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5 Habits to Make You Happier on the Job

When it comes to our work, most of us long to be a little happier. But changing jobs, changing bosses, or simply finding more joy amid all the tasks on our to-do list often feels beyond our grasp. Many of us are so busy that we are just trying to keep our heads above water. We don’t have the time, let alone energy, to improve our current situation. I get it. Keeping up with life can be a full-time job. But what if there were a busy-proof way to start doing more of what you do best each day, regardless of what your job description or your boss might say? Use your strengths A growing body of research suggests that developing your strengths—the things you’re good at and enjoy doing—can leave you feeling more confident, energized and happy at work. The key I’ve found was to create an 11-minute daily strength development habit by harnessing my brain’s neurological habit loop of cue, routine and reward. And I’m not alone. With the help of Live Happy and the VIA Institute almost 4,000 people around the world have joined us for the free global Strengths Challenge with many reporting this small daily practice has left them feeling more energized and engaged, respected and valued and feeling like they were flourishing at work. All from just 11-minutes. But what are the strength development habits that might work best for you? Here are the five habits that have helped the most people create significant changes in both their performance and wellbeing at work: Creativity: When I wake up (cue), I will spend 10 minutes writing out any problems I’m facing as concisely as possible and then list as many possible creative solutions as I can before identifying one to try that day (routine). I will then place a sticker on my reward chart and when full treat myself to a massage (reward). Hope: Each morning when I go to get my morning coffee (cue), I’ll take 10 minutes to check in with one of my more hopeful colleagues and see what they’re excited about at the moment (routine). Then I’ll finish my coffee (reward). Diligence: When I get to work (cue), I’ll review my to-do list to ensure that I can still deliver on each of the tasks and if changes need to be made, I’ll update all concerned so people know they can trust my word and plan accordingly (routine). My reward will be my morning green tea (reward). Love of Learning: When I sit down in front of my computer in the morning (cue) I’ll watch a 10-minute video that teaches me something new (routine) and then post what I’ve learned on social media (reward). Social Intelligence: When it’s lunch time (cue) I will sit in the staff room and take the time to have a meaningful conversation with a colleague, by asking genuine questions about how it's going/what’s going well (routine). I’ll celebrate by eating my lunch (reward). Could a small daily strengths habit help improve your work? If you’d like some help developing a strengths habit for your work then join us for the next free global Strengths Challenge. Find out more at strengthschallenge.com, where you’ll be guided step-by-step through creating you own 11-minute habit and be given free resources and access to online strengths coaches to help you put your strengths to work. Or if you're interested in pursuing a new position or career path, visit Jooble. Michelle McQuaid is a best-selling author and coach with a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania.

