Bicycle made out of vegetables

Health Coaching

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Learn about the impact of health coaching on your well-being. LifeHack—How to be your own life coach. Practitioner’s Corner—Meet Lauren Teller, who uses her experience as a positive psychology coach to promote how to cultivate meaningful change in how you feel about yourself and show up in your life. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center
Read More
Mitten hands holding a gift

Ask Stacy: Holiday Bliss Is Easy to Miss

Happiness is something we all search for and that we each deserve in our lives. However, obstacles inevitably get in the way, whether that means negative people, current or past circumstances we can’t control, bad luck—even our own self-destructive patterns. I have developed this column to helpLive Happyreaders overcome these stumbling blocks. As the new year approaches, are you feeling stressed out? Send your happiness questions toaskstacy@livehappy.com. Dear Stacy, I am a hairdresser and I love my job, but I can’t stand listening to people who have no money talk about how they spend it all on holiday gifts. Yesterday, my client told me that she has been struggling, and yet she is buying the new $1,000 iPhone 10 for her husband. What can I do or say to these people who are making choices that are financially wrong? I hear stories like this every work day. —Bonnie Dear Bonnie, I have great admiration for your care and compassion for your clients and their financial well-being. Many people in the service industry do not invest as much in the people they work with. While I understand your concern about your client buying an expensive cellular device, it is not our place to tell other people how to spend their money. In addition, while she might share her financial woes with you, you have no way to be certain how she prioritizes her spending or whether this will, in fact, make a big impact on her financial situation. In my many years as a psychotherapist, I have encountered several clients who have expensive phones, cars, vacations, etc., and yet are willing to sacrifice in other areas of their lives, including a suitable place to live or a balanced and complete meal. While it is sometimes challenging to watch, it is important we know our role in a person’s life and to understand that, ultimately, they have control over their decisions. If you really feel compelled to have a conversation, the only thing I think would be appropriate is to let her know that you know that she’s making an expensive purchase and that you hope it does not negatively impact her finances. Dear Stacy, Whether at Thanksgiving, Easter or Christmas, our holiday dinner table is always filled with tense conversation. I am anticipating that the current national and political climate will make the next holidays even worse. At Easter last spring, the arguing grew so intense that I brought out an antique bell and started ringing it loudly, to little avail. I simply want some holiday peace. Would you come to our dinners, Stacy, to mediate, or do I need to hire a referee? Thank you in advance, and please do not use my real name because my sister reads Livehappy.com, too. Many thanks. —Frustrated Frances Dear Frances, Sadly, what you have described at your holiday dinner table is something that happens to many of us—particularly when there is turmoil within our families, our community and our country. I think ringing an antique bell was a brilliant idea! Particularly if it added some lightness and fun to the conversation. In times of stress, I always recommend people try to break the tension with a little humor. Being that your bell did not work the last time, I have a few other suggestions: Invite additional guests to dinner to serve as buffers. Often if guests are present who are not close family members, your relatives will be on better behavior. Additionally, extra people might open up more areas of conversation so the unpleasant topics can be avoided. Create ground rules before everyone arrives. Let guests know that they have political, environmental and situational differences and that topics that create conflict are not allowed at the dinner table. If these controversial topics are then brought up, remind them of the table rules and ask them to finish the conversations after the meal. Have a dinner activity prepared should the conversation get heated. Go around the table and have people say what they are thankful for, or their wishes for the coming year or have everyone share a funny story about a family member who is sitting at the table. Dear Stacy, My name is Donna and I am 58 years old. I have made family photo holiday cards since my children were born; they are now in their 20s. This year they will not have any part of it. I start planning in October for these cards because I like us to wear themed clothing and hire a photographer. This year they have all said they are done with my cards. I figured I would have at least until they had families of their own. I am devastated, Stacy. They each told me this in an email, and they have no idea that I started crying when I got this bad news. I have been doing these cards for more than 20 years! I don’t know if the problem can be resolved, but I saw your advice column and I thought maybe it was destiny since the refusals to domy card arrived this week. —Donna Dear Donna, I absolutely love that you have had a family tradition of making photo holiday cards since your children were born! I can see how much meaning these cards must have for you, and I understand why you were so upset when your children told you they were no longer interested. Perhaps you can convince your family to do one final card just for this year? It might be a good compromise that allows you one final hurrah and also addresses the fact that they feel they are ready to move on from this activity. If your kids are not willing to bend, or if you still feel sad about stopping the cards next year, I encourage you to create a new family holiday tradition that makes you and the rest of your family feel happy and fulfilled. Perhaps start a potluck dinner where everyone brings a favorite dish even if they all end up being desserts. Or take lots of family photos wearing silly or festive hats and glasses while at a holiday meal. Ask your family members what they would be willing to try that could be fun for both them and you. Maybe you will even come up with a few new holiday traditions that will be passed on for generations! Read more: Ask Stacy: Expert Tips for a Happy Life Stacy Kaiseris a Southern California-based licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is the author ofHow to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know,and editor at large forLive Happy. As a former weekly advice columnist forUSA Todaywith more than 100 appearances on major networks, including CNN, FOX and NBC, Stacy has built a reputation for bringing a unique mix of thoughtful and provocative insights to a wide range of topics.
Read More
Illustration of Two heads

