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5 Steps to Establishing Clear Boundaries at Work

Live Happy blogger, best-selling author and workplace wellbeing coach MichelleMcQuaid presents this series of interviews entitled "Show Up, Shine and Succeed." This is the last of five insightful, informative posts, each with a differentpositive psychology expert speaking on topics related to happiness, confidence and success in the workplace.Do you have trouble saying “no” to people at work? Many of us find setting boundaries to be a challenge.Yes, I can take on that extra project, although my days are already too full. Yes, I can have that difficult conversation, even though it’s your responsibility and not mine.Yes, I can work over the weekend, even though my family and friends had plans.Sound familiar ?“Learning to set and keep clear boundaries with your boss and colleagues is essential if you want to remain happy and productive at work,” explains best-selling author and productivity coach Valorie Burton.Click here to listen to the full podcast.“Boundaries are a definition. Think of it like owning a house; your property has a specific boundary around that property. Everything inside the boundary is your responsibility, and what’s outside is not,” suggests Valorie.“When we begin to blur those lines, we find ourselves in situations that become very frustrating.”Setting boundaries means learning when to say no. It means asking for the respect we want, and balancing our needs and responsibilities. Valorie recommends trying these five steps to effectively setting boundaries at work:1. Establish your boundariesStart by asking yourself, what are the boundaries you need to protect your own happiness at work. Try to clearly envision what it would be like if these boundaries were respected and gracefully enforced. Ask yourself: “What does that give me? How does it feel when I am operating at my optimal potential?”Then notice the areas where you currently feel frustrated, stressed or overwhelmed, and how, when and by whom these boundaries are being crossed.2. Challenge the stories that hold you backWhen it comes to setting boundaries, we often catastrophize about the consequences of saying ‘no’ to other people at work. It takes a lot of courage to sit down with your boss and say, “I need to do this differently. Can we talk this through?” What if it upsets them, or even puts your job at rish? Ask yourself: “What am I afraid will happen if I do?” Make the space for self-reflection and write out what you need to say this person to help you feel more confident about honoring the boundaries you require to maintain your happiness and success at work.3. Start with one conversationDon't try to set all your boundaries at once. Take it one conversation at a time and practice identifying, asking for and keeping a boundary. Notice what works, adjust what doesn’t and keep moving forward to make these conversations an effective part of the way you work.4. Enforce your boundariesCreate a plan of action for what will happen when your boundaries are crossed. Be sure to compassionately let people know when you feel your boundaries are not being respected (most people will mean no malice, but may be unaware of the impact their behavior is having on you). Communicate clearly what choices you will need to make in order to honor the boundaries you’ve set to ensure you can successfully support yourself, your team and your organization.5. Pay attention to what worksWhen you begin progressing and setting better boundaries, give yourself credit for each step forward. You’ll find, just like a baby learning to walk, from time to time you may stumble. Setting boundaries takes practice so give yourself permission to keep learning and growing knowing that this is a skill vital for your success and happiness.For more ways to approaches to set boundaries successfully at work be sure to visit Valorie’s website at www.valorieburton.com and check out her wonderful books for creating happiness at work and in life.And if you’d like more tested, practical ways to show up, shine and succeed at work visit https://www.showupshineandsucceed.com.

