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Beat the Energy Crisis

On a typical day, Nancy Giammarco manages to piece together about six hours of sleep. Between caring for her bedridden mother during the day and running sound at a Dallas live music venue six nights a week, she doesn’t remember the last time she’s enjoyed a good night’s sleep. “I try to get some sleep on Saturday, but I have dogs to care for and a lawn to mow and housework. To me, a vacation would be seven or eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.” Nancy’s social life is mostly conducted online these days, and she stays plugged in 24/7 to stay in touch with her sister and the nurses and respiratory therapists helping with her mother’s care. “I can’t afford to be out of touch,” she says. As a result, she is perpetually exhausted. On a good day, her energy level peaks at five out of 10 points, she says. And while Nancy’s situation may be extreme, she’s not alone. Experts say that most of us are having—or heading toward—our own personal energy crisis. We sleep too little, work too much and fail to give ourselves the time we need to relax and recharge. “It’s all about energy,” says Christine Porath, Ph.D., associate professor at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business. “It really is the key to everything. You can’t buy more time, so if you can increase your energy, it will not only improve your performance at work, but your health and well-being, too.” Implementing new strategies can help boost energy, restore good health and improve productivity in every area of our lives, says Christine, who studies how to create a thriving workplace environment. And what is true for the workplace is true for the homefront, too. “If you’re fueled with energy, your relationships at work and at home are bound to be better. You bring a more mindful, focused, engaged self into these relationships.” That means learning to regulate and renew your personal energy reserves. In order to live our lives to the fullest and to truly enjoy and appreciate the moments as they occur, we need less stress and more bliss. But today’s “always on” world seems to be fighting that at every turn. Emails and texts invade our downtime, and many of us never fully unplug. Energy Vampires “The stressful nature of life has left people feeling depleted,” Christine says. “They lack energy. In my research, I see a high correlation between energy and happiness and life satisfaction.” One of the biggest energy drains is that feeling of not being able to unplug. Working in the evenings and on weekends, constantly checking—and answering—texts and emails, and spending not-so-quality time with our laptops, tablets and smartphones all adds up to one giant, emotional, electronic overload. Pulling the plug on work when you leave the office, and spending time on a hobby you enjoy instead of dragging work home with you can have a powerful effect. “Disconnecting and recharging is a great way to refuel,” she says. “You build your energy resources this way and then go back to work, or come home, stronger and more effective.” Being able to switch off at a set time can generate a feeling of regaining control, and it allows you to relax and turn your attention to more important things like your family, your friends and yourself. Recharge, Refuel, Reboot According to The Energy Project, a consulting firm dedicated to creating healthier and happier workplaces, nearly 75 percent of employees worldwide are experiencing a personal energy crisis. They’re paying for it at work, with lowered productivity, and at home, with less engagement. Relationships are compromised (or sacrificed entirely), and life satisfaction bottoms out. “The vast majority of employees feel depleted, diminished, disenfranchised, demoralized and disengaged,” wrote CEO Tony Schwartz in The Human Era @ Work, a study The Energy Project conducted with Harvard Business Review. “And it’s getting worse.” But we can turn it around, Tony explains. Even small steps, like taking a break, has a measurable effect. Tony’s study found that employees who took even a brief break every 90 minutes boosted their ability to focus by nearly 30 percent and improved their creativity by 40 percent. And doing things you enjoy in your spare time will carry over to your day-to-day duties. “Thriving outside of work can bring more energy to the workplace, and vice versa,” Christine says, adding that people who thrive are more enjoyable to be around, and everyone benefits. The Energy Project identifies four aspects of our lives that affect our energy: physical (health), emotional (happiness), mental (focus) and spiritual (purpose). The physical aspect is considered most important; it is the foundation of all energy and includes proper sleep, fitness, nutrition and time during the day to rest or recharge. If you’re feeling a little low on energy, here are Christine Porath’s recommendations for improving in each area: Physical. Get on a regular sleep schedule and work in at least 30 minutes of exercise four times a week. Emotional. Invest in relationships that are enriching and energizing; these may be existing relationships that have been pushed to one side or could be new relationships. Mental. Take breaks from your email and texts. That might mean going for a walk in nature (and leaving the phone behind) and allowing time for your mind to wander. Spiritual: Keep a gratitude journal; it will refocus your attention on the positives in your life. And find a practice—whether it’s prayer, meditation, yoga, etc.—that helps you connect to something greater than yourself.
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Hands holding us dollar bills and small money pouch.

