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Author Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and teammate

The Power of Teamwork

As I muscled my way across the long stretch of monkey bars, my arms grew tired. With each subsequent bar I gripped I couldn't imagine how I would muster the strength to continue… Twenty minutes earlier, my friend Michele and I were stretching and trying to stay warm as we anxiously awaited our 3 p.m. start time. With the wind blowing and our adrenaline pumping, we nervously talked about what lay ahead. We were about to compete in our first Spartan Race—an intense challenge that combines a 3-plus mile run with 21 boot-camp-style obstacles. For the past twelve weeks we had trained together and were now racing as part of the 60-person "Relentless Fitness Team”, comprised in part of members from our gym, Relentless Fitness. We were doing the Spartan Race in part to raise money for Steve’s Club, a national nonprofit that helps keep at-risk kids off the streets by inviting them into the gym to exercise after school. And so part of our team was made up of a group of teenagers from Steve’s Club. Running along with the teens, knowing that we were helping to raise money for them and their friends, gave added meaning to our endeavor, while competing alongside them literally kept us on our toes, because they were so fast! Spartan Strong …or seriously crazy? "Are we crazy?" we asked ourselves as our minds and muscles tensed and we tried to help each other relax and prepare for the race. And then it started and we had no choice: We were off and running. One of the first obstacles we encountered was the monkey bars. Eyeing the unusually thick bars and then my small hands, I couldn't fathom how I'd grip just one bar, let alone navigate across at least a dozen of them. But anyone who competes in the Spartan has to do a personal penance of 30 burpees for each obstacle they don’t complete. Michele and I briefly considered caving in, but instead we encouraged each other to forge ahead. At the same time, we watched in awe as our fellow teammate Toni successfully maneuvered the bars. I was inspired to give it a try. My arms ached. I struggled and wanted to stop, but I continued moving as I heard Toni and Michele exuberantly shout, "Go Suzie!" I also thought of my husband James and 5-year-old son Liam, who I knew were somewhere on the sidelines. The thought of them also encouraged me to keep on going. Suddenly I felt myself energetically and adeptly—almost effortlessly—swinging like a monkey. Before I knew it, and to my utter amazement, I reached the other side without falling. Strength in numbers—the test of teamwork Michele and I had decided earlier that rather than compete as individuals we would run together throughout the race. We, along with Roger, the co-owner of Relentless Fitness, our fearless trainer Ross, and his strong and willowy wife, Amy, used our unique physical and emotional strengths throughout the obstacle course to help one another with the variety of challenges. Whether it was giving someone a boost to scale a 6-foot wall, sharing one's technique on how to successfully pull a 75-pound weighted sand bag (thank you, Michele!), or giving an emotional lift with a word of encouragement, we were there for one another. Psychologists might say that what we were experiencing was the strength of teamwork. Defined as "representing a feeling of identification with and sense of obligation to a common good that includes the self but that stretches beyond one's own self-interest," teamwork was definitely at play on this special day for me. In their book Character Strengths and Virtues, psychologists Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman say that an "individual with this strength has a strong sense of duty, works for the good of the group rather than for personal gain, is loyal to friends, and can be trusted to pull his or her weight. He or she is a good teammate." I saw this tenet of positive psychology played out again and again at the Spartan Race. I think Michelle, myself and the others definitely acted as “good teammates.” As for “pulling our weight,” we certainly did that (those 75-pound sandbags!). Collaborators, not competitors When Michele and I fulfilled our promise to one another and crossed the finish line together, I felt a greater sense of joy than I would have if I had competed solo. And remarkably, rather than being depleted, I was somehow energized—and even did a celebratory cartwheel! To top it off, I found James and Liam standing at the finish line cheering me on and sharing in my happiness. Competing in and finishing the Spartan Race was a challenging yet truly rewarding experience. The fact that I was able to do it together with a group of supportive teammates while being cheered on by my loved ones certainly enhanced my sense of achievement and overall fulfillment, almost like compounded interest in the form of added meaning and happiness. SuzannPileggi Pawelski is a freelance writer based in Philadelphia and a contributing editor to Live Happy.

