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Fun people gather for happiness festival
Education

World Happiness Fest: Summit Promises Inspiration, Relaxation

Luis Gallardo, an author and entrepreneur, created the organization bé and the World Happiness Fest to help build a community of more than 1 billion happy people within 10 years. On March 16-18, Luis invites all happiness seekers to join him in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, for hands-on learning sessions, music and meaningful studies. Live Happy: What makes the World Happiness Festival stand out? Luis Gallardo: This festival focuses on creating an experiential learning community. Science, technology, music, art, gastronomy, intention, reflection and movement are all ingredients of a unique experience with happiness and well-being at its heart. All the senses will be activated with experiences that range from heart coherence to positive education, from mindful eating to the impact of music and frequencies on our emotions. How did you choose San Miguel de Allende, Mexico as the location, and what will the city add to the event? San Miguel has been ranked as one of the best small cities in the world. It combines the roots and cultural heritage of ancient civilizations with a vibrant artistic community. We are creating the World Happiness Fest as a permanent retreat center called “The Happiness Academy,” where we’ll have monthly gatherings focused on experiencing the roots of happiness and well-being with the top masters in the world. Why is it important for happiness to be developed at all levels of society? Thomas Jefferson once said, “Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.”Individual happinesshas extensive benefits, including improving a person’s physical health, providing more motivation to accomplish goals, and increased determination and energy to achieve tasks throughout the day. However, when happy individuals unite, that group will produce robust results. Who are some of the highlighted speakers at the festival? Saamdu Chetri, Raj Raghunathan, Maureen Healy, Khedrup Rinpoche, Gaby Vargas plus more than 40 international guides and masters from more than 20 countries. What else would you like us to know about the event? Society moves at such a fast pace. We all have long to-do lists and the pressure to do more in less time. When we become so caught up in those moments, we don’t focus on our relationships, our well-being and our happiness. When we stop tocreate meaningful experiences, we allow ourselves time to relax, to build connections and to become our best selves. This is simply a vital step in the process to achieve full happiness. That’s what World Happiness Fest is about. After San Miguel de Allende we’ll keep building experiential communities around the world. In June, Spain; October, Colombia and Brazil; with Guatemala, France and the United States to follow. Go to happinessfestival.world for more information. Enter code LIVEHAPPY for a 20% discount on festival passes.
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Lonely No More
relationships

4 Ways to Beat Loneliness

In a world with more than 7 billion people, it’s hard to imagine that loneliness—a loss of connection from people and self—could be a problem. But new research indicates loneliness and social isolation may now be bigger health hazards than obesity or smoking, and the problem is likely to get worse. About 42.6 million U.S. adults over the age of 45 suffer from chronic loneliness, according to a 2010 AARP study. Jeremy Nobel, M.D., of the Harvard Medical School in the Department of Global Health and Social Medicine, points out that the problem isn’t about spending time alone, which can have mental health benefits. People can feel lonely in a crowd or even in a marriage. He defines loneliness as having a gap or a feeling that something is missing. It’s an “emotional connection that you desire that is not present to you,” Jeremy says. “And it turns out that discomfort is toxic at a neurophysiological level.” How did we get here? Jeremy believes increases in divisiveness and technological convenience are partially to blame. “One way I often describe it is that you might have 600 friends on Facebook,” Jeremy says, “but who is bringing you dinner if you are sick?” Keeping robust and meaningful social networks is crucial to maintaining health and happiness.” Lonely people are less likely to be involved in social events, have fewer friends and deep relationships and could even face an earlier death than their social counterparts. Jeremy says there is growing research that shows loneliness contributes to substance abuse, depression, anxiety, suicide, cancers and cardiovascular disease. Happy Connections, Happy Health Jude Marie Goudreau, a 50-year-old mother and grandmother from West Palm Beach, Florida, wasn’t going to let the fact that she was a single empty nester keep her from enjoying life. “I needed more people to interact with. I found myself home talking to the cat often and I realized that it was kind of a sad story,” she says. “I started a Meetup group hoping to meet people to do things with and to prevent other people from sitting at home talking to the cat.” Her Meetup group, Middle Age Fun, launched in August of 2017 and quickly grew to more than 80 members. She was shocked that so many people—ranging in age from 40 to 80—signed up for the group and said people seemed eager to mix and mingle. “So far, I have had the most success with coffee hours at Dunkin’ Donuts and brunches on Sunday mornings,” she says. “We have been doing card games and game nights, too.” Jude Marie says she believes an active mind is a healthy mind. She witnessed family members decline rapidly after retirement, an effect she attributes to inactivity. “If you are happy, then you are healthy and if you are healthy, you definitely live longer,” she says. “If you are home alone and don’t have any contact with other people, you feel rejected and sad.” Eric Kim, Ph.D., a research fellow in the Department of Social and Behavioral Sciences at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, says social connections can help you bounce back from life’s curveballs. His research shows that social cohesion, even at the neighborhood level, is linked to better health outcomes and behaviors, especially with older adults. Those contacts can share very useful information, such as recommending a great physician. “They help you in very practical ways,” he says. “If you just had surgery, they can bring in the mail or groceries and even provide emotional support.” Relationships can also have negative effects, he points out, but if we have positive connections, it can go a long way to improving quality of life. The study "Interpersonal Mechanisms Linking Close Relationships to Health” finds that close relationships are crucial to health and well-being, as well as longevity. Social connections help buffer stress, lower cortisol and reduce risk of illness. Being socially connected can also help in areas of personal growth including finding love and intimacy. Digital Doldrums It’s not just older people who can fall victim to social isolation. A recent survey commissioned by online messaging business solutions provider LivePerson discovered that nearly 70 percent of young people would prefer to communicate digitally. Another study from the Center for Research on Health Care at the University of Pittsburgh says that people who spend at least two hours a day on social media are twice as likely to show signs of social isolation than those who only spend 30 minutes a day. Possible emotional triggers of jealousy and exclusion can be spurred by continuously looking at the carefully staged lives of others. Jennifer L. Taitz, Psy.D., a board certified cognitive behavioral clinical psychologist and author of How to Be Single and Happy, says that spending more time online reduces actual face time with other people. “When we feel tired and it’s freezing outside, it’s certainly much less effortful to lie on the couch and swipe through social media to catch up on the latest news, both in the world and in your personal circles,” she says. “That said, keeping up with people in this passive way takes a toll on our sense of connection. To feel close, we need to put in time, energy and courage.” Here are a few tips to connect with the world around you. Caring for Others: Eric Kim, Ph.D., notes that volunteering is an excellent way for people like recent retirees to meet new people and stay active. “Volunteering can actually have many health benefits, because we are engaging in healthier behaviors,” he says. “MRI studies show cognitive decline at a much lower pace.” Touch Over Tech: Jennifer L. Taitz, Psy.D., recommends using technology as a tool to make plans to meet up rather than replacing socialization. “If there’s an activity you’d find meaningful regardless of whether or not you meet good people, like a book club or volunteer group, that may be a great place to find someone with similar interests.” Self-Care: Jeremy Nobel, M.D., says sharing your story through creative expression can help you connect with yourself and other people. You can use the creative arts to find your mission, purpose and meaning. “What we are very confident about is that creative expression allows people to find, shape and share a personal narrative…a story about who they are and what matters to them.” Reconnect: “If you want more close friends but don’t know where to find them, take a couple of minutes and consider people you may have lost touch with who you can reach out to, or activities you love where you can [meet] people who share your passions,” Jennifer says. Listen to our podcast with Jennifer L. Taitz, Psy.D. here:
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Man holding a pen
Flourishing Center

