You searched for self | Page 86 of 130

Turn Tough Conversations Into Positive Ones

As we wind up Live Happy’s 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, communication expert Michele Gravelle gives us a final cheat sheet for making difficult conversations into healthy, productive ones. We’ve covered a lot of ground these past few weeks, and I trust you’ve been practicing some of the conversational tools that I have gone over with Live Happy contributing editor Susan Kane. For my third and final blog, I’d like to give you three tips for carrying these concepts forward and making them work in your everyday conversations. The goal, of course, is for you to build and grow relationships, both at work and at home. 1. Think of your effect. If you have an important message, feedback or a response that you want to share with someone, first think about how both the information you’re sharing and your delivery will affect the other person. What is your motive? If it is to lash out, retaliate, “set the record straight,” prove a point or show the other person is wrong, then you are not in a good position to have the conversation. Wait until you are genuinely curious about what the other person has to say and then engage in a dialogue. 2. Pause and be curious. Train yourself to pause before you react. Do a mental scan and think about your life as well as the other person’s life. What’s going on? How might your thoughts about the other person leak into your conversation? It takes self-awareness and persistence to change the behaviors that get in the way of a productive, healthy dialogue. 3. Take responsibility for your own behavior. One of the most masterful moves you can make is to take responsibility for the words you say and actions you take. The more self-awareness you demonstrate and the more responsibility you are willing to take for your words and actions, the more you set the stage for a productive, neutral conversation. Remember, what you say and do does one of three things to your relationship: Nurtures it Changes nothing Damages or hurts it Susan and I covered a lot of ground these past few weeks, and I hope that some of what we have shared in our stories will help you in your own conversations and relationships. The more you practice these behaviors, the more they will become part of your natural conversational mojo! Best of luck to all of you! Read Michele's first blog here. Read Michele's second blog here. Listen to Michele on our podcast here. Michele Gravelle is an experienced executive coach, communications expert and consultant with The Triad Consulting Group. She also facilitates executive education programs at the Harvard Negotiation Institute and Duke Corporate Education, and is a contributing author to the book Enlightened Power: How Women Are Transforming the Path to Leadership.

Leave Worry Behind for Good

As we wind up Live Happy’s 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, anxiety expert Karen Cassiday, Ph.D., discusses the tools, practices and behaviors necessary to leave worry behind once and for all. If you’ve been trying out some of the worry-management strategies I’ve recommended, like Kim Baker, the art director at Live Happy whom I have been coaching, you probably feel less pressured, more relaxed and more peaceful than you did 90 days ago. Having the courage to apply worry exposure (repeating your worst thoughts aloud until they no longer bother you); apply mistake exposure (inviting and allowing imperfection); avoid reassurance seeking (asking questions and searching the Internet to get anxiety relief); and counter your body’s alarm reaction by using exercise, meditation or relaxation can go a long way toward managing worry. Small successes Kim says she no longer feels the need to seek reassurance, but like many worriers, she still finds it easy to dip back into the worry zone when something catches her off guard or doesn’t go according to plan. These unexpected or “off-plan” moments provoke uncertainty and go against the perfectionist belief that “It is better to worry and plan everything than to wait and see what surprises life might have in store.” But this focus on making all things go according to plan suppresses spontaneity, which prevents playfulness and joy. It turns any project into a big deal, a series of significant tasks that must be accomplished or else disaster is certain. Struggles with perfectionism For example, Kim was approaching her daughter’s birthday party with the same degree of planning and precision that the White House staff might use for a state dinner. She was intent on finding the best invitations, the best decorations, the best games and the most suitable goody bags. Kim’s worry and perfectionism made her overlook the very simple, real-life problem: What would be fun for 5-year-olds at a birthday party? Singing the birthday song, eating cake and ice cream, drinking soda, running around and being silly—they don’t need much else! Look at the bigger picture Worry also makes the worrier forget that sometimes the best moments in life are the unexpected ones. Think about it: When you remember a special occasion, weren’t the unscripted moments the most touching, the most humorous or the ones that brought everyone closer? The reality is that if we attempt to script our life, we’ll end up squashing our life. Just as I challenged Kim, I challenge you to view unexpected moments as wonderful opportunities for adventure. Those are the times you should be most grateful for because they invite you to be spontaneous, playful and fully present. Read Karen's first blog, 6 Steps to Win the War Against Worry. Read Karen's second blog, Do the Anxiety Detox. Listen to Karen discuss anxiety and worry on our podcast here. A clinical psychologist and nationally recognized expert on the diagnosis and treatment of anxiety, Karen is president of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) and a founding fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. She has appeared on NBC's Today show and other media to discuss anxiety, and she is sought after by newspapers such as the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times for her expertise. Find out more about Karen here.