Practice

10 Reasons to Tell Your Story in Public

When I gave my first TEDx talk about the power of happiness, it was life-changing. Being able to express myself to a receptive, completely engaged audience gave me a new sense of freedom and creativity. I wanted others to find the same experience. Several years earlier, I created Stand Up for Passion, an alternative to TEDx, as a way for ordinary people to express their struggles and achievements in a public forum without fear. It’s a seven-minute talk, just you and the mic. I work with each speaker over the course of a few weeks to create a cohesive story around the theme of identifying and then following a life's passion. Since starting Stand Up for Passion, we’ve heard tales of spontaneous acts of kindness, survival, bravery, cowardice, kismet, lost loves and fresh starts. What I’ve learned from telling my personal story—honestly and openly—and helping others craft theirs, is that a kind of alchemy takes place. Certainly part of the point is to entertain the audience with a compelling narrative taken from a pivotal moment in your life, but in doing so you also form a closer bond with the audience than you would have ever expectedand experience newfound growth and catharsis at the same time. Here are the most important reasons why you should take the plunge and share your story with the world (or at least a small, receptive audience). You will definitely be happier for it. 1. To heal Everyone has a story to tell. If you feel something heavy is sitting at your core and you need to get it out, talking about it is the way to heal yourself. When you tell your story, you make yourself vulnerable. You embrace your shadow and surrender the weight you’ve been carrying. This is an incredibly powerful process for healing. 2. To gain confidence Speaking in public is one of our greatest fears. Another is exposing our inner selves. Why not tackle both at the same time? If you want to work on self-confidence, go on stage and tell your story. Make yourself vulnerable in front of strangers. Express yourself deeply and honestly. The more personal you are, the more you will touch people. Test your limits. 3. To find your voice We all have different ways of expressing ourselves. The goal is to find your voice: the character, the poetry in you that you may not know exists. You will find your own unique way of speaking when you are at your most personal, but you can apply it in any context. 4. To make use of your biggest asset Your life, your experience, your story is your biggest asset. Our stories are deep, raw and real. People succeed not because they find what works, but often by doing everything that does not work first. Thinking back through your life at the ways you have survived and thrived will remind you of what a strong person you really are. Then when you craft the contours of that life into a narrative worth repeating to others, you will discover qualities you did not realize you had. 5. To express emotions Most people bury or deny their emotions. But once we have exhausted every technology, what will be left? Emotions, not emoticons, connect us as humans. When you tell your story with honesty and an open heart you make a direct and powerful connection with your audience and open yourself up in new and unexpected ways. 6. To become more comfortable in your body When you speak in public, you use not just your voice, but your whole physicality. In order to give meaning to your story, to make a connection with your audience and to express a range of emotions, you will need to truly be present in your whole body, aware and conscious of your movements, yet unselfconscious, almost like a dancer. 7. To become aligned Once your story is out, and you have fully connected with an audience that sees the real you, you are aligned. In other words, you are no longer hiding anything—no longer holding anything back. Your shadow has been exposed to the light and your mind-body-soul are in alignment. Happiness follows alignment. 8. To make negativity disappear Once you let out your story, you can use this event to “anchor” you in life. After telling your story and finding clarity and alignment, it will be easy for you to allow the negative energy or people around you to go away. 9. To create community Happiness comes from a group that forms around you, and with whom you share the same values. This community of like-minded people will come to you naturally once you share your story because they have seen the values that you both share. In addition, by crafting and telling your story, you have clarified your own values and vision for yourself. This allows you to go out and find the kind of community that will be right for you. 10. To become a storyteller Once you have crafted your first story, you will start to notice threads of narrative that run through other aspects of your life, such as your work and your family. Seeing the world through a storyteller’s lens is an enriching way to look at life. It is one way to bring a sense of meaning to an otherwise chaotic world. Arnaud Collery is an award-winning comedian, filmmaker and founder of StandupforPassion.com with events in Tokyo, London and New York. He is also aTEDx speaker on happiness and TEDx coach. Find more at arnaudcollery.com.

