How to deal with bad-news overload

How to Cope With Bad News Overload

If you’ve begun to feel that turning on the nightly news is an exercise in personal fortitude, you’re not alone. Recent weeks have seen the headlines dominated by both man-made and natural tragedies, from terrorist attacks to twisters to escalating racial unrest. And let’s not even get started on politics. Jump online to escape with a couple of mindless videos, and you’ll soon find yourself wading through even more bad news. Friends and family use social media to weigh in on the day’s events and you quickly learn just how different their opinions can be—and how cutting the arguments become. Frankly, it makes it hard to find your happy place. Naturally negative Our innate negativity bias doesn’t help, either. While we are naturally drawn to events that are more dangerous or tragic, we also pay an emotional toll for that attraction to darkness. Studies have shown that continued exposure to negative news can lead to anxiety, depression and even post-traumatic stress disorder. Neurologically, when we’re exposed to negative programming for a prolonged period, we begin to interpret the world as less safe. We become more aware of negative events, which then creates a vicious downward spiral for our brains. Now for the good news: While you can’t change the headlines, you can change how they affect you. “A lot of it depends on how we listen to the news and how we balance it out,” says Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D., author of Body Intelligence: Harness Your Body’s Energy for Your Best Life. Joseph says it begins with listening with compassion, which requires us to let go of our preconceived notions and judgments. This takes practice, he admits, but it is key to developing an understanding of why things are happening to individuals and to entire populations. Use empathy, practice kindness “Once we better understand why bad things are happening, we can mindfully turn our attention toward little things we can do to reverse negative things,” he says. That might mean offering a smile or hug to someone who is upset or feeling down. It could be doing something nice for a co-worker. Send a thank-you note to a police officer you’ve never met; buy coffee for a stranger. You won’t just make them feel better, you’ll feel better, too. “When we do things like this, we balance the interplay between feel-good hormones in our bloodstream, like serotonin and dopamine, so you feel good, virtuous, rewarded and happy,” Joseph explains. “Those changes in blood chemistry and mindset facilitate a preference for continued higher-level thinking and problem-solving. This is a win-win situation, because we are simultaneously making ourselves feel happy, but contributing to the greater good by creating a loop of energy that is humane, healing and sparkling.” In other words, what goes around really does come around. And practicing positive or compassionate acts, even in the midst of trying times, will have a genuine impact on your physical and emotional well-being. “In philosophy, this is the power of the human spirit,” he explains. “It is powerful enough to establish pathways for new procedures in the brain and, hence, new circuits in your brain to help flow into states of happiness and health.” Easier said than done? If the solution sounds too simple, try putting it into daily practice and you may be surprised how much work it takes. Again, that built-in negativity bias will try redirecting our attention, but Joseph suggests the following techniques for cultivating some feel-good energy. Start and end your day with mindful physical exercise. Jogging or a morning walk while paying attention to the beauty of nature around you is a healthy way to wake up and can put you in the right frame of mind. Likewise, gentle mindful stretching or yoga is a good way to shake off the news of the day. Take a break from negativity—and know when you’ll allow yourself to be exposed to it. Sure, you want to stay informed, but taking in negative news before you have to do something important, like going to a meeting or greeting a loved one, can alter the energy of that event. Choose your timing carefully. Know what lifts your spirit. We all have certain colors, scents and songs that we respond favorably to; create your own positivity first-aid kit and use it when you start feeling drained or sad. Of course, we all strive to maintain that balance between staying informed and becoming overwhelmed. If you feel powerless, try taking action where you can—such as giving blood or volunteering with a cause you believe in. Doing so will give you a positive sense of engagement in the face of all that negativity. Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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article-Rowing_the_Pacific.jpg

Rowing the Pacific With Natalia Cohen

With 15 years experience of living and working in over 50 countries, Natalia Cohen has chosen to follow an unusual and fascinating path. Natalia is no stranger to being outside of her comfort zone and has made an art of embracing and adapting to change. Her understanding of team dynamics, the importance of a positive mindset and the ability to live in the moment led her to become part of the first all-female team to row unsupported across the Pacific Ocean.  Natalia shares her amazing story in this episode of Live Happy Now. What you'll learn in this podcast: How to control the controllable and not become overwhelmed by things. The power of strength and diversity within a team. The importance of enjoying the journey. Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Follow Natalia on Twitter.
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Warrior II yoga pose

Find Your Inner Warrior With This Yoga Pose

Yoga is an ancient Eastern practice that has made its way into modern Western culture. It helps people suffering from PTSD, anxiety, heart disease and even lessens the side effects of cancer treatments. Sustained poses, trained breathing and extreme focus all work in tandem to maximize the blissful benefits of this powerful practice. Warrior II (or in Sanskrit Virabhadrasana II) is a classic beginner yoga pose. It builds strength in the arms, legs and spine. Combined with equal inhales and exhales, the breath warms the body and brings the focusinward. Matt Sanderson, founder of the Dallas-based mobile yoga studio, Yogis On The Go, says Warrior II is a “physical external pose that strengthens quads and, if done correctly, the lower back and core as well. All yoga poses promote balance, but the warrior poses are great for both strength and balance,too.” Step-by-step Start by setting your stance 3 feet apart. Point your right foot straight ahead first and bend your right knee. Keep your left leg straight with your left foot parallel to the back of your mat. Keep back foot flat on the ground. Stretch right arm in front of you and the left behind you with your fingers out. Keep your spine (or back) straight as you extend your arms. Turn your gaze toward your right fingertips. Hold form for one minute with equal inhales and exhales, and then repeat on the other side.
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3 Easy Ways to Boost Your Energy

