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Financial Well-Being and Positive Psychology

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—A 2010 study shows that high income improves evaluation of life but not well-being, since day to day emotional well-being is quite different from our thoughts about life satisfaction. LifeHack—How to use PERMA-V to achieve your financial goals through supporting your overall well-being. Practitioner’s Corner—Meet Carin Rockind, Founder of Women’s Global Happiness Day. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center

Flourishing Center

Emodiversity of Positive Emotions, Health and Well-Being

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—A new study links emodiversity of positive emotions to reduced inflammation in the body. LifeHack—How to tell the difference between basking and boasting. Practitioner’s Corner—Meet Tanis Frame, a thrive catalyst and play evangelist who has spent her life chasing curiosity and Frisbees. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center

Podcast

Building Resilience and Well-Being With Karen Reivich

As director of the Resilience and Positive Psychology Training program at the Psychology Center of the University of Pennsylvania, Dr. Karen Reivich specializes in what makes us bounce back from adversity. Join us as she shares the attributes that help us create more resilience in our lives—and how we can teach our children to become more resilient, too. What you'll learn in this episode: Why some of us are naturally more resilient than others How to start teaching resiliency skills to children The role of optimism in resilience Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Purchase her book The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strengths and Overcoming Life's Hurdles. Follow Karen on Twitter. Karen's course, "Positive Psychology: Resilience Skills" is offered online. To enroll in the Foundation of Positive Psychology Specialization, visit https://www.coursera.org/specializations/positivepsychology#courses.

Self-Care

13 Easy Ways to Boost Your Well-Being

It is always a good idea to give yourself a mental tuneup to help ward off any blue moods. In honor of Mental Health Month, here are a few ideas to help you keep your mind motoring toward happiness. 1. Attitude matters A bad attitude can have adverse effects on your physical health. According to the organization Mental Health of America, people with a positive attitude outlive their grumpy peers over a 30-year period. A few ways to stay optimistic: stop ruminating over the past, don’t worry so much about the future and express a lot of gratitude. 2. The less stress the better Too much stress hurts. And when you have too much for too long, it can even be deadly. Mithu Storoni, Ph.D., author of Stress-Proof: The Scientific Solution to Building a Resilient Brain and Life, writes that when the mind is in an “optimal state” it can fight off stress easier, bolstering the immune system and slowing the effects of disease. Breathing techniques and simple meditations can be quick antidotes to stress when you find yourself a little frayed. 3. Get out and move Sedentary lifestyles can have real consequences on physical and mental health, including increased risks of stroke, heart attacks, cognitive decline and depressed moods. According to the Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, more than 80 percent of U.S. adults and adolescents do not meet the guidelines for aerobic and muscle-strengthening activities. If you can’t seem to part with electronic devices that keep you in your chair, find an app to help you get moving. A recent study from Duke Health found that the mobile game Pokémon Go encouraged millions to get up and walk. Participants were twice as likely to reach their 10,000-step goal when playing the game. 4. Good food is brain food Eating healthier is a no-brainer when it comes to good physical health, but it is also great for your brain. According to a recent Gallup Poll, U.S. adults who reported eating healthy in the recent past are 34.1 percent less likely to have depression. Drew Ramsey, psychiatrist, farmer and author of Fifty Shades of Kale and The Happiness Diet says that eating the right foods, including nuts, beans and seafood, can actually boost your mood. 5. Forgive to flourish “It is very difficult to be happy when one is complaining about the past. It is very hard to be happy when we experience ourselves as helpless victims of fate or another person. Forgiveness provides us the evidence that we can cope with life’s difficulties so we don’t have to live afraid and constricted.” —Fred Luskin, Ph.D. 6. Sleep your worries away Improving sleep habits is a great way to care for your emotional and mental health. The National Sleep Foundation estimates that 35 percent of Americans aren’t getting quality sleep. Researchers from the University of Warwick in the U.K. say quality sleep is more important to improving health and happiness than the quantity of Z’s. They equate the feeling we get after a good night’s sleep to that of “winning the lottery.” 7. Laugh often “Laughter is the verbalization of happiness,” says comedian and happiness expert Yakov Smirnoff. “So if it’s a healthy laugh, not nervous laughter, but a healthy, mirthful laugh, it is triggered by humor.” For more, check out our podcast with Yakov. 8. Be excellent to each other Studies show that when people engage in acts of kindness, they experience positive emotions that lead to a release of oxytocin (the love hormone) in the body. Kindness has also been associated with a reduction in symptoms of depression and anxiety. 9. Don’t forget to love yourself “Our mind state is constantly affecting the mind state of others. If we are grumpy and irritable, the people around us are grumpy and irritable. We feed on each other’s emotions. So when you start practicing self-compassion, other people pick up on that and the more you are in this calm, kind, connected place, the more the people around you feel that way, too.” —Kristin Neff, Ph.D, author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. 10. Practice makes perfect “Whatever we water and cultivate conscientiously thrives and blooms in a regular garden….Bring to mind gratitude and other positive emotions often, and soon they will grow and take over the garden of your heart.”—Joseph Emet, author of Finding the Blue Sky: A Mindful Approach to Choosing Happiness Here and Now. 11. Stay away from all work and no play Danes take their free time very seriously. Malene Rydahl writes in Happy as a Dane: 10 Secrets of the Happiest People in the World, that the Danes dedicate nearly 70 percent of each day to personal activities and spending time with friends and family. It’s this kind of attitude that makes Denmark one of the happiest countries in the world, according to the World Happiness Reports. 12. Slow down “In today’s busy world, our mind is continuously active, jumping from one item to the next at a dizzying speed. Not only is this behavior exhausting, but it can impair how well we attend to any of the tasks at hand. Indeed, much of what crosses our paths does not require our attention or care, but it nonetheless consumes space in our consciousness. Over time, the background noise becomes a normal state, and we lose track of it—falling deeper into a state of mental fatigue, in turn limiting our ability to process important events and emotions. To counteract the deleterious effects of the noise, we need to refocus our attention on a smaller number of subjects. The practice of mindfulness does just that.” —Dr. Michael Finkelstein, internal medicine and holistic physician and author of Slow Medicine: Hope and Healing for Chronic Illness. 13. Savor the flavor “When we can fully engage with our lives, we are happier, less stressed and more grateful. In addition, we’re more likely to remember and recall the calm, peaceful and joyful times, which can help sustain us through the more difficult ones. We don’t have to wait for sunsets on the beach or fancy weddings; we can practice savoring the smaller moments that happen on a daily basis, such as drinking a hot cup of coffee, snuggling our children or eating dinner with a friend.” —Carla Naumburg, Ph.D., author of Ready, Set, Breathe: Practicing Mindfulness with Your Children for Fewer Meltdowns and a More Peaceful Family. Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Practice