Let Go of Your Negative Beliefs About Money

One of my clients held the belief that money wouldn’t stay with her. Even though she made good money, she could not keep it. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. We manifest what we believe in life. However, most of us aren’t even aware of the many negative subconscious beliefs that we’ve been operating under for years. I will share with you many of the negative and positive beliefs that have been encoded in our blueprints and passed down from generation to generation. As you go over these negative beliefs, I invite you to examine which ones you may hold—in fact, you may even shout out, as some of my clients do: “This one! That is exactly what I believe!” Let’s start with negative beliefs. Money is bad. A lot of people have a negative view of money. At the very least, they feel they have to be cautious when they deal with money. Whatever you do, you have to be careful. Money can be a bad thing. Money disappears fast. When you need money most, you cannot find it. It quickly disappears. Right after it comes into your life, it will go fast! In Japanese, we used to call it oashi, which means “feet.” Money seems to walk quickly away from you. I guess we can all relate a little to this one! Money hurts people. This is also a common belief. Money, in the literal sense, cannot hurt people. However, we may feel hurt because money triggers some pain in us: sometimes it triggers our lack of self-worth, sometimes our past relationship issues. Sometimes people do use money as a weapon. They use it to attack others or buy things that can cause harm to people. Money is scary. When we think that money can accomplish anything, money seems bigger than what it is. We know we can get hurt by money. That is why we begin to be afraid of money. We are afraid of many things. But money by itself is not scary. Money creates trouble. If you have a bad memory about money, you may feel this way. But money doesn’t create trouble; we do. We create trouble when we break promises or contracts, withhold money out of greed, miss payments, or don’t use it in a sincere way. Money invites jealousy. We are afraid of negative attention in general. Having a lot of money can cause that. So if you feel hesitant about having a lot of money for this reason, that is understandable too. Now here are some positive beliefs about money: Money supports people. Of course, money can support people by enabling them to make a living, helping them learn new things, and providing them with security and all the necessities required to live. Money makes people happy. As I mentioned in previous sections, money does elicit positive emotions as well. You can in fact feel happy about money even if you have only a little of it. When given or received with happy energy, money can make someone feel good. Even a postcard can make someone feel happy. Money helps realize dreams. This is a good one too. People have all kinds of dreams, and sometimes money helps to fund them. They can be as expensive as a trip to Mars or they can cost very little. Money bonds people. If you spend money wisely, you can help create better relationships. For example, you can use money to plan a family trip and make happy memories that will last a lifetime. You can use money to make all kinds of fun arrangements that bring you closer to your family and friends. Sometimes I use my money to treat young students to lunch. I’ll invite twenty or thirty together and we’ll talk and laugh. Money warms people’s hearts. You can send flowers to sick friends. You can send money to foster care facilities. A few years ago, there was an anonymous donation of school back- packs to a local orphanage here in Japan. The sender of the gift called him- or herself “Tigermask,” which is the name of a famous cartoon character in Japan. After news of the donation was broadcast on TV, hundreds of similar donations started to arrive not only at the orphanage but at nursing homes and other places that needed similar support. That movement inspired everyone and gave them a warm feeling. From Happy Money by Ken Honda. Copyright 2019 by Ken Honda. Excerpted by permission of Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster.
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Members Of Female High School Soccer Team

Beyond Body Image

I’ll never forget the day that my self-confidence about my body plummeted to the ground, only to be restored more than a decade later, long after the damage was done. “The vanilla milkshake goes to the heavy one,” my father noted to the Howard Johnson’s waitress who was taking orders from our family, including my crestfallen, 8-year-old self. “Heavy?” I looked at my father with surprise and hurt as he continued with the table’s lunch order, clearly not applying that dreaded word to my older sister or my mother, the two other females at the table. Having the lowest possible number on the scale was most women’s goal at the time, but until that pivotal moment in my life, weight had been nothing more than what the doctor wrote down at my annual physical, particularly because I didn’t have a weight problem by any conventional standards. At age 14, my peers at my private girl’s school in Washington, D.C., told me that I could throw up all of my food after meals and never pay the price of weight gain. Few people knew enough to call it bulimia, but that’s what it was, and it became my secret self-destructive lover for the next eight years. Although I maintained a public façade of health, bulimia took my personality, athleticism and joy hostage until I started to recover in 1984, a recovery I have successfully maintained for more than 30 years. My two adult sons and adult daughter have disliked their bodies at one time or another, partly because of how society still dictates that shape equals success and happiness, and partly because they inherited a genetic legacy of addictive and/or perfectionist traits from both parents. None live with the tyranny of an eating disorder and haven’t suffered in the ways I did, so I’d like to share a few tips that can help people raise children with better chances of having positive body images in a world that still bombards young adults from every direction with images and statements that continue to judge their physical appearances. Praise who they are, not what they weigh: For most of my life, my parents commented on whether or not I met their criteria for being the right weight. One awful night in high school, they decided that I was so heavy that I had to weigh myself in front of them. I’ll never forget my fury and shame as I climbed onto the scale and the number went higher than what my mother or older sister weighed, but landed on a number certainly not inappropriate for my height of nearly 5 feet 11 inches. If I had heard more praise for my success as an athlete, or my dedication to academics, or that I was more than a number on a scale, it would have gone a long way toward helping me learn how to love myself. Be a good role model around food and fitness: Although both of my parents inherited athletic, lean bodies, they didn’t show me how to take care of my own through positive activities or food consumption. As a parent, I’ve tried to live in the way I wish I had been raised, so there are no scales in our house, I never talk about my weight or go on a diet, I eat consistently and healthfully with moderate portions, and the children know that I pursue competitive and pleasurable athletics because it invigorates and restores my soul. Don’t compare your children to anyone else: Children don’t need to be overpraised for simply existing, because research shows that it is an ineffective way to create self-esteem, but they do need to know that they have unique strengths that are positive and are not tied in with superficial traits like beauty or weight. Carol Dweck, Ph.D., is one of the leading researchers in the field of motivation and achievement. Her work on “fixed” and “growth” mindsets shows that praising children for their efforts is the best way to build persistence and curiosity, so stay focused on what they are passionate about and not what anyone else is doing. Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual. We do the best we can with the tools available to us, and the mistakes we make are not always from a place of malice but from a place of ignorance. Children with positive body images are more likely to come from families that emphasize well-being, gratitude, kindness and healthy activities over superficial goals like beauty and thinness, so foster an environment that promotes the importance of who you are inside and what your healthy body can do for you. This article originally appeared in the April 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine.
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Mental Health Care is Self-Care

