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Do the Anxiety Detox

As we continue with 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, anxiety expert Karen Cassiday, Ph.D., addresses the most common issues that come up in the middle of a worry detox. It is easy to start a journey and easy to finish once you are close to the end. The difficult part is what happens in the middle when you’ve lost your initial enthusiasm but are not in sight of your final goal. The pitfall of overconfidence This middle zone is challenging for several reasons: If you experienced some initial success, you might have gotten overconfident and stopped doing the very behaviors that led to that success. For example, if you were following my six steps for overcoming worry, you probably started feeling better. Then you may have decided that you no longer needed to keep track of your thoughts, avoid reassurance-seeking or attempt worry exposure. Big mistake! Remind yourself that the best way to keep worry in check is to turn the skills you’ve learned so far into part of your daily mental hygiene. Too busy to stop worrying I have really enjoyed working with Live Happy art director Kim Baker. Kim explained how her hectic life has occasionally kept her from strictly adhering to the worry detox. This offers a great illustration of something else that gets in the way of worry management skills when we are in the middle zone: Kim has gotten caught up in the tyranny of the urgent—when work deadlines, family matters and other immediate needs take precedence over what might, in the long run, be most important, learning to conquer anxiety. Kim has great intentions to overcome her anxieties, but sometimes convinces herself in a busy moment that it is better to manage the little details and to spend her energy trying to get everything done in an ideal way than to slow down and identify what real problems need to be solved. Double the worry, double the stress When you worry you inevitably end up doing two things at once: the task you intended to do and the task of thinking about all the things that could go wrong. You double the effort it takes to live each moment while guaranteeing an unnecessary focus upon disaster. Worry and reassurance-seeking make you feel as though you are avoiding potential disaster when in fact you are being taken away from fully living in the present and fully meeting the demands of the present, regardless of whether it is a pleasurable moment or a tragic moment. Lastly, science shows us that it takes one to two years to change a habit into an automatic behavior. Be prepared for recovery to take time, to involve some slips and ultimately to be well worth the effort. To see Karen's recommendations in action, read coaching subject Kim Baker's blog here. Listen to Karen discuss How to Manage Negative Thinking on our podcast, Live Happy Now. Karen Cassiday, Ph.D., is president of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and a leading expert on the treatment of anxiety.

