Living for Likes

Living for Likes

Matt had been ready to propose for months. He had the ring, he had the woman of his dreams—but what he didn’t have, he feared, was a good enough proposal. Weeks passed, and while his soon-to-be-fiancée grew increasingly impatient, Matt became more and more anxious. Not because he was afraid she’d say “no,” but because he was afraid the proposal wouldn’t look good enough on Facebook. How could he compete with flash mobs and choreography? All he had was a ring and good intentions. How would his heartfelt romantic notions stand up under the scrutiny of the web? For your viewing pleasure My sister-in-law told me this story (the eventual bride is her cousin) just days after I had seen a similar piece on the news on how social media has turned the tradition of asking someone to prom into an online spectacle. “Promposals” are the latest thing, with extravagant invitations that rival many marriage proposals and are typically captured on video for immediate upload. Many of the teens interviewed in the segment acknowledged they felt a great deal of pressure to live up to a Facebook-worthy ask. They knew they would be judged by a jury of their peers, and felt pressure to, as they say on the TV show Survivor, “outwit, outplay and outlast” their competition. In a world dominated by social media, where every move seems to be Snapchatted, Instagrammed, Facebooked or Periscoped, it appears that we’re endangering the art of just “being.” We’re so busy capturing the moment for posterity that we may forget to live in it. Checking out by checking in Most of us, myself included, enjoy sharing our life moments online with those we care about. Social media allows me to keep up with friends’ vacation plans, participate from afar as their children (and puppies and grandchildren) grow up, celebrate the high points and be able to respond immediately to their losses. I’ve learned things about them I probably never would have known in the “real” world and have found commonalities and differences that I never knew existed. As rewarding as it can be to nurture these friendships, experts have expressed concern about how social media and our active online lives are making us recalibrate what’s important to us. While we want to capture special moments, record them and share with friends, the tools we use to do so may end up taking us away from the very experiences we are attempting to capture. We become tethered to our smartphones, afraid we’ll miss “that perfect moment.” And yet, while looking down at those phones, uploading our most recent photo, that may be exactly what we’re doing. What’s the harm? In his book Our Virtual Shadow: Why We Are Obsessed With Documenting Our Lives Online, entrepreneur Damon Brown looks at how constantly documenting our activities prevents us from fully enjoying them. Frequent check-ins, tweets and status updates may serve as what Silicon Valley tech culture expert Paul Philleo calls “anchors of memory.” These anchors allow us to piece together a timeline of where we’ve been and what we’ve done in the past days, weeks, months and years. But as we become more concerned about documenting the moment than we are with being in it, Damon says, we’re shortchanging ourselves of the experience. And it runs contrary to the current pursuit that many of us have: to learn to live in the moment. “We’re running a fool’s errand,” he writes, “sacrificing everything to capture our lives, even if that requires not being fully present in those lives as we are living them.” That’s not to say we should abandon this online documentation, but Damon is among those who say we need to reevaluate its priority. He suggests we each begin to look at how we’re using social media and curb what he sees as a sort of Pavlovian response to events—that inevitable, almost automatic, reach for the phone. Maybe next time you feel the temptation, instead of taking a picture, take a breath—and then take a moment to enjoy it. Paula Felps is the science editor at Live Happy magazine.
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5 Ways to Commit and Make it Stick