relationships

5 Tips to Maintain a Happy Relationship

I like to think of a committed relationship as a “journey from me to us.” Two unique people, with distinct thoughts, ambitions, and personalities now share their lives. But no matter how compatible you may be in the beginning, you will still face unexpected challenges along the way. Just as in any other journey, in order to meet these challenges, it’s helpful to have a map and a plan. As a life-long pragmatist I’ve accumulated a number of tools to help me navigate the exhilarating terrain of love and relationships. Here are my top five. I hope you find them easy to understand and useful to improve your relationship. 1. Keep each other close We all have limited amounts of emotional capital. It can be difficult to maintain intensely close relationships with more than a few people, so make sure one is your partner. If your busy lifestyle has you spending more time with friends and acquaintances than with the person you call your partner, reconsider your priorities. While absence might make the heart grow fonder, too much time apart can also result in emotional distance. When I find myself overly committed with social engagements and not home often enough, then I know I have to make a change. If I want to be emotionally close to my partner, I have to make sure we’re spending enough quality time together. 2. Find your own happiness You can never make someone else feel happy, and that obligation can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. people in relationships need to find their own happiness without expecting their partners to make them happy. Develop your own interests, take good physical and emotional care of yourself. Make time for what pleases you and makes you feel content. Structure your life to include time for those things. If I make myself happy and my partner makes herself happy ̶ then we will have lots of happiness to share with each other. 3. Be forgiving Sometimes, even the most loving of partners can say or do something petty or thoughtless. In an unhealthy relationship this could resort in a tit-for-tat race to the bottom of bad behavior. In this way, small slights can soon escalate out of control. If this happens often it can permanently damage a relationship. So when your partner says or does something hurtful, rather than retaliate, try to forgive. Take the high road. That way, if you say or do something your partner finds hurtful (and it is bound to happen) he or she will forgive you in kind. 4. Always keep the big picture in mind As a relationship moves forward, it’s all too easy to lose sight of the big picture, especially during emotional strain and conflict. We tend to become petty and focus on things that don’t matter in the big scheme of things. Remember that your relationship is more like a movie than a snapshot. It is a series of images that together tell a story. And, as in a movie, following every low point there is often a high point. Keep this long-term perspective in mind and you’ll both enjoy your movie better and be able to navigate any troubled waters you encounter along the way. 5. Lighten up There will be plenty of opportunities in a relationship to discuss difficult issues, but sometimes you just have to lighten up. One of the best ways for a couple to strengthen their connection to one another is to laugh and have fun together. Do you find yourself waiting to unload all of your grievances that have accumulated throughout your day on your loved one? Maybe your partner doesn’t want to hear only about the man who cut you off or the co-worker who won’t pull her weight. While there should always be space in a relationship to discuss the heavy stuff, make sure you find a balance. Make it a priority to have fun as well. Plan surprises, be playful, and don’t forget to laugh. Alan Foxis TheNew York Times–bestselling author of PEOPLE TOOLS, a series of self-help books that give powerful advice on building happy and meaningful relationships. He has shared his wisdom with national audiences including the Steve Harvey Show and The Meredith Vieira Show.

Giving

Alex’s Lemonade Stand

“You can get stronger through hardship if you focus on what you’ve gained,” Liz Scott says before a crowd of more than 2,000 who have gathered on the UCLA campus for the annual L.A. Loves Alex’s Lemonade fundraiser. Her voice breaks as she continues, “I often wonder what kind of woman Alex would have become. I know she’d be a wonderful daughter and a loving sister.” As the co-executive director with her husband, Jay, of the Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation, Liz has attended hundreds of these events. Her mission is to save other parents from the wrenching heartache she and Jay experienced when their 8-year-old daughter Alex died from neuroblastoma, a form of pediatric cancer. Alex had been diagnosed two days before her first birthday; when she was 4 she received a stem-cell transplant and hopes were high that she’d beat the odds. “When I get out of the hospital, I want to have a lemonade stand,” she told her parents. “I’m going to give the money to my doctors so they can cure other kids who are sick.” That first lemonade stand raised $2,000. When the treatments stopped working, Alex decided she wanted to raise $1 million before she died. As news of her courage spread, people nationwide held their own lemonade stands and sent Alex the proceeds. She died in August 2004, two months after she met her goal. Liz and Jay continued what Alex had begun. “We had the power to make a difference,” Liz says. “Everything Alex had done in her life was so unselfish, it seemed very selfish to stop.” The foundation has raised more than $120 million and funded 550 research projects. Liz has been able to watch children whose lives were saved by medical breakthroughs grow up and move on to college. “You have to give yourself permission to find meaning and happiness in your life,” Liz says. “I’m learning a new normal and a way to be grateful for what I have— including my three sons—and the work we’re doing with the foundation.” For more information on how to donate or get involved, go to alexslemonade.org.

Woman with open book, her head filling with amazing ideas.