How to Get to Sleep and Stay Asleep

Dr. Michael Breus, Ph.D., troubleshoots your sleep treatment. We are halfway through the 90 Days to a Happier You challenge to change our habits and live better in 2016. Perhaps you've been following the advice from sleep expert Dr. Michael Breus's previous post, 6 Steps to Better Sleep. Here he addresses the most common issues that come up for patients going through his sleep treatment. Q: How do I know this treatment will work? A: These suggestions have been developed by clinical psychologists and tested in sleep clinics throughout the world. About 75 percent of chronic insomniacs have been shown to benefit from these procedures, with a 50 to 60 percent improvement in the time it takes someone to fall asleep and helping people stay asleep. This is not a magic cure, but it will help you take control of your sleep and deal with future sleep problems you encounter. However, you must follow the suggestions consistently, every night, in order for them to be effective. In many studies, when patients followed the treatment only “selectively,” their sleep remained poor. Q: Regarding the sleep deprivation part of the program, I’m reluctant to postpone my bedtime until I’m tired because I don’t want to miss the most refreshing portion of a night’s sleep. How can I avoid that? A: Although deep sleep (the most nourishing sleep) usually occurs during the first part of the evening, it will always occur first, no matter what time you go to bed. What you miss is usually REM sleep, which is not as crucial. Q: I can’t stay awake until my prescribed bedtime. What should I do? A: Start by making a list of activities that will keep you engaged until the right bedtime and then refer to the list when you are feeling sleepy. For example, you can do something physical like exercise, cleaning or walking the dog. You can catch up on emails or balance the checkbook. Do not, however, do something passive such as read or watch a movie, as this will only put you to sleep. Q. What should I do if I can’t fall asleep once I’m finally in bed or I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep? A: If you’re unable to fall asleep within 20 to 30 minutes, get out of bed. This isn’t a punishment because you can’t sleep, it is a way to re-establish the association of sleep with the bedroom. Lying in bed trying to sleep only increases anxiety and frustration, which makes it harder to sleep. If it is too cold, have a robe sitting on the foot of the bed or an extra blanket. If you do not know what to do when you get up, make a list of possible non-stimulating activities to do during the night (for example, reading, prayer, letter writing, watching a pre-taped relaxing movie, listening to soft music, meditating, etc.) Do not try to schedule your day, do anything physical or get on the computer—these are too stimulating. Q. But what if, as soon as I do get out of bed, I think I’m going to fall back asleep any minute? A: To avoid more restlessness and frustration in bed, you want to be sure your sleep drive is, in fact, strong enough to allow you to fall back asleep within a few minutes. A good rule of thumb, the amount of time you’re awake before you get out of bed is the time you must stay out of bed. For example, if it takes you 25 minutes to get up and out of the bed, then you shouldn’t go back to sleep for 25 or so minutes—or until your body clearly tells you that you are very sleepy (see below). Q. Once I get out of bed, I’m afraid I’ll stay up all night and never get back to sleep. What should I do? A: The longer you stay up the quicker you will fall asleep when you return to bed, providing that you stop worrying about your sleep. It’s important to be able to recognize when you are getting sleepy. For example, are your eyelids heavy? Your limbs heavy? Are you beginning to yawn a lot? If so then it’s time to return to bed. Q. Can I sleep in on weekends? A: It is incredibly important that you wake up at your prescribed time consistently. Insomniacs are notorious for messing up their biological clocks. This is how you can fix it. First of all get an alarm clock if you don’t have one. Get a few and place them around the room. Have your partner wake you. Exercise with someone in the morning, lift the shades and get some light. Schedule activities that will make you get out of bed. Whatever works for you, but you must wake up at the prescribed time every day. Q: What if I fall asleep in other places besides the bedroom? A: This is common for insomniacs. As much as you can, try to get back to the bed to sleep; remember we are trying to associate the bed with sleeping. Q: I like to read or watch TV before bed. Why should I stop? A: For some people, reading or watching TV is sleep-inducing. Try this test: When you read or watch TV, how long does it take you to fall asleep? If it is more than 30 minutes, it is highly unlikely that this activity is helping you sleep. Is it your partner or you who likes this ritual? If it’s your partner, try to get him or her to let you take the TV out of the bedroom, at least until you can get your sleep back under some control. Is the bedroom the only place you or your partner can do these things? Try to identify other places where the two of you can read together or watch TV. The bedroom should be reserved for sleep. Dr. Michael Breus, Ph.D., DABSM The Sleep Doctor ™ thesleepdoctor.com To see Michael's recommendations in action, read sleep intervention "subject" Shelley Levitt's blog here. Listen to Michael himself explain how to overcome chronic insomnia on our podcast! Michael Breus, Ph.D., is a diplomate of the American Boardof Sleep Medicine and a fellow of the American Academyof Sleep Medicine. His books include Good Night: The Sleep Doctor's 4-week Program to Better Sleep and Better Health and The Sleep Doctor’s Diet Plan: Lose Weight Through Better Sleep.