33 Ideas on Well-being

If our goal is to live the good life, then we need to have a happy mind, body and soul. Here are a few ideas to help you keep the well in your well-being. 1. “Zest is the secret of all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without zest.” —Christian Dior 2. Be kind to your heart. 3. Read Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements by Tom Rath and Jim Harter, Ph.D. 4. Watch Happy. 5. Schedule a checkup. 6. Devote some time to appreciating those around you. 7. “Reaching beyond where you are is really important.” —Martin Seligman, Ph.D. 8. Listen to “Wonderful (The Way I Feel)” by My Morning Jacket. 9. Exercise 30 minutes a day, at least five days a week. 10. Donate a heifer. 11. “When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” —Peace Pilgrim 12. Read Pursuing the Good Life by Christopher Peterson. 13. Listen to “Living Well is the Best Revenge” by REM. 14. Stay hydrated. 15. Read The Blue Zones Solution by Dan Buettner. 16. Get more financially fit. Read more: Are You Guilty of These 5 Unhealthy Spending Habits? 17. “The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years.” —Deepak Chopra 18. Define your purpose. 19. Listen to “Do Whatcha Wanna” by the Rebirth Brass Band. 20. Read Walking by Henry David Thoreau. 21. “If you are happy, if you’re feeling good, then nothing else matters.” —Robin Wright Read more: 10 Happy Tips to Boost Your Well-Being Today 22. Get quality sleep. 23. Listen to “These are the Days of Our Lives” by Queen. 24. Be good to yourself. 25. Find the good in others. 26. Listen to “Feeling Good” by Michael Buble. 27. “All that really matters is that the people you love are happy and healthy. Everything else is just sprinkles on the sundae.” —Paul Walker 28. Join a moai. 29. Read The Road to Character by David Brooks. 30. “Your body hears everything your mind says.” —Naomi Judd 31. Life is miraculous. Live it that way. 32. “Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body.” —Joseph Addison 33. Check out the April print edition for 33 ideas on how to live happy. Want more? Listen to our podcast, Live Happy Now: Valorie Burton explains How to Find Your Happiness Trigger.