Mental Health Care is Self-Care

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! Each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we’ll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! May's happiness theme is mental health awareness. According to a recent survey from Harris Polls on behalf of the American Psychological Association, Americans are more open to talking about mental health, believing that people suffering from mental health disorders can get better and should not be ashamed of their situation. Through awareness we can continue take away the social stigma surrounding these issues and realize that mental health is a part of our overall health. When we address our problems head on, we can illuminate the path to healthier, happier lives. Mental health disorders can be common and we may not even realize we are suffering from one. Symptoms such as excessive worrying, lack of energy and social avoidance may be warning signs that something is not quite right. It’s always good to check with your physician or mental health provider to find out if you need a simple mental health screening or any mental health treatment. May’s Happy Act is reaching out to a friend in need. Too often we let technology isolate us from the rest of the world. Studies show that this type of behavior is antisocial and could lead to loneliness and depression, which is bad for your mental health. We encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member that you may not have talked to in a while and reconnect. You’ll both be glad that you did. Our May Happy Activist is Priscilla Herd from Pennsylvania. Priscilla is a counselor at a substance abuse and mental health treatment center where she spends her days giving to others by conducting individual and group therapy for intensive outpatients as well as various levels of care. According to her, “the population we serve is in need of changing their mindset, their environments, their friends and need to engage with happy, positive people, thoughts and things in life. It’s a very real and difficult challenge.” She helps her patients change their addictive thought process into a more positive and other-centered process, while simultaneously teaching the importance of self-care as well, which helps the most in recovery. “Many people may have never known anything positive before entering treatment and recovery,” she says. For more information on mental health, read the articles listed below: How to Go From Recovering to Really Thriving 5 Tools for a Healthy and Happy Mind Finding Mental Wellness with Tipper Gore Mental Health Mission What Do You Live About Yourself? Time to up your #HappyActs game. Help us spread global happiness by becoming a Happy Activist and host your very own Happiness Wall. Learn how you can host a wall at your school, business or organization and find out how to create your own fantastic wall using one of our Happy Acts Wall Kits.
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Group of Women Socialize Teamwork Happiness Concept

What Do You Like About Yourself?

