Self-Care | Live Happy

How to Build Your Best Life

In 2007, a group of students at Stanford University’s design institute took on a daunting challenge: Design a low-cost incubator to save the lives of premature infants who were dying from hypothermia in poor countries like Nepal. While still on the Palo Alto, California, campus, the students began considering ways they could lower the cost of incubators by reducing the number of parts or using cheaper materials. But when they got to Nepal, they observed that many of the donated $20,000 incubators in large urban hospitals weren’t being used. And, as they traveled around the country, they noticed that the premature infants who needed those incubators were being born in remote areas. Saving their lives wasn’t a matter of retooling incubators but addressing a different problem: How could preemies in Nepal be kept warm enough in their towns and villages during their critical first days of life to survive? The students went on to create a miniature sleeping bag with a removable pouch that contained a waxlike material. When the pouch is heated in boiling water, the wax becomes a liquid, providing hours of insulated warmth without electricity. The device, called Embrace, costs just over 1 percent of what an incubator costs. It has since been used in 11 countries and has saved the lives of tens of thousands of low-weight babies. Exploring new pursuits A few years ago, Claudia Brown, a high-tech sales executive, was shifting into life as an empty nester. Open to exploring new pursuits, she began asking lots of people about the kinds of things they found interesting. On a visit to a state park near her home in Santa Cruz, California, she chatted with the guide who was leading a talk about elephant seals. Claudia had never heard of elephant seals before, but she loved animals and she loved the outdoors. What do you like about being an elephant seal docent, she asked? How much training does it take? If I wanted to become a docent what would be the first step? It turned out that there were five small steps before committing to the 25-hour training class. Claudia took those steps, one by one, and today she’s an elephant-seal expert and a docent at Año Nuevo State Park, home to one of the largest breeding colonies in the world for the pinniped. Saving lives with a tiny sleeping bag and finding meaning through work as a wildlife docent were the answers to problems from vastly different arenas. But those two solutions were arrived at through the same process: design thinking. It’s a human-centered approach to product design and problem solving that’s based on practices like understanding a problem through rigorous observation, generating tons of ideas with uncensored brainstorming and going out in the real world to explore and test possible solutions. Design thinking is the linchpin of Stanford’s design program. Formally named the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design, it’s widely dubbed simply “the d.school.” The strategy has helped countless engineers and entrepreneurs develop innovative products and launch startups. It has also helped students flourish through classes that teach them how to design a creative, healthy and happy life the same way product designers would take on developing, say, the next-generation smartphone. Change your mindset The mindset of design thinking “aligns beautifully” with the principles of positive psychology, says Dave Evans, co-author with Bill Burnett of the new best-seller Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life. Bill and Dave based their book on their hugely popular Stanford class “Designing Your Life.” Both the class and book rely on positive psychology tenets like finding flow and silencing your inner critic to take a playful, improvisational approach to creative problem solving. “We have drawn many of our ideas and exercises from the work of the positive psychology movement, and especially from the work of [premier positive psychologist] Martin Seligman,” Bill and Dave write in their book’s “Notes” section about elements from a key chapter. Bernard Roth, Ph.D., one of the founders of the d.school, its academic director and the author of The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life ,believes that positive psychology and design thinking share a bedrock optimism. “In design thinking, we see our lives as something we can study and change,” he says. “You’re never stuck. It’s a can-do approach, a maker mentality, that you can apply to all domains of your life to become happier.” Reframing questions and faulty beliefs Design thinking puts as much emphasis on problem finding as it does on problem solving. If you’re losing sleep over a problem you can’t seem to solve, you’re likely working on the wrong problem. That happens, Bernard says, “when we think we’re dealing with a question when, in fact, we’re dealing with an answer that turns out not to be a good fit to our actual problem.” The question of “how to build a cheaper incubator,” for example, was an answer that didn’t address the problem of helping preemie infants in Nepal survive in their remote villages. One way to uncover the real dilemma is to ask, “What would it do for me if I solved this problem?” Say, for example, you’re grappling with the question, “How can I find a romantic partner?” If you ask yourself what finding a partner or spouse would do for you, one answer might be that a partner would make you less lonely. Next, you reframe your original question to, “How might I feel less lonely?” That dramatically expands the number of possible solutions. You could, say, take classes, join a club, get a dog, volunteer and check out some meet-up groups tailored to your interests. Another way we get tripped up, Bill and Dave point out, is by becoming mired in what they call “gravity problems.” A gravity problem is a fact of life, like the force that makes it difficult to ride your bike up steep hills. Or, say, you want to be promoted to CEO but the family-owned company where you work hasn’t named an outsider to its executive ranks in the five generations it’s been in existence. In life design, if something isn’t actionable, it’s not a problem. When you accept that, you’re free to work around the circumstance and find something that is actionable. A huffing-and-puffing cyclist might invest in a lighter bicycle or work on improving her stamina. The family-firm outsider could look for a job with a larger company or celebrate the freedom that comes with not taking on additional responsibilities and find an outside activity—taking a board position with a local charity—that provides the leadership role he’s seeking. While asking the wrong question leads us to dead ends, dysfunctional beliefs keep us stuck in place. These are the myths we tell ourselves that are both false and nongenerative. Reframing them is a key step in designing your life. Some examples that Dave and Bill offer: DYSFUNCTIONAL BELIEF: If you are successful, you will be happy. REFRAME: True happiness comes from designing a life that works for you. DYSFUNCTIONAL BELIEF: It’s too late. REFRAME: It’s never too late to design a life you love. DYSFUNCTIONAL BELIEF: I have to find the one right idea. REFRAME: I need a lot of ideas so that I can explore any number of possibilities for my future. DYSFUNCTIONAL BELIEF: I need to figure out my best possible life, make a plan and then execute it. REFRAME: There are multiple great lives (and plans) within me, and I get to choose which one to build my way toward. DYSFUNCTIONAL BELIEF: I finished designing my life; the hard work is done and everything will be great. REFRAME: You never finish designing your life—life is a joyous and never-ending design project. The art of ideating “You’ll choose better,” Bill and Dave say, “when you have a lot of good ideas to choose from.” That’s why a key element of design thinking is “ideation,” which simply means coming up with a whole slew of ideas. That includes wild and crazy notions, which might not be the fix you’re looking for, but will open you to inventive possibilities. “Mind mapping” is a visual aid to free associating that can help you tap into your idea-generating genius. David Kelley and Tom Kelley, brothers and co-authors of Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All, say they use mind mapping all the time to encourage innovative thinking in both work and home life. (David was one of the creators of the d.school as well as the founder of IDEO, an award-winning global design firm. Tom is a partner at IDEO and an executive fellow at the University of California, Berkeley, Haas School of Business.) “From coming up with ideas for a family vacation to identifying home projects to tackle over the weekend,” they write, “mind maps can be used for all sorts of problem solving.” To create a mind map, all you need is a large piece of paper, a pen and as little as 10 minutes (set a time limit for yourself; doing the exercise quickly is important). For example, David followed the four steps of mind mapping when he was planning a dinner party. 1. Write your central topic or challenge in the middle of the page and circle it. David wrote, “A great dinner party with friends.” 2. Jot down five or six things—the first things you think of—that are related to the central theme. David’s mind map included “everyone in the kitchen,” “make your own sundaes,” “teach something” and “get them out of their comfort zone.” 3. Generate new words and thoughts from the first words that came to mind. Keep going until you have at least three or four layers of word associations. Your time limit will force you to “bypass your inner censor,” as Bill and Dave say, and write whatever comes to your mind first. 4. After your time limit is up, look at your mind map and highlight some words or concepts that jump out at you. You’ll likely find that the outer perimeter of the mind map holds the most innovative ideas, since it’s a few steps away from your automatic thinking. For David, the outer layer included such unlikely ideas as “indoor picnic,” “henna tattoos for all,” “everyone must make a hat on arrival” and “each person assigned to introduce another to the group.” What the mind map made clear was that David wanted lots of interaction at his dinner party, even among people who hadn’t previously met. He ended up throwing a party in which guests changed tables after each course, so everyone in the room got a chance to talk to each other. Moving from ideas to action Design thinking might better be called design doing. That’s because it has a strong bias to action. “When you’re designing your life, you can’t think your way there,” says Dave, “you can only live your way there.” The way you do this is through a process called “prototyping.” In design thinking, prototyping doesn’t mean creating mock-ups or dollhouse-sized models. Rather, it’s getting off your sofa to engage with the real world and have prototype conversations or prototype experiences. “Prototypes are little time machines,” Dave says. “They allow us to sneak up on the future.” When Claudia was chatting with the docent she met at the state park, she was prototyping. The bar is set low for prototypes. “You don’t have to know what you want to do with the rest of your life,” Dave says.“You don’t have to know who you are, what your purpose in life is or what your passion is. All you need is one question about which you’re a little bit curious and then you go out into the world and have some small interactions to explore where that question might take you.” Let’s imagine the question you’re pondering is pretty significant: how to make a midlife transition into a new career after 20 years in finance. You create a mind map and pick out some key words from the edges of the map. Say, “petits fours,” “Paris” and “apron.” Those words suggest some curiosity about studying pastry making at a culinary school in Paris. OK, you’re not ready to leave your family and spend a year at Le Cordon Bleu. But you could have a conversation with the woman who sells those beautiful French macarons at the farmers market. Maybe she teaches macaron-making every other Saturday. Or, perhaps, you could spend a day shadowing the owner of Le Croissant, the bakery where you’ve been stopping every morning for years on the way to your finance job. If you enjoy the experience at Le Croissant, you might sign up for a class in startups at the new culinary incubator in the next town. Or, your curiosity might be piqued by the conversation you have with the event planner who stops to pick up a cake for a gala. Her nonprofit builds shelters for women fleeing domestic abuse. Maybe you could join the planning committee for the new shelter; with your finance background, you could certainly help with fundraising. Or, perhaps you could help teach a baking class to the shelter residents. The world suddenly seems a much larger, more diverse and welcoming place. Designers imagine things that don’t yet exist, Dave and Bill say. Then they build them and the world changes. With life design, you can do this in your own life. “You can imagine a career and a life that doesn’t exist; you can build that future, and as a result your life will change,” they write. “If your life is pretty perfect as is, life design will still help you make it an even better version of the life you currently love living.” Shelley Levitt is a freelance journalist living in Southern California, and an editor at large for Live Happy.