3 Quick Energy Boosts You Can Use Anytime

One thing we all want is an increase in high-quality energy. This is especially true when everyone is constantly trying to squeeze more out of you. It’s easy to find yourself reaching for that third cup of coffee before you even walk out the door in the morning. But wait! We’ve all experienced those high-quality energy moments of perfect flow, when you feel at the top of your game. These are moments when you are so into what you are doing, you aren’t even thinking about the task at hand; you just love it. Instead of feeling drained by the activity, you are energized, happy and satisfied you have performed your best. So where does this energy come from and how can you get more? Body intelligence is key Body intelligence helps you identify, harness and activate the energy you need to generate flowing experiences. This allows you to mix and match the right energy with the right activities in your life for higher-energy days. Your body is an incredibly intelligent machine. It works like an antenna capable of drawing energy from everything in its environment, including from within. For example, a weightlifter trying to lift 350 pounds has to tap into a different energy than a violinist playing a beautiful melody or a student trying to solve a difficult math equation. Body intelligence, essentially, refers to you and your awareness and ability to harness your body’s full energy spectrum. What you gain with body intelligence Practicing body intelligence allows you to figure out your daily energy needs. You replace energy drains with energy gains. You replenish energy while you use it so you always feel refreshed, perform your best, get better sleep, and wake up happy and ready to greet the day. Three energy bites to get started Beat midday slump. Instead of reaching for caffeine when your body is actually craving vitamin D and you’re dragging, refresh your blood chemistry with a short walk outdoors. The exercise and fresh air will revitalize you and the sunlight will melt away the melatonin (the hormone responsible for grogginess) in your bloodstream. Discover healthy environmental energies. Next time you’re outdoors, mindfully observe various sights, sounds, scents and other sensory details. When you feel a jolt of negativity or positivity, ask yourself, “What just happened?” Be specific. Can you identify why you are feeling this way? Ponder what reaction you would prefer to have in the future. Shift into a positive mood fast. Give your brain a good-mood neurococktail by looking at a photo of a loved one that you carry in your wallet or cellphone. For an extra boost, smile at your photo as you absorb the healthy currents into your body. For more on the mind and body connection, be sure to look for more of Dr. Cardillo's columns on harnessing healthy energy in the future. JOSEPH CARDILLO, PH.D., is an inspirational speaker and sought-after expert on energy teaching. He is the best-selling author of Body Intelligence: Harness Your Body’s Energies for Your Best Life. He has taught his methods to more than 20,000 students at various institutions. Visit josephcardillo.com or follow him on Facebook, Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D., and Twitter @DrMindFitness.
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Maya Rudolph TV show

Maya Rudolph Takes Charge

Some people find the key to happiness on a mountaintop. Others on a meditation cushion or a yoga mat. For Maya Rudolph, the epiphany that changed her life took place in the makeup trailer of the 2011 blockbuster comedy Bridesmaids. “In my younger years,” the actress-comedian and mother of four begins as she recounts the turning point, “I was always searching for happiness, always looking for a better moment. I used to think that happiness was something that you could bump against or a room that you walked into. Knowing how to be present and happy with where you are and who you’re with and what you’ve got was an important lesson for me and the biggest thing I want to teach my children.” The Bridesmaids' epiphany Fast forward to the making of Bridesmaids. With Maya as a bride-to-be, Kristen Wiig as her maid of honor and Melissa McCarthy, Rose Byrne, Ellie Kemper and Wendi McLendon-Covey as the rest of her bridal party, getting ready for each day’s shoot was like prepping for a real-life wedding. “We had this insanely long makeup trailer where the six of us would get our hair and makeup done,” Maya says. “You’re always tired because the call time was an ungodly 5:30 or 6 a.m. I was especially grumpy because I’m not a morning person, and my second daughter was only 7 months old so it was hard for me to be away from her. I'm in charge of making myself happy." “People would come in all the time and complain, ‘I’m sooo tired. I don’t want to be here.’ But I noticed that what I liked was when the door opened and the person who came in made you happy and made you feel good. Something in my mind clicked and I went, oh, I don’t have to react to other people walking into the trailer in a bad mood. And, I don’t have to wait for the person who comes in and is positive and uplifting. I can be that person who says a bright good morning and makes you feel good. “Recognizing that you can create your own happiness, especially when we’re getting all these different messages about what happiness is, was a shift that made a big difference in my life. It’s like emotional insurance. If I’m going to be at work and away from my kids and I’m working with people I love, then, OK, I’m going to make this day good. I’m in charge of making myself happy.” Live from New York As Maya shares this story, taking charge of her happiness is an easy task. She’s ensconced in a Manhattan hotel while she works on her new NBC comedy and music show, Maya & Marty, with Martin Short, a fellow Saturday Night Live veteran. The doorbell rings and room service delivers her breakfast—two poached eggs, gluten-free toast, jam and coffee. When the server asks if he can pour her coffee, Maya responds “Sure, why not?” with childlike delight. “This is insanely decadent for me,” she explains. “I don’t get to do this at home. I’ll take it. I appreciate it.” Maya’s glee in the morning’s peacefulness is understandable. Her three daughters and son, who range in age from 2½ to 10, are back home in Los Angeles with her husband, Paul Thomas Anderson, the Oscar-nominated director of films that include There Will Be Blood, Boogie Nights, Punch Drunk Love and Inherent Vice. Until her family joins her in a few weeks, Maya is enjoying life in a time machine that’s transporting her back to her late 20s. “I used to live and work in New York as a single person, pre-kids, so when I’m here working that old version of me kicks in,” Maya says. “I get a bit more sleep, which is rare, and I actually get to see friends, which is also rare. When I’m home with my family, the only priority is them. My kids always come first, and I don’t make much time for anything else. I don’t mind that at all. But this is a very nice way to focus on work without the usual guilt I’m riddled with. My kids are home and they’re in their routine. That makes me feel good.” Back to her comedic roots It’s been nearly a decade since Maya left SNL, where her repertoire of characters included Beyoncé, Donatella Versace, Oprah, Charo and, in the hilarious “Bronx Beat” sketches, Jodi to Amy Poehler’s Betty. After seven years on SNL, Maya went on to films that included comedies like Sisters, Friends With Kids, The Way, Way Back and Grown Ups 2, and animated pics like Shrek the Third, The Nut Job, Big Hero 6 and this summer’s The Angry Birds Movie. She also co-starred opposite Christina Applegate and Will Arnett in the short-lived NBC sitcom Up All Night. Now Maya is thrilled to be doing a variety show again, the perfect fodder for a self-described ham. “It really is the format I love the best,” she says. “After being away from SNL for so many years, I was craving performing in front of an audience again. There’s an incredible adrenaline rush you get from the immediacy of an audience response.” The new show is something of a follow-up to her 2014 comic-variety special The Maya Rudolph Show. But being paired with Martin Short gives her, she says, “such a great amount of confidence and joy. I feel this strange kind of calm that it’s all going to be all right. I’ve always loved and admired Marty, and he’s one of the loveliest human beings on earth. When he worked with my husband on Inherent Vice, I was severely pregnant and I came waddling down to the set just to watch him. He’s so lovable and so much fun to be with. I’d do anything with him.” Marty returns the compliment. The two performed together in February 2015 on The SNL 40th Anniversary Special, with Maya reprising her role as Beyoncé. “I thought our chemistry was kind of remarkable,” Marty says. “It was pure joy and fun and I thought, why not do more of this?” *** To read the rest of our feature on Maya Rudolph, pick up the September 2016 issue of Live Happy at a store or newsstand near you.
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Lorraine Toussaint's Everyday Happiness