Lifestyle

Jewel: Pieces of Her

Jewel’s childhood was spent in the wilderness of Homer, Alaska. The singer/songwriter spent much of her teens traveling along the west coast, playing music to survive. Her career began to take shape in San Diego in the 1990s, while she was living in her van. Now, two decades later, the multi-platinum megastar has enjoyed years of well-earned success, the adoration of millions, and an amazing life story to share. This past fall, she released two of her most personal works yet: her back-to-her-roots album “Picking Up The Pieces” (featuring a can’t-miss duet with Live Happy cover girl Dolly Parton) and her long-awaited memoir, Never Broken. We spoke to Jewel about her ups, her downs, and how her life might inspire others to find their own smile. Live Happy: Was writing your book a way for you to set the record straight on many of the misconceptions about your life that have surfaced over the years? Jewel: I didn't do it so much to set the record straight. I've never really had a chip on my shoulder one way or another. … I did it really because I'm very, very aware of how much people hurt in the world and I think there are things we can do about it. I think people are waiting for permission from other people to live happy lives, and the only people we need permission from is ourselves. Live Happy: Obviously, your life is now somewhat of an open book, literally. Going back to the days when you were out struggling on your own, did you feel more guarded? Jewel: Shame lives in silence and it drowns you. The only antidote to shame is communication, and so I just started saying everything I was afraid of, that I thought was bad about myself. I started writing songs about it and singing in the coffee shops in San Diego, and a very bizarre thing happened. People didn't laugh at me or shun me. I felt peace and they felt peace. They felt the exact same way as I did. Really it was about the empowerment of being able to be honest about who and what you were with all of your flaws and allow yourself to be seen. If you're kidding yourself about what your fears and your shames are, you're not actually going to be able accept change in your life. I think that's a critical thing. I think people should share. I think people should have real debates about what's happened in their lives instead of being shamed and trying to hide it. Live Happy: How has the idea of happiness changed for you as you evolved from upstart artist to successful star? Jewel: I was just as aware when I was a kid that happiness is a learned skill, I think, and that some houses don't nurture happiness. When I moved out at fifteen, I started something called my happiness journal where I was going to figure out how to be happy, but it only makes you examine what happiness means because it's a very blanket statement. … For me I think a lot of times people think happiness is like a continent. They're like, "I found Europe, and I'm never leaving now that I found Europe." It's not like that. It's fleeting, and that's what makes it beautiful. There's nothing constant in our lives, and if you can't accept that you're going to be miserable because you have emotions in the same day that all switch between happiness and anxiety and fear and trepidation and courage. It's the mixed bag that makes us feel alive. I like that; I can handle that. I like noticing when I am happy just doing very simple things. In my book I talk about creating a home for happiness. You have to create an environment for happiness to live in your life. You can't have a disorganized, stressful environment in a home life and expect happiness to come. I really do talk a lot about building the foundation for happiness. Live Happy: When people read your book, will they be surprised by some of the events that made you happy? Jewel: The highest times in my life were always simultaneously the lowest times in my life, that’s a kind of strange thing about me. The heights of my fame were actually some difficult years personally. I think that will really surprise people reading about that. I think my lows, like being homeless, were the most fertile and educational times for me. I still really draw a lot from what I learned to turn my life around. I don't have any bad memories of it, and the main takeaway for me is just that the human spirit can endure a lot and you're not broken. Your soul isn't a teacup that breaks. You're intact, and it's really learning how to let go of the wounds and the damage that's happened to you, but it doesn't break you. It's more like an archaeological dig back to yourself. I really don't believe you're broken. I hope a lot of different survivors would read the book and agree. Gerry Strauss is a journalist specializing in entertainment and pop-culture features. He has interviewed everyone from actress Mayim Bialik to pro wrestler Paul “Triple H” Levesque.

