Smiling woman with colleagues in an office.

Use Positive Words to Communicate Better at Work

Before you send off a work email during a moment of frustration, keep in mind that positive exchanges are less dramatic and enduring than negative ones. Bad moments simply outweigh good ones. Whether you’re having a one-on-one conversation with a colleague or a group discussion, keep this simple shortcut in mind: At least 80 percent of your conversations should be focused on what’s going right. Workplaces, for example, often have this backward. During performance reviews, managers routinely spend 80 percent of their time on weaknesses, gaps and “areas for improvement.” They spend roughly 20 percent of the time on strengths and positive aspects. They need to flip this around. Any time you have discussions with a team or group, spend the vast majority of the time talking about what is working, and use the remaining time to address deficits. Use positive words as glue Most of the words you use carry either a positive charge or a negative charge. Fortunately, there is what researchers call a “positive bias in human expression.” In large-scale studies on this topic spanning multiple countries, roughly four out of every five words used in writing were found to be positive. Positive words, whether spoken or written, are the glue that holds relationships together. Most conversations, letters and emails are overwhelmingly positive. They need to be so the heavily weighted negative words do not counteract them. Words with a negative charge have roughly four times the weight of those with a positive charge. If you type a note to a friend and make one negative remark, it will take approximately four positive comments just to get that person back to neutral. If you have an online debate with a colleague, every sentence the recipient perceives as negative will increase the deficit. Read more: 5 Ways to Spark Joy at Work When you need to challenge someone, address difficult issues or deliver bad news, just be sure to mention a few positive things as well. Balance the overall conversation with far more positive than negative words. Then try to close with specific and hopeful actions. Help the other person see the positive consequences of any changes you discuss. If you bombard the recipient with negative remarks, he is more likely to shut down and not listen. Any time you are communicating with another person, be mindful of the importance of using positive words to hold things together. It may seem inconsequential in the moment, but subtle messages stick in a person’s mind. If friends know they can count on a message or phone call from you to boost their moods a little, it will strengthen the bonds of your relationships. Adapted from Are You Fully Charged? by Tom Rath for Live Happy. Listen to our Live Happy Now podcast with Tom Rath here. TOM RATH is a researcher, filmmaker and author of six international best-sellers, including StrengthsFinder 2.0, Eat Move Sleep, and Are You Fully Charged? His most recent work includes the feature-length documentary Fully Charged, a film featuring many of the world’s top social scientists.
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Teaching Your Kids Gratitude with Giacomo Bono

Giacomo Bono, Ph.D., is Associate Editor for The Journal of Positive Psychology, and director of the Youth Gratitude Project. The aims of the Youth Gratitude Project are to create youth measures of gratitude and to develop and test a gratitude curriculum targeting pre-K and grades 4 through 12 throughout the United States with the broad goal of providing schools with resources to support students' well-being, socio-emotional skills and character. What you'll learn in this podcast: The science behind developing gratitude The effects of gratitude on mental health Strategies for motivating and better relating to children and teens Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Download a free chapter from Making Grateful Kids: The Science of Building Character To learn more about bringing The Youth Gratitude Project to your school contact Yvonne Huffaker
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Woman with cat on her lap reading a book.

What the Heck is Hygge?