Mood on Handwriting

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Study proves that your mood can impact your handwriting. LifeHack—Learn how to use your emotions to embrace your creativity. Practitioner’s Corner—Dr. Cheryl Lanlier is a positive applied psychology based human performance technology expert. She helps people and the organizations they work for adopt and use technology in more efficient ways. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center
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Allison Janney
Lifestyle

Allison Janney Savors the Simple Things

Award-winning actress Allison Janney’s jam-packed days are spent commuting to the Burbank, California, set of the CBS hit comedy Mom, memorizing lines, racing to and from wardrobe fittings and delivering fast-paced humor and sarcasm as the joyful yet slightly cynical recovering alcoholic Bonnie Plunkett. Her role in Mom—now in its fifth season—has scored her two Emmy Award wins to add to her five victories from roles in The West Wing and Masters of Sex. The past year also marked Allison’s return to Broadway in the revival of John Guare’s Six Degrees of Separation, and her name has come up as an Oscar contender, and she won the Golden Globe Award for her gritty portrayal of LaVona Golden, the tough-as-nails mother of Olympic figure skater Tonya Harding in I, Tonya. “I’m like any other working adult. There’s a lot to juggle,” the Ohio-raised actress says in a thoughtful cadence that’s slower and softer than her Mom character’s rapid-fire volleys. Away from her diverse professional projects, Allison is a loving and devoted daughter, sister, aunt and friend. She makes sure her busy days begin and end on a positive note, walking her three Australian cattle dog mixes, Addie, Dutch and Sippie. “My dogs are my positivity role models. They really are,” Allison says. “I hug them and snuggle them and that instantly makes me happy.” Time spent walking them is “a nice time for meditation and checking in with the world and myself,” she says. “Dogs love us regardless of accolades, size of a paycheck or if you’re having a good hair day. All three are rescues, and I’m so grateful I adopted them. Animals are a game changer for our spirits and souls.” Hitting the Pause Button Despite being pulled in several directions at once, Allison exudes a calm that naturally encourages those around her to stop and catch their breath. A simple shift in her daily routine—having a friend help her organize her schedule—has made the demands of everyday life “much more manageable.” She’s also started deliberately slowing down with the help of meditation. Allison admits that a Zen state of mind and body wasn’t always part of her fabric. “I’m a control freak and a worrier who overthinks things,” she says. “I’m also a people pleaser by nature so I worry if I’ve been a good enough listener to a friend or been thoughtful and open enough in an interview.” Her penchant for pleasing didn’t leave much room to shine the same considerate light on herself, but she’s been working on that the last two years. “I made a commitment to be more aware of what makes me happy and to reflect on what I want to do. I was—and still am—focused on what I can do to make someone else happy, but I gave myself the gift of taking time to also listen to myself, honor my thoughts and wishes and not put myself by the side.” She explains further, “It’s not always comfortable to accept, but I’ve learned taking care of myself, and sometimes putting myself first, isn’t selfish. It will make me happier than ever before because I’ll be in a better place mentally, emotionally and physically.” Paired with multiple weekly Pilates sessions and workouts with a trainer, meditation is a key part of Allison’s daily schedule. Just sitting and breathing in a quiet place at home helps her let go of anything she’s overthinking or worrying about. “I don’t think I’m very good at it because it’s hard to clear your mind,” she says. “I don’t know that you can ever completely do that. But I feel so much better after I’ve meditated for 15 minutes.” There are also those days when finding even 15 minutes to meditate seems impossible. “You can always explain away not taking time out for yourself,” she says. “We all have so many rituals. There are responsibilities for others, family, pets and work. Who has time just for themselves?” Technology has been a powerful tool to help her adopt a calmer mindset. “I have lots of apps I use often,” she says. Some of her favorites include Buddhify, Insight Timer, Happify, Headspace and Simply Being. “I’m trying very hard to always be in the moment and, ironically, sometimes even my smartphone can help me do just that!” But social media is a different story. Allison said the steady stream of Facebook updates started to affect her personal outlook, so she hasn’t been checking it for almost a year. “I had to stop being voyeuristic because it was making me feel bad that I don’t have what others have—or appear to have. You never really know what’s going on in someone else’s life, but seeing the newsfeed of only what others want you to see, without seeing the whole picture, can be too much. Instead, I now focus on finding my own happiness and being happy with things that happen in my real life, not on social media.” That includes criticism and unpleasant exchanges. “I try to look at everything, even adversity, as a gift. Instead of worrying and ruminating, I’ll say ‘thank you’ to the world and look at what I can learn from the experience to grow and make myself better,” she explains. She also relies on loved ones. “The people who love me and believe in me are who I go to to remind me what’s good about me and what’s important and not important,” she shares. “My mom is great at helping me keep my head up to focus on what matters.” Embracing Flawed Characters Part of Allison’s unique recipe for simplifying her life includes tackling unconventional roles. Whether performing live, singing and dancing on Broadway, voicing animated characters in Finding Dory and Minions, or in her breakout television role on the hit political drama The West Wing, Allison says some of her favorite performances are those portraying characters that “are the most screwed up or that take me the furthest from my wheelhouse and comfort zone.” “In some ways, I find when I’m playing a character that is the least like me or that’s flawed and messed up, the more interesting and fun the job is. I think it’s harder to portray normal or well-defined.” Performing on Broadway has given Allison some of her scariest moments as an actor. “Being in the original Broadway cast of [the musical] 9 to 5in 2009 with ‘real’ Broadway singers was well outside my wheelhouse and scared me to death,” she says. “I was out of my league being on stage with Megan Hilty and Stephanie Block.” That fear propelled her to an acclaimed performance that earned her a 2009 Tony Award nomination for her role as Violet Newstead. Returning to Broadway in 2017 wasn’t easy, either. However, Allison once again rose to the occasion. “On Broadway, you perform at night and that’s when I’d come alive,” she says. “I realized right after the day’s performance ended was when I could stop and relax. I’d savor those moments.” Her most recent feature film, I, Tonya (released December 2017), also stretched Allison’s artistic muscle. Interestingly, Allison was a competitive figure skater into her teens until she nearly lost her leg crashing through a plate-glass window. Her life-threatening injuries ended her skating career. “I dreamed of being an Olympian, but in reality, my career would have ended anyway because I didn’t have the talent to achieve that level of greatness,” she says. However, when her longtime friend, screenwriter Steven Rogers, wrote the part of LaVona Golden, mother of disgraced Olympian Tonya Harding, with Allison in mind, her years spent on the ice helped her prepare for the role. “When I met Allison more than 30 years ago when we were both students, I saw that unbelievable and powerful emotion she brings to her performances,” Steven says. “But beyond her amazing talent, she’s a truly beautiful person who brings such generosity and a giving spirit to her friendships. You can’t help but love being around her.” “When [Steven] called and gave me a description of this mother in a half-molting fur coat with a bird on her shoulder, I couldn’t wait,” Allison explains. “Neither Steven nor I were able to speak with or see LaVona, so this is a character creation of Tonya’s version of her mother and our artistic license. “I approached the role much like I do the rest of my life these days, even though I worked with a live bird perched on my shoulder who from time to time was poking at my ear,” she says with a smile. “It’s outside of my personal norm and comfort, which helped make the role enormous fun. And at the end of the day, I’m so lucky to have a job that’s fun and allows me to grow as a person and actor. Now there’s something to think about!” Gina Roberts-Greyis an award-winning journalist who has written forFamily Circle,SelfandEssenceamong other publications. Her last feature story for Live Happy wasa profile of Anna Faris.
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Happy woman with gift
Practice