Self-Care

Use the Magic of Momentum to Achieve Success

Inside most of us lies an ambitious goal we’re eager to accomplish. Maybe it’s writing a book or landing a big-time promotion, or perhaps it’s running a marathon. Whatever our aspirations may be, momentum can serve as an underlying force helping to inch us closer to our desired results. Take Jennifer and John-Mark Valo from Sylvania, Ohio: On Oct. 1, 2015, the couple set a goal to pay off $50,792 in debt by Dec. 31, 2016. The couple’s combined annual salary: $75,000. “It was intimidating when we realized what we were about to tackle,” Jennifer says. “At the same time, we were so hopeful and excited to accomplish such a big goal together. We knew we had to take it one day at a time.” As a bakery owner, Jennifer says she racked up the majority of their debt when she opened the business in early 2014. “Before having the bakery, my only real debt was a very small credit card and a car loan.” On the heels of their August 2015 wedding, the pair grew serious about eliminating their debt after attending Financial Peace University, a nine-week video course created by personal finance coach and author Dave Ramsey that teaches participants how to gain control of their money. Lesson No. 1 for the newlyweds: Pay off their smallest balance first, or as Dave teaches, the debt snowball approach. This method requires people to pay off their balances from smallest to largest, regardless of interest rates. The reason? Quick wins build momentum, that unstoppable sensation we’ve likely all experienced as one success seems to trigger another. What we may not realize is that momentum doesn’t have on and off switches, according to Daniel Tomasulo, Ph.D., core faculty of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Teachers College, Columbia University, and assistant instructor for the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania. “It’s not a start-and-stop kind of process,” he says. “It’s like a heartbeat. There will be times when you pulse toward your goal and times when you pull back a little bit. With momentum, you want to anticipate that there’s going to be this fluctuation.” Instead, Daniel thinks about momentum in terms of what provides sustainability and energy to move us forward in a positive way toward our goal. “It’s about the process of engagement along the way,” he says. Exhibit A: Jennifer and John-Mark paying off a $98 PayPal balance that Jennifer had avoided paying off due to its zero interest. After learning about the debt snowball approach, the duo paid the balance before even leaving the building where the class was held. “I got on my phone and paid it off right there,” Jennifer says. “As silly as it was because it was such a small amount, it was so satisfying to cross that off our list.” But that seemingly small action plays a bigger role than Jennifer implies. “Once people get those quick wins and begin to believe they can be debt-free, they become unstoppable,” Dave says. Margaret H. Greenberg, certified executive coach and co-author of Profit From the Positive, chimes in: “Time is finite,” she says. “But energy and momentum can expand and contract.” The process of momentum, Margaret says, is more about what you do to keep your energy up. And that process begins with your belief system. “There needs to be a spark, something that ignites us,” Daniel says. “It’s not like we’re trying something and hoping it works out and seeing what happens. We’re making that small change because it’s going to help transform us.” For Jennifer and John-Mark, the spark came as they imagined their lives after becoming debt-free. “If you’re just looking at what you’re doing, it can get kind of tiring,” Jennifer says. “If you’re looking forward to the reward—like being out of debt and able to give and save and spend money like you want—that’s very motivating.” And so they took drastic measures: Cable, eating out and trips to the driving range were just a few things cut from the budget. “We didn’t do a whole lot other than just pay rent and our expenses,” John-Mark says. “We tried to maximize what we could set aside for debt.” On Dec. 31, 2016, Jennifer and John-Mark made their final payment—and Jennifer got the first haircut she’d had in 15 months that same day. “It was a great feeling to know we were entering a new year without the burden of debt,” she says. Once you believe that what you’re setting out to do will be worth the effort, dedication and sacrifice that you’re about to put in, you’ve already taken the first step in creating momentum. Plan, Do, Repeat In the late ’90s, New York University psychology professor Peter Gollwitzer conducted a study that’s been replicated and referenced dozens of times over: Prior to the holiday break, he instructed his students to write a report on how they spent Christmas Eve—the due date: Dec. 26. He told half of the students to plan beforehand when and where they would complete the assignment, while the other half received no such instruction. Of the students who didn’t plan for the assignment, only 33 percent completed it, compared with 75 percent who completed it after prior planning. “We’ve come to believe that if we just do it, that’s our path to greater productivity,” Margaret says. “Research shows that often we should replace ‘just do it’ with ‘just plan it.’ Creating a brief plan before diving into your work can actually help you create momentum.” Take an aspiring author who decides to work on her novel every Thursday from 8 a.m. to noon in her home office. By planning in advance when and where her work will get done, Margaret says she’s creating triggers for herself. “You’re more likely to get going and keep going.” Not to mention the major benefit that often results from planning: the creation of habits, a key factor in maintaining momentum. “Habits are basically the way for the brain to function very efficiently using less energy,” says Delia McCabe, a former psychologist turned nutritional neuroscience researcher and author of Feed Your Brain. And since the process of momentum revolves around how to keep your energy up, it’s easy to see why habits play such a critical role. In his 2014 book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg acknowledges that creating new habits, like exercising and eating healthier, can be difficult. He writes: “Once we develop a routine of sitting on the couch, rather than running, or snacking whenever we pass by a doughnut box, those patterns always remain inside our heads.” That doesn’t mean we’re helpless. “By the same rule, though, if we learn to create new neurological routines that overpower those behaviors—if we take control of the habit loop—we can force those bad tendencies to the background.” Once someone creates a new pattern, he writes, going for a jog or ignoring the doughnuts becomes as automatic as any other habit. For example, each time Jennifer and John-Mark discovered extra money in their budget, they automatically applied it toward their debt. By developing that habit, it became so routine that the pair didn’t even think about it, which allowed their debt-payoff snowball to keep rolling. “Your habits are rooted in choice, and you making the decision to do or not do certain things will be what propels you up the success curve or down the failure curve,” says Jeff Olson, author of The Slight Edge and founder of Live Happy. “Time is the force that magnifies all those seemingly insignificant things you do every day to highlight something titanic and unstoppable.” A Hairy Situation In 2003, a group of 30 Aussies embarked on a mission to bring back a long-lost fashion trend. In the process, they created what would become a worldwide phenomenon over the month of November. The annual Movember campaign challenges men around the world to grow a mustache to raise awareness for some of the biggest men’s health issues, including prostate and testicular cancers, mental health and suicide prevention. Men grow a healthy crop of hair for 30 days, seeking donations along the way, and the money goes toward organizations aimed at improving the lives of men who are facing these health issues. Starting out as simply a friendly bet to see if they could resurrect the forgotten ’stache, Movember took on a new form once the four co-founders witnessed the enthusiasm behind the effort. “We were at a stage in our lives when we just wanted to produce something good for the community,” says co-founder Adam Garone. In 2004, they formalized the concept and decided to get all participants growing for the organization’s original cause—prostate cancer. That year, 450 Movember participants raised $54,000, and it was donated to the Prostate Cancer Foundation. “We had no idea whether $54,000 was a big or small number,” Adam says. “We assumed it’d be a small number to the Prostate Cancer Foundation, but it was the biggest donation they’d ever received at the time.” That set things into motion for the big-hearted crew, just as paying off $98 in debt did for Jennifer and John-Mark. Scientific research reveals that achieving success, no matter how small, plays a key role in continued success and maintaining momentum. In a 2016 study published in Frontiers in Psychology, researchers explain that the perception that success is possible is the critical determinant and consequence of psychological momentum. As the authors point out, once people sense they can be successful, they expand their mental and physical effort, which leads to a positive-upward-feedback spiral of more psychological momentum and more success. “Positive emotions fuel our advancement and energize us and basically fund our momentum,” Daniel says. These days, Movember has official campaigns in 21 countries and has raised a total of $770 million to fund more than 1,200 men’s health programs—with no plans to slow down. Ready, Set, Go As you pursue your goals, there will be times when some extra inspiration is required to spur you into action. Maybe it’s at the beginning of your pursuit, or perhaps it comes as you face your first setback. Luckily, Margaret has a plan for that, and it comes in the form of three questions she refers to as “The Five, One and Smallest.” First, ask yourself what you would do if you only had five minutes. Sure, your undertaking undoubtedly needs more attention than five minutes, but Margaret says asking that simple question can trigger ideas on what your next step should be. The next question: What could you do to move your project along by just 1 percent? “We’re not talking about finishing it,” Margaret says. “We’re talking just 1 percent—what would you do?” Then, Margaret suggests asking yourself what the smallest step is you could take right now that would have the biggest, most positive impact. For example, an author might send an interview request to a sought-after expert in the hopes of gaining a valuable resource for his book. Whatever answers you discover after asking these questions will help spark your energy, ignite your momentum and remind you that you have the tools to achieve any goal. “You don’t need an Ivy League education and special skills to set about accomplishing any goal you set for yourself,” Jeff says. “You must, however, practice your craft hour after hour, day after day, and year after year—but you already know how to do everything it takes to make you an outrageous success.” Amanda Riderwrites regularly for Live Happy magazine.