Lifestyle

Leaders Make Moves Toward Mindfulness

Peace talks resumed in our nation’s capital recently, but this time the discussions didn’t involve foreign diplomats trying to sort out their differences. Instead, nearly 800 leaders in business, government and education gathered for second annual Mindful Leadership Summit, focused on how to use the latest mindfulness practices to create better working and social environments. A new kind of leadership summit “We're feeling overjoyed about the summit,” says co-founder Mo Edjlali. “It was such a wonderful opportunity for people from around the country, and in some cases around the world, to come together to explore what mindful leadership really means, and to learn more about how to bring mindfulness and compassion into organizations.” According to Mo, one of the highlights of the weekend was the talk with Greg Fischer, the Louisville, Kentucky, mayor who wants his city to become known for its compassion. According to Greg, more than 100 compassion-based programs and groups in Louisville serve local schools, jails and even animal control. This past year, the mayor said, 165,000 people participated in a week of service, and people who serve as mentors are given two paid hours a week to work with at-risk youth. “Compassion should be a part of everything we do,” Greg says. He told the crowd that “we have to do good things with the time we have.” Read more: 31 Days of Compassion Mindfulness and corporate culture Business leaders including Harvard Business School professor and former CEO of Medtronic Bill George, Patagonia outdoor clothing company CEO Rose Marcario and SAP’s Director of Mindfulness Programs Peter Bostelmann all explained how mindfulness has benefited their respective corporate cultures at an employee level as well as the executive level. Bill, author of Discover Your True North, has been practicing mindfulness for more than 30 years. He has held leadership positions at Honeywell and Litton Industries and served on boards of industry giants ExxonMobil and Goldman Sachs. He told the receptive crowd that in order to succeed in leadership, you need more than just passion, but courage and compassion as well. “You cannot be a good leader unless you are a good human being,” he says, and, in his opinion, most leaders fail when they don’t have heart. The panelists did point out that introducing mindfulness practices into the workforce is sometimes met with trepidation because of a lack of understanding and role models or influencers to show the positive effects. Companies with programs in place like SAP, one of the largest business software companies in the world, do see a boost in productivity because of an increase in focus and employees setting healthy boundaries between work and home reducing stress levels. Kelley McCabe Ruff of eMindful, an evidence-based provider of mindfulness programs for companies such as Aetna, Humana and NextEra Energy, explained the return on investment for companies included lower employee healthcare costs and less absenteeism from stress and illness. Now in its second year, Mo and summit co-founder Eric Forbis have seen attendance almost double and recently announced plans for another gathering, Mindful Life, in May of next year, which will feature Tara Brach, Dr. Dan Siegel and best-selling author Sharon Salzberg. Read more: Give Yourself a Mindfulness Makeover Chris Libby is the Section Editor at Live Happy.

Shawn Achor's tips for being happy during the holidays.