5 Ways to Commit and Make it Stick

Have you ever wondered what makes us emotionally committed? Some people are committed because they have strong feelings for a person, place or purpose. Others are striving to reach a goal. Some make commitments out of a sense of obligation because their job or relationship requires it from them. Commitment is the emotional backbone that gives us strength, determination and focus and that deeply connects to our feelings of happiness and well-being. It is nearly impossible to talk about commitment without talking about engagement. Engagement is the act that demonstrates commitment. For example, you cannot just buy a plant and announce your commitment to take care of it. While it may be interesting for you to shout out in the store, “I am buying this plant, and I will nurture it and make it grow!” the true proof is in the actions you take after you have brought it home. You will need to provide it with sunshine and water, prune its leaves and regularly tend to it. Show, don't tell Life works very much the same way. I have worked with countless couples who say they do not want to divorce, people who claim they do not want to lose their jobs or say they want to be better parents, but they are not actively engaged in demonstrating their commitments. For example, you can show up to work and sit at your desk and call yourself “committed to your job,” and yet if you do not show engagement by being responsible, meeting deadlines, thinking creatively to solve problems and meeting customer needs, then you will not be as successful because you are not, in fact, truly committed. To assess how engaged you or someone else is in a commitment, first look at actions. The difference lies in whether one is locked into what I call “passive commitment” or “active engagement.” Passive commitment is when you say you are invested or committed but you wait for things to happen instead of taking action on your own. Here are 5 ways to build up your active engagement skills: 1. Make conscious commitments and have a plan to back them up Announce your action, such as, “I am committed to spending more quality time with my family,” or “I am committed to helping others more than I have in the past.” 2. Team up Surround yourself with others who are actively engaged in what’s important to them. Team up with a friend, colleague, life partner or business partner. It is easier to be committed when you are working toward something together that you all care about. 3. Let your actions do the talking Your actions, language and body language all reflect your engagement. Follow through on your conscious commitments. 4. Balance expectations Make a schedule to invest the necessary time and energy to be engaged in what’s important in your life. Balance your abilities to meet others’ expectations as well as your own. 5. Regularly evaluate your commitments Do you have too many or not the right ones? It can be difficult to maintain momentum if you are unhappy or if you feel that what you are investing in is not accomplishing the desired results. Take time out to examine the situation and adjust as needed. The good news about building skills in the area of engaged commitment is that they apply to any endeavor you care about: relationships, work, family, health and community. So now is the time to take the first step. Determine what’s important to you, commit to those people or actions and engage to become a better, happier you. Stacy Kaiser is an editor at large for Live Happy.
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Tom Rath: Are You Fully Charged

Are You Living Fully Charged?

Most of us plow through life operating at a fraction of our capacity. We manage to make it through each day, but create far less well-being than what’s possible. Based on research we conducted for the documentary Fully Charged, a mere 20 percent of people spent a lot of time doing meaningful work in a given day. Only 16 percent had extremely positive interactions. Perhaps most disturbing, out of 10,000 people surveyed, just 11 percent said they had a great deal of energy. Charge yourself first Simply getting through a day is not good for you, your work or the people you care about most. Even if you orient your entire mission in life around serving others—as great parents, teachers, nurses and leaders often do—it is impossible to be your best if you fail to charge yourself first.In recent years, I have spent a great deal of time with nurses, physicians and leaders in health care. Within this general field, one of the groups I admire most is hospice and home care nurses. I deeply admire their desire to serve others. On a daily basis, hospice nurses put the needs of terminally ill patients and their families first. As a result, the last thing they think about is their own health and energy. Yet when I ask hospice nurses what it takes to be their very best at helping people during this time of need, they acknowledge that they could be of far more service if they invested time in their own health and energy. At risk of burnout A study of more than 30,000 nurses across Europe found that those who work long shifts (more than 12 hours) are 30 percent more likely to rate the quality of care on their wards as poor, compared with nurses working eight-hour shifts. They were also 41 percent more likely to report failing or poor standards of safety on their wards. In many cases, working longer hours is a disservice to those you intend to serve. I have seen this phenomenon play out in homes and businesses around the world. At work, there is often an implicit pressure to be the first into the office, to work the longest days and to claim you need very little sleep. Yet the last thing businesses need is star performers in the workplace burning out because they have a routine that is unsustainable. Take care of yourself to take care of others The research my team conducted on this topic found that people who have very high energy levels in a given day are more than three times as likely to be completely engaged in their work that same day. If you want to make a difference—not just today, but for many years to come—you need to put your health and energy ahead of all else. If you are wiped out from working around the clock, subsisting on food from a vending machine and not making time for daily exercise, then there is no way you’ll be effective at helping your friends, family, colleagues, patients or customers. The good news is that making choices to improve your energy does not require a complex grand plan. It all starts with the next small choice you make. Tom Rath is a researcher, filmmaker and author of six international best-sellers, including StrengthsFinder 2.0, Eat Move Sleep, and Are You Fully Charged? His most recent work includes the feature-length documentary Fully Charged, a film featuring many of the world’s top social scientists. Listen to our Live Happy Now podcast with Tom for more.
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Woman doing an easy yoga pose.