Be More Generous To Boost Your Happiness

Handing money to someone in need may put a smile on both the recipient’s face and your own. A new study from the University of Zurich reports finding a link between the brain regions activated by generosity and those involved in happiness. Researchers gave participants a weekly allowance, with one group planning to keep the money for themselves and the other committing to spend it on others. Then, fMRI imaging was used to study both groups’ brain activities. Participants who had pledged to use the stipend in a philanthropic manner behaved more generously than those who didn't, confirming that the act of giving or even the intent to give activates the brain in a way that makes you feel happier. Randall Wright, a neurologist at Mischer Neuroscience Associates in Texas, is thrilled with the findings. “We know that altruistic behavior can simply make us feel better, but now we are seeing this at a neurobiological level,” he explains, noting that the study is the first to deduce a scientific correlation between generosity and happiness. Jessica L. Cundiff, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychological science at Missouri University of Science and Technology, adds that you don’t have to empty your wallet to experience a boost; any amount will do. “In a 2008 study, people were given either $5 or $20 bills. Regardless of the amount, those who spent the money on others reported feeling happier,” she says. While the study highlights the effects of financial giving, there are additional ways to feel the warm glow of generosity. Randall suggests using your talents in a charitable manner. “If you are a great chef, preparing meals for the homeless will surely be a big hit for you and the ones receiving your meal,” he explains. Read more: 17 Ways to Give Back According to Your Strengths Listen to our podcast: The Giving Way to Happiness, With Jenny Santi Nicole Pajer is a freelance writer and reporter based in Los Angeles.
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Group of diverse people
Flourishing Center