Practice

3 Secrets to Happiness This Holiday Season

Expectations and stress seem to increase over the holidays, especially in the weeks leading up to them. We need to make the perfect meals, wear the perfect clothes and, of course, get the perfect gifts. But while it is easy to fall into the trap of striving for perfection, true happiness comes from some surprising places that are wonderfully imperfect. These never-talked-about holiday strategies for happiness are based on the research from our books BroadcastingHappiness and Before Happiness, and we have even tested them in our home. They can help you de-stress and keep your priorities in order so you’re not only happier this holiday season but better at spreading that joy, too.1. Eat a whole pumpkin pieWe are planning on eating a whole pumpkin pie each over the holidays. When writing your to-do list, include items you may have already accomplished or are guaranteed to tackle. If you know you are definitely going to eat a whole pie or stock the wine fridge ahead of a big celebration at your house, put those on your list as items to check off.As featured in Before Happiness, making a to-do list that includes easy wins becomes motivational fuel for your brain. A series of studies from the Columbia University Graduate School of Business found that if the brain perceives it is closer to the finish line, it works harder and faster, which makes you better prepared to accomplish more.2. Make 'em cryMake a list of family and friends you’d like to bring to tears, and then each day write one person a handwritten note to make it happen. Taking just five minutes, tell them why you are grateful for them and how they have made your life happier over the past year. Be specific. This is the perfect way to meaningfully touch their hearts and spread love to those you care about most. Additionally, this dose of conscious gratitude is good for you. A study at the University of Pennsylvania found that writing a gratitude letter and delivering it in person caused the giver’s happiness levels to jump dramatically and last for up to a month.3. Get Santa's greatest hitsSanta doesn’t reinvent the wheel each year. He has his greatest hits and sticks with them. In order to make this year’s holiday prep easier on you, ask yourself what you did last year that went really well, and build upon those successes. If your eggnog recipe was the rage, stick with it. If you found gift bags easier and prettier than wrapping presents with paper, go with what you know. Understanding our strengths and how to leverage them is central to positive psychology. It’s the key to achieving more in less time with less work. For instance, your zest can bring out others’ excitement and sense of fun, while your perseverance allows you to stay focused while preparing a complicated dish.Since people love traditions, they will come to know what they can expect from you each year. (Another eggnog, please!) From our family to yours, we wish you very happy holidays.Read more by Shawn and Michelle: Give HappySHAWN ACHOR is the New York Timesbest-selling author ofThe Happiness AdvantageandBefore Happiness. After he spent 12 years at Harvard University, Shawn traveled to more than 50 countries,bringing positive psychology to schools and companies. He is co-founder of the happiness research and consulting groupGoodthink Inc.MICHELLE GIELAN is an expert on the science of positive communication and how to use it to fuel success. She holds a master’s degree in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, and is co-founder of the happiness research and consulting groupGoodthink Inc.Her first book is calledBroadcasting Happiness.

Practice

How to Find Happiness as a Single Parent

Being a single parent can be one of the most exhausting yet joyful experiences a person could have. You are burdened with the same challenges as a two-parent family—but you’re doing it alone! You get to do all of the work, yes. However, you also reap most of the rewards. I am a single parent, and I have often been asked how I can remain so happy and energetic while juggling two children, work, and all of the responsibilities of a household. The truth is that I have always felt empowered by being a single mother. I’ve gained strength from knowing that I’m in control of the bulk of the decisions in my life and my children's lives. I have also found great joy in immersing myself in activities with my children and have appreciated the chance to share those moments with them. A study published in the Journal of Happiness confirmed exactly what it is that I have been feeling, stating that single parents are just as happy as their married counterparts in spite of the fact that they have more challenging circumstances. Very few of us plan to raise our children alone. Part of the challenge is the adjustment of going from a co-parenting household to shouldering the responsibilities on our own. The way most seem to handle it is by putting our own wants and needs aside and immersing ourselves in our children. While this seems altruistic, if you deprive yourself of the self-care and nurturing you need as an individual, it will eventually have a negative effect on the family as a whole. Read more: Why Self-Care Isn't Selfish Nurture yourself Our well-being as individuals has a huge impact on our ability to be a truly focused and motivated parent, because when we don’t take care of ourselves we wind up burnt out and depleted. After raising my kids as a single parent through most of their school years, I have a lot of reasons to be happy. My kids bring me great joy, and I have a lot of pride and pleasure about how well we have managed and thrived as a family. That said, there were definitely struggles and times when I felt angry, sad and even scared. Throughout the process, I have leaned on certain tools and ideas to help lift my spirits and get me back on track. 1.Get rest To start, you need to make sure to carve out time to rest. Try to eat nutritious meals when you can and make sure you drink lots of water during the day—as a single parent, you have to treat yourself almost like an endurance athlete! Once the kids go to sleep, curl up with a good book, indulge in your favorite TV show or escape into a warm bath—whatever you do, don’t waste that precious downtime! Every so often, ask a friend or family member (or your ex-spouse, if possible) to watch the kids so you can have some time alone. 2.Build relationships As a single parent, you often need to rely on the kindness and assistance of others. Pull in those people that you know that you can count on and ask them for help as needed. One of the best things you can do as a single parent is build relationships with other single parents so you can help each other. I had a friend who is also a single mom, and we took turns occasionally watching each other's kids so that the other could have a break. We also took the kids out together so that we could have another set of adult eyes and hands around. Our kids had fun, we had companionship and we knew we could rely on each other. Read more: 10 Ways to Build Community 3.Set goals and prioritize It is much easier to accomplish a lot of tasks and to keep from feeling completely overwhelmed by it all if you’re organized. Make lists, keep a master calendar, establish plans and constantly evaluate your goals and priorities. If you need help in this area, ask people you know or professionals for guidance. 4.Enlist the help of your kids Have your kids help you with age-appropriate chores. If they can wash a dish, assign them that task. If they’re too young, they can clear the dishes from the table. Teach your children that they are important and responsible members of a family. Chores are one way they can do their part. 5.Find positivity during tough times Sometimes the schedule is hectic, the kids are screaming and you’re past your limit. In those moments our minds start saying, “I can’t do this,” “My life is too hard.” I know it’s hard, but see if you can flip the emotional switch and think of something positive: that you are in good health, that you manage to pay your bills each month or that you have the kindest next-door neighbor. When the kids themselves are driving you crazy, focus on the positives about them: They’re great at math, they gave you a thoughtful birthday gift or they make you smile when they smile. After all, they are the reason we work so hard—and the source of our greatest happiness. Read more: Parents: The First Role Models Stacy Kaiseris a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book,How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, and an editor-at-large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such asToday,Good Morning America and The Steve Harvey Show.