Self-Care

5 Ways to Turn Tiny Habits into Big Changes

Live Happy blogger, best-selling author and wellness coachMichelleMcQuaidpresents a series of interviews entitled "Show Up, Shine and Succeed." This is the fourth of five insightful posts. Each podcast/interview features a differentpositive psychology expert, all speaking on topics related to happiness, confidence and success in the workplace. Have you ever stumbled across a great idea that could make you more effective in your career—and promised yourself that you’ll get started on it later? Break a big change into small, manageable pieces We all find reasons to put off making the positive changes, even if we know they will help us in the long run. Despite our best intentions, we get distracted, life interrupts us, we become too busy and the very idea of trying to do one more thing is completely overwhelming. “While many people talk about behavior change as being hard, it’s actually not hard if you do it in the right way, by creating tiny habits,” explains BJ Fogg, an experimental psychologist at Stanford University, who has proposed the concept of "Tiny Habits" as a way of overcoming our usual obstacles to change. Click here to listen to the full podcast. “Tiny habits help you scale back bigger behaviors into really small behaviors and sequence them into your life where they can be easily accommodated,” said BJ. “They rely less on willpower and motivation and more on redesigning your life little by little, so over time these small shifts create dramatic results.” How to get started Given that researchers estimate 40% of our day consists of mere habits, it seems reasonable to try to hack some of these routines to create the kind of changes we want to make in our work and life. For example, let’s say you want to finally read the pile of articles and books growing next to your desk to improve your expertise in a key area of your work. Applying BJ’s formula for making small changes, you might create a tiny habit by taking the following steps: 1, Scale back change to something very small If something is very simple to do, you’ll need far less motivation and will power to follow through. Also, scaling down a task to something small helps remove all those “too busy right now” excuses. When you actually do it, you create feelings of success that can be built upon. Rather than trying to get through the whole pile, try setting yourself the goal of reading ten pages each day to get started. 2. Find time for your new behavior Look for time when this small new behavior fits naturally into your day. Try to find an existing recurring activity that would be a good match for the new behavior you’re trying to create. It might be first thing in the morning when you turn on your computer, or when you stop to eat lunch. 3. Create a tiny habit recipe Program your tiny habit so you know exactly what you need to be doing and when you need to do it. Use this formula to make it easy: After I (insert existing routine), I will (insert new routine). It might be: After I turn on my computer at work, I will read ten pages from the pile. If the habit isn’t working try shrinking the change even further, try an alternative routine to anchor your new habit to and ensure your new routine is well matched to the anchor you’ve chosen. If you’re too focused on answering all your emails in the mornings to enjoy reading a better recipe might be: After I sit down to eat my lunch, I will read one page from the pile. 4. Celebrate your success Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool. You can help make small behaviors more automatic and make yourself want to stick with them by rewarding yourself. When you complete your tiny habit, take a minute to metaphorically pat yourself on the back or use another form of affirmation to show yourself that this a behavior you’re proud of, and to make it something you’re more likely to keep doing. 5. Build your habit day-by-day As your habit begins to stick, expand on it as required. Build the habit a little bit at a time, without compromising your ability to get started each time. Maybe try reading two pages a day, then three pages a day, perhaps even four or five. What tiny habits can you utilize to increase your successes at the office and in life? If you’d like help to walk through this recipe step-by-step, visit tinyhabits.com and join one of the weekly tiny habit programs or get trained to be a coach. And if you’d like more tested, practical ways to show up, shine and succeed at work visit showupshineandsucceed.com.

Workplace

Do You Have The Grit To Create Lasting Success?

Live Happy blogger, best-selling author and wellness coachMichelleMcQuaidpresents a series of interviews entitled "Show Up, Shine and Succeed." This is the third of five insightful posts. Each podcast/interview features a differentpositive psychology expert, all speaking on topics related to happiness, confidence and success in the workplace. Do you have the passion and perseverance necessary to create a successful career?Researchers have found when it comes to successfully achieving our long-term goals, there’s one quality that distinguishes us most: grit. “Gritty individuals approach the journey to mastery like a marathon rather than a sprint, and this fuels their stamina to practice their talents over and over and over again,” explains Angela Duckworth, associate professor of psychology at University of California at Riverside. Click here to listen to the full podcast. Angela defines grit as the tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward longterm goals. It entails working consistently toward challenges and being able to maintain interest and effort over time, despite failures, setbacks and plateaus in progress. Whereas most of us take disappointment or boredom as signals that it might be time to cut our losses, people with grit take these signs as the moment when they need to stick with it and truly show up. Her researchhas established the predictive power of grit to determine successful outcomes. While much is still being learned about the subject, Angela suggests three things you can do to improve your level of grit: 1. Be Meaningfully Interested Make sure your longterm goal is based around something that is interesting and meaningful to you. Professor William Damon at Stanford University has found that when we find something personally interesting, and it’s meaningful to the world beyond ourselves, we are able to connect passion with action. It motivates us, providing a sense of purpose and energy, and preventing burnout. 2. Cultivate a growth mindset In recent research with Professor Carol Dweck from Stanford University, Angela has found that grit is positively correlated with the belief that we can improve our talents and abilities. Having a “growth mindset” is one of the cognitive antecedents that makes you more inclined to be gritty because it cultivates the belief that things can improve, that failure is not permanent and that there is a reason to persist. 3. Ask for support Rely on other people around you who can hold you accountable to your goals and ensure you don’t quit in the face of frustration or discouragement. When you study the trajectories of top performers, you see that there were times when they stumbled and doubted themselves. It wasn’t always easy for them, and in many cases, they relied on others to help them get through the toughest times. As Woody Allen once noted, “Eighty percent of success in life is showing up.”And while the number 80 percent does not come from academic research, Angela does agree that for many endeavors, if you can just persist and keep showing up, you will eventually overcomes many of the obstacles in your path. You can test your levels of grit in Angela’s research lab at sites.sas.upenn.edu/duckworth. And if you’d like more tested, practical ways to show up, shine and succeed at work visit showupshineandsucceed.com.

