Stressed young woman looking at her laptop

SNAP Out of Stress With Mindful Self-Compassion

This simple self-care technique can help reboot your brain Many of us don’t take the time to properly care for ourselves. We are so busy working, caring for and raising families, paying bills, and keeping up with the demands of daily life that we may not prioritize self-care. If this sounds like you, I want to share something that can help refresh your mind and spirit in the midst of your often chaotic life: mindful self-compassion through a strategy I call SNAP. SNAP stands for: Soothing Touch Name the Emotion Act Praise Back in 1979, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn coined the acronym STOP as a simple way for people to grasp the concept of mindfulness. STOP stands for stop, take a breath, observe, and proceed. It’s been a wonderful tool that has helped countless people. However, we have learned a lot more about neuroscience and our ability to calm our minds and emotions over the past 40 years. Take soothing (or supportive) touch as an example. Today, we know that if you put your hands on your body with intention and attention, this releases oxytocin and endorphins, providing an effective way to pause, switch into a mindful state, and calm your nervous system. Naming the emotion we feel is also a key part of SNAP. When we name what we are feeling, we put some distance between our emotions and ourselves. We begin to recognize that feelings come and go, but don’t define us. This is not a matter of avoiding difficult feelings but letting them flow through us. Here’s how SNAP works: S: Soothing Touch When you feel stress, place your hands where you find it soothing, which might be your chest, belly, face or arms. Try different locations and see what feels most soothing. This touch releases oxytocin and endorphins to help calm your nervous system. Then when you are experiencing stress, take a moment to see if the stress is causing a tightening in your body? Move your hands and rest them over the area that feels contracted. It might be your chest or your belly. If you feel stress in muscles of your face, try cradling your face in your hands. Some people feel a pain in the back of their head or their temples when stressed. Place your good hands on wherever feels tight and imagine a soothing warm compress softening the area. N: Name the Emotion What are you feeling in the moment? Is it worry? Sadness? Anger? Frustration? Naming what you feel helps calm your body’s stress response. It also gives you time to locate it in your body, dovetailing with a soothing touch so that you move your hands to that location. Naming the emotion also widens the perspective to know that you are not your emotions. A: Act Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Then do what you can reasonably do in the moment. For example: While driving: Try controlling your breathing, making your exhale longer than your inhale to lower your blood pressure and slow your heart rate. I often put one hand on the wheel, and the other hand on my heart. When toddler tantrums or teen drama erupt: Try dropping your attention to the soles of your feet as you control your breathing to slow the whole show down. When teen or adult family drama makes you want to flee: Stay focused on your body and your breathing. Breathe in compassion for yourself because it’s so difficult, and breathe out compassion for them because they are suffering (even if their behavior is distressing). This helps calm your nervous system and your emotions. At work: Depending on your work situation, you may have more options for relief in the moment if you have a door you can close (even if it’s in the bathroom stall! Give yourself a few minutes for quiet reflection. Ground yourself by touching a polished stone that you keep on your desk, or focus your attention on the soles of your feet. Take a break at the water cooler and exhale longer than you inhale for a few rounds of breathing. Look out the window, go for a walk, or call a friend. Do whatever you can to shift your attention and your mood. P: Praise  Many people think of praise in relation to religion, but it is not necessary to be religious to cultivate a sense gratitude and all the benefits it brings for your health and happiness. When you give thanks, the gratitude you feel starts an upward spiral of positive emotions. This can help you to be more compassionate with yourself and others and can reinforce your desire to take care of yourself. So the next time you feel anxious, exhausted, depleted, or overwhelmed, remember to practice SNAP. Take the time to care for yourself through mindful self-compassion can help you feel refreshed so you can meet whatever challenges you face with greater calm, ease, and confidence. Julie Potiker is a mindfulness expert with extensive teacher training in a variety of tools and methods, including Mindful Self-Compassion through her Mindful Methods for Life program offerings and her book —Life Falls Apart, but You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm in the Midst of Chaos—Julie helps others bring more peace and wellness into their lives. For more information, visit MindfulMethodsForLife.com.
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What People Are Saying About Live Happy

Home » What People Are Saying About Live Happy Readers weigh in about how Live Happy has affected their lives. Dear Live Happy: I love the article about choosing a word for the year and it being a great alternative to a resolution. It made me think about it and my word for 2017 is “significance.” I’d like everything I do to add significance in someone’s life; it will help me be intentional about the things I do every day to improve myself and add value to others. What a great way to make sure I’m living happy in 2017. —Eeman H. :) I like the article about choosing a word for 2017. I have done this in the past but it was like reading it for the first time, like the blinders were off and the word “focus” stuck out to me. What we FOCUS on is what grows! —Mechelle C. :) Hey there, I was on the hunt for some info about commuting and found your post "Reboot Your Commute." Great stuff! Keep cranking out the great content for livehappy.com. Thanks! —Joshna J. :) I found your fantastic website, and I have been inspired by the amazing stories and podcast. —Andrew B. :) I just picked up your magazine in the Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport and read it cover to cover by the time we got back to Chicago! I am in love with it. My name is Felecia, which means happiness, so the magazine title was my first attraction, and I am a huge fan of Queen Latifah gracing the cover. Every article wowed me, and I am definitely subscribing! Thank you for this experience! —Felecia G. :) I stopped in an airport lounge to have a little oatmeal and coffee before boarding my flight. It was here that I discovered Live Happy magazine. Oh my! It’s my soulmate in print and I’m in love. Every page leads to happy and joy. —Sandra L. :) My daughter and I talk about being Happy all the time. Most of our happy thoughts are centered around Nature and the outdoors. So when I saw "Live Happy" in the newsstands at the checkout line while in Whole Foods, I thought, Yeesss! It made me think so much of my daughter Nyah. She's always been such a happy girl. BTW, The article on Adult Sleep-Away Camps was awesome. Adults could benefit from getting in touch with their" inner child and finding their 'Happy' "! Thanks, Live Happy! —Ebony J. :) I just wanted to let you know that your magazine is so lovely. It puts a smile on my face when I see it in the mailbox. You will have a subscriber for a long time to come. And, I have already made a gift subscription for a friend’s birthday. Thank you so much. —Sue F. :) I’m not a very good flyer, so the positive reinforcement I get from reading Live Happy makes the flight a little smoother! —Paige S. :) I got to listen to the podcast this morning before the crazy day started. I got lots of good input that I needed for today. It really did help! Thank you Live Happy! —Joan A. :) Your recent podcasts with Amy Blankson and Laurie Berkner (my kids’ favorite singer) taught me so much about tech and parenting. —Evan M. :) Live Happy is amazing! The magazine was a welcomed delight but the podcasts are life-changing. I am able to play them at home and in the car. As a stay-at-home mom of kids that are 2 and 3 years old, I need all the focus, lessons, skills and happy time that I get from Live Happy Now. Plus my little guys listen in, too, so they are soaking up the happiness! —Rebecca P. :) OMG! I have known about Live Happy since its inception and have enjoyed the articles, interviews and ideas...and the podcasts are the best ever! I listen every morning while I’m working out. Sometimes I get lost in the subject, other times I am right there. The beauty is that I am so happy listening to good, happy, positive stuff, rather than the news or 24-hour sports commentary! —Lynda E. :) Thank You! I am 74 years old and am reading Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy. I have read many books in my day, but this book has touched me and motivated me more than I can even explain. I am savoring each page and know I will re-read it many times. I have never sent an email or letter like this, but felt compelled to. Again, thank you. —Faye W. _________________________________________________________ We want to hear from you, too! Contact us at editor@livehappy.com.
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In the News