Four Yoga Poses to Try Right Now

At your desk at work? In need of a short break? No problem. In fact, your office—or a nearby park as our Live Happy team recently discovered—is the perfect place to learn about the benefits of yoga. Three years ago, Matt Sanderson, a practicing attorney in the Dallas area, wandered into a yoga studio out of curiosity and was hooked after the first class. Before long, his colleagues told him they barely recognized him and wanted to know what he was doing differently to increase focus and fitness and lower stress levels. From lawyer to yogi “Stress is part of every lawyer’s job, and I won’t pretend that it’s not still hard,” Matt says. “However, after taking yoga and now as a teacher, that stress takes on a different form. When I can remember that, which is still hard for me like it is for everyone, stress is not nearly as internalized as it once was.” As part of his yoga teacher training, Matt was directed to give free community service classes. “The folks at my law firm had heard that I was becoming a teacher, and they actually insisted that I teach at the firm. After 10 classes or so, the class solidified, and Yogis On The Go was born.” Practice yoga anywhere Matt, founder and president of the traveling yoga company, says, “Our yoga students have seen weight loss, arthritis reduction, the reduction in lower back pain and swelling, and many more physical improvements. Additionally, especially forthose in the office environment, the yoga we offer works like a release for anxiety, stress and many other mental challenges as well.” Four poses to practice at the office include: Simple Sitting Pose: This can be done even in a chair or at your desk. Just close your eyes and breathe. Forward Fold: Stand up, slightly bend your knees, and bend at the waist. Then, release the head. Seated Twist: Either on the floor or in a chair, place one hand on the opposite knee. Look over the shoulder, pull up through the crown of the head, and twist on the exhale. Seated Oblique Stretch: Either on the floor or in a chair, take both hands high. Use one hand to pull the opposite wrist over the head, but ground down through the hips to increase the stretch. “The practice of yoga is one of the most meaningful things I do in life, and when I teach, I have the blessing of bringing that same feeling of peace and happiness into the lives of others,” Matt says. “There's almost no greater thing I can do for people than to teach them to find happiness in their lives, and that's the reason I started Yogis On The Go.” Pick up the fall 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine for more exercises and poses from Matt.
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Woman looking off into the distance

Nothing Compares to You

I was 8 years old the first time I had the feeling that I wasn’t good enough. I had just moved schools; all of the other girls at my new school wore designer jeans and took private dance lessons from someone named Miss Barbara, while I went to the community center. The other girls seemed wealthier, prettier, more sophisticated, more confident. I felt like a loser next to them, and so I became desperate to fit in. I would have done anything to be like them and be liked by them. This kind of social comparison led to decades of feeling unworthy, unlikable and just plain not enough. As a teen I thought, if I could just wear different jeans or make the cheerleading squad, then I would be enough. At some point though, the comparison turned from motivating to self-defeating. For years, I thought I was the only one who eyed other women with envy, who walked into every room and gauged my social standing by seeing others as more than or less than me based on their looks, intelligence and wealth. Why do we compare? Comparing yourself to others in this way is crippling—particularly for women. Every time we do it, we devalue our worth and kill our joy. So why do we do it? Thousands of years ago, social comparison may have helped our early ancestors survive. If your neighbors found food or avoided predators, it was an evolutionary advantage to watch them closely and follow their lead. Today, though, this evolutionary benefit is a hindrance. Research from Stanford University and elsewhere has long shown that constantly assessing yourself against others and judging yourself inferior is associated with depression, envy, isolation and low self-esteem. Plus, the more you do it, the more destructive it is because you build strong neural pathways of negativity. Social media: the ultimate comparison delivery system These days you don’t need a research study to prove it: Just look at your Facebook feed. Maybe you’re one of the lucky few who feels awesome watching everyone else’s highlight reels, but most people feel downright depressed staring at picture-perfect families, exotic vacations and promotions. We need to do what we can to help our adolescent kids navigate through this new minefield of self-esteem killing media. I’ve put a lot of work into healing myself and regaining my self-esteem and self-worth. The result is a joyous inner peace I haven’t known since I was a little girl (before I moved schools). You, too, can let go of social comparison and feel this way. Here’s how: 1. Have self-compassion It isn’t your fault that you compare, so be gentle when you do. Love the younger you who created these patterns, then give her a break. She’s done her job and you now can choose another way. Kristin Neff has done great research on self-compassion and has a variety of online tools you can use. 2. Reframe your worth Your value as a human is not based on what you have, but who you are. Ask your friends what they love about you and repeat that to yourself often to rewire your brain’s automatic thoughts. 3. Get support and heal Begin a self-care process to heal old wounds. Get support from a therapist or a coach and include anxiety-relief techniques like meditation, acupuncture and lavender baths. Spend time in activities you love and with people who feed your soul. 4. Claim your unique beauty Would you compare the beauty of a sunset to that of a field of sunflowers? Of course not. They are each beautiful and so are you. Know your unique strengths and build upon them to shine. 5. Be inspired (not defeated) by what you see in others It is possible to make comparisons in a healthy, positive way. My friend and colleague Emiliya Zhivotovskaya taught me to quote When Harry Met Sally: “I’ll have what she’s having.” Then create a plan to get it. Positive intention, encouragement and planning lead to goal achievement. One caveat: check in about why you want to be as skinny as Judy or as successful as Joe. If it’s ego, let it go. If it’s meaningful, make it your own and make it positive, such as saying, “I want to be healthy,” instead of, “I wish I were skinnier.” Whatever you do, decide to end the cycle now. Comparison kills joy and quashes self-worth. Enough is enough! Start loving yourself now, for who you are. Listen to our podcast: 5 Steps to a More Confident You with Carin Rockind. Carin Rockind is a speaker, author and coach with a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) from the University of Pennsylvania.
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Hands of women meditating.