Practitioner’s Corner: Monica Smith

Live Happy is excited to present a series of interviews from our partners,The Flourishing Center,that highlight practitioners who are making an extraordinary impact in the world by putting positive psychology into practice. As we present you with inspiring human stories, we also want to empower you to put these strategies into action in your own life. Today’s spotlight interview is with Monica Smith, an experienced project manager and change-management specialist with more than 12 years of experience working in the public sector. After graduating from The Flourishing Center’s Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) Program, Monica recently foundedThe Clear Mind Projectto bring positive psychology and resilience to the addiction-recovery community and bridge the gap between crisis and true thriving. TFC: What inspired you to bring positive psychology to the recovery community? Monica: I have recovery experience myself, and for many years I found all the traditional recovery approaches to be helpful. But when I was exposed to positive psychology, it transformed my life. I uncovered research about growth mindset and post-traumatic growth, and felt truly inspired. And yet, I realized that few people in the recovery community—including therapists and other providers—were aware of these concepts. Despite the amazing gifts of traditional recovery, I often saw people hovering in a neutral space after successfully getting sober. They weren’t engaging in self-destructive behaviors, but they also weren’t flourishing. They didn’t believe in their potential or see what was possible, and they often still had a negative self-view. I feel strongly that we could change this. TFC: Tell us more about how you were originally exposed to positive psychology. Monica: My undergraduate degree is in psychology, and I have a master’s in forensic psychology. So through my education, I knew who Martin Seligman was, and I got some exposure to positive psychology. I took a break for several years, but what brought me back was my own spiritual journey and self-development process. I’m a big Audible user—I usually have eight books going at any given time—and in listening to books about personal growth, I kept getting recommendations for books by some of the big names in positive psychology. Plus, while consulting for the government, I heard about Martin Seligman’s Penn Resilience Program. While this was peripheral exposure, it started coming together with what I was digging into personally. TFC: You founded The Clear Mind Project over the last year. Tell us about it. Monica: The Clear Mind Project is all about bringing the science of well-being and resilience to the recovery community. We offer coaching and workshops, and recently finished our first cohort of A Twist on the 12 Steps™. In this 12-week program, we take one of the traditional 12 steps each week and teach a complementary interpretation rooted in positive psychology. The idea is to say: All of the things you’ve been exposed to in traditional recovery are great, but they’re only half the story. For instance, the first step is about admitting you are “powerless” and that your life has become “unmanageable” because of addiction. In this week’s workshop, I teach participants about what they can control—that they can choose their mindset, rewire their brain, etc. TFC: How have people been responding to this integrated approach to the 12 steps? Monica: Everyone who went through the program reported an increase in their well-being. I did a survey with all participants before and after, asking about their subjective well-being in areas aligned to the 12 dimensions I was teaching. I was particularly struck that on average, this group reported a 50 percent increase in agreement with the following statement: “I feel a sense of peace about my past and find meaning in negative experiences.” TFC: That’s fantastic, Monica! What’s your vision for the future if more people had access to these resources? Monica: I envision the program being balanced between addressing illness and supporting wellness. I want people in recovery to say, “Not only am I in recovery, but I am also feeling really fulfilled.” I would like providers in the field to have these positive psychology skills for themselves —let alone for their clients’ benefit. I see that creating upward spirals. Plus, I’d want strong support structures in place for partners and family members of those navigating addiction. Overall, I want people to feel their sobriety is safe. Positive psychology has taught me about the illness/wellness continuum. If you imagine a scale of human flourishing from negative 10 to plus 10, traditional psychological paradigms try to get people to zero, or neutral. Many people recover from addiction and hover around there, where they are vulnerable to triggers. If we can move people north of neutral, although they will still experience triggers, they’re more likely to be OK because they’ll have more cushion. Everyone deserves a cushion! To learn more about The Clear Mind Project, visit www.theclearmindproject.com. If you are in recovery or otherwise affected by addiction and live in the Washington, D.C. area, look for the next offering of Monica’s signature program, A Twist on the 12 Steps™, in early 2018. Read more: Practitioner's Corner: Louisa Jewelland Practitioner's Corner: Cheryl Rice
Read More
Birds sitting on flowers

The Swedish Art of Living a Balanced, Happy Life with Niki Brantmark

Niki Brantmark is the founder and creator of the award-winning daily interior design blog My Scandinavian Home, which was inspired by her move to Sweden from London. Niki has an MA in psychology from the University of Edinburgh and she joins Live Happy science editor Paula Felps to talk about Lagom (Law-gom) the swedish art of living a balanced, happy life. What you'll learn in this episode: Learn what lagom is and how it can benefit your well-being How you can bring lagom to your home. How to apply the principles of lagom at work. Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Learn more about Niki Brantmark on her blog. Follow Niki on her twitter and Facebook.
Read More
Jumping on the beach