Reading

7 Best Books to Boost Your Brain Health

In the past few decades there has been an explosion of interest in physical fitness. We know that cardio workouts lift our moods and weight-training fends off bone loss. We’ve tried yoga and dedicated ourselves to the elliptical machine. But what about mental fitness? Now that Americans are living longer than ever, researchers, psychiatrists and other doctors are turning their attention to how we can maintain sharp and lucid minds, and also optimize happiness and creativity. Not surprisingly, many of the same practices used for physical fitness are also good for your brain. Each book below provides a slew of science-based tips to keep your brain sharp and your body healthier as you grow older. 1. Hardwiring Happiness By Rick Hanson, Ph.D. Want to have a happier, more peaceful brain? Rick Hanson says we first have to overcome our negativity bias, or how our brains learn more easily from negative experiences than from positive ones. His book explores his “HEAL” method: Have a positive experience, Enrich it, Absorb it, Link it to negative thoughts and feelings to soothe and eventually replace them (OK, that’s a long L). Practice daily and you can change your brain to a more nurturing and happy place, according to the book. 2. Change Your Brain, Change Your Life By Dr. Daniel G. Amen Neuropsychiatrist Daniel Amen offers scientific evidence on how to optimize brain function. The case studies he presents indicate that anxiety, depression, anger and obsessive-compulsive behavior are related to how structures in your brain work, and that you can in fact change how these structures work. His “brain prescriptions” to make those changes include breathing techniques, improvements in diet, meditation, self-hypnosis and writing exercises. 3. Your Creative Brain By Shelley Carson, Ph.D. Harvard psychology professor Shelley Carson, Ph.D., shows how brain-activation states (“brainsets”) influence the way we think, approach problems and perceive the world. Her “CREATES” model comprises seven brain-activation states that she says can enhance your creative brain and mental functioning: Connect, Reason, Envision, Absorb, Transform, Evaluate and Stream. She encourages the reader to use specially designed quizzes, problem-solving techniques and self-tests to tap into what she calls our most important asset, creativity. 4. Boost Your Brain: The New Art and Science Behind Enhanced Brain Performance By Dr. Majid Fotuhi and Christina Breda Antoniades Boost Your Brain offers actionable advice on how to get a “bigger and better brain,” based on more than 25 years of neuroscience research. Find out what foods help build new synapses and what key behaviors you should avoid. Dr. Majid Fotuhi explains that the size of our brains can be increased (due to neuroplasticity) in just a matter of weeks, resulting in improved focus, memory and creativity. To get a bigger brain, he recommends fitness training, stress reduction, meditation, cognitive skills training and improved nutrition. 5. The Brain Warrior’s Way: Ignite Your Energy and Focus, Attack Illness and Aging, Transform Pain into Purpose By Dr. Daniel G. Amen and Tana Amen, RN “The key to victory rests between your ears,” writes psychiatrist and best-selling author Daniel Amen. Fight against the constant bombardment of technology, negative news and a typical American diet that isn’t healthy, he says. While poor choices can lead eventually to disease, the book advises, thoughtful and goal-directed decisions can slow aging, help prevent dementia and improve your health, focus, energy and moods. 6. Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain By Dr. John J. Ratey Exercise is a master key to brain functioning, says Dr. John Matey. Discover the role exercise plays in our mental processes and why it’s the best defense against numerous health conditions and diseases, including depression, addiction and Alzheimer’s disease. Matey’s research includes numerous case studies about how important exercise is to your overall well-being. 7. Eat Complete: The 21 Nutrients that Fuel Brainpower, Boost Weight Loss, and Transform By Dr. Drew Ramsey What you eat is directly connected to the health of your brain, says Drew Ramsey, a psychiatrist. Your brain impacts your mood, health, focus, memory and appetite. By fueling it nutritiously, your brain and body can operate optimally. With 100 recipes, Eat Complete shows readers how to avoid nutritional deficiencies and stimulate growth of new brain cells. Start your day with a cup of Tumeric Cinnamon Hot Chocolate if you want to slow your brain’s aging process, Drew advises. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.

science

Can You Spice Up a Meal by Changing the Music?

