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Embracing Slowness With Jeff Bethke

If you feel like the world is moving a whole lot faster these days, you’re not alone. We’re consuming information at an unprecedented rate and living in an “always on” world. It’s no secret that this high-tech world is taking a toll on our health, our relationships and our overall well-being. Today’s guest, Jeff Bethke, looks at how this fast pace is zapping our sense of purpose and meaning. His new book, To Hell With the Hustle: Reclaiming Your Life in an Overworked, Overspent and Overconnected World, looks at how we can shift our focus from our online world to our inward life and find greater purpose and meaning. In this episode, you'll learn: How too much time online affects your sense of purpose. Why saying “no” is so powerful. How a Tech Manifesto can help you control your time online. Links and Resources Download the first chapter of his book for free! Twitter: @jeffersonbethke Instagram: @jeffersonbethke YouTube: Jefferson Bethke Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:

work

Preventing Workplace Negativity Could Save Billions

Having a toxic culture in the workplace can lead to a number of serious problems including employee burnout, dissatisfaction and absenteeism, all amounting to a significant loss in capital, according to a new report commissioned by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM). The recently released 2019 SHRM Omnibus Survey found that bad workplace culture cost American businesses billions of dollars over the past five years due to turnover. SHRM President and CEO Johnny C. Taylor, Jr., SHRM-SCP states in a release: “Billions of wasted dollars. Millions of miserable people. It’s not a warzone—it’s the state of the American workplace. Toxicity itself isn’t new. But now that we know the high costs and how managers can make workplaces better, there’s no excuse for inaction.” One out of five workers reported leaving a job because of poor workplace culture and almost 60 percent said their people managers were the main reason. The report also states that when employees feel like they have less autonomy, poor communication and they are not being heard, dissatisfaction sets in. Shola Richards, best-selling author of Making Work Work: The Positivity Solution for Any Work Environment, frequently speaks to businesses about the dangers of toxic workplace culture as well as workplace bullying. He says on top of the billions of dollars lost to these issues, the lives of employees are being damaged. “Employees who are forced to spend 40+ hours a week in a toxic environment pay an enormous price with their mental, emotional and physical health with life-diminishing outcomes ranging from PTSD to suicide,” Shola says. Toxic environments can add more stress and exhaustion, affecting the health and well-being of employees. This continued trend of bad culture can seep outside of the workplace having a negative impact on life beyond the job. Three out of 10 respondents already claim that workplace toxicity carries over into the home. “It is safe to say that any organization who is not consciously paying attention to this issue is actively making the world a worse place for all of us,” Shola says. Lead by Example More than three-quarters of employees agree that managers should be the people who set the workplace culture. A recent Gallup survey on disengaged employees found a 15 percent greater likelihood that an employee will thrive if their direct report is thriving too. “As a leader, your team is always watching you,” Shola says. “They’re observing how you handle someone who disagrees with you, they’re watching to see how (or if) you recognize someone for a job well done, they’re waiting to see how you respond when you’re up against a critical deadline and the stress is palpable.” He says leaders set the tone and if a bad tone is set, people will follow down the negative path and the toxicity spreads. But, he points out, examples can work both ways. “That’s why it is critical for leaders to set a positive, collaborative tone so that the culture has a greater chance of thriving.” Play the Right Way Having a positive workplace culture can be the X-factor that makes a business thrive. Employees who are happy and engaged are healthier, more productive and miss less work, according to Gallup. This is not only good for employees, but happy workers increase profits, too. Here are a few suggestions Shola has for employers to prevent a toxic workplace culture: “Listen to the employees, seek out their opinions and feedback, and take their concerns seriously.” “Have systems and policies in place—like an anti-bullying policy—to protect employees from toxic and abusive behavior (most importantly, these safeguards must be consistently enforced).” “Most importantly, be a model of civility and encourage (and reward) it in others.” Shola believes that employees can also play an active role in the company culture by not contributing to toxic behavior or being passive to the toxicity. “The most effective way for an individual to positively transform the culture is to be the change that you want to see in the world, as Gandhi once said,” Sholas says. “Equally as important is recruiting as many people as possible who are willing to do the same. This is how all meaningful change and world-altering movements are created, and I believe that this formula can also be effective in transforming workplace cultures.” For more on this topic, check out our podcast Overcoming Workplace Bullying With Dr. Britt Andreatta.