Lorraine Toussaint’s Everyday Happiness

If you try to define Lorraine Toussaint by the many roles she has played throughout her career—including the vicious Vee Parker in Orange Is the New Black or the doting and big-hearted Donna, the mother of Dr. Beaumont Rosewood Jr., on the new Fox series Rosewood—you can see how good she is at her job. She brings passion and purpose to every character she portrays because she understands the brevity of each moment and is grateful just to be present. Her credo is to celebrate what’s lovely every single day. When she isn’t working, she maintains her website, everydaylovelybylorraine, where she shares her positive views on life. “We deserve to have every one of our days on this planet to be in some way, shape or form lovely,” she says. “And ‘lovely’ for me means authentic, real, transparent…and present.” HOW DO YOU LIVE HAPPY? Happy isn’t something that happens to me, it is a quality that I choose. Even if I am frustrated or challenged in the moment or going through a rough spot, it is one of my core qualities. So I am always aware that I am happy. I am happy to wake up; I am happy to breathe; I am happy to stand up in the morning. There are so many reasons why I am happy, but mostly I am happy because I choose to be happy. WHO HAS TAUGHT YOU THE MOST ABOUT HAPPINESS? The people in my life who have chosen to live unhappy lives. I watched the price they paid for unhappy living; it was active and it was a choice. Oh, good lord. Given the option I am going to choose happiness every single time. It’s a no brainer. So those really darkly depressed, complaining, ego-driven, narcissistic individuals in my life have really been my gurus. I am so not going down that road. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED OUT LOUD? This morning. I laugh out loud at myself all of the time. I laugh at my thoughts. I love the feeling and the sound of my laughter. I love trying to squeeze the life, the love and the joy out of my laughter. WHAT IS YOUR “GO TO” BOOK, MOVIE OR TV SHOW TO LIFT YOUR MOOD? I’m a real Scandal watcher, but I don’t watch very much television. I find a really good book on tape is a nice companion sometimes. If I need a laugh, I will tune into the comedy channel, just for the purpose of laughing. Mostly I like silence. I never have anything on in the background. I like hearing my thoughts. WHAT IS THE KINDEST ACT SOMEONE HAS EVER DONE FOR YOU? A very important woman in my life told me to trust myself above all others. Because you know yourself better than anyone. I remember the breath I took then, and it was such a lovely moment. I have seen so many acts of kindness. I went to Juilliard, which changed my life.…I have been broke as all get out, to the point where I had a friend sign a rental lease for me as collateral. I have had such kindness in my life. HOW DO YOU MAKE OTHERS CLOSE TO YOU HAPPY? I see them. I see the people in my life. I listen to them. There is nothing like being seen and feeling heard…and I make them tea. Many people come to my home and expect to be loved on. My doors are always open and I love on them. I like serving my friends and the ones I love. I create an environment where they can breathe deeply. That is what this home is meant to be. If you walk into a room I want you to know that I see you. That is a gift. WHERE IS YOUR HAPPY PLACE? The ocean. Anywhere there is water and being with my daughter is my happy place. My truly happy place is by the sea. I try not to be very far from the sea for very long. Chris Libby is the section editor at Live Happy magazine.
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Find Happiness in Your Headphones