Workplace

5 Steps to a More Courageous You

Live Happy blogger, best-selling author and workplace wellbeing coach MichelleMcQuaid presents this series of interviews entitled "Show Up, Shine and Succeed." This is the second of five insightful, informative posts. Each podcast/interview features a differentpositive psychology expert, all speaking on topics related to happiness, confidence and success in the workplace.At work, are you more driven by what inspires you or what scares you?Margie Warrell, best-selling author and coach, puts it this way: “ ‘For the sake of what?’ are you willing to speak up at work, transition your career, start a new business or take on a big job?” All of these things involve risk; what would motivate you to take on that kind of risk? Once you identify that, you can find the courage to make those changes.Fear keeps us small and stuck in jobs that don’t fulfill us, but make us feel safe. But is there really anything safe about living a life in which you feel disengaged, disillusioned or desperate to be doing something else?“In order for you to get outside your comfort zone and stop playing small and safe, you need to have a clear purpose,” said Margie, when I interviewed her recently.Click here to listen to the full podcast.Feel the fear and do it anyway“Courage isn’t the absence of fear,” explains Margie. “Rather, courage is action in the presence of our fears and self-doubts.”When we act by starting with small steps over time, we become more courageous. Our fears don’t run our lives, and we’re much more driven by what inspires us than by what scares us.However, we tend to overestimate the probability that something will go wrong and underestimate our ability to handle the consequences of risk. These factors drive us to avoid the actions we really need to take—not stick ourselves out there and speak up.‘For the sake of what?’There is a big difference between being well off and having wellbeing. It’s easy to mislead ourselves that if we just had the success we wanted, it would be simple to develop our strengths—to show up and shine in ways that truly matter.But that actually works in reverse. Only when you can answer “for the sake of what” clearly will you be willing to put yourself at risk, truly courageous and as purposeful and successful as you can be.According to Margie, taking the following steps will help you to stop playing safe and find the courage to do what really matters to you at work:1. Be aware of your impactBecome aware of the impact you have on others simply by the spirit you bring to what you do. You may not be living out your greatest passion each day. But if you bring a spirit of engagement to what you do, you show others that what you do each day matters.2. Understand what drives youWhy would you bother to speak up at work, start a new career or take on a new job? What would it take for you to risk leaving your comfort zone? Once you identify that “why,” you will have the clear-eyed determination to go for it. 3. Find your purposeDiscover the intersection of your talents, passions, values and skills so that what you do every day is meaningful. There may be things you are passionate about, but you might lack relevant skill at the moment. Or there may not be an opportunity—or perhaps if you pursued this passion as a vocation, it might compromise the family stability you value.Purpose is rarely about all or nothing. Rather, it’s about finding an intersection between what you’re good at and care about with value and need in the marketplace. That intersection creates opportunities to combine them.4. Cultivate a courage mindsetEmbrace the discomfort that comes with feeling vulnerable by doing things that expose you to failure. As you become more certain what you want to do with your life, don’t start by taking on Mount Everest. Courage builds, so start where you are and do something today that stretches you. When you encounter setbacks, pick yourself up and figure out what the next step should be. It's also important to surround yourself with others who are courageous, conscious and committed—people who lift you up instead of pull you down.5. Tame your inner criticWe all have a voice inside our head that say, “Who are you to do that? You’re not good enough. What will people say if you fail?” Try saying, “Thank you very much. I know you’re trying to protect me ... Now be quiet, I’m going to take this risk anyway.”Find more practical strategies to help implement these ideas in Margie’s best-selling book Stop Playing Safe and at margiewarrell.com.And if you’d like more tested, practical ways to show up, shine and succeed at work visit showupshineandsucceed.com.