Podcast

The Importance of Self-Forgiveness With Stacy Kaiser

If you’ve ever struggled with forgiving someone, or forgiving yourself, you don’t want to miss what this week’s guest has to say abut it. Stacy Kaiser, a licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, author and frequent Live Happy Now guest, has great insight on how forgiveness and self-forgiveness affect our overall well-being. But she doesn’t just tell us how much we need it in our lives; she gives us actionable advice for forgiving others, forgiving ourselves and discovering greater happiness. In this episode, you'll learn: Why forgiveness is essential to your overall well-being. What forgiveness really means. Steps you can take to forgive others as well as yourself. Links and Resources Facebook: @stacykaiser Twitter: @thestacykaiser Instagram: @thestacykaiser Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:

A group of people working together to complete a goal

#HappyActs

Resilience Clears the Path to a Meaningful Life.

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! On the 20th of each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more people who join the #HappyActs movement, the greater the positive impact we’ll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! September’s Happy Act theme is resilience. The ability to persevere and reach your goals no matter what obstacles stand in your way is attributed to your resilience. Like many strengths, resilience builds like a muscle for the times when you need it the most. People who are resilient tend to find more positive outcomes in life, see hope in dire situations, view adversities as challenges to overcome and are more likely to help others achieve their goals. September’s Happy Act is to strengthen your resilience by being supportive. If you are a resilient person, then odds are that you have overcome adversity in your life and have developed the coping skills to get you through those hard times. According Dr. Morley Glicken’s book Learning From Resilient People, using your skills to help other people through their time of need not only eases their stress, but strengthens your social bonds with the people you are helping. This adds meaning to your life and increases your happiness. Think about someone in your life that can use your support and write out an action plan with steps on how to accomplish that goal. Leave some room to write down how you feel after completing this task. Our September Happy Activist is champion boxer and mental health advocate Mia St. John. Mia has endured serious tragedies in her life. In 2014, her son Julian, a long-time sufferer of mental illness, fell victim to suicide. Earlier this year, her ex-husband and father to Julian, Kristoff St. John passed away. Soon after, she lost 30 years of sobriety. “There was a point where I thought that I would not recover and I was at my lowest low,” she explains. “There was nowhere to go, I felt, but up. That's my personality.” She says when she finds herself having to make the choice of hope over despair, she has no choice but to keep up the good fight. “I never stop fighting my way through the storm.” Now, Mia is making it her mission to help parents, educators, friends and spouses identify the signs of mental illness so loved ones can get the help they need. She created the Mia St. John Foundation to help empower people suffering from mental illness, addiction, poverty and homelessness. Because of her advocacy and dedication, she is giving people an opportunity to overcome adversity and restore self-worth. “All of us have suffered in our lives," Mia says. "Change comes always and nothing stays the same—not the good or the bad. By overcoming our obstacles, we evolve as humans.” For more information on resilience, check out the links below: When Resilience Meets Agility The Bounce-Back Effect Building Resilience and Well-Being With Karen Reivich 5 Essential Factors for Raising Resilient Kids Time to up your #HappyActs game. Help us spread global happiness by becoming a Happy Activist and host your very own Happiness Wall. Learn how you can host a wall at your school, business or organization and find out how to create your own fantastic wall using one of our Happy Acts Wall Kits.