Home » In the News August 9, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on Yahoo Entertainment re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 9, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on Standard Republic re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 9, 2017- Live Happy mentioned on ABC7 Chicago re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on Celebrity Insider re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on E!news re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt, again. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on FOX News Entertainment re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in Cosmopolitan.com re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in IBTimes.uk re Anna and Chris. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in News.com.au re Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8. 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in Page Six re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on CNN re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 8, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on ET online re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 7, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned in IMDB.com news re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 7, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned and magazine cover shown on Exttra! TV online re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 7, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on Entertainment Tonight online re: Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. August 7, 2017 - Live Happy mentioned on E News! regarding Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. July 31, 2017 - Live Happy and Michelle Gielan mentioned in article in Inc.com. July 21, 2017 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser and Live Happy are mentioned in an article on SheKnows.com about body image. July 20, 2017 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser featured on KTLA newscast to discuss the Netflix film To The Bone. July 19, 2017 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser featured on Good Day L.A. July 18, 2017 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser featured on FoxLA.com. August 30, 2016 - Live Happy Editor at Large Stacy Kaiser featured on KTLA Newscast re: Making the Best of Your Empty Nest. March 16, 2016 - Live Happy and Happy Acts featured in the Kansas City Star. January 12, 2016 -SheScribes.com featured Live Happy in a piece on how to be happy in the New Year, which included reference to the magazine, website and magnetic chalkboard, recipe sign and water bottle January 5, 2016 -Good Morning Texas had Live Happy COO, Deborah Heisz, in-studio for a LIVE segment January 1, 2016 -DFW.CBSlocal.com interviewed Deborah Heisz for article "Ask a DFW Expert: 5 Best Snow Day Activities" December 30, 2015 - TODAY Show revealed online coverage of Live Happy Editor-at-Large, Stacy Kasier, TODAY show segment "How to Hang On To Holiday Joy" (Even After the Holidays) December 29, 2015 -TODAY Show aired segment with Stacy Kaiser on the topic of “joy” related to the season and carrying on into the New Year December 18, 2015 -MariaShriver.com featured article by Stacy Kaiser, "When Gift Giving Goes Wrong…7 Things You Can Do" December 11, 2015 -WPTV NewsChannel 5 at 5 NBC mentioned Live Happy's tips on giving "redeemable" gifts December 11, 2015 -MariaShriver.com posted "3 Secrets for De-Stressing The Season & Enjoying the Holidays" December 9, 2015 -Twitter.com/ToTheMotherhoodtweeted a picture of Live Happy Nov/Dec issue cover and subscription December 9, 2015 -WSVN Channel 7 News FOXMention’s Deborah Heisz's tip on giving adult coloring books December 8, 2015 -KPTV More Good Day Oregon, FOX Portland featured Deborah Heisz's clip on returning gifts December 8, 2015 - WGHP Fox 8 News (FOX) mentions Live Happy magazine in segment about subscription gifts December 8, 2015 -Greatist.com featured Stacy Kaiser's expertise in "The Best Way to Respond to Passive Aggressive People" December 4, 2015 -WSVN 7 News Miami (FOX) picked up Fox News Edge, introduced Deborah K. Heisz as Live Happy director and featured gift clip December 3, 2015 -Fox 13 News Salt Lake City (KSTU) mentioned Deborah Heisz and Live Happy magazine in a piece on gift giving this season December 3, 2015 -GQ Magazine Mexico featured article on Jeff Olson and mentioned LiveHappy.com Mexico launch December 2, 2015 - Prevention.com featured Stacy Kaiser's thoughts in article "The 2-Second Relationship Fix That Works" December 2, 2015 -The Hoda Show (Sirius XM radio) had Stacy on LIVE for her ongoing monthly segment in which she discussed holiday gift giving November 30, 2015 -Healthzette.com featured Stacy Kaiser's thoughts in article, "When Bad Habits are Good" November 30, 2015 -MariaShriver.com posted "5 Tips to Get Fit" article from magazine November 23, 2015 -ABCNews.go.com featured Deborah Heisz's tips on a piece about how to MAINTAIN HAPPINESS during the Holidays November 23, 2015 -Just Jenny (Sirius XM) interviewed Live Happy COO, Deborah Heisz, live on November 20th to discuss gift guides and happy gifts November 18, 2015 -DivorcedMoms.com featured Stacy's advice in article about domestic disputes after divorce November 18, 2015 -WomensRunning.com featured Stacy Kaiser's thoughts for a piece on "Holiday Fitness Hacks Straight from the Top". November 18, 2015 -iWayMagazine.com featured Live Happy in article about Jeff Olson in conjunction with visit to Mexico November 17, 2015 -Radaronline.com featured Dolly Parton's cover story in celeb slide show, "When Celebrities Go Out They Go All Out!" November 16, 2015 -The Steve Harvey Show introduced Stacy Kaiser as Live Happy Editor in Chief , included in her lower third, and showed the Nov/Dec issue cover in single-mom panel segment on Nov. 16 November 14, 2015 -TasteofCountry.com featured Dolly Parton's cover story in "Dolly Parton Shares Her Secret to Happiness" November 11, 2015 -Dr. Michelle Robin's Radio Show interviewed Deborah Heisz on November 9 at 12pm CST on the Nov/Dec issue and Live Happy overall November 11, 2015 -BlogTalkRadio.com featured Dr. Michelle Robin's interview