‘The Empowered Mama’ Puts Women’s Wellness First

Author Lisa Druxman is the dynamic founder of FIT4MOM, a national fitness company that operates a range of classes to help women get back in shape after having a baby. After spending years interacting with busy moms, and raising her own kids while also running a growing business, Lisa has gathered her wisdom and experience in her new book, The Empowered Mama: How to Reclaim Your Time and Yourself While Raising a Happy, Healthy Family. We spoke with Lisa to learn more about how women can fit wellness and self-care into our hectic lives without giving up on fulfilling work, in or out of the home. Live Happy: Lisa, what made you want to write this book? Lisa Druxman: Everything we do at FIT4MOM is about helping women realize their strengths in motherhood. I get a chance to meet moms across the country, and they all say they are overwhelmed. I have learned a lot since founding the company (and growing it while raising my own family), and I wanted to shorten the learning curve for other women. The Empowered Mama is the culmination of the wisdom and experience I’ve acquired over all this time. Why is it important for moms in particular to engage in self-care? Moms are used to caring for their family—putting others first. But you can’t pour from an empty cup. As moms we set the tone, and we set the energy for the whole family, so it is crucial that we take time to take care of ourselves. What do you think are some of the biggest challenges for moms today? We are trying to be supermoms. We are living in the age of Pinterest when we think we have to have our houses look a certain way, and party decorations have to be a certain way... Seventy percent of moms are working full- or part-time, so with that, taking care of the kids, the house—they wish there were more hours of the day, but they would just fill it up with more errands. Instead, we need to be more purposeful about how we use time. We need to set priorities, say no to some things and let go of perfection. You are in the fitness business, yet you included many aspects of life in the book in addition to exercise and nutrition. How did you decide to do that? My master’s degree is in psychology, so I am fascinated by the mind and the power of the mind. I’ve been in the fitness industry for 25 years, and I’ve learned that you can’t become happy and healthy just by being fit. We have to change our mindset. To me that means thinking about things like purpose, values and goals, so I have included what I’ve learned over the years in this book, in a fun, interactive way. What is the most important thing you think moms can do to improve their well-being? You need to put your self-care in first. The thing moms want, but are never able to achieve, is balance. So if we know that, what happens if we take care of ourselves first? Ask yourself, what is the minimum effective dose for me to feel healthy and happy? For me, I need a certain amount of exercise. I know I need to eat certain kinds of foods… What is self-care for you? Whatever it is, you need to get those things in first and build your schedule around that. Do you think it is possible for moms to find work/life balance? If you schedule your self-care first, you will automatically feel more balanced. Instead of focusing on balance, focus on counterbalance. Sometimes you need to really focus on work. So maybe when that period is over, you can counterbalance with more family time. Other times your family is taking all your time; then you need to talk with your family and explain you will be working longer. How can dads and kids help mothers to have more time for self-care? Partners need to sit down and share what they want out of life. Moms should explain, ‘Here are my reasons why—here is what I need.’ Don’t assume your partner is a mind-reader. Tell him or her what you want: ‘It would be really helpful if you could pick up the clothes from the dry-cleaners or the kids from school.’ Make a workout schedule with your partner, so you are not competing for free time to go to the gym. Do you think there is a cult of busy-ness among women, and how can we get out of it? Being busy has become almost like a badge of honor for moms. I used to be the same way—this whole book is based on mistakes that I’ve made! It’s like we don’t ever want to come across as lazy, so we wind up as martyrs instead. We need to redefine what a happy and healthy life looks like. I want moms to schedule margins—spaces and air in-between activities—a feeling of peace and roominess so we no longer feel so rushed. Why is it important to meditate? I have been consistently meditating now for nearly 20 years. I have ADHD—my mind is always going. Meditation quiets those thoughts and decreases stress. It will increase your immune system and your brain size. It helps depression, too. I wish and hope that moms could do at least 10 minutes before the rest of the family wakes up to set the tone for the rest of the day. Set your intention for the day. You quote extensively from The Slight Edge, which was written by Jeff Olson, founder of Live Happy. I didn’t know that! But the book is so important to me—his philosophy of incremental change leading to big transformation really resonates. I’ve never done anything like this before, but I actually paid my kids $100 to read it! What do you hope readers will take away from the book? The book is written to be used as a yearlong interactive process, with a different focus each month. I believe moms—who are raising the next generation of leaders—are creating a positive ripple effect, and I want to help empower them to be change-agents in the community and in the world. 8 Empowering Takeaways for Moms Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Exercise and good nutrition are necessities, not luxuries. Take little breaks: Have a bath, enjoy a nap, unplug from digital devices. Write down your core values, and make sure your behaviors are aligned with them. Learn to delegate and say “No.” Figure out in which areas of life you might be lacking or over-committing. Create a Personal Action Plan to achieve specific goals. Use The Slight Edge philosophy to make incremental positive changes in your life. Emily Wise Miller is the Web Editor for Live Happy.
Read More
Mom and daughter in a tent indoors.