Self-Care

Dean Karnazes Goes the Extra Mile

Imagine crossing the finish line as you complete your first marathon. You are maxed out mentally and physically; your legs are like overstretched rubber bands and your lungs are on fire. You feel like crying, but you are not sure if it is from extreme joy or pain; it’s probably both. Then imagine doing it again five times over. For ultramarathoner and author Dean Karnazes, a 150-mile race is just another day at the office, and he can finish a marathon before your first coffee break. “There is a saying I have, ‘there is magic in misery,’ ” Dean says. “If you have ever run a marathon, believe it or not, as bad as it was and how bad it hurt, there is magic in it. You feel more alive than at any other point in your life.” That feeling is what keeps him on the perpetual road to finding achievement and meaning. Dean may be an extreme case, but he is a great example of what endurance, drive and grit can accomplish. “It gets to the point where your head is somewhere else,” he says. “You are so focused on the task at hand, and it sounds bizarre to think that for 30-plus hours, but you are really thinking about one single thing. And that is accomplishing your goal. It is that intense.” Dean describes this feeling as “Zen-like” and a unique chance to live in the moment and think about nothing else other than crossing the finish line. This kind of mental focus is often described as “flow,” a state where the mind and body are so in sync that the outer world and even self-consciousness seem to melt away. Researchers claim that this level of engagement is an essential spoke in the happiness wheel. Taking it to the limit Most likely, no one reading this will ever have to endure what Dean goes through to find satisfaction and contentment. But many do find pleasure in running great distances such as marathons, half-marathons, 5K races or any seemingly insurmountable task that we set out to conquer. Dean writes that such feats of strength and personal courage can have profound effects on our well-being, and once we cross the finish line, we are “liberated from the prison of self-doubt and limitations.” Even if we have to nurse our injuries for a week afterward, he says, we have never been freer. The long journey within Dean competes in some of the most mentally and physically taxing races on the planet, including the Badwater Ultramarathon across the sweltering Death Valley desert, a frigid marathon to the South Pole and the punishing Spartathlon in Greece, which he chronicles in his latest book, The Road to Sparta. Set in the rocky terrain of Greece, this annual footrace of 153 miles is the birthplace of the marathon as we know it today and attracts competitors from all around the world. The route retraces the steps of the fabled foot courier Pheidippides who carried important messages back and forth from Athens to Sparta. His job, without the help of energy gels or high-performance running shoes, was to recruit the Spartans to help fight against the massive and breaching Persian army at the battle of Marathon, a role so important that he may have saved the Greeks from tyranny for centuries to come. No pressure. For Dean, whose family descends from Greece, this race was the chance to participate in something bigger than himself; it was a chance to channel history and experience what his ancestors did nearly 2,500 years ago. A personal best Of all his herculean feats in life, the Spartathlon race was a much more personal experience. “It was about finding out who I was as a person and understanding where I came from. It’s more self-discovery and a richer understanding of my heritage and my past,” Dean says. “I think that it’s something that everyone at some level seeks to know. ‘Where did I come from? Who were my people?’ ” His mother’s side of the family is from the carefree island of Ikaria, where life moves slowly and stress is low. His father’s side is a resilient group from the hills of Sparta. The former is where Dean may get his optimistic outlook on life, but the latter is composed of a long line of endurance runners. As a boy, he remembers old folktales of men from Crete running from village to village. He would witness the older people dancing at the local Greek festivals for eight to 10 hours straight and admiring their endurance. This experience went far beyond what any lineage website could bring. “It was really an immersive journey into my past.” Overcoming great odds “Running is such a simple act, but it is profound in its simplicity as well as its complexity,” Dean says. “Let’s face it, running can be mind-numbingly boring.…It can be extremely painful and every runner has a relationship with pain. Everyone else inherently tries to avoid pain and yet we runners embrace it and welcome it.” Through hot and humid wind coming off the Mediterranean Sea, Dean was met with obstacles day and night as he negotiated ankle-breaking terrain across his homeland with a queasy stomach and blistered feet. Admittedly, it wasn’t Dean’s best performance in a race, but he was given a hero’s welcome full of selfies at every checkpoint. “I would say [the Spartathlon] probably is the most grueling ultramarathon on earth…it gets to 100 degrees, but then there’s the terrain. There are points where you are on all fours scaling up the side of a mountain coming into Sparta.” But we as humans have the capability to complete extreme tasks, to hit an extra gear. For ages we have been running long distances. As Dean explains in his book with the help of Professor Paul Cartledge, A.G. Leventis Chair of Greek Culture at Cambridge University, legend holds that Pheidippides may have run back and forth for more than 300 miles, delivering messages amid the famous battle between the Greeks and Persians. He finally reached the end of his journey delivering his final message to Athens, “Nike! (Victory!),” before collapsing to his death. For Dean, “It was a holistic journey, if you will. To think about…the same course I am running on right now, a guy was here 2,500 years ago trying to save democracy. Trying to save all of the things we know today and here was a guy by himself, barefoot with the weight of the world on his shoulders.” Running to save the world Dean is a big believer in uniting people, especially through running. He recently ran a 525 kilometer race on the Silk Road—the ancient trade route spanning from the Mediterranean to China—as a sports ambassador on behalf of the United States. His mission was to connect with people along the way in countries such as Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan who don’t often get the chance to see Westerners. On many of his stops, he was greeted with friendly faces and local runners to keep him company on his 50-mile-a-day journey through the high altitudes of Central Asia. “There are so many things in this world that divide us, that separate us: the color of your skin, your race, your religion, your socioeconomic level,” Dean explains. “Running is the great democratizer. There is commonality, no matter where you live or what you look like, you put one foot in front of the other just like every other human and that unites people instead of dividing people. I think that is a beautiful thing.” Listen to the interview with Dean Karnazes on our podcast, Live Happy Now. Chris Libby is the Section Editor at Live Happy magazine.