Positive Psychology

Character and Well-Being

Sir Anthony Seldon is often described as Britain’s best-known schoolmaster. He’s a pioneer in education, biographer to three prime ministers, an author or editor of more than two dozen books and a knight of the realm. He’s also witty in a disarmingly quirky way. Answering the phone he asks, “Is this Michelle Obama?” “Sir Seldon, I’m calling with Live Happy magazine,” I say. “Oh. Mrs. Obama is the only American I know. But please do call me Anthony,” he responds. His light-hearted tone quickly turns more serious when the topic turns to his hopes for the newly organized International Positive Education Network (IPEN), which he leads as president. A new way of looking at education “I think the world over, we are seeing schools and colleges which are squandering the potential for the development of young people—of their characters, their personalities, their humanness—because they are saying the only thing that matters is the passing of exams and tests, and this is at best a shame and at worst a disaster and travesty,” Anthony says from his office at Wellington College in Berkshire, where he serves as headmaster. “It’s also based on a complete failure to understand that it isn’t a case of either teaching for tests or teaching for personal growth and happiness; if you teach for happiness and growth and character, you’ll get better exam results because you’ll be developing their intrinsic motivations rather than extrinsic motivations. They’ll want to learn and flourish because of their own inner wishes rather than the fear of the teacher or of punishment. The development of character “So it couldn’t be more important that IPEN is active across the world because we have to fight this cruel ideology, which is subverting lives of young people, allegedly in their interest, but actually in the interest of governments, which are petrified of their countries doing badly [in terms of student test scores],” he says. “Aristotle made it very clear: Education is about the development of character and character strengths, as well as scholastic education.” IPEN’s goals are to support collaboration to promote positive education, change education practice and reform government policy. Check out IPEN's list of favorite books about character and positive education. An illustrious career Anthony, who holds a doctorate as well as the titles of fellow of the Royal Society of Arts and of the Royal Historical Society, has written biographies of prime ministers John Major, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. His latest book, Beyond Happiness: The Trap of Happiness and How to Find Deeper Meaning and Joy, published in March by Yellow Kite, aims to help readers achieve “inner transformation,” he says. “Many people get by, but they don’t live life that is nearly as profound, meaningful, engaged, satisfying, human or indeed spiritual as it could be. And the book is trying to show people how to do that, based on my own experience.” Anthony, who plans to leave Wellington next year after a decade as headmaster, remembers a parent asking him early in his tenure what he most wanted for students. “I want them to be happy,” he responded. He introduced happiness and well-being courses the same year. Since then, Wellington has become the most improved school in Britain. Its ranking among the roughly 3,000 schools in the nation has improved from 256th to 21st, based on scores on exams students take when they leave school at age 18. Getting with the program The program encompasses physical health, positive relationships, perspective (or building a “psychological immune system”), engagement in the things one does, living sustainably in the world, and finding meaning and purpose. Wellington also offers very popular courses for parents, with topics that have included managing anxiety, active and constructive responding, and “the magical state of engagement,” Anthony says. An education in happiness Instruction in happiness and well-being can benefit children of all ages, as well as adults, agrees James O’Shaughnessy, who heads the IPEN steering committee and is the founder of the not-for-profit Floreat Education, which aims to help children flourish through character development and academic achievement. James says positive education isn’t new, and it is being offered in various forms and places around the world. There’s no single best approach, but it is important to bring together and present the different voices and perspectives, which is where IPEN comes in. What will success look like for IPEN? “We joke that we won’t settle for anything less than world domination,” James says. Anthony’s hopes are no less lofty, and this time, he’s not joking. “If people at every school, college and home start living lives which are more holistic, harmonious and happy, then I think at that point, IPEN can close down because we’ve done our job.”

work

The New Science of Workplace Well-Being

As you have probably noticed, time is a nonrenewable resource; there are only so many hours we can work in each day. Energy, however, is renewable. Thankfully, more and more employers are becoming wise to the fact that by replenishing our energy stores regularly we can operate at peak performance. Running on empty When we are running on fumes, exhausted, stressed out, we all know we aren’t very productive. “The way we’re working isn’t working,” says Tony Schwartz, founder of The Energy Project,citing the title of his latest book. The Energy Project has identified four core needsthat even small workplace changes can support: physical health, emotional happiness, mental focus and spiritual purpose. “What we are beginning to see enacted in corporations across the country is nothing short of a paradigm shift,” Tony says. One shift we can make, suggests Tony, is to work according to our natural ultradian rhythms: Doing high-demand, focused work in blocks of no more than 90 minutes, then taking a break. The end of face time? Many corporations have traditionally promoted a culture of face time and endless work hours to the detriment of employee work-life balance—and even to the detriment of a company’s own balance sheet. Researchers are finding that those who work constantly, check their phones at all hours and never take vacation days are on their way to burnout, which results in lost income and time for both employer and worker. A changing workplace On the other hand, things that may seem counterintuitive, like taking a short afternoon nap, meditating and engaging in enjoyable non-work activities during work hours, in some studies seem to increase productivity. Dr. Colleen Georges, a positive psychologist and coach, often sees the negative toll that an organizational culture of ceaseless working can have on employee satisfaction and performance through her clients. She will often suggest they try “booster breaks,” such asphysical activityand meditation during the workday. The power of the nap This concept was pioneered by Wendell Taylor, Ph.D., of the University of Texas, among others, who found that these activities can increase employee job satisfaction, energy and productivity, reduce stress, and potentially decrease healthcare costs and improve organizational image. Furthermore, studies consistently show that employees who take breaks at work to relax and reenergize are happier and more productive at work than their counterparts who use breaks to catch up on emails or run errands. What does this look like in action? In their own firm, The Energy Project employees start with four weeks per year of vacation time. They can work from wherever they want, and are encouraged to leave the office for daytime breaks. Their open, modern office—punctuated by colorful graphics and the words “passion” and “focus” on the glass walls of the conference room—includes “renewal rooms” for naps or meditation. They hold community meetings to check in with how people are feeling and check in with the mission. Seeing the results Ron Zumstein is vice president of manufacturing and a 27-year veteran of Ablemarle Corp. [[link]], a Louisiana chemical company, a client of The Energy Project. Ron says what they learned through working with The Energy Project has empowered their employees, which helps them drive the company forward and creates leaders. But even if we don’t work for one of these forward-thinking companies, we all have the ability to more effectively manage our energy. Creating rituals to ensure we get enough sleep, exercise and downtime supports our core needs.