With summer right around the corner, are you one of the many women who are worrying about what you need to improve about yourself before swimsuit season hits? Susan Hyatt, author of the book BARE and host of the BARE Podcast, uses her platform to take on the mental aspects of body image to help us feel better physically. And she wants women to stop worrying about what they don’t like so they can enjoy less stress, better sleep and greater happiness. Whether it’s losing weight, changing jobs or committing to healthier relationships, Susan will give you a new way to think about how to create your best life. Live Happy Now: What drives our obsession with how we look? Susan Hyatt: Girls and women are bombarded with the messaging that thinner is better, our worth is based on our appearance and the skinnier you could be or the younger you could appear is more valued. When I get clients who say they want to lose weight, my number one question is ‘why?’ When they answer that question, it’s typically so that they could feel a certain way. With BARE, it’s like, okay, “Well, let’s help you feel that way already without needing the scale number to be something different than what it is.” LHN: You also talk about how willpower is not the answer. So oftentimes, we beat ourselves up if we miss a goal and we say well, “If I just had more willpower, if I just were better at this, then that would work for me.” Why is will power not the answer? SH: Well, I would like every listener to really think about everything they do in their daily lives, whether it’s running kids around or taking care of aging parents or doing well at the office. We do so much that requires so much willpower it’s really this myth that if you just have more will power, you could have that body. What I have come to realize in my work is that women don’t need more willpower, they need more pleasure in their lives. While we’re so busy doing the whole no pain, no gain thing, we’re leaving behind what our body is wired for and needs on a daily basis, which is pleasure. There’s all different kinds of pleasure and all different kinds of ways to infuse your day with pleasure that don’t require a whole lot of time or a whole lot of money. If we focus on that, there’s no need for anymore willpower. Some of the smallest little moves can make a huge impact on your quality of life.” LHN: So how do you help someone identify what gives them pleasure? SH: Well it is interesting that you brought up that question because when I go to parties and things, people are like, “So what do you do?” I like to ask instead, “What do you do for fun?” and most people are like, “What? What do you mean?” So the first thing that I do is ask them in terms of their free time what are they doing? How are they spending their time? That usually is a hint as to what kind of pleasure they are really seeking. LHN: Parade magazine had some really nice things to say about your book and I love that they said, “This is the perfect book for anyone who wants to master the art of de-stressing.” We all want to de-stress, so why is that so difficult? SH: How long do you got? Because I think our central nervous systems are constantly in shock. I think that in our culture we are so used stress just being part of everything we do, and it doesn’t have to be that way. Everything from commuting to what is happening in the workplace to when we turn on our televisions and see what is happening in politics and the news, it’s just sensory overload all the time. So that has become our normal and then when we make these suggestions like maybe you should just sit in the sun for five minutes, people are like, “Are you crazy?!” But honestly, in the work that I’ve done some of the tiniest…my friend Laura calls it simple but significant moves. Some of the smallest little moves can make a huge impact on your quality of life. So, something as little as, “You know what? On my drive to work I’m just going to do it in silence and turn the radio off” can absolutely have a domino effect on someone’s life that is quite amazing. So, I think that when we think about why is this so difficult for me, I think part of it is the lack of willingness to feel uncomfortable for a little while.
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Live Happy Science of Savoring