Self-Care

Move With Purpose to Live Better and Longer

People go to all kinds of extremes and expense to hold on to their youth. Yet there’s a simple, healthy habit that will not only keep your body looking fit but also trigger an internal makeover that could add years to your life. I’m talking about exercise. With a sustainable exercise strategy that focuses on consistency, protecting your body and achieving balance, you can be strong and healthy at any age. You don’t need a fancy gym membership. You don’t have to spend hours a day working out. You simply need to commit to a realistic approach that will keep you looking and feeling your best. Get moving—and stay in motion. One of the best ways to achieve a stronger, healthier body is through purposeful movement. It’s an important tool in your fight against disease, mood disorders and early death. No matter your age, you should do your best to move with purpose every day. You need to make it a habit and then stick to it. As you get older, you tend to become more sedentary. You need to fight this every step of the way. It’s not only seniors who fall into this pattern. Those in middle age find themselves in the same trap. The problem is, the less you move, the less you’re motivated to move. You become lethargic and lose energy. The less you move each day, the more your risk increases for falls, sprains and other injuries. Find ways to stay in motion during the day. Get up from your desk and take a walk outside. Do some gardening. Start your morning with some gentle stretching. Ditch the couch and go run some errands instead. Bike rides, yoga, hiking, dancing...whatever you enjoy. Just get moving. Give your body what it needs In your 20s, you were probably aiming for big biceps and flat abs. Don’t worry, you can still have both later in life! As you age, your physical needs change. You begin to lose muscle mass, flexibility and balance. Therefore, it’s important to expand your focus and incorporate strength training and other exercises that will combat these losses and help prevent injury. The good news is there are plenty of options that will keep you fit and add variety to your routine so you don’t get bored and give it up. These are some of my personal favorites: Strength Retaining muscle mass will keep you stronger, stimulate bone growth, lower blood sugar, reduce lower back pain and combat stress. And yes, keep you toned and fit. Weight training and dumbbell presses are effective, and using light weights will get the job done. If you don’t have access to equipment, try planks, knee extensions, squats or sit-backs. Many exercises can be modified and even performed sitting in a chair or leaning against a wall. Do what’s best for your body. Flexibility When your muscles and tendons are more flexible, you enjoy increased range of motion and much less risk of injury. I highly recommend that you grab a yoga mat. Even a few minutes of yoga a day will do the trick. Yoga significantly improves your physical health and transforms your body into one that is firmer, leaner, stronger and more flexible. You might also try Pilates (a system of low-impact exercises to develop strength, flexibility and balance), static stretching (where you hold a stretch for a designated amount of time) or myofascial release, a type of massage provided by a health professional to improve range of motion and increase flexibility after an injury. Balance Maintaining your balance becomes increasingly important as you age. Your bones become more brittle over time, so taking a fall later in life can cause significant damage. Aim to strengthen your core to feel more physically centered. Yoga and tai chi do wonders for improving your balance, but they aren’t your only options. Simple exercises like balancing while standing on one foot or walking heel to toe (with your eyes opened or closed) can help you become steadier on your feet. Everything in moderation The best way to keep any good habit going long term is to keep things easy and sustainable. Staying strong and healthy doesn’t have to feel like a full-time job. The key is to implement small, manageable changes. Devoting even five minutes a day to movement and exercise is all it takes to get started. You’ll see results, and that’s when your motivation kicks in and you make that leap to do more on a regular basis. When you take this approach to exercise, you can transform your body into one that is fit and strong. You’ll not only look younger, but you’ll feel younger and significantly increase your chances of living a longer and healthier life. 4 Exercises to Try Planks can help tone your belly, reduce back pain, and improve your mood, balance, flexibility and posture. Lie facedown with legs extended and elbows bent and directly under shoulders; clasp your hands. Feet should be hip-width apart, and elbows should be shoulder-width apart. Contract your abs, then tuck your toes to lift your body. You should be in a straight line from head to heels. Hold for as long as you can. Knee extensions strengthen muscles in the front of your thigh and shin and can restore mobility and strength to a painful knee. Sit in a chair with the balls of your feet and toes resting on the floor. Extend your right leg in front of you until your knee is straight. With right leg in this position, flex your foot so that your toes point toward your head. Hold in this position for three seconds. Take three to five seconds to lower leg back to starting position. Alternate legs. Squats strengthen your quads, glutes and hamstrings, and many trainers believe help to reduce knee injuries. Stand as tall as you can with your feet shoulder-width apart. Lower your body as far as you can by pushing your hips back and bending your knees. Pause. Now slowly push yourself back to the starting position. Sit-backs stabilize your lower back and help with your postural stability. They can increase flexibility and range of motion. Sit on the floor with your knees bent and your arms folded across your chest. Slowly sit back as far as comfortable while maintaining a flat back, then return to the starting position. Make sure your feet stay in contact with the floor. Read more: The Healing Power of Yoga Listen to our podcast: Health and Happiness With Dr. Partha Nandi DR. PARTHA NANDIis the creator and host of the internationally syndicated, award-winning medical lifestyle television showAsk. Dr. Nandiand author of the bookAsk Dr. Nandi: 5 Steps to Becoming Your Own #HealthHero for Longevity, Well-Being, and a Joyful Life.