Self-Care

Faith-Based Friendships Increase Well-being

People who go to church have higher levels of well-being than those who don’t, according to a Gallup Poll; but a study in the American Sociological Review shows that happiness has more to do with your friendships at your place of worship than your faith. Chaeyoon Lim, a sociology professor at University of Wisconsin-Madison, says “the evidence substantiates that it is not really going to church and listening to sermons or praying that makes people happier, but making church-based friends and building intimate social networks there.” With faith-based friendships, people experience a sense of connectedness and belonging that may improve their sense of well-being. Cultivate your friendships at your church, synagogue or place of worship, and you just may end up more satisfied with your life. Try these reminders: Be the person you want to meet. If you want a friend, be a friend. Your smile and friendly banter can easily lead to new friendships at church. Greet people and introduce yourself to someone new each week. Consider attending your place of worship at the same time weekly so you can see many of the same faces. Recognition more easily leads to new friendships. Ask another person or family out for breakfast or coffee after a service. Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Projectsays, “Radiate energy and good humor. Because of the phenomenon of ‘emotional contagion,’ people catch the emotions of other people, and they prefer to catch an upbeat, energetic mood.” Don’t just attend services; attend the activities hosted by your congregation. People who attend functions hosted by their church are likely to have similar interests and values, and more open to making new friendships. Events after services are often more casual in nature and more conducive to forging friendships. Get to know the leaders in your church or synagogue. If you attend services at a large congregation, it can be a bit intimidating trying to get to know people in the beginning. If you are new to your church or synagogue, focus on the leadership first—because it’s their job to know everyone, and they can introduce you to other people. Volunteer- Offer to make food for a function, hand out bulletins or welcome newcomers; organize an event or help with community fundraisers; get involved with religious study, youth groups, sporting events or other projects affiliated with your church. As you work alongside others, friendships will naturally evolve. “Rather than trying to figure out what everybody can do for you, start looking for things you can do for somebody else,” says Joel Osteen, pastor of the Lakewood Church whose church sermons are broadcast worldwide. “Make relational deposits wherever you go. Be a giver rather than a taker. Give compliments freely and seek to make every person you meet feel important.” Faith and friendships offer a sense of connectedness that’s tied closely to personal contentment. Friendships with a shared religious connection you can count on for social support provide a sense of security and belonging. As you invest in others and build your community of friendships, you also will be making deposits in your own well-being. SandraBienkowski, owner of The Media Concierge, LLC, is a national writer of wellness and personal development content and a social media expert.

Two people hugging and showing love to a cow.