relationships

Family Stories Do More Than Weave Us Together

At my parents’ house, where I still end up every holiday, the table is always set with the same tablecloth. My mother serves dinner on the same china each year. And we eat the same dishes my maternal grandma, Ursuline, used to make. She was known for cramming maximum fat content into vegetable dishes, which someone always mentions as we push back from the table with full bellies. Then we begin to tell stories about Ursuline; how smart she was and, as a young woman raising her little brother in the Depression, how tough. We talk about my great-grandfather Earl, who got paid in chickens when he started his legal practice. We tell the story of how my Uncle Tom proposed to Aunt Camille over a pay phone because he couldn’t bear to be without her another second. The stories that define us Those stories define our family, and every family has its own version. People tell these intergenerational stories universally across cultures, says family narrative expert Robyn Fivush at Emory University. “For positive events, it’s very much about sharing positive emotion and creating a positive family history. For stressful or negative events, we tell these stories to help children understand and to help them process their emotions,” Robyn says. Shaping identity Family stories help small children develop their sense of self and their own story-telling powers. But surprisingly it’s in teenagers where Robyn has found profound effects of family stories on well-being, behavior and developing their own adult identities. “In adolescence these stories really seem to be roadmaps that teens can use to understand that they’re not alone in the world,” Robyn says. Often teens and tweens are mapping their parents’ experiences onto their own. Teens who can better recall stories from their parents and grandparents show less anxiety and depression and behavior problems. They also have a higher sense of confidence, self-esteem and say they feel more purpose in life. A teen who knows the story of her mother’s difficult high school teacher or bad breakup might, explicitly or implicitly, draw on those stories to help her navigate her own trouble. Read more: Teen Angst or Teen Anguish? Stories weaving together generations Intergenerational stories help convey the values of the family to children. They also illustrate how parents and grandparents have their own identities in the world outside of the family, and how one day the teen will, too. Family stories help adolescents bridge identity crises that can happen when teens and young adults start to think about the kinds of people they want to become and begin setting goals and visions for their own adult lives. Robyn says families shouldn’t force intergenerational stories into their dialogues because that’s likely not to work—especially with teens. But infusing them into a normal conversation you’re already having does work. “If your child is telling you about a problem at school or with their best friend or on a sports team, you can say, ‘You know, that’s just like what happened to me.’” Read more: Family Strong And there are benefits for storytellers, too. Other research shows that parents and grandparents who tell tales of their own lives, especially those that reinforce the theme of resilience, are happier and have higher life satisfaction. This might be because happier adults are more likely to share stories or telling the stories themselves causes a happiness bump. Either way, "a family pattern of interaction around storytelling is a great way to understand each other,” Robyn says. Meredith Knight is a science writer based in Austin, Texas.