When Steve Keller hosted a dinner at the upscale Nashville restaurant Etch earlier this year, he received plenty of comments about his food choices. Some found the food he served almost too spicy. Others found it incredibly sweet. Some were underwhelmed by its flavoring and found it almost bland. But the meals Steve’s guests were served were identical—the only thing that differentiated the dining experiences was the music being piped through each person’s earbuds. It was all part of an experimental research project called Spicy Sounds: A Sensory Experience, designed to provide more clues into how sound affects taste. While we have long accepted the fact that sense of smell can affect the taste of our food, research in the emerging field of neurogastronomy shows the effect that other senses have on how we perceive taste. Neurogastronomy looks at how all of our senses work together to taste the food we eat, and some of the most compelling new research shows just how powerful sound is in shaping that perception. At Steve’s event, diners listened to a soundtrack of either music or white noise, while a control group received no sound at all. The music came in two styles—one designed to evoke mental images of spiciness, and the other, images of sweetness. Before eating, diners were asked to listen to the sounds while gauging how sweet or spicy they thought the food in front of them would be, and then were asked to rate the actual sweetness or spiciness of each dish while they ate it. Tasty beats “I knew that if you’re playing the wrong music it can totally ruin the dining experience, but it had never crossed my mind that music could affect the way your taste buds process food,” says Nashville musician and diner Tiffany Shea. “The idea that music could change your experience with the food so drastically brings a whole new depth to music that I didn’t even know existed. It blew my mind.” And for Steve, that is part of the joy of his research. “I think the big revelation is how music affects not just the taste of the food, but our perception of how it will taste,” says Steve, a Nashville music producer who founded iV, a branding agency that has worked with major companies including BMW, Kraft Foods and television networks to help them connect with customers through sound. “I hadn’t considered that sound would shape perception even before they tasted the food,” he says. “But the way we’re wired, sound reaches the brain 20 to 100 times faster than sight. So before we see something, the sound has already reached the brain, and all the information our senses collect after that is filtered through that sound.” Shanna Strassberg was part of the control group that didn’t listen to music or white noise while eating. Initially, she thought she had missed out on being part of the experience. “I was talking to someone afterwards and said something about how spicy one thing on the plate was, and they said, ‘No, that was sweet.’ That’s when I realized this really is a thing, and that people were having very different experiences with the same food.” Love Music? Listen to our podcast on How to Create the Perfect Happy Playlist The chocolate lab Charles Spence, Ph.D., professor of experimental psychology and head of the Crossmodal Research Laboratory in the department of experimental psychology at Oxford University, is one of the leading researchers on how our senses work together to change perception. His 2010 study published in the journal Attention, Perception & Psychophysics looked at the relationship between music pitch and the taste of food. In one experiment, Charles found that people eating chocolate reported it tasted bitter when listening to low-pitched music, but the same chocolate tasted sweeter to them when they listened to higher-pitched tunes. Steve says research has also shown that white noise can cut the perception of sweetness. Tiffany, who listened to white noise while eating, reinforces that finding, saying that she didn’t find the food sweet or spicy. “I really didn’t think it was on one end of the spectrum or the other, and then that made me wonder what the true taste of the food actually was.” It’s not just food that is affected by sound, of course. Charles and fellow Oxford University researcher Janice Wang have studied the effect that music has on wine and found that the right music can enhance the taste by as much as 15 percent. Flavor saver A study they published last year in the journal Perception showed that participants in a wine-tasting event held at Oxford rated wines as being more acidic when they listened to a high-pitched Debussy piano piece. However, when the music was changed to a melodious Rachmaninoff cello piece, participants thought that the wine tasted fruitier. The academic explanation? The study concluded that our brains work to match sounds with taste, and our ears unconsciously influence our taste buds. It also works before we’ve popped the cork. A study in the Journal of Applied Psychology showed music had a strong influence on the type of wine consumers bought; when French music was played, French wines consistently outsold German wines, but when German music was played, German wines were the top seller—even when customers believed the music had no effect on their choices. Of course, there are many marketing opportunities for such findings; restaurants can use music to sell certain types of food or to increase its appeal. Last year, British Airways introduced an audio menu that matches music to in-flight meals to offset the fact that our ability to taste is reduced by 30 percent when we’re in the air. Tracks are carefully selected to enhance the flavor of each item. But Steve is among those who see the link between music and taste as having positive outcomes for both our mental and physical well-being. “This is about more than how Dunkin’ Donuts can use music to sell more coffee,” he says. “We are starting to see ways that we can use music that haven’t been explored before.” Sonic care In healthcare environments, the connection between sound, taste, smell and appearance is beginning to attract attention. Taking the idea that food is medicine one step further, neurogastronomy researchers are looking at how the different senses can benefit patient care. “Think about someone going through chemotherapy, whose taste senses have been affected, or a diabetic who shouldn’t have sugar—what if we could use sound or aroma to bring back the taste of something that’s been lost? Our senses are important, and by tending to all of them, not just treating the disease, I think we could improve health outcomes as well as patient satisfaction.” Steve says that as research continues uncovering the ways our minds perceive and interpret sound, we’ll see greater use of music as part of a healthy, healing journey. “I get really excited thinking that the day is coming when a doctor will prescribe a playlist instead of just pharmaceuticals.” Read more: What's Your Healing Rhythm? Read more: Find Happiness in Your Headphones Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Self-Care