Self-Care

Transcript – The Healing Power of Hugging Cows With Ellie Laks

Follow along with the transcript below for episode: The Healing Power of Hugging Cows With Ellie Laks [INTRODUCTION] [0:00:08.6] PF: Welcome to Happiness Unleashed, with your host, Brittany Darrenbacher, presented by Live Happy. If you’ve never thought of cows as intuitive healers, this episode just might change your mind. Ellie Laks is the founder of The Gentle Barn Foundation, a national organization that rescues and rehabilitates abused and discarded farm animals. She is the creator of Cow Hug Therapy and as she explains in her book by the same name, she has learned amazing lessons from these animals about life, death, and everything in between. She’s here today to share some of those lessons with us. So, let’s have a listen. [INTERVIEW] [0:00:47.3] BD: Ellie, welcome to the show, I’m so excited you’re here. [0:00:50.9] EL: I’m so excited to be here. This is going to be the best conversation ever. [0:00:54.6] BD: I met Ellie recently. I went out to The Gentle Bar, my husband and I took a road trip to Nashville and we got to check this space out. This is a big question, like right out of the gate. [0:01:06.7] EL: I’m ready. [0:01:07.5] BD: You talk a lot about how growing up, you did not feel connected to other humans in the way that you did with nature and animals, and I just resonate with that so deeply and I know that our listeners feel the same way. Why do you think that is, that animals and nature just so innately feel like home and like safety to people like us? [0:01:31.1] EL: I love that question and I have spent a lifetime trying to figure that out because I had very loving parents. They took really good care of us and they loved us and so, you know, I’m not sitting here thinking, it’s anyone’s, you know, main fault. I just – when I look back in my childhood, I felt completely at home in the woods and lakes by my houses. I felt completely at home with my dog and my bird and the animals that shared our home that I brought home. I just felt like they saw me, they understood me and they accepted me as I am. I didn’t feel like I had to be someone else, I didn’t have to edit my speech, I didn’t have to modify my actions. I could just simply be me and I was a hundred percent accepted and somewhere along the line, I didn’t feel that way about people, and I don't know if it was the kids at school. I just saw so much bullying and so much judgment and criticism and so much cruelty that maybe that made me feel unsafe. But somewhere along the line, I felt like I had to always be an edited version of myself around people but a completely free and pure version of myself around animals, and I have a beautiful family, a husband, I have kids, and grandkids, I have beautiful, wonderful friends and coworkers that I love dearly, but they’re just something very special still, being beside an animal that I feel like the best version of myself, and I just feel home. [0:03:03.8] BD: I wanted to ask this question first because I think this really informs the conversation that we’re about to have, and it clearly informed your life’s work. Tell the listeners about The Gentle Barn, how this began, where they can find it. [0:03:18.1] EL: So, The Gentle Barn is a 25-year-old national organization located in Los Angeles California, Nashville Tennessee in Saint Louis Missouri. We very specifically taken animals that have nowhere else to go, because they’re too old, too sick, too injured, or too scared to be adoptable. We bring them in and put them through a very extensive rehabilitation program, and once they’re healed, we partner with them to heal people with the same stories of trauma. So, eventually, if the animal chooses to, they can partner with us to really hearts and change minds to who these animals are and to really do incredible work with people that are suffering from depression, anxiety, grief, trauma. People that are really suffering and words and talk therapy is just not cutting it, they can come and then they embrace of our beautiful animals, they can really find themselves. [0:04:08.2] BD: Yeah, and these are farm animals, and so for many people, and you know, I live in Kentucky and I was raised on farms where these animals were not considered sentient beings, were not considered equals, were not even looked at in the way that our dogs or our cats were, and so I just wonder what wisdom and insight you might be able to offer to our listeners that maybe grew up in like, similar scenarios that are really interested in being around animals and learning more about what farm animals have to offer and that it’s not a hierarchy, right? It’s – animals are not in hierarchy and we shouldn’t be them as such. [0:04:52.9] EL: Yeah. If anything, I think that animals are far superior to us. Far superior, and they have so much to teach us and so many ways to heal us, and if we could just stop doing what we’re doing to them and pay attention and listen, they would change us all, and at The Gentle Barn, they are changing humans every single day. It’s hard to connect with animals that are in survival mode, right? Like on animal agriculture, like on working farms, those animals know what’s going to befall them, they know that their babies are being taken away, they’re in survival mode every single day. So, it’s harder to connect with animals like that because they don’t know who to trust or how to trust but I mean, I would say, oh my God, find a sanctuary near you because there are so many sanctuaries popping up all over the country, or plan a trip to The Gentle Barn and come see who these animals really truly are. The way they celebrate birth, the way they grieve death, the way they get married and fall in love and break up and have fights and have drama and just like we do, who they really are when there is no trauma, when there is no fear when they’re safe and loved and respected to see who they are with each other and see who they are with us, oh my God. I mean, I filled a book with it, right? [0:06:06.8] BD: My husband and I, we came out to The Gentle Barn in Nashville and we’re animal lovers. We’ve experienced a lot of healing atmospheres with animals but that trip out there was incredible and to be able to experience Cow Hug Therapy, which