Understanding Other People’s Behavior

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Explore the impact of technology on social well-being. LifeHack—Learn the simple strategy for brain matching. Practitioner’s Corner—Katrina Goff shares how transitioning from a dental clinic to a resilience coach and trainer changed her life. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center Read the interview from the Practitioner's Corner: Transcription provided by The Flourishing Center Emiliya: Hello everyone and welcome Katrina Goff to our positive psychology Practitioner Corner. Katrina is a Certified Resilience Trainer through The Flourishing Center. She helps people talk back to their thoughts, work with their emotions, and show up in the world the way they want to. She's joining us today from Ozark, Missouri. Something you might not know about Katrina is that she is a grandmother to 20 children. That's two-zero, 20 children. Her and her husband are blessed that between them they have eight children and 20 grandchildren. She is not only thriving in family but thriving in opportunities to share positive psychology with the world. We're so excited to have her here. Thank you Katrina. Katrina: Thank you Emiliya. It's a pleasure to be here today. Emiliya: Katrina, tell us what brought you to this work? Katrina: Oh my goodness. I was on a journey. I went back to school and I was working in a dental clinic. That's where most of my experience work wise has been. I was working with the military but also very passionate to me is helping people to have healthy, happy relationships. I thought that I was on a path to become a marriage and family therapist, but somewhere along the way all the work with the military and hearing my patients come in and share with me that they had PTSD. They would share their stories but I just always noticed their countenance dropped every time that they told me, "Ma'am, I might hit the floor if I hear a loud noise." When they just mentioned that they had PTSD, these very macho and brave men would look defeated. My first class with anything to do with positive psychology was a social psychology class. That was where I first learned about post traumatic growth. I was hooked. I had something that I could share with people that could give them hope rather than a diagnosis that didn't give them hope. I'll never forget the next patient that came in and shared with me that he had PTSD. I listened to his story as I always did and I sat there and then when the opportunity arose, I just asked the patient, "Have you ever heard of post traumatic growth?" He had not and he wanted to know more. I shared with him that it was growth that occurs after you've had a traumatic event and that you either experience a greater purpose and meaning in life, a connection to others, a greater appreciation for your own life, better relationships and connection to a cause. I'll never forget the look on that patient's face when he said, "Ma'am, I got that. I think I have that," and was able to share and pick out a story of how he had been in an improvised explosive device detonation, an IED. Through that, when he came back, he was a drill sergeant so he was able to share with his new recruits how to avoid IEDs because he had experienced it firsthand himself. His whole face lit up. You just saw the positive change that happened. That was my first piece of positive psychology that I learned and I couldn't get enough from there. Emiliya: Wow. What an incredibly touching story, Katrina. Thank you. What are some of the ways in which you're implementing positive psychology today? Katrina: I have been blessed to be able to implement it in many different ways. For the last four years, I've taught at a career college so I knew that these skills and positive psychology were the missing piece of the curriculum, that we could teach people skills and we could teach them knowledge in their field. Positive psychology helps people be able to handle life. We can teach skills that help you show up in the world the way that you want to. I use character strengths with my students so they were able to be prepared for an interview knowing where they were strong. They didn't go into an interview and say, "I'm bubbly." They actually knew where their strengths lied and how they had used them to help them through challenges. That was very empowering. I participated in several years of “character day” at the school and that was really always very rewarding for me as well. I taught a lot of resilience skills as well to my students. I found that growth mindset and fixed mindset showed up so much in my students and how I could help them to see that and to ask questions that were going to leave them somewhere rather than questions that just cause them to judge themselves. Emiliya: For our listeners that are tuning in that might not be familiar with growth mindset and fixed mindset, can you tell us how to share this concept with others? Katrina: I definitely can. Growth mindset and fixed mindset comes from Carol Dweck. I have to admit that I had the book for a while without ever reading it. I knew it was a book I wanted to get to but once I dove into that book and I could see how much that all of us have these tendencies to not just be one way or the other, but both of them show up in our lives in certain ways. Growth mindset will lead people to embrace challenges and to see that we can learn from failure. Fixed mindset tends to show up where you see people who are afraid to make any mistake whatsoever. They don't want to do a procedure. They don't want to learn a new task because they're afraid that they won't be good enough, and why make a mistake? I saw that so often with my students so I was able to teach them that we learn through making mistakes. That was the perfect place to be learning and making mistakes was when we had plastic patients rather than real patients because those times you don't want to make a mistake. I was able to help them to see that and to hopefully recognize it in other areas of their lives so that they could persevere outside the classroom with those skills as well. Emiliya: Thank you for sharing that Katrina. I'm curious, what are some of the more poignant ways in which positive psychology has personally impacted you? Katrina: I think one of the key things again is the character strengths and how, when I was able to recognize my own character strengths and how they showed up my life, then I could really feel free to incorporate those. Even though I was already incorporating them, they're how we show up in the world, but it really gave me a better understanding of myself. Plus, it helps me to look at others and be able to see their strengths and how teams are formed and how we can—where I'm weak and I can use where someone else is strong to accomplish a goal better. Growth mindset and fixed mindset shows up in my world as well. There are still challenges for me. I'm probably in that big group of people that feel that sales is one of those things that I'm just not good at, yet I know through all of this education and this field that we can learn and develop if we put enough time, practice, and get the right resources, that we can be good at anything that we choose to do in life and that there's nothing that's outside of our reach. It may take me a little bit longer, that may not be an area that I'm super strong in, but I can develop those skills. Emiliya: Thank you Katrina. What are some of the most exciting things you're up to right now? Katrina: I have just accepted a position at a community dental clinic as a coordinator of six dental clinics. With this work, I will be able to use positive psychology in my training and hiring and evaluations and putting teams together. I'm really, really excited to find a position that allows me to use my skills and my work as well as my love and passion and knowledge in positive psychology. It's just a great fit. I have a lot of freedom to incorporate this as I see will benefit the teams and the clinics. I'm really excited about that. Emiliya: Thank you Katrina. In positive psychology, we frequently talk a lot about the importance of self-care. We say that self-care is healthcare. What are some of the self-care principles that guide you in your day to day life? Katrina: I'm so glad you brought that up because that is something that I really do incorporate into my life. Sometimes we get so busy that we actually forget even though we know this is so important to who we are. It's so important to take that time to replenish ourselves. One of the things that I do that my husband thinks is pretty funny is I refuse to choose where we eat. It’s something that depletes me to make that decision, so I don't really like that; I save my decisions for more important things in life, so I tell him I don't have to choose where we eat. I'll just pick what I want when we get there. I love being out in nature. I do love the beauty of the sunrise and the sunset and the stars and the ocean. Recently, my husband and I just got back from Florida. We were able to take some down time to just really invest in ourselves personally and in our relationship because both of us are in this helping field of coaching and speaking and training. We do tend to put so many other people before ourselves so we do have to recognize that self-care, whether that's a bubble bath, whether that's just quiet time, your favorite music, exercise, whatever that works for you. For me, I enjoy quiet time and I do enjoy just the beauty of nature around me. Emiliya: Thank you for sharing that. One of the questions we've been asking our interviewees is: What is your definition of what it means to flourish? Katrina: That's a great question, Emiliya. I definitely love “to show up the world the way that you want to.” I think that we all have that ability when we are equipped with the skillset and mindset of resilience. It really does help us to push through life and to thrive. I feel like when we're using our gifts, our skills, and our passions and we're incorporating that as our purpose in life, how we show up in this world, that's when I feel like I'm thriving. That's where I feel like I am right now in my life because that I have been equipped with the knowledge from The Flourishing Center and through other sources as well and that I know what my gifts are, I know what my strengths are, and I know what I'm passionate about, and I know that I get to show up in the world and I get to use my purpose. I take my purpose with me everywhere that I am. I think so many people are so scared of the word purpose and they are thinking it's elusive in that they can't reach it when our purpose is what we're living daily. We can take that with us. Recently, I was struggling with a few things. We hear when your why is big enough, you don't have to worry about your how. I thought about that and it's so true but when your why is big enough, you don't have to worry about your how or your where. All you have to worry about is that you do because you take that calling and that purpose with you. When you do that, you are thriving. Emiliya: Wow. Such an inspiration with those words, Katrina. Yes, the words “showing up the world the way that you want to,” which refers it to me by Dr. Srikumar Rao, are ones that I both repeat often. It's a question I ask myself often, "Am I showing up in the world the way that I want to? How do I want to show up in the world around this situation?" It's a powerful question to ask. Katrina, what have you found have been some of the biggest obstacles you faced in trying to introduce positive psychology? Some would say, "Wow, in a dental office, how does that work?" I would imagine that not every single person is not as bright eyed and bushy tailed, or some people might think you've drank some Kool-Aid. I think one of the biggest challenges is just helping people to understand that positive psychology isn't “happyology.” It isn't about happy all the time. There is definitely times in our lives and situations where it's not appropriate to be happy but working with our emotions, not getting stuck in our emotions, is one of the things that I really want people to know. That is how I want to help them in this world, is learning when and how. It's learning character strengths, when you can overuse one or underuse one. There's just so much that we can use in positive psychology to touch every person. I believe it belongs in every company, every organization. I think just that it's still so new to a lot of people—they just aren't understanding what we have to offer in the world. I think reframing it in ways that really help people to realize the benefit is one of the ways that we can push past some of these challenges. Emiliya: Katrina, how can people learn more about you and follow up with you if they have any questions about your work? Katrina: Probably the best way is on my Facebook, PS3 Coaching. That's usually where you'll see my workshops that I have going on. You'll also see a link to the character strengths survey so that everyone can have access to that information. If they want more information on what to do from that, then they can reach me. I give a free consultation and help people to see if incorporating coaching can help them to reach those goals in their life that they would like to. I give a lot of workshops at the Bounce Back Better® system. Thank you, Emiliya, for creating that and sharing that with us so that we can share it in the world, one of the most incredible experiences that I ever had to go through the program as well as the CAPP Program. Both of those are so intense in my life and they have really equipped me with everything I need to help people to know more about this work. I teach pieces of positive psychology that I incorporate in with MLMs. I recently did a Growing Your Mindset, Growing Your Business. I just incorporated some pieces of the growth mindset from Carol Dweck and some other elements that I feel like are very important for people to grow their business and just understand those key elements of how our self-doubt shows up and what we can do with that. Emiliya: I know earlier we mentioned that you have such a robust family. I'm curious, how do you bring positive psychology to eight children and 20 grandchildren? Katrina: They get it whether they want it or not probably. It's who I am. It's how I show up in the world. I love that I have this knowledge base to share with my children and our grandchildren, teaching them how to look for what's strong in others, even growth mindset. I sat down with one of my granddaughters who has very high expectations for herself. She was reading and every time she came to a word that she didn't understand, if I had to help her with the word or if I chose to help her when she wasn't getting the word, then she would stop and she would go back to the page and start all over again. I thought, "Well, how can I incorporate growth mindset into this situation with my granddaughter to help her to understand?" I said, "Can I read the next poem in your book?" She said, "Yes, Nana, you can." I started to read and I got to a word and I pretended that I didn't understand the word or didn't know how to pronounce the word and I tried to pronounce it. Then, I said, "Can you help me with this? This is kind of a tough one." I said, "You know? It's okay that we don't know every word. It's all right that we're just learning. The next time we'll probably get it right after we learn it." We got through that and I did that exercise with her a few times. The next time when she went to read again, every time she came to a word that she would try and did not know how to pronounce, she would look at me, I would help her and then she would say it and she would continue on. She didn't have the need to go back to the beginning of the story again because she didn't want to be wrong. I thought, "Wow, I teach this but this is real time." We can see how beneficial this is in real time to teach our children and our grandchildren that it's our right to make a mistake. We don't have to be perfect and we learn from our mistakes. Emiliya: I love that. Thank you for sharing such a specific and impactful way to bring growth mindset into the life of a child. Again, just want to highlight how it's the micro moments, those tiny little moments that add up to the bigger changes that we can make over time. Katrina, thank you so much for being here with us. It's been an honor to learn more about you and how you're implementing this work in the world. Thank you so much for sharing everything that you have with us. Katrina: Thank you Emiliya. I really appreciated the opportunity. As I said before, I can't thank you enough for creating the CAPP Program, the Certification in Applied Positive Psychology, and I followed that program for a while before I was able to step out and take it. It was one of the most impactful things in my entire life. Then with the Bounce Back Better® Program as well. Everyone needs this information. Every company, every organization, every school needs it. I'm just so proud to be able to pin it into my piece of the world and help people to have the skills to face adversity and just keep going. Emiliya: Thank you so much Katrina. It's an honor to be able to just create the container and share these tools. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Have a question about the science of happiness and wellbeing? Or, have an issue that you'd love a life hack around? Send us a message to info@theflourishingcenter.com and we'd love to offer you some positive psychology based skills to address your questions. Thanks for listening and we look forward to connecting with you soon.
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Leeza Gibbons with her father
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Leeza Gibbons’ 6 Tips for Family Caregivers