Workplace

5 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt

Live Happy blogger, best-selling author and workplace wellbeing coach Michelle McQuaidpresents this series of interviews entitled "Show Up, Shine and Succeed." This is the first of five insightful, informative posts, each featuring a different positive psychology expert.Do you ever find yourself hesitating, holding yourself back at work for fear that you’ll be discovered as an imposter? Do you worry that maybe you’re not really “good enough” to achieve the kind of success you dream of?Everyone experiences self-doubt from time to timeIf you are bothered by self-doubt, you’re not alone. In fact, one study of managers by the European Institute for Leadership and Management revealed that 50% of female managers and 31% of male managers admitted to experiencing self-doubt.“Unfortunately when we’re worried that our abilities are going to be questioned, we lack the confidence to turn our thoughts into actions,” explained Louisa Jewell, a positive psychology expert who has studied self-doubt extensively.Click here to listen to full audio interview.Self-doubt can hinder your performance at work“Self-doubt causes us to engage in self-protective strategies at work, such as procrastination, hesitation and self-handicapping in order to avoid failure,” says Louisa. “While we may start out consciously using these strategies, once we realize they’re working, they often become unconscious habits that limit our potential for growth and success.”While often viewed as internal—something created by the stories we tell inside our own heads—Louisa points out that researchers now believe self-doubt may be socially constructed.“Self-doubt is often generated in your mind because of the social evaluations of others,” she explained. “Human beings are generally sensitive creatures, and the moment someone questions you, challenges you or looks at you in a funny way, you start to question your abilities.”According to Louisa, we can move beyond self-doubt by using the following approaches:1. Be aware of who you surround yourself with.Your social network can either increase or reduce your self-doubt. If you’re embarking on something new, make sure you’ve got supportive people around you who are encouraging you to move forward.2. Focus on your workInstead of wondering, “How does that make me look?” or “What if I fail in front of this person now?” focus instead on what you’re trying to create, who you’re trying to serve and what you’d like to achieve. Try saying: “I’m just working away here and I could care less about what others might think about me.”3. Challenge the negative chatter in your head. Be aware of what you’re saying to yourself. If you find your thoughts are full of negativity and judgment, then challenge what you’re saying by asking: “Is that true?” Rather than having your thoughts irrationally hijacked by self-doubt, rationally look for evidence to take a more objective, balanced point of view.4. Use your strengths. Be aware of the things that you like to do and are good at and use these consciously to fuel your confidence to act. When you draw on your strengths it removes your fear of moving forward and taps into your deep-rooted belief that you can succeed, and that you have the resources and skills to tackle new challenges.5. Practice self-compassion.Be willing to look at your own mistakes and shortcomings with kindness and understanding. Don’t judge yourself harshly or feel the need to defensively focus on all your awesome qualities to protect your ego. Instead, embrace the fact that to err is indeed human. Try to get a realistic sense of your abilities and actions, and then figure out what needs to be done differently next time.You can find out more about Louisa’s research and her upcoming book on self-doubt at https://www.louisajewell.com.And if you’d like more tested, practical ways to show up, shine and succeed at work visit https://www.showupshineandsucceed.com.