Self-Care

10 Questions That Will Change Your Life

When we think about something that has the power to change our lives, we usually think big: a new job, a move across country, a relationship beginning or ending. Sometimes something small but meaningful can change the trajectory of our lives, such as a powerful book, a movie or even a gift.It may be surprising, but even a question—complex, pointed, and mulled over with care—can change the direction of your life. Take a look at the 10 questions below and see if one or two of them resonate with you.1. Am I really happy right now?We have a tendency to put our happiness on hold by telling ourselves, “When I get married I will be happy,” or, “When I graduate, I will be happy,” when we could permit ourselves to be happy now and enjoy each day, says Dr. Srikumar Rao, author of Happiness At Work and head of The Rao Institute. As a second part to this question, he suggests asking yourself: What is keeping me from being happy at this instant?2. If I had all the money in the world, how would I spend my time?Having to pay for rent and groceries (and those pesky bills) can cloud what’s truly calling to you. Take away financial concerns, and you can think more clearly about what is truly meaningful and important in your life. Yes, you still may need to keep your job, but your answer might lead you to start a side business, take up a new hobby or shift how you spend your time.3. What do I want my legacy to be? When we get caught up in the minutiae of day-to-day life, it’s easy to forget the big picture. How do you want to be remembered? What impact do you want to have with your life? It might sound grim, but picturing what you want people to say during your eulogy can really wake you up to how want to live today.4. How is my story holding me back?We are defined by the stories we tell ourselves. Are you letting yourself be defined by a negative narrative? We can choose to focus on the stories that empower us, and see ourselves and our strengths—rather than our past or even our genetics—as the determining factors in our future success.5. When should I say “no”?If you don’t say “no” when you want to, it can leave you no time to say “yes” to all those things you really want to do. If you say “yes” when that’s not how you really feel, you set yourself up for frustration and resentment. Saying "no" can actually be a kind act—for yourself and your well-being.6. What is a recurring problem in my life and how can I solve it?Sometimes we can get stuck—whether in the midst of a bad relationship, financial woes, weight gain or another personal challenge. Your recurring problem can derail you from striving toward your full potential because it keeps you distracted. Go after your recurring problem with focus and a solution-mindset to solve it once and for all. New opportunities arise when we get unstuck.7. What did I love to do as a child?When we are kids, we are truly ourselves. When we become adults with lots of responsibility, we tend to forget what we truly love. Think back to your happiest moments as a kid. What did you love the most? How can you do those things as an adult? Getting in touch with your childhood joys can change your career path or enhance how you spend your recreational time.8. How can I turn regret into motivation? If you are lucky enough to get lots of opportunity in life, then you also have lots of opportunity to regret things. "Turn any regrets into motivation," says Darlene Mininni, author of The Emotional Toolkit. “The key is remembering you did the best you could with the information you had at the time. It’s easy to judge yourself after the fact,” she says. “Let experience become your teacher and take your big, fat insight and make it a catalyst for change.”Read more by Darlene Mininni9. What are my top five strengths? Make a list of your top five strengths—those things you are good at and enjoy. When you align your life to use more of your strengths, you minimize anxiety and depression, and you can improve your mood and relationships with others, says Michelle McQuaid, author of Your Strengths Blueprint.Read more by Michelle McQuaid10. How can I look at life through a lens of gratitude? You can choose to view everything with a positive, gratitude-based lens and that will boost your mood. Facing adversity? Look for the bright side or ask yourself what you can learn. Trying to kick a bad mood? Jot down all that you feel grateful for in this moment. Nudge yourself to return to gratitude by asking if this (bad mood, irritation, challenge) will matter a year from now.Read more about gratitude.Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.