Caregiving is a role that takes many people by surprise. The financial and emotional toll of assisting a sick or aging loved one seems to rise every year, according to several studies. Now, an estimated 90 million Americans provide unpaid caregiving that covers a variety of ailments from cancer and Alzheimer’s to stroke, and much more. Author and talk show host Leeza Gibbons has firsthand experience with taking care of a loved one. She has been a family caregiver for more than a decade. Through her work with Leeza’s Care Connection, she’s both served and learned from thousands of caregivers from around the country. November is National Family Caregivers Month, which gives us the opportunity to recognize and honor the important role family members, friends and neighbors play in caring for loved ones. This year’s theme is “Caregiving Around the Clock,” and we had the chance to ask Leeza to share wisdom for caregivers juggling the tasks of caring for their loved ones as well as for themselves. Here are her six most important pieces of advice for caregivers, whether they are just starting out or already in the thick of it. 1. Prepare for your role as caregiver, and own it. “The first thing to recognize is, odds are, you will be caring for someone, or someone will be caring for you at some point. Now is the time to begin having conversations with your loved ones. Caregiving is not anyone’s definition of happily ever after. But when it happens, the sooner you can claim it and name it, the better you’re going to be able to navigate this path.” 2. Bolster your support network then divide and conquer. “You’re going to need people. This is not a path you can walk alone. My siblings and I had a caregiving plan for my mom, with Alzheimer’s, and again with my dad when he had bypass surgery after his heart attack. We looked at what we each could contribute: Who is the best organizer? Who can contribute the most financially? Who can physically be there to communicate with the doctors? We all took our roles and stayed in our lanes.” 3. Leverage technology. “These days, technology offers a big advantage, especially for new caregivers. There are many free apps to help manage your time, start family calendars, and help you meditate, breathe and protect your mental health. Medical alert services are great at helping seniors embrace their independence and giving caregivers peace of mind, knowing that help is always available. I feel much more comfortable knowing my Dad has one, which I talked him into getting after learning he had a cardiac risk. He was wearing it two years later when he had a heart attack, and it saved his life.” 4. Connect with other caregivers, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. “Leeza’s Care Connection links people to other caregivers who have walked the path before. With strategies, tools and tips, our goal is to help caregivers be more confident and competent and to realize they don’t have to let go of themselves to care for someone they love. Better care for caregivers means better outcomes for care receivers. Our focus is to care for the caregivers.” 5. Locate your resilience and strive for optimism. “One thing I’ve noticed about those who handle their caregiving role well is how quickly they let go of failures. People who are optimistic about caregiving aren’t in denial. They can rebound and recover better. Those who are tied to their resilience are the ones who get through the challenges more affectively. There many ways for us to reclaim ourselves on the caregiving journey — and it’s different for every person — whether it’s taking a yoga class, exploring mindfulness, making art, or participating in dance or humor therapy. We have lots of programs on our website that help people connect with their resilience. The ability to focus on what’s left, instead of what’s lost is a key component to being successful.” 6. Find the joy. “I’ve seen many families learn they have great capacity to accept tremendous change and still come out on the other side with happiness, joy and a new definition of what it means to be a family. The people who survive hard times and thrive through their caregiving experience become proud, as I have been and as my family has become. We learned so much about ourselves and were able to face a lot of uncertainty with hope and grace.” Brooke Edwards is a writer in Little Rock, Arkansas. She and her husband raise two daughters and have twice as many pets. They spend a lot of time sweeping. Brooke enjoys Harry Potter and camping and is fresh on the Minecraft scene.
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North House Folk School
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Folk Schools Revitalize Traditional Skills of the Past