Stop the Blame Game

As part of Live Happy’s 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, we’ve gathered experts from around the country to help us—and you!—change habits and live better in 2016. In the second part of her blog series, communication expert Michele Gravelle explains how to prevent blame from mucking up difficult conversations. If you’ve been following along with Live Happy contributing editor Susan Kane and me on the 90 Days challenge, perhaps you’ve set your own goal for better communication. You’ve started journaling and paying attention to what you are thinking, feeling and not saying in your conversations. You are inquiring and empathizing—and yet you find yourself still getting triggered or inadvertently triggering the other person. Now I want to talk about what you can do to get back on track and navigate through the tough spots. A common challenge One of the most common pitfalls that keeps us stuck in our old behaviors is blame. In almost all difficult conversations, there is an undercurrent of, “I’m right, you’re wrong—and if you would just stop doing what you’re doing, then I would stop being upset with you and we wouldn’t be having this hard time.” In essence, we are saying that the current challenge is the other person’s fault. We need to take a very honest look at our thoughts and behaviors to uncover our not-so-hidden message of blame, because even though we may believe we aren’t openly blaming the other person, if we are thinking it or feeling it, then I guarantee that message is leaking into the conversation, and that’s what the other person is reacting to. As an example, let’s look at Susan’s situation with her daughter Coco. Susan sometimes feels that her daughter speaks to her disrespectfully, and this has been an ongoing challenge. I think all of us who have lived through those teenage years with our kids can relate. It’s easy to think, “I’m the parent, they are the child, they need to treat and talk to me with respect. If they would stop being so disrespectful, then I would stop being so angry with them.” In theory, that makes sense. However, the underlying message that the teenager hears is, “This is your fault,” which, of course, acts as a trigger and causes the child to be even more volatile and defensive. How to turn it around When we make our kids (or anyone else) responsible for our feelings, we are then forever waiting for them to change in order for us to experience peace of mind or happiness. A better approach is to take responsibility for your own state of mind and feelings. Not only will this allow you to feel better, it also takes the blame out of your message to your child and allows you to model the exact behavior you would like them to adopt. Here’s a sample of what a non-blaming conversation might sound like: Child speaking to parent: “I hate you! Why do you always stick your nose in everything I do? Just leave me alone.” Parent: (Instead of saying “Don’t talk to me that way”) “Sounds like you have something on your mind?” Child: “No, I just want you to let me have my own space.” Parent: “What is it I’m saying or doing that is most frustrating for you?” Child: “Everything!” Parent: “Ok, if you were going to coach me to be a better parent, what is one thing that you would like me to do differently in the future when I’m curious about how your day was?” Child: “Let me decide when and what to tell you, instead of bombarding me with questions the minute I come home from school.” Parent: “I’ll work on that and if I forget and start asking you too many questions, I would like you to say, ‘Mom, remember, we agreed that you wouldn’t ask so many questions.’” Takeaways This conversation may seem a little unrealistic for those of you who are in the middle of raising teenagers. Your inner voice may be saying “Yeah, right, my son/daughter would never talk like that.” However far-out it might sound, there are some key lessons to learn here: Notice that in each turn of the conversation, the parent responded to the child with inquiry, not blame. The parent asked for specific coaching. Your kids have all kinds of useful advice to give you. When you ask for their input, it raises their self-esteem and demonstrates that you value and respect their ideas. The parent is modeling that they want to learn and in the process they are offering their child choices in the conversation. These conversational moves work with everyone—not just between parents and kids. Next time you find yourself stuck in a conversation and feel that you’ve gotten off track, stop and ask yourself how you might covertly be blaming the other person. Or, simply ask the other person, “What do you see me doing in this conversation that’s not helpful?” Asking your conversation partner to give you feedback in the moment is a powerful move to make and if done sincerely can yield valuable information and rebuild trust. Want to hear more about communicating with loved ones from Michele? Listen to her discussing positive communication on our podcast here. To see Michele's recommendations in action, read communication coaching "subject" Susan Kane's 2nd blog here. Michele Gravelle is an experienced executive coach, communications expert and consultant with The Triad Consulting Group. She also facilitates executive education programs at the Harvard Negotiation Institute and Duke Corporate Education, and is a contributing author to the book Enlightened Power: How Women Are Transforming the Path to Leadership.