The Benefits of Compassion Meditation

Lately it seems that everyone is singing the praises of meditation and its magical properties. Not only die-hard acolytes such as film director David Lynch, but also people in the news, from British comedian Russell Brand to ABC correspondentDan Harris have credited meditation with their recovery from addiction, depression and anxiety. From fringe to mainstream Many of us are aware of meditation as a way of getting rid of stress and achieving a sense of inner peace. What was once the domain of West Coast seekers and wannabe gurus is now nearly ubiquitous, and as accepted into the mainstream as yoga. In fact, some people may have gotten a first whiff of meditation in yoga class, or even in a therapy setting. There are various different kinds of meditation, and they originate from several Eastern religious practices. In the West, the most familiar kind is probably TM or transcendental meditation, which comes from a Hindu tradition. It was popularized in the 1960s by the MaharishiMahesh Yogi, who famously taught it to The Beatles. Vipassana and Zen are also well-known and come from a Buddhist tradition. Loving Kindness as a form of meditation A somewhat lesser known but increasingly popular type of meditation is compassion meditation. This practice emerges from the Buddhist concept of “Loving Kindness,” or mettā. During compassion meditation, the goal is to build a sense of empathy and connectedness to the people around us. This can be done either on your own, using a series of thoughts, feelings and visualizations, or with the help of a guided meditation, such as an audio recording. (Many audio recordings are available as apps, podcasts and MP3s. We have included one below to give you an example.) Academic studies There is growing interest in compassion meditation, not just as a way to increase compassion, but as a relatively easy and accessible tool for improving wellbeing as a whole. In 2013, a study from the University of Wisconsin, Madison, concluded that “cultivating compassion and kindness through meditation affects brain regions that can make a person more empathetic to other peoples' mental states.” At Emory University in Atlanta, the Emory-Tibet Partnership offers an eight-week program of “Cognitively-Based Compassion Training.” Though the training is secular, it comes out of the tradition of Tibetan meditation (as well as cognitive behavioral therapy), and its aim is to “develop attention and stability of mind,” along with other possible benefits. Recently, a study conducted by the Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education found that the regular practice of compassion meditation had a significant effect on the subjects’ sense of compassion for others and themselves, as well as increased empathy and mindfulness. At the same time, they also found an improvement in positive emotion and satisfaction with life. Unlike medication, it has no side effects; and unlike therapy, it’s free. So let’s lie down and get started! Guided compassion meditation You'll find plenty of examples of guided loving-kindness and compassion meditations online and in apps. Try several and find ones that you like best. Here is a link to several guided compassion meditations done by Kristen Neff, Ph.D., professor at University of Texas, Austin, and author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.
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Two Nutrients You Can't Live Without