Find Happiness in Your Headphones

In his song “I Believe in Music,” Mac Davis wrote: “Music is love and love is music If you know what I mean; And people who believe in music Are the happiest people I’ve ever seen.” As it turns out, Mac’s observation might have been more than a songwriter’s musings; it now appears to be scientifically accurate. In recent years, researchers from many disciplines have turned their attention to what music can do for our physical and mental health and why it seems to make us so happy. According to a study published in the journal Psychology of Well-Being, music is one of the most powerful and effective ways for creating lasting positive emotions. For many music lovers, the research is just confirmation of what they already know: Music doesn’t just sound good, it does good for your body and your brain. An officer and a musician While working the high-stress job of a police officer in Memphis, Tennessee, Susan Lowe used music as a way to let off steam and hit the “reset” button. “In the fifth grade, I went to see The Carpenters,” Susan recalls. “I saw Karen Carpenter up there playing the drums and knew that’s what I had to do. I went home and told my mom I wanted to play the drums.” She played in bands throughout junior high school, high school, college and beyond. When she joined the Memphis police force in 1985, she began living a double life of sorts, working full-time as a buttoned-down officer and then, after hours, drumming for a cover band that played the songs of Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Berlin and other chart-toppers of the time. “It was a total disconnect from my professional life,” says Susan, who is now retired from the police force but continues to play drums. “It’s a great outlet for stress; when you’re playing music, you don’t think about anything else. It’s just about the music.” At 54, she says she still listens to music all day, whether she’s in the car, at home or taking a walk. As a child—in the days before portable music players—she would take her vinyl music albums with her on vacation. “I would suffer emotionally if I didn’t have music,” she says. “It brings me peace. I identify with the music spiritually and emotionally, and I see things all the time that remind me of a song lyric. I can live without a lot of things, but I could not live without my music.” She’s not alone. A 2015 Nielsen study found that 93 percent of the U.S. population listens to music regularly, spending more than 25 hours each week taking in tunes. We spend more time listening to music than we spend watching TV—and the good news is, music does more than just sound good; it also can have a positive, powerful effect on our bodies and our brains. The more researchers learn about what it does for us, the more hopeful they are about how it can be used. Always on my mind Although no one is quite sure just how large a role our connection to songs plays in our happiness, it’s obvious that the connection remains for many years. Research from Alex Korb, Ph.D., an adjunct assistant professor of neuroscience at UCLA and author of The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, shows that listening to music from the happiest times of our lives can instantly change our current states of mind. He says the music serves as a reminder of the environment we were in during that happy time, while our brain’s hippocampus connects us with it emotionally. “I don’t know how I’d make it through Sunday night without them,” says Gail Leavey, nodding toward the band that plays each week at a Nashville, Tennessee, restaurant. “This is the kind of music we’d listen to when we were young, and it brings back so many memories.” The Nashville Sunday Jazz Band has been performing weekly since 1992; Gail has been there since the first show. For years, she and her husband only missed a show when they went out of town; after his death three years ago, she continued the weekly tradition, bringing his memory with her to every show. At any given time, the band’s rotating lineup can include music session legends, symphony orchestra members and jazz faculty from one of the area colleges. They play Dixieland and early swing, which for 97-year-old Gail is a treat for the ears. “There aren’t a lot of people who still understand this music,” she says. But inside that room on Sunday night, where the median age is well into the 80s, there’s a youthful energy that seems to swell with the music. Most, like Gail, are regulars; they’ve become friends over the common bond of music from the turn of the century—“the turn of the last century, not this one,” Gail points out with a laugh. “When we’re here, we forget our age,” confesses Gail’s friend, Billie Stuck, who turned 98 in May. “This kind of music was always my thing. It’s the beat, the rhythm—it’s a way to express yourself.” The two women still dance, now with each other instead of their husbands, letting the music take them back to another time and place. “It’s like ‘Brigadoon,’” says Ellen Pryor, referring to the story of the enchanted city that would rise seemingly out of nowhere. Ellen began attending the weekly jazz sessions when her husband, Bill, was struggling with Alzheimer’s. Bill was engaged by the music, and she found a caring community of music lovers who welcomed and supported the couple. When Bill died five years ago, the band played at his wake; it also has performed at anniversary parties and even weddings for this devoted group of followers. “It’s become an extended family that was brought together because of the music,” says Ellen, who drives several of the women to the performance each week. “It’s hard to explain until you see it for yourself.” Music & memories To understand why music has such an effect, scientists have explored what happens from the moment it reaches our ears. While there’s still much to be learned, one thing that has become clear is that it’s an automatic, not a learned, response. Dr. Jon Lieff, a Massachusetts-based psychiatrist who specializes in neurology, says that music—whether we’re listening to it or playing it—stimulates all of the brain’s regions responsible for emotional processing. Babies as young as 5 months old show emotional responses to happy music and by the time they are 9 months old, they can recognize a sad song, and it affects their mood. As we get older, that connection to music continues growing stronger. Jon says that’s because in addition to the alluring sound of the music itself we have emotional connections—both positive and negative—associated with it. Late Show host Stephen Colbert, in his tribute to Glenn Frey during a show earlier this year, illustrates this concept well in recounting his first slow dance ever to the Eagles song “Desperado.” “‘Desperado’ is the perfect last song at an 8th grade dance when you have danced with no one,” Stephen said. A girl he knew said that she loved the song, which gave him the courage to ask her to dance and led him to take a “small, very small step toward manhood.” As Stephen recounted on his show, “This was the first time I’ve ever had my arms around a girl in my entire life.” He called the dance “one of the sweetest, most beautiful experiences of my life….I just want to thank Glenn Frey for what he gave me.” Ever wonder why you tear up during some songs, while others might cause chills to run up your spine? It’s all in your brain. The sound of music Daniel Levitan, Ph.D., a cognitive psychologist who heads up the Laboratory for Music Perception, Cognition and Expertise at McGill University in Montreal, is a former rock musician and music producer who’s won 17 gold and platinum records and has worked with such artists as Santana, The Grateful Dead and Joe Satriani. His 2006 book, This is Your Brain on Music, was the first to delve into the intersection of neuroscience and music. Daniel explains that listening to music releases certain chemicals in the brain, such as dopamine, that “feel-good hormone” that gets a boost every time you hear a song you like. It may help explain why we just can’t seem to get enough of certain songs and why they have the same beneficial effect on us regardless of how many times we listen to them. It’s not just the memories we connect to that certain song; it’s the way our brains innately embrace the music. For Susan, hearing music from the ’80s is a double whammy; not only does it bring back memories of her youth, but she has fond memories of playing those songs on stage. At a recent Cyndi Lauper concert, she found herself watching the drummer. “We never played at that level, of course, but we played songs like ‘She Bop’ and ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun,’ ” she says. “When I go to these shows, it really takes me back to some moments in my life that were really special. It makes me smile.” You raise me up Armed with a growing dossier of studies showing we are hard-wired to respond to music, researchers are now looking at how to use that information to do more for our minds. A review of studies published in the journal Nature Reviews Neuroscience offers repeated examples of how music is linked to improved skills in memory, language, speech and focus. What’s more, “There are entire populations of people that can be helped by music,” says Dr. Ron Eavey, director of the Bill Wilkerson Center at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville. The center is the home of a research hub that studies how music interacts with the brain and is looking at how it might possibly help heal everything from autism to Alzheimer’s to post-traumatic stress disorder and pain. They aren’t alone in their efforts; a Boston-based company named The Sync Project, a global collaboration of scientists, engineers, researchers and musicians, is looking at how music can be used to treat such things as schizophrenia and movement disorders. For one of its first studies, The Sync Project is examining how music can help athletes improve performance during high intensity interval training. After Dr. Christopher Duma, a California brain surgeon, saw improvements in patients with Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and autism when he began using music as a therapeutic tool, he created The Music-Heals Project. Partnering with Mike Garson, former keyboardist for David Bowie and grandfather to an autistic child, they composed Symphonic Suite for Healing, which in addition to being used clinically is being performed with symphonies to raise awareness about the healing power of music. As more evidence of music’s healing power is discovered, researchers, scientists, doctors, psychologists and teachers are among those looking at ways to apply the findings and delve deeper into the secrets locked inside the notes. So happy together As much as music affects us individually, it becomes even more powerful when shared with others. Data from a number of top brain researchers confirms that listening to music with someone else can release prolactin, a bonding hormone. And singing together releases oxytocin, which increases feelings of trust. It even can help strengthen the immune system. A study by Tenovus Cancer Care, a British cancer charity, and the Royal College of Music, published earlier this year in the journal ecancermedicalscience, showed that cancer patients who sang in a choir for just one hour showed significant reduction in stress hormones such as cortisol and improved moods. They also registered an increase in the amount of cytokines, a protein found in the immune system that can boost the body’s ability to fight illness. Improved mood has been linked to lower levels of inflammation, which is often associated with serious illness, and the results were so compelling that Tenovus is now conducting further studies to see what kind of long-term rewards can be reaped when patients spend time singing with others. Of course, you don’t have to be ill or depressed to benefit from sharing music with others. “There are so many ways that music brings us together,” Jon says. “I don’t know exactly how it works, but it does. When you’re grooving on music together, there are synchronous brainwaves that occur. Music can bring people together through shared experiences or a shared song.” Grooving to the music In a live music setting, those feelings and forces can feel even more intense. Even though she no longer plays in a band, Susan says that music remains an important part of her life; she still plays the drums (“for fun and exercise”) and takes in about 60 live shows a year. “Seeing live music puts me in a different place, mentally,” she says. “You’re in the moment and just enjoying what’s happening. I’m watching the performers and the way they interact with each other. It’s a complete escape.” She has made lasting friendships at shows, both with the performers and with other fans. And she carries the memories with her. “One time during the late ’80s, we opened for Berlin, and during their set, one of their keyboards caught on fire,” she recalls. “It was like this unexpected pyrotechnic show! I think about that when I listen to their music, because it really stands out in my memory. We’re going to see them [on tour] this year, and having that experience makes me look forward to seeing them even more.” Jon says that the pre-existing history we have with certain songs amplifies the effects of listening to them at a concert; we then increase our connection with them each time we experience them differently. “When you go to a concert, you have memories that you connect with those songs, you know the history of the band, you’re hearing music and your body is moving. It has a broad, emotional meaning, and it’s involving all these different parts of the brain at the same time.” Jon adds that, with so many benefits—both known and yet to be discovered—music’s unique role as both a physical and emotional healer should be explored and enjoyed more fully. “It’s one of the most powerful spiritual forces out there for bringing people together,” he says. Listen to our Live Happy Summer Playlist! Paula Felps is the Science Editor at Live Happy magazine.
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friends having picnic on the beach.