Live Happy's Word of the Year to Create Real Change

Self-Care

Choose a Word of the Year to Create Real Change

The smooth white stones scattered artfully around Priscilla Gorman Oehlschelaeger’s office make a statement. Adorned with a single word, such as “Family,” “Prosperity,” “Kindness” and “Happy,” each stone represents a commitment to change and positive growth. “It’s something we’ve been doing at my church for more than 10 years,” says Priscilla, a creative coach and artist from Cincinnati. As each year draws to a close, Priscilla’s pastor leads the congregation in a guided meditation to help them think about what they want from the coming year. Then, each person chooses one word to represent that desire and writes it on their stone. “It’s really valuable,” Priscilla says. “People don’t realize that one word can make such a difference, but focusing on that word throughout the year really guides how I carry myself in the way of who I am and how I want to be.” The anti-resolution Choosing a single word to focus on can offer a meaningful alternative to New Year’s resolutions; instead of looking at behavior you want to change, it reminds you of what behavior you want to see in yourself or focus on developing. The practice can be rooted in both spirituality and science, and its effects are cumulative. “Having something simple, a single word, can make a big difference,” explains Jan Stanley, who has a master's degree in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and works with individuals and organizations to help them create lasting change. “It’s not something you’re going to notice on a day-to-day basis, but when you look back at the end of the year, you’ll be surprised to find how much it has changed you.” Jan points out that thanks to neuroplasticity, or our brain’s ability to reorganize itself by creating new neural connections, we can change the way we react to situations or change the way we look at the world. Having a single word to guide our thoughts for the year can be a powerful force for personal change. “As we focus on that intention, and look for ways for that intention to materialize in our day-to-day lives, it takes us back to the old adage that ‘what fires together wires together.’ “Say you want to be more grateful; you set an intention and write it down; then, when you notice things that make you grateful, you get that dopamine burst and your brain’s reward system kicks in,” Jan says. Those feelings of rewards in your brain add to the joy of practicing gratitude, and make you more likely to continue looking for reasons to be grateful. Over time, it becomes a natural action (and reaction) for your brain. Finding the right word Choosing the word to guide you through the year is a personal decision that calls for careful consideration. A guided meditation, such as the one organized by Priscilla’s pastor, is one way to do that, and meditations designed for this purpose can be found online. Jan also suggests using the ‘best possible future self’ exercise developed by University of Missouri–Columbia professor Laura King, Ph.D., which is designed to help you see yourself as you would like to be in five years. This can be done by writing down what you envision, or by closing your eyes and visualizing what it is you want to achieve and who you want to be. “Think about what attributes it will take to become that person, and then think about what quality it is you’d most like to see flourish,” Jan says. “This isn’t about goal setting; goal setting focuses on what you want to do and what you’d like to accomplish.” “This is about who you want to be.” Make it a tradition Turning this into an annual ritual has proven powerful for many people, including Priscilla. She says looking at her collection of stones reminds her of different stages in her life and of her own growth. “I can look at them and remember why I chose that word and I can see what each word did for me through the years,” she says. “It has meant so much in my life; it’s really a lovely, life-changing tradition.” Read more: 5 Experts Weigh in on How to Transform Your Life in 2017 Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Self-Care

5 Ways to Recharge Your Energy Anytime

I want 2017 to be the best year ever for myself and all of you. One way we can make this happen is to cultivate awesome body and mental energy to help us accomplish the things we want to do. So, let’s make it happen and create a new energy you! Good energy Good energy is having the right energy—physically and mentally—to fuel your actions throughout the day. What’s more, your specific energy requirements are as unique as your fingerprints. The energy you require to wake up peacefully, alert and ready to greet the day is different from the energy you require to deal with a difficult phone call or email or the energy you need to get a good night’s sleep. A hallmark of body-energy management is that you happily flow from one activity to the next. Instead of feeling frazzled by what you do, you acquire more energy and more satisfaction. When these elements are in sync, each action, each day fuels the next. Getting started I suggest making a simple chart to help you see what kind of energy you operate on at various daily checkpoints and consider what affect this pattern has on you. Below is the chart of Alex’s daily energy needs. He is 36 years old and works as a real estate agent. His chart serves as an example of how you can map your own energy requirements, see how they affect you and discover how to better match your own energy with your daily goals. This chart shows what type of energy Alex feels he needs throughout the day. It shows he feels his energy is too low for most of the day—as he looks for higher energy to sustain him—with his evening drive home being the exception, during which time he feels his energy is too high. Modeling Alex’s chart, put an X next to the type of energy you feel you need at each checkpoint. If you think your energy is already perfectly matched to the situation, then mark “Perfect as is.” Why do people feel drained? The most common reason healthy people feel drained and stressed and/or unable to get good sleep at night is energy mismanagement. They are not supporting specific times of day and specific actions with the right match of energy. After making your own energy chart, look deeper into it. For example, Alex realizes he drags and requires 20 extra minutes to get out of bed. He immediately switches on the morning news to help wake up. This spikes his brain wave frequencies, so he thinks it helps. But he perceives the news as negative, so rather than generating a joyful mind, it begins to stress him out. This stressful energy has extended effects that cause him to feel disorganized and sluggish throughout the day. If the pattern continues, he won’t need the trigger (negative news) and will wake up automatically irritated. The morning news, for Alex, is an “energy trap.” He discovers even more energy traps throughout his day: caffeine (more than two cups); lack of balanced meals (too much protein in the morning and low-quality nutrition in the afternoon); listening to fast, aggressive lyrics in the car ride to work; and his use of negative language in conversation with colleagues. Identifying your own energy traps and mismatches and replacing them with the right energy will plug your energy drains and increase your energy gains. You’ll get more done with less effort and greater satisfaction when you can train your body and mind to operate with “higher-quality currency.” Here are five energy bites to get you started: 1. Heighten your energy with this one-two punch Find an environmental photo that has a relaxing effect on you and a piece of fast-paced music that makes your energy soar. Place these on your cellphone. Relax and deepen your breathing, empty your mind of thoughts and mindfully observe the photo for five to seven minutes. Afterward, play your fast tune. This combo quadruples your energy. Alternately, use your relaxing photo in combination with slower music and soothing lyrics to lower energy when needed. Listen for 12 minutes. 2. Eliminate burnout Don’t surrender. Instead switch activities to something more rewarding and pile it on, pushing the pedal to the metal until you recharge. You’ll reset the electrical activity in your mind and body and enjoy a cascade of self-produced anti-stress and happy hormones. Always have an awesome long-term sideline project you can shift to for a while. 3. Massage this acupoint to bust stress In a seated position and well postured, as if there is a string atop your head pulling upward, use your thumb to gently rub the bottom (center) of each foot. Works fast. 4. Change mental frequencies to eliminate bad moods Put a photo of a loved one, friend or pet doing something positive and silly—the sillier the better—on your phone. Making those childish funny faces or facial expressions works great. Use as needed. 5. Plan a recharging activity Think over tomorrow’s agenda. Identify a predictable situation when you’ll drain a lot of energy. Plan a restorative activity before or after. Get to a different environment and do something creative: Listen to an audiobook, sketch a natural scene, try some creative writing. Go slow—fuel your spirit—restore and enjoy. JOSEPH CARDILLO, PH.D., is an inspirational speaker and sought-after expert on energy teaching. He is the best-selling author of Body Intelligence: Harness Your Body’s Energies for Your Best Life. He has taught his methods to more than 20,000 students at various institutions. Visit josephcardillo.com or follow him on Facebook, Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D., and Twitter @DrMindFitness.