Lifestyle

Lori Loughlin Leads With Her Heart

Lori Loughlin’s wholesome on-screen persona is more than just a role she plays. A fan favorite on the ’90s hit sitcom Full House—still popular in reruns today—the wife and mom of three is just as comfortable making dinner and cleaning clutter from her closets as she is starring in her Hallmark Channel series When Calls the Heart and as a leading lady in television movies like Northpole 2. (Look for her on spinoff Fuller House on Netflix in 2016.) Happy at the core “I’m a happy person at my core, and I’ve always tried to surround myself with people who make me laugh,” Lori says. “My husband makes me smile, giggle and laugh out loud. As a result of seeing us laugh and genuinely enjoy each other, we’ve raised happy kids, who have what I hope is a positive and realistic outlook.” Lori says she’s been blessed with a happy, healthy family and a successful career. But that doesn’t mean every day is sunshine and roses. When things get rough or don’t go exactly the way she wants, she takes a timeout. “I tend to see a glass half-full. So I step back to take a deep breath and try to focus on all the positives in my life.” Her grandmother’s remedy also helps. “It sounds so cliché, but I really love to rely on my grandmother’s answer for everything: Have a nice cup of tea,” she says. “There’s nothing like taking 10 minutes to separate yourself from the noise and quiet your mind. Every woman deserves to give herself that break now and then.” Just keep talking To guide her kids, Lori has stepped into a familiar role. “I use the same technique as my mom. She just kept talking to us,” she says. “As a teen, I was completely annoyed and thought, ‘Yeah sure,’ when she would talk about the same things over and over, sometimes in different ways. Now as a parent I can see she was totally right to never let there be radio silence when it comes to the important issues as well as staying connected.” Even if her own kids roll their eyes or seem uninterested, Lori doesn’t stop talking. “I don’t talk at them; I talk to them. Even if I’m white noise, just like my mom occasionally was with me, at least I know even a little bit is getting through.” Since family is her No. 1 priority, the secret to her professional success is choosing projects her children and their friends can watch. “I certainly don’t judge anyone who makes a different decision, but for me, happiness at work has come from taking roles I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to have my kids or my parents see,” Lori says. “Staying true to my heart has been what’s comfortable and what fits for me.” Managing a full house Household must-have: Furry friends. “We have a golden retriever, Bianca. We used to have two but lost one last year to cancer. I love my furry girl so much, she brings me—the whole family—so much joy. I’ve always had dogs and don’t know how I would exist in a household without pets.” Toughest parenting challenge: Social media. “When I was a kid if someone passed a note that was derogatory, it could be destroyed. It’s not like that for kids today. It’s a hard lesson for kids to learn—and for parents to watch—that anything you text, tweet or post on the Internet is permanent, and those mistakes and messages last forever.” A full heart: “I don’t think any of us ever dreamed Full House would have such staying power and tremendously loyal fans. It’s fun to be walking down the street and have a 7-year-old come up to me and call me ‘Becky.’ There is a whole new generation of viewers, and I’m truly blessed to have been part of that show.” Read more: Balancing a Full House Gina Roberts-Grey is an award-winning writer based in upstate New York.