The Science of Savoring

Sariah Daine has mastered the art of savoring everyday moments. “I’m looking at the clouds hanging delightfully in this beautiful, blue sky,” noted the artist and grandmother from Madison, Wisconsin, one recent morning. “The air is crisp and smells fresh.” It hasn’t always been this way for Sariah, who has had more than her fair share of life challenges. In recent years she lost her parents, suffered repeated heart issues and had to adjust to living alone on a fixed income. But it is her grandchildren and their health problems that affect her most deeply. “I could spend my entire day worried and depressed over my grandson’s lingering medical issues,” Sariah says about her youngest grandson, who was injured while deployed overseas in the military. “But I’ve learned that I need to be at my best to be able to care for my family and friends.” Now Sariah makes a conscious choice each day to savor good things as a way to balance out life’s difficulties. She’s a good example of what many scientists are now documenting—that savoring our positive experiences is a key to a happy life. Coping and Savoring Savoring is the capacity to notice, appreciate and intensify the positive aspects of our lives. Knowing how to cope with negative events and savor positive ones are two sides of the coin of life experiences. Coping skills help diminish the effects of painful moments, while savoring helps amplify the beauty of joyful ones. Both are essential to living a happy life. While coping strategies have been studied for decades, positive psychologists and scientists who study happiness are now exploring techniques that allow us to linger and luxuriate in positive experiences. When we savor good times, we allow ourselves to sink into the sweet feeling of positive emotions like joy, love, gratitude and serenity. Positive emotions have been shown to, among other things, increase creativity, improve our sleep and even strengthen our immune systems. “Savoring can help us counteract the natural human tendency to focus more of our attention on negative things in our lives than on positive things,” says Fred Bryant, Ph.D., of Loyola University, who co-authored Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience with Joseph Veroff, Ph.D. Savoring the good times multiplies the joy in our lives in two ways: by diminishing the space in our minds devoted to negative thoughts and by amplifying the effects of positive thoughts and feelings. With practice, we can become better at savoring, immersing ourselves ever more deeply in the sunshine of positive experiences. We can create what might be called a savoring mindset. “The key is to not miss the opportunities to savor when they arise,” Fred says. Savoring Everyday Moments “We must not make the mistake of waiting until we have no negative experience in our lives to begin savoring,” Fred says. “In this world, and in our daily lives, we will have tribulation, and it will not disappear. Our challenge is to prioritize savoring, even in the face of adversity—indeed especially in the face of adversity—for that is when we need it most, to help counterbalance the negative effects of stress and suffering.” Sariah is a good example of doing just that. This means we don’t need to wait for the next big thing to amplify our positive emotions. We can linger in the happiness associated with being in nature, watching our children play or eating a favorite meal. That’s something we can do at any time, any place. Fully experiencing our positive emotions can have far-reaching and long-lasting benefits. Positive emotions are more than simply feel-good moments, according to Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., a psychologist who studies emotions at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She considers each positive emotion a contribution to a positivity savings account.   “Positive emotions, although fleeting, accumulate and compound over time in ways that incrementally build people’s enduring resources,” she writes in “The Role of Positive Emotions in Positive Psychology: The Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotions,” which was published in the journal American Psychologist. Savoring helps intensify and expand our connection to positive emotions. People who frequently experience positive emotions are more resilient, resourceful and more likely to form close ties with other people. In addition, they are more likely to function at optimal levels in their lives, no matter how they choose to spend their time.  We build up resources by savoring good times, and we can draw upon these resources when we encounter difficulties in the days ahead. The Social Side of Savoring When we communicate and celebrate our positive experience with others, we are using a social savoring strategy that psychologists call capitalizing. After we’ve enjoyed an experience, we can capitalize on it by reliving the positive emotions as we share details with others. Of course, we can share the joy with others in the moment, too. Research from Shelly Gable, Ph.D., at the University of California, Santa Barbara, found that asking others about their good news and listening closely as they retell stories allow them to bask in the glow of that positive experience. It helps them reconnect with the experience and the uplifting emotions that went with it, and it also helps people asking questions experience positive emotions as they help others savor memories. And, if you savor together regularly, Shelly found, it strengthens the relationship. Savoring the Past, Present and Future As it turns out, savoring isn’t just for the present moment. Like most people, you may have found that you had more fun planning your vacation or reminiscing about it than you had when you were actually on the vacation! You’re not alone; scientists say that savoring can be divided into three time-related categories: anticipatory savoring (leading up to an event), experiential savoring (in the moment) and reminiscent savoring (remembering good times and the positive emotions that accompanied them). Researcher Jordi Quoidbach, Ph.D., of the Barcelona Graduate School of Economics describes experiential savoring as “a mindful approach in which one focuses attention on the present moment and systematically suppresses thoughts unrelated to the current experience.” In direct contrast, Jordi describes anticipatory and reminiscent savoring techniques as removing oneself from the moment. This type of savoring, he says, “consists of stepping back from the present experience to mentally travel through time to remember or anticipate positive personal events.” In a study published in Personality and Individual Differences, Jordi reports that emotional well-being—although experienced differently—increased with each of the three types of time-related savoring. Anticipatory savoring takes place before an event. In our vacation example, it might involve watching films set in our vacation spot or collecting maps or guidebooks to plan an itinerary. When we actively plan or imagine good times ahead, we are practicing anticipatory savoring. Experiential savoring occurs in the here and now. It involves being mindful of good things happening as you enjoy a fancy breakfast or the smell of the sea while on vacation. It also happens on a daily basis as you look for things and experiences in your life to appreciate and savor. The key is to not put too much pressure on yourself to make the most of each moment. Simply notice the sights, sounds and smells around you. What parts of this moment are most enjoyable? Reminiscent savoring happens after the fact, when we relive positive moments. We might just drift off into our memories, or we can create activities to help. Looking at photographs or telling friends about our trip is a great way to ramp up reminiscent savoring. One way to enhance reminiscent savoring is to plan a positive activity at the end of your event. This taps into what scientists call peak-end theory, or the finding that we tend to remember the high point (peak) of an experience as well as the way it ended. To the extent possible, try to plan a favorite activity at the end of your event to help you leverage the peak-end theory. You can use this approach to successfully end meetings, parties or even a workout. Don’t Be a Wet Blanket Sometimes we short-circuit our ability to enjoy good times, something scientists refer to as “dampening.” Instead of lingering in good feelings, we cut them short. We dampen our positive emotions when we suppress or minimize good feelings, distract ourselves away from an enjoyable moment, find fault or see only the negative in an otherwise positive situation. Dampening our positive experiences can be seen as an opposite to savoring them. “Such individual differences in the propensity to savor or dampen positive emotions may play an important role for one’s overall well-being,” says Jordi, relating it back to Barbara’s research. “Indeed, the broaden-and-build theory suggests that the cultivation of positive emotions helps to build lasting resources that, in turn, enhance life satisfaction, increase the likelihood of experiencing future positive emotions, and foster resilience to negative ones.” Sometimes dampening positive emotions is appropriate. If you’ve just been promoted and your co-workers weren’t, for example, postponing any celebratory savoring might be in order. Don’t Wait, Savor Today Many of us fall into the trap of thinking that our happiness is just around the corner. Savoring is an active way to notice and enjoy good things already present in our lives. Sure, there are times when we’ll take big steps to change and improve. We may decide to move to exciting new places or to leave jobs that we no longer find rewarding. But to be truly happy, we need not necessarily make big changes. It could be as simple as changing our perspective, such as Sariah’s decision to focus on the current blessings in her life rather than being overwhelmed by its challenges. “Positive events may set the stage for people to experience savoring. But positive events alone are not enough to bring about happiness. People need to be able to attend to and appreciate” those positive feelings, Fred says. This article originally appeared in the April 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine.
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Young sporty woman stretching arms, preparing for working out, outdoor training, warming up after or before fitness on fresh air

