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Nine Signs You May Be a Positive Deviant

It’s easy to spot the office cynic, but can you recognize a positive deviant when you see one? More than a decade ago Margaret and our University of Pennsylvania Master of Applied Positive Psychology colleague Dana Arakawa conducted a research study to see if there was a connection between manager optimism and team performance. Guess what?There is! Negativity Bias It’s a lot easier to find fault and criticize. Psychologists call this negativity bias. It takes practice and courage to be positive when you are surrounded by people who are constantly focusing on what’s wrong. How do you know if you’re a positive deviant? Here are nine clues we have found in coaching hundreds of leaders. You know you’re a positive deviant when you: 1. Say what’s right about a new idea after a co-worker shoots it down, rather than remaining silent. 2. Speak up when you hear someone speaking down to another. 3. Interrupt a colleague who is ruminating over a mistake and tell her to celebrate her mistake because she learned something new. 4. Don’t assume when a friend loses his job that it’s a bad thing. 5. Spend more time giving kudos than criticism. 6. Take time off from work to become even more productive. 7. Focus more on your strengths than your weaknesses. 8. Listen to your intuition and hire the employee with the right attitude rather than the right skill set. 9. Ask people what they aspire to be, not just what they want to do. We’ve only scratched the surface Let’s keep adding to this list. What comes to mind when you hear the term positive deviant? Please visit Live Happy and Profit from the Positive on Facebook to share your ideas!

Practice

Be a Positive Coach

If you have played any sport in your life, you have most likely witnessed a red-faced coach hurling angry, saliva-laden directives (and sometimes even chairs) from the sidelines. Cue Bobby Knight. But what if a positive approach rather than a negative and intimidating tone could get more out of the athlete? Matthew Scholes, an advocate of using the tenets of positive psychology in youth sports, is using science-based research to build a better coaching system within youth sports in Australia. He has been researching, developing and implementing positive sports coaching with schools and professional sports teams in Australia and New Zealand since 2011. The idea behind positive sports coaching is to use positive feedback and praise that simultaneously improves athletic performance and boosts mental well-being. This approach will not only benefit the athlete, but the coach, too, leaving both mentally prepared for the stress of competitive sports. A Different Kind of Coaching “Positive Sports Coaching isn’t about just saying everything is good,” Matthew says. “It is about specific and real feedback that is balanced and focuses on developing the athlete’s strengths as well as their weaknesses. Coaches are encouraged to keep a record of specific things the young athletes do well and feed this back to the athletes.” For example, Billy’s soccer coach, instead of just yelling, “great play!” on the field, follows up with an explanation and further encouragement. “Billy, I noticed your excellent on-the-spot decision-making to pass to Jeff, who had a shot at scoring when you didn’t. It’s that kind of big-picture awareness and leadership that will help our team rise to the top in the tournament next week.” Part of Matthew’s work is explaining to coaches how much their words and actions matter. In some cases, coaches may be the most influential adult figure in a young person’s life, Matthew explains. With our built-in negativity bias, it is easy for coaches to focus on the negative aspects, such as a player missing a catch or a goal. Negativity carries more weight than positivity, leaving coaches blinded to all the good things that are happening. For an impressionable young athlete who hasn’t fully developed his emotional intelligence, the negative feedback can have a powerful and lasting impact and can send the wrong message. Matthew believes that when coaches focus on strengths instead of weaknesses, they are rewiring their brains to spot the good. Making Real Impact In a recent study using a positive intervention of only focusing on strengths conducted at the Bunbury Cathedral Grammar School in Southwest Australia, researchers found an increase in athlete engagement, greater athlete resilience and a better understanding of athletes’ abilities from the coaches. Some feedback from coaches included a noticeable improvement, especially with the weaker players, and perseverance in situations that would have previously resulted in failure. From that same study, Matthew also saw girls particularly benefited in the area of negative affect, or poor self-concept. It is his theory that girls have to endure more negative messages from the outside world than boys. For example, women are still underrepresented in sports and often face objectification over talent. When the girls experienced coaching on their strengths, they excelled with more confidence in how they view themselves. The Whole System Model In order for it all to work, there must be a whole system approach, or what David Cooperrider, Ph.D., refers to as an appreciative inquiry approach. According to Matthew, this must include not only the coaches and the students, but schools and parents as well to ensure positive outcomes and thriving individuals. “I am confident that coaching young people in a manner that is positive and developmental has significant benefits to the individual athlete—social, mental health and sporting performance—the coach (team performance, well-being and confidence) and to society with sport having the opportunity to impact the well-being of the next generation of young people.” Positive results have been preliminary so far, but Matthew hopes that the continued use of positive sports coaching will further lead to better grades, improved health and stronger relationships. He is expected to release more results at the 2019 International Positive Psychology Association’s Sixth World Congress.