Young couple hiking trough forest and watching birds

Self-Care

The Joy of Watching Birds

One of the fastest-growing hobbies in America is bird watching, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. With the fall migration in full flight, this low-impact activity provides many opportunities to increase well-being. These benefits can include opportunities for discovery and achievement, the promise of new positive relationships and engagement in something meaningful. Researchers at Cornell University say that birdwatchers are five times more likely than non-recreationists to engage in environmental conservation efforts, and adventure traveling can be an economic boon for popular birding areas. Sharon Stiteler, author of the book 1001 Secrets Every Birder Should Know and an avid bird enthusiast, says that bird watching (or birding) takes a minimal monetary investment. All you really need is a good pair of binoculars and the knowledge of what birds might be passing through your area. “It’s easy to do, and you can find fantastic birds in your backyard,” Sharon says. “People think that if you are in an urban area, you may not have the variety…. More birds are adapting to our urban environment.” Sharon says it’s also a good idea to join a local bird watching group and keep up with events and the best viewing locations through social media. “I have a friend in just about every state and every country,” Sharon says. “No matter where you go, you’ll never meet dull people while bird watching.” For hot spots this fall, Sharon suggests anywhere along the Mississippi River, since it is a major migratory corridor; Cape May in New Jersey; and the Rio Grande Valley in Texas. “Another really fantastic place in the fall is Corpus Christi, Texas,” she says. “There is a huge raptor migration that happens there. You can see 100,000 birds of prey migrate over that spot.” For Sharon, the best part about bird watching is that no matter where she goes, she can enjoy an activity that gives her pleasure and adds meaning to her life. “Whether it’s a big city like New York or out in the middle of nowhere in Utah, there is always something there for me to find,” she says. “Especially if there are birds I haven’t seen before. It’s kind of like a treasure hunt.” Field Guide 1. Tundra Swans migrate in large flocks, making their way down both East and West coasts. Before embarking on their 1,000-mile flight for the winter, these monogamous love birds can be found in the Devils Lake area of North Dakota in September and along the Mississippi River in Minnesota in October. 2. The Common Redpoll is a small, socially active finch with a red cap and a yellow, pointed bill that lives in northern Canada. During migration, they travel in flocks of several hundred to several thousand and visit backyard feeders in the northern border states, including Maine, Michigan and North Dakota. 3. The Northern Goshawk is a large raptor that prefers dense forests in North America, Europe and Asia. Don’t get too close; the goshawk is a fierce defender of its nest. In the fall, birders can find them in the Rocky Mountains, the Great Lakes and along the Appalachian Mountains. 4. Green Jays can be found in the tropical areas of Mexico and South America. The South Texas Green Jays will hang around the Mexican border and prefer open spaces. This noisy bunch doesn’t travel much but can be seen as far north as San Antonio. 5. Northern Flickers are part of the woodpecker family and forage on the ground for food. They usually migrate at night and have been spotted in places like New Jersey, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania in late September before making their way to the Gulf States for the winter. 6. White-crowned Sparrows migrate from the deep north and spend their winters vacationing in the states. The Alaskan White-crowned Sparrow has been known to migrate more than 2,000 miles. These elegant creatures rarely travel in parties of eight or more. 7. Dark-eyed Juncos are part of the sparrow family and are often referred to as “snowbirds.” They are one of the most common birds in North America, and more than 600 million of them can be found at backyard feeders across the country during migration and in the winter. (Source: Kevin J. McGowan, Ph.D., Project Manager, Distance Learning in Bird Biology, Cornell Lab of Ornithology/The Birds of North America)

Podcast

The Power of Unplugging With Tiffany Shlain

Tiffany Shlain founded Character Day in 2013 as a way to recognize and celebrate the importance of character strengths. This year, she’s combining the celebration of Character Day on September 27-28 with the release of her new book, 24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week. For Character Day, she is encouraging everyone to take the day off from their screens, following the Jewish tradition of Shabbat and using it to find more time, connection and well-being. In this episode, you'll learn: How to get your family to participate in a weekly Tech Shabbat. Why taking a break from technology improves your well-being. How to implement your Tech Shabbat as part of Character Day. Links and Resources Website: letitripple.org Facebook: @tiffanyshlain Twitter: @tiffanyshlain Instagram: @letitripplefilm Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:

science

Can Schools Teach Happiness?

If you ask any parent what they most want for their children growing up, chances are they’ll answer something like, “I want them to be happy.” Which parent wouldn’t want that? So, if this is the aspiration that most parents want for their children, shouldn’t teaching children how to lead well-rounded and happy lives be a big focus for schools, too? I believe there are many reasons why the emotional well-being of our children should be central to a good education. Curbing a Mental Health Crisis The most recent evidence certainly points towards there being a mental health crisis amongst our young people. According to research shared by the mental health charity Young Minds: 1 in 10 children have a diagnosable mental health disorder. Half of all mental ill health manifests by the age of 14 and 75% by the age of 18. These statistics don’t have to be the inevitable future of our young people. Schools can put programs in place and create cultures where the emotional well-being of students and staff is placed at the center of their communities. A Path to Future Happiness A key reason why we should be investing more in our children’s wellbeing is because it is the strongest predictor of their future happiness. In his book, The Origins of Happiness, Professor Richard Layard and his colleagues have drawn from an extensive range of longitudinal data from across the globe to establish the key factors that affect human wellbeing. Richard’s team wanted to be able to answer the question, ‘In childhood, what best predicts happiness in later life?’ They concluded that, ‘If we go back to childhood…the best predictor of an enjoyable adult life…is the child’s emotional health, which…is significantly more important than all the qualifications the person ever obtains.’ It appears that investing in our children’s well-being pays dividends for the future! Schools and Teachers Make a Difference It may sound obvious that happy children grow up to be happy adults. What can anyone other than parents do about that? Well, it turns out quite a lot. In Richard’s book, his team dug down into the data and traced which schools and even which teachers some of the respondents had in childhood, along with their academic attainment. The book found that, ‘primary school teachers have more impact on the emotional health of the children than on the children’s performance in maths.’ The chapter on schooling ends with the encouraging conclusion, ‘Primary and secondary schools have major effects on the emotional well-being of their children.’ It shows that schools and teachers are crucial to developing and nurturing children’s well-being. We play a crucial role in raising healthy and happy children. A Case of Teaching Happiness Positive psychologist, Alejandro Adler, Ph.D., from the University of Pennsylvania, researched teaching a well-being curriculum to more than 700,000 students in Bhutan, Mexico and Peru. In all three studies, students in the intervention schools reported significantly higher well-being and they performed significantly better on standardized national exams at the end of a 15-month intervention. This suggests that schools can teach happiness and that, in doing so, students learn better. Schools must prioritize the happiness and well-being of their students and staff. This means having well-being on the curriculum, it means making positive relationships a key facet of children’s education, it means making physical exercise a core part of the daily routines, it means having structures and resources in place (like counseling services) for students that need extra support. Whether you believe the focus of schools should be teaching knowledge, or teaching happiness, when schools place well-being at the center of their curriculum, everyone wins.