Create Family Rituals for Greater Happiness and Connection

Rituals that include elements like togetherness, positive emotions, laughter or resilience provide opportunities to build well-being for both parents and children. Free-Wheeling Fun When Australian Kath Ballard thinks about family rituals, bike riding immediately comes to mind. When her first child was 12 months old, Kath and her family transported bikes and camping gear to the Netherlands and spent three weeks exploring the Dutch coastline. When a second child came along, the family cycled down from Germany, through Slovakia and into Hungary. Years later, with a growing family of three children, the plans and equipment became even more intricate. The eldest, at 5 years old, cycled on her own, the 4-year-old pedaled on a tag-along bike, and the littlest rode in a child trailer. Together they cycled through Switzerland, Germany and Austria. “Part of how we define ourselves as a family and a big part of the memories we have as a family are created on these trips,” Kath says. “We talk about the memories for a long time after. Some of my happiest family memories are from these trips.” Kath says that bike trips have provided a resilience mindset for her family. “Most days are just a journey of joy, cycling from one playground to the next, and then on to ice cream rewards at the end of each day,” she says. “Some days were harder when the path was uphill or the distance between stops was longer. This is when working together as a family pulled us through, overcoming challenges and rewarding persistence. The satisfaction when we met these harder goals was always great.” Singing Brings Joy in Singapore Simple family rituals can foster well-being, especially when done regularly. Sha-En Yeo, a mom of two happy-go-lucky girls in Singapore, seizes opportunities for family connection whenever she finds them. Recently Sha-En’s oldest daughter, Sherrie, shared a song she had learned called “I Love the Mountains.” The song is fun and interactive with a place for singers to insert names of things they love in the chorus. “It’s such a catchy song,” says Sha-En. “We have taken to singing this song as a way to bring positivity into the home and to remember what we love.” Sha-En says in doing so, her family gets to know and appreciate what’s important to one another. Little Zoey, the youngest daughter, might sing about loving her pillow or her doggy, while older sister Sherrie sings of more sophisticated things, like loving her iPad or her best friend. Even Sha-En and her husband sing along, adding their own loves to the mix. Sha-En reports that it is not diffcult to sing along, which they do until they are all out of loves. “Generally, we are in a much better mood after singing,” she says. Serving Others—Together Tiffany Davis-Baer is a busy mom with three active boys and a daughter on the way. But that didn’t keep her from creating a ritual for teaching her sons about sacrifice and living a life of service. When Tiffany and her husband, Lt. Cmdr. Rick Baer, were stationed overseas, they noticed that great care was taken in the upkeep of cemeteries that honor the ultimate sacrifice of service members in the World Wars, including those from the United States. This level of care left such an impression on them that they vowed to teach their children the beauty of a life of service. Tiffany created a powerful family ritual of visiting her father’s grave at a national cemetery each holiday to honor the sacrifices he made. “We want our children to understand the significance of sacrifice and of service, as well,” Tiffany says. Not only are Tiffany and Rick teaching service, but they are also strengthening the foundation of well-being in their children. Psychologists Marshall Duke, Ph.D., and Robyn Fivush, Ph.D., teamed up on research that demonstrated the positive impact that knowledge of family history has on the self-esteem and well-being of children. Their “Do You Know...?” scale to assess a child’s knowledge of family narrative turns out to be an excellent predictor of children’s emotional health and well-being. Through the vehicle of family ritual, Tiffany and Rick have discovered a beautiful way to connect themselves and their children to something larger than themselves, one key element of well-being. “My oldest sings ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ beautifully and my middle recites the Pledge of Allegiance each time we pass a  flag,” Tiffany says. “I believe they get it!They understand the sacrifice our ancestors made.” Beyond that, Tiffany also sees the values that her father instilled in her through the actions of her sons. “Each day I see my dad in them, the confidence, the strength to push themselves and each other. The ability to see the good in people,” she says. “I know my dad’s with us...he smiles at me through my sons.” Jan Stanley has worked with Fortune 500 companies, the U.S. Army and Harvard Business School to develop leaders. She is a writer, coach and speaker who helps others find meaning and joy in work and in life.
Read More
Group of diverse people