Self-Care

8 Great Happiness Perks You Get From Exercise

Even if you’ve never experienced the elusive runner’s high, you probably know exercise can make you happier. Scientific research has shown there are countless connections between mind and body; to simplify a complicated process: exercise boosts dopamine and other chemicals in the brain that make us feel happier. What’s more, many kinds of exercise can put us in a wonderful “flow” state, which is one of the hallmarks of well-being, according to positive psychology. Beyond happy chemicals, though, here are eight more surprising ways exercise makes us happier. 1. Leads to achievements When we have a goal, we become more engaged with life and excited about the future. Whether it’s jogging your first mile without stopping or exercising three times a week, having a goal initially sparks enthusiasm, and then making progress toward that goal really fuels our commitment and makes us feel good. It may even motivate us to plan and accomplish other goals! 2. Creates “me” time Picture your exercise time as a mini-retreat for some healthy “me” time. We often think of “me” time as sitting by a fire with a cup of tea or reading a book, but a good sweat session can help you let go of stress, increase your energy and think with clarity. Even on those days when you aren’t in the mood to move, you will always feel better after you exercise, because when you feel fully charged, it’s much easier to be happy. 3. Retains your quality of life as you age Staying in good cardiovascular shape and using your muscles can help prevent injuries and illness as you age. It also can help you with everyday movements (functional fitness) that involve lifting, carrying, bending and stretching as you get older. Retaining your quality of life is an essential ingredient to your future happiness. 4. Pushes you beyond your normal limits Whether it’s going to a spin class, signing up for your first 5K or doing yoga for the first time, exercise is an opportunity to challenges yourself—to do something that scares you simply for the sense of exhilaration you’ll feel. When you do something outside your comfort zone, you may just surprise yourself with your abilities and gain an incredible sense of satisfaction and pride. 5. Leads to social connections Gym memberships, group fitness classes, charitable walks and running groups are all opportunities to connect with others, which is big when it comes to happiness. Be a part of a healthy group of friends and watch your mood soar. 6. Inspires those around you Let your actions speak for you. Lace up your sneakers, trot off to the gym or take a long bike ride. Your children will notice. Show your kids that physical activity is something you value and they will value it as well. Plus, you never know who else you might be inspiring, such as a parent or coworker. 7. Builds up your self-confidence Doing what you set out to do and sticking with it is the fastest way to invest in your self-confidence. Savor the amazing feeling of making exercise a habit, getting stronger or enjoying clothes again. As your muscles grow stronger, so will your self-esteem. 8. Brings out the kid in you Remember the days of running around outside for hours and coming in smelling of fresh air? Tap into that childhood freedom by finding an exercise that feels more like play, whether it’s a game of pick-up basketball or a joyful Zumba class. Added perk? You will sleep like a baby. Read more: Healthy From the Inside Out: 5 Tips to Get Fit Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.

Self-Care

Bethany Hamilton Rides a Wave of Purpose

Bethany Hamilton’s dramatic story is full of fortitude, faith and the power to overcome fear. At age 13 in 2003, the young surfing phenom was spending a carefree Hawaiian day in the water paddling to catch a few waves when a 14-foot tiger shark attacked, severing her left arm at the shoulder. At that moment, any dreams of surfing professionally could have been washed away with the tide, but true grit, determination and her trust in God set Bethany on a positive path to prove to the world that nothing could hold her back. Now, more than a decade later, Bethany is surfing professionally and encouraging young girls to overcome adversity to follow their passions. Bethany's busy new life Life has certainly changed for Bethany, but in her opinion, for the better. She has found true love in her husband, youth minister Adam Dirks, and the couple recently celebrated the birth of their first child, Tobias (the one event that has kept her out of the water for more than a month). She is working on a film project about her sport that she hopes will become one of the best female surf documentaries to date. Her life is full, and she will always follow her passions. She says Adam keeps her balanced when things get too lopsided, and he watches the little one while she sneaks away to catch a few waves. The couple’s faith and awareness ground them, and their priorities of love and family are firmly in place. The silver lining “I look back on the shark attack, and I don’t think negatively toward it,” Bethany says. “I kind of see it as something good because of all the good that has come out of it since. I look at the different trials in my life and how it has shaped me as a person or encouraged me in my faith.” Less than a month after her attack, she took second place in the 2003 National Scholastic Surfing Association’s championship and has been consistently ranking in competitions every year since. She credits her resilience to her strong Christian faith, which gave her the courage to get back in the water, and her supportive family, who always told her to never look back. It's in the genes “My parents have always raised me that way.…It’s been a long time since that initial accident happened, and there have been so many trials since then,” she says. “My mom definitely encouraged me to find things to be thankful for on rough days and just look for the good in tough situations.” That is a family dynamic she aims to repeat. “I really hope to be involved in my kids’ lives every single day, and love on them in the morning and love on them at night and all throughout the day.” Giving back Losing her arm, she adds, has given her the opportunity to love and help others. Her story has resonated with so many people. She’s received myriad awards, including ESPN’s ESPY for Comeback Athlete of the Year in 2004 and a Heal the World Award in 2012; she has been the subject of a major motion picture, Soul Surfer, in 2011 (based on her best-selling autobiography), and regularly speaks to groups to encourage and inspire others, including young girls and fellow amputees. A chance to inspire young girls Now in its third year, Bethany’s annual Beautifully Flawed Retreat is an event where young girls who have experienced a limb loss can get together in a loving environment and relate to one another. “It’s always fun to talk with people with different physical challenges,” Bethany says. “I find some kind of camaraderie between us. We can relate to each other on a whole other level.” Hosted by Bethany; Lauren Scruggs, who survived a plane propeller accident; and the Friends of Bethany Hamilton organization, girls can learn about fitness, fashion and how to overcome the physical and mental challenges amputees face every day. Bethany’s passion for helping others overcome issues of self-image even inspired her in 2014 to write the book Body & Soul: A Girl’s Guide to a Fit, Fun and Fabulous Life, encouraging young girls to live in a confident and healthy way. Bethany has always been a happy and joyful person. We have much to learn from her example: Find your purpose, have faith and love one another completely. Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Self-Care