Self-Care

Your Mind on the Move

Holly Becka Pry remembers exactly when—and why—she realized she had to start exercising. “Our son was about 5 or 6 years old, and we had taken a family vacation to Disneyland,” says Holly, of McKinney, Texas. “I knew I had gained weight over the last few years, but it wasn’t until I saw those vacation pictures that I realized just how much I had put on.” As a wife and working mother, Holly was accustomed to juggling many roles, but suddenly realized she had focused on work and family to her own detriment. It was completely inconsistent with who she had always planned to be. “I wanted to set a good example for my son. I wanted to have a good, healthy body image and be at a healthy weight. And I wanted to live a long and healthy life.” Holly immediately started hitting the gym, knowing that the muscle memory from her days as a high school athlete—she played tennis and was involved in cheerleading and dance—would help her lose weight fairly quickly. While she knew what exercise could do for her body, she didn’t anticipate what it would do for her mind. After working with a trainer for a couple of years—and losing 30 pounds along the way—she discovered Zumba and opened the door to a passion for fitness she’d never known before. “It’s like it was made for me,” says Holly, who started practicing Zumba about five years ago and now is a certified instructor. She’s also received her certification as a Beachbody coach and is a certified Aerobic Fitness Association instructor. “I loved everything about it—the music, the movement, the people—it all made me feel so happy. I got hooked.” Now, when she has a stressful day at her job as a marketing communications manager for an engineering firm, or when she’s feeling a bit under the weather, Holly finds teaching or attending a fitness class can change her mood instantly. She loves the endorphin rush and the connection she feels with others in the class. Whether it’s kickboxing, Zumba or a good core strengthening class, she says it’s an automatic reset button for her. “It’s the best stress reliever I’ve found. I can’t wait to get to the gym, and I feel like I cope better with everyday stressors. It makes me feel so happy.” Movement and Your Mind What Holly feels when she’s exercising is a well-documented phenomenon. Although there’s plenty of evidence that exercise gives us an emotional boost, the “why” of that response has taken longer to discover. Neuroscientists studying the role exercise plays in our mental and emotional health have found that it boosts our psychological well-being as well as our physical strength. “Our mind thrives on patterns, or algorithms,” explains Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D., a best-selling author and research associate at Mind-Body Institute International. “Exercise uses all the core processing components of our brain, and when you create a pattern through exercise, our minds and bodies love that.” As a result, as we use our brains differently through exercise—whether it’s creating a rhythm in your jogging pace, learning a series of dance moves or focusing on using breath to calm and sustain ourselves—those new patterns become ingrained. “Your brain makes the connection between what you did and how you feel, and that’s the first step in creating a pattern and being able to use [that feeling] in other [situations],” Joseph says. Just as your body reacts physically with anxiety or depression to a negative or alarming memory, it can have an equally positive reaction of energy or calmness when recalling that moment of exercise. “When you become aware of that, and learn to use it, you can visualize yourself walking, running, playing tennis—whatever it is that you do—and your brain will have a similar reaction.” Different Movements, Different Results Just as we can select certain exercises to achieve physical results, such as bulking up by lifting weights or getting lean through high-intensity training, science now says we can select certain exercises to achieve different psychological reactions. Wendy Suzuki, Ph.D., author of Healthy Brain, Happy Life: A Personal Program to Activate Your Brain and Do Everything Better, and professor of neural science and psychology in the Center for Neural Science at New York University, is researching how individuals respond to different forms of exercise. Her goal is to find a method for developing precise “energy prescriptions” that allow us to maximize brain function. Wendy considers how age, genetics and lifestyle influence what kind of exercise is most appealing and effective for people to improve cognitive function, including those affected by normal aging or Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s diseases. However, she says we don’t need a laboratory to start researching how exercise affects us. “You can experiment on yourself to see how powerful one type of exercise can be,” she suggests. She recommends trying one form of high-energy exercise like kickboxing or aerobics for two weeks, then switching to a lower intensity exercise, such as yoga, for the next two weeks. “See how you feel after each one. Start taking note of your mood, your cognitive function and then start tailoring your workouts to what is best for you at that time in your life,” Wendy says. “People have genetic predispositions that we believe make them want to do [a certain type of exercise], so a lot of this is about choosing the things that bring you joy.” Change It Up What works for you one month may be too much (or not enough) for you the following month. Allowing yourself to pursue different types of exercise, just as you might choose to read different books to suit your mood, means you can learn more about what suits you best as situations change. Highly stressful times might call for anxiety-defeating yoga classes, or you might find you prefer a challenging kickboxing class. Then, as you learn more about what areas of the brain benefit from certain activities, you can begin to explore exercise as a cognitive tool that just happens to offer a lot of physical benefits as well. For example, while you may be hitting the weight room to build mass, you’re also doing wonders for your prefrontal cortex, which is where most of your planning and problem-solving takes place. Multiple studies have linked weightlifting to better executive function. In other words, it helps with multitasking, reasoning, planning and overall decision making. Practices such as yoga and tai chi will not only improve your balance and breathing, but have a direct effect on your frontal lobe, which can help quell fear and anxiety. High-intensity or burst training, which involves short but high-energy workouts, can help curb cravings and give us better control over our food choices. Better food choices can have a direct effect on mood and how well your brain functions. New research from the School of Medicine, University of Brasilia, Brazil, found that adults who participated in high-intensity exercises showed improved cognitive function. Less intense workouts have brain benefits, too. Research from the University of British Columbia links regular aerobic exercise to a larger hippocampus, which is where memory and learning take place. Wendy’s own research has shown the superior benefits of aerobic exercise on cognitive function. “It is so important as an overall health strategy,” she says. And while it may have been a few years since your days as a high school athlete, performing sports drills—whether that means basketball, volleyball or tossing a football or baseball—has also been shown to improve attention spans and concentration in adults. Pound It Out Those drills also can help improve things like distance and space perception and boost your ability to switch more quickly from one task to another. It’s exactly that kind of mental edge that Kirsten Potenza was interested in achieving when she created Pound, a workout that uses lightly weighted (and bright green) drumsticks to perform a choreographed, high-intensity workout. In Pound, class participants follow an instructor through a series of moves set to contemporary music designed to ignite both your body and your brain. Kirsten points out that connecting with rhythm stimulates the mind and improves focus, which is linked to better decision-making skills. As a drummer herself, Kirsten was familiar with the research showing such brain benefits of drumming, but also realized they could take that further in a fitness environment. “When you’re doing a workout, you don’t realize what is happening in your brain,” she says. “It activates both sides of your brain, and it can have amazing results. You’re helping your coordination, your creativity and your mood. It can do incredible things for stress, anxiety and your overall physical health.” A Healthy Addiction For some people, exercise becomes such an important part of life that they begin planning their days around it. It’s a phenomenon that Wendy refers to as “a healthy addiction.” “We don’t think we know the full details about what gets you to that spot, but we do know that part of it is because exercise increases dopamine in the brain,” she says. “Dopamine brings you pleasure, so your brain begins to associate the feelings of pleasure with exercise, and if you can start to appreciate that, it helps you get motivated.” Someone with a healthy addiction to exercise will look forward to workouts; it may even be the highlight of the day. They may feel irritable or become a downright grump if they miss more than a day or two of exercise. It’s different from compulsive exercise, which can become a destructive behavior that is detrimental not only physically, but can wreak havoc on one’s personal and professional life. A Natural High Holly says she regularly experiences many of those “high” feelings from exercise, and it makes her eager to return to her next class. More recently, she’s discovered that her positive feelings about exercise begin even before she hits the door—something known in positive psychology as “anticipatory savoring.” Rather than looking forward to something like unwinding with a glass of wine or firing up a cigarette after a stressful day, Holly’s brain finds pleasure in thinking about working out. “If I’ve had a bad day at work, I start looking forward to going to class,” she says. “I know it’s going to make me feel better, I’m going to be in a room full of people who are smiling and having fun, and I know how I’m going to feel when I’m done.” To further her motivation, Holly often plays music from her fitness classes while she’s driving. “As soon as I turn on that music, I feel better. I’m ready to go do a class,” she says. According to Joseph, that’s because her brain is having a sort of Pavlovian response to the music. Without even realizing it, she has learned to associate certain songs with the dopamine high that accompanies exercise. “It goes back to the pattern in your brain,” he explains. “Everything you can do to ingrain that memory, that feeling, deeper in your brain gives you more ways to access them later. The more parts of the brain you use, the stronger the potion.” Getting There Is Half the Battle As with any change, the hardest part about starting or renewing an exercise habit is that first part: getting up off the couch, or pushing away from the computer, and just doing it. “We live in a sedentary society, and it’s hard to get started without motivation,” Wendy says. “There’s a big motivational and comfort threshold you have to get past to go from being sedentary to really moving and sweating and getting over the hump.” Those barriers aren’t just physical, such as the comfort of your couch or the discomfort of sore muscles, but also are psychological. Wendy’s book includes several four-minute “hacks” to encourage people to get up and move more. Her recommendations range from having a four-minute pillow fight with your kids to doing jumping jacks during television commercials to simple tricks like using the bathroom on another floor at work and taking the stairs to get there. While none of those shortcuts will have the kind of dopamine-inducing joy buzz of exercise, they can serve a greater purpose, she says. “Four minutes won’t have a great health benefit but, motivationally, you need to start somewhere,” she says. “Very few of us will start by going to a spin class, but you can do four minutes. And that’s really what it’s about: finding a place to start.” LISTEN TO OUR INTERVIEW WITH WENDY SUZUKI AT LIVEHAPPYNOW.COM Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Self-Care