Sunlight streams through huge windows and wide doors that open onto a dock and the sheltered harbor of Grand Marais, Minnesota, where waves from the mighty Lake Superior crash against the breakwater. Inside, delicate curls of wood accumulate on the floor around eight students at work on electric lathes, intently turning 4-inch-thick disks of birch into artful wooden bowls. This is North House Folk School, where people of all ages and walks of life learn artisan skills in a collection of colorful buildings that looks like a small New England village. No matter what the class—knitting to boatbuilding—they come here to make physical objects with their hands and do what, according to North House Executive Director Greg Wright, “humans were designed to do.” Watch for a while and you’ll see there’s much more going on in this workshop than turning wooden bowls. Class member Jay Schulz, a recently retired chemist and product steward for 3M in St. Paul, Minnesota, says, “While working as a chemist, I was constantly juggling multiple programs, holding hundreds of details in mind and making constant value judgments.” By contrast, he says, “When turning wood, it’s just you and a piece of a tree. When I turn, I am focused on one element at a time, making the best cut possible, but surrounded by all the varied and rich characteristics of turning. For example, there is the smell of the wood, the sound of the cut, the vibration of the tool in hand, the direct visual of the cut happening while in the periphery you watch the new shape forming and the chips and ribbons flying. Turning is pure joy of the moment.” Hands Instead of Thumbs Whether you call it slow living, downshifting or the DIY movement, artisans like Jay are part of a resurgence in handcrafts. It can be seen in the growing number of folk schools that have taken root in the United States from Alaska to Florida where they teach thousands of people each year how to build wooden boats, cobble shoes, bake with ancient grains, build and play musical instruments, make pottery and even turn a squirrel into soup and tan its hide. On the surface, these pursuits may seem quaintly amusing. Why carve a spoon when you can buy one? “I tell people I make baskets, and they think I’m kidding,” says Pattie Bagley of Marietta, Georgia, who is a resident artist at the John C. Campbell Folk School in Brasstown, North Carolina. “They think it’s hilarious, but then they get interested.” Folk schools attribute the popularity of handcrafting to a combination of factors. They cite the recent economic recession that prompted a greater interest in frugality and self-sufficiency and a growing interest in healthier and more sustainable living. They also mention a rejection of too much technology as a driver of the trend. Students often seek an escape from the virtual life of social media and computers to find meaningful connection with their fellow artisans and to work with their hands, not thumbs. Pattie says, “Young people are looking for more than glass and plastic. They want connection and something authentic. You can score 10,000 points on a computer game or, with the same amount of time, make something tangible of quality and value.” Baby boomers, on the other hand, often find their way to folk schools in search of a new means of self-expression. “I’ve been a lawyer and a mom,” says Lorna Gleason of Minneapolis, who took pottery classes at John C. Campbell, “and now I have the time to explore other activities.” Such learning vacations are one way to discover new creative outlets and to experience the satisfaction of making beautiful objects. An added draw: Many folk schools are in idyllic settings that allow travelers to connect with beautiful destinations from the Adirondacks to the Oregon coast in a more meaningful way, by learning the craft traditions of the region. What Is a Folk School? The idea of folkehøjskole (folk school) emerged in Denmark in the 1830s with educator and philosopher N.F.S. Grundtvig, who advocated noncompetitive “schools for life” that encouraged inner growth and development in connection with the larger community. John C. Campbell, an American educator and reformer, saw that the Danish schools “had helped transform the countryside into a vibrant, creative force,” according to folkschool.org. John hoped that such schools could improve the quality of the Appalachian region’s crafts. That would allow artisans to profit from their work and help preserve the traditional skills of the area as well. In 1925, his widow, Olive, founded the John C. Campbell Folk School, the granddaddy of U.S. folk schools, and it now offers 860 weekend and weeklong classes on its 300-acre campus. Like a year-round camp for grown-ups, the John C. Campbell experience includes housing and food, singing before meals, contra dancing and square dancing, and tours of local artists’ studios. Six thousand students of all ages arrive each year to find that “vibrant, creative force” in themselves. Folk schools are as diverse as their locations. Many newer schools offer classes in the homes or on the farms of their instructors or in state parks. Most offer courses in pottery, weaving, photography, cooking and blacksmithing, but also specialize in the traditional skills of their region. In Minnesota, for example, folk schools emphasize Scandinavian crafts and skills of the North such as building canoes, baskets or bowls from birch. The common thread is that the schools tether the past to the future with a focus on skills that have been lost to convenience culture. “It’s not about rejecting today. It’s about adding back in what’s been lost,” Greg says. People once learned to make things by hand—cooking, carpentry, knitting and sewing—at home or perhaps in home economics and shop classes at school, but now those opportunities are scarce. Martha Owen, a weaving instructor at John C. Campbell from Murphy, North Carolina, explains, “My grandmother wanted nothing more than to leave farm life behind. My mother was an engineer, and her generation rejected anything handmade including food, so there was no one to learn from.” Folk schools are filling that role by recovering and passing on skills that have nearly been lost in everyday life. Greg says, “We’re fostering the next generation of artisans and people who believe this stuff matters.” Beyond the Bowl Clay flies off the wheel, bread fails to rise and stitches drop. For beginners, trying a new skill takes a bit of courage, and students often start by declaring, “I’m not artistic.” Yet, says Pattie, “It’s hard to describe the feeling of accomplishment, the value of hot, crusty bread right out of the oven, the beautiful pot or basket and the joy of ‘getting it’ when you finally start to master a new challenge.” Watching students in that process, it becomes apparent that it’s about much more than the end product; it’s about learning and experience. That’s especially true when, as a regular part of the class, a new “turner” takes her carefully wrought wooden bowl to the instructor. The observer wants to shout, “NO!” but it’s too late. The instructor cuts the bowl in half with a table saw. By sacrificing the bowl, the student can better gauge its thickness and uniformity. Obviously, the artisan path is one of patience, persistence and continuous improvement. Jay says, “At the onset, one has an idea of what the finished project should look like. The steps are usually fairly simple to move from a piece of a tree trunk to a bowl. You first mount the blank, you form the basic shape, you create the detailed shape, then finish. In moving from the blank to the finish, you make many simple cuts, over and over, each one subtracting a small amount of material. You slowly watch your final vision taking form. There’s an adjustment here and there but there is always the rhythm, again and again, shaping and removing material until you’re satisfied. This rhythm, or flow, is like meditation for me, just breathing, watching, cutting.” It’s no wonder that many artisans feel what Hungarian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls flow. His research found that people experience genuine satisfaction during a state of consciousness in which they are completely absorbed in an activity, especially an activity that involves their creative abilities. In addition, a host of neurochemicals percolate in our brains when we’re crafting that stimulate the brain’s reward centers, according to Kelly Lambert, Ph.D., professor of behavioral neuroscience at the University of Richmond and the author of the book Lifting Depression. “There are neurochemicals accompanying all functions and activities of our brain from clicking on computers to woodworking and everything in between.” For example, she says, “Serotonin, known to most as a neurotransmitter involved in mood regulation (and influenced by many antidepressant medications), has been found to increase during repetitive movements, which is interesting considering how hobbies involve so many repetitive movements.” She also lists dopamine, which is associated with pleasure, and specific hormones that are at work. “In animal models in my lab, as animals work to obtain their rewards, DHEA, a hormone implicated in emotional resilience, is increased.” Crafting a Connection Artisan crafts also offer rewards in the form of interpersonal connections that reveal themselves at the end of each day at North House Folk School. Students gather around the fire pit overlooking Lake Superior or around a wood stove indoors to share a little about themselves and swap stories about their days, laughing about their challenges and what they’ve learned. Among them there’s a father and his teenage sons who are learning blacksmithing together and a married couple tackling wood turning. They talk of the value of undistracted time together. Students also make new friends in classes, sharing camaraderie born of their common pursuits. That’s one reason folk schools take the concept of noncompetitive learning seriously—no grades, just fun. One North House woodturner said, “If I like it, it’s good enough.” That fosters a spirit of cooperation that allows classmates to learn from one another. “There’s great supportive energy,” says Lisa Pilati-Warner, a John C. Campbell student from Minneapolis who took cooking classes. “You meet and mingle with people you’d never cross paths with otherwise. People make friends and they return year after year.” Mark Hansen, a gregarious instructor and a founder of the North House Folk School, summarizes, “Folk schools connect people to a place, a culture, a tradition and to each other.” Find Your Inner Artisan There are more than 40 U.S. folk schools that make great destinations for a learning adventure. They usually place special emphasis on the traditional crafts and folkways of their region. Here are a few of the most well-known: Adirondack Folk School Lake Luzerne, New York adirondackfolkschool.org The Adirondack Folk School, not far from Saratoga Springs, teaches students to make traditional Adirondack chairs and twig furniture, tie flies, build canoes and more. The Clearing Folk School Ellison Bay, Wisconsin theclearing.org The Clearing offers weeklong, one- and two-day classes on its residential campus located on Lake Michigan on the tip of Wisconsin’s Door County. Its classes capitalize on natural surroundings and history. John C. Campbell Folk School Brasstown, North Carolina folkschool.org The oldest U.S. folk school emphasizes the crafts of Appalachia and offers weekend and weeklong classes on its residential campus. North House Folk School Grand Marais, Minnesota northhouse.org Features one-day and multiday classes with an emphasis on traditional northern crafts. Ploughshare Institute for Sustainable Culture Waco, Texas sustainlife.org Ploughshare teaches the skills of sustainable agrarian culture in one-day and multiday classes on its campus and online. The program grew out of Homestead Heritage, an agrarian- and craft-based intentional Christian community. For more, visit the Folk School Alliance: peopleseducation.org/folk-school-links Terri Peterson Smith is an award-winning writer, photographer and author specializing in travel, food and entertainment. Her work has been features in USA Today, Better Homes & Gardens, National Geographic and other publications.
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Computer screen with a big heart
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How to Increase Empathy in the Digital Era

In the last five years, cyber-bullying has seen a drastic increase, leaving parents, teachers and communities concerned. Online communication has created a space for people to openly speak their minds, which means they can vent anonymously with little fear of repercussion. Without having to see another human’s emotional feedback loop, some individuals feel emboldened to speak hatefully, create fear and spread mistrust. More than ever, we need to cultivate empathy as a society. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It goes beyond simply feeling bad for someone’s misfortune. Instead, it entails mentally climbing into that person’s shoes to share in the pain and seek solutions together. Empathy helps us to become less judgmental, less frustrated, less angry and less disappointed. It teaches us patience and helps us gain a broader perspective of the world. When we empathize, we realize there are elements of connection with others—that we are not that different after all. And of course, when we empathize with others, they are more likely to empathize with us in return. If we want empathy to stem the tide of online negativity, we need to fight fire with fire, by using online social influence to overpower the loud, squeaky wheels on message boards. Leveraging social influence is about increasing the strength and number of sources for a particular idea, like creating empathy. For instance, by simply watching and positively rating good content on the web, you send a powerful message to content creators and increase its visibility for others. To that end, here are some of my favorite online outlets for increasing empathy: For all ages: Humans of New York: This app showcases a catalogue of photos along with the stories behind New York City inhabitants with the intent of raising a greater sense of empathy. Soul Pancake: Watch inspiring, hilarious videos where people talk about stuff that really matters, such as spirituality, religion, death, love, life’s purpose and creativity. Seize Your Moments: Peruse 10,000 beautiful “moments” collected from strangers by Dutch activist and world traveler Janne Willems, who uses art to inspire a global movement of trust, kindness and happiness. The Good Cards: This real-life game combined with an app was created to inspire people to spread happiness, one act of kindness at a time. For kids: BrainPop: Explore a suite of videos, lessons and games—all focused on teaching digital etiquette online. Random App of Kindness (RAKi): This app was designed to increase empathy in teens using scientifically backed, interactive games. Common Sense Media: Browse an entire search engine of curated apps and games designed to teach empathy, divided into age-specific categories. Apps and websites such as these remind us that technology can be a magnifier, a force for positive change—but only if we choose to make that happen. The same technology that is used for bullying can now be used to lend a helping hand or a listening ear. For all the distractions, dangers and frustrations that current technologies bring into our lives, they can also be used for our highest purposes. This is the future of happiness, and it’s up to us to create it. Listen to our podcast: The Future of Happiness with Amy Blankson Amy Blankson, aka the ‘Happy Tech Girl,’ is on a quest to help individuals balance productivity and well-being in the digital era. Amy, with her brother Shawn Achor, co-founded GoodThink, which brings the principles of positive psychology to lifeand works with organizations such as Google, NASA and the U.S. Army. Her latest book is called The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-being in the Digital Era.
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Hands joining together
Flourishing Center