with Deborah Heisz on November 9 at 12pm CST on the Nov/Dec issue and Live Happy overall November 5, 2015 -MarthaStewartWeddings.com featured Stacy Kaiser’s insight in a piece on “10 Ways to Calm Your Nerves Before You Walk Down the Aisle” November 5, 2015 -YourTango.com featured Stacy Kaiser’s thoughts in a piece on fall dating do’s and don’ts November 4, 2015 - The Hoda Show (Sirius XM) interviewed Live Happy Editor in Chief, Stacy Kaiser, for her monthly ongoing segment Link: Stacy talks about forgiveness on The Hoda Show November 3, 2015 -Twitter.com/NBC shared Dolly Parton’s cover story and image to help promote her cover story and her NBC movie, Coat of Many Colors October 30, 2015 -ScarySymptoms.com featured Stacy Kaiser’s thoughts in an article on whether it’s wrong for childless people to give parenting advice October 30, 2015 -ScarySymptoms.com featured Stacy Kaiser’s thoughts in a piece on why parents should be popular with their kids and teens October 29, 2015 - Live Happy COO, Deborah Heisz, quoted in USA Today story about clearing clutter October 25, 2015 - Editor at large Stacy Kaiser quoted in story about divorced moms October 23, 2015 - Stacy Kaiser is quoted in this article on 10 Ways to Boost Confidence August 15, 2015 - Mediapost.com Link: Interview with Live Happy Editorial Director Deborah Heisz August 1, 2015 - Inc.com Link: Deborah Heisz's advice is included in this article about vacations July 25, 2015 - The HodaShow Link: Stacy Kaiser on Hoda'sSirius Radio Show July 25, 2015 - The Kim Pagano Radio Show Link: Interview With Deborah Heisz, LH Co-Founder July 24, 2015 - Healthy Talk Radio Link: Deborah Heiszdiscusses Traveling With your Kids July 24, 2015 - Healthy Talk Radio Link: Deborah Heisz discusses Ways to Find Your Happy Place July 9. 2015 - LadyLux.com Link: Mentioned in article about The Benefits of Play July 6, 2015 TODAY ShowEditor-at-large Stacy Kaiser and contributors Adam Shell and Nick Kraft were featured on the TODAY show July 1, 2015 The Jane Wilkins Radio Show Link:Deborah Heisz Discusses Live Happy and Happiness June 29, 2015 MotherhoodDefined.com Article: Deb Heisz:Kickstart Your Day With a Dose of Positivity June 25, 2015 HuffingtonPost.com Article: Stacy Kaiser: What to Do If Mom and Dad Have Different Parenting Styles June 23, 2015 HuffingtonPost.com Article: Stacy Kaiser: How Grandparents Can Help During a Divorce June 21, 2015 HuffingtonPost.com Article: Summer Travel Round-Up (Gratitude Journal) January 23, 2015 People.com Article: Why Is Scott Foley Hiding Under the Covers Every Morning? October 31, 2014 JustJared Article: Kristin Chenoweth Gets Into Holiday Spirit for Live Happy Mag October 31, 2014 celebuzz.com Article: Kristin Chenoweth'sWickedly Happy Holidays for 'Live Happy' Magazine August 19, 2014 mydevotionalthoughts.net Article: Celebrating 31 Days of Friendship August 18, 2014 washingtonpost.com Article: Stay Happy, and You May Live Longer August 7, 2014 semmessavers.com Article:Get Positive with Live Happy Magazine (Review) August 7, 2014SheScribes.com Article:Learn how to Live Happy August 4, 2014 nypost.com Article: Replace your therapist with these psych magazines August 4, 2014 mydevotionalthoughts.net Article: “Live Happy” Magazine Review July 30, 2014 lovetoknow.com Article: Why Are Jobs Stressful? July 28, 2014 mamalikesthis.com Article: Live Happy Magazine Subscription July 9, 2014 Pblcty.com Article: Miranda Lambert Talks Life, Community, and Staying True to Her Roots July 9, 2014 CountryMusicRocks.net Article: Miranda Lambert Featured in Live Happy magazine July 3, 2014 Guitar Girl magazine Article: Miranda Lambert Graces the Cover of Live Happy and Discusses her Credo to Happiness June 30, 2014Dadofdivas.com Article:Be Part of the Movement to Live Happy #giveaway May 13, 2014 Everyday Health Article:Why You Should Make Every Meal a Happy Meal April 16, 2014Yesware​Article:The Exercise Effect: How Exercise Can Boost Your Sales Performance​ April 10, 2014 DailyWorth Article:4 Steps to Find Your Happy​ March 21, 2014 — Pittsburgh Tribune-Review Article: Pitt Celebrates Happiness with Wall of Positivity March 20, 2014 — Dallas Morning News Article: March 20 is International Day of Happiness March 20, 2014 — Forbes.com Article: Why the World Needs a Happiness Campaign to Live Better March 19, 2014 —USA Today Article:Happy, happy, joy, joy: Books, apps bubble it up March 19, 2014 —Houston Chronicle Article:Houston, Are You Happy? March 19, 2014 —Positively Positive Article:What Successful People and Happy People Have in Common March 19, 2014 Article:Happiness is the Thing March 4, 2014 — Huffington Post Article: Happiness Gets its Day January 10, 2014 —Des MoinesRegister Article: Iowa editor of 'Live Happy' magazine looks beyond bullet-point platitudes December 28, 2013 —​Mr. Magazine Article:Live Happy Magazine: Happiness Finds Its Way to Print. The Mr. Magazine™ Interview with Editor in Chief Karol DeWulf Nickell. December 23, 2013 —Albuquerque Journal Article:Positive psychology focuses on what makes us happy December 13, 2013 — ​MyFox4 Video:Good Day Dallas December 13, 2013 —95.9WATD Article:SSMN: Wednesday December18th, 2013 December 2, 2013 —Washington Post Article:What’s so bad about feeling good? November 25, 2013 —Good News Planet Article:Live Happy Magazine – 25 Ways to Give Happiness at the Holidays November 19 2013 —Wisconsin Public Radio Articles:25 Ways To Give Happiness Over The Holidays November 19, 2013 —Biz Mommy Article:If You're Happy and You Know It... November 18, 2013 —Complete Herbal Guide Article:The Most Important Secrets You Must Learn In Order to Live a Happy, Healthy & Productive Life November 13, 2013 —The Overwhelmed Brain Article:Episode 0001: Jeff Olson: The Slight Edge – The Compounding Effect of Daily Progress November 9, 2013 — Examiner Article:Read celebrity profiles in the new Live Happy magazine November 4, 2013 —EternalLizdom Article:LiveHappy November 1, 2013 —Dr.Oz Video:How to Stop Worrying October 30, 2013 — Networking Witches Article:Live Happy Magazine October 30, 2013 — The Shelly Wilson Show Article:The Shelly Wilson Show with Jeff Olson October24, 2013 —Media DailyNews Article:LiveHappy Launches
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A woman happy in nature.