relationships

How to Be Compassionate Toward Difficult People

I am often asked the following question: “I want to be compassionate and kind, but how do I do that when I’m confronted with ingratitude, bad faith, hostility and ill will? How do I feel altruism for the ruthless barbarians of ISIS?” In the Buddhist teachings, we are often given the advice not to inwardly own the wrongs that have been done to us. There is the story about someone who insulted the Buddha many times. The Buddha finally asked him, “If someone gives you a gift and you refuse it, who in the end is the owner of the gift?” A little disconcerted, the man replied that it’s the person who is trying to give the gift. And the Buddha concluded, “Your insults—I don’t accept them, thus they remain yours.” Dealing with ingrates, boors and nasty people, it seems to me we have everything to gain by maintaining a compassionate attitude. By remaining calm, courteous and open to the other, in the best-case scenario, I will disarm their hostility. And if they don’t change their attitude, I will have at least kept my dignity and my inner peace. If I get into a confrontation, I will myself commit the faults that I deplore in the other. The usual pattern in confrontation is escalation. You keep shouting louder and louder, I reply shout for shout, the tone worsens, and the next thing you know, we’re moving in the direction of violence. If we fight hate with hate, the problem will never end. It Is Possible to Be Compassionate Toward Others Without Conditions • Don’t be frightened by the practice of unconditional altruism and say that it is beyond your reach. Don’t ever think, “The suffering of others is none of my business.” • Don’t blame yourself for not doing what is beyond your strength, but do reproach yourself for turning away when you can do something. • No matter what level we start from, kindness and compassion can be cultivated just like any other physical or mental aptitudes. • We should make use of our natural ability to be compassionate toward those near us as a starting point for extending our compassion beyond our family and those we love. Excerpted from In Search of Wisdom: A Monk, a Philosopher, and a Psychiatrist on What Matters Most, by Matthieu Ricard, Christophe André and Alexandre Jollien. Sounds True, June 2018. Reprinted with permission.

Lifestyle

The Singing Life

Mezzo-soprano Michelle DeYoung has traversed the globe fulfilling two of her life passions, world travel and entertaining audiences on the grandest stages. As a classical and opera singer, she has performed in some of the finest opera houses and concert halls in the world, including Metropolitan Opera, Lyric Opera of Chicago, Staatsoper Berlin and the Opera National de Paris. The multi-Grammy Award winner will often appear with the New York Philharmonic, The Met Orchestra in Carnegie Hall and the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. When she is not off in a faraway land singing Verdi or Wagner, she likes to tend to her poodle Tibbett and laughs with her husband. What are you working on? I have so many things to be thankful for, and lots of exciting upcoming ventures...one being a tour with the Philharmonia Orchestra of London with Esa-Pekka Salonen, singing the Immolation Scene of Richard Wagner’s Götterdämmerung, in Ravello, Italy; Athens, Greece; and Granada, Spain. What are you passionate about? I am passionate about my 50-pound poodle Tibbett! I am passionate about singing and music. I love hiking and nature. I love good food and good wine. I love to travel. I love to laugh. How do you make others close to you happy? I try to be very loving and honest with them. I find people are often not honest anymore, and I don’t think it’s doing any of us any good. Honesty from a trusted friend or loved one is priceless. When is the last time you laughed out loud? I love to laugh and try to do it every day. The last time I laughed out loud was today at something my husband said. What is your “go to” book, movie or TV show that lifts your mood? Live Happy magazine is one thing that lifts my mood. Also, I love movies like Notting Hill or Bridget Jones’s Diary...but The Vicar of Dibley always makes me laugh out loud.