It sounds like something you might say after a sneeze. Or a new fermented superfood. But hygge—pronounced HOO-ga—is, in fact, the latest happiness export from Denmark. Hygge is the subject of more than 20 new books, with titles like Hygge Habits, How to Hygge and the bestselling Little Book of Hygge. There are hygge-inspired cookbooks and even primers to get rid of clutter. Teapots, knitting kits, macramé wall hangings and especially candles are all being sold with the promise that they are hyggelig. At hyggelife.com you can buy reindeer antlers, deerskin rugs and goatskin throws. And an email for a silk and leather eye mask landed in my inbox with the assurance that “There are no rules. You can hygge alone if you feel like it.” So, what the heck is hygge? It’s a concept that doesn’t have a direct English translation. “Coziness” is the word that comes closest. Fuzzy socks might be involved in a hyggelig Saturday, as well as unscented candles, an alpaca blanket, a stew bubbling on the stove and the company of good friends. When you’re immersed in hygge, a calico cat could well be nestled nearby. Behind the mystery of Danish happiness Meik Wiking, CEO of the Copenhagen-based Happiness Research Institute and author of The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living, believes that hygge might help answer the question of what makes the Danes so darn happy. In 2016, Denmark earned the top spot in a ranking of more than 150 counties in the World Happiness Report, the annual survey that the World Happiness Institute conducts to mark the International Day of Happiness. It was the second time in the survey’s four years that Denmark came out on top. “Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience rather than about things,” Meik writes. “It is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let your guard down. You may be having an endless conversation about the small or big things in your life—or just be comfortable in each other’s silent company—or simply just be by yourself enjoying a cup of tea.” Though it has become the latest lifestyle trend, hygge dates back hundreds of years and originates from the Norwegian word for “well-being.” Alex Beauchamp, who grew up on a small farm in Denmark, now lives in Topanga, California, and blogs at HyggeHouse.com, says that Danes created hygge because they were trying to survive the boredom, cold and sameness of the long Scandinavian winters, where darkness lasts up to 17 hours a day. “Hygge was a way for them to find moments to celebrate or acknowledge and to break up the day, months or years,” she writes. With so many cold, dark days, the simple act of a candle glowing with a cup of coffee in the morning or a home cooked evening meal with friends can make a huge difference to one’s spirit.” There’s a lot worth embracing in hygge. It celebrates tenets of positive psychology like savoring and being in the moment. But even Meik admits that hygge has a dark side, one that includes the Dane’s chilliness to newcomers. Danes are not good at inviting new people into their social circles, he writes, “because it would be considered less hyggelit if there were too many new people at an event.” Getting too hygge can keep you marooned in your comfort zone. So, by all means light candles (every Dane burns an average of 13 pounds of candle wax a year), bake a rye bread, create a hyggekrog, a nook in your home where you can snuggle up with a blanket and a book. But remember, as Alex says, “Living well is more than organic fruit. Please go out there and do. Live. Don’t be the same as yesterday. Don’t live vicariously online. Don’t hide. … Go outside. Make a difference, make some change.” Shelley Levitt is a freelance journalist based in Southern California and editor at large for Live Happy magazine.
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Man practicing qi gong outdoors.

Try Qi Gong to Discover Your Peaceful Center

When it comes to mindfulness practices, Western civilization has borrowed extensively from Eastern culture. That’s particularly true with qi gong (pronounced chē-ˈgu̇ŋ), an ancient Chinese meditation practice that, like tai chi, combines movement and breathing to cultivate your flow of energy, or qi. Qi = energy; gong = skill According to Brent Bauer, M.D., of the Mayo Clinic, although qi gong is similar to tai chi, it is easier to learn because the movements are so slow and repetitive. A study from the University of Minnesota and the Mayo Clinic found this mindful energy-based practice may reduce chronic pain as well as the side effects from cancer treatments. Other studies have linked it to improved sleep, a better attitude and increased balance and flexibility. Take a breath Breathing is the building block of all qi gong practices. With this conscious breathing, your belly (not your chest) should rise and fall as you inhale and exhale. Start by standing with your feet shoulder-width apart, your heels on the ground but your weight on the balls of your feet. Place your hands on your abdomen, just below the belly button and breathe in, expanding your abdomen. Feel how your hands are pushed outward as your belly expands, and how, as you breathe out and your abdomen relaxes, it contracts inward. Breathe in and out through your nose in slow, natural breaths, without forcing it. You’ll immediately feel more relaxed; many practitioners recommend doing this standing conscious breathing for 15 minutes every day. Have a ball From this standing position, you can add a movement called Charging the Energy Ball. Continue breathing deeply as you raise your hands in front of you, shoulder-width apart, palms facing in, as if you’re holding a beach ball filled with energy. Keeping your hands waist-high, push your arms apart as you exhale, then inhale and bring them back together to “hold” your ball of energy. Repeat, breathing in and out to a count of three, and pay attention to how your hands feel; the movement builds qi in the palms and arms, but also creates a relaxing flow of energy throughout the entire body. Read more: What Happens When You Combine Meditation and Exercise? Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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5 Steps to a More Confident You with Carin Rockind

Carin Rockind is a leading happiness expert, media personality, and the creator of PurposeGirl, a movement to empower purpose-driven living. She has taught thousands of people real-life strategies to reclaim their happiness, and live to their fullest potential of success and well-being. What you'll learn in this podcast: How to find your purpose Why it is important to take action towards your goals now How to use midlife for a catalyst instead of a crisis Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Use code livehappy to download a free chapter from Pebbles in the Pond: Wave Three!
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Is Longevity in the Cards for You?