Finding Joy Again

How to recover from loss and live happier now. The search for happiness is often a journey that’s filled with hurdles and detours. But, what happens when you find that life, profession or person that brings you joy—only to have it taken away? “Loss is an inherent part of the human narrative. We have to experience loss to experience the joy,” says Randi Waldman, a professional counselor and educator who specializes in helping patients rediscover happiness. “By working through the pain, we have the opportunity to grow, find purpose and, ultimately, live a fuller life.” Randi knows firsthand how daunting that journey can be. She was a divorced, single mother of three children, one of whom was severely disabled, trying to survive on a teacher’s salary when she decided to go to graduate school. Ultimately, the loss of her marriage and the need to provide for her kids were the catalysts that lead her to her true calling. “I think it’s human nature to want one, big answer to emerge right away. But, recovery typically happens with little shifts,” she says. “It’s much like weight loss. There’s real value in starting small, making incremental changes every day.” Although everyone has a different timeline, finding your way after loss means venturing into the unknown. “It’s important not to attach yourself to one outcome, as this will morph throughout life,” Randi says. “Instead of saying, ‘I will be happy when I do X, Y or Z,’ be open to the possibilities. You can’t go back to the life you had, but you do have the opportunity to add to that life—sometimes in extraordinary ways.” From Devastation to Life Purpose There’s no better example of that concept in action than Dana Donofree. In 2010, at the age of 27, she seemingly had it all—a great job as a director of design and merchandising, a fabulous fiancé and a very bright future. Then, the day before her birthday, two months before her wedding, she was diagnosed with ductal carcinoma. After a 14-month blur of treatments, including a bilateral mastectomy, reconstruction and a grueling chemotherapy regimen, Dana tried to regroup and get back to normal. But, even the most basic things were no longer normal. Including lingerie. “I remember pulling out all of these wonderful things I received at my bridal shower, only to discover that nothing worked with my new body,” she says. “The only bras that actually fit were these matronly, institutional things sold at the mastectomy shop.” She had her life, but she felt like she lost her femininity in the process. “As cancer survivors, we were supposed to just be happy that we were alive. But, no one was actually thinking about us actually living our lives post-surgery,” Dana says. “I realized that I was letting this dictate the way I felt about myself, the way I was acting, everything. The more survivors I talked to, the more I was inspired to do something about it.” Dana parlayed her background in the fashion industry into AnaOno, a company that creates beautiful lingerie designed to fit post reconstruction bodies. Was she scared? Absolutely. “Being scared and facing those fears gives you some of the best opportunities to grow, expand and become the person you want to become. I didn’t want to end my life wondering what if,” Dana says. “I wanted whatever amount of life I had left to have meaning.” For the past six years, she has not only made AnaOno a success, but has also used that platform for advocacy, fundraising and, in the process, has become a go-to resource on life after breast cancer for women worldwide. In business, as in passing her own cancer-free milestone, Dana continues to beat the odds. “For all of the darkness of my cancer, there’s been five times more brightness that’s come out of it all,” she says. “I have met incredible people. I’ve learned how to live a happier life. And, I know I’m making a difference.” The Ability to Cope Why do some people thrive after setbacks while others struggle? Are some people simply born made of tougher stuff? Yes and no. “About one-third of the qualities that make people resilient are grounded in their DNA. But, two-thirds of those characteristics are acquired throughout their lifespan,” explains Rick Hanson, Ph.D., psychologist, best-selling writer and author of the new book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. “It’s important to know that resilience is more than recovering from loss or trauma. People who are resilient are also able to pursue opportunities in the face of challenges.” Joey Anders has always been one of those people. By age 11, he wanted to go to college. But, as the son of a single mother working two jobs, he knew that the onus was on him to find a way there. So, he decided to excel at basketball. Joey was athletic, but definitely not a basketball prodigy. “I believed, if I worked harder than everyone else, that I could become as good as any player,” Joey says. He was right. At just 6-foot-1, Joey earned a college scholarship, with pro potential. Then came the severe ACL injury at all-star camp the summer after his freshman year. Just like that, his basketball career was gone. “Sure, I cried. But then, I had to figure out how to survive,” Joey says. “If you’re in a burning house, you don’t crawl under the bed. You start knocking out windows until you find a way out. So, I started looking in every crevice of my being for any talent I thought I could develop if I worked hard enough.” He decided to pursue golf. Although he never played before, he believed that with his natural coordination and ability to solve puzzles, he would be good at the game. He started hitting balls on the driving range and logging hours on the course. In just one year, Joey accomplished the near-unheard-of feat of going from novice to pro-level golfer and was accepted into the golf management program at New Mexico State University. The thing is, he wasn’t surprised. “I think most of us are capable of more than we’re doing with our lives. We have so many more possibilities than we realize,” Joey says. “You just have to believe in yourself, and give yourself permission to dream.” Now, 19 years later, he is one of the top junior golf instructors in the country, making an impact on myriad young hopefuls every year. One of his original students was the then 8-year-old Jordan Spieth, now a top-ranked superstar on the PGA Tour. Although he still feels a rush when basketball season begins, Joey has nothing but gratitude for the way his life turned out so far. “Joey is a classic example of what Carol Dweck calls the ‘growth mindset’; he sees himself as someone who can learn, rather than someone with a finite amount of talent. He knew he could get better at things if he plugged away at them,” Rick Hanson explains. “He stayed focused on the opportunity, instead of avoiding the pain of being knocked down again.” In short, Joey achieved incredible outcomes because he was willing to take on the risk of dreaming big dreams. The Strength to Love Again Perhaps the most profound reality of human life is the fact that we all will lose someone we love. As Thomas Attig, Ph.D., wrote in The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love, “The central challenge for mourners is to move from loving someone who is present to loving them even though they’re absent. Death ends a life, but it doesn’t end the relationship.” Honoring that love while still moving on is a challenge that Julie Huỳnh-Ruskunderstands all too well. From the moment she met Liam, she knew that this striking Green Beret was “the one.” Two years later, the couple was engaged with a wedding planned after he returned from a six-month deployment in Afghanistan. Yet just weeks before his deployment ended, Liam was killed by an Afghan soldier the U.S. was training. Her first day alone, Julie couldn’t get out of bed. Then, she used her love as the catalyst to move forward. “I spent a lot of time thinking about Liam, and how he might want me to recover from this,” Julie says. “He lived life with such fervor that he never had a down moment. To honor him, I had to try to make something meaningful out of it all.” She did everything she could to heal: books, therapy, grief seminars and connecting with military peer mentors who had suffered a similar loss. “I realized that, even with all the support around me, I had to find my way myself,” Julie says. Julie decided that the best way to honor Liam was to fulfill the dreams they had together. So, with an urn of his ashes in tow, she went solo on hikes, climbs and excursions, scattering a little part of him as she worked her way through their bucket list. Every adventure brought a little more healing, a little more independence. She got a new job, and in time, even became open to the idea of dating again. But, it was difficult to talk about Liam with people outside the military, or the fact that he would always be a part of her life. On a skydiving trip to mark the second anniversary of Liam’s death, everything changed. That’s when she met Shane, a skydiving expert and Green Beret who accompanied her on the jump. “He was so easy to talk to. He understood what I went through as only someone in the military could,” Julie says. The two never stopped talking. Ultimately, honoring Liam was the very thing that led Julie back to love. “So often, people are afraid that if they stop grieving for someone, they’ll forget that person, so they stay stuck in sadness,” Randi says. Julie found a way to work through her grief without ever giving up her love for Liam. She honored his life by also moving on with hers. We All Have It in Us Loss, trauma and setbacks are inherent to the human experience. But, we also have the capabilities to grow from the pain, rediscover joy and live a happy life. “We are resilient creatures, we Homo sapiens. Deep down inside, we are tough critters,” Rick says. “If you tap into your own natural sturdiness and strength of character, and look for those little things you can do every day that help you recover, heal and redeem yourself, life will gradually get better.” Sometimes, better than you ever imagined.
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Healing from Pet Loss with Brittany Derrenbacher

Pets bring us a tremendous amount of joy, but their loss creates a deep sense of grief. This week, as we honor National Dog Day on August 26 and Grief Awareness Day on August 30, we’re looking at the complicated journey of pet loss. This week’s guest, Brittany Derrenbacher, has focused her mental health studies on the complicated journey of pet loss and is here to tell us more about how to navigate this journey. In this episode, you'll learn: The “3 G’s” of pet loss. Why it’s so important to acknowledge the loss of our pets. The role of gratitude in grief. Links and Resources Facebook: @lunabellsmoonbows Instagram: @lunabells_moonbows The loss of a pet can feel like losing a best friend or even a family member. This free four-week course will help guide you through the difficult emotions surrounding pet loss as we honor our pets’ memories, learn coping strategies, and begin to heal. Sign up for the Pet Loss & Grief Healing Workshop!  Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:           
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Terms Conditions