5 Tips to Transform Your Life in the New Year

The holidays have left as quickly as the visit from St. Nick, and you may be feeling a little out of sorts. The New Year is perfect for fresh starts, but resolutions have a reputation of not lasting past the first quarter. We have assembled a few life tips from the pros to help you make real and positive changes that last. Finance Money can be a huge source of negativity. Many of us overspend in December and feel guilt and anxiety when the bills arrive in January. Leanne Jacobs, a holistic wealth expert and author of Beautiful Money: The 4-Week Total Wealth Makeover, says debt management takes strength and should be handled with confidence and a positive attitude: “Debt has an ability to consume your entire life as well as your state of mind and emotions. Often people will forget that although they carry debt, they aren’t themselves debt. There can be a lot of shame around being in debt, leaving one feeling inadequate.…Staying positive will help with goal setting, confidence, discipline and persistence—all requirements for getting out of debt in a timely way.” Leanne's Tips for Tackling Anxiety About Debt: Create a vision board that includes many images of what your life will look and feel like when you are debt-free. Designate someone you love and trust to hold you accountable. Keep tools in your back pocket to draw on when you are having moments of panic and fear. These might include yoga, meditation, exercise, nature hikes and journaling. Fitness Getting back into shape after your calorie-packed, end-of-year gatherings can be overwhelming. But, with the right mindset, says Steve Kamb, author of Level Up Your Life and creator of Nerdfitness.com, you can “focus on building a healthy habit daily, and your weight will start to take care of itself.” In his book, Steve writes that people often decide to get back in shape for extrinsic reasons and tend to focus on immediate results. “That small number on the digital scale starts to influence your self-worth. We feel amazing if it goes down half a pound, and downright miserable if it goes up a pound,” he says. “Instead of focusing on the scale or the end goal, focus on each day’s tiny goals and make the goal performance based.” Try to find a workout that is fun for you: Zumba, running, weightlifting, yoga or training to be the next American Ninja Warrior. “The goal is getting healthy and happy permanently, no more roller coaster diet boom and bust!” Steve's List for Your "Epic Quest of Awesome": Small, consistent victories. No more diets; no running yourself ragged on a treadmill for a few weeks to get in shape for the summer. Instead, start with small changes that you can live with permanently. Consistently push yourself just slightly outside of your normal behavior toward more healthy choices. Cultivate discipline. Get junk food out of your house. Program your workouts into your calendar. Recruit a friend to keep you accountable. Food We are going to have to find a way to get along with our food choices. Lynn Rossy, Ph.D., a health psychologist and the author of The Mindfulness-Based Eating Solution: Proven Strategies to End Overeating, Satisfy Your Hunger, and Savor Your Life, says we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves for eating more and moving less. “When you have a healthy relationship with food, you realize that food is mainly to take care of physical hunger....Your other hungers for connection, creativity, movement, fun, etc., are not met with food,” she says. “When you meet your other hungers with appropriate solutions, you will create a more meaningful and happy life.” Lynn's Tips for a Healthy Relationship With Food Don’t set unrealistic rules for yourself. In fact, don’t set any rules. You’ll only be setting yourself up to fail and be discouraged. When you eat to meet your taste needs, you realize that you don’t have to overeat because you can always have tasty food whenever you want it and you can eat it sensibly. Every day, decide to see the bright side. Ponder this miracle of life and ask yourself, “How can I respect this body I’ve been given for another day?” Meaning When life’s burdens seem too heavy, it helps to look at things through the right prism. Finding what’s most important to us and attaching ourselves to something larger in life means we are actively seeking out happiness. Heather Lende, obituary writer and author of Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons From a Small-Town Obituary Writer, has written more than 400 obituaries in her life, a good number of them for people she knew personally. Through her work, she’s learned that the people who are bold enough to fully live their lives are the happiest. “It’s the people who make and keep good relationships that are what I would call the most successful on the happiness scale. They are also the most generous and often praised for kindness and their ability to forgive. Those are the people I admire the most.” Heather's Hints for Finding More Meaning: Smile more and share kind words. Quit checking your phone. Leave it on the table and go for a walk. Connect with others. Get out of your comfort zone and volunteer at a community center or hospital, an animal shelter or local park. Work Shola Richards, a certified Emotional Intelligence practitioner, creator of the blog The Positivity Solution (thepositivitysolution.com) and author of Making Work Work: The Positivity Solution for Any Work Environment, points out that we spend more than 80,000 hours at work. “The thought of spending the majority of those hours locked in a miserable environment with people who we don’t like or respect is horrifying to me,” Shola says. “On a positive note though, enjoying our work has shown wide-ranging benefits from improved health to increased productivity. Everyone wins when we enjoy what we do for a living.” Shola's Advice for Getting the Most Out of Work: One the best ways to ease the transition from the lull of the holidays to the hustle of the New Year is having meaningful friendships in the workplace. The most common negative trap to avoid is the soul-destroying habit of chronic complaining. We should vent if we must, but we can never lose sight of the fact that positive outcomes at work will elude us if we focus energy on our problems instead of possible solutions. Reduce the amount of toxic influences in our lives. If being on social media is stressing you out or is making you feel bad about yourself, then stop. Chris Libby is the Section Editor at Live Happy magazine.