90 Days to Breakthrough Success

As we wind up Live Happy’s 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, happiness and grit expert Caroline Miller reminds us of what it takes to make goals, stick to them and achieve successes in life. Congratulations on completing the 90-day challenge! By now, if you have been diligent about setting your goals, preparing your environment, assembling your support team, going outside your comfort zone and getting feedback about whether or not your strategy needs tweaking, you’ve accomplished something to be proud of—but now what? How do you ensure that you stay focused, motivated, optimistic and successful? And what do you do if you slide backward? This is a tricky period that you’ll need to navigate effectively if you want to make your new habits stick. It’s not uncommon for people to give up on their goals if they don’t think they’ve been successful enough, if they’ve hit a speed bump or if they’ve become complacent and found that maintaining progress is more difficult than expected. Researchers have even dubbed the third Monday of January “blue Monday” because of the familiar trifecta of depressing scenarios—credit card statements from the holidays, broken New Year’s resolutions and depressing weather. Here are some of tips I’ve found can be helpful in situations like these: Step 1: Know your success map Success leaves clues, so “unpack” the specific steps that helped you achieve your goals. If you slip backward, it will be important to have that “success map” available because there might be something you can easily add back to your formula to regain your footing and confidence. This is also helpful if you’ve unwittingly started doing something that is making it difficult to maintain progress. Step 2: Remove roadblocks One frequent culprit that undermines ongoing success is alcohol, which self-regulation researcher Roy Baumeister, Ph.D., has said is the No. 1 deterrent to all goal accomplishment because it removes the ability to delay gratification or use good judgment under stress. Other roadblocks can be negative people, time-sucks like Internet surfing and email, and visual prompts that undermine motivation. Step 3: Pursue consistency, not perfection Unexpected disruptions to your schedule, including travel, holidays and new relationships, can also set you back. When these types of scenarios throw you offtrack, guard against the “What the hell?” effect. Psychologists have found that if we decide we’ve blown our resolution or goal commitment for any reason, we need to get back to our routine as quickly as possible. If we just give up and say, “What the hell? I’ll just eat the whole box of Twinkies,” we lose the opportunity to learn that long-term consistency, not short-term perfection, is how we create and maintain positive habits. Chris ran into the buzz saw of the holidays just as he was making internal and external commitments to up his running, but instead of seeing the setbacks as signs that he didn’t have what it takes to remain committed to his goal, we added some steps to his routine that made it more likely that he’d bounce back as soon as his schedule became routine and predictable again. Step 4: Review your steps Carlo C. DiClemente, Ph.D., and J. O. Prochaska’s, Ph.D., “stages of change” research shows that rushing through the goal formation and goal pursuit process can result in short-term success that quickly goes backward. The only course correction is to go back and assess whether or not you spent enough time preparing for action, for example, as opposed to rushing into action. Did you find enough people to take your morning carpool shift before committing to joining a rowing team, or did you just assume it would work out on its own? Once you ensure that every step of your plan is thoroughly researched and put into place, you are more likely to make continuous, positive progress. Step 5: Disengage, don’t quit There’s a fine line between quitting your goals and redirecting your energies, but sometimes quitting is the smartest option. This is called “disengaging from unworkable goals,” and it’s the right choice when something in your environment has changed decisively and pursuing your goal no longer makes sense. For example, if your spouse lost her job just as you were about to return to school, it probably makes more sense to re-establish financial footing and then return to your goal of getting a master’s degree. People who push to the finish line without taking new data into account are like mountaineers with “summit fever” who refuse to acknowledge an impending blizzard and continue to push to the mountaintop at their peril. Don’t be that person. Step 6: Keep it up Finally, one of the surest ways to continue to be positive and proactive is to set fresh goals once you achieve your initial goal. Don’t just rest on your laurels and hope that life will continue to be satisfying and meaningful. Flourishing high-achievers usually set harder goals upon reaching other successes, so see these 90 days as the start of a beautiful relationship with yourself and your best-possible life! Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP, is a professional coach, author, speaker and educator. Her book, Creating Your Best Life, is the first evidence-based book to connect the science of happiness with the science of goal-setting. Caroline gave an acclaimed TEDx talk on grit in 2014, a topic she will cover in her upcoming book, Authentic Grit.