8 Tips to Find Your Own Tribe

When you spend time with people who enjoy doing the same things you do—like playing music or dancing—the benefits to your body and mind just keep on coming. Connection leads to greater happiness. A sense of belonging boosts your immune system. And you can even reach a state of heightened consciousness called flow. Many positive psychologists have identified relationships with others as the most important feature of a long and happy life. Dan Buettner, founder of the Blue Zones movement, believes loneliness is the greatest public threat to health in the United States. People who feel they are an integral part of a tight-knit group, on the other hand, seem to thrive. So if you think you could use a little more connection and cohesion with other people, how do you get started? Here are a few ideas. 1. Follow your passions Do you excel at chess? Love to run? Never miss an opportunity to watch classic films? Sometimes as we get older, we let go of interests outside of work and family. You may need to think back to childhood or adolescence to realize what your talent or passion is. Once you find that, let it direct you to a community of like-minded people or organizations that specialize in what you love to do. 2. Go with a friend Do you have a friend who posts ecstatic photos on Facebook of her rock-climbing club? Are you intrigued by your neighbor’s involvement with the local community theater? Ask if you can come along to explore or look behind the scenes. Or investigate a new activity or group with like-minded friends; it will make it even more fun. 3. Venture outside your comfort zone A great way to meet people is to stretch yourself by charting new territory, perhaps by trying something you’ve been intrigued by but afraid to attempt until now. You may end up discovering a whole new talent or side of yourself. When you show courage and grit, you are even more likely to bond with the people surrounding you. You’ll never find out if it’s for you unless you take the risk. 4. Start online, but take it to the real world The web has made everything easier, including meeting like-minded people. You can find special interest groups and fan board for everything from Star Wars fanatics to knitting mavens. And Google is your best friend when it comes to finding any kind of activity in your area. But online groups can remain virtual and anonymous, and if you never make it out of your living room, you won't reap most of the benefits of belonging and connection that positive psychologists are so excited about. Meetup.com is a great place to start in terms of joining an actual community. Hashmeet is a new app that easily lets you start a new group in your area. 5. Join the congregation If you haven’t been to your church, mosque or synagogue for a while, it could be time to give it another look. These traditional communities offer a number of group activities, from scripture study to community volunteering to movie nights or weekly potluck dinners. 6. Get physical Doing a fun physical activity with other folks is a fantastic way to form social bonds. But the gym can be a pretty cold and anonymous place. Fitness programs like Camp Gladiator, SoulCycle, and CrossFit are a little intimidating, but they do break out of the typical gym atmosphere and inspire a kind of cult-like attachment in their members. If you find a yoga or Zumba class that you love, be consistent—go week after week—and you will start seeing the same people again and again. The more you get together (and sweat together), the greater chance you’ll start to get to know each other. Read more: More Fun, More Fitness 7. Volunteer Volunteering in a group is a bonding experience that can change your life, as well as the lives of those you help. In addition to congregations, above, and local schools, we've put together this very incomplete list of national organizations that offer group volunteer opportunities: Habitat for Humanity Volunteer Match Jewish Family Services Catholic Charities ASPCA Meals on Wheels, USA 8. Take the initiative Don’t wait for someone to invite you to join their cooking club or poker night—take the initiative and start one yourself! Call a few friends, put out a notice on Facebook and find out who might want to join in. Just because you started it doesn’t mean you are responsible for hosting every time. You are just kicking things off. Read more: Meet three people who found their tribe and thrived! Emily Wise Miller is the web editor at Live Happy.
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Find Your Tribe