Reading

Gifts for Book-Loving Dads

With Father’s Day just around the corner, allow us to do the book shopping for you. There are so many joyful and innovative new titles out there, so ditch the golf gear and head to your local bookstore for this year’s gift. We promise he will love each and every one of these! 1. Dad’s cooking? Why not make something with tater tots? Tots! 50 Tot-ally Awesome Recipes from Totchos to Sweet Po-Tot-O Pie by Dan Whalen A tater tot themed cookbook? Count your dad in. Filled with great ideas like Tots Poutine and Mac ‘n’ Tot ‘n’ Cheese, no one in the family will object to anything dad creates using Dan’s guidance. Most of the recipes use frozen store-bought tots, but if the dad in your life is comfy in the kitchen, no worries. Tots! also includes directions for making these favorite frozen potato treats from scratch. 2. Hard lessons learned are often the most important ones. The $20,000 T-Shirt: Life Lessons (and Fart Stories) from the Greatest Father the World Has Ever Known by Devon Weaver When Devon writes that this book was originally meant to be an advice book for his daughter and son because his relationship with his own father was fraught, it’s impossible to stop your eyes from welling up. Keep reading and you’ll find life lessons that every single father will relate to in this sweet—and brutally honest—memoir/advice book. 3. We can all find the funny in our daily lives. Everybody is Awful (Except You!) by Jim Florentine For the dad with a killer sense of humor, enter Everybody is Awful, penned by a comedian, podcaster and actor who appeared most recently on Amy Schumer’s hit film Trainwreck. This hilarious book covers everything from prank calls to social media madness while telling Jim’s story of his early days as a stand-up comedian. The cultural commentary in this hardcover is so relatable your dad won’t be able to put it down. 4. A coffee-table book about the awesomeness of dads. The Greatness of Dads by Kirsten Matthew Your dad will proudly display this tome on the coffee table, filled with compelling dad-themed quotes from such prominent figures as Nelson Mandela and F. Scott Fitzgerald. The book also features an open letter from Barack Obama to his daughters as well as poems, literary excerpts and pop-culture references collected by the author. It’s the best card you can give your dad! 5. The Greatest’s daughter shares insights on her legendary dad. Ali on Ali: Why He Said What He Said When He Said It by Hana Ali There’s something so heartwarming about a daughter writing about her dad. In this case, Muhammad Ali’s daughter, Hana, devotes this book to an explanation of the origins of the prizefighter’s most powerful quotes such as “Float like a butterfly sting like a bee!” Accompanied by more than 80 snapshots that span the entire life of the Greatest of All Time, we learn about Muhammad but also get a sense of his bond with his daughter. And isn’t that what Father’s Day is all about? 6. Coaches are a lot like dads. Most Valuable Dad: Inspiring Words on Fatherhood from Sports Superstars by Tom Limbert In this collection of inspiring words on fatherhood from such sports superstars as Tom Brady and Stephen Curry and organized by such topics as Empathy, Patience, Optimism and Character, Tom keys into the way dads are the ultimate to their kids. Give this book to the dad in your life and you’ll watch him smile as he reads more about his favorite sports figures.

