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Follow along with the transcript below for episode: Easing Back-to-School Anxiety With Dr. Laura Phillips [INTRODUCTION] [0:00:02] PF: Thank you for joining us for episode 427 of Live Happy Now. It's time to go back to school, and for some kids, that means a whole lot of stress. I'm your host, Paula Felps, and this week, I'm talking with Dr. Laura Phillips, the Senior Director in the Learning and Development Center at the Child Mind Institute. Laura specializes in working with children who have learning disorders, mood disorders, and anxiety, among other things, and she's committed to improving the social, emotional well-being of children and adolescents, so she's sitting down with me today to talk about how going back to school can create anxiety for kids of all ages and how it can also affect their parents. Then, she's going to tell us what we can do about it. Let's have a listen. [INTERVIEW] [0:00:47] PF: Well, Laura, thank you so much for coming on the show today. [0:00:50] LP: Thank you so much for having me. [0:00:52] PF: I wanted to talk to you, because back to school is on the minds of everybody, kids, parents, shopkeepers. We tend to, at this time of year, focus on the excitement of the new school year and all the great things, but there is a lot of research that shows that children are more anxious than ever about going back to school. I wanted to talk, first of all, and find out what you're seeing. [0:01:14] LP: I think, children are more anxious than ever, unfortunately, about everything. I think back to school is a transition which tends to be anxiety-provoking for children, particularly those who experience anxiety. The last three years, each transition back to school was anxiety-provoking, because kids didn't know what the year would look like in the fall of 2020. We had kids who were doing full-time remote instruction, hybrid instruction. Some kids were back in classrooms for the first time since the previous March, so that was really anxiety-provoking. Then the following fall, there was increased return to the classroom, but still some – I mean, really significant changes from what normal school looks like. Then there were really young kids who never really knew what normal school looked like, because they hadn't had a normal school year, because of where they were when COVID hit. The past couple of years, the back-to-school transition, I think, was anxiety-provoking, because kids didn't really know what that would look like. This year, we seem to be out of that pandemic phase, so it's a more normal return to school this year than I think the past couple of years had been. But that's with an atypically anxious population of kids and teenagers. As you said, general rates of anxiety are higher than ever before among our teenagers and children, and that's true for mood disorders as well. We have a group of kids and teenagers who are coming up, who are just really struggling from an emotional perspective. [0:02:42] PF: What is the biggest cause of that anxiety? Because I do hear a lot more about anxiety, and I don't think it's just because we're more aware of it. I think there's a greater amount of it. [0:02:54] LP: I think that's right. It's really not just COVID. This isn't a COVID relic, although I don't think that the pandemic helped, but we really did see these trends, rising rates of anxiety and mood disorders preceding the pandemic, and really dating back really to the mid-2000s. I think that there are a lot of things. I think that a really big contributor is social media. We have kids who are constantly connected to one another and to the world. That can take a hit on their self-esteem, because there's just this constant comparison game that's taking place and FOMO and the unkind behavior that used to end at 3:00 tends to follow kids now home at the end of the day, because there's just constant connection. There's also just constant information. The world is a scary place. I think that kids are really acutely aware of it, because there's a 24-hour news cycle and because of their constant access to information through social media and being on screens. They're hearing about school shootings. They're hearing about racialized violence. They're hearing about global warming. There's a lot of reasons for kids to feel nervous about the state of the world. There's also a lot of pressure on kids, which I think comes from very well-intended parents who also have a lot of concerns about the state of the world. They want to feel like they have some control over their children and their children's future. There's a lot of pressure put on kids to have academic success. From very early on in kids' school years, they're hearing that how important it is to do well in school and to get into a good college and to get a good job. Free time is pretty limited now, because kids are really involved in a ton of programming. Some of which is really good, but I think that downtime is really important, both from a mental health perspective, but also from a cognitive development perspective. I think that there are a lot of factors contributing to the rising rates of anxiety. [0:04:51] PF: For parents, how do they press pause on some of that? Because you want to keep up, and your child wants to keep up. They want to know what's going on with social media. Even though it's challenging and anxiety-provoking, they don't want to miss out on it. How do you take them away from that a little bit and find some mental health breaks? [0:05:15] LP: It's really, really hard. I don't envy parents of children who are old enough to have screens. I have very young children. I have a four-year-old and a one-year-old, and I am not looking forward to the day when my child asks me for a cellphone, or a Facebook account. Because to your point, you don't want kids to miss out, and that is the way that kids are connecting with their friends. That is the way that kids are staying in contact when they're outside of school. That's the way that they're making plans, and so you don't want your child to be isolated, or pulled out of that. But parents need to be monitoring. They need to be aware of who their kids are talking to, what they're talking about. There is a