Find Your Tribe

Mika Banks felt at home the first time she walked into the San Francisco Mission District dance studio of Rhythm & Motion. The room was filled with “so much joy,” says the 33-year-old dancer, alive with “people moving together—just completely letting go, like a party where everyone is doing the same dance.” “I went to class and I was hooked,” says Bay Area therapist Heather Bornfeld. “It’s a follow-along format so you have to give yourself permission to be lost, and then you’ll eventually find yourself and that is such a rush. I couldn’t wait for my next class—I planned my life around it.” What Mika and Heather responded to so strongly, aside from a fantastic dance workout to booty-shaking music, is something professor Charles Walker from St. Bonaventure University in New York calls “social flow”—a heightened state of well-being that is even more powerful when experienced in a group. The heightened feeling of 'flow' In his seminal positive psychology book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., writes that we reach “optimal states of consciousness” at times when our “attention is completely absorbed by the activity” in which we are involved. He gives examples of a dancer and a rock climber who “stop being aware of themselves as separate from the activity.” This doesn’t apply to just physical activities such as dance and running, but also to musicians playing jazz or a family playing a board game. In 2010, Charles published the paper “Experiencing Flow: Is Doing It Together Better Than Doing It Alone?” in The Journal of Positive Psychology, noting that although we get a sense of joy from a solo flow state, well-being is magnifed when it’s done with other people. According to Charles, collectivity and connectivity are built into our DNA. “Human beings are incredibly social animals and to surrender yourself to others in a worthwhile cause is a special pleasure,” he says. “When we do so we become graceful, supreme social beings.” “We are in a Western culture, and the individual is stressed an awful lot,” Charles says. “To surrender to a group [like they do at Rhythm & Motion] where there is beauty, grace and acceptance and find yourself bonding with diverse people is just amazing and thrilling and energizing.” Rediscover joy in dance Mika had grown up and danced professionally in Chicago before moving to Quito, Ecuador. But living at a high altitude for several years took a toll on her body, and she was unable to dance or exercise for three years. “I decided to make a big change, and I was seeking a dance community—hoping to make dance a part of my life again—but not in the way I had done before,” she says. Within a month of moving to San Francisco, Mika volunteered at Rhythm & Motion. Shortly after, she auditioned and became an instructor. She had hoped to dance professionally again, but she soon realized that part of her life was over. “I wasn’t finding joy in it anymore. Here [at R&M] are classes of 60 people having the time of their lives, calling it ‘church.’ It is the purest form of joy, of connection to movement and to other people.” Joy is contagious R&M students include many teachers, artists, healthcare professionals and—both Mika and Heather concur—psychotherapists. Heather says that as a therapist she does “so much talking and listening all day and I am so in my head, that to be able to feel in this completely physical way, and be completely free and present in my body, is like medicine. It is so important.” Movement and exertion elicit endorphins and other feel-good hormones. You also get a sense of community from sweating alongside other people whom you get to know well over the course of months and years of coming to classes. All of this creates a welcome environment for social flow. In addition, research from the decades-long Framingham Heart Study has shown that happiness is literally contagious—not just in the sense that we smile when others smile, but that when one person secretes oxytocin (the feel-good hormone), others around them will do the same. It’s no wonder the students at R&M, cycling fanatics braving city roads in groups and even bold roller-derby babes skating around a track in unison find these activities highly addictive. From flow to flourishing Social  flow takes well-being to the next level—flourishing. When you think of some of the happiest people you know, who comes to mind? Is it the uncle who goes into battle with other fanatics on weekends to act out scenes from the Civil War? The sister who belongs to multiple book clubs or the grandma who loves meeting with her quilting group once a month? People thrive on coming together over a shared passion. In research at the University of Arizona from 2001, sociology professors Miller McPherson, Lynn Smith-Lovin and James M. Cook used the term homophily to describe the fact that “similarity breeds connection” and that everything from marriage to friendship is a result of people’s drive to network with like-minded individuals. However, while “Birds of a Feather” (the name of their paper) may often flock together, sometimes a surprisingly diverse group will gel and it can be magic. HOW HARRY GOT HIS GROOVE BACK Harry Baulisch recently rode his first century ride with his friends from the Omaha Bicycle Company; 26 riders started and seven finished all 100 miles—he was among the finishers. It took them 12 hours. He recalls his first group ride about a year ago: “I was gasping for air, my legs were burning. I remember thinking, ‘I can’t do this, it’s so embarrassing.’ ” But the other cyclists waited for him at the top of the hill and gave him words of encouragement. “It was a situation that I wasn’t familiar with,” Harry says. “Being with people who show that kind of respect, concern and care for this guy that they had just met—and all we had in common was riding bicycles.” When Harry first walked into the Omaha Bicycle Company in Benson, just outside Omaha, Nebraska, he was only visiting. But this community of young bike enthusiasts, coffee junkies and alternative transportation advocates became a siren call for Harry, a retired Navy lieutenant in his early 60s who had been living in a small town in Minnesota. But like Mika at R&M, he felt immediately at home. Bicycles, coffee & community “I had my dog, Sally, with me,” recalls Harry, “and I asked if I could bring her in. I looked around and there were bicycles and a coffee bar, a couch and tables, and I thought—this is heaven!” Harry would come to the shop every time he visited family in Omaha, hang out and chat with the owner, Sarah Johnson. “One time I said to her, ‘This place is so cool; I would really like to be able to spend more time here.’ She said, ‘Why don’t you just move down here?’” “I started meeting people,” Harry says. “And they would say ‘Oh, it’s the guy from Minnesota!’ You get that little bit of gratification when you walk into the biggest city in the state and people remember you!” He could sense that this was not just your usual bike shop. He wanted to be a part of this community, and he was willing to pick up and move in order to change his life. A different kind of bike shop Sarah wanted to help Omaha develop a more robust bike culture. Friends raised $15,000 through a Kickstarter campaign to open the shop in 2012. “I was incredibly moved by the generosity: not just friends but also strangers contributed,” Sarah says. “I wanted to make a different kind of shop. I love customers who know nothing about bikes. I don’t want them to feel intimidated.” Harry was pulling himself together physically from previous health setbacks,including a heart attack, colon cancer and a serious car accident, when he first moved back to Omaha. Despite the challenges of his first uphill group ride, Harry kept at it. “As I continued on these Thursday night rides, the route changed and it got easier. Through these rides, I was meeting all kinds of people. We would ride for 20 miles to one of the breweries and have dinner, so the ride became a social thing” as well as a physical challenge. Recently the bike mechanic at the shop challenged Harry to ride 30 miles a day for 30 days, and he did it. “I had to make changes if I wanted to have a long life and quality of life,” Harry says. “I want to be doing something every day that excites me. As we get older we need to take a few chances, take some risks and re-enjoy things that we did in the past. It can be as simple and silly as riding fast down a big hill—just flying down a hill.” Take a risk to find a new place in the world According to Dan Tomasulo, Ph.D., who developed the positive psychology curriculum at Columbia University Teacher’s College, Harry realized he was not feeling completely happy in one place. He became aware that if he did not “do something about it he would have to settle, and choice is at the center of transformation.” At the end of the day, according to Dan, “Novelty challenges you to make a deeper commitment to how are you going to fit in. You get to re-create yourself—you may unlock a new aspect of your identity, a hidden talent.” Harry found something else that gives him a leg up on happiness: a crucial sense of belonging. “Harry is an amazing, joyous bright soul and he is super-fun to be around,” Sarah says. “He is a mainstay of the community. Now, if we don’t see him here every other day, we get worried about him.” Luckily they don’t have to worry long; Harry comes into the bike shop nearly every day, usually biking the 13 or so miles from his house. “I get my large coffee and a pastry from the local bakery,” he says. “But this is where the big change comes in: instead of going to the couch like I used to, I take a chair and go to the mechanics area or Sarah’s desk and chitchat. I am a fixture here now, and it’s like a safe haven for me.” A CELEBRATION OF FEMALE EMPOWERMENT “We were trying to create a safe environment for women to play a full-contact sport together,” explains Amy “Electra Blu” Sherman, a founder of the Austin-based Texas Rollergirls league. “We didn’t have any grand aspirations.” The Texas Rollergirls is “like an empowering, fun, athletic sorority and there’s nothing else like it,” Amy says. Derby offers different levels of intensity. If you just want to skate in the recreational leagues, it can be a place to skate and have fun with friends. Some more serious skaters are in it for the athleticism and competition. A new community, a alternate identity Erika Johnson was a mom of two who had just moved to Austin from California when she saw a group of women practicing in a park. “I got a friend to go with me to a primer class and I thought, ‘I could do this,’ ” Erika says. Soon she joined the team The Hustlers, adopted the alter-ego “Bad Influence,” and started wearing a silver-and-purple get-up complete with fishnets and face paint that made her look like a Day-Glo superhero on skates. “At  first I thought, ‘I’m 41 years old. Why would they want me?’ The first year was frustrating—I didn’t play as much as I thought I would,” Erika recalls. “But there was always someone there to lift your spirits and make you feel better.” The support she got from her new teammates, and even skaters from other teams, surprised her. “I could ask anyone, ‘How can I get better at this?’ And they would help me. We would have a league-wide practice all together, and we were all supportive of each other.” A league of their own For many women involved in Texas Rollergirls, and in derby in general, the league is their world. People become lifelong friends. When someone gets hurt, Erika explains, the whole league is there to support them with food, help getting to a doctor—taking care of each other. Part of the camaraderie comes from the fact that Texas Rollergirls is a completely do-it-yourself and volunteer run—from cleaning bathrooms to promoting and marketing events. When Amy started skating, roller derby was considered a fringe activity. Now, some schools in Austin and other cities offer roller derby as an afterschool program. “We’ve become part of the culture, and we’ve created this worldwide community,” Amy says. “I can show up in London or Dublin or Japan and and find a like-minded group of women.” What Amy and the Texas Rollergirls started in Austin in the early 2000s—a new kind of  at-track derby that is skater-owned and operated—has spread all over the country and the world. You’ll now find teams as far-flung as Tokyo and Toronto, but it all started back in Texas. Leave it all on the track “When you put on the face paint and enter the arena, you can feel the excitement. All eyes are on you. You can get out all your aggressions—leave it all out on the track. The best part is, you can come out and be this different person for an hour, and then go back to being Amy Sherman,” Amy says. And when all is gelling with the other players, there is a synchrony and the team moves like one smooth entity. But, in fact, there is a lot of practice and sweat that goes into that effort. In the words of Mihaly from Flow, “Although the flow experience appears to be effortless…it often requires strenuous physical exertion.” Communal or solitary, “it does not happen without the application of skilled performance.” Don’t underestimate the boost that belonging to a group can bring to your health and well-being: the bowling team, the weekly soccer game, the poker game, the book club. It’s a challenge to schedule fun and joy into our busy calendars. But if that pleasurable social interaction—the one outside work, home and church that stimulates your mind and body—becomes a regular part of your life—you will stick with it. If you’re lucky you may even lose your self-consciousness and achieve a heightened state of communal social flow. So go ahead and join the club! See what kind of joy and flourishing it may bring. Read More: 8 Tips to Find Your Own Tribe and Thrive Emily Wise Miller is the web editor at Live Happy.
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Cute couple in a convertible car.