Podcast

Positive Education Changes Lives With Emily Larson

Emily Larson is a researcher, instructor and practitioner in the fields of education and public policy. As director for the International Positive Education Network (IPEN), which was formed by Martin Seligman, Angela Duckworth and Sir Anthony Seldon, Emily is part of a movement that is turning the academic research surrounding positive psychology into practical lesson plans and interventions for educators and students. In this episode, Emily talks with Live Happy CEO and IPEN Advisory Board member Deborah K. Heisz about how positive education is changing the way students learn and tells listeners about the upcoming World Positive Education Accelerator (WPEA). What you'll learn in this episode: Why positive education is so important in today's world. How positive education changes the lives of students. What the World Positive Education Accelerator is and how you can get involved. Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Register for the WPEA and receive 15% with code WPEAHAPPY. Can’t attend the full conference? Single Day Tickets are available. Follow the event with #WeFlourish and find them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

Self-Care

The Unloneliness of the Long-Distance Runner

The common image of runners is captured in the title of Alan Sillitoe’s short story “The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner.” In this view, runners are solitary figures who neither need nor want company. Certainly many runners, including me, cherish the chance running offers to spend time alone with our thoughts. But, like the observation that runners never smile, the idea that being a runner means being lonely is mostly made by those who don’t run. High-quality camaraderie is more the norm, thanks to group runs, pre- and post-work meetups with one or two friends, road races and other bond-producing activities that are part of the fabric of running. You want lonely? Spend most of your waking hours flitting among social media feeds and working a job where more than small talk is rare. The relationship of loneliness to mental-health issues, especially depression, is well established. The American Psychological Association lists social isolation as a risk factor for depression. Loneliness and depression can feed off each other, as a lack of energy or interest in activities keeps you homebound. Excusing yourself from social activities seems easier than mounting the strength to smile and chat while you’re miserable inside. Enter Running As I said, it comes with a built-in way to create and strengthen just the sort of relationships that improve mental health. If, like me, you took up the sport as part of a school team, regularly training with others has been part of your running life since day one. If you’re an adult-onset runner, you’ve probably nonetheless found benefit in having occasional company, especially for harder or longer workouts. On any given day, runs with others provide a mood boost. “Running is often my favorite social hour,” says Heather Johnson, of South Portland, Maine, who runs in part to manage anxiety. One of Heather’s training partners, Kristin Barry, runs to manage depression and says, “Socializing with friends while running makes me feel more connected and happier in general.” Running with others often results in conversations that are more open and substantive than the norm in our sedentary hours. “Running with others has served as a way to bring my own struggles and achievements to others to gain alternative perspectives,” Heather says. “Over the years, social and group runs have given me new ways to approach parenting, working with others, and how to be a better overall person. Buddy System What’s key here is that these more intimate conversations happen while we’re doing something that creates a connection. You can learn more about a person in the space of a few runs together than in six months of having adjoining cubicles. The shared effort of conquering hills or navigating trails builds a bond that’s stronger than if we were in a book club or cooking class together. Combine the talk and the work, and you can build deep friendships in a surprisingly short time. Running’s delivery mechanism for a regular supply of new friends is a profound enough mental-health aid. In my 50s, I have an easy way to continue to broaden my pool of relationships at a time when many of my contemporaries are seeing their social circles shrink. Some running partners remain primarily that; when we encounter each other in what I call civilian life, we often do a double-take because of being unaccustomed to seeing each other in street clothes. Some running partners blossom into all-hours friends who socialize while barely talking about running. The Spice of Life But there’s more to it than just numbers. As Heather says, “running has given me the opportunity to connect with so many different people.” In the past year, I’ve run with people in their 20s and people in their 70s, and all ages between. Some are women, some are men. Some are married, some divorced, some never married. Some have grown children, some are childless, some have infants. Some began running as teens, some started recently. We grew up in different times and different places and spend our days doing different work. Our lives are so much richer for the varied friendships we continually develop through running. How else would it be the case that the best friend I’ve made in the past decade is a mother of two who was born after I started running? How many depressed men my age have a way to nurture such relationships in just one or two hours a week? These too-brief in-person encounters don’t exist in a vacuum. They spur actions and thoughts that improve the time when we’re apart. Running partners constantly check in on each other: How did that workout go? Is your leg feeling better? Want to run long this weekend? Was it crazy cold this morning, or what? Running provides an easy and obvious reason to stay in regular contact. As on the run, the basic questions tend to lead to reports on nonrunning aspects of our lives, making our connections to one another that much stronger. Even the most basic planning to run with others helps. Knowing on a Wednesday that Saturday morning will include 90 minutes of fellowship brightens the week. I used to plan to run with others primarily as a means to a racing goal. Now it’s a worthwhile goal in itself.