#HappyActs

Changing the Future With Positive Education

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! On the 20th of each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more people who join the #HappyActs movement, the greater the positive impact we’ll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! August’s Happy Act theme is positive education. Psychologist and founding member of positive psychology Martin Seligman, Ph.D., defines positive education as “the intersection of traditional education with the building of well-being.” The goal of positive education is help young people find and develop their character strengths so they can thrive in life. Research shows that students who participated in programs that taught both academic and social and emotional health, had a 10% improvement in grades and well-being as well as a buffer against anger, anxiety and depression. August’s Happy Act is to lead by example by developing your own character strengths while teaching young people about the character strengths they need to flourish, such as kindness, forgiveness, leadership and perseverance. By providing tools to improving social and emotional health, they have the ability to improve their well-being and live a happier life. Psychologist and bestselling author Lea Waters, Ph.D. spoke at the 2018 Festival of Positive Education in Fort Worth, Texas and said, “parenting is a really important piece of the positive education puzzle.” Check out the VIA Institute on Character to find out more about character strengths and how you can apply them to your life as well as those around you. Our August Happy Activist is elementary school teacher Lucie Buissereth-Lindner in Stockholm, Sweden. She says she tries to make the world a happier place by making small impactful changes in her students’ lives every day. “Teaching kids the importance of a relentless work ethic, authenticity and self-belief is the way I give back in hopes to create an army of leaders and a legacy of excellence!” she says. Lucie and her students are working toward competing in the World Inter-School Rope Skipping Championship 2019 in Belgium. “Not only will they test their strengths, and power, but also build self-confidence, make new friends, and broaden their horizons!” Their team is called 'The HusbyGårds Hopprep Starzzz ' which translates to “Super Enthusiastic, Hard-working, Talented Girls and Boys of Sweden!” For more information on positive education, check out the links below: Character and Well-Being 4 Ideas Shaping the Future of Education The Importance of Positive Education The Power of Character Strengths With Ryan Niemiec Time to up your #HappyActs game. Help us spread global happiness by becoming a Happy Activist and host your very own Happiness Wall. Learn how you can host a wall at your school, business or organization and find out how to create your own fantastic wall using one of our Happy Acts Wall Kits.

Happy Smiling Young People Hugging, Showing Heart Shape With Hands And Enjoying Each Other Outdoors.