Workplace

Show Up and Succeed

Recent polls show that two out of every three people report feeling disengaged in their jobs; many of us would simply like to be more inspired by our work.Perhaps you’re hoping for that extra bit of confidence to ask for a promotion. Maybe you’d like to be able to enjoy your work more, no matter what you’re doing or whom you’re working for. Or could it be that you hope others around you will finally recognize your skills and talents and reward you fairly for them.For many of us it’s as simple as having a bit more energy, feeling a little happier and finally being able to create the success we know we’re capable of. But what are the tested and practical approaches you can use to show-up, shine and succeed at work?Podcast series focuses on happiness and success in the workplaceEvery day next week, from September 29 to October 3, Live Happy will feature a podcast and blog in which work/wellness expert Michelle McQuaid discusses different aspects of workplace success and happiness. Five podcasts will feature five prominent experts in the field, each addressing a different perspective on how we can become more engaged and be inspired by our work.Louisa JewellPositive psychology expert Louisa Jewell notes that our sense of self-worth often impacts how we feel about our work. “Self-doubt causes us to engage in self-protective strategies at work like procrastination, hesitation and self-handicapping that hold us back from achieving the results we long for,” explains Louisa.Self-doubt is an internal phenomenon that reflects the way you talk to yourself. You can counter it with awareness, disputing the negative self-talk, and with a healthy dose of self-compassion. Increasingly studies find that self-doubt is generated by the social evaluations of others and the commentary that surrounds us.So how can you maintain your confidence in the face of other people’s criticism?Margie WarrellCourage coach and best-selling author Margie Warrell recommends making sure you are driven by what inspires you and not by what scares you.“In order for you to get outside your comfort zone and stop playing small and safe, you need to have a clear purpose,” said Margie. “Try to find what it is you are willing to speak up about at work. If you think through how you might want to transition your career, start a new business or take on a great big job when there’s more chance of you failing than the one you’re in right now.”Only when you can answer clearly ‘for the sake of what’ you’re willing to put yourself at risk, can you be as courageous as you can be, as purposeful as you can be and as successful as you can be.But will you have the grit to sustain your efforts?Angela DuckworthAngela Duckworth,Associate Professorat the University of Pennsylvania defines grit as the passion and perseverance for long-term and challenging goals. It's being inclined to really stick with a couple of things you care about and work hard towards them over weeks, over years and even decades.“Gritty people have placed extremely high values on their goals, and they understand that to accomplish anything worthwhile is going to require extraordinary investment,” explains Angela. “As a result they value habits, and accept that feelings of frustration are a normal part of growth.”But how can you develop positive habits when your time at work and home is already maxed out?B.J. FoggBehavioral psychologist B.J. Fogg, professor at Stanford University is dedicated to finding small changes that make improving our behavior easier.“Tiny habits help you scale back bigger behaviors into many small behaviors and sequencing it somewhere in your life that fits well. It relies less on willpower and motivation to create change and more on redesigning your life little by little so over time these small shifts create dramatic results.”For example, if you want to finally read the pile of articles and books growing next to your desk, then you could create a tiny habit recipe like this: After I turn on my computer at work, I will read one page. Then as the habit becomes routine, let it grow day by day until you’ve worked your way through the pile and are looking for new things to read.Once they start to stick though how will you protect your tiny habits from everyone else’s demands on your time and energy?Valorie BurtonBest-selling author and productivity coach Valorie Burton recommends setting and keeping clear boundaries with your boss and colleagues if you want to remain productive and happy at work.“Start by asking yourself, what are the boundaries you need to set in order to protect your own peace, joy and serenity at work,” suggests Valorie. “Choose the areas where you most feel the need for change and then ask yourself what conversation is it time to have?”To help you build up the courage, confidence and energy to take each of these steps, take the time to clarify in your own mind what it would take for you to show up, shine and succeed in ways that unleash your true potential at work.Sign up for the podcasts to be delivered to your inboxIf you’re ready to feel more engaged and inspired about your work, and to learn practical strategies for flourishing from top experts in the field, be sure to join Louisa, Margie, Angela, B.J. and Valorie for this special series of interviews. Sign up by clicking here to have the podcasts sent directly to your inbox, beginning on Monday, September 29th, or simply visit LiveHappy.com to access the podcasts and accompanying blog.