Self-Care

TV Host Steve Harvey Gives Back Through Youth Foundation

In honor of Father’s Day, Live Happy’s June Happy Act of the month is to support families. One of the organizations we admire is the Steve and Marjorie Harvey Foundation (harveyfoundation.com) that provides mentorship and training to young people and single mothers. Actor, producer and TV host Steve Harvey shares how his organization’s life-changing programming is key to strengthening families everywhere. Live Happy: What inspired you to create the Steve and Marjorie Harvey Foundation and how long has it been in operation? Steve Harvey: The inspiration was my father. My father passed when I was 43 years old. I was thinking about him and what all he meant to me. If I didn’t have him, I never could’ve gotten here. So, I thought of all the young boys and how difficult it must be without their fathers, and I thought, “Hey, I want to do something about that.” My foundation started about 18 years ago in 2000. How does community mentoring, and the support of positive role models, transform young people? Well, a young boy without a male role model is like an explorer without a map. A young boy is going to be some type of man; it’s the model that you put in front of him that he will most likely duplicate. So, if you put a bad man in front of him he’ll duplicate that. If you put a good man in front of him he’ll duplicate that, so that’s how it works. It’s so important because manhood is like a minefield, you gotta have somebody that’s gone through it to help guide you through the levels of manhood because being a man is very difficult. It’s too hard to figure out on your own. Who gets the most out of these mentoring relationships? It’s life-changing for the mentees and the mentors. A lot of mentors get a lot out of it. Man, they see a lot of themselves in some of these young boys. A lot of my mentors grew up without fathers, and they want to make sure they provide mentorship for young boys who don’t have it. The fact that a young boy now has a mentor, somebody he can call, text, email, ask a question with a male viewpoint—it’s immeasurable. I get feedback from boys after the camp when I see them graduate from college, when I see them join the military, when I see them with kids now, they come back and say, “Mr. Harvey you changed my life.” They come back as junior counselors. I had one kid that was a gangbanger, just a tough kid, we worked with him and worked with him. He graduated from North Carolina State, and he’s an engineer now. So many stories are like that, but you can’t measure the presence of a man in a boy’s life—it’s immeasurable. Tell us more about your camps, including the one you’re hosting this month in Atlanta. How can people learn about upcoming camps or volunteer opportunities? Well you have to go to the website (harveyfoundation.com), but in this camp we cover two things. We cover the principles of manhood and dream building. Those are two critical components. If I can get young men to dream, dream outside their present environment, dream outside of these neighborhoods that they’re in and see themselves somewhere else, it gives them something to shoot for. It’s the dream—your dream is actually more important than your education because if you have a big enough dream, your dream will spur you to get an education. Teaching a kid that it’s OK to dream, that it’s OK to want something spectacular is paramount. The other most important thing is the principles of manhood. Real men go to church, real men honor God, real men respect the law, real men respect women, real men take care of their children, real men are productive citizens, real men go to work every day. We gotta get that drummed into their heads, because too many times videos and social media are guiding our young men the wrong way to what manhood really is. What have been some of the most encouraging results? The best part is that the system works. The results are the best part—the flat-out positive results from all these young men. I have boys I’ve been mentoring personally sending me graduation pictures, wearing caps and gowns. Cats that were in 9th grade with no grades wanting to drop out are now saying, “I’m graduating;” “Mr. Harvey, this is my son and I’m taking care of him;” “Mr. Harvey, I got a job;” “Mr. Harvey, I’m in the military;” “Mr. Harvey, I’m in college now,” that’s what makes it worth it. On a more personal side, what makes you happy? I love peace of mind. Peace of mind make me happy. If I can find moments in the month where I can sit down and clear my head, maybe sit on a golf cart on the golf course and look for my golf ball that I hit in the bushes somewhere. If I can get out on the water or on the beach, that makes me happy. Watching my children figure it out and succeed makes me happy. Being a great provider makes me happy…and a Cuban cigar makes me happy. For more information or to donate or volunteer, go to harveyfoundation.com.