Terms & Conditions Home » Terms & Conditions The following Terms and Conditions govern your use of the websites or applications provided to you by Live Happy, LLC or one of its subsidiaries, and any content made available from or through these websites or downloadable applications (the “Sites”). By using the Sites, you accept and agree to these Terms and Conditions as applied to your use of the Sites. If you do not agree to these Terms and Conditions, you may not access, visit and/or use the website. Acceptance of Terms Live Happy, LLC (“Live Happy” or “we”, “us”, “our”) provides access to the Live Happy website,located at LiveHappy.com, and the Live Happy magazine website, located at LiveHappy.com, Live Happy Magazine: Digital Edition are subject to your acceptance of this website User Agreement(“Agreement”). BY USING the Sites, YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE READ THIS AGREEMENT, UNDERSTAND IT AND AGREE TO BE BOUND BY THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT. When using a particular feature of the Sites, you may also be subject to any posted guidelines,rules, privacy policies, or other contractual provision as noted. Live Happy may update this Agreement from time to time without prior notice to you. We encourage you to review this Agreement periodically for any updates or changes. Account and Password (a) You are solely responsible for all activities within your account under your password and username/email address. Your password should be treated with care and should not be disclosed to anyone. You cannot use your password or anyone else’s password for any unauthorized purpose. You indemnify Live Happy and its staff from all claims and liabilities made by a third party resulting from all activities incurred within your account. (b) In consideration of your use of the website you agree to: (i) provide true, accurate, and current and complete information about yourself as prompted by the website (the “Registration Information”); and (ii) maintain and update the Registration Information to keep it true, accurate, current and complete. If you provide any information that is untrue, inaccurate, not current or incomplete, or we have reasonable grounds to suspect that such information is untrue, inaccurate, not current or incomplete, we may suspend or terminate your account and decline to permit your continued use of the website and future access to the website. (c) You represent and warrant that you are at least 18 years old and are of sufficient legal age to enter into the binding legal obligations you may incur as a result of creating an account. You agree to be financially responsible for any liability you may incur as a result of using the website. Rights & Trademarks Unless where otherwise indicated and excluding User Content (explained below): Copyright © 2014 Live Happy, LLC. All rights reserved. All content of the Sites (including but not limited to text, copy, articles, photographs,illustrations, graphics, artwork, audio and video), code, data, statistics and all other content,information and materials made available on the Sites are our property. You use of the sites does not grant to you ownership of any content, code, data, information or materials you may access through the sites. All trademarks, logos and service marks displayed on the sites are our property or the property of other third parties. You are not permitted to use the marks without our prior written consent or the consent of such third party which may own the marks. Licenses We grant you a non-transferable, non-exclusive license to use the sites for your personal,non-commercial use. We also grant you a non-transferable, non-exclusive license to install and use the applications we make available for mobile and other devices, solely on your own device and for your personal, non-commercial use. Linking and Framing Policy (a) The sites may contain links to other websites operated by third parties. The linked sites are not underour controlandwe arenot responsible for their content. Such links do not implyour endorsement or guarantee of the products, information, or recommendations provided by any third party site.The third party site may have a privacy policy different fromours and may provide less security thanthis website.We disclaim all liability with regard to your access to such linked websites.We provide links to other sites as a service to users, and access to any other sites linked tothis websiteis at your own risk. (b) Any links to the Sites, when activated by a user, must display the website full-screen and not within a “frame” on the linking website. Further, the appearance, position and other aspects of the link must not be such as to damage or dilute the goodwill associated with the Live Happy name and trademarks or create the false appearance that Live Happy is associated with, approves of, or is a sponsor of, the linking website. Live Happy reserves the right to revoke its consent to any link at any time in its sole discretion. (c) Happiness Ambassador websites (explained below) may only be displayed at the assigned Happiness Ambassador URL (available at username.mylivehappy.com), and not within a “frame” on a URL purchased, licensed, acquired or otherwise used by a Happiness Ambassador. User Registration In the course of your use of the Sites and/or services made available on or through the sites, you may be required to register with the sites, in which case you will provide certain personalized information to us. Our information collection and use policies with respect to the privacy of such user Information are set forth in the sites’ privacy policy which is incorporated herein by reference for all purposes. You acknowledge and agree that you are solely responsible for the accuracy, content and confidentiality of your personal information, and we will not be responsible for misuse of your user registration by any third party, whether authorized or not. User Content Any information, creative works, demos, ideas, suggestions, concepts, methods, systems, designs, plans, techniques, photos or other materials submitted or sent to us (including, for example and without limitation, that which you submit or post to our articles, post to the Acts of Happiness wall, survey responses and/or blog, or send to us via email) is User Content. User Content will be deemed not to be confidential or secret, and may be used by us in any manner consistent with the Sites’ Privacy Policy. By providing User Content to us, you represent and warrant that the materials are original to you, that no other party has any rights thereto, and that any “moral rights” have been waived. You also grant us, our affiliates and other users of the Sites a royalty-free, unrestricted,worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive and fully transferable, assignable and sublicensable right and license to use, copy, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform, display and incorporate in other works any User Content in any form, media or technology, including for promotional and/or commercial purposes. Public Discussion Areas We do not necessarily endorse, support or agree with the comments, opinions or statements posted,sent or otherwise made available on or through the Sites, including in our social, community and public discussion areas. Any User Content posted, sent or otherwise made available on the Sites is the views and responsibility of the user and do not necessarily represent our views or the views of our affiliates, vendors and/or service providers. You agree that we and our affiliates, vendors and/or service providers are not responsible, and shall have no liability, with respect to any User Content posted, sent or otherwise made available on the Sites. Monitoring of User Content We reserve the right, but do not have an obligation, to monitor and/or review all materials posted to the Sites or through the Sites’ features, including in our social, community and public discussion areas, by users, and we are not responsible for any User Content. We may also remove or modify User Content, impose limits on certain features of the forums, restrict user’s access to part or all of the social, community and public discussion areas, terminate User Registration and/or report a user to law enforcement authorities if we believe the user is in breach of the guidelines set forth in our Terms and Conditions or applicable law, or for any other reason without notice or liability. Prohibitions on Use Any commercial or promotional distribution, publication or exploitation of the Sites, or any content, data, information or materials on the Sites, is strictly prohibited unless you have received the express prior written consent from us or the applicable rights holder. Other than expressly allowed in these Terms and Conditions, you may not copy, reproduce, modify, change, edit, crop, alter, revise, adapt, translate, enhance, reformat, remix, rearrange, resize, create derivative works of, move, remove, delete, erase, reverse engineer, decipher, decompile, disassemble, store, cache, aggregate, publish, post, display, distribute, broadcast, perform,transmit, rent, sell, share, sublicense, syndicate or otherwise provide to others, or use any content, data, information or materials on the Sites, in whole or in part. If you make other use of the Sites, you may violate copyright and other laws and may be subject to liability for such unauthorized use. You agree that while using the Sites, you shall not: Access and/or use another’s User Registration, or access, visit and/or use the Sites by use of another’s User Registration; Authorize or permit anyone to use your User Registration; Impersonate any person or entity or misrepresent your affiliation with another person or entity; Misrepresent or imply any affiliation, association or connection between you or another person or entity with the Sites, Live Happy, our licensors, vendors and/or service providers; Attempt to gain unauthorized access to other computer systems through the Sites; Attempt to gain unauthorized access via automatic, manual or other means to users’ contact or personal information; Use the Sites in any way with the intent to overburden, damage, disable or impair the Sites; Attempt to circumvent, reverse engineer, decrypt, alter or interfere with the Sites, services or content; Use the Sites in violation of any applicable law; Post, upload, transmit, send or otherwise make available through the Sites any materials which are fraudulent, deceptive, unlawful, threatening, abusive, harassing, libelous, defamatory,obscene, vulgar, offensive, pornographic, profane, sexually explicit or indecent; Post, upload, transmit, send or otherwise make available through the Sites any materials which constitute or encourage violation of any local, state, national or international law; Post, upload, transmit, send or otherwise make available through the Sites any materials which contain a virus, spyware or other harmful content; or Post, upload, transmit, send or otherwise make available through the Sites any materials which provide professional advice about medical, health, legal, tax, financial or investment issues; Offer to buy or sell any product or service on or through comments submitted in public discussion areas. Any prohibited activities may result in actions including but not limited to immediate termination of your User Registration. Anti-Spam Policy Live Happy strictly prohibits the sending of unsolicited bulk email (spam). Spam is defined for this purpose as sending messages similar in content to any persons, entities, newsgroups, forums,email lists, or other groups or lists unless prior consent has been obtained from the email recipient or unless there is a preexisting business or personal relationship with the email recipient. Live Happy also prohibits using false headers in emails or falsifying, forging or altering the origin of any email in connection with Live Happy and/or its products and services.Live Happy prohibits engaging in any of the foregoing activities by using the service of another provider, remailer service, or otherwise. If you or anyone you know is “spammed” by someone who is promoting Live Happy, its products or the Happiness Movement, please contact us promptly so that we make take appropriate action. 