Confessions of an Email Addict

As part of Live Happy’s 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, join managing editor Donna Stokes for part two of her blog series as she succeeds (for the most part) in her attempts to unplug from work email. Once I started focusing on not checking email outside of work, I realized what a junkie I really am. I’d catch my arm twitching toward my phone or laptop almost reflexively at the oddest times—during commercials while watching my favorite TV shows, at stoplights driving to work (yes, still!), after paying online bills or calling family or friends. Even at work, I had to stick a piece of Post-It note over the Outlook email icon to stop the distraction of those tiny numbers ticking upward. Wow, that variable ratio reward compulsion [[find link]] my coach Christine Carter talked about is certainly real. Accountability works Yet what better way to ensure accountability than having all of my work colleagues and my husband in on my challenge? If I return an email outside work hours, I get responses like “I’m going to tell your coach,” or “Shut it down now!” If I pull out my phone in the car or at a meal, my husband, Jim, will ask, “You’re not checking work email are you?” If Live Happy magazine can’t learn to unplug from work, how can you expect others to? Christine’s question during one of our weekly sessions put the importance of this process in perspective for me. Midway through our challenge and suddenly the heat is on! Stick to the schedule Christine and I were going over obstacles, particularly my Number 1 hurdle of email overload, and I had just confessed to cheating now and then, answering emails during my work focus time—or outside regular hours—when they were from my boss or our remote creative director with whom I work very closely or from a colleague who needed a quick editing turnaround. As final production deadlines neared, the importance (in my mind) of quick responses overwhelmed my willpower to stick to the schedule Christine had suggested in our first call. I’m listing it below, as for me it has been life-changing when I am able to stick to it. The schedule: 9 a.m.: No work email in the mornings until I get into the office, where I have an hour and a half to work on clearing out the inbox. 10:30 to 11:00 a.m.: Short walk or break from the computer without a phone. 11 a.m. to noon: Focus time to complete a “think” task like writing or editing. Noon to 12:20 p.m.: Lunch break away from a computer of phone, all the better if it can be spent catching up with co-workers or reading for pleasure. 12:30 to 1 p.m.: Second of three allotted times to check and respond to email during the day. 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.: Focus time for completing scheduled items on my to-do list. 4 p.m. to 7 p.m.: Third daily opportunity to respond to and sort email and to zero out my Inbox and finish up with the day’s to-do list. Amid the obstacles I have also found amazing early success. My once disastrous mornings are transformed. I’ve replaced reading work emails while eating cereal with reading The New York Times on my tablet and sometimes even allowing myself to complete the mini-crossword of the day while savoring coffee or tea. I get in a few minutes of exercise, like situps, squats, pushups or jumping jacks before getting dressed and heading to work with an uncluttered mind and less stress. What are your unplugging challenges and successes? Share them here or email us at editor@livehappy.com. Read coach Christine Carter's blog, 6 Steps to Unplug From Work here. Read Donna's first blog here. Donna Stokes is Live Happy's managing editor.