Well-Being

Make This Holiday Season Better Than Perfect

The most wonderful time of the year isn’t all that wonderful for many. Heightened stress, depression and anxiety can be as constant as the holiday songs belting out in stores. Why does sadness prevail for so many during the holidays? For about 10 million Americans, the cause is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a type of clinical depression that occurs in late fall/early winter and lasts through spring. For many more, however, the distress is subclinical, meaning it interferes with life but doesn’t prevent you from functioning. Kick the all-or-nothing mentality In my practice as a therapist (and, admittedly, in my own life), much holiday woe can be traced back to a common denominator: perfectionism. Perfectionism is not just having a tidy junk drawer. It is an all-or-nothing mentality. For a perfectionist, something is either perfect or a failure, as it should be or terrible, like everyone else or miserable. You may not think of yourself as a perfectionist, but it’s possible that perfectionism gets in the way of your holiday cheer. Pay attention to language. How often do you say (even internally) the word “should” when thinking about the holidays? For example, “I should buy everyone expensive gifts,” or “My family should offer to help out more.” The word “should” is a red flag that you are placing rigid expectations on yourself and others. This stringent, perfectionist thinking can cause a lot of distress when things don’t go as you think they “should.” Same stress, only stronger. While you may not get along that well with your family during the rest of the year, your negative exchanges during the holidays can cause the greatest disappointment. The same goes for loneliness. You might not typically go out much, but the lack of get-togethers during the holidays carries more of a sting. Or maybe your credit card debt is as big as Santa’s belly, but during the holidays you’re more upset because you can’t buy your loved ones everything they want. The holidays bring heightened—perhaps unrealistic—expectations of conviviality, and when those expectations aren’t met, our unhappiness is magnified. Sacrificing health When it comes to health and wellness, do you engage in all-or-nothing thinking, such as, “I had one cookie, so I might as well eat the rest of the plate” or “I have no time to go to the gym, so no exercise for me until January”? Another reason people tend to get the blues during the holidays has to do with health and lifestyle. ’Tis the season for late nights, libations and lots of sugary calories. Unfortunately, lack of sleep, alcohol and sugary processed foods are linked to depressed mood. Make it “Better Than Perfect” You put all your energy into making that one day amazing, spending hours planning, preparing and feeling excited. Then the day comes…and goes. A happiness hangover can take over when the event you anticipated for so long is now in the past. Again, an all-or-nothing mindset. So, what can you do to overcome this all-or-nothing approach? Be better than perfect. Better than perfect means dropping the rigid expectations and judgments. Instead, keep your attention on what is important to you. Here are four steps to do just that: 1) Focus on the positive While it may be easy to point out what is wrong (“Did cousin Krista really say that!?”), it can still make you feel lousy. Try turning it around by focusing on what you appreciate about people and experiences over the holidays. Yes, Krista really does forget to filter what she says, but she did bring her delicious fudge. Gratitude is a quick and easy way to boost your happiness. Read more: 8 Easy Practices to Enhance Gratitude 2) Create better than perfect health Get your sleep and take time to exercise and meditate. It doesn’t have to be perfect. If you can’t get to the gym for a workout, try doing 30 jumping jacks. Does the thought of sitting and meditating for 20 minutes seem impossible? Try taking five deep breaths. It is better than perfect. 3) Give meaningfully When it comes to giving gifts, there’s no need to spend a ton of money or obsess over the details. Consider something meaningful, such as making a photo album or personalized calendar rather than splurging on an expensive present. Read more: 17 Ways to Give Back According to Your Strengths 4) Out with the old and in with the new Just because you’ve always done something a certain way doesn’t mean you need to continue. Drop unwanted holiday burdens and start new traditions important to you. Maybe you’d like to start volunteering as a family. Perhaps you’ve decided to stop sending out holiday cards because they cause you too much stress. Maybe you’d like to institute a new tradition of hosting a potluck meal rather than doing it all yourself. Learn from the past: Make the changes necessary to create a truly happy holiday for you and your loved ones. Make it a better than perfect celebration. Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love. She had made many TV and speaking appearances, and is a coach and sought-after consultant. How much does perfectionism interfere with your life? Find out at BetterThanPerfectQuiz.com.

Self-Care

Can Fermented Food Elevate Your Mood?

Scientists have been making some surprising discoveries about what really constitutes a happy meal, and it’s a far cry from the burger and fries you’d pick up at your local fast-food joint. Instead, think kimchi, sauerkraut, yogurt and tempeh. These fermented foods are teeming with healthy bacteria called probiotics. You’ve probably heard that word, and also know that these microorganisms are a boon to maintaining a well-functioning digestive system. From belly to brain Now researchers are beginning to use a new term—psychobiotics—to describe the impact probiotics have not only on our digestion but also on our mood. In promising studies done on both mice and humans, boosting the levels of gut microbes has been shown to increase neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin that are linked to happiness. The exciting field began in 2011 when a team of researchers at University College Cork in Ireland, and McMaster University in Ontario, Canada, showed that anxious mice fed a probiotic-rich broth became less apprehensive and more—pardon the pun—gutsy. Dropped into a tall cylinder of water, the mice that were fed the broth spent more time swimming and less time floating in a state of what the researchers called “behavioral despair.” Two years later, a group of scientists at UCLA set out to test whether the human brain might also be influenced by gut bacteria. In a small study, a dozen women ate yogurt that contained live cultures twice a day for four weeks. A control group of women didn’t eat the probiotic-rich yogurt. Chilling out with yogurt At the end of the month, instead of being dropped into a vat of water like the mice, the women underwent fMRI brain scans while resting and while performing a task in which they matched faces to negative emotions like fear and anger. Those scans showed significant differences between the two groups of women in several regions of the brain that are involved in processing sensory input and emotions. In brief, the yogurt eaters reacted more calmly to the angry and fearful faces than did their yogurt-skipping peers. “The contrast was clear,” the lead researcher told reporters. “This was not what we expected, that eating yogurt twice a day for a few weeks would do something to your brain.” Justin Sonnenburg and Erica Sonnenburg, Ph.D.s, husband-and-wife microbiologists at Stanford University and co-authors of the bestselling book The Good Gut: Taking Control of Your Weight, Your Mood, and Your Long-Term Health, caution that this psychobiotic research is in its infancy. But, they write, “it seems not too much of a stretch to assume that improving the overall health of your [gut] microbiota could have a positive impact on your mental well-being.” Modern-day tonics and elixirs None of this comes as a surprise to Chakra Earthsong Levy. She began fermenting her own beans, seeds and cheese as a teenager back in the ’70s. “My mother had chronic health problems related to her gut,” Chakra says, “and our family life revolved around her flare-ups. I wanted to do everything I could to avoid that.” In 2010, after decades as a nutrition coach, Chakra co-founded the fermented beverage company KeVita. Now a leader in the field, KeVita offers lines of sparkling probiotic drinks, kombucha tea and probiotic apple cider tonics. Although Chakra is careful not to make any health claims for her drinks, she says “it makes sense that consuming live food like yogurt or kombucha makes people feel enlivened and uplifted. I hear that from friends and customers all the time.” For optimal microbiotic well-being, Chakra suggests getting doses of these beneficial bacteria throughout the day. Here are some ways to sneak more of these microbes into your diet. 1. Make miso a base of your salad dressing. For a two-ingredient vinaigrette, simply mix the fermented soybean paste with whatever citrus you have on hand. The Kitchn suggests a ratio of two teaspoons of white, yellow or red miso to two to three tablespoons of fresh orange, lemon or lime juice. 2. Get to know nama shoyu. Use this unpasteurized soy sauce, which is rich in beneficial bacteria, to flavor steamed or sautéed veggies, quinoa, rice or couscous. 3. Pick the right pickles. If they’re not refrigerated they’re not fermented, so skip the jar on your supermarket shelf and head for the cold storage section. “Any product that contains live probiotics will tout the benefit on the packaging,” Chakra points out. 4. Embrace yogurt. It’s the easiest way to get a hit of probiotics. Enjoy it with muesli or blended into a smoothie for breakfast, with fresh fruit for a healthy dessert or mixed with diced cucumber and chopped dill or mint as a relish for chicken or fish. 5. Ditch the afternoon coffee. Swap your afternoon latte for kombucha, kefir or a sparkling probiotic beverage. 6. Taste-test probiotic-rich foods that you haven’t tried. Your local Whole Foods, Sprouts or any well-stocked healthy market will offer a wide selection of tempeh, kimchi and sauerkraut. Chakra’s favorite sources for fermented foods are Wildbrine (their nine kraut flavors include “curry cauliflower,” “ beets & their greens,” “brussel kraut” and “red beet and red cabbage”) and Farmhouse Culture. It suggests enjoying its smoked jalapeño kraut on a grilled cheese sandwich or in a burrito and their horseradish leek kraut with grilled veggies or smoked salmon. Shelley Levitt is a freelance writer based in Southern California.

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