Practice

A Day of Rest

In the Jewish tradition, the 24-hour period from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday is known as Shabbat, or the Sabbath—the holiest part of the week. During that time, observant Jews do not use electricity, take photographs, drive a car or do many other things, as mandated in the Torah. On Friday nights, families eat a special dinner together, light candles, say prayers and eat challah bread to celebrate this time of rest and reflection.But you don't need to be Jewish—or religious at all—to find the benefit of incorporating a “day of rest” into your own busy life, or to be inspired by some of these ancient traditions.Taking a time-out from technologyRebecca Reice, a rabbi-educator at the Reform Jewish Congregation Beth Torah in Overland Park, Kansas, was worried that taking a day off from answering work emails and doing housework can seem impossible and even counterproductive in our hyper-busy world. Reice wanted her congregation to try it, but wasn’t sure they were ready to give up their modern conveniences, so she challenged herself to try unplugging first. "Years ago, I came to the realization that I am a time-obsessed person,” she says. “I’m always checking my watch or phone, checking my calendar to stay on track and pack everything into overfilled days." By taking off her watch on Friday evenings and living in the moment instead of worrying about what she needed to do next, Rebecca found deeper connections with her friends and community. Her congregants then picked up the challenge themselves.Shabbat, minus the religion partRebecca isn’t the only one reconfiguring what the idea of Shabbat means outside of religious practice. Marilyn Paul, author of the self-help/personal-organizing bookIt's Hard to Make a Difference When You Can't Find Your Keys, is currently working on a book about how Jews and non-Jews alike can incorporate rest, relaxation and renewal into their weekly routines.According to Paul, many people find that, as much as they would like to embrace the concept of Shabbat, they find it incompatible with modern working life. For some, it takes something serious, such as a major illness or injury, to force them to rethink their true priorities and how they spend their time.Paul suggests people stop looking at Shabbat as a list of things you can’t do and see Shabbat as a list of things you can, such as read a book, take a nap and spend meaningful time with your family.“Think through what is actually restful and nourishing and renewing for you,” she says. “One question is, what really satisfies you? Ask what would really feed your soul and feel great. Renewing and de-stressing are a practice.”Take time to rest and reconnectHer sentiment is echoed by Rabbi Jessica Minnen, the director of content and training for StartUp Shabbat, a New York-based initiative that encourages people to think about Shabbat as an opportunity for increased mindfulness.“It is a day to break from the work you usually do, but it is also a day to do things you don't usually get to,” she points out. “Read a novel. Bake a cake. Play outside. Sleep!”Says Jessica, “Think of Shabbat as a day of recharging. For me, that might mean yoga class or group meditation. For you, that might mean Friday night dinner with friends or a concert in the park with your family.”This weekly downtime can also be a time to think about the less fortunate, realize how grateful you are for the people around you, and think of ways to give back.According to Minnen, when you have a day of mindfulness, “Time becomes more valuable, you feel more present in the space you occupy, your spiritual life develops and your relationships grow.”Lilit Marcus is a New York City-based writer and tea addict. Her first book,Save the Assistants: A Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the Workplace, was published by Hyperion. You can also look for her work in theWall Street Journal,Teen Vogue, and Elle.com. Her sister says she dresses like a librarian.@lilitmarcus

Practice

About the Wake Up Happy guest speakers

Don't miss the May Wake Up Happy series!Dani DiPirro is an author, blogger, and designer living in a suburb of Washington, DC. In 2009, she launched the websitePositivelyPresent.comwith the intention of sharing her insights about living a positive and present life (something that didn’t always come easy to her!).Anything and everything focused on positive personal development has a home on Positively Present including: tips for being more positive; advice for living in the moment; articles on how positivity can improve you; information on positive personal development; insights on how to share positivity with others; and resources and inspiration for being positively present.In 2012, Dani left her full-time job in Marketing to pursue a career with Positively Present. Since then, she has self-publishedStay Positive: Daily Reminders from Positively Present(learn more atStayPositive365.com) and publishedThe Positively Present Guide to Lifewith Watkins Publishing. Dani has also created e-books on specific topics such as self-love, holiday planning, and organization. She is currently working on her next book.Dani and her work have been featured in a variety of websites and print media, includingGlamour,The Washington Post Express,Forbes,The Huffington Post,The Globe and Mail, andThe Happiness Project. In 2015, Dani was featured byELLE Magazineas a Coach of the Month, writing weekly articles for the publication on mindfulness.While expanding her career as an author and blogger, Dani also began learning about graphic design and illustration. In 2012 she took her firstNicole’s Classescourse online and fell in love with creating illustrations, typography, and design. She has since launched a design studio,Twenty3,in which she creates downloadable content onEtsy, designs products forSociety 6, and works withindividuals and businessesto help create modern, uplifting illustrations and designs.When she’s not designing, blogging, or writing, Dani can be found with her head in a book (check out what she’s reading onGoodReads), creating images for Instagram (follow her on@positivelypresent), or pinning like a madwoman (take a peek at herPinterestboards).Arthur Woods is an entrepreneur, speaker and writer on the future of work. He is the co-founder and COO ofImperative, the first professional platform to help people manage a fulfilling career. Arthur's deep expertise engaging the millennial generation has enabled him to lead both the conversation and innovation around the next generation of work. His efforts have been featuredin Forbes,Fast Company, Huffington Post, Washington Post and ABC7’s Washington Business Tonight.Arthur previously led operations forYouTube EDUatGooglewhere he oversaw operations ofYouTube for Schools,managed the development of YouTube’s first guide for education and co-organized YouTube’s inaugural Education Summit.He previously co-founded theCompass Fellowship, the world's largest collegiatesocial enterprise training program, inover 18 universities worldwide. He also co-foundedOut in Tech, the largesttechnology meet-up for New York's LGBT community.Arthur studied Operations and information Management at Georgetown University and Project Management at Stanford University. He is a World Economic Forum Global Shaper and sits on the Boards of the Sierra Institute, Georgetown TechnologyAlliance and Compass Partners.Mitchel Adler, Psy.D., CGP is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, Certified Group Psychotherapist and the creator of MindBody Intelligence™ (MBI). He has served on the faculty of the UC Davis School of Medicine andis co-author of the book,Promoting Emotional Intelligence in Organizations(ASTD press) and other research articles.As a professional speaker and consultant, Dr. Adler has worked with numerous organizations including the USDA Forest Service, the City of Sacramento, The UC Davis, Graduate School of Management, The Monitor Group, the Organizational Development Network of Sacramento, and Calgene, Inc. As a member of the steering committee of California’s Psychologically Healthy Workplace Award Program, Dr. Adler participated in reviewing and selecting organizations that supported their employees in outstanding ways. He also has a private psychotherapy practice in Davis, California where he works with individuals and facilitates psychotherapy groups.As a staff psychologist at the University of California at Davis, Dr. Adler co-developed the university’s mind-body wellness program and established the inter-departmental mind-body wellness task force. He also created and facilitated mind-body workshops, seminars, and groups, as well as trained psychologists, social workers, physicians, and nurses in mind-body theory and interventions.Dr. Adler has a doctoral degree in clinical psychology fromthe Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology (GSAPP) at Rutgers Universitywhere he was the recipient of the GSAPP Scholar’s Award, the Graduate Scholar’s Award, and the GSAPP Alumni Scholarship. He received his bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor where he graduated with Distinction and was a James B. Angell Scholar.Thomas Bradbury is a Professor of Clinical Psychology. After earning his PhD in Clinical Psychology in 1990 from the University of Illinois, he moved to Los Angeles to start the Marriage and Family Development Laboratory at UCLA. Since then, Bradbury and his team have conducted several longitudinal studies that help explain how marriages change and how couples can keep their relationship healthy and strong. With funding from the National Institutes of Health, the National Science Foundation, and the John Templeton Foundation, Bradbury and his collaborators have published more than 100 research articles and three edited books, including The Psychology of Marriage.Recipient of the Distinguished Teaching Award from the UCLA Psychology Department, Bradbury has also been honored with several awards for his research on marriage and intimate relationships, including the Distinguished Scientific Award for Early Career Achievements from the American Psychological Association. Bradbury is a member of the Scientific Advisory Board at eHarmony.com, and he is an affiliated professor at the University of Fribourg, Switzerland. He speaks regularly at universities and conferences in the US, and he has presented his research findings in London, Cambridge, Tel Aviv, Milan, Heidelberg, Zurich, Geneva, Wellington, Christchurch, Toronto, and Vancouver.