Two Nutrients You Can’t Live Without

I’m a psychiatrist, and a few years back, I changed how I practice medicine. A new class of medications was causing a series of side effects for the patients in our clinic. While these medications were often necessary prescriptions, patients began to gain weight at an alarming rate and frequently developed diabetes and high blood pressure. Healthy eating and exercise were major interests in my personal life, and I’d been a vegetarian for about a decade, but I hadn’t been talking to my patients about food and lifestyle choices. Food became a focus of my work. Increasingly curious about what my patients ate, I was also determined to find out what I should advise them to eat based on scientific evidence. The power of nutrients I started reading about the recent advances in the science of nutrition, and felt foolish as I realized that the standard advice I was offering—“don’t eat cholesterol or fat”—was both scientifically wrong and woefully inadequate. I also learned that my vegetarian diet wasn’t likely the healthiest. In my new book, Eat Complete: The 21 Nutrients That Fuel Brainpower, Boost Weight Loss, and Transform Your Health, I identify the 21 nutrients (vitamins, minerals, fats, proteins, plant-based phytonutrients and health-promoting bacteria) that are essential for the health of our bodies and brains. I’ve selected them based on science and on the reality that Americans are missing a number of key nutrients in their diets. The simple and scary truth is that the majority of people eat a diet lacking the most important nutrients for health. Let’s look at just two of those nutrients and why you require them. ZINC Zinc, a mineral, is key to your immune function (your body’s defense system that protects you from infections, cancer and excess inflammation). Zinc is one of the main reasons you need to eat seafood or meat to get all the 21 vital nutrients (“eat complete”). Plants contain zinc, but they hold on to it quite tightly—so tightly that you don’t absorb much. And while grains contain zinc, 80 percent of that zinc is lost when grains are refined, which is one of several reasons that you should always eat whole grains. While doctors routinely check for the levels of many minerals, they do not test for zinc because it is nearly impossible to diagnose low levels of it. Stress can cause zinc levels to drop, as can illness and heavy exercise. The symptoms of zinc deficiency are very diverse because zinc is central to so many functions—your immune system, your ability to burn fats and carbohydrates and even the ability for your cells to divide. Zinc is so crucial to your health that if you are deficient in it, you also become functionally deficient in vitamin A and folate, two of the other 21 essential nutrients, as zinc is needed for those substances to be effective. Taking too much zinc in supplement form can impair immune function and cause gastrointestinal distress—all the more reason to get the zinc that you need from the food that you eat. VITAMIN B12 (COBALAMIN) B12 is one of two vitamins that predict the rate of how fast your brain shrinks as you age. It’s a depressing thought, but all brains eventually shrink as you grow older. To slow that shrinkage, maximize your absorption of vitamin B12 by keeping the stomach and gut healthy, and eat the most concentrated sources of B12. Low levels of vitamin B12 can cause irreversible damage to brain and nerve cells at any age. And an actual B12 deficiency causes depression, anemia and even psychotic symptoms such as extreme paranoia or hearing voices. B12 deficiency is common in many populations, with vegans and vegetarians at the greatest risk as meat and animal products such as dairy are the only sources of B12. Vegans must take supplements, and vegetarians must rely on dairy and/or supplements. Deficiency is also common in people over 50, as some people produce less stomach acid as they age, and this is a crucial element for B12 absorption from food. Acid reflux medications also decrease acid production and interfere with the body’s ability to absorb B12. Listen to our podcast with Dr. Drew: Happier With Every Bite Zinc Facts Amount you should eat per day: Women, 8 milligrams; men, 11 milligrams. Insufficient dietary intake: 42% of U.S. population. Deficiency risk factors: Vegetarian diet, pregnancy and lactation, and heavy alcohol use. Diuretic medication can increase excretion by the kidney by 60 percent. Top five food sources: Oysters (413% of your Recommended Daily Allowance can be found in six oysters), steak (175% in one 5-ounce steak), sesame seeds (34% in ¼ cup), pumpkin seeds (31% in ¼ cup) and ground turkey (23% in 3 ounces). B12 Facts Amount you should eat per day: 2.4 micrograms for women and men. Insufficient dietary intake: 20% of U.S. population and 73% of vegans have blood levels that are deficient or insufficient. Top 5 food sources: Clams (1,401% of the Recommended Daily Allowance can be found in 3 ounces), beef liver (1,178% in 3 ounces), mussels (833% in 3 ounces), sardines (338% in 3 ounces), crab (127% in 3 ounces), trout (106% in 3 ounces) and wild salmon (82% in 3 ounces). Dr. Drew Ramsey is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. Drew uses the latest findings in brain science to help people live their healthiest, happiest lives. His forthcoming book, due out in April, is Eat Complete: The 21 Nutrients That Fuel Brainpower, Boost Weight Loss, and Transform Your Health.
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How to Give Advice