we’re going to get into in a minute was next level but the animal that stands out to me the most, and you’ll have to remind me what this turkey’s name is, it’s mostly like a white, a beautiful white color. And I would just put my hands out and the turkey would walk up and just push its like chest, like its breast like, into my hand, and just stare at me, and it was a really profound moment of connection with this turkey that I’ve never had in my life. [0:06:51.5] EL: Was her name Spirit? [0:06:53.0] BD: Yes, yes. Spirit. [0:06:55.0] EL: Spirit’s very special, very-very-very special, and she takes people by surprise because people don’t think of turkeys a cuddly but in all three states, we have these remarkable cuddle turkeys who are all female and they will literally, just like you said, they will look in your eyes, they will just stand in such a humble, sweet way in front of you, they’ll put their wings out, and they will welcome you to cuddle them. And if you feel comfortably, you can sit on the ground in front of them, put one leg on either side of them, scooch up real close to their right here, kiss their little fuzzy pink heads, slide your hands under their wings, and stroke them and I’m sure she fell asleep in your lap, right? [0:07:34.6] BD: Yeah, it was pretty wonderful. [0:07:36.0] EL: Yeah, turkeys are remarkable. Male turkeys like to show off and be called handsome but female turkeys, once they feel safe, oh my God, they are such wonderful cuddlers, and I like to say that we have not lived life ‘till we’ve hugged cows or cuddled turkeys. [0:07:51.6] BD: Yes, cow hugs. Let’s talk about hugging cows. Wow, what is Cow Hug Therapy? [0:07:58.8] EL: So, Cow Hug Therapy is when hurting humans, no matter what they’re going through or what they’re feeling or what they’re struggling with, they can come to the gentle barn and book an hour-long Cow Hug Therapy session, where they get the cows to themselves for an entire hour, and they can either be gravitated to one particular cow and rest in their embrace or cry in their embrace for an entire hour. They can hug them all, they can ask us questions or they can just sit in the stillness and the quiet beside these gentle giants and find themselves. Cows, I think, all animals have so much for us but cows are very, very special in that they weigh 3,000 pounds. So, you don’t really ask them or train them, or teach them to do anything. It’s who they are organically. From the time that they have forgiven and let their past go and decided to trust humans, they incorporate us in their family. And they are so nurturing and gentle and kind to each other that when they incorporate us, they just extol the same beautiful energy, the beautiful healing, the embraces that they do for each other to us, and so when we’re infants, we can rest against our caregiver’s chest and hear their heartbeat, which slows down our own, rise and fall with their breathing, and eventually, our breathing can match theirs, and we feel tiny, small and vulnerable in a huge protective embrace. When we grow up, there’s really nothing that models that, except for Cow Hug Therapy. We are full-fledged adults, but we can go and we can feel like infants against these cows and hear their heartbeat and rise and fall with their breathing, and they wrap their necks around us and hold us. We can feel the energy of their love and their nurturing, without uttering one single word, closing down our left brain and opening our right brain. It’s a connection, it’s an energy and it’s a nurturing, that feels like we’re safe, that we’re whole, that we’re loved, that we’re not alone and we leave those embraces feeling healed and hopeful, in a way that I really can’t articulate with enough words. I just – people have to try it. When you come and you embrace these beautiful cows, and they rather embrace you, it’s a special brand of healing that’s unlike any other and you leave changed, and when I’m having a bad day, I’m really lucky to live at The Gentle Barn California location. [0:10:26.2] BD: Yeah. [0:10:26.9] EL: When I’m having a bad day, I go straight to the cows and they make everything better. They clear our minds of thought, they immerse us in present time, we feel grounded and centered and loved, and it’s just remarkable. [0:10:40.3] BD: How did you begin doing Cow Hug Therapy? Like, how did you coin the term and how did you get into this practice and like, writing this book, you know, bringing this to a broader audience? What’s the story behind that? [0:10:56.0] EL: Well, I was the very first recipient of Cow Hug Therapy. Back in 1999, we got our first cow, Buddha, and she was adorable and she was a fuzzy, red, and white cow and long white eyelashes and she was absolutely adorable, and we all fell instantly in love with her but very early on, I was doing my bedtime checks, just making sure that everybody was okay before I went to bed, and I pass by Buddha and kind of looked, kiss at her. You know, pat her on the head to say goodnight, and there was something about the way that she looked at me and she was like, “No-no-no, you need to stay a while.” So, I said, “Oh, okay.” So, I sat down beside her and I leaned against her just to kind of – for that camaraderie, and she wrapped her neck around me and held me, and I burst into tears because I didn’t realize how stoic I had been that day, and how much stress I was carrying on my shoulders. But I was also so incredibly touched by that unexpected show of affection. Animals have loved me my entire lives, they’ve saved my life when I was seven. I mean, I can’t say enough good things about animals, but I’ve never had an animal reach out and hug me for me. Like, she saw how much stress I was carrying, she saw how much I had done that day, and she was literally giving me a mom hug, and it changed my life. And I came to need those hugs every single solitary day and it wasn’t long before I realized there were other people in the world that needed those hugs too, and so I opened the phone book and I started calling around to drug and alcohol rehab centers, domestic violence shelters, war veteran centers, homeless shelters, really any agency that catered to hurting humans, and said, “You’ve got to bring your residents, you’ve got to bring your