work or school, family, friends, leisure and personal development. The person may draw motivation from the areas of dissatisfaction.20 – 24: Average scoreThe average of life satisfaction in economically developed nations is in this range—the majority of people are generally satisfied, but have some areas where they very much would like some improvement. Some individuals score in this range because they are mostly satisfied with most areas of their lives but they see the need for some improvement in each area. Other respondents score in this range because they are satisfied with most domains of their lives, but have one or two areas where they would like to see large improvements. A person scoring in this range is normal in that they have areas of their lives that need improvement. However, an individual in this range would usually like to move to a higher level by making some life changes.15 – 19: Slightly below average in life satisfactionPeople who score in this range usually have small but significant problems in several areas of their lives, or have many areas that are doing fine but one area that represents a substantial problem for them. If a person has moved temporarily into this level of life satisfaction from a higher level because of some recent event, things will usually improve over time and satisfaction will generally move back up. On the other hand, if a person is chronically slightly dissatisfied with many areas of life, some changes might be in order. Sometimes the person is simply expecting too much, and sometimes life changes are needed. Thus, although temporary dissatisfaction is common and normal, a chronic level of dissatisfaction across a number of areas of life calls for reflection. Some people can gain motivation from a small level dissatisfaction, but often dissatisfaction across a number of life domains is a distraction, and unpleasant as well.10 – 14: DissatisfiedPeople who score in this range are substantially dissatisfied with their lives. People in this range may have a number of domains that are not going well, or one or two domains that are doing very badly. If life dissatisfaction is a response to a recent event such as bereavement, divorce, or a significant problem at work, the person will probably return over time to his or her former level of higher satisfaction. However, if low levels of life satisfaction have been chronic for the person, some changes are in order—both in attitudes and patterns of thinking, and probably in life activities as well. Low levels of life satisfaction in this range, if they persist, can indicate that things are going badly and life alterations are needed. Furthermore, a person with low life satisfaction in this range is sometimes not functioning well because their unhappiness serves as a distraction. Talking to a friend, member of the clergy, counselor, or other specialist can often help the person get moving in the right direction, although positive change will be up to the person.5 – 9: Extremely DissatisfiedIndividuals who score in this range are usually extremely unhappy with their current life. In some cases this is in reaction to some recent bad event such as widowhood or unemployment. In other cases, it is a response to a chronic problem such as alcoholism or addiction. In yet other cases the extreme dissatisfaction is a reaction due to something bad in life such as recently having lost a loved one. However, dissatisfaction at this level is often due to dissatisfaction in multiple areas of life. Whatever the reason for the low level of life satisfaction, it may be that the help of others are needed—a friend or family member, counseling with a member of the clergy, or help from a psychologist or other counselor. If the dissatisfaction is chronic, the person needs to change, and often others can help.
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