How to Give Advice

I was recently at lunch with a group of friends when one of them mentioned that her struggle to balance work and family was leaving her unhappy and grumpy. Specifically, she realized she had started taking her frustration out on her husband and children. At this point in the conversation, it seemed clear that she needed some advice on how to better reduce stress and find balance. Because I’m a psychotherapist and relationship expert, I chimed in. As I began to make some suggestions, she brushed me off in an insulted tone and told me that the way she was handling the situation (being chronically grouchy to her family) was just fine. That moment was very awkward, as we all got quiet at the table. After lunch, a few of us exchanged a flurry of text messages, trying to figure out what had happened. Sometimes we want to give our friends good advice, but deciding whether or not to offer it and how far to push it is a challenge.We do not want to offend our friends by telling them what they are doing wrong in a situation, yet we do not want to sit by and watch them make a mistake that could be harmful to themselves or others. Advice etiquette How does one determine whether or not to offer advice? In my opinion, there are a few factors that need to be weighed: How close is your relationship with that person? How much damage will be done if you do not try to step in? How open is the person to receiving advice? It is also important to keep in mind that adults are entitled to make their own decisions and that sometimes we will not agree with those decisions. If you are in a sticky advice-giving situation, try following the plan suggested by a researcher named Bo Feng at UC Davis. Feng conducted a study in which he determined that Americans, as a culture, are in need of support and reassurance if they are to successfully receive advice. Specifically, he found that those of us who want to give advice need to 1) show emotional support to the recipient, and 2) provide justification for the advice. He found this to be particularly true if the advice was not asked for by the recipient. Rethinking the situation If I were to follow his method, here's how I would have handled the situation differently with my friend at lunch: I would make a plan to talk to her privately and let her know how much I care for her and her family, and that I realize how difficult it is to juggle work and home life (this is the emotional support part). I would then let her know that I had been thinking about our conversation at lunch and realized that, even though she felt like her husband and kids could handle her treating them in a less than kind way, it is not healthy for any of them. I would let her know that she would be better off relieving her stress by taking a walk, giving back to others, joining a gym or engaging in a favorite hobby. Her family would be more supportive and understanding of her if she did not take her problems out on them (this is the justification part). I would then hope that my advice would make a positive impact. If she were still not open to my suggestions, I would default to the following list of suggestions: 1. Offer support Let her know that, if at any time she wants my support, advice or help in anyway, I will be there. 2. Be empathetic Let her know that I understand how she is feeling and do my best to relate to her emotional experience. (Sometimes people will realize that they need to change how they are thinking if someone is there in a supportive way.) 3. Share Sometimes if you share a similar experience, that person is more likely to hear what she is doing incorrectly. 4. Try not to run an agenda Keep in mind that this is her life, not mine. What might be right for me may not be right for her. 5. Stay connected She is still my friend, and I will continue to be there for her. *** If none of these strategies work, there are times when you simply need to walk away. Not everyone is open to our advice, no matter how expert or helpful it may be. Stacy Kaiseris a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book,How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, and an editor-at-large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such asTodayandGood Morning America.
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Just 10 Minutes a Day

Just 10 Minutes a Day

When I read Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, I started a love affair with habits. I’ve always loved setting goals, but I’d often end up frustrated with myself (or blame it on not enough hours in a day) if I didn’t get enough accomplished in a week. Then I read this snippet from Gretchen’s book: “With the right habits in place, you can effortlessly go through your day and do the things you want to do.” That’s when I decided to focus more on my habits than an endless list of to-dos. What did I discover? In just 10 minutes a day you can accomplish something that, over time, will move you toward the life you really want. 1. Read every day Before having twin toddlers, I was much better at reading every day. Pre-kiddos reading is much easier for all of us, but we can give ourselves the gift of reading with just 10 minutes before going to bed. And on nights when you have the energy or get absorbed in a really good part, you just may read on. 2. Help one person I write this on my to-do list each day. You can help someone by giving a compliment, writing a positive review, making a referral to give someone a business lead, cooking/baking and sharing, really listening, recommending a book, introducing new friends or forwarding an article. 3. Drink water We all know we are supposed to drink a ton of the stuff every day (8 glasses of 8 ounces) but who does it? Keep a reusable water bottle within arm’s reach all day (carry it with you everywhere) and you will easily get enough water. Your 10 minutes of sipping will be dispersed throughout the day. 4. Reach out My dad lives several states away, so I cut out articles I think he might like and send them to him snail mail. Or I send him a picture or two of his granddaughters because he doesn’t do Facebook. In just 10 minutes, you can write a short note, or send an email to someone you care about or love. 5. Generate ideas We are always busy doing. Or busy being busy. Take 10 minutes for creative brainstorm time. Blog ideas. Business ideas. Come up with new experiences to do with your family. Having something to look forward to makes us happier. 6. Keep your journal from collecting dust I would love to write pages of stream-of-consciousness thoughts for as long as I wanted. But since I don’t have that luxury, I take 10 minutes instead to write a short list about three things I am grateful for. Bonus: This practice makes you happier. 7. Take a short walk I am a wee bit competitive with myself and others. If I am down steps on my Fitbit and far from my daily goal, I can jog in place while I watch the nightly news. Too much sitting isn’t good for you anyway. Take the whole family for a 10-minute walk post-dinner…now that it’s lighter longer. 8. Learn something new I’d totally appreciate college more now than I did when I actually attended. If you like taking notes and learning new things, take 10 minutes a day and tune in to a podcast, watch a video, read an informative article or watch part of a webinar. Watch your knowledge grow by leaps and bounds. 9. Clean out one small thing It may be too daunting to tackle the piles that seem to have grown by themselves all over your house (or office) like stalagmites, but if you take 10 minutes to deal with one discrete pile or corner, you will gain a definite sense of accomplishment. 10. Make your own habits list My list might not be your list. What habits would shift your days into the direction you want to head? Gretchen writes: “There's a great satisfaction in knowing that we've made good use of our days, that we've lived up to our expectations of ourselves.”Now take 10 minutes and make your habits list. See if you can effortlessly plow through those habits tomorrow. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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Floating Toward Happiness