3 Steps to Keep the Goals You’ve Set

As we continue with the 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, happiness coach Caroline Miller explains how to stick with your goals once you’ve committed to them. When we attempt to accomplish a goal, adopt a new habit or change a behavior, it is absolutely expected that we will hit some speed bumps along the way. The important thing is not to get discouraged and give up altogether. In fact, researchers have dubbed the third Monday of January “Blue Monday” because it is considered one of the saddest days of the year. Why? Mainly because people have fallen off their New Year’s resolution goals by that point. I have rarely, if ever, worked with someone who set a goal and then accomplished it easily, or who didn’t have occasional self-doubt or discouragement. If you set hard goals outside your comfort zone, it’s inevitable that you will struggle. The definition of grit is “passion and perseverance in pursuit of long-term goals,” and researcher Angela Duckworth, who created The Grit Scale, says that grit means there will be failure, dark nights and a desire to quit during the accomplishment of long-term goals—which is why grit is considered “the secret to success.” So embrace the fact that you will be discouraged from time to time—you’ll be stronger for it!— but use the following tips to help boost your resilience when you fall. 1. Possible obstacle: Willpower fatigue Research tells us that willpower is a limited resource and that it can be depleted if we try to tackle too many self-regulation goals at one time. For example, don’t try to stop drinking, stop smoking and start a vigorous exercise program all at once because all of these things involve will power and delaying gratification, and your will can only take so much at once! Solution: Make sure that you only pursue one or, at most, two self-regulation goals at a time. Chris Libby, the Live Happy editor following my goal-setting program, is a great example. First, Chris found that getting up earlier in the morning drastically reduced last-minute chaos at home. Because of that, he was able to start running again in the morning. Doing both (getting up earlier and running) at once would have been overwhelming, but getting up earlier to get organized, and then adding a run, made it easier to stick with his new habits. 2. Possible obstacle: Unstable social support system Now that you are undertaking a change, if you notice that family members, friends or colleagues are discouraging you either subtly or openly, limit your exposure to them, including phone and email. Research shows that the only one “right” way for a friend to respond to your positive goal or good news is with curiosity and enthusiasm. Solution: Spend more time with people who are pursuing, or who have achieved, the goals that matter to you. You may need to spend time with different people if those around you are not happy, encouraging and curious about what you’re doing. Limit your exposure to their attitudes and words. 3. Possible obstacle: Less-than-ideal environment for success Marketers understand and use the research on “priming” the environment in order to encourage you to think the way they want you to think, or buy what they want you to buy. This is done through clever use of colors, words, songs, aromas and pictures that make you want to eat grilled cheese sandwiches, buy homes that are out of your price range or wear a watch that indicates your success. I always encourage clients to stop being “asleep at the wheel” about how our lives are being shaped by outside forces and instead to prime their own environments to enhance their chances of achieving their goals. Solution: Take a look at whether or not you are filling your day with prompts that are positive and optimistic. If not, think about making a collage of pictures on the front of your refrigerator of a scene that makes you drive harder when you want to quit. Or make your cellphone ringtone a song that makes you feel hopeful and determined. Unsubscribe from every e-newsletter or periodical that causes you to think unwelcome or negative thoughts. Set yourself up for success in your everyday life and you will be a lot less likely to quit at the halfway point. You’ll sail all the way to your final goal. Want more? Listen to Caroline discuss Setting Career Goals on our podcast, Live Happy Now. Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP, is a professional coach, author, speaker and educator. Her book, Creating Your Best Life, is the first evidence-based book to connect the science of happiness with the science of goal-setting. Caroline gave an acclaimed TEDx talk on grit in 2014, a topic she will cover in her upcoming book, Authentic Grit.