Resources

10 Podcasts to Help You Find Happiness

Audio is one of the oldest forms of media around, and yet podcasts are so hot that seemingly everyone is starting his or her own. They cover every topic imaginable, and it turns out we love to listen and learn. Podcasts can help us keep up with the news, lose ourselves in an imaginative story or just make our commute go by a lot faster. Below are 10 podcasts in the fields of positive psychology, mindfulness, happiness and self-help that will not only brighten your day, they will also add to your knowledge of how to become an authentically happier person. The Science of Happiness This excellent recent addition to the podcast happiness space comes from the Greater Good Science Center, which is affiliated with the University of California at Berkeley (Go Bears!). Heavy on the science of happiness and positive psychology, the show features interviews with professors and authors such as Rick Hanson, Srikumar Rao and Jonathan Haidt. Professional production adds to the compelling storytelling. Each episode runs about 20 minutes. 10% Happier with Dan Harris Network news anchor Dan Harris has become an unlikely but extremely effective evangelist for meditation and its benefits. With two best-selling books under his belt, Dan now produces this weekly podcast on the subject, which includes in-depth interviews with mindfulness heavy hitters such as (sometime collaborator) Sharon Salzberg and former Google “Jolly Good Fellow” Chade-Meng Tan. Dan has made it his mission to spread meditation to the mainstream, and he is absolutely succeeding! Each episode runs 50 to 60 minutes. Live Happy Now Live Happy’s own uplifting podcast features insightful interviews with experts in psychology and the science of happiness. Past guests have included psychiatrist and mood-food expert Dr. Drew Ramsey; author M.J. Ryan, one of the creators of the Random Acts of Kindness series; work/happiness expert Shawn Achor; and many others. The tone is friendly and accessible—a perfect way to start your day, lighten your commute and stay informed. Each episode runs about 30 minutes. The Flourishing Center Podcast The Flourishing Center, which offers a Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology, highlights positive psychology research in its podcast. It covers everything from tips on overcoming rumination to practicing self-forgiveness. Each episode features three sections: Science Says, which summarizes recent research; Life Hack, which explains how to incorporate positive psychology tenets into your life; and Practitioner’s Corner, which highlights an individual practicing positive psychology. Each episode runs 30 minutes. Happier with Gretchen Rubin Best-selling author of The Happiness Project and several other books, Gretchen Rubin was an early convert to the podcasting medium. She and her screenwriter sister Elizabeth seem to have a lot of fun chatting and ribbing each other as they discuss various topics of interest, such as how to maintain healthy habits, The Four Tendencies (another one of Gretchen’s books), making time to read, family relationships and other issues that affect our everyday lives. The tone is breezy and casual, and occasionally the sisters will bring in a special guest. Each episode runs about 30 minutes. Happiness Matters Christine Carter, author of The Sweet Spot and Raising Happiness, hosts this parenting-focused podcast along with pediatric nurse Rona Renner. The show, a gabfest-style discussion between the hosts, focuses on how to raise a happy family and have harmonious relationships in the 21st century. Hot topics include “The Art of Saying No,” “Is Yelling the New Spanking?” and “Fostering Creativity in Kids.” Weekly episodes are short and sweet, running just 10 minutes. By the Book In each episode of By the Book, podcast personality Kristen Meinzer and comedian Jolenta Greenberg—two smart, funny Brooklynistas with attitude—choose a different self-help book to live by for two weeks and then report back with their findings. The show is warm, insightful and a great way to get the lowdown on these best-selling (but sometimes repetitive) books so you don’t have to read them all yourself. It’s like getting self-help Cliffs Notes, summarized by your hilarious best friends. Each episode runs approximately 45 minutes and many are followed up with a separate epilogue. The Action for Happiness Podcast Action for Happiness is an international initiative launched by the Dalai Lama. The podcast features interviews with luminaries mainly in the realm of mindfulness and meditation, such as Jon Kabat-Zinn, Daniel Goleman and many others. Listen to substantive discussions of meditation in schools, how meditation can change the world and similar subjects. The sound quality could be better. Each episode runs about 40 minutes. Good Life Project The Good Life Project includes an “intentional community” that puts on mindful get-togethers in real life. In addition, they host this twice-weekly interview show with thought leaders in the happiness, creativity and personal development spaces. Catch up with authors and personalities like Elizabeth Gilbert, Tim Ferriss, Brené Brown and many others. Good production and a lively pace keep things moving along. Each episode runs about 45 minutes. Adventures in Happiness New York Times best-selling author Jessica Ortner is an ebullient guide to happiness and fulfillment through “tapping.” But in addition to the mindfulness practice of tapping, she also covers a wide swath of lifestyle subjects from spring cleaning and feng shui to more serious topics such as depression and anxiety. Guests stop by to chat and lend their expertise. Each episode runs about 45 minutes.