Make the Best of Your Empty Nest With These Tips

“Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay.” –Dalai Lama My youngest child is heading off to college, and many of my friends are going through the same experience. Because I am a therapist as well as a mom, people ask my advice about how best to handle this tricky transition. It seems most Americans simply haven’t put a lot of thought into what it will be like when their nest becomes suddenly empty. Bittersweet mix of emotions Some of my friends have been downright celebratory about the imminent freedom from parental obligations; others are depressed and heartbroken—they wonder how they will carry on now that their jobs as parents have been taken away. Most parents fall somewhere in-between, with a mix of emotions. (At the negative extreme, some people feel devastated when their kids leave. They have what’s called “empty nest syndrome,” an emotional state in which a person feels depressed, lonely and filled with grief. If you find yourself feeling this badly, if it gets in the way of your normal activities, it is important to reach out for counseling and/or emotional support.) We are raising adults I like to say that we are not raising children, we are raising adults. From the early stages of life we teach our kids to walk, talk, be kind to others and find things that make them happy. We show them how to deal with anger in appropriate ways, to be respectful and so much more. As they become proficient in these areas, we take great pride and continue to teach them skills that will help them thrive and accomplish goals such as getting into college, finding a job, going out on their own and ultimately leaving the nest. All this hard work on our part and theirs culminates in what can be the greatest joy and one of our biggest heartbreaks. Yes, being an empty nester is bittersweet. On one hand we are proud to see our kids launch into the world and excited that we can actually have some fun and get some rest! On the other hand, our jobs as parents have changed and diminished, our houses are going to be quieter and we will worry about them in new and different ways. Read more: Parents: The First Role Models Here are common questions people ask me about the empty nest experience, and a few tips with each. How often should I contact my kids? Even though you will miss them and worry about them, when your kids leave home is the exact time when they may need to have a little space. It really depends on the child and what your relationship with him or her looks like. Try to adjust your interactions with your kids based on what you think they need and not just what you need. Have a conversation about what both of your needs are and figure out what works in terms of how often you will check in, and what form that will take. What are best ways to stay connected? Often kids are not up for talking on the phone, or your timing could be off from what works for them in their new situation. Sending a quick text messages is the best, most immediate way to check in. If you want to send a longer, more involved note, email works well. Send an old-fashioned care package filled with things they love and that will remind them of home. What do I do with myself in this new phase of life? Take time to experience your emotions. Grab a box of tissues and cry on the sofa, or talk to a friend who's been there and can comfort and advise you. Have fun. If you have free time, come up with new activities and hobbies, or pick up an old one. Reconnect with friends or even your spouse! Take a class and catch up on those books you’ve been meaning to read; fill your schedule with things that you enjoy doing. Rest. You worked hard, you raised an adult who is doing what he or she is supposed to be doing: leaving the nest. Take a vacation, go for long walks, sleep in. Plan for your future. Ask yourself what you want out of the next five or 10 years. If you have a partner, include him or her in that conversation. Set goals and get going on the things that will make you happy! Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book, How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, and an editor-at-large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.