Self-Care

Chair Yoga for Everyone

As a yoga teacher I am privileged to instruct friends and family from time to time. However, when it came to teaching my parents it was a different story. With assistance they were able to make it to the yoga mat, but it just was not comfortable. That motivated me to find something better for them. I decided to get certified in Chair Yoga, which I now teach several times a week! A growing need We have a culture of people sitting more than ever, both at work and home. As the baby boomer generation ages, members seek wellness activities that fit their needs. Chair yoga is a wonderful way to stay healthy, and it can be done anywhere—at work, home, on a bus or even a plane. It can help with many different health issues, including rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, Parkinson’s disease and many chronic pain issues. Chair yoga is beneficial because it helps to strengthen muscles, increase balance and gain flexibility without causing strain. In addition, it helps with body awareness, mindfulness and relaxation while incorporating gratitude in daily life. Read more: The Healing Power of Restorative Yoga Bringing it all together A variety of exercises and practices used in chair yoga assist the body and mind. Chair yoga incorporates breathing exercises to increase body awareness and oxygen in the blood. Ball therapy enables people to perform self-massage, especially of the feet, which might be hard to reach otherwise. “Brain dancing” uses a sequence of movements that requires mental focus and improves coordination. Laughter meditation and other mindfulness techniques help guide participants to find joy in the present moment. Chair yoga classes tend to create a consistent community (kula) of dedicated people who attend regularly, which further enhances everyone’s happiness. Teaching with gratitude Teaching chair yoga has given me the chance to serve a population for whom yoga on the mat is not an option. After every class I see positive effects. Participants have lessened their anxieties, fears and worries. They leave with smiling faces, eyes full of hope and lightness in their step. Witnessing the change fills me with gratitude for the gift of being present while teaching and learning at the same time. Read more: Yoga on the Go Alka Kaminer is a blogger, photographer and yoga instructor in New York. Find out more about Alka at PresentWisdom.com.

Podcast Work

Setting Career Goals with Caroline Miller

In this special podcast series we have partnered with top well-being experts to help coach five members of our Live Happy team on how to make better choices and build habits that lead to more fulfilling lives. Through this series we'll tackle life-changing topics such as improving communication with others, managing negative thinking, overcoming chronic insomnia, setting life goals and learning to unplug from work. In this episode Live Happy magazine Science Editor Paula Felps talks with Caroline Miller who has been a pioneer with her ground-breaking work in the areas of goal setting/accomplishment, grit, happiness and success. She is recognized as one of the world’s leading positive psychology experts on this research and how it can be applied to one’s life for maximum transformation and growth. What you'll learn in this podcast: The science of goal-setting The link between happiness and success How to cultivate the mindset and behaviors that can create grit Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Find out more about the 90 Days to a Happier You project Read about Chris Libby and his journey to better goals Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!

Practice

33 Ideas on Play

People with a healthy amount of play in their lives are more likely to be motivated, optimistic and fulfilled. Plus, we all know what happens when you have all work and no play. Here are 33 things to watch, do, ponder and listen to in order to make your life a little more fun. 1. “Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”—Dr. Seuss 2. Read Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Stuart Brown, M.D. 3. Watch PBS’ The Promise of Play. 4. Listen to “Upside Down” by Jack Johnson. 5. Host a game night. Try Apples to Apples. 6. “Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun.” —Randy Pausch 7. Read Hop, Skip, Jump: 75 Ways to Playfully Manifest a Meaningful Life by Marney K. Makridakis. 8. Watch The Cat in the Hat. 9. Listen to “Ain’t It Fun” by Paramore. 10. Throw a tea party with your kid. 11. “A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” —Roald Dahl 12. Read Play Matters by Miguel Sicart. 13. Watch The Toy. 14. Listen to anything by The Wiggles. 15. Climb a tree. 16. “If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.” —John Cleese 17. Read SuperBetter: A Revolutionary Approach to Getting Stronger, Happier, Braver and More Resilient – Powered by the Science of Games by Jane McGonigal. 18. Watch Sesame Street: 40 Years of Sunny Days. 19. Listen to “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper. 20. Lie in the grass; dance on the sand. 21. “Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wrong with it.” —Jimmy Fallon 22. Read Play, Playfulness, Creativity and Innovation by Patrick Bateson and Paul Martin. 23. Watch Zorba the Greek. 24. Listen to “Born to Dance” by Alastair Moock. 25. Surround yourself with playful people. 26. “Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.” —Kay Redfield Jamison 27. Read Play and the Human Condition by Thomas Henricks. 28. Watch Big. 29. Listen to anything by ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic. 30. Tell a joke or two. 31. “Play is the highest form of research.” —Albert Einstein 32. Chase butterflies. 33. Come back in February for 33 ideas on well-being.