role for restrictions on certain types of programming, or access to people through programming, so you can certainly, you can restrict who kids talk to, and they can only talk to people if you're approved. I mean, there are ways to put in place restrictions on kids' access to screens and social media. But you said mental health break. I think that a break is also really, really important. Not just for kids and teenagers, but for adults too, and I wish that I practiced what I preached. But I talk to parents all the time about, really, we talk about screen contracts, or social media contracts, so coming up with a plan for when and how and for what purposes these devices will be used before giving children the privilege of having a phone, which having a cellphone really is a privilege, which I really try to reinforce with parents a lot. It's a privilege that they have the right to remove if these devices are being abused, or if kids are not following the rules that are set out for them in order to safeguard them and also, to protect their mental health. But within those contracts, should also be designated break times. There should be times throughout the day that kids are not on phones. I think that dinner time and I mean, families have obviously different schedules and different opportunities to be together for dinner. Meal time should be a time ideally where everybody, not just children are putting away their phones and really using that time to come back and connect with one another. The bedroom, designated so to screen-free times of day, also screen-free zones within the house, or the apartment. Maybe the bedroom is a place that we at least after a certain hour of the day, because certainly during the day, kids are going to insist that they need access to their phones and their screens. But maybe after 8:30 p.m., everyone turns in their phones and then there's just designated blackout time for screen media. I think that kids and adults really do need a break, and there's a lot of really compelling research showing mental health benefit of having designated time away from screens. [0:07:55] PF: Then how can you use that time at dinner to connect and find out what's going on at school, what's going on with them, and this is a two-parter, because a child isn't necessarily going to tell you in words, “I'm being picked on. I'm being bullied. I'm not happy. I don't feel comfortable.” How do you use that time at dinner and how do you get into what is really going on? [0:08:16] LP: Well, I mean, anytime you're talking about uncomfortable things, you want to ask open-ended questions. You don't want to ask leading questions and you don't want to plant affect, or emotional experiences into kids' minds. You don't want to say, “Are you nervous about your first day of school tomorrow?” You might want to ask them, “How are you feeling about starting school tomorrow and really see what they bring to you?” Yeah. I mean, kids may not come out and tell you how they're feeling. They might not tell you that they're feeling nervous, or scared, or if they had an unpleasant experience in school. You want to watch carefully for some red flags that we know kids tend to show when they are experiencing something that makes them feel uncomfortable. Changes in affect, changes in behaviors, if you're seeing increased irritability, reduced frustration tolerance, kids are having meltdowns more frequently than, or more easily than they tend to have. If you're seeing changes in sleep patterns. You're noticing that kids are having a hard time falling asleep, they're waking up in the middle of the night, they're waking up earlier in the morning, if they're more clingy than usual, somatic symptoms, so physical complaints like headaches, stomach aches, fatigues, etc., are all really good signs that something might be going on that's making your child feel uncomfortable, which can then be a reason to prompt that conversation either during dinner, or a really good time to have conversations about things that are difficult are when you're doing other things, but also have to be – you're forced together time, like a car ride to school. You're trapped inside a car, but you're also not looking directly at one another, which can make it a little bit easier sometimes for kids to open up about what's feeling uncomfortable for them. Car rides to school. Walks to school. If you have a younger child, bath time. I get a ton of information when I'm giving my younger child a bath. [0:10:00] PF: It's better than an interrogation, right? [0:10:02] LP: Right. I mean, you're together. It's again, it's like this forced together time, but it doesn't feel like an interrogation, because you're in the middle doing something else and you just happen to bring up. My daughter. I'm sorry, I keep bringing up my child, but she's about to – [0:10:15] PF: All good. [0:10:17] LP: - her deep-water test. Rather than saying, “Are you nervous with your deep-water test?” We might say something like, “What's happened? What are you thinking about swimming tomorrow?” Something very benign, something open-ended, and just see what happens to come up. In those moments where kids might be a little bit more willing to share information, rather than if you go into their room and say, “I want to have a conversation with you right now about going back to school tomorrow.” [0:10:42] PF: That's intimidating. [0:10:43] LP: Right. Exactly. Yeah. [0:10:46] PF: If a child does show signs of anxiety about going back to school, how do you differentiate between, this is just jitters of starting a new school year and something unfamiliar? Or there's actually an underlying anxiety situation? [0:10:59] LP: Yeah. That's a really good question, because back to school jitters, I mean, there's a term for it, because it's very common thing. A lot of kids really do feel – it's very normal to feel a little anxious, nervous, jittery at the start of a new school year. Some of that is really excited anticipation also. But you would expect those nerves, if it's just back-to-school jitters to dissipate within a couple of days of that new school year beginning. When we talk about, how do I know if this is something more, I like to talk about frequency intensity, duration, and impairment. The