clients.” And they did. And we always started off by bringing the group to Buddha and everyone hugged Buddha, and she did the same thing. She either held still to kind of invite them to ground and center or she wrapped her neck around them and held them and she brought people to tears. She cracked the most offensive, the most cold, the most hardened people because of their stories and their life experiences. When they came in tough as nails, hardened, and cold and tough, she would crack them wide open and just expose them into vulnerable humble people. She changed so many lives and in her lifetime, she gave out 300,000 hugs. So, we’ve been doing Cow Hug Therapy for hurting humans since the day she hugged me 25 years ago but when we reopened after the pandemic, we realized that it wasn’t just hurting humans at facilities that needed this healing. It was all of us individuals, we were all affected, we are all impacted, we are all lonely or scared or stressed, or whatever we were doing and so, when we reopened from the pandemic instead of just working, I mean, everyone that came to The Gentle Barn, whether it be a private tour, field trip, or open to the public Sunday, obviously hugged Buddha, and all our subsequent cows but after the pandemic with the entire world hurting as individuals, we allowed anyone on their own by themselves to come out and experience Cow Hug Therapy. [0:13:57.9] BD: What can cows uniquely teach us? [0:14:00.7] EL: So, like I said, all animals are wonderful, all animals have something to teach us, and ways to heal us but there is something very unique about cows and I happen to believe that cows are literally who we should be when we awaken to love as a nation, as a people, there’s a lot of different animals and they’re all amazing, but I wouldn’t say, “Oh, people should be more like dogs” or “People should be more like horses.” But I am going to say us, as human beings, we need to be like cows. They are matriarchal led by the oldest and wisest female who uses her intuition, her sense of collaboration, and communication to really connect with her family and lead them to safety and care for them. They are vegan, so they harm no one. They are environmentally friendly, leaving a pasture better off when they leave than when they found it. They face their challenges head-on, they don’t run, they don’t fight, they just very peacefully lower their heads, look their challenge in the eye, and try to figure out how to work their way around it. Family is their most treasured and valued ethic. They would do anything for each other, they come together as a circle when someone gives birth. They come together in a circle when someone is passing away to pay their respects. They come together in a circle when someone is grieving. That community, that circle, the way they support one another is unlike any other species that I know, and they are a hundred percent inclusive. All the other animal species, their instinct when a newcomer comes in is to reject that newcomer and even drive them off violently. Cows are the only species that we have at The Gentle Barn that I can take a new cow anywhere any day, put them in the middle of the pasture, and the cows will say, “Oh, hello.” And the matriarch will say, “I’m the boss.” And then the newcomer will say, “Okay.” And then the youngsters will come and say, “Hey, you want to play?” And the newcomer will say, “Okay.” It is a totally peaceful transition with no introduction necessary. They are a hundred percent inclusive. They’ll avail of themselves to each other, they are there for each other, they are wise, they are intuitive, they trust their instincts, they practice self-care. They meditate every single day and they connect with one another every single morning after breakfast. It’s who we’re supposed to be and if you look back hundreds of years ago, we were more like that. We were matriarchal with the shaman and the medicine women leading tribes. We lived off of plant medicine and of the earth. We supported each other, we came together as community, we had ritual for birth and death. We were much more like cows then and we need to return to that now. [0:16:38.7] BD: I’d be curious what you would suggest to someone that maybe isn’t close to a Gentle Barn location but wants to learn more, wants to get involved, wants to be a better human, and learn more about animals in general, like what would you suggest their first steps be? [0:16:54.2] EL: Oh, I have so much to say about that. I mean, first of all, find a sanctuary near you and try to find a way to connect these majestic miraculous animals who have so much to teach us. Follow The Gentle Barn on all social media platforms, including YouTube, we have videos on YouTube of certain rescues and certain rehabilitations that will change your life just by watching them. And I would recommend that we all kind of try on or consider the idea that even though our Western society has put animals into certain boxes, here’s a box of animals we love, and here’s a box of animals that we eat, and here’s a box of animals that we wear, and here’s a box of animals that it’s totally okay to kill them. We’ve got all boxes and things for but the truth is that we’re all the same, though we come in different forms. And we all are the same and there is a way to connect, where we can really see the gifts, the talents, and the blessings that each of us are without seeing the separation, and when we look through that lens of love, oh my God, we grow, we evolve, we fall in love, we learn, and we become better for it. [0:18:06.5] BD: And I love the way in the book you describe the work that the cows are doing as really paying it forward when humans come in to see them, like alchemizing their pain into being of service to tend to humans and their pain. How can we as humans be of service to animals and pay it forward to them? [0:18:25.2] EL: I love that question. I think that the biggest most impactful, most powerful way that we can be of service to them and pay it forward to them is to go vegan. When we go vegan, we save 200 animals every single year, we save 1,100 gallons of water a day, which will end the drought. We save an acre of trees every year, which will combat deforestation, and we reduce our own risk of every