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We reserve the right, and your expense, to assume the exclusive defense and control of any matter for which you are required to indemnify us and you agree to cooperate with our defense of these claims. Merchandise, Products & Services We may make certain merchandise, products or services available to users of the Sites. You agree to pay all fees, applicable taxes and charges in full either by credit or debit card concurrent with your order or by other means acceptable to use. If payment is not received by us from your credit or debit card issuer or its agents, you agree to pay all amounts due upon demand by us. We may charge fees in advance and on a monthly, yearly or other basis. All fees are due promptly.You must notify us about any billing problems or discrepancy within thirty (30) days after they first appear on your statement; otherwise, you waive any right to challenge or dispute such problem or discrepancy. If there is a cancellation associated with fees charged in advance, such as with a Live Happy subscription, you will receive a prorated refund for any remaining fees. If you order any merchandise, products or services, you hereby represent and warrant that you are 18 years old or older. Product Colors and Descriptions We have made every effort to display as accurately as possible the colors of our products that appear at the Sites. We cannot guarantee that your computer monitor’s display of any color will be accurate. Additionally, some products have intentional variations in the color of the fabric, so products received may differ from those pictured. If a product offered is not as pictured, your sole remedy is to return it in new condition (unworn, unwashed, with all tags attached). Errors, Inaccuracies & Omissions Occasionally there may be information on the Sites that contains typographical errors,inaccuracies, or omissions that may relate to product descriptions, pricing, promotions, offers, and availability. We reserve the right to correct any errors, inaccuracies or omissions and to change or update information or cancel orders if any information on the Sites is inaccurate at any time without prior notice (including after you have submitted your order). If a product offered is not as described, your sole remedy is to return it in new condition (unworn, unwashed, with all tags attached). Third Party Sites & Ads The Sites may contain links to third party websites, services and advertisements for third parties. You acknowledge and agree that we have no responsibility for the information, content,products, services, advertising, code or other materials which may or may not be provided by a third party website. Links to third party sites do not constitute an endorsement, sponsorship or recommendation by us of such websites. You use all third party sites at your own risk. When you link to a third party website, the applicable third party’s terms and policies apply, including the third party’s privacy and data gathering practices. Any reliance on the contents of a third party website is done at your own risk and you assume all responsibilities and consequences resulting from such reliance. Copyright Complaints We respect the intellectual property of others, and we ask that people who use the Sites do the same. If you believe that your work has been copied in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, you may provide us with notice. The notification must be a written communication that includes the following information, pursuant to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, 17 U.S.C. sec. 512: A physical or electronic signature of a person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed; Identification of the copyrighted work claimed to have been infringed, or, if multiple copyrighted works at a single online site are covered by a single notification, a representative list of such works at that site; Identification of the material that is claimed to be infringing or to be the subject of infringing activity and that is to be removed to access to which is to be disabled, and information reasonably sufficient to permit us to locate such copyrighted work Information reasonable sufficient to permit us to contact you, including an address, telephone numbers and if available, an electronic mail address at which the complaining party may be contacted; A statement that the complaining party has a good faith belief that use of the copyrighted work in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; and A statement that the information in the notification is accurate, and under penalty of perjury, that the complaining party is authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed. FOR COPYRIGHT NOTICES ONLY Live Happy ATTN: Copyright Agent P.O. Box 645 Happy, TX 79042 Only copyright complaints should be sent to the copyright agent. No other communications will be accepted or responded to. Disclaimers The sites, including, without limitation, all services, content, functions and materials provided through the sites, are provided “as is,” “as available,” without warranty of any kind, either express or implied, including, without limitation, any warranty for information, data, data processing services, uptime or uninterrupted access, any warranties concerning the availability, playability, displayability, accuracy, precision, correctness, thoroughness, completeness,usefulness, or content of information, and any warranties of title, non-infringement, merchantability, or fitness for a particular purpose, and we hereby disclaim any and all such warranties, express and implied. We do not warrant that the sites or the services, content, functions or materials provided through the sites will be timely, secure, uninterrupted or error-free, or that defects will be corrected. We make no warranty that the sites or the provided services will meet users’ requirements. No advice, results or information, whether oral or written, obtained by you from us or through the sites shall create any warranty not expressly made herein. We and our affiliates also assume no responsibility, and shall not be liable for, any damages to, or viruses that may infect, your equipment or account of your access to, use of, or browsing in the sites or your downloading of any materials, data, text, images, video content or audio content from the sites. If you are dissatisfied with the sites, your sole remedy is to discontinue using the sites. We try to ensure that the information posted on the sites is correct and current. We reserve the Right to change or make corrections to any of the information provided on the sites at any time And without any prior warning. We neither endorse or are responsible for the accuracy or Reliability of any opinion, advice or statement on the sites, nor for any offensive, defamatory,Obscene, indecent, unlawful or infringing posting made thereon by anyone other than our authorized Employee spokespersons while acting in their official capacities (including, without limitation, other users of the sites). The content available on or through this service is in no way intended to and shall not be Construed to: (a) constitute professional medical, health, legal, tax or financial advice; (b) Recommend, endorse, or advise regarding any financial instrument or investment strategy; or (c) Diagnose, cure or treat anymedical, health or other condition. Always seek the advice of a Qualified professional. For example, seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health Provider prior to starting any new diet and ask your doctor any questions you may have regarding a Medical condition. Without limitation of the above in this section, we and our affiliates, licensors, vendors and/or Service providers make no warranties or representations regarding any products or services ordered Or provided via the sites, and hereby disclaim, and you hereby waive, any and all warranties and Representations made in product or services literature, frequently asked questions documents and Otherwise on the sites or in correspondence with us or our agents. Any products and services Ordered or provided via the sites are provided by us “as is,” except to the extent, if at all, Otherwise set forth in a license or sale agreement separately entered into in writing between you And us or our licensor, vendor or provider. Limitation of Liability In no event, including but not limited to negligence, shall we, our affiliates, or any of our Directors, officers, employees, agents or content or services providers be liable for any direct,Indirect, special, incidental, consequential, exemplary or punitive damages artising from, or Directly or indirectly related to, the use of, or the inability to use, the sites or the content,Materials and functions related thereto, your provision of the information via the sites, lost Business or lost sales, even if such protected entity has been advised of the possibility of such Damages. Some jurisdictions do not allow the limitation or exclusion of liability for incidental Or consequential damages so some of the above limitations may not apply to certain users. In no Event shall the protected entities be liable for or in connection with any content posted,Transmitted, exchanged or received by or on behalf of any user or other person on or through the Sites. In no event shall the total aggregate liability of the protected entities to you for all Damages, losses and causes of action (whether in contract or tort, including, but not limited to,Negligence or otherwise) arising from the terms and conditions or your use of the sites exceed, in The aggregate, the amount, if any, paid by you for your use of the sites or purchase of products Via the sites. Applicable Laws We control and operate the Sites from our offices in the United States of America. We do not represent that materials on the Sites are appropriate or available for us in other locations.Persons who choose to access the Sites from other locations do so on their own initiative, and are responsible for compliance with local laws, if and to the extent local laws are applicable. All parties to these terms and conditions waive their respective rights to a trial by jury. Termination We may terminate, change, suspend or discontinue any aspect of the Sites or the Sites’ services at any time. We may restrict, suspend or terminate your access to the Sites and/or its services if we believe you are in breach of our Terms and Conditions or applicable law, or for any other reason without notice or liability. If your access is restricted, suspended or terminated, by you or by us, we have no obligation to retain or remove any User Content from our Sites. Jurisdiction The Terms and Conditions, and the relationship between you and us, shall be governed by the law of the State of Texas, United States of America. You agree that any cause of action that may arise under the Terms and Conditions shall be commenced and be heard in the appropriate court in the State of Texas, County of Dallas, United States of America. You agree to submit to the personal and exclusive jurisdiction of the courts located within Dallas County in the State of Texas. Our failure to exercise or enforce any right or provision of the Terms and Conditions shall not constitute a waiver of such right or provision. If any provision of the Terms and Conditions is found by a court of competent jurisdiction to be invalid, the parties nevertheless agree that the court should endeavor to give effect to the parties’ intentions as reflected in the provision, and the other provisions of the Terms and Conditions remain in full force and effect. Changes to Terms and Conditions We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to change, modify, add or remove any portion of the Terms and Conditions, in whole or in part, at any time. Changes in the Terms and Conditions will be effective when posted. Your continued use of the Sites and/or the services made available on or through the Sites after any changes to the Terms and Conditions are posted will be considered acceptance of those changes. Contact Us If you have any concerns about the website or these Terms, please send an e-mail to customerservice@livehappy.com.We will make every reasonable effort to address your concerns and remedy any problems you bring to our attention. Happiness Ambassador Account The Happiness Ambassador Account a person who “joins the movement”. There are no costs or fees involved with creating a Happiness Ambassador Account. Happiness Ambassador Accounts may be accessed by logging in at LiveHappy.com. Happiness Ambassador Account Closures A Happiness Ambassador Account may be closed at our discretion if no Points are accrued during an 18-month period. Happiness Ambassador Account Activity We reserve the right to revoke, cancel or suspend any Happiness Ambassador Account, Reward and/or take other action at our discretion, at any time with immediate effect and without written notice,if we believe a Happiness Ambassador has (1) violated any of the Program Rules, (2) failed to pay any bills or accounts due to us, (3) acted in a manner inconsistent with applicable law,regulations or ordinances, (4) engaged in any misconduct or wrongdoing in connection with the Program, including without limitation, (5) violated any of the Terms and Conditions herein. Last revised on October 28, 2015
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Saved by a Song With Mary Gauthier