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Creative Thinking Helped Me Find a New Path

I have a confession to make: Despite a deep academic interest in play, I’m not the most playful person. I’m too results-focused, too enamored with rules and often too serious to just spontaneously play. Yet playing creatively—with ideas in my head, by looking at things in new ways—helped change my future.Several years ago, I was completely stuck. Stuck in a career that had run out of growth opportunities. Stuck in an organization where I struggled to find meaning. Stuck with financial responsibilities that shackled me to my job.Finding a new pathWhen it came to my career all I could see ahead of me were years and years of gray.My options—or lack of options—seemed pretty straightforward. I could try to find another big, high-paying corporate job—but it was unlikely to satisfy my craving for more purpose. I could quit my job and start my dream business, but I needed a consistent stream of income. Or I could try to stick it out, find joy in other parts of my life, and accept that this was what it meant to be a grown-up.But, I thought to myself at the time, surely there has to be more to life. That’s when I decided to start playing.The benefits of playNot just part of childhood fun, play is in fact a profound biological process that has evolved to promote our survival. It shapes our brain, improves our flexibility and lies at the core of creativity.When it comes to our work, far from being a distraction, Dr. Stuart Brown, author of Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soulbelievesplay and work are mutually supportive. Why? Because both rely on creativity.“Respecting our biologically programmed need for play can transform work,” writes Dr. Brown in his book. “It can bring back excitement and novelty to the job. Play helps us deal with difficulties, provides a sense of expansiveness, promotes mastery of our craft, and is an essential part of the creative process. In the long run, work does not work without play.”Creative thinking opens up new possibilitiesOften play takes place in an imaginative world, but is also firmly grounded in reality. To activate the functionally diverse regions of the brain and create new opportunities, I decided to just play—to imagine, explore and have fun—with the possibilities of what might happen next in my career. I let go of the need for serious outcomes and unleashed my creativity.Each day for one week I played with completing this sentence: “To make my work more purposeful, joyful and rewarding I could…”For 15 minutes I’d let my mind run free; there were no right or wrong answers. At the end of the week, I read everything I had written and found five genuine possibilities for what I might do next in my career—things that I had never previously imagined. One in particular filled me with excitement.Play breaks down perceived barriersWhen Monday arrived, I went to my boss and proposed an unorthodox win-win solution. I’d give six months’ notice, during which I would work part-time while I began building my own business. To avoid losing my skills (on which he relied), at the end of this period he would become my first client. The ink was dry on my paperwork before the end of the week.It was only when I allowed myself to “play” and to be creative in my thinking that I was able to move beyond my self-imposed limitations. It gave me the freedom to find new patterns, and it sparked the “aha” moment that I needed in order to envision a different future.Work and play are not mutually exclusiveNo wonder, as Brown says, a growing number of corporations are identifying play as their most precious commodity.So when it comes to your work—be it your own career, a project you’re struggling with or a colleague who’s driving you mad—ask yourself if you are playing enough, thinking creatively about future possibilities. Your future happiness may rely on it.For more on creativity, see the special section in the October issue of Live Happy magazine.Michelle McQuaid is a best-selling author, workplace well-being teacher and change activator.To learn more about Michelle visitwww.michellemcquaid.com.