duration piece can be really important in this particular example. Again, if those signs of nervousness, or jitteriness persist beyond those first couple of days of school, and you're seeing more frequent occurrence of either worry thoughts, or stomach aches, or difficulty sleeping than normal, more intense occurrence of those symptoms than normal, and that they're starting to have some functional impairment, like my child is expressing that he doesn't want to go to school, then that suggests that this is more than just typical back-to-school jitters. [0:12:03] PF: Then the question, of course, is what do you do about it? Because when I was growing up, they're like, “Oh, just wait it out.” They're like, “Work through it.” There are better ways, I am sure to do it than just toughen it out. What does a parent do if they realize that their child is very anxious and that it's more than just a couple of days type of thing? [0:12:28] LP: Yeah. You seek support. I mean, I would – teachers are a wealth of information about how your kids are doing during the day they're on the ground. I might reach out to it. I might start by reaching out to a teacher, or if there's the dean, the head of the middle school who might have broader view of your child, because they may have known them over the course of a couple of years. I might reach out to them and say, “Are you noticing anything different? Johnny has been complaining of stomach aches really frequently and that's not very typical for him. I'm wondering if you're seeing anything in school.” I would I would look to teachers for as a really important source of information about how kids are doing during the day. They're usually your mental health professionals on site in school. Whether that's a school counselor, or a school psychologist can be another really second point of contact, either to help check in with your child during the day, or guide you towards whether it might be time to seek support outside of the school system with a mental health professional in the community. [0:13:27] PF: In our conversation, we're talking more about younger children, because, well, teenagers are a whole different ballgame. Once we get to that, they're not talking to us anyway. How do parents start monitoring that tween and teen situation and differentiate between what's just the moodiness of a teenager and an actual problem that's going on? [0:13:51] LP: I think parents have a long view of who their children are, if they're seeing really acute changes that that's suggested it's more than typical moodiness associated with hormone change and development in teenagers. But the same things. It is normal for kids to be a little bit grouchy and hard to wake up in the morning. But if they're refusing to get out of bed, if they're showing sleepiness during the day, if they're insisting that they need to take naps during the day, or if they're indicating that they don't want to go to school, I mean, the more intense communication of these impairment, I think parents would notice. [0:14:33] PF: Okay, that's really good. I guess, the same rules apply. It's like, understand when you need to seek outside help. [0:14:40] LP: I don't think that kids want to feel uncomfortable. I think that they might not know that there's a way for them to feel differently and they might be concerned that there's something wrong with them. Admitting that they need help can be scary. But normalizing it can be a really good way to get a teen to seek out professional help. [0:15:01] PF: Okay. What about children who are either ignored, or bullied in the school environment? That's as a parent, I can't imagine watching my child go through either of those situations. There's only so much that you can do. How can a parent help a child who's dealing with either of those? Then, how do you set them up for success and start changing things for them? [0:15:26] LP: It's really hard, because you also want to, as you said, you can't imagine it. I think that that's something that's really hard for all parents to watch their children go through feelings that their child is being mistreated, or feels uncomfortable, or unsafe in school triggers a lot of anxiety in parents themselves. You want to be really mindful of putting your own anxiety and discomfort onto your children, because then they have the double whammy of not only is school hard for me, but mom is also really upset about this, too. You want to be really careful in how you broach these conversations. You again want to ask open-ended questions about how they're feeling in school, rather than putting the affect into their minds. Like, “Are you nervous about going back to school tomorrow?” Were you going to sit with all your own racing thoughts that you might have? Leave those out of this. When they do communicate to you what they're feeling, you want to validate those feelings without reinforcing those feelings, without reinforcing the fear. You can say, “I understand you're feeling really nervous about the first day of school. I bet a lot of other kids are feeling that same way.” You don't want to say, “Of course, you're feeling nervous. Who are you going to sit with?” Listens to their own concerns. At the same time, if you know that there's something challenging for them, don't start the conversation with that. If you know that they feel nervous about finding someone to sit with at lunch, when they come home from school that first day, don't say, “Who did you sit with at lunch?” You want to start with something that's going to make them feel more positive about how those first days back at school have gone. The big thing is, I think there's this real desire, there's this urge for parents to take away their children's anxiety, either by dismissing it, or telling them these social struggles don't matter. “When you get out of school, you're going to look back at these days and you won't even remember them and you're going to have so many friends.” That's not helpful. Keeping them home from school. If they express that they don't want to go to school, because they're worried about who they're going to sit with at lunch, or they're worried that they're going to be made fun of, keeping them home from school is not helpful, because that's also just reinforcing