Floating Toward Happiness

When Trey Hearn’s brother, Chris, told him about floating, it sounded like a great way to offset back pain. But the brothers, both Air Force veterans, soon discovered there were many other benefits. “I had never been in a place where I had no outside stimuli to distract me,” Trey says. “Floating isn’t just about what it does to your body, it’s what it does to your brain. “I walked out of there completely different than when I went in.” Using a darkened tank filled with skin-temperature water and hundreds of pounds of salt, floating creates a complete sensory deprivation environment—and it’s getting a fresh look from both brain researchers and the medical community these days. The salt creates buoyancy to simulate a zero-gravity environment, and free of light, sound and other distractions, supporters claim it provides physical, mental and emotional rejuvenation. Studies show it lowers cortisol levels, decreases blood pressure and is successful in treating chronic pain. “I call it the ultimate ‘reset’ button,” says Justin Feinstein, Ph.D., clinical neuropsychologist at the Laureate Institute for Brain Research in Tulsa, Oklahoma. “All the technology and this 24/7 connection we have today actually increases our levels of stress and anxiety. Floating is a great way to disconnect.” Justin, who specializes in treating anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder, has seen such positive results from floating that he spearheaded the creation of the Float Clinic and Research Center at the brain research institute. The float center, which opened last year, is the first in the world to use fMRI technology to study how the brain reacts to floating (an fMRI detects metabolic changes in the brain, whereas the MRI basically detects anatomical changes). Currently, Sweden leads the world in floating research, where it is studied not only for anxiety and addiction but for depression and long-term, stress-related pain. One recent Swedish research project showed that patients who floated enjoyed better sleep, felt more optimistic and showed increases in the hormone prolactin, which bolsters the immune system and helps regulate metabolism. Other studies show it can reduce phobias, and there are reams of both scientific and anecdotal evidence about its relaxation benefits. Right now, we’re seeing a resurgence in float centers, but I’m one of the only (U.S.) scientists actively researching it,” Justin says. “What we need is a lot more science to show what it’s doing for the brain, because the outcomes are there. I hope in five years it has its own medical journal.” A new look at old science The idea of floating actually goes back to the mid-1950s, when a neuroscientist and psychoanalyst named John C. Lilly created isolation tanks to study the effects of sensory deprivation. His experimentation often overlapped his personal drug use, which Justin says compromised his validity to the scientific community. Scientists picked up the research again in the 1970s, with Peter Suedfeld and Roderick Borrie of the University of British Columbia conducting experiments on the therapeutic benefits of flotation tanks. They introduced the term Restricted Environmental Stimulation Therapy or REST, and today Peter continues researching and speaking on the positive effects of REST. Around the same time, Thomas Fine of the department of psychiatry at the Medical College of Ohio (now University of Toledo) began his research into floating, and in 1978 he co-created a Floatation REST research program at the college. He has since published numerous research papers on the benefits of flotation therapy, focusing primarily on the psychophysiological and endocrine changes related to floating and its effects on stress-related disorders. Thanks to the influx of new research, floating enjoyed moderate popularity in the 1970s and ’80s, then faded. Justin says a changed public consciousness, backed by renewed scientific awareness, is responsible for the current resurgence. “It’s only been in the last couple of years that public interest came back,” he says. “If I had to speculate, I would say that is because we are in the midst of a mindful revolution. This is part of the wave of present moment awareness and the desire for mindfulness. This is an extreme form of mindfulness.” An end to anxiety? Floating sessions are typically 60 to 90 minutes long, and during that time, the lack of sound, light and even tactile sensations allows the brain to completely relax. In that relaxed state, it moves from the busy Beta state to Alpha and, finally, begins producing low-frequency Theta waves, which are the brainwaves produced during REM sleep. Typically, it takes years of meditation practice to reach this state while awake; in floating, it normally occurs after about 30 minutes. “There are interoceptive paths that give our brain a quick readout of the state of our body,” Justin explains, adding that individuals with PTSD or anxiety show disruptions in the normal pathways of the brain. Essentially the amygdala, that part of the brain responsible for the “fight or flight” response, makes a habit of remaining