Singer songwriter Mary Gauthier has been changing the world one song at a time for the past 20 years. This week, Mary joins host Paula Felps to talk about her new book, Saved by a Song: The Art and Healing Power of Songwriting, which is a fascinating look at the healing power of music both for those who create it and those who listen to it. She also talks with us about her work with SongwritingWith:Soldiers and Frontline Songs, and how those organizations are using music to help individuals heal from the trauma they’ve experienced. In this episode, you'll learn: How Mary found her calling as a songwriter. Why music is so important to our mental health. How music is helpful in healing from trauma. Links and Resources Twitter: @marygauthier_ Facebook: @marygauthiersongs Instagram: @marygauthier YouTube: @officialmarygauthier Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:           
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A child holding a school book.

How Positive Education Can Help Students Flourish

When young people are given to the tools to find happiness within themselves as well as others, everyone wins Walt Disney used the noun “plus” as a verb, meaning to improve something that you are working on or already doing. I think that is what we have to do with education in all sectors. We need to “plus” it. We are living in some of the best times of humanity, as Steven Pinker has claimed in his recent book, Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress.“We live longer, healthier, safer, wealthier, freer, more peaceful and more stimulating lives than those who came before us,” Steven says in a recent New York Times interview. “And by ‘we’ I don’t just mean we in the West. This progress is encompassing the world.”At the same time, we live in volatile times: The future is uncertain, and the state of some of our institutions, our cities and movements is threatened globally. How do we work to ensure that we pass the baton to future generations with the best possible hope of continuing that progress? Talking to Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D.—a founder of positive psychology and positive education—a few years ago, he said, “We just need a time machine....” We were talking about how one could possibly engineer the “good life,” a life filled with meaning and purpose. How could one prospect one’s future? If you could have a time machine, you would be able to see the various moves and strategies you employed, the serendipitous path you lit out upon to thrive in later life. This is the question that educators, schools, colleges, universities, parents, students, policymakers and governments face. How do we engineer thriving, positive lives? If we could do that, we would indeed be able to change the world for the good. Positive psychology—its founding and expansion to fields such as economics, politics, neuroscience, cognitive science, sociology, anthropology and beyond—has begged the question, “Why are our institutions not positive?” This is most poignant when we think of our young people and their education. The various tragedies in U.S. schools and universities has brought this to the particular attention of our nation and the world: Why are schools not shaped with positivity, thriving and well-being at the core? Wouldn’t learning and results on standardized assessments be improved if all of our schools, public, charter and independent, focused with priority on the well-being of our students? Wouldn’t our children be safer and better prepared for their futures? The Promise of Positive Education Positive education proposes that at the center of institutions of learning are a set of interrelated components, PERMA, that have to be addressed as a matter of extreme priority in order to have educational organizations that help students thrive. PERMA stands for: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and accomplishments. Seligman suggests that if we could suffuse these elements more convincingly and intentionally in all of our educational organizations, not only would we have better learning outcomes, but more importantly, we would have better life outcomes for everyone leading to a better society. “But our schools and universities are doing a great job,” educators around the world claim. And it is true that on some metrics, schools around the world show student improvement on standardized assessments, but at what cost? Obviously, it depends on what you are measuring. At the same time, there is a massive increase in global mental health problems and opioid abuse across all ages in the United States. Even our social media platforms that claim to “do good” or “connect people” are correlated with users’ increased depression, flawed critical thinking and decreased well-being. Something seems terribly wrong. It is as though at some point we took a wrong turn that made it appropriate to define our value as human beings via a grade, a score or the number of followers we have. We have also come to believe that learning is just hard and is a game, rather than a lifelong endeavor of self-improvement and, although by necessity is “desirably difficult” at times, is also joyous. We have become distracted from seeking a capacity for a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives and have become obsessed with credentialing and capitalistic gains rather than humanistic success. Innovation to Stand the Test of Time So, how do we resolve this? I think the answer is simple. We recalibrate our entire system of education globally through positive education. This is already happening in many places all over the world. However, these are small sparks, prompted by individuals and institutions interested in how to translate valid cognitive science and social science research into everyday practices in schools and universities. For positive education to work it needs to become the norm; it needs to be just good education. Too much of what happens in our learning centers is through an ever-accelerating cycle of trends that crash upon schools like waves crashing against the shore. These “waves” have an effect, and then the effect disappears to be followed by yet another new set of waves of innovation. Positive education needs to be the norm. It needs to be a matter of a shift of assumptions and beliefs that permeate all school and university environments. We have to believe that to learn well, we need to tend more effectively to the social and emotional well-being of our young people. If we could put that at the center of what we do in all of our educational institutions, we would have better learning, better citizens, better corporations, better countries and a better world. Why is this so difficult? It is because the older generations, people like myself, in my fifties and in charge of schools and school systems, still believe that well-being is secondary to learning rather than a means to it. In order to change that view, we need to assure the elements of PERMA have primacy in the culture of all of our educational organizations. We need to prize the development of character strengths and ethical decision-making as equally important as the development of literacy and quantitative understanding. We need to ensure that our teachers and professors model the very social and emotional capacities and maturity we seek to develop in our students. We need to figure out more effective ways to provide good formative feedback to our students about the development of their moral and character development just as much as we provide feedback on their intellectual and academic development. In the past, I have felt that these issues and a global call for a positive education movement were more of a call to educators and to our students. More and more, I think that this is a matter of broader justice. It is a matter that is pertinent to all of us as global citizens. It is a way to save a world that is perhaps on an errant path. We need to work on increasing the potential of our youth in every country, which would be a worthwhile thing to do as we have seen through the young people in Parkland, in Malala Yousafzai who is fighting for girls’ education worldwide and in the activist voices of young people globally who are fighting oppression while seeking both justice and opportunity. Instead of being focused on GDP or even global happiness, we should be focused on a PERMA index with parents, governments, schools and universities seeking to work in concerted and collaborative ways to increase the PERMA in their own country and others. This is something that need not be debated infinitely since it is pragmatic, backed by science, and, I believe, within grasp for every individual and organization that has enough wherewithal to look positively to the future and ensure the thriving of our young people. We need to “plus” education, thereby “plussing” our countries and the world. We all need positive education. This article originally appeared in the October 2018 edition of Live Happy magazine. Dominic Randolph is the sixth Head of School at the Riverdale Country School, a Pre-K–12 independent school in New York City, and a founder of the Character Lab and Plussed+
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A woman meditating on a couch.