Self-Care

4 Foods to Build a Better Brain

In my work as a physician who focuses on mental health, I get to help people become healthier and happier. By cultivating gratitude, mindfulness, good sleep habits and getting regular exercise, people can build more joyful lives. And increasingly, the evidence shows that what you eat directly impacts how happy—or unhappy—you are. Over the past decade, researchers have repeatedly found that a junk-food diet is strongly correlated with the risk of mental health problems, particularly depression, dementia and attention deficit disorder. The converse is also true. For example, a large study from the University of Navarra in Spain followed healthy university students for more than four years and reported a 42 percent decreased risk of major depression for those who most closely adhered to a Mediterranean diet (rich in seafood, leafy greens and whole grains). Feed your brain This makes a lot of sense. Your food contains the building blocks of brain cells. A brain cell creates electricity and reaches out to connect and communicate with thousands of other cells. Because these cells are the most specialized ones in your body, your brain demands more energy and nutrients than any of your other organs—20 percent of everything you eat! It might sound a bit sensational to say that food can give you a bigger brain, but that is exactly what Australian researchers have found. The area of the brain called the hippocampus, which is involved in learning, memory and emotions was significantly smaller n individuals who ate a “Western diet” (full of processed and fried foods and simple sugars) in the study of 255 individuals ages 60 to 64 who were followed over four years and assessed with MRI brain scans. Read more: 4 Great Ways to Use Your Superfoods Food is the best medicine My favorite foods to prescribe combine to make a little rhyme: seafood, greens, nuts and beans…and of course a little dark chocolate. These foods form the core of the recipes in my new book Eat Complete: 21 Nutrients to Fuel Brain Power, Boost Weight Loss, and Transform Your Health. They contain a key set of nutrients that your brain needs to run optimally: B vitamins, long-chained (complex) omega-3 fats, minerals and phytonutrients (nutrients from plants). Let’s spend a moment thinking about “psychofarmacology” and the benefits of my favorite foods: Kale and other dark, leafy greens exemplify the rule of nutrient density: A cup of raw kale delivers 684 percent of the recommended daily allowance (RDA) of vitamin K, 206 percent of vitamin A, 134 percent of vitamin C, more iron per calorie than beef and a form of calcium that is more absorbable than that in milk, all for 33 calories. Read more: 3 Steps to Better Eating Mussels and other bivalves (clams, scallops, oysters) illustrate the attributes of seafood, offering an excellent source of long-chained omega-3 fats, vitamin B12, and numerous minerals. Six oysters deliver 509 percent of the RDA for zinc, 272 percent of vitamin B12, and 522 mg of combined omega-3 fats for just 57 calories. They are also high in protein and offer a third of the RDA of iron, selenium and vitamin D. My favorite foods to prescribe combine to make a little rhyme: seafood, greens, nuts and beans…and of course a little dark chocolate." 1. Almonds and nuts show us the importance of “good fats” and healthy snacks. Almonds are the top source of vitamin E, low levels of which are highly correlated with depression—a concerning fact, since 96 percent of Americans don’t meet the recommended daily allowance. 2. Lentils, beans and other legumes offer plant-based sources of protein and add more fiber to our diet—two important ingredients for happiness. One cup of lentils contains 90 percent of your daily need of folate, a B vitamin used to make serotonin and dopamine, two key brain molecules involved in mood, focus and cognition. 3. And now dessert! Dark chocolate possesses some magic molecules. In a recent study from Columbia University, researchers reversed age-related memory decline using extracts of cacao. 4. Go fermented. We are beginning to understand that the bacteria in your gut dictate much about your physical and mental health. So get some fermented foods like yogurt, kefir and sauerkraut into your diet. Plus, swap out simple sugars and refined carbohydrates for complex carbs found in whole foods (an apple versus apple juice). Eating for happiness means voting for brain health with each bite. These tips will help you get more of the brain-essential nutrients you need to feel your best. Dr. Drew Ramsey is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. Drew uses the latest findings in brain science to help people live their healthiest, happiest lives. His forthcoming book, due out in April, is Eat Complete: The 21 Nutrients that Fuel Brain Power, Boost Weight Loss, and Transform Your Health.

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