their own fear. The goal really should be helping them learn how to cope with and tolerate the discomfort, or cope with the anxiety, manage those big feelings and learn skills to manage those anxiety provoking situations, rather than removing those anxiety provoking situations. Practicing with them, or problem solving. Let's think of some people that you can try to sit with at lunch tomorrow. Let's think of some conversation starters. Practicing, coming up with a script for how they might approach a new person in their class, some questions that they can ask and then you can practice asking those questions. Really, the anticipation of the anxiety provoking situation is the hardest part. You want to prepare kids for what those situations look like, previewing, actually visualizing what it looks like to walk into a big cafeteria with a lot of kids around, some of whom you know, some of whom are unkind to you. Another group who hopefully, you can feel comfortable approaching and then actually walking them through what it looks like to go up to a friend and ask if you can sit with them and practicing using their brave words to try to break into a social group. Previewing, practicing and also expressing really positive but realistic expectations about those fear situations. You can't promise your child that first day of school is going to be great. They're going to make a ton of friends. Because that may not be the case, it might be and you should anticipate that for kids who have social anxiety, or who have historically been bullied, first days back to school can be really stressful and challenging and they might have a couple of bumps in the road. You don't want to promise them anything that you can't deliver. You don't want to promise them that those first days of school are going to be easy. You don't want to promise them that they'll have a ton of people to sit with and talk to at lunch. But you do want to imbue in them the confidence that you have that they'll be able to get through it. You can validate, “Yes, this is going to be a – this can be a scary experience and I have faith that you can get through it. This is how we're going to do it.” You're communicating your faith and your confidence in them, validating their feelings and also giving them some tools and practicing using those tools. [0:19:46] PF: Then as they're going through those first few days, if it's not going well, if they are having a very tough time, how do you give them a soft landing when they get home? What are some things that you can do? You can't take away what has happened, or hasn't happened at school, but how can you balance out the day for them and make it less miserable, less uncomfortable for them? [0:20:08] LP: I mean, exactly what you said. You want to give them a soft landing. You want to be very positive. You want to ask questions about things that you know that they enjoy and really try to shine a light on things that were positive about those first days back at school. School is highly structured and highly scheduled. I think that especially in those first couple of weeks, trying to make sure that weekends at least have a lot of unstructured, or unscheduled time, so that kids can feel like they have some control over how they're spending their time. I mean, school is very, very heavily dictated for them during the school day. Giving them some sense of control, some sense of rest and decompression and sensory relief on weekends can be really, really helpful for kids to recuperate after having highly stimulating and stressful days back at school. [0:20:59] PF: There's another sector that we haven't talked about and that's college students going back to school. Only they're going off to school maybe for the first time. I have a gentleman who I know and he had twin sons and they went to separate colleges. One of them is very outgoing and went there and thrived, and the other one is very introverted and ended up coming home during the school year, because he couldn't handle it. How do parents prepare their children for going off to college? [0:21:28] LP: It's the same thing. You want to really help them preview. You can't take away the experience, but you want to help them preview, problem solve, practice how they're going to engage in those situations. I mean, ideally, there might be a person or two that a teenager knows at the school that they're going to, that they can try to connect with and a step, just that they have one safe person. If you have one safe person to go around with and start to meet new people, that can be really, really helpful. If you can find a way to arrange for a meet up with someone, just that there's a familiar face, that can be really, really helpful. Then just talking through, really helping them understand what those first couple of weeks at school might look like, and helping them problem solve can be really, really helpful. Again, validating that this is a new experience, that this is something that could trigger a lot of discomfort in you, and this is how we're going to deal with it, and I believe that you can get through it. [0:22:24] PF: Let them know, it's okay not to be okay, I guess. [0:22:26] LP: It's okay to not be okay. [0:22:29] PF: Then parents, they're also starting to get a little stressed, back to school, because and it's not just the shopping. I know it changes parents’ routines. They've been able to take it a little bit easier without having to carpool and commute with the children and drop them off. What can parents do? As now we get more demands back on our time, what are some great ways for them to approach back to school and breathe and make it a joyous time for everybody? [0:22:56] LP: Yeah. I change in routine is usually a positive one, because there's so much structure and routine that's associated with school. Well, I mean, it might take a minute to get back into that routine, but once you're in the groove and actually, there's something very safe that the school year provides to kids and families in really, the structure and the predictability that the school schedule provides. Yeah. I mean, if you're going from not having to manage carpool and early wakeups and making lunches, etc., there's definitely a lot that parents have to remember how