We’ve long been told that we have to play the hand life dealt us—but what if you could improve that hand? According to longevity researcher Dan Buettner, author of the Blue Zones series of books, you can, and he offers specific ways to stack the odds in our favor. “What’s new in the field of happiness is the ability to measure the facets that create it,” he says. “In my previous work with Blue Zones, studying some of the longest-living areas of the world, I’d say there is about an 80 percent overlap of characteristics of a place where people lived a long time and a place where people report the greatest levels of well-being.” Based on that research, Dan has found a few factors that make you happier—and help you live longer: Social interaction We are more likely to be happy if we get five to seven hours of meaningful social interaction a day. Meaningful work Doing something that you find rewarding, whether it’s at your job or through volunteering, is crucial. Green spaces Living near a park or in an area with trees has a direct link to increased happiness and greater longevity. Walking and biking options Being able to get around on foot or bicycle, rather than sitting in traffic, is better for your health and your mood. Quality food environment “Having access to healthy food and vegetables is shown to have a direct link to happiness and good health.” Neighborhood equality If you live in a neighborhood where all the homes are basically in the same price range, you’ll be happier than if you owned the least expensive house on the street (or the most expensive one). “The least expensive house reminds you of what you don’t have, and having the most expensive house puts more pressure on you.” Environment Finally, a significant factor in your happiness is location, location, location. “If you live near water, you are 10 percent more likely to be happy,” Dan says. “The same effect is seen with mountains.The overall thesis of changing your behavior is a waste of time; for both longevity and happiness, the most important thing you can do is change your environment.” How happy are you? Take our quiz to find out. Read more: Be Happy to Live Longer Read more: What DoTelomeres Tell Us? Paula Felpsis the Science Editor for Live Happy. Quiz by Plasticity Labs.
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Young woman holding a book and smiling.