Understanding Other People’s Behavior

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Explore the impact of technology on social well-being. LifeHack—Learn the simple strategy for brain matching. Practitioner’s Corner—Katrina Goff shares how transitioning from a dental clinic to a resilience coach and trainer changed her life. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center Read the interview from the Practitioner's Corner: Transcription provided by The Flourishing Center Emiliya: Hello everyone and welcome Katrina Goff to our positive psychology Practitioner Corner. Katrina is a Certified Resilience Trainer through The Flourishing Center. She helps people talk back to their thoughts, work with their emotions, and show up in the world the way they want to. She's joining us today from Ozark, Missouri. Something you might not know about Katrina is that she is a grandmother to 20 children. That's two-zero, 20 children. Her and her husband are blessed that between them they have eight children and 20 grandchildren. She is not only thriving in family but thriving in opportunities to share positive psychology with the world. We're so excited to have her here. Thank you Katrina. Katrina: Thank you Emiliya. It's a pleasure to be here today. Emiliya: Katrina, tell us what brought you to this work? Katrina: Oh my goodness. I was on a journey. I went back to school and I was working in a dental clinic. That's where most of my experience work wise has been. I was working with the military but also very passionate to me is helping people to have healthy, happy relationships. I thought that I was on a path to become a marriage and family therapist, but somewhere along the way all the work with the military and hearing my patients come in and share with me that they had PTSD. They would share their stories but I just always noticed their countenance dropped every time that they told me, "Ma'am, I might hit the floor if I hear a loud noise." When they just mentioned that they had PTSD, these very macho and brave men would look defeated. My first class with anything to do with positive psychology was a social psychology class. That was where I first learned about post traumatic growth. I was hooked. I had something that I could share with people that could give them hope rather than a diagnosis that didn't give them hope. I'll never forget the next patient that came in and shared with me that he had PTSD. I listened to his story as I always did and I sat there and then when the opportunity arose, I just asked the patient, "Have you ever heard of post traumatic growth?" He had not and he wanted to know more. I shared with him that it was growth that occurs after you've had a traumatic event and that you either experience a greater purpose and meaning in life, a connection to others, a greater appreciation for your own life, better relationships and connection to a cause. I'll never forget the look on that patient's face when he said, "Ma'am, I got that. I think I have that," and was able to share and pick out a story of how he had been in an improvised explosive device detonation, an IED. Through that, when he came back, he was a drill sergeant so he was able to share with his new recruits how to avoid IEDs because he had experienced it firsthand himself. His whole face lit up. You just saw the positive change that happened. That was my first piece of positive psychology that I learned and I couldn't get enough from there. Emiliya: Wow. What an incredibly touching story, Katrina. Thank you. What are some of the ways in which you're implementing positive psychology today? Katrina: I have been blessed to be able to implement it in many different ways. For the last four years, I've taught at a career college so I knew that these skills and positive psychology were the missing piece of the curriculum, that we could teach people skills and we could teach them knowledge in their field. Positive psychology helps people be able to handle life. We can teach skills that help you show up in the world the way that you want to. I use character strengths with my students so they were able to be prepared for an interview knowing where they were strong. They didn't go into an interview and say, "I'm bubbly." They actually knew where their strengths lied and how they had used them to help them through challenges. That was very empowering. I participated in several years of “character day” at the school and that was really always very rewarding for me as well. I taught a lot of resilience skills as well to my students. I found that growth mindset and fixed mindset showed up so much in my students and how I could help them to see that and to ask questions that were going to leave them somewhere rather than questions that just cause them to judge themselves. Emiliya: For our listeners that are tuning in that might not be familiar with growth mindset and fixed mindset, can you tell us how to share this concept with others? Katrina: I definitely can. Growth mindset and fixed mindset comes from Carol Dweck. I have to admit that I had the book for a while without ever reading it. I knew it was a book I wanted to get to but once I dove into that book and I could see how much that all of us have these tendencies to not just be one way or the other, but both of them show up in our lives in certain ways. Growth mindset will lead people to embrace challenges and to see that we can learn from failure. Fixed mindset tends to show up where you see people who are afraid to make any mistake whatsoever. They don't want to do a procedure. They don't want to learn a new task because they're afraid that they won't be good enough, and why make a mistake? I saw that so often with my students so I was able to teach them that we learn through making mistakes. That was the perfect place to be learning and making mistakes was when we had plastic patients rather than real patients because those times you don't want to make a mistake. I was able to help them to see that and to hopefully recognize it in other areas of their lives so that they could persevere outside the classroom with those skills as well. Emiliya: Thank you for sharing that Katrina. I'm curious, what are some of the more poignant ways in which positive psychology has personally impacted you? Katrina: I think one of the key things again is the character strengths and how, when I was able to recognize my own character strengths and how they showed up my life, then I could really feel free to incorporate those. Even though I was already incorporating them, they're how we show up in the world, but it really gave me a better understanding of myself. Plus, it helps me to look at others and be able to see their strengths and how teams are formed and how we can—where I'm weak and I can use where someone else is strong to accomplish a goal better. Growth mindset and fixed mindset shows up in my world as well. There are still challenges for me. I'm probably in that big group of people that feel that sales is one of those things that I'm just not good at, yet I know through all of this education and this field that we can learn and develop if we put enough time, practice, and get the right resources, that we can be good at anything that we choose to do in life and that there's nothing that's outside of our reach. It may take me a little bit longer, that may not be an area that I'm super strong in, but I can develop those skills. Emiliya: Thank you Katrina. What are some of the most exciting things you're up to right now? Katrina: I have just accepted a position at a community dental clinic as a coordinator of six dental clinics. With this work, I will be able to use positive psychology in my training and hiring and evaluations and putting teams together. I'm really, really excited to find a position that allows me to use my skills and my work as well as my love and passion and knowledge in positive psychology. It's just a great fit. I have a lot of freedom to incorporate this as I see will benefit the teams and the clinics. I'm really excited about that. Emiliya: Thank you Katrina. In positive psychology, we frequently talk a lot about the importance of self-care. We say that self-care is healthcare. What are some of the self-care principles that guide you in your day to day life? Katrina: I'm so glad you brought that up because that is something that I really do incorporate into my life. Sometimes we get so busy that we actually forget even though we know this is so important to who we are. It's so important to take that time to replenish ourselves. One of the things that I do that my husband thinks is pretty funny is I refuse to choose where we eat. It’s something that depletes me to make that decision, so I don't really like that; I save my decisions for more important things in life, so I tell him I don't have to choose where we eat. I'll just pick what I want