to do. I would say, start early. The whole family, you really want to get people back into that school routine, at least the school schedule, at least before the first day. Start thinking about getting kids to go to bed earlier, waking kids up earlier in the morning and really getting back into the routine of mom and dad are making breakfast, or caregivers, or someone's making – we want to make sure that we're setting up that structure of the school day of where we're getting dressed, we're having breakfast and we're practicing, or thinking at least about what it means to get out the door on time. You want to make sure that you're pulling together school supplies earlier. You don't want to be racing the night before to find the right size binder that your teacher wants for your math class. Just to the extent that you can really do as much in advance those couple of days right before school starts don't feel as hectic. Just to the extent that that parents can really try to prepare earlier, rather than later, or getting back into school routines, starting to, I said, pull together materials, managing parents own anxiety. Thinking about what it is that they're feeling nervous about, whether it's the social piece, the academic piece, the time management piece and managing that outside away from children. I mean, children are so unbelievably perceptive. They really pick up on parent energy. It can be hard to do. But to really try to be mindful of your own emotions and your own level of stress when you're talking to kids about going back to school, because you don't want to put your own anxiety and stress onto children. [0:25:06] PF: Right. When is it a good idea, maybe even for a parent to get some outside help, talk to somebody about it, if they're having trouble managing at all? [0:25:17] LP: This is a Herald confluence quote. “That self-care is child care.” Parents cannot be the parents that they want to be if they themselves are struggling with anxiety, or feeling overwhelmed, or depression. When parents are noticing that they're having a hard time being fully present, it's important for them to take a step back and figure out what it is that they need. Whether they need to seek professional help, or it's just about carving out more time for themselves to exercise, to get sufficient sleep, to connect with friends. That's not selfish. It actually helps make parents better parents, if they're to the extent that they're managing their own anxiety and stress, they can be more available to support their kids through stressful situations. [0:26:01] PF: That's excellent. Laura, you've given us a lot to think about, a lot to learn, and I'm going to tell our listeners how they can find you, find your work, find the Child Mind Institute, and learn more about what you all are about. Thank you for coming on today. This is enlightening, very important topic. I know it's on top of mind for a lot of people right now, so thanks for taking time to sit with us. [0:26:21] LP: Thanks so much for having me. [OUTRO] [0:26:27] PF: That was Dr. Laura Phillips, talking about alleviating back-to-school anxiety. If you'd like to learn more about her work and the Child Mind Institute, just visit us at livehappy.com and click on the podcast tab. Of course, if you're looking for some uplifting cool t-shirts for your child to wear back to school this fall, be sure and check out our selection at store.livehappy.com. That is all we have time for today. We'll meet you back here again next week for an all-new episode. Until then, this is Paula Felps, reminding you to make every day a happy one. [END]

Follow along with the transcript below for episode: Why Finland Is So Happy With Heli Mende [INTRODUCTION] [00:00:02] PF: Thank you for joining us for episode 414 of Live Happy Now. We've been talking about Finland being the world's happiest country for several years. But this week, we're getting an insider's view on why it's so happy. I'm your host, Paula Felps. This week, I am sitting down with Heli Mende of Visit Finland. She talks about how the country is embracing being named the happiest country in the world for six years in a row. That designation has inspired them to offer a happiness master class, and also has helped Finns realize and appreciate some of the things they had taken for granted. Heli talks to us about happiness, Finland style, including the value of connecting with nature, and importantly, the role that saunas play in the country's overall well-being. Let's have a listen. [INTERVIEW] [00:00:49] PF: Heli, thank you for joining me on Live Happy Now. [00:00:52] HM: Thank you for having me. [00:00:54] PF: I'm so excited to talk to you because we at Live Happy have been talking about Finland for years and, honestly, from the beginning of our existence. So it's so wonderful to be able to talk to someone about happiness and Finland. Why don’t you start by telling us what your position is? [00:01:10] HM: Yes, of course. So I'm working for Visit Finland, which is the National Tourist Board of Finland, and I'm based in New York City. So my responsibility is to promote Finland here in North America. [00:01:22] PF: Well, I think the happiest country in the world makes it a lot easier to promote it. [00:01:26] HM: Yes. It certainly has been helping my job. So every year, we have been waiting to see the ranking. Now, for six years, we have been the happiest country in the world. So it is quite amazing, I have to say. [00:01:39] PF: It’s so interesting because at Live Happy, when we talk about happiness, we're not talking about that euphoric jump up and down kind of happiness. We're talking about overall well-being and a content lifestyle. Would you say that that's what you have in Finland? Or how do you define happiness in Finland? [00:01:56] HM: I would definitely, and I think all my fellow citizens agree with me when I say this. The happiness for us is about being content with your lives, so contentment about your everyday life, about the fundamentals in your own country, about the importance of nature, how we see that as part of our happiness. Those things are. We're quite down-to-earth people in Finland. [00:02:19] PF: Yes. All the Nordic countries do well. Is there a similarity in how you live and how you