western disease by 90%. So, I mean, it’s so impactful and powerful when someone makes that step. That’s the biggest way we can honor every living being on this planet and the planet itself, not to mention our own bodies. Volunteering at a sanctuary to help out is always a great idea, or to shelter, and if you can’t volunteer, then donate to a place like The Gentle Barn, where you're sponsoring an animal or enabling The Gentle Barn to save more animals, that literally are out there begging for help and having nowhere else to go. I think those are the top three, just doing those top three things. You know, a lot of people come to me and say, “Oh my God, it’s so amazing what you’re doing, I wish I could have my farm animal sanctuary, I wish I could start a sanctuary.” But you know, I live in an apartment and I have kids or I work and you know, it’s not possible, and I say to them, “Look, the people that actually do have the space, the time, and the wherewithal to start a sanctuary, great.” I mean, it’s great that I do this. I’m grateful every single day but if every one of us started a sanctuary, we’d all go under. It takes the people that are rolling up their sleeves in the trenches and then it takes the people that support them, it takes the people that volunteer with them. It takes the people that fund them, it takes the people that follow them. So, we would be nothing without the people around us that donate or volunteer or work here and lift us up that way. [0:20:08.5] BD: What do you hope that your life’s work with animals can teach those in future generations to come? Like, what impact imprint do you hope that The Gentle Barn and your life’s work will have on the future? [0:20:21.0] EL: The truth is that we are covering the earth up in cement. We are building buildings and cutting down trees and we’re removing animals from our neighborhoods, and so whereas hundreds of years ago, everyone pretty much lived on a farm or in nature. Most of us now don’t. We live in cities and we are estranged from animals and from nature, and future generations that don’t have that connection to nature and animals they’re going to continue destroying it, and we’re going to end up in real trouble. We have to maintain those connections, we have to create future generations that love animals, and that want to protect nature. We’re not going to have a planet if we continue destroying it. We will only have this home to live in if we continue protecting it and we can only protect her in future generations if those future generations are connected to animals and so, that’s why I started The Gentle Barn and why we keep going because it offers a space where the biggest city person can come and can be reminded who these animals are. Can find a connection with these animals and common language, and bring back to the city, the love and reverence for animals in nature and we need future generations to be able to advocate for this planet and for all her creatures, and we’re only going to do that if these future generations have a connection to these animals, and I’m really hoping that by visiting The Gentle Barn, hugging cows, cuddling turkeys, holding chickens, giving pigs tummy rubs, patting goats and sheep. Hearing these remarkable stories of resilience and creating those connections will once and for all, allow us as humanity to realize that we really are truly all the same and so, stop being so divisive, stop being so ostracizing, and start being more inclusive, more loving, more supportive, more collaborative. Let’s protect one another, let’s defend one another, let’s be each other’s voice, and let’s lift each other up so we can all thrive and we can all live, and we can all have that sense of well-being that we all deserve. [0:22:27.3] BD: Ellie, thank you so much for coming on the show. This conversation means so much to me and I love every ounce of knowledge that you have to share. [0:22:36.3] EL: Well, thank you so much for having me, I already feel so sad that our conversation has come to an end and I hope you all have me back sometime soon so we can connect again. [0:22:45.1] BD: Please, please. [END OF INTERVIEW] [0:22:47.7] PF: That was Brittany Darrenbacher, talking with Ellie Laks, about Cow Hug Therapy. If you’d like to learn more about The Gentle Barn, check out Ellie’s book, Cow Hug Therapy, or follow her on social media, just visit our website at LiveHappy.com and click on this podcast tab, and of course, Brittany will be back here next month to talk more about how animals bring us joy, help us heal, and can be some of our best teachers. So, until then, for everyone at Live Happy, this is Paula Felps, reminding you to make every day a happy one. [END]

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Prioritizing Play With Jeff Harry

Summer is a recess for all of us, but what if you could prioritize play all year long? This week, host Paula Felps talks with Jeff Harry, who uses a combination of positive psychology and play to foster healing and help individuals overcome their biggest challenges. Learn why we all need to embrace the power of play and how to create your personal play practice. In this episode, you'll learn: How to discover your “play values.” The power of having a “play partner.” How adding play to your life can improve your productivity and well-being. Visit Jeff’s website here. Follow along with the transcript by clicking here. Follow Talia on Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeffharryplays/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/jchuche/featured LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-harry-6991a94 X: https://x.com/jeffharryplays TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jeffharryplays Don't Miss a Minute of Happiness! If you’re not subscribed to the weekly Live Happy newsletter, you’re missing out! Sign up to discover new articles and research on happiness, the latest podcast, special offers from sponsors, and even a happy song of the week. Subscribe for free today! Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:

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Transcript – The Healing Power of Hugging Cows With Ellie Laks

Prioritizing Play With Jeff Harry

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