How to Go From Recovering to Really Thriving

When I recovered from depression, I decided to live small and defensively. I didn’t want to rock the boat because I was relieved and grateful to just feel “OK.” But slowly, I let down my guard and reached outside of my comfort zone. I wanted to go from being OK, to actually thriving. I made new efforts which regular folk might have called “cute,” but that felt to me like I was bench pressing a hundred pounds. The hardest part was actually getting started, so I took my grandmother’s advice and counted to three anytime I needed to start something. “1-2-3” Get off the sofa. “1-2-3” Make a phone call I’ve been procrastinating from. One by one I made the following changes: 1. Jogging (albeit a slow jaunt to the park and back in jeggings and floppy sunhat while the dog pulls as far away from me on the leash as she can) made me feel strong. Within a few months, I had broken the one-mile mark and was now jogging for longer than five minutes before giving up and ducking into the nearest dollar store for a candy bar and tabloid magazine. 2. I abandoned the ‘depression diet’ which is all about the instant gratification of ‘sorta’ food because you just want a fast fix versus actual food. Making a beautiful vegetable soup feels like I’m showing lots of love to myself. 3. I reminded myself of the behaviors that used to bring me joy (a technique from Cognitive Behavior Therapy). I asked myself: When’s the last time that I remember feeling energized and optimistic? Carefree? Mentally engaged? Whatever the answers were, I tried those same activities again. While I’m not successful at channeling feelings of happiness out of thin air, I can do the things that make me optimistic, carefree and engaged, such as taking a class, dancing and reading biographies. 4. I avoid the triggers that make me feel anxious; for instance, comparing myself to others. I treat social media like a hot tub: get in and get out before you catch something! Instead of seeing who is doing better than me, I ask myself “where would I like to see myself a year from now?” and I run towards my own finish line instead of trying to keep up with the Jones’. 5. I give back. I switched my volatile career from being solely about comedy to making it about mental health with a comedic spin. When I think “I’m getting on stage to make people laugh AND let people know they’re not alone in their struggles,” it makes the challenges of my industry less troubling. 6. I connect more with my community. At 42, I joined a women’s soccer league with my neighbor and also got more involved with my spiritual community. Knowing I’m part of these “teams” makes me feel anchored and supported. Just like pulling the cord on a motor boat sometimes takes 20 sputtering tries before it finally starts and the motor hums loudly to signal you’re ready to go, I had to try these new approaches over and over. After a few months, these changes led to a sense of calmness and stability for me. I felt more like I was living, and less like I was trying to tread water indefinitely. When I hit a setback I forgive myself, and wake up the next day anchored again to my simple goals that give me such a sense of belonging!
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More Than a Thousand Thanks