think that is making those countries all rank so high every year? [00:02:31] HM: Yes. There definitely are lots of similarities between the Nordic countries, and our societies are very similar as well. We have the similar basic fundamentals in place, I mean, in the universal healthcare. Good education system is free for everybody. Low corruption rates and very low numbers of homelessness, for example. So those things are very similar in all the Nordic countries. Of course, Finland has been ranking best in all those indexes now for the past years. [00:02:58] PF: Is there a rivalry between the country? So you go to Sweden and say, “Hey, look. We beat you again.” Or how does that work? [00:03:05] HM: I don't think we really rival about the happiness. I think the rivalry with Sweden is about ice hockey. That’s where it gets quite intense. [00:03:15] PF: Yes. It's probably best to keep it that way, I guess. You don't want to fight over happiness. [00:03:18] HM: No. [00:03:19] PF: So with the countries being so similar, what is it that you think makes Finland keep coming out on top every year? [00:03:26] HM: That is a really good question. I think we Finns are kind of baffled even about this title. Especially during the first couple of years, we're like, “What, seriously? I mean, if we are the happiest, how bad are the other guys doing? Can this be true?” Now, I think after six years, we have sort of learned to believe the results. But we're still kind of trying to contemplate why and what makes us the happiest country in the world. The report is ranking the countries based on certain indexes like said earlier Finland is doing really well in all those indexes. So we just happen to be the best in those. Then they also base the ranking on interviews of the citizens of each of the countries. It seems like also Finnish people are really, really content what they have in our country. So, yes, I can't really tell you any one specific thing. Maybe there are a couple of things that could make the difference. First of all, we have this really, really close relationship with nature, which I know that also the Nordic fellow citizens share. But for us since, it is such a big part of our lifestyle that is so rooted in our thinking. That might be something that we are even more extreme in Finland than in other Nordic countries. I'm not sure. Then we, of course, have the Finnish sauna. [00:04:50] PF: Oh, the saunas. How big of a role does that play in happiness do you think?   [00:04:54] HM: I think it's something that we really take for granted. All of these elements of the Finnish happiness or the indexes that we are ranked by, we take them for granted. So I think during these years when we've been selected as the number one, we have been having to start to think, “Okay, what is the meaning of these? And are these things something that we actually can't take for granted, and some other people in the world don't have?” It’s actually good that we have to think about these things. But sauna is one of those things that we did definitely take for granted, and it is a big part of our lifestyle still, even though it dates back thousands of years ago because our forefathers actually invented the saunas just for practical reasons. They started to build this earth pits that they heated, and those were the warm places to wash themselves in the winter year or months because it was very, very cold, of course. It still is cold in the wintertime. Then evolved into these small huts. First ones were the saunas without any chimneys. They were called smoke saunas. Then came the next version with the chimney with heated stoves and then the electrical. So we have all those still available in Finland. In a country of five and a half million people, we have about three million saunas, which is more than passenger cars. So, yes, I would say that it plays a really big part of our life. [00:06:12] PF: Oh, that's interesting. So how is this sauna used now in Finland? [00:06:17] HM: It's used like it has always been used. I'm based in New York City. But I also have an apartment in Helsinki, where I usually spent my summers, and I have a small sauna in my apartment. So basically, everybody has a sauna in their apartment, in their house, or in their summer house, or both. Hotels all have saunas. Now, we have hotel rooms also with saunas. So there are many ways. Then there are these big saunas for social gatherings. So you can have it as take a sauna as sort of part of your social life. Go for sauna with people you know or with people you don't know in these public saunas. Or you can have your own private sauna, relaxing sauna experience. For me, sauna is part of my relaxation routine and part of recharging myself. I love having my own private sauna moment. I feel that it helps me relieve the stress. [00:07:08] PF: When also it’s one of those things. You can't really be doing a lot of other things at the same time. So it plays into all these other things that lead to contentment, which is slowing your mind down, having some time to decompress and exhale, and just really taking time for yourself. [00:07:24] HM: Yes, exactly. That's very, very much so. [00:07:27] PF: So one of the big reasons I'm talking to you today is after being named happiest country for the sixth year in a row, Finland came up with a fantastic campaign. That is that you're going to offer a happiness master class. I wanted to know how this idea came about. Did you have it in the works before being named the happiest country again, or what's the backstory on doing this? [00:07:50] HM: Actually, before the pandemic, we were thinking about doing something similar, not exactly with this concept. But then pandemic came and then, obviously, it was something that we wanted to postpone and see when the world is in a better place again. Now, we thought that this is the time. Then we were nominated again as the happiest country in the world. So the timing was actually really good. But it has not been easy for anybody, I think, during the past years because of the pandemic and many other things going on in the world. So we thought that maybe this could help some people to think about their own happiness or the contentment of their lives. Maybe there's something that they could