Summer Fun Bucket List

When summer arrives, the mercury rises and it’s time to slow down the hectic pace of life. But before sinking permanently into your hammock, we have a project for you: Tick off some boxes on your bucket list! What, you say—productivity during the summer? But a bucket list is different from a to-do list. It’s a bucket full of all the fun things you’ve always wanted to do. So while you are whiling away your time this summer—or trying to keep the kids entertained during those dog days—try some suggestions from our list below. 1. Take windsurfing lessons With a few quick lessons, you will be up and surfing on your bare feet in no time. 2. Go for a ride in a hot air balloon Do something fun and exhilarating that doesn't require a lot of physical exertion. You'll feel like you're floating on air (because you are), with gorgeous vistas all around. 3. Try out a Zen retreat Imagine several days of meditation, with no phones, no computers...and no talking! 4. Visit Niagara Falls or the Great Smoky Mountains Give yourself a breathtaking view this summer by visiting one of these natural wonders. 5. Chill out at a music festival Summertime and music go hand-in-hand. Find a music festival with a great line-up, get some friends on-board and make a road trip out of it. 6. Host a snow-cone or homemade ice-cream stand Break out the cooler, grab your kids and make some snow cones or homemade ice cream for the other children in your neighborhood. 7. Organize a block party for your street Enjoy a potluck that creates community and fosters friendships. Be that neighbor who gets things going. 8. Get certified for SCUBA diving You don’t need to be near an ocean to get certified, but it will come in handy when you want to make use of it. 9. Turn your yard into an obstacle course for your kids Slip ’n Slides, tires, hula hoops, jump ropes, basketball hoop, mini mud pits and hopscotch in your driveway or backyard can all create a super-fun obstacle course for your kids (and you, too). 10. Sign up for a race in the fall Use summer to train (as a family or on your own) for one of the many fall charitable 5K races in your area. Couch to 5K is a great program if you are new to running. 11. Host a clambake Hosting a clambake at home is easier than you think. But if you don’t have access to good fresh clams or other summery seafood, we suggest a rockin’ backyard barbecue of baby back ribs instead. 12. Fill balloons with paint and have a messy balloon fight Wear clothes you don’t care about and aim at each other, or aim your balloon at giant paper to create your own artwork. Click here for a little tutorial. 13. Tour your own town If you were a visitor in your own town, what would you want to see? Where would you eat? Sometimes the best adventures are right in your own backyards. 14. Ride a roller coaster Whether you are an adult or a kid trapped in an adult’s body, riding a roller coaster might do you some good. 15. Go skinny-dipping Bare it all in nature and take a dip in a lake or a night swim in your pool. 16. Rent a convertible and drive to the nearest beach Turn up the sweet jams on the stereo and feel the wind rush through your hair! Oh, and don't let the kids spill juice on the backseat. 17. Do nothing No, we didn’t run out of ideas for you, we just know you are overdue for a break. When is the last time you did absolutely nothing and just enjoyed silence? Give yourself a little empty space this summer and just bliss out. Sandra Bienkowski is a contributing editor for Live Happy.
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