when we get there. I love being out in nature. I do love the beauty of the sunrise and the sunset and the stars and the ocean. Recently, my husband and I just got back from Florida. We were able to take some down time to just really invest in ourselves personally and in our relationship because both of us are in this helping field of coaching and speaking and training. We do tend to put so many other people before ourselves so we do have to recognize that self-care, whether that's a bubble bath, whether that's just quiet time, your favorite music, exercise, whatever that works for you. For me, I enjoy quiet time and I do enjoy just the beauty of nature around me. Emiliya: Thank you for sharing that. One of the questions we've been asking our interviewees is: What is your definition of what it means to flourish? Katrina: That's a great question, Emiliya. I definitely love “to show up the world the way that you want to.” I think that we all have that ability when we are equipped with the skillset and mindset of resilience. It really does help us to push through life and to thrive. I feel like when we're using our gifts, our skills, and our passions and we're incorporating that as our purpose in life, how we show up in this world, that's when I feel like I'm thriving. That's where I feel like I am right now in my life because that I have been equipped with the knowledge from The Flourishing Center and through other sources as well and that I know what my gifts are, I know what my strengths are, and I know what I'm passionate about, and I know that I get to show up in the world and I get to use my purpose. I take my purpose with me everywhere that I am. I think so many people are so scared of the word purpose and they are thinking it's elusive in that they can't reach it when our purpose is what we're living daily. We can take that with us. Recently, I was struggling with a few things. We hear when your why is big enough, you don't have to worry about your how. I thought about that and it's so true but when your why is big enough, you don't have to worry about your how or your where. All you have to worry about is that you do because you take that calling and that purpose with you. When you do that, you are thriving. Emiliya: Wow. Such an inspiration with those words, Katrina. Yes, the words “showing up the world the way that you want to,” which refers it to me by Dr. Srikumar Rao, are ones that I both repeat often. It's a question I ask myself often, "Am I showing up in the world the way that I want to? How do I want to show up in the world around this situation?" It's a powerful question to ask. Katrina, what have you found have been some of the biggest obstacles you faced in trying to introduce positive psychology? Some would say, "Wow, in a dental office, how does that work?" I would imagine that not every single person is not as bright eyed and bushy tailed, or some people might think you've drank some Kool-Aid. I think one of the biggest challenges is just helping people to understand that positive psychology isn't “happyology.” It isn't about happy all the time. There is definitely times in our lives and situations where it's not appropriate to be happy but working with our emotions, not getting stuck in our emotions, is one of the things that I really want people to know. That is how I want to help them in this world, is learning when and how. It's learning character strengths, when you can overuse one or underuse one. There's just so much that we can use in positive psychology to touch every person. I believe it belongs in every company, every organization. I think just that it's still so new to a lot of people—they just aren't understanding what we have to offer in the world. I think reframing it in ways that really help people to realize the benefit is one of the ways that we can push past some of these challenges. Emiliya: Katrina, how can people learn more about you and follow up with you if they have any questions about your work? Katrina: Probably the best way is on my Facebook, PS3 Coaching. That's usually where you'll see my workshops that I have going on. You'll also see a link to the character strengths survey so that everyone can have access to that information. If they want more information on what to do from that, then they can reach me. I give a free consultation and help people to see if incorporating coaching can help them to reach those goals in their life that they would like to. I give a lot of workshops at the Bounce Back Better® system. Thank you, Emiliya, for creating that and sharing that with us so that we can share it in the world, one of the most incredible experiences that I ever had to go through the program as well as the CAPP Program. Both of those are so intense in my life and they have really equipped me with everything I need to help people to know more about this work. I teach pieces of positive psychology that I incorporate in with MLMs. I recently did a Growing Your Mindset, Growing Your Business. I just incorporated some pieces of the growth mindset from Carol Dweck and some other elements that I feel like are very important for people to grow their business and just understand those key elements of how our self-doubt shows up and what we can do with that. Emiliya: I know earlier we mentioned that you have such a robust family. I'm curious, how do you bring positive psychology to eight children and 20 grandchildren? Katrina: They get it whether they want it or not probably. It's who I am. It's how I show up in the world. I love that I have this knowledge base to share with my children and our grandchildren, teaching them how to look for what's strong in others, even growth mindset. I sat down with one of my granddaughters who has very high expectations for herself. She was reading and every time she came to a word that she didn't understand, if I had to help her with the word or if I chose to help her when she wasn't getting the word, then she would stop and she would go back to the page and start all over again. I thought, "Well, how can I incorporate growth mindset into this situation with my granddaughter to help her to understand?" I said, "Can I read the next poem in your book?" She said, "Yes, Nana, you can." I started to read and I got to a word and I pretended that I didn't understand the word or didn't know how to pronounce the word and I tried to pronounce it. Then, I said, "Can you help me with this? This is kind of a tough one." I said, "You know? It's okay that we don't know every word. It's all right that we're just learning. The next time we'll probably get it right after we learn it." We got through that and I did that exercise with her a few times. The next time when she went to read again, every time she came to a word that she would try and did not know how to pronounce, she would look at me, I would help her and then she would say it and she would continue on. She didn't have the need to go back to the beginning of the story again because she didn't want to be wrong. I thought, "Wow, I teach this but this is real time." We can see how beneficial this is in real time to teach our children and our grandchildren that it's our right to make a mistake. We don't have to be perfect and we learn from our mistakes. Emiliya: I love that. Thank you for sharing such a specific and impactful way to bring growth mindset into the life of a child. Again, just want to highlight how it's the micro moments, those tiny little moments that add up to the bigger changes that we can make over time. Katrina, thank you so much for being here with us. It's been an honor to learn more about you and how you're implementing this work in the world. Thank you so much for sharing everything that you have with us. Katrina: Thank you Emiliya. I really appreciated the opportunity. As I said before, I can't thank you enough for creating the CAPP Program, the Certification in Applied Positive Psychology, and I followed that program for a while before I was able to step out and take it. It was one of the most impactful things in my entire life. Then with the Bounce Back Better® Program as well. Everyone needs this information. Every company, every organization, every school needs it. I'm just so proud to be able to pin it into my piece of the world and help people to have the skills to face adversity and just keep going. Emiliya: Thank you so much Katrina. It's an honor to be able to just create the container and share these tools. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Have a question about the science of happiness and wellbeing? Or, have an issue that you'd love a life hack around? Send us a message to info@theflourishingcenter.com and we'd love to offer you some positive psychology based skills to address your questions. Thanks for listening and we look forward to connecting with you soon.
Read More
Person writing a Thank You note