maybe find useful of the way we Finns think about things and the way we live. That's why we wanted to showcase this Finnish way of happiness to the world. We have received thousands and thousands of applications. We’re actually quite surprised and thankful of the big number of applications and interest that people have been showing. So it seems like there was a need for this kind of campaign as well. Right now, our team in Helsinki, they are going through all the applications coming from all over the world and evaluating. Then they have this really, really difficult task of selecting 10 persons that will participate in the master class. It will not be easy. [00:09:16] PF: Let me ask you. How do you go from thousands of entrants to get it down to 10? I mean, what are some of the things that they'll be looking for to see who's going to be ideal for this master class? [00:09:28] HM: Yes. That's – I am not – [00:09:29] PF: I wouldn't want their job. I'll just say. [00:09:31] HM: Neither do I. I'm not part of that team that is choosing. But the idea was there that we’re expecting everyone who seriously wants to come to Finland, also participate in that challenge. That was also described in the criteria of this selection. Then the idea is that just the most interesting and insightful application videos will probably stand out best. Then we will make the selection from those persons who have sent the most insightful videos to us. [00:10:05] PF: Then they're going to go to Finland in what month? [00:10:10] HM: In June. In June. [00:10:11] PF: In June? [00:10:12] HM: Yes. [00:10:13] PF: So talk to me about what is the master class going to be like? Because you've got like four different themes that you're working with, and you have, I think, eight different coaches. Can you just talk about what these people are going to experience and learn? [00:10:26] HM: The themes that you mentioned, the four different themes, and nature and fitness lifestyle, then health and balance, food and well-being, and designing everyday life. So there will be sessions with those coaches going on discussing those themes. But not only just discussing, they’re actually experiencing. Because the location where this master class is taking place is in the most beautiful area of Finnish Lakeland near Lake Saimaa, which is one of the biggest lakes in Europe, they will have all the opportunities to test and try these nature activities that we have available and also, of course, the Finnish sauna. [00:11:05] PF: With the coaches, do they also go through some sort of selection process? I mean, did you have a lot of people that signed up that said, “Oh, my gosh. We want to be part of this, and we want to coach.”? [00:11:16] HM: Yes. Well, Finland is a small country. So, of course, we know all the – well, not maybe all of them. But we know well people who we think that could be the most potential coaches for this type of master class environment. But I think there will be some selection process involved with this one as well. The idea is to find inspiring individuals who have a good understanding of working with international participants, and then also showcasing how and what we do in Finland to support the content lifestyle that creates the happiness. [00:11:52] PF: So what does it tell you that you got thousands of responses? Like, one, where you expecting that kind of a response, that big of a response? Then what did it tell you that so many people want to participate? [00:12:04] HM: I think this topic resonates with a lot of people because we didn't expect that it would get sufficient amount of applications. But, of course, this number that we have now been seeing is overwhelming us and in a positive way. We are very thankful about all these applications, but I think this topic resonates. I mean, we have all been through some tough times, and the world is quite a stressful place nowadays. So trying to find the ways how to sort of find your own calmness in midst of all this going on. I think people are really interested in these things. [00:12:41] PF: I would agree with you on that. Do you think having the master class in Finland – you had already mentioned that because Finland has been named the happiest country in the world multiple times that people in Finland are starting to think, “Oh, maybe we've taken things for granted.” Do you think that having the master class there will further make people in Finland go, “Okay, maybe I need to think more about what makes me happy.”? Do you think it'll help build even more happiness in the country? [00:13:08] HM: I hope so. I hope so. Let’s see. [00:13:12] PF: You're going to find out. So now, you were also talking about doing an online version of the class. Do you know yet how that would go? [00:13:21] HM: I think it will be around the same themes. Probably I would guess that we would be then working together with the same coaches that will be working with the participants on this June master class. But like I said, that's also under planning right now. But the idea is that we would be launching that online version of this master class in the fall, after the summer. [00:13:41] PF: That's really amazing. From living in Finland and also living in the US, what do you think the greatest thing that Finland has to teach the rest of the world about happiness is? [00:13:51] HM: First of all, I think we are very like – early, I think I mentioned we are very down-to-earth people, and we are maybe not in front of things that are too complicated. Sometimes, especially here in New York City, I observe things that I feel that could be done in a much more simple way. I think that's one very practical thing, very practical difference. That sometimes frustrates me. It doesn't make me happy when things are too complicated. So I feel that maybe we Finns have found in some ways, at least, the way to do things in a little bit more simple, less complicated way. Of course, I'm just talking at a general level. So there are many details. But some things, yes, I think we have that. Then another thing is that we have this very, very close connection with the nature, like I mentioned earlier. It is not something that I have observed anywhere else. It is so rooted in our lifestyle, and it is such a big part