hypervigilant and producing feelings of fear and anxiety. To correct those disturbances, Justin found, “we had to remove the distractions of the external world.” For many years, Justin tried teaching meditation to PTSD patients as a way to calm the mind and begin correcting disrupted brain paths, but he found it unsuccessful because patients were easily distracted. When he discovered floating, he realized he had found the perfect environment. The dark, quiet tank allows patients to reach the deep state of meditation required to begin correcting disrupted brain processes. Floating’s calming effect substantially diminishes anxiety, and repeated studies have shown that the effect remains even after the session has ended. One recent study indicates that four months after concluding a series of 12 float sessions, patients maintained a significant reduction in stress and anxiety. “Anxiety is nearly twice as common as depression, and 40 million Americans suffer from some form of it,” Justin says. “This is an incredible way to bring the brain back to normal function.” Giving back to veterans Trey and Chris Hearn became such firm believers in the benefits of floating that they opened Float Brothers Float Spa in Florida in January. Two of the four float pods are geared specifically to military clients, and those who present a documented medical diagnosis of PTSD are allowed to float free of charge. “Being part of that community, and knowing so many people who are affected by PTSD, we wanted to see what we could do to give back to them,” Trey explains. “Our hope is that, considering all the research that’s being done on it, it will become a certified therapy that psychiatrists and doctors can write a prescription for. Based on the amount of medical research that is being done, I truly believe that’s where we’re headed.” Floating for wellness Not everyone who floats does it to treat anxiety or other disorders, of course. Floating is emerging as a spa experience that allows clients to disconnect, decompress and recharge, as well as a clinical experience for those who have specific physical or emotional challenges they want to address. It has gained favor with celebrities including Susan Sarandon and former Fear Factor host Joe Rogan, the latter of whom claims that floating has made him a “totally different human being” and now airs podcasts touting its benefits. The Australian Institute of Sport, a sports training institution for high performance athletes, uses a flotation tank to aid in recovery as well as promote relaxation and sleep for its clients. The Epsom salt alone has many medical benefits; the National Academy of Sciences reports that most of us are magnesium-deficient, and soaking in the salt lets your body absorb magnesium. Improved levels of magnesium boost the body’s ability to use insulin and regulate electrolytes—and also help relieve stress, improve circulation and ease muscle pain. Unleashing creativity Many centers around the globe now promote floating as part of corporate wellness programs, citing such benefits as greater relaxation, increased productivity and enhanced creativity. While it has proved helpful for the busy business mind, musicians, writers and artists also find that floating helps get their creative juices flowing. Many experience vivid imagery during their float sessions, and Eric Camper, a computer animator who opened Float Source in Cincinnati, Ohio, in 2014, compares it to “dreaming in high definition.” He is presently organizing a project with other animators to see how floating affects their work. Good Floatations, a float center in Boise, Idaho, even started the Floating Artist Project to study how floating affects artists’ creativity, not only in the tank but afterward. A study by the research team of Deborah Forgays and the late Donald G. Forgays of the University of Vermont used three different measurement tools to study the effect of floating on creativity. Their work showed a dramatic increase in creativity scores among a group that floated, while a control group of non-floaters who were left in a dark, quiet environment showed no change. The complete solitude of the tank, combined with the weightlessness created by the high salt content and the silent darkness, allows the brain to temporarily disengage from everyday thoughts and stimuli and deeply relax. With no signals from the brain to be active and “on call,” the body quickly follows suit. Referencing other studies that “provide positive evidence for the enhancement of the creativity process,” Deborah and Donald also observed that floating not only increased the subjects’ creativity scores, but lowered their levels of anxiety, tension, depression and fatigue—all of which are known creativity zappers. “It puts you in a brainwave state that enhances creativity,” explains Alex Ziegler, co-owner of the Northwest Float Center in Tacoma, Washington. “The great thing about floating is, across the board, it just has so many benefits. Once people try it, they tend to fall in love with it.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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