Discover the Hidden Power of ‘Thank You’

From the time we learn how to talk, it seems that we are being told to remember to say “thank you.” Our parents weren’t just teaching us manners; they were providing us with a tool for lasting happiness. “We now know that having good social relationships is as good for you as things like smoking and obesity are bad for you,” says Sara Algoe, Ph.D., of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “It turns out that there’s an emotion that happens to be really amazing at helping us solve this essential human problem of survival. And that emotion is gratitude.” One of the most significant keys to longevity and well-being is being able to acquire and maintain high-quality relationships. Gratitude, Sara says, is the glue that can bring people together as well as creating happiness from the inside out. Putting the ‘You’ in ‘Thank You’ Research, including Sara’s, shows that experiencing gratitude has immediate benefits. Learning to harness this power and becoming more intentional about it can improve our relationships and bolster our own health and happiness. “When we feel gratitude toward someone, we spring into action and reach out,” she explains. “It’s that act of reaching out that can draw another person into a relationship.” And, Sara adds, it can improve existing relationships. When she conducted a study among couples in which one partner expressed gratitude to the other for a specific act, the rewards were exponential. “Let’s say [the wife] did something nice for [her husband], just because she wanted to,” Sara says. The wife feels good for having done something nice and the husband is a happy beneficiary. But when he expresses his gratitude for her act of kindness, he now has reinforced her positive feelings. “So two people win for one person’s gratitude.” And, when you make gratitude a practice, Sara says, it changes the way others perceive you—and can have a ripple effect in your social network. “People who express positivity in general are seen as friendlier, more competent and more likable,” Sara says. “Gratitude amplifies that. People see you as being more willing to help, but they also want to help you. They’re nice to you, they want to hang out with you—all of those are things that are good for your health.” Gratitude: It’s Good for You! Sara confirms what many studies have revealed: Practicing gratitude really could make you live longer—and better. While her work takes a closer look at the effect of gratitude on relationships, other studies have shown a direct link between good health and giving thanks. Researchers at the SWPS University of Social Sciences and Humanities in Poland recently looked at the effects of practicing gratitude on four groups: depressed men, depressed women, breast cancer patients and prostate cancer patients. After a 14-day training period in which they learned to reflect on what they were thankful for, all groups showed an increased sense of well-being and greater perception of social support. A similar study from the same university focused solely on gratitude interventions in treating depression and found that practices such as keeping a gratitude journal, writing a letter of gratitude, counting blessings and gratitude visits all had a powerful effect, with journals being the most effective. Subjects who participated in the interventions increased their subjective happiness, improved their relationships, slept better and had more perceived social support. “Gratitude is a psychological amplifier of the good in one’s life,” says Philip Watkins, Ph.D., of Eastern Washington University. Gratitude’s Secret Sauce Philip’s recent research looks at what activates gratitude and what ingredients are necessary to make it effective. The most critical component, he says, is appreciation. “Appreciation can best be understood as when something increases in perceived personal value,” he says. “Perceived value, and more importantly, increasing perceived value, is extremely important to gratitude.” Ironically, trauma may be one of the most effective means of triggering appreciation. In our daily lives, we may become accustomed to “the way things are,” and that can cause us to overlook the small things we appreciate. “When you experience a traumatic event…you begin to notice simple blessings that you had previously taken for granted,” Philip says. Exercises such as counting your blessings have also been shown to be effective in teaching appreciation. He says the more we learn about gratitude, the more we will learn how to cultivate it and use it as a tool for better health, happiness and longevity. “Gratitude has a variety of effects on us,” Sara says. “In the end, expressing gratitude builds a bridge to other people and invites them to cross it.” Four Ways to Boost Gratitude 1. Keep a gratitude journal. Make a practice of writing down three to five things you are grateful for—every day—and explain why each one makes you grateful. 2. Count your blessings. Before going to sleep each night, call to mind one or two things you are grateful for. 3. Write a gratitude letter. Write a letter to someone in your present or past to whom you’re grateful. 4. Pay a gratitude visit. If you’ve written a gratitude letter or note, pay a visit to the person it’s directed to and read it aloud. Read more: 4 Gratitude Rituals to Increase Kindness and Joy Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
Read More
Great Holiday Gifts