Practice

3 Keys to Boosting Your Confidence

Is fear of failure holding you back?Do you charge ahead, willing to give anything a try and persisting in the face of setbacks, criticism and failure? Or do you hesitate, waiting until you feel you can put the pieces together so everything will be “just right,” ensuring that everything goes as planned and everyone is happy?My grandfather’s motto for life is: “Just get in there and have a go.”As I look back on decades of risky career moves and wonderful adventures around the globe, I thank him every day for giving me the confidence to show up for the things that have mattered most in my life.In fact, I didn’t realize just how good his advice was until I recentlyrecorded this podcast withKattyKay, co-author of the best-selling bookThe Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know.Thoughts into actions“Confidence is what turns our thoughts into actions,” explained Katty. “With it you can take on the world; without it you remain stuck on the starting block of your own potential.”It turns out confidence isn’t simply feeling good about yourself, saying you’re great—perfect just as you are—and believing you can do whatever you want. Nor does it require you to be a jerk who always has to speak first, ignores other people’s ideas, or demands to be given what you deserve. Rather, confidence is what allows you to stop mumbling, apologizing andhesitating, and instead start acting, risking and failing.“Confidence matters more to our success than competence does,” said Katty. “If you choose not to act, you simply have less chance of success.”Unfortunately,Katty’s research foundthat confidence appears to be a particular challenge for women across professions, income levels, and generations. And while our genetics, our schooling, our upbringing, our society and even the way we look are all factors that affect our confidence, it’s also a result of our own choices.Choose to become more confidentAs a result, Katty believes we can improve our levels of confidence through three simple steps:1. Take action—Nothing builds confidence like taking action, especially when the action involves risk and failure.So step outside your comfort zone, and if the very idea feels overwhelming, focus on how your actions can benefit others to kick-start your confidence. Start with small challenges that allow you to grow, improve and gain confidence. If you fail, think about how you can do it differently next time, and try again. If you succeed, set yourself the next challenge and keep stretching yourself forward again and again.2. Think Less—Note the stories you’re playing over and over, and ask: Is this the only explanation for what’s unfolding? Try to note as many plausible alternatives as possible, and invest your attention on the explanations that build rather than destroy your confidence. And if all else fails, try a little self-compassion and talk back to yourself, as you would to a friend who was full of self-doubt.3. Be Authentic—Be confident in a way that feels genuine to you. You don’t always have to speak first; you can listen and incorporate what others say. You can speak calmly but carry a smart message—one that will be heard. Play to your distinctive strengths and values. Express your vulnerability. We’re at our most powerful when confidence emanates from our core.To find out how confident you really are, take this free survey.And remember my grandfather’s motto: “Just get in there and have a go.”What would you be doing right now if you had a little more confidence?Michelle McQuaid is a best-selling author, workplace well-being teacher and change activator.To learn more about Michelle visitwww.michellemcquaid.com.

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Creative Thinking Helped Me Find a New Path

3 Keys to Boosting Your Confidence

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