Putting the Om in Home

How rethinking your home design can make you happier. Rebecca West knew that if she was going to move forward with her life, she had to stop looking at her past.“I had gone through a divorce and I was going on with my life, but every day I was waking up in the house I shared with my husband,” says Rebecca, who lives in Seattle. “Every day, I was waking up and looking at my history. I realized that I couldn’t keep doing that.”So Rebecca began her journey of turning what had been “their” dream home into a launching pad for her newly solo dreams.“I painted a lot of things pink and bought a twin bed,” she recalls with a laugh. “I made a lot of horrible design choices, but at least I was looking at my future instead of my past.”Rebecca focused on making her home completely reflective of her hopes, interests and imagination. She created not just a customized nest, but also the perfect place to regain her happiness. Happy at Home As Rebecca healed and her space once again became her happy place, she “moved into colors that weren’t so man-repellent,” fell in love again, ditched the twin bed and eventually remarried. She also discovered more than she expected to during her foray into refurnishing; she found a calling to help others transform their homes to create a happier environment. “I realized that being happy in your space really depends on what you need in life. It changes for each person and it changes throughout our lives. The key is to think about what is happening in your life and what you want for your life,” she explains. “What energy are others [in the family] bringing into the house?” Today, Rebecca is a certified design psychology coach, interior designer and author of the book Happy Starts at Home: Getting the Life You Want by Changing the Space You've Got. Through her company Seriously. Happy. Homes. she takes a unique approach to help clients find happiness in their living spaces, focusing less on trendy design styles and more on each person’s spiritual and emotional path. Her approach begins with a guided meditation to help clients get clear on what they really need from their homes. “It doesn't throw out that instant appeal that interior designers are going for, but sometimes it changes the focus,” she says. “Wanting to be proud of your space is good,” but trying to make it look like it fell out of the pages of Architectural Digest may not help your cause. “The focus should be you,” Rebecca says. “You should be the one who smiles when you come in. Happiness in your home does not require perfection.” Happier by Design While interior designers and architects are long-time advocates of how the appearance of a space can influence emotion, psychology and neuroscience are still catching up with the science to explain it. The relatively new field of neuroaesthetics studies how viewing art and colors and design affects our brain activity, while the equally fledgling field of embodied cognition looks at how the environment around us shapes our cognitive capacity. In other words, we now realize that the space around us has a strong influence on our emotions, but we’re not fully aware of what it all means. In his 2006 book, The Architecture of Happiness, British philosopher Alain de Botton looked at the way our surroundings—the colors, the chairs, the walls and the way they are arranged around us—can have a profound effect on the way we feel. “An ugly room can coagulate any loose suspicions as to the incompleteness of life, while a sun-lit one…can lend support to whatever is most hopeful within us,” he writes. The Psychology of Space Using what we do know about how design affects happiness can help us make our homes more satisfying, Rebecca says. She has seen clients make dramatic personal changes just by altering the space they live in. “If you love where you live, it makes you feel happy just to come home,” she says. “If you’re frustrated by it, that’s going to increase your anxiety and stress and embarrassment on a daily basis. There are so many things that we don’t have control over; taking control over our homes is something we can do.” Psychologist Stacy Kaiser says the effects of changing your surroundings can be profound and lasting. Your daily environment may be contributing to your stress in ways you don’t realize, while living in an environment that you find appealing has an ongoing therapeutic effect. “As human beings, we are emotionally impacted by our surroundings,” she explains. “If they are peaceful and calm, it invites peace within us. If our surroundings are stressful or disorganized, it can create discontent.” That discontent spills over into your emotional state and can color your view of seemingly unrelated things; it can even begin to affect relationships. So you might be surprised how one small change—such as finally covering up a dent in the wall or freshening up a room with a coat of paint—can have a greater effect on your happiness. “Our mood will affect our behavior, so do what you can to fill your home with colors and objects that evoke positive moods and feelings,” Stacy recommends. She suggests creating a wall or space within your home that showcases special moments and joyful memories with items like photos, ticket stubs, trophies and other memorabilia that will give you an instant boost. “Then, when you need an emotional lift, spend more time in that space.” Tips for a Happier Home Rebecca West’s go-to solutions for redesigning your home for happiness: Ditch the design magazines. This isn’t about living up to someone else’s standards; it’s about creating what works for you. Add light. Most rooms benefit from more light, and brighter spaces make you feel happier. If you don’t have enough overhead lights, get a lamp. Or two. Keep what you love. Ditch what you don’t. Do what you can. So you can’t afford new bedroom furniture? Get new sheets. Can’t foot the bill for new living room furniture? Spring for some throw pillows. Small changes can have big payoffs. Embrace the power of paint. Adding a fresh color you love or even just updating with a fresh coat of the same color can reinvigorate the room. Check out our latest interview with Rebecca West on the LiveHappyNow podcast. This article originally appeared in the October 2018 edition of Live Happy magazine.
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Live Happy's Positive Lessons from the Pandemic

Positive Lessons From the Pandemic

Although much has been researched and written about how the COVID-19 pandemic has affected mental and emotional well-being around the globe, most of that research has looked at its negative effects. During the International Positive Psychology Association’s (IPPA) Seventh World Congress last week, held virtually for the first time, some of the world’s leading positive psychology experts shared the lesser-known ways the pandemic has had positive outcomes for individuals and for society.Dr. Antonella Delle Fave, professor of psychology at the University of Milano in Italy, offered the keynote presentation, “Eudaimonia: Lessons from the COVID-19 Pandemic,” providing insight into some of the lesser-publicized effects of the pandemic. Her research looked at how factors such as resilience and social support affected individuals.The studies clearly show the importance of good mental health, she said.“Mental health was shown to play a protective role against PTSD,” she reported, referencing a study that indicated 33% of people considered themselves to be flourishing during the pandemic, while 9% landed in the “languishing” category. The rest of the survey respondents fell somewhere in between those two extremes.“People who were languishing were at higher risk of developing PTSD during the pandemic. Positive mental health was a predictor of less severe symptoms.” Building Resilience Individual resilience showed a direct correlation to such things as depression, anxiety and stress in countries around the globe. But those who practiced healthy, resilience-building skills fared far better than those who did not. For example, studies from Norway and the U.S. showed that people who participated in physical activity were less susceptible to depression and anxiety. Other factors found to bolster resilience included support from family and friends, proper sleep habits and prayer or meditation. “Resilience seems to be one of the primary resources across nations and populations,” Delle Fave noted. “Studies around the world are in agreement about the positive role of resilience in well-being and the negative correlation between low resilience and anxiety.” Discovering Happiness Based on Delle Fave’s research, the people who were able to thrive and flourish during lockdowns looked at the pandemic through a different lens. That not only allowed them to feel more at ease in the moment but often created lasting change in their lives, such as: Many people reevaluated what was important in life, such as being healthy and having social support. They also reevaluated how they spent their time and what was valuable to them. This led to rediscovering lost interests, changing their relationship with work and becoming more self-aware. A large number of people strengthened relationships with their family and friends. “People who increased their social connections saw higher levels of wellbeing in all countries,” Delle Fave said. “What this showed us was that interaction with family and friends mattered. Social support was an important contributor to wellbeing.” Steps to Well-being Other researchers looked at specific ways people maintained their well-being and built resilience during the pandemic. A study headed by Lea Waters of the Centre for Positive Psychology, University of Melbourne in Australia identified several interventions that were shown to be successful in managing the stress and uncertainty of the pandemic. They included: Finding meaning. Having meaning in life helps buffer the effects of adversity and has both physical and psychological advantages, Waters’ report shows: “People who report higher levels of meaning in life also are happier, express more frequent and strong positive emotions, endorse and use their character strengths more, have more satisfying relationships and are viewed as more desirable potential friends, help others more, feel better subjective health, report fewer health symptoms [and] have better functioning immune systems.” Practicing self-compassion. Treating oneself with kindness is an effective way to cope with high-stress situations, and that proved true during the pandemic. People who practiced self-compassion during the pandemic reported less fear and a greater sense of emotional safety. Creating a gratitude practice. One study conducted during the pandemic showed that many people were grateful even during the pandemic. Over 56% of respondents reported being grateful, which ranked higher than any other positive emotion, such as happiness or hope. And it was a strong predictor of happiness after the pandemic. “The more grateful people were, the more they reported positive self-changes. This is important because people can increase their levels of gratitude with simple practices such as journaling.” Implementing such practices can have a significant effect on how well an individual manages such adverse conditions as, say, a global pandemic, and Waters said she hoped the research would provide a path forward to help individuals increase their resilience and wellbeing in a post-pandemic world. “[We] hope that the cultivation of these outcomes continues beyond this crisis and leads to sustained positive outcomes,” she said.
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