Happy Activists in 17 different countries shared in a collective act of humanity to spread happiness across the world. By surpassing our goal of more than 1300 Happiness Walls, more people than ever were affected by Live Happy’s #HappyActs campaign and felt the ripple of positivity. Each person who participated did so out of the goodness of their own heart, sacrificing their time and even their own resources to let the world know that kindness always wins. It takes a special person to carry the mission of spreading joy, and for that effort, we at Live Happy are eternally grateful. We asked our Wall hosts to share with us their experiences this year at their Happiness Walls, and this is what they had to say: Why did you decide to become a Happiness Wall Host? “To encourage our students to spread kindness throughout the school building.”—Denise H., Mattydale, New York “I believe in and want to support the mission of making the world a happier place. I had such a great experience last year participating at a Wall that I thought I would take a step up and out to see if I could find a place to put up a Wall myself.”—Susan C., Mt. Prospect, Illinois “Our location was across from our county courthouse. We know not all events there are happy. But even the "not happy" events can be a beginning. We were the reminder that happiness can be shared easily.”—Cindy N., Olathe, Kansas “I love spreading joy, kindness and happiness to others. And because as a Mom, it is truly what I preach to my kids each and every day. When I drop them off at school I tell them that I love them, and that I want them to do their best and to always be kind to others!”—Maria B., Syracuse, New York What impact did hosting a Happiness Wall have on you and those around you? “After hosting the first one, I felt like I was walking on air three feet off the ground. This gives me so much joy, which shines from my face like beams of light. It is contagious and is reflected in everyone nearby.”— Sharon H., Fenton, Michigan “It helped me support my coworkers and neighbors and brought enjoyment to me. A little kindness goes a long way and I think new hires in our work environment were able to glean from the Happiness Wall.”—Winifried F., Addison, Texas “It made a HUGE impact in my community. I hosted at my local gym and got tons of positive feedback from the clients! Lots of wonderful happy acts and kindness!”— Celeste A., Canton, Georgia “My most memorable moments were watching how eager the kids were to share and how open they are to make sure others were happy.”—Jennifer B., Holtville, Alabama “Our wall had affirmations, confirmations and admiration from all ages! Children even participated and were excited about the opportunity to do good for someone else! The Happiness Wall brings awareness and spreads joy in our communities that lasts a lifetime!”—Linda F., Shelburne, Vermont What was the most memorable moment at your Happiness Wall event? “For me this year it was very personal. I was left to set up the wall by myself, so I recruited one of my sons and two grandsons (ages 12 and 14) to help me. I had not been able to get their support before. When we had things set up, they started playing with the frisbees and other balls I have available for guests who show up. When they had to leave they said, ‘Memaw, this is really neat and we had fun. Can we help you next year?’”—Connie H., Tyler, Texas “The happiness wall definitely helped to lighten our school's atmosphere and brought those who put together and other activities (including myself) closer.”—Nathan S., Guam, USA “I guess that it happened when we finished with eight meters of a Happiness Wall full of happy thoughts.”—Elizabeth B., Bogota, Colombia “We met an elderly gentleman and his face lit up as he peered into the gathering room at the coffee house and the energy around the #Happy Acts wall. He joined us with his coffee and we learned so much about him in the hour or so that he stayed to chat. He recently lost his daughter to cancer in October last year and loved sharing about her.”—Mary F., Long Valley, New Jersey Just because the International Day of Happiness is behind us, doesn’t mean we have to stop celebrating. We encourage everyone to host a Happiness Wall any time of the year and experience great feeling of spreading in your community. Trust us and thousands of Happy Activists, when we say you’ll be glad you did.
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family, gaming and entertainment concept - happy father and little daughter with gamepads playing video game at home

Find Time for Memory-Making Traditions

In today’s busy world, we sometimes push aside things that are important to us—like family time and traditions. Blogger, author and former teacher Jessica Smartt believes that making memories is the missing piece in today’s families. As the mother of three, she’s worked to build new traditions in her own family and make those moments more meaningful. Her book, Memory-Making Mom: Building Traditions That Breathe Life Into Your Home, looks at how even the busiest family can rethink their day-to-day activities and create memory-making traditions. She joined us on the Live Happy Now podcast to talk about why these traditions are so important and how we can start creating them in our own families. Live Happy Now: What made you want to write a book about traditions and creating memories? Jessica Smartt: I think for a long time I sort of felt angsty and guilty, that I wasn’t fun enough and our house was kind of lame. I didn’t quite know how to fix it and it just kind of dawned on me one day [while] talking to an older gentleman who is on the other side of parenting, how powerful traditions are. They’re like the missing link between what we care about and how to make it actually happen. Everybody has a tradition from their childhood that they remembered. They’re always different and you know, sometimes they’re the funniest things that stick out to people, but it’s really powerful for kids and for parents too. LHN: It falls on the mom typically, to uphold traditions and implement them, so I think when someone says, "I’m going to start doing traditions," they’re like shoot me now, I don’t need one more thing to do. Can you talk about why it’s important to create traditions? JS: Well, I’d be lying if I said that it was always easy because it’s not. What’s easy is to sit on your phone and scroll. But at the end of the day, no one lays their head on their pillow and thinks, "That was a great 20 minutes I spent scrolling Instagram. I’m so glad I did that." But you do say, and I know this from experience, "I’m glad I played that game of Candy Land for the 20th time” or "I’m glad I played catch with my son in the front yard." While it’s not easy, it’s so satisfying. Putting these things into action is a way of choosing the intentional life that really gives us satisfaction and peace. That’s step one. Step two is—I think I have kind of made it a little bit easy with my book—I always say if you’re starting out, pick a couple of things that matter to your family. With your kids, if they’re old enough, come up with a way to implement that. The amazing thing is kids really remember and so they will actually never forget and will remind you forever for the rest of your life if that helps. LHN: What does it do for us as a family when we intentionally set about making memories? JS: Childhood under our roof is so short and so quick. Number one is, you’re giving them things they need with these memories. It supports us, it bolsters us up, it gives us confidence, it gives us a sense of stability and it tells us who we are. It does so many things that we don’t even realize it. Even little silly ones, you know? Doughnuts every Saturday with dad. That’s doing something on a level that I think we don’t always give it enough credit and then part two is, it tells your family members that they matter. For parents who are so overworked and so busy, this is a way of saying I choose us and you matter. It’s amazing, it really works to say, “We’re all going to hop in the car right now and go to the zoo.” Their faces light up like and you can tell it’s like, “We’re doing this together, we matter. Mom and dad actually like us. They’re not just dragging us around because they have to.” LHN: It does change the way that they see the adult world because they’re used to seeing us work and come home and we’re tired and we’re on our phones, we’re on our laptops…so this can kind of changes the way we are seen by them. JS: Exactly. That’s powerful for me to think you know, talk about technology in a couple of years, my kids are going to have phones and they’re learning right now by watching me how to act with technology, you know? They’re seeing if I have hobbies outside. They’re seeing what I do at dinner. They’re seeing if I look people in the eye and you know, they learn much more from what we’re doing than what we’re saying and so this is a concrete way of saying, here’s what matters to us as a family. We’re important and making memories is important and here’s our values. I always fail, I’m not the perfect memory-making mom, but at least now I have the goal. I know what I’m shooting towards. LHN: Obviously it benefits kids greatly, but what has it done for you as the parent to implement traditions? JS: Well, a big part of it for me, as I said, was just making me feel more confident that I am doing this thing, certainly not perfectly, but a little closer in that direction. That’s a really good, powerful feeling that you kind of have, like you just said, your goal that you’re shooting towards. You know it’s been enjoyable. We’ve made some really fun memories and it is fun as a grown-up to do all this stuff that gives us life, like hiking mountains or going on vacation. LHN: You do a great job in this book of giving us ideas. How does someone start deciding what’s right for their family? JS: There are a ton of ideas in the back. And this summer I’m launching a free bullet journal where you can kind of jot down in different categories to what your particular goals are. I would say, just—in the book, you can actually skip around and pick the topic that really interests you. I would just pick one of those ideas. I like to think of it as maybe picking something daily if it fits. Something seasonal, something maybe weekly.…Even just picking two things a year to do is a great start because you get it under your belt, you feel good about it. You are excited. So, I would just say start very slowly but start.
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Live Happy Don't Let Social Media Harm Your Happiness