Top 10 Books That Will Change Your Life in 2017

Set aside some reading time and stock your shelves with these 10 exceptional new books, which cover a range of illuminating topics from the way technology affects our well-being to how to live a compassionate life. Make 2017 happier and more fulfilling by giving yourself the gift of continued learning. 1. The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-Being In the Digital Era by Amy Blankson Overwhelmed by the flood of apps and information online? Discover how to navigate technology in a way that enhances your happiness. Amy Blankson, cofounder of the digital consulting firm GoodThink, reveals five strategies to thrive in the digital age. Start by using your power of choice to scan for the positive. Learn how to use technology as a sixth sense to better understand yourself and the world around you. 2. The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living by Meik Wiking We've heard countless times that Danes are the happiest people in the world, and hygge, which translates roughly as "cozy" or "homey," may be the key, according to Meik Wiking, CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen. Breaking bread with friends at a table topped with flickering candles; curling up in front of a fire with a good book—these are prime examples of hygge-based happiness. Curling up in front of a fire with a book about hygge? Double-Danish happiness! 3. The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu Your personal hardships can turn to joy. Nobel Peace Prize laureates His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu credit personal experiences of hardship and oppression for their eventual ability to lead the joyful lives they live today. Discover the eight pillars of joy to overcome fear, stress, anger, grief and illness. Suffering might be inevitable, according to this dynamic duo, but how we respond to it is our choice. 4. How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom by Jonathan Fields Author and entrepreneur Jonathan Fields believes a good life is made up of three buckets: a bucket of vitality, a bucket of connection and a bucket of contribution. Using science-backed and actionable tips, he shows the reader how to fill each of these buckets in just 30 days. Tap into your purpose, the book advises, and do meaningful work in order to vastly improve your life and find maximum happiness. 5. Getting Grit: The Evidence-Based Approach to Cultivating Passion, Perseverance, and Purpose byCaroline Miller Positive psychology author and coach Caroline Miller believes our level of grit is fundamental to living a fulfilled life. This guidebook to building grit offers self-assessment tools, daily exercises and life tips to boost courage and willpower. She explores the key traits of gritty people, how true grit inspires others and how humility and self-compassion also play a role in authentic grit. 6. The Dog's Guide to Your Happiness: Seven Secrets for a Better Life from Man's Best Friend by Garry McDaniel and Sharon Massen Want to be happier? Look to your pooch! Our canine companions can show us what authentic joy is truly about, say authors Garry McDaniel and Sharon Massen, both professors at Franklin University. The book explores seven traits that are essential for happiness through the eyes of our trusted furry friends. We can learn how to let go of stress, the book advises, and get lost in the art of play by watching our dogs just do their thing. Our furry friends can also show us the value of loyalty and unconditional love. 7. At Home in the World: Stories and Essential Teachings from a Monk's Life by Thich Nhat Hanh Put the power of hope to work in your life. Peace activist and Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh draws from his travels as well as stories and traditions from his childhood in rural Vietnam to share important life insights and lessons. “Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today,” he writes. 8. Mindshift: Break Through Obstacles to Learning and Discover Your Hidden Potential by Barbara Oakley, Ph.D. Learn how to uncover and develop talents you don’t realize you had—no matter what your age or background. Instead of just following your passions, discover how to broaden your passions. InMindshift, Barbara Oakley, Ph.D., draws on neuroscientific insights to turn perceived weaknesses into strengths and overcome preconceptions with the right mindset. Feeling behind if you start a new career path later in life? Use the skills you’ve already acquired to bring valuable insights to a new discipline. 9. The Leading Brain: Powerful Science-Based Strategies for Achieving Peak Performance by Friederike Fabritius and Hans W. Hagemann Use the latest research in brain science to improve how you perform and iteract at work. Combining their expertise in neuropsychology and management consulting, neuropsychologist Friederike Fabritius and leadership expert Hans W. Hagemann, Ph.D., show how to sharpen your focus, improve your performance, retain information, make better complex decisions and cultivate trust to build strong teams. 10. The Big Picture: A Guide to Finding Your Purpose in Life by Christine B. Whelan If you’ve ever wondered what you are going to do with your life, this book is for you. Though aimed at college graduates, The Big Picture is a guide for anyone who would like to discover their talents and create a fulfilling career and life. Author Christine B. Whelan, Ph.D. uses quizzes and leading questions such as, "What are my talents? How can I use them to help others and create meaning? in order to help each reader find a path to a purposeful life. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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kid dressed up as astronaut.