5 Ways to Stay Engaged and Keep Email at Bay

As we continue with Live Happy’s 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, happiness expert Christine Carter, Ph.D., explains how we can stay unplugged from work once we have begun the habit. We all understand that when we first attempt to drive a car or ride a bike, we’ll make mistakes. Behavior change is no different; it’s a process of slipping, learning from the mistake, and trying again.”―John C. Norcross, Changeology Unless you are some sort of superhero, you will not be able to cure yourself of your email-checking addiction perfectly the first time. Research indicates that 88 percent of people fail to keep a new resolution; in my experience as a human being and a coach, 100 percent of people trying to radically reduce their screen time lapse in their attempt. So what to do if you’re struggling? 1. Don’t get too emotional about your slip or succumb to self-criticism. Instead, forgive yourself. Remind yourself that lapses are part of the process, and that feeling guilty or bad about your behavior will not increase your future success. 2. Figure out what the problem is. This may be blazingly obvious, but in order to do better tomorrow, you’ll need to know what is causing your trip-ups. What temptation can you remove? Were you stressed or tired or hungry—and if so, how can you prevent that the next time? Figure it out, and make a specific plan for what to do if you find yourself in a similar situation again. What will you do differently? What have you learned from your slip? For Donna Stokes, managing editor at Live Happy, who was still tempted to fill every moment with “productivity”—especially in the car at long stoplights or in line at the drive-through—I advised she keep her phone out of reach in the trunk of her car. 3. Beware the “What the hell” effect. Say you’ve sworn not to check your email before breakfast, but you’ve been online since your alarm went off...three hours ago. You’re now at risk for what researchers formally call the Abstinence Violation Effect (AVE) and jokingly call the “what the hell effect.” If you’ve already blown your plan today, why not go hog wild? What the hell—you can begin again tomorrow, right? Wrong. The more damage you do during your technology binge, the more likely you are to slip again the next day, and the less confidence you’ll have in yourself that you can change. So as soon as you notice you’ve slipped, go back to your plan. Double down, friends, double down. 4. Rededicate yourself to your resolution (now, in this instant, not tomorrow). Why do you want to make the changes that you do? How will you benefit? Do a little deep breathing and calm contemplation of your goals. If it is occasionally necessary for work to spill over into private time, I advise clients like Donna to plan a specific hour or two for that purpose and not to worry about it the rest of the weekend or evening. 5. Above all, comfort yourself on the way to your goal. To boost follow-through on our good intentions, we need to feel safe and secure. When we are stressed, our brain tries to rescue us by activating our dopamine systems. A dopamine rush makes temptations more tempting. Think of this as your brain pushing you toward a comfort item....like the snooze button instead of the morning jog, onion rings instead of mixed greens, or that easy taxi to work rather than the less-than-comfortable urban bike ride. So sometimes the best thing that we can do to help ourselves unplug is to preemptively comfort ourselves in healthy ways before our brain takes matters into its own hands. What makes you feel safe and secure—and doesn’t sabotage your goals? Perhaps you need to seek out a hug or take a walk outside in order to keep to your goals and refrain from checking emails. Read Christine's first blog, 6 Steps to Unplug From Work here. To see Christine's recommendations in action, read coaching "subject" Donna Stokes' 2nd blog here. Want more? Listen to Christine on our podcast as she explains how to unplug from work, here. Christine Carter, Ph.D., is a sociologist and senior fellow at University of California, Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center. She is a sought-after coach and speaker, and author of The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work.

Practice

33 Ideas on Happiness

The International Day of Happiness on March 20 is an annual reminder that being happy is important. We here at Live Happy are dedicated to bringing happiness to your life every day of the year. Here are 33 ideas to spark joy for months to come. 1. What are your go-to Happy Acts? Identify and do them! 2. Read The Dalai Lama’s Big Book of Happiness: How to Live in Freedom, Compassion, and Love by the Dalai Lama. 3. Savor the moment. 4. “You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren’t happy in one place, chances are you won’t be happy anyplace.” —Ernie Banks 5. Discover your strengths at viacharacter.org. 6. Watch He Named Me Malala. 7. Be a Big Brother or Big Sister. 8. Listen to “Lifted Up (1985)” by Passion Pit. 9. Be inspirational. 10. Read Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert. 11. Get in the flow. 12. “Happiness is a continuation of happenings which are not resisted.” —Deepak Chopra 13. Take 10 minutes to clear your mind. 14. Watch CNN’s The Wonder List. 15. Read 10 pages from a good book today. 16. Listen to “Great Big Storm” by Nate Ruess. 17. Prepare your favorite recipe. 18. Read Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person by Shonda Rimes. 19. “Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness.” —Richard Bach 20. Find a Netflix/Showtime/PBS/HBO series you’re crazy about and go on a weekend binge. 21. Watch Oprah Winfrey Presents Belief. 22. “Loving-kindness and compassion are the basis for wise, powerful…actions that can really make a difference—in our own lives and those of others.” —Sharon Salzberg 23. Like Katharine Hepburn, eat a little bit of very good chocolate (try Belgian) every single day. 24. Read Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling. 25. Listen to “Can’t Hold Us” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. 26. Take Shawn Achor’s new online course “21 Days to a Happier Life.” 27. Read Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man’s Fundamentals for Delicious Living by Nick Offerman. 28. “I’ve come to believe that seeking happiness is not a frivolous pursuit. It’s honorable and necessary. And most people forget to even think about it.” —Goldie Hawn 29. Listen to “Mr. Wendal” by Arrested Development. 30. Read Operation Happiness: The 3-Step Plan to Creating a Life of Lasting Joy, Abundant Energy, and Radical Bliss by Kristi Ling. 31. “Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” —John Lennon 32. Listen to “Remedy” by Adele. 33. Come back in April for our 33 ideas on positive parenting.