Don’t Let Social Media Harm Your Happiness

While creating robust real-life social networks can be a well-being enhancer, a recent study from the University of Pennsylvania suggests our virtual social networks can have the opposite effect. According to researchers at UPenn, through experimental data and self-monitoring, this study is the first to show a causal link that an increase in social media use can decrease well-being. “What we found very clearly was that the folks who were in the group that limited their social media use, showed significant reductions in depression and loneliness,” says psychologist Melissa G. Hunt, Ph.D, associate director of clinical training in the department of psychology at UPenn. “This was actually most true for the folks who were the most depressed at the start of this study.” In the recently released World Happiness Report 2019, by 2018, “95 percent of United States adolescents had access to a smartphone, and 45 percent said they were online ‘almost constantly.’” When there is an increase in digital media, especially for young people, there is a decline in sleep, exercise, social interactions and attending religious services compared to those who do not spend so much time in a virtual reality. Melissa says that when we spend hours on apps, such as Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, passively scrolling through our feeds and negatively comparing ourselves to “one-sided” views of other people’s lives, we are doing serious harm to our well-being. Melissa also says the fear of missing out (FOMO)—which is witnessing people in your network having a good time without you—also contributes to negative feelings. “So that whole fear of missing out in which people get very anxious about other people having connections, friendships and relationships that they aren’t a part of is another part of the problem,” Melissa says. “When you use too much social media, you feel like your own life doesn’t measure up and you are feeling that you are not always invited to things that everyone else is invited to.” So how can we use social media in way that doesn’t make us sad? Here are three helpful suggestions from Melissa: Seeing is not always believing. Most of what we see on social media is not real. Not to say that it is necessarily staged, but people rarely post negative images of themselves. We are only getting the intended perspective, and we tend to compare ourselves negatively to something this isn’t accurate. “You are looking at someone else’s Instagram feed and its very curated, everyone looks very happy and they are only posting the photos that are actually flattering,” Melissa says. “And so you get a very one-side perspective on other people’s lives. And it’s very easy to conclude that your own life just doesn’t measure up? It is not as fun, not as glamorous, you are not doing as much.” The real thing is always better. Mindlessly scrolling through social feeds not only wastes your time, it further isolates you from the people you are trying to catch up with virtually. Try spending more time reconnecting with people in person. Maybe someone you know needs a real conversation instead of a virtual chat or text. “One of the things to remember about intimacy is that intimacy is fostered by sharing the bad times with people as well as the good times with people,” Melissa says. “And there something about social media that doesn’t encourage that.” Put yourself on restriction. Melissa says quitting social media cold turkey is unrealistic, especially with younger generations who grew up attached to their phones. She recommends about a half hour day. By spending less time FOMO-ing, we’re are more likely to get out in the real world and take part in activities that benefit our well-being, such as taking a walk or volunteering. During their study, researchers noticed that participants, who were all college students, were amazed to realize how much time they were spending on social media before the break and how much better they felt about themselves after the digital reprieve. Melissa says that some even said they were more likely to complete their school work and socialize with their friends in person.
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