How to Get in the Zone

Take a glimpse into the world of applied positive psychology with The Flourishing Center podcast. Each episode includes three sections giving you insights and hacks into living an authentically happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Learn how behavioral synchrony impacts how people feel as result of being immersed in a group. Life Hack—Learn what science tells us about how to get in the zone. Practitioner’s Corner—Learn more about the project Happier By The Minute. Learn more about The Flourishing Center Read the interview from the Practitioner's Corner: Emiliya:  Hello everyone, with me today I have Stacey Yates Sellar. She is creator of Happier by the Minute. She's also a graduate of our positive psychology certification course that she did in San Francisco, California and she's also a graduate of our coaching certification program. Stacey is the mother of two gorgeous boys and the wife of a cool, hot, Scottish dude, as she describes him. Stacey:   I manifested. I totally manifested him. Emiliya:   Stacey it is so great to have you with us. Thank you. Stacey:   Thank you so much. I also did the Flourishing Skills workshop too. Whatever I can take, I take from The Flourishing Center because it is just ... There's so many great things. It is like an a la carte menu that has everything you could ever want. Emiliya:  Thanks Stacey. So, Stacey tell us, what is Happier by the Minute? Stacey:  Well, it's funny because it started as my class project in my CAPP course, which I stumbled upon as I was asking the universe to send me guidance and surround me with like minded people and help me figure out what my next iteration of myself is. I came across the CAPP class and then I took it really because at the end you have to do a project that says how you are going to deliver this to the world, the positive psychology. When I started the course I was like, "Oh I have no idea, but I'm going to do it anyway." Then of course by the end, I came up with this idea being a busy mom with a full time career running a pretty big multi-million dollar, multi-location business, I realized there's a lot of busy people out there and so I decided to create Happier by the Minute, which is little one minute videos with tools of positive psychology, that are free online and I will build from there, but that's how it started. It's just get it out there quickly and easily for people who are super busy. Emiliya:  I love that. Thank you Stacey. Tell us more about your background and what brought you to positive psychology? Stacey: Oh my goodness. I have been a searcher of "it," I used my air quotes, I would say all my life. People will be really, really surprised to know that I have a lot of depression in my family and that I was really depressed and have a lot of anxiety and insecurities in high school. I was always searching and before there were TED Talks and YouTube, there were those cassette programs from Dale Carnegie, and Earl Nightingale, Zig Ziglar, and of course Napoleon Hill, and so I was always reading and searching and it just has always been part of my life. Then I felt like, when I found the CAPP course, it definitely was like, "Ahhh, that's it. All the stuff I've been studying is actually under a name called positive psychology and it's all under one roof." It was really amazing to find that course and have it accessible to me as opposed to going to get the masters. Emiliya:  Awesome Stacey. Before you even came to this, you'd been an entrepreneur for many years as well right? Stacey:  I have. I am my own lesson in failure's okay. I've tried all kinds of different ways, with writing a book and doing a cable show, when cable was before again YouTube, and a radio show. Those things never quite clicked but in the meantime, as it does, life happened. I created a career in helping some other people building a really great business. Within that business I was really able to really do a lot of coaching and development for teams. So it's always been there. It's always been in my daily life. It's just kind of all coming together now. I'm just a late bloomer. Emiliya:  Beautiful Stacey, and how are you using positive psychology now? Stacey:  In my personal life it's changed so much in my relationships with my family, how I work with my kids, certainly at work, with my husband, but then how I want to deliver it is really exciting in putting together the videos and then I have an Instagram page where I try to give happiness hacks through what I'm doing in my daily life. So, it's really real and relevant. I do workshops for ... I have a child with special needs so I do a yearlong workshop in the district for other moms with special needs. I also teach a class at an alternative school here for teenagers about how to start using the skills of positive psychology now, early on, while they're in the height of when they need it the most. Everywhere. It touches me and I try to be a distributor of positive psychology as much as possible. Emiliya:  Yeah. You're definitely, Stacey, on our 5i change agent inventory, an inventor. Someone who digests and designs and disseminates positive psychology and you invent experiences for people, be it through the ability to watch your videos or interact in your classes or to read what you've written. It's such a great example of, you're a creator, you're an inventor. Stacey:  Thank you. That is the greatest compliment that you could give me. I just think of all the strength finders and the VIA institute, getting the values in action and knowing what my strengths are has helped me a lot. Yeah, and I want to invent even more ways. My next idea that I'm putting together right now is to create a weekly happy huddle. One thing that I know for sure is that it takes practice and consistency. While I love doing workshops and I love doing a little one minute video, I also know that you've got to create some habit of consistency around it and so I'm going to put together just a little half and hour phone call where people can call in weekly, they can choose a different time, and they can call in to this group call where for about 15 minutes we talk about a skill and a tool, maybe we even do it on the call because sometimes I can give you the idea, but you won't actually go do it. We're going to talk about gratitude and then for five minutes we're going to write a gratitude letter and then it will be open for questions where people can really talk about things that they're struggling with and other people can learn from it. You can just come every week for half an hour to kind of get your boost of happiness or positive psychology to just sort of keep it consistent. I think of it sort of like an AA meeting for positivity. Emiliya:  I love that Stacey. I remember when I was first starting off as a coach, one of my clients, one of my positive psychology coaching clients had come to me and said in this moment of what she seemed to express as shame, she said, "You know Emiliya, I sometimes go to AA meetings, but I don't have a drinking problem. I actually don't drink. I just really appreciate the community and just being able to go somewhere where you just hear other people's stories and can feel like you connect to people." That was my first moment of going, "Oh my Gosh. That's so true. We don't have places in our communities where we can go to where you just want to connect with other people and that we have to pathologize something being wrong before people are able to get this kind of group support." Stacey:  Isn't that interesting? I think about it and I wanted to do this. It's always been a desire in the back of my mind in that I've wanted to create this place where people could go because I struggle with going to church every week because there isn't a church where we just can go and sit around and talk about positivity and not attach it to anything. So, I've sort of always had this in the back of my mind and with technology today, it's made it so much easier for people to connect, that we can do it virtually. So now I'm super excited about creating this virtual place where people can come live and just connect. Even they don't have to show themselves or anything. They can just listen in. They can get the past episode. Again, the more you feed your brain the positive stuff, it kind of crowds out the negative stuff is what I think. Emiliya:  Absolutely. What are some of the different positive psychology practices that are your favorites? Stacey:  I've been doing vision boards for a very long time. Gosh I would say 15 years. I took a course at some workshop and was introduced to them long before The Secret. Actually, I knew about The Secret before Oprah did. Emiliya:  Now that's a secret. Stacey:  Exactly. I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan of, "What you think about you bring about." Certainly that. I'm a big fan of primers, which I kind of think of what a vision board is, but attaching something to another activity, a habit that you do all the time. So, thinking of five things that you're grateful for every time you brush your teeth. I'm a big fan of post-it notes around the house, on the refrigerator like, "You are amazing. You're more beautiful than you know." I also certainly, the one, the biggest, the greatest, the all-time, if you could do anything that's going to change your life, is just gratitude. I started that practice when I was in a little 600 square foot apartment in debt, injured, single, miserable, overweight, and I just was in bed going, "You know what? I just have to start." It was, "I'm grateful that I have a bed to sleep in. I'm grateful that I have a refrigerator and it has food in it." Then, my life has just exponentially grown to where I just have so much to be grateful for, so I use those opportunities to talk about how much I'm grateful as much as I possibly can Emiliya:  Thank you Stacey. I'm curious. I know that you've been through so much in your life, what are some obstacles that positive