4 Tips to Raise High-Achieving Kids

When I was a new mom, I met a couple I’ll call the Jacksons whose primary goal was to raise their children to become achievement-oriented adults. While this is a common wish for parents, the Jacksons had a fairly extreme way of going about it. When their son was less than a year old, the Jacksons initiated a family policy that no one was to give him anything; if he wanted something, he had to learn to get it for himself. The Jacksons truly believed that if their child had just the bare minimum (of food, clothing, etc.) and was always in need, he would be motivated to find a way to get whatever he wanted on his own—setting him on the path to eventual success. In contrast, many “helicopter parents” harbor the same dreams for their children and yet lean toward the opposite extreme by hovering—offering too much guidance and praise. My experience has been that both of these parenting styles ultimately may do a disservice to children and impede their confidence and success. As a therapist, I suggest a middle-ground approach to parenting that yields the best outcomes for children in terms of success, psychological well-being and self-confidence. Albert Bandura, a psychologist and expert in cognitive development, developed the concept of “self-efficacy”—the way people view themselves as capable and productive makes a tremendous difference in their success. The best way for parents to help children accomplish this is by providing appropriate guidance, support and praise, while allowing for experimentation and even failure. The following key elements are essential for raising children to become motivated, successful and goal-oriented adults. Read more: Which Kind of Goal-Setter Are You? 1. Help kids build confidence in themselves Believing in yourself builds confidence, improves self-esteem and makes both children and adults take more risks, feel more motivated and work harder. If you want to teach your children to feel confident in who they are and their achievements, help them learn their strengths, tell them you believe in their abilities and point out both past and present successes. It may sound simple, but past achievements DO build future successes. Example: Your child is starting a new class, activity or sport. Let her know that it is normal to be worried about something new, but also that she has certain skills that she can use to apply to this new situation. Be specific about what those skills are and give examples of when she has used those skills successfully. 2. Help them understand the "Why" I have heard so many parents utter the following overused phrases: “because I said so,” “you have to do that because it’s your homework assignment” or “the coach/teacher/tutor/school said so.” While each of these statements may be true, they do not explain the reasons or benefits of doing that task. Homework builds skills, allows for practice and teaches concepts outside of the classroom. Our children need to understand these reasons, not simply that they have a duty. Example: Your child says, “I don’t like to read. I think it is boring and I am not good at it.” You respond that it’s OK, not everyone likes reading, but reading is important. You make it clear that as he grows older there will be lots of things he will need to read and understand, and the only way to do that is to practice. Read more: Making Motivation Work 3. Teach kids to look inward for competition and achievement Goal-oriented children learn that trying to do better than they did yesterday and the day before is much more important than trying to be equal to or greater than someone else. Each of us has a unique set of skills and abilities, and we need to focus on honing them so that we can maximize our own growth. During the recent Olympics in Rio, it was clear that swimmer Michael Phelps’ disappointment in his London performance in 2012 was a stronger motivation to excel than any rivalry. Example: Your child says, “Johnny is better than I am at math” or “Alexandra runs so much faster than I do.” The response should be something like the following: “Johnny and Alexandra will be better at some things than you are, and you will be better at other things than they are; we do not need to compare. Instead, let’s talk about how much faster you are than you were in second grade and figure out how we can help you get faster before next year.” 4. Help kids set reasonable goals and make plans to accomplish them Goal setting starts at an early age. It begins when kids learn to do homework before watching TV, or how to clean their rooms and make their beds in an efficient and effective way. As parents, we need to teach our kids what types of goals are reasonable and then help them strategize a way to get them accomplished. Example: Your child has a big project due in two weeks. You sit down with her to discuss how long it will take, what days she will work on it and the best way to get it done well. Then follow up with her to make sure she is keeping on schedule. If we as parents can provide support and guidance while giving kids the stepping stones to develop their own confidence and self-esteem—and let them learn their own lessons through experience—they will be well on their way to success. Read more: Are You Making This Common Parenting Mistake? Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book, How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, and an editor-at-large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.
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Diverse group of teen girls sitting on a couch touching hands.