Live Happy Tips for a Low-Stress Start to the School Year

Education

3 Tips for a Low-Stress Start to the School Year

The last weeks of summer—before the typical school-time scheduling overload begins—are a good time for families to evaluate what went right during the previous school year, and what could have gone more smoothly. Take a minute to think about those details in order to improve your planning for the year to come. For your first step, make a “Family Mission Statement.” Write down what you want to accomplish this school year, both for your family as a whole and for each person individually, and discuss your top goals. Do you want to spend more time eating dinner together? Does your son want to apply and get accepted to college this year? Would your daughter like to join the swim team? Or do the kids need less scheduling and more free time? These goals will help determine how you address some of the problems below. Problem 1: Chaotic first days of school The first few days are the hardest. Here are my tips for getting back on track after those lazy days of summer. Modify your kids’ schedule during the two weeks before school starts. This means an earlier bedtime as well as an earlier wake-up time. Review and revise your summer technology-use rules. Do they still apply now that school is starting? Create a “charging station” in an area away from the kids’ rooms. (Beginning at a designated time each night, kids bring their devices and plug them in at that area—and screen time is over. Plus, the devices are fully charged and ready for use the next day.) Problem 2: Homework I hear a lot from parents about how difficult it is to get their kids to sit down and finish their homework. Here are a few time-tested tips for getting back into the routine. Make sure others in the house know to be respectful and quiet when someone is doing homework. Create a designated home study area. Gather all materials necessary to complete any type of assignment, and keep those materials in the study area (this will keep a child from having to get up and search for something in the middle of working on an assignment, and since brain research tells us that it can take more than 20 minutes to get back on topic after a distraction, we want to avoid one at all costs). Find a container to hold all the supplies in case the study area is in a space commonly used for other things, such as a kitchen table or den. The container can then be quickly and easily moved when needed. Include a timer with the study materials to easily determine 20-minute study periods and five-minute break periods for getting a snack, using the restroom or quick mental or physical breaks. Problem 3: Extracurricular scheduling Ask yourself the following questions as you organize extracurricular activities for the coming year: Last year, did your kids did have ample time for homework, hanging out with family and friends and extracurricular activities? What were the logistical and financial implications for your family? Is the activity an outgrowth of your child’s passion and desire, or is this something you want for your child for other reasons? How many activities can you reasonably take on? What are the pros and cons of each one? I hope these suggestions will provide a framework for a more realistic and positive start to the school year! Take it one day at a time, and remember: even baby steps taken one after the other will result in a change of course. Good luck! Susie Wolbe, Ed.D., is an experienced educator who writes frequently about mindfulness and positive education. Her most recent book is The Empowered Teacher: Proven Tips for Classroom Success.