psychology has helped you overcome? Stacey:  That is a really good question. I think the biggest one is the negative mind chatter and having a growth mindset. I'm a big fan of Carol Dweck and I use that with my kids, but I also use it in my own, just my negative mind chatter and really challenging that. Certainly I watched the positive psychology course from Harvard that Tal Ben-Shahar taught, which anybody can watch and it's really amazing, but his permission to be human has really helped me forgive myself for when I'm frustrated or angry, but you know what? It's the human condition and I think that, that is one of the most helpful things in knowing, is accepting our human-ness. Emiliya:  Earlier you mentioned that you also work with your own son with special needs and that you support parents in doing the same. I'm curious, what within our skillset has been helpful for you because this is typically an area that we don't see a lot of when it comes to positive psychology, traditionally? Stacey:  I think, one of the biggest challenges for parents with kids with special needs is that they spend so much time on their children and getting them the right services that they need and support that they need and it's really a battle. You have to know so much. It's a lot to navigate and we have a lot of support groups in how to navigate an IEP and how to work with the school and how to get great services. What we don't have is, or what I found is, we didn't have the support to rebuild ourselves and refuel ourselves. So, I made it clear early on that this group was not about our kids directly, but it was about how to build up our own strengths and refuel ourselves to be able to serve them better and help them. It really is where we talk about the strengths of the moms and where they are at their best and reminding each other of all of the great things were doing even in a day where everything seems to go wrong, we're still doing a great job. So, it's really just trying to remind them that even when it's hard, they're doing amazing. Emiliya:  Anything else that's on your mind in the field of positive psychology today or how you're applying positive psychology that you'd love for our listeners to learn? Stacey:  Again, I think that it's the consistency. I think TED Talks are such a gift. You know that's how I found positive psychology, stumbling on Marty Seligman's talk, certainly Dan Gilbert and his talks on stumbling on happiness and Angela Duckworth on grit now. There's just so many really great talks and if I were going to give one piece of advice to somebody that really is saying, "I want to make a change and I want to grow," I'd say replace the things in your life that aren't adding really great value emotionally and psychologically. For example, I used to spend a lot of time watching Real Housewives, okay I admit it, but I replaced that time with these TED Talks and with the books on happiness or watching the Harvard class from Tal Ben-Shahar and it really changes you because your time is the most valuable thing that we have and our attention is just ... There's so much noise out there in the world. So, to quite that noise or change what the noise is that's coming in, to positivity and positive things that you can do to improve your life, it literally will change your life. So, just surround yourself with it. Honestly, the minute you start looking at positive psychology and the books and the TED Talks and the courses, it's like drinking water from a fire hose. There's just so much great stuff. I mean like, really, I just want to quit my job, move to an island in Bali where I can just study all the time because there's so much great stuff and you just keep digging at it and just keep it playing in your head. Emiliya:  I love that Stacey. I can see your character strengths of love of learning and curiosity and interest in the world just pouring on out of you. Stacey:  Yeah and I love, again, in translating it. I am not the first. There's a million people out there doing it, which is awesome, and I try to go on Instagram and whenever I find other people that are change agents, either through affirmation cards or their art or any way that there's just so many people out there doing it and we just need to go find them and keep building them up and supporting them and saying, "Yay, we just are going to keep sending out that vibe and we're all going to touch different people in different ways." I live in a world where everybody wins, so it's so great to have so many change agents out there. I love that word that I'm pretty sure you came up with, but I love it. Emiliya:  Thanks. I definitely didn't come up with it, but we definitely integrate it. One of the things I want to highlight in what you just said there, Stacey, is that so many people who are inventors on our model, one of the challenges that they can sometimes go through is that they are so passionate, they love this information, and by definition, because we love to share, we also love to learn. To teach is to learn and so because inventors are constantly loving to take in information, they also can get stuck, because one of the things that can happen is they take in so much information, that they think to themselves, "One, where do I start? I don't even know where to begin, there's just so many good things out there that I want to share." They get information constipation, where there's so much that they want to share with people. That's why I love how you've really taken to heart, the understanding that, "I'm going to keep it simple. Happier by the Minute. Little digestible chunks at a time," which is so important because people can get so overwhelmed by just the quantity of information that's out there that they want to share with the world. Then the second, is what you said around how inventors can get stuck because they think to themselves, "Well it's already been done. There's already a TED Talk on this and Barbara Fredrickson talk's about that." They key to being a successful inventor is recognizing that while, yes, other people might have been expressing this topic, you are still unique in how you express it or the specific audience that you want to bring this too. So, focusing on moms of children's of special needs or focusing on high school students that are going on into transition and focusing in much more specific ways is so important to being a successful inventor and actually getting this work out into the world. Otherwise, what happens is, people just hold on to it and they're likely to just keep it to themselves without ever having shared it. Stacey:  100% and I am totally guilty of this. You definitely, there is so much information and there's so many great people, that there is a, "Where do I fit in?" We've talked about it in positive psychology calls and workshops, is this impostor syndrome too, that, "Who am I to talk about this? I don't have a PhD, I didn't go to Harvard, I didn't get my masters from Marty Seligman." I'm absolutely guilty of that, which is a great opportunity to use my positive psychology tools to say, "That's okay. There is a place for everyone." It really is, I use it every day and then I also have the challenge of, "Do I do webinars? Do I write a book? Do I do workshops? Do I teach this in businesses? To kids? To moms?" That really is a real challenge where I think tapings that have come out of The Flourishing Center that are really helpful, is one, coaching. So either using a coach, and I met so many great people in the coaching class that we help each other. So, you definitely need support. You need someone to hold you accountable and help you get curious. Part two is just to have an attitude of yes. Just start with yes. Some of these things are just coming to me and the mom's of the kids ask me to put on the group and then the school found me and asked me to do the talk. I just say yes and say, "Which one starts feeling like me?" And, "Which one felt great? Which one do I want to expand on?" Just have that attitude of yes and get curious and have a bias to action as they say in designing your life. Just say yes and do lots of different things and then it will get clear. Emiliya:  Beautiful Stacey. Thank you so much. If people wanted to find out more about who you are, what you're up to, how they can continue to learn from you, where would they find you? Stacey:  HappierbytheMinute.com so it's super easy. Instagram is HappierbyMinute, somebody else has HappierbytheMinute, they stole my thing, but they can find me on Instagram and Facebook, but Happier by the Minute is where you can find me and hopefully lots more fun things to come. I'm just so, so grateful to The Flourishing Center and I'm not trying to do this plug for you, you can edit it out, but I really am just so grateful that you just opened me and thousands of other people to this world that is just changing lives. You've touched me and then I touched five people and they touched five people. It definitely has an amazing rippling effect. So, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all you're doing. Emiliya:  Aw, thank you Stacey and thank you for what you're doing. Together we're working to make the world a better place and there's a lot of need out there, so we just all keep doing our own part and thank you for doing yours. So much love to you Stacey, look forward to connecting with you and thank you for being our guest. Stacey:  Oh, my pleasure. Thank you. Emiliya:  Visit www.HappierbytheMinute.com to learn more about Stacey and her projects in getting positive psychology out to the world. Curious how you too can become a positive psychology practitioner? Check out our website, TheFlourishingCenter.com and check out our Certification in Applying Positive Psychology Program. We're located in 12 cities across the U.S. and Canda as well as online internationally. We'd love to share this information with you and help you spread Flourishing to others.
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