Resources

Family Focus in June

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! On the 20th of each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we'll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! June’s theme is family. Positive relationships, especially with those we’re closest to, are one of the five key elements of Martin Seligman, Ph.D.’s, PERMA theory of well-being. Our June 20 Happy Act is to help families thrive. This month, we are featuring the Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation, a mentoring program for at-risk youth and single women, and volunteering at The Stewpot, an organization that supports families experiencing homelessness. 3 Steps on How to Prepare for a Happy Act: Research what charitable opportunities are near you. Contact the organization and discuss how you can help. Plan a time to go volunteer and/or determine what you can donate. Learn more: Develop family strengths. Common ways to do that are through nurturing relationships, establishing routines, adapting to challenges and connecting to communities. Tell family stories. Family narratives can help kids forge their own identities in the world and weave together generations. Summer is here; enjoy! 33 ideas of what to read, do, watch and listen to for summer togetherness. Play games! From Parcheesi to Ping-Pong, tiddlywinks to tag, games teach sportsmanship, communication and other social skills. Create a happiness board. Dream about your next vacation, focus on goals, plan volunteer outings as a family with a Family Happiness Board. Five Tips to Increase Family Bliss: Unplug. Unless you’re expecting an urgent message, stash your phone and tablet and focus on your family when you’re together. Divide and conquer. If siblings aren’t getting along, give the relationship some space and spend an afternoon on separate activities to help give everyone a break from a bickering patch. Maintain family routines. For special traditions like family meals, game nights or bedtime reading routines, keep everyone together and at ease by providing a predictable framework and making everyone feel welcome. Focus on what’s going right. Family togetherness can translate into too much of a focus on messy rooms, uncleared dishes or curfews violated. Don’t forget to point out the daily wins and acts of kindness that you’d like to see more of. Greet with a hug and part with a kiss. Huggingproduces happy neurochemicals such as endorphins, oxytocin and serotonin. Take the time to give your family a warm hello and goodbye even if you are in a hurry. Additional Resources: Steve and Marjorie Harvey Foundation The Stewpot March of Dimes Boys and Girls Clubs of America Big Brothers Big Sisters

Nine Signs You May Be a Positive Deviant

Be a Positive Coach

How to Be Compassionate Toward Difficult People

The Singing Life

Gifts for Book-Loving Dads

Positive Education Changes Lives With Emily Larson

The Unloneliness of the Long-Distance Runner

TV Host Steve Harvey Gives Back Through Youth Foundation

10 Podcasts to Help You Find Happiness

Family Focus in June

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