15 Fabulous Holiday Gifts That Give Back

1. Made With Love Zazzle Heart Leather Tote from UBUNTU Made ($149.00, zazzle.com). Each piece from the Adventure Collection, a collaboration with UBUNTU and Zazzle, is handmade by artisans in Kenya. The proceeds from the sale of each tote bag directly benefit the health and well-being of the Maai Mahiu village. 2. Good Stewards Blabla (blablakids.com) was founded on the principles of fair trade and sustainability. The company’s handcrafted dolls are made responsibly, and 5 percent of the profits support environmental organizations including “Beauregard the Wolf,” $46 (edf.org), and “River the Elephant,” $58 (charitywater.org). “Now that our environment feels more threatened, we want to make a difference. We hope this new initiative will inspire others to make a difference, too!” —Blabla founder Susan Pritchett 3. Save the Turtles Support the Nature Conservancy by purchasing a Sea Turtle Nest gift set, which includes a bookmark, certificate and plush toy (minimum donation $25, gifts.nature.org). 4. Glimmer of Hope Light up your life with the Luci Color Essence Mini Trio of solar-powered lights in colors like violet, sky, coral and mint ($44.95, mpowerd.com). With each purchase, a community somewhere around the world will have access to a Luci light. 5. Stampede of Cuteness These Baby Stuffed Elephants are made by artisans in Laos using natural dyes ($24–$40, stfrank.com); Peace Coasters are created in the same traditional weaving technique of the Agaseke and handmade by women of Rwanda, providing them with socioeconomic opportunity to rebuild their communities and support their families. 6. Giving Grins Humble Brush is an earth-friendly toothbrush made from biodegradable bamboo. Each purchase helps support oral health education around the world ($4.99, humblesmile.org). 7. Baked Goods Satisfy that sweet tooth and help raise funds for childhood cancer with this Commemorative Cookie Gift Box in oatmeal chocolate chip, citrus shortbread and snickerdoodle. ($29.99, cookiesforkidscancer.org). 8. Sparkle & Shine Each bottle of bubbly California Brut Sparkling Wine Rainbow Glitter Edition supports The Trevor Project’s suicide prevention helpline, while each purchase of the California Brut Sparkling Wine Gold Glitter Edition provides 15 meals to a child in need ($59, onehopewine.com). 9. Spat and Happy Make holiday baking extra fun with these wildly eclectic spatulas designed by celebrities like Bobby Flay and Faith Hill—exclusive to Williams Sonoma ($12.95, williamsonoma.com) and 30 percent of the proceeds will benefit nokidhungry.org. The winner or best-selling design will have $5,000 donated on their behalf. 10. Scarves That Save Wrap up in style with these colorful Handcrafted Raw Silk Scarves. The women who make them are from the Community Trade Link in Kathmandu, Nepal. Through fair trade, they support themselves and their families and ultimately improve their lives ($50 each, sushannatural.com). 11. Good Food Two socially conscious businesses, FEED and Mouth, have partnered to curate a fabulous foodie FEED + Mouth Gift Bag, including sweet and savory treats and a wine tote. Each set provides five meals to hungry children around the world ($48, mouth.com and feedprojects.com). 12. Deck the Halls Hand-embroidered by artisan women in Kyrgyzstan through fair trade, the festive Holiday Brights Red Garland is made from responsibly sourced wool ($52, craftspring.com). 13. Close-Knit Beanies Both Camp Pom and Colorblock Beanie help support the United By Blue Cleanup initiative aimed to clean up trash from the world’s waterways ($38, unitedbyblue.com). 14. Bracelet Beauties Spanish jewelry brand UNOde50 has designed a special Rett Awareness Bracelet, which supports research and treatments for Rett syndrome, a neurological developmental disorder discovered in girls within the first two years of life ($45, unode50.com). 15. Share Your Happy Shop T-shirts from our Live Happy store ($19.95; store.livehappy.com)
Read More