How to Raise Empathetic Kids

It’s almost the end of the hour and for the third session in a row, my life coaching client is still complaining about her partner. I’ve tried to help her have some perspective and find a level of empathy for her partner. I’ve even made a couple of guarded attempts at building gratitude, but my efforts have been tossed aside. “What do you really want?” I finally ask, beginning to doubt whether it’s a better relationship. “I want to change him,” she says, pointedly. When I tell her that’s not something I can help her do, she rebukes me for my weak approach. Needless to say, it’s our last session. Unrealistic expectations She wasn’t my first client whose idea of a healthy relationship is one where he or she can change a partner. Or whose relationships are demanding and laden with expectations—and often disappointments. Because healthy relationships of any kind grow on a bedrock of empathy, not selfish demands, where we listen in order to understand and we know how to compromise through win-win communication. There are reasons many of us struggle with this. But in working with clients such as the one I described, I’ve been struck by how often it’s the kind of parenting we receive that sets us up to believe the world revolves around us. Spare the rod… I’m not talking about dysfunctional parenting styles and insecure attachments. I’m talking about well-meaning parents who fulfill their child’s every desire and fail to set boundaries around what they can and cannot have. And in a world where consumerism is having its heyday and parents are busier than ever, many of us risk falling into that category. As a mother of four adolescents myself, I know how much easier it is to give in to my children’s apparently urgent and ever-growing “needs.” Sure, we would have fewer arguments, less emotional agony and guilt, and happier children—in the short run—if we met our children’s every demand. The dopamine addiction When we do give in to our children every time, we feed a part of the brain that’s designed to always want better and more. It’s what neuropsychologist Rick Hanson calls the “rat brain,” and when “newer and better” versions of every product constantly inundate the market, our children’s internal rat is in a continuous tizzy, setting off little “happy hits” of that addictive love drug, dopamine. This emotional frenzy, when continued over time and without proper boundaries, can actually limit the development of the prefrontal cortex that is capable of restraint and perspective. And studies in interpersonal neurobiology show that this results in a less well-integrated brain that is inflexible in its demands, unable to regulate emotions well and singularly focused on its own desires. And in a global world where our individual and collective well-being increasingly depends on our ability to have compassion and to work well with others, we need to prepare our children better. So here’s what we can do instead. 1. Set real boundaries Boundaries help our children make values-based choices, and all the more important when the choices around them are endless, and the pressure to have the latest of everything is bombarding them from many fronts. In adolescence, when the need for social approval is at its peak, boundaries help them stand their ground and enjoy what they do have, rather than run after what they don’t. However these boundaries need to be mutually agreed upon, set in advance rather than willy-nillyand adhered to so that our children learn to trust us. 2. Teach gratitude Gratitude calms the rat brain. It shifts the focus from what’s missing to what’s already present. And given that we’re wired to pay far more attention to the negative, it’s a skill we need to help our children master, so they can appreciate what they have rather than buy into the promise of happiness on the other side of “more.” One way to do so is to have frequent discussions at the dinner table of the good things in their lives that they’re grateful for. 3. Encourage giving Our society worships the individual and fools us into believing that the world revolves around us. But research shows that always being a “taker” is detrimental to our relationships, our well-being and, surprisingly, even our success. Teaching our children the importance of giving, leads not only to their increased happiness, but also to a more just world. We can help them by identifying opportunities to give, and then help them savor the joy that results from doing so. 4. Build empathy and compassion As the most social species on the planet, we’re wired for compassion. But we’re also wired for egoistic pursuits—such is the paradox of the human brain. Research shows that we have two motivational systems that regulate our thoughts, emotions and actions: The competitive system and the compassionate system. But as in the Cherokee legend of the two wolves of the heart, the one that grows stronger is the one we feed. Needless to say, in a world that idealizes fame and fortune, the competitive system is being fattened by the day. Our role as parents is critical in helping our children connect to their emotions and nurture the pathways of compassion. There are billions amongst us, and even more to come, who are desperate for our empathy. Entire populations are suffering terrible fates, and we often become inured or stop caring when we are overwhelmed by the tragedies taking place around the world. But future generations will struggle with the legacy if we let our consumerist and desires outweigh or overrule our concern for other human beings. As Diane Ackerman has so eloquently stated, future geologists will ponder our recklessness as they sift through our remains and find not bones, but all manner of residue that foretell our spoiled and egoistic lives. I know it can be difficult, but we have little choice. Think of it this way: Helping our children burst through their self-centered bubbles and strengthen their compassionate motivational system is essential for the sake of better relationships, a more egalitarian world and a brighter future for the generations who come after us. Homaira Kabir is a positive psychology coach and a cognitive behavioral therapist. She offers online courses and coaching programs to help women develop authentic beliefs in themselves, so they'reable to lead in relationships, at work and in life. Take her free confidence quiz here.
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Dean Karnazes running an ultramarathon.