Self-Care

5 Ways to Cope With a Terrible Day

Have you ever had one of those days when absolutely everything seems to be going wrong? If you’re human, you’re probably nodding your head or responding to the screen with a resounding, “Yes!” We’ve all had the mornings when traffic is at a standstill, the nights when you come home after a long day and find yourself in a fight with your partner, the days when you feel under-appreciated, aggravated, upset and physically drained at the end of the day. On these days, it’s tempting to host your own personal pity party. But instead, we see it as an opportunity to put into practice some of the amazing skills and tools we’ve been learning about choosing happiness and turning negative thinking around—if not into a cheery mood—at least into a neutral, rational one. 1. Focus on your strengths. One of the best things we can all do is focus on our strengths rather than deficits. In the midst of a bad day, you’re probably not thinking about all of the skills, talents, and positive traits you possess, but honing in on these can be an excellent way to elevate your mood and focus more on what’s positive in your life. Want to identify some of your strengths? Check out the VIA Survey of Character Strengths. Knowing your strengths and possibly putting them to use will help you feel more empowered—even in the midst of a terrible day. 2. Embrace gratitude We say this a lot, and that’s because gratitude is a powerful tool for rerouting your mood. Instead of focusing on what’s going wrong or what you lack, focus on what you have in your life and what’s going right. Studies have shown that those who consistently practice gratitude experience more positive emotions, more pleasure and more happiness. Say thank you to those around you, write a thank you note or make a list of what’s going right in your life. 3. Make a positive connection When you’re having a bad day, it might feel tempting to withdraw from the world and avoid interacting with others, but one of the best things you can do for yourself is connect with other people. Spending time with those you love—particularly those who are positive influences on your life—can provide a great mood boost. So when you’re struggling with a bad day, make a plan to meet a friend for coffee, go out on an impromptu date with your partner or take a break from work to chat with a favorite colleague in the break room. 4. Take a break from social media On a tough day, it can be helpful to limit time spent on social media. When you look at sites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, you’ll typically only see the best versions of people sharing their happiest moments. When you’re having a really hard day, these images can make you feel even worse. Take a time out from social media and you’ll cut down a bit on your FOMO feelings. 5. Get physical When your mind is racing with all the negativity, one of the best ways to get out of the rumination cycle is to do something physical. Get back in touch with the present by practicing yoga, going for a run … the possibilities are endless. If you don’t have time (or energy) for exercise, try a simple walk around the block to clear your mind. Focusing on something physical can be a great way to bring you out of a cycle of negative thinking and it will give you a boost of positivity on a really tough day. Dani DiPirro is an author, blogger, and designer living in a suburb of Washington, D.C. In 2009, she launched the websitePositivelyPresent.comwith the intention of sharing her insights about living a positive and present life. Dani is the author ofStay Positive,The Positively Present Guide to Life, and a variety ofe-books. She is also the founder of Twenty3, a design studio focused on promoting positive, modern graphic design and illustration.

Lifestyle

Take a Peek Inside Our December Issue!

Hello, Dolly! Dolly Parton does everything with joy and gratitude, from singing on-stage at the Grand Ole Opry to celebrating the holidays at home with her extended family. Meet the real Dolly—the one who grew up the fourth of 12 children under tough circumstances but always knew she was loved and blessed. She has a new television show being made of her early life, and she couldn’t be more pleased. The Gift that Changed My Life We all love giving and getting a gift. But have you ever received a gift that actually changed your life? As the holiday season approaches, nine individuals (some well-known, others just regular folks) reflect on gifts that did more than lift their spirits or decorate their homes—they actually changed their futures. Wrap it Up! Speaking of gifts, every year we all spend hours scouring our brains trying to figure out what to get Aunt Linda or Dave at the office. We’ve got you covered this time with a special section of adorable, happy gifts for under $15 and another two pages of gifts under $30. You will find something for everyone—from your UPS guy to hard-to-please Cousin Louise! Much more Forgive to Flourish Why you may need to bury the hatchet—even for grievous wrongs—for the sake of your own physical and emotional health. Building on Friendship Learn about a heartwarming and selfless act of friendship that occurs when one woman finds she is in need of help. Holiday Cookies with a Healthy Twist Who says cookies have to be a guilty indulgence? Try these three recipes that include healthy, mood-boosting ingredients for delicious treats that leave the guilt behind.

The Power of Teamwork

Jewel: Pieces of Her

Leaders Make Moves Toward Mindfulness

3 Secrets to Happiness This Holiday Season

How to Find Happiness as a Single Parent

Family Stories Do More Than Weave Us Together

10 Questions That Will Change Your Life

Lori Loughlin Leads With Her Heart

Take a Peek Inside Our December Issue!

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