relationships

Healthy Relationships Make Us Happy

How much do you value your close relationships? Do you fear your partner will reject you? Are you afraid to commit? How you answer these questions can give you valuable insights into yourself and the people closest to you. Relationship Check-in Research shows you can create distance in an intimate relationship two ways: anxiety and avoidance. Too much attachment-related anxiety, and you may worry your partner doesn’t feel the same way about you or that he or she may leave. Too much attachment-related avoidance, and you may fail to make a commitment and drive people away. When you take the Close Relationships Questionnaire, you can measure your level of attachment. Being happy in our relationships is crucial to our subjective well-being and knowing where you are will show you where to go. Thank You, My Love A study from the University of Georgia found that couples who express gratitude for one another regularly often have healthier, happier relationships. Furthermore, gratitude has a counter effect when a couple is engaged in conflict, such as when they’re undergoing financial stress. Gratitude protects the quality of the marriage, leading to fewer thoughts about divorce. Feeling appreciated and valued puts the same kind of protective coating on the relationship. Allen Barton, Ph.D., postdoctoral research associate at UGA’s Center for Family Research, says a good way for couples to make sure they are expressing enough gratitude is to ask each other, “Do you feel valued and appreciated, and if not what can I do to change that?” It's the Little Things We’ve compiled some of our favorite ideas to strengthen and cultivate healthy, happy relationships in almost every aspect of our lives. Journal with your spouse. Find a journal—anything will do, including a basic spiral notebook—and take a few minutes to write to each other. Remind your spouse why you love him or her, whether it’s generosity toward those in need or an unfailing ability to make you smile. Most of all, keep your writing positive and focused on each other. Send a greeting card. Sending a text message or email is a quick, easy way to say hello to a friend or relative, but sending a physical greeting card shows thought, effort and love. Plus, your recipient can post your card on his or her refrigerator or desk as a daily reminder of you and your relationship. Collect ticket stubs. Remember when you enjoyed the evening under the stars and listened to your favorite band play? Or when you saw that awful movie together? Keep the ticket stubs from wherever your life as a couple takes you, collect them in a glass jar and place it visibly in your home. When you add new tickets to your collection, take a couple of minutes to reminisce about the fun you’ve had together. Plan the ultimate family fun day. Mark it on your calendars. Treat it as seriously as you would a work meeting or soccer practice and escape the commotion of life for a day of family fun. Get the entire family involved in the planning—surprise the kids with a short day trip; attend a local festival; or maybe even spend the day at home baking, watching movies or building a fort. Your family fun day doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg; it’s more about the entire family spending time together. Advice from the Experts How can we communicate more effectively with our loved ones? “For more than four decades I have been privileged to share the five love languages with people around the world. Understanding this concept gives individuals the information needed to effectively express love. By nature, we do for our loved ones what we wish they would do for us. We assume they feel loved. When they eventually say to us, ‘I feel like you don’t love me,’ we are surprised. The problem was not our sincerity. The problem was we were not speaking their love language.”—Gary D. Chapman, Ph.D., author of The 5 Love Languages series What are some of the relationship-building benefits of the family dinner? “In today’s fast-paced, technology-steeped culture, having family dinner is the most doable way to hang out together; there are few other settings where the family gathers. …Family dinner provides a way to connect...a time to unwind, to check in, to laugh together, to tell stories. These benefits don’t depend on you making a gourmet meal, using organic ingredients or cooking from scratch. Food brings the family to the table, but it is the conversation and the connection that keeps the family at the table and provides the emotional benefits.”—Anne Fishel, Ph.D., author of Home for Dinner: Mixing Food, Fun, and Conversation for a Happier Family and Healthier Kids What is the single most important thing we can do to improve our relationships with our children? “Our relationships with our children improve the most when we work on our relationships with ourselves. When we find ways to be happy and calm and present, we are warmer and more responsive to our children, better listeners—and more consistent disciplinarians.”—Christine Carter, Ph.D., author of The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work How can we create long-lasting, happy relationships? “Relationships thrive when there is an investment in an emotional piggy bank. Without a balance of positive feelings for each other, there is little to draw on during difficult times. The best way of allowing these positive feelings for each other to grow is to not deplete them. If you can have fewer negative emotions and reactions with each other in the first place, it can help preserve your positive resources.”—Daniel Tomasulo, Ph.D., MFA, MAPP, author of Confessions of a Former Child: A Therapist’s Memoir

Podcast

Hacking Your Brain for Happiness With Patrick Porter, Ph.D.

While we don’t think much about them, our brainwaves are always busy—and they play a huge role in our well-being. When brainwaves get out of balance, it affects our sleep, our health and our relationships. Patrick Porter, Ph.D., joins us this week to talk about how brainwaves influence our happiness and tells us some of the ways we can help keep them balanced. In this episode, you'll learn: How connecting with nature (grounding) can help you find balance. What lack of sleep does to our brainwaves. What biohacking is and how you can use it for your own well-being. Links and Resources Download BrainTap for free Facebook: @braintaptech Twitter: @BrainTapTech Instagram: @braintaptech Discover 5 happiness hacks to help balance your brainwaves here. Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:

Embracing Slowness With Jeff Bethke

Preventing Workplace Negativity Could Save Billions

The Importance of Self-Forgiveness With Stacy Kaiser

Resilience Clears the Path to a Meaningful Life.

The Joy of Watching Birds

The Power of Unplugging With Tiffany Shlain

Can Schools Teach Happiness?

Changing the Future With Positive Education

Healthy Relationships Make Us Happy

Hacking Your Brain for Happiness With Patrick Porter, Ph.D.

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