of our happiness. People talk about forest bathing. For us, it's just a very normal part of our life. We go and take a walk in the forest daily because we know that it's good for our blood pressure, and it’s good for our stress. We don't make too much fuss about it. It's just part of the lifestyle that we have. [00:15:15] PF: That's interesting. So most of Finland is very nature-based you’re saying. [00:15:19] HM: Yes, yes. Over 70% of our country is covered with forest. Then we have 188,000 lakes. So there is a lot of water. Plus, we have one of the largest archipelagos in the world with 70,000 islands on our coastal archipelago. Then in the north, we have the Arctic nature in Lapland in the northern part of the country. So we have a huge variety of different type of natural sceneries, 41 national parks. On top of 41 national parks, which are all free to use. We also have the Everyman's Right, which means freedom to roam, which means that you can go walking, hiking, foraging berries, or fishing with a rod, any land, even privately-owned lands. You don't need a permission for that. You can even camp on privately-owned lands, as long as you obey with the rules. Not having open fire or not going too close to private homes. So you can access the nature anywhere and everywhere in Finland. [00:16:19] PF: It also gets quite cold there. So how do you work in your nature, even when it's really cool? Because I know – okay, I'm in the South, in the US. When it gets cold, we all go inside, and we don't leave our house. You get much colder in Finland. So how do you work in nature as part of your daily routine when it is that cold? [00:16:42] HM: We have this saying in Finland that there is no bad weather, just bad clothing. So the weather is not an issue. I observed the same here in New York that when the weather is bad, nobody's moving anywhere. Like why? I mean, what's going on? You just put on weatherproof clothes, and then you go on about your life and good practical shoes. Of course, we don't always look the sexiest when we have these jackets and the weatherproof shoes. But it keeps us warm, and it allows us to continue our lives, even if the weather is not so nice. We don't really – because we're so used to having the four seasons. Weather is what it is. So we don't really spend too much time on thinking about the weather because we can't change it. It's one of those things that you can't change. If you just continue thinking about things that you can't change, then you might be really unhappy as well. [00:17:39] PF: Exactly. Yes. That'll be frustrating. So do you feel like your country is really proud of being named happiest country in the world? Has that helped elevate your self-esteem as a country? Or what has it done throughout the nation? [00:17:54] HM: I think now, finally, after the sixth year or maybe even already during the pandemic when we got the ranking as well of Finnish people, we’re starting to see and think that, yes, there must be something creative about our country as we are getting this ranking. Like I said, we are very humble people. We don't really make much fuss about it. Maybe it just has caused us to think a little bit more about these things that, okay, maybe we shouldn't take everything so for granted. But, yes, like I said, we're very down-to-earth. [00:18:27] PF: Yes. Does it amuse the country that reporters and newspapers are asking, calling people like yourselves? I saw the New York Times had just done a big story where they interviewed like six different people. They're trying to figure out like, “Why are you so happy?” What is that like from your standpoint? [00:18:44] HM: I've been doing actually also quite many interviews now since we got the ranking and since we launched the master class campaign. I enjoy talking about my country and sharing this. Actually, I am also myself kind of learning to think about this in a different way because when I get questions that I never thought myself, again, things that I have taken for granted, I've also started to appreciate much more my country, understanding, okay, we have some things that are not just everyday life for other people. [00:19:17] PF: That’s great. So at the end of this master class that people come and participate in, what do you hope they walk away with? What do you hope happens as a result of them being in Finland and experiencing that? [00:19:30] HM: Yes. I think that's a really interesting question as well because, of course, we are all very different people, and happiness means also different things to everybody. I mean, for us Finns, spending time in the nature is a big source of happiness. But it might not be the case for some other person, although I think that people who don't feel that would probably not apply to the master class and would not come to Finland. So I think most of the people are have applied and those who will be selected would be people who would be appreciating that kind of lifestyle. But I hope that they maybe have found some additional skills, how to cope with the everyday life, how to cope with the stress, and hopefully also find their own way, depending on, of course, where they live and what opportunities they have, their access to nature, and trying to utilize that as part of a stress-relieving factor. But, hopefully, they will find that and also may be thinking about instead of not so much talking about how happy you have to be, but how content can you be with your life. [00:20:38] PF: That's beautiful. Well, Heli, thank you so much for coming on and talking about this. I'm excited to see what happens. I want to stay in touch with you and follow up on this because I'm really excited to see where this goes. [00:20:49] HM: Sounds great. Thank you for inviting me. [END OF INTERVIEW] [00:20:54] PF: That was Heli Mende, talking about why Finland is the happiest country on the planet. We'll be talking more about their happiness master class in the future. In the meantime, if you'd like to learn more about Finland and happiness, visit our website at livehappy.com and click on the podcast tab. That is all we have time for today. We'll meet you back here again next week for an all-new episode. Until then, this is Paula Felps, reminding you to make every day a happy one. [END]