Dean Karnazes Goes the Extra Mile

Imagine crossing the finish line as you complete your first marathon. You are maxed out mentally and physically; your legs are like overstretched rubber bands and your lungs are on fire. You feel like crying, but you are not sure if it is from extreme joy or pain; it’s probably both. Then imagine doing it again five times over. For ultramarathoner and author Dean Karnazes, a 150-mile race is just another day at the office, and he can finish a marathon before your first coffee break. “There is a saying I have, ‘there is magic in misery,’ ” Dean says. “If you have ever run a marathon, believe it or not, as bad as it was and how bad it hurt, there is magic in it. You feel more alive than at any other point in your life.” That feeling is what keeps him on the perpetual road to finding achievement and meaning. Dean may be an extreme case, but he is a great example of what endurance, drive and grit can accomplish. “It gets to the point where your head is somewhere else,” he says. “You are so focused on the task at hand, and it sounds bizarre to think that for 30-plus hours, but you are really thinking about one single thing. And that is accomplishing your goal. It is that intense.” Dean describes this feeling as “Zen-like” and a unique chance to live in the moment and think about nothing else other than crossing the finish line. This kind of mental focus is often described as “flow,” a state where the mind and body are so in sync that the outer world and even self-consciousness seem to melt away. Researchers claim that this level of engagement is an essential spoke in the happiness wheel. Taking it to the limit Most likely, no one reading this will ever have to endure what Dean goes through to find satisfaction and contentment. But many do find pleasure in running great distances such as marathons, half-marathons, 5K races or any seemingly insurmountable task that we set out to conquer. Dean writes that such feats of strength and personal courage can have profound effects on our well-being, and once we cross the finish line, we are “liberated from the prison of self-doubt and limitations.” Even if we have to nurse our injuries for a week afterward, he says, we have never been freer. The long journey within Dean competes in some of the most mentally and physically taxing races on the planet, including the Badwater Ultramarathon across the sweltering Death Valley desert, a frigid marathon to the South Pole and the punishing Spartathlon in Greece, which he chronicles in his latest book, The Road to Sparta. Set in the rocky terrain of Greece, this annual footrace of 153 miles is the birthplace of the marathon as we know it today and attracts competitors from all around the world. The route retraces the steps of the fabled foot courier Pheidippides who carried important messages back and forth from Athens to Sparta. His job, without the help of energy gels or high-performance running shoes, was to recruit the Spartans to help fight against the massive and breaching Persian army at the battle of Marathon, a role so important that he may have saved the Greeks from tyranny for centuries to come. No pressure. For Dean, whose family descends from Greece, this race was the chance to participate in something bigger than himself; it was a chance to channel history and experience what his ancestors did nearly 2,500 years ago. A personal best Of all his herculean feats in life, the Spartathlon race was a much more personal experience. “It was about finding out who I was as a person and understanding where I came from. It’s more self-discovery and a richer understanding of my heritage and my past,” Dean says. “I think that it’s something that everyone at some level seeks to know. ‘Where did I come from? Who were my people?’ ” His mother’s side of the family is from the carefree island of Ikaria, where life moves slowly and stress is low. His father’s side is a resilient group from the hills of Sparta. The former is where Dean may get his optimistic outlook on life, but the latter is composed of a long line of endurance runners. As a boy, he remembers old folktales of men from Crete running from village to village. He would witness the older people dancing at the local Greek festivals for eight to 10 hours straight and admiring their endurance. This experience went far beyond what any lineage website could bring. “It was really an immersive journey into my past.” Overcoming great odds “Running is such a simple act, but it is profound in its simplicity as well as its complexity,” Dean says. “Let’s face it, running can be mind-numbingly boring.…It can be extremely painful and every runner has a relationship with pain. Everyone else inherently tries to avoid pain and yet we runners embrace it and welcome it.” Through hot and humid wind coming off the Mediterranean Sea, Dean was met with obstacles day and night as he negotiated ankle-breaking terrain across his homeland with a queasy stomach and blistered feet. Admittedly, it wasn’t Dean’s best performance in a race, but he was given a hero’s welcome full of selfies at every checkpoint. “I would say [the Spartathlon] probably is the most grueling ultramarathon on earth…it gets to 100 degrees, but then there’s the terrain. There are points where you are on all fours scaling up the side of a mountain coming into Sparta.” But we as humans have the capability to complete extreme tasks, to hit an extra gear. For ages we have been running long distances. As Dean explains in his book with the help of Professor Paul Cartledge, A.G. Leventis Chair of Greek Culture at Cambridge University, legend holds that Pheidippides may have run back and forth for more than 300 miles, delivering messages amid the famous battle between the Greeks and Persians. He finally reached the end of his journey delivering his final message to Athens, “Nike! (Victory!),” before collapsing to his death. For Dean, “It was a holistic journey, if you will. To think about…the same course I am running on right now, a guy was here 2,500 years ago trying to save democracy. Trying to save all of the things we know today and here was a guy by himself, barefoot with the weight of the world on his shoulders.” Running to save the world Dean is a big believer in uniting people, especially through running. He recently ran a 525 kilometer race on the Silk Road—the ancient trade route spanning from the Mediterranean to China—as a sports ambassador on behalf of the United States. His mission was to connect with people along the way in countries such as Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan who don’t often get the chance to see Westerners. On many of his stops, he was greeted with friendly faces and local runners to keep him company on his 50-mile-a-day journey through the high altitudes of Central Asia. “There are so many things in this world that divide us, that separate us: the color of your skin, your race, your religion, your socioeconomic level,” Dean explains. “Running is the great democratizer. There is commonality, no matter where you live or what you look like, you put one foot in front of the other just like every other human and that unites people instead of dividing people. I think that is a beautiful thing.” Listen to the interview with Dean Karnazes on our podcast, Live Happy Now. Chris Libby is the Section Editor at Live Happy magazine.
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