How to manage anxiety when the world is in chaos

Practice

5 Tools to Beat Anxiety During Tumultuous Times

If you’ve seen the news lately, it certainly seems like prejudice, murder, terrorism and disasters—both natural and political—are getting the upper hand. Maintaining your peace of mind and an optimistic outlook can be a daunting challenge when the news presents one negative image after another, accompanied by the commentary of an ever-changing roster of very angry people. As a clinician and researcher who specializes in anxiety, I can tell you there is hope—even in these difficult times. You do not have to allow terrible world events to produce chronic worry if you follow these science-based tips. 1. Adopt an optimistic attitude Research has shown that attitude is much more important than circumstance. The important thing is to look for joy in life, even during difficult or uncertain times. Optimism is the attitude that says “good things are going to happen,” and “my efforts mean something.” It is also the belief that good triumphs over evil and that loves prevails. These may sound like sugary truisms, but research shows that people who are slightly overly optimistic have the mental health advantage. Every situation has both a negative and a positive spin. I challenge you to try taking the positive spin and look for the silver lining next time you read or hear bad news instead of imagining the worst-case scenario. 2. Act on that optimism Go further by imagining what you can do to make a situation better and then take action to address that problem. You alone are not going to end terrorism or world hunger, but you can donate to a charity that addresses national or world issues, vote in an election, host a block party for your neighborhood to increase a sense of community and solidarity or volunteer your time to a cause that works to alleviate suffering or create societal change. Taking action reminds you that you are not a powerless victim in a tragic world, but instead that you are an agent of change and someone who lives to create a better future. Gandhi said it well: “Be the change you wish to see.” 3. Look for hope Humans are hard-wired to process fear-related information first (and blow it out of proportion as well). This is what makes it easy for mass media and social media to sell news that focuses on tragedy, disaster and human frailty. You can counter this tendency by seeking out news that reminds you of people’s capacity for greatness and compassion. Don’t just go on a media fast. Seek out news and stories that celebrate or promote compassion, gratitude and good humor. Subscribe to news feeds and blogs that focus on good things that happen in the world and share them with others. Elicit optimism and good humor from others by asking questions such as “What is the funniest thing that happened to you this week?” or “What is the best thing that happened to you today?” Take the time each day to write down at least three things that you are grateful for that happened during the preceding 24 hours. This practice has been proven to help alleviate depression if you do it regularly. Taking the time to be grateful is especially effective when you encounter tragic news because it reminds you of what is good and precious about your life. Get active in your religious or spiritual community. Research shows that when you regularly participate in a religious community, you have the advantage of receiving spiritual comfort and community support. In addition, spiritual practices enhance your ability to find meaning in tragedy and upheaval and feel connected to mankind, which makes us more resilient in the face of hardship. 4. Cultivate compassion Compassion allows you to reverse the angst caused by negative world events, increase positive emotions, increase positive perceptions of others and improve your ability to manage stress. Compassion is so powerful; don’t let it go to waste. Learn to be kind toward yourself and others—even those you might strongly disagree with. The best way to learn to be compassionate is to mindfully meditate upon wholeheartedly loving everyone and to engage in acts of compassion in which you strive to live the golden rule: “Treat others as you wish to be treated.” Compassion also means being kind even when the other person is annoying, fails to treat you well or misunderstands your good intentions. Compassion helps you view the world as your opportunity to express love rather than the place that is likely to harm you and destroy those you love. 5. Embrace uncertainty by living in the present The only moment you really have to live is the present. Worry will misdirect you into feeling as though you are headed for a frightening future. If you want to avoid worry by embracing uncertainty, then you need to learn to slow down, take a breath and take in the full experience of the present moment without judgment. For example, you hear a podcast about a terrorist attack while driving in your car and then you mentally slow down to notice the warmth of the sun on your face, the sound of the traffic outside your car, the solid feel of the steering wheel, the smell of your latte and the tightness in your chest from listening to the news. This simple act allows you to return from the netherworld of your worry into the reality of the present. It allows you to live more fully and consciously instead of becoming preoccupied with worry. You can train yourself to notice that even though the news is bad, there are many good and beautiful things happening in your immediate presence just waiting for you to notice and savor them. Mindful awareness allows you to cultivate a calm curiosity about the full experience of the moment instead of being overwhelmed by the scary information you hear and reacting with alarm. Lastly, remind yourself of the truth: Our planet has survived terrible disasters of both the natural and manmade kind before. The beauty of being human is the ability to forgive, love and carry on despite disaster. Resilient and joyful people are those who embrace uncertainty by choosing to live in the present with hope and compassion for everyone. Listen to our podcast with Dr. Karen Cassiday: Managing Negative Thinking Read more by Dr. Karen Cassiday: 6 Steps to Win the War Against Worry Karen Cassiday, Ph.D., is president of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and a leading expert on the treatment of anxiety. Find out more about Karen here.

Podcast

The Best of Live Happy Now Season 1

In this episode we look back on past interviews from the Live Happy Now podcast with Live Happy CEO and Editorial Director Deborah Heisz. Did your favorite episode make the list? What you'll learn in this podcast: How to unplug from work with Christine Carter The secret to a better night's sleep with Michael Breus, Ph.D. The importance of connection with Barbara Fredrickson How practicing gratitude impacts your happiness with Sonja Lyubomirsky The act of mindfulness with Matt Tenney Happiness lessons that adults can learn from children with Dr. Edward Hallowell How to never be too busy again with Neil Pasricha