Lifestyle

Kristen Bell’s Happy Juggling Act

The following excerpt is from a feature article in the April 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine. To read the full story on Kristen Bell, pick up the magazine at a newsstand or grocery store near you. Kristen Bell relies on these tips to maintain a positive personal life: Surround yourself with happiness “Our best friends are very happy people, and I look forward to sharing time with them,” Kristen says. “I look up to them and how they handle themselves because they’re truly happy. That’s so nice to be around because some people aren’t innately happy.” Use positive words Kristen looks to inspirational quotes when her positivity wavers or she’s feeling unsure. “Imagine being in the brain of the people who said them,” she says. One of her favorites is from Eleanor Roosevelt. “I love the saying, ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’ because there’s a lot of responsibility in that. All happiness lies in self-esteem and self-esteem lies in responsibility. I promote responsibility, and I enjoy people who promote it, too.” Make your own traditions Work commitments that include traveling make it tough for Kristen’s family to commit to consistent family dinners or events. So they’ve started the tradition of eating anything—and everything—together to bond. “We have at least five meals together as a family a week. One may be lunch and two, dinner, but we stick to having some sort of meal together to stay connected and grounded.” Quiet down To recharge her emotional and mental batteries, Kristen powers down her mind. “Meditation makes me feel more rested than a full night’s sleep. I do transcendental meditation a couple times a week and have a mantra that I repeat in a still, calm position. I really enjoy powering down for 20 minutes because it’s like shutting off light switches in my brain. I should make more time for it, but meditating even a couple times a week makes a big difference in my stress and happiness levels.” Move around Kristen and her family are often seen biking around Los Angeles. “We do that for pleasure, fitness and the environment. We love to be out of the car, and luckily, there are a lot of restaurants we can bike to for dinner. You feel a little better about dessert if you moved a bit to get to it!” Stand by your choices Self-confidence routinely buoys Kristen's outlook. “The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them. My self-esteem can only come from me, not outside sources. Understanding that was my road to finding a peaceful, happy lifestyle. Gina Roberts-Grey is an award-winning writer whose work has appeared in Family Circle, Self and Essence.

Podcast

The Science of Savoring with Paula Felps

Paula Felps is the science editor for Live Happy magazine and has worked as a freelance writer and editor since 1998, covering topics from health and fitness to luxury cars and travel to business and technology. She has written for publications and websites such as Executive Travel, American Driver, Self and Reserve. In this episode, Live Happy co-founder and Editorial Director Deborah K. Heisz talks with Paula about the science of savoring and shares a glimpse into the new April 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine. What you'll learn in this podcast: The definition of savoring How to improve your happiness with the practice of savoring The power of positive emotions Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Pre-order a copy of Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy Thank you to our partner—AARP Life Reimagined!

Podcast

A Lesson in Knife Skills—and Mindfulness

When Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D., co-founder of Los Angeles’ TheCenter for Mindful Living, told me about an upcoming class called “Cooking with Compassion” that promised to teach all levels of home cooks how to slice, dice, chop and chiffonade with ease, I signed up right away. The class description promised to combine technique with mindfulness: “the complete experience of cooking … igniting our senses and bringing the power of the present moment into the process.” The class was led by Meredith Klein, a private chef and meditation teacher. Meredith had been pursuing a doctorate in sociology in 2007 when she attended the Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert. There, she experienced a kind of (get ready for the cliché) spiritual awakening that made her decide to “be open to receive food prepared with love.” She then dropped out of graduate school to study with Zen chef and monk Edward Espe Brown, author of the revered Tassajara Bread Book and subject of the documentary How to Cook Your Life. Mindful cooking 101 Meredith began the class by leading the dozen or so students in a group meditation and then went on to explain the intersection of mindfulness and knife skills. “The kitchen is the perfect place to practice mindfulness on days when getting on the meditation cushion is impossible,” she said. “And mindfulness isn’t just about being on the cushion, after all. It’s about how you bring that consciousness into real life.” Cooking is an active working meditation, according to Meredith. “As Brown says in How to Cook Your Life,” she continued, “what we do in the kitchen is how we live our lives. If you’re taking shortcuts in the kitchen you’re probably taking shortcuts in other parts of your life, too. So, when you cook, you can practice a different way of being. Knife skills are so elementally mindful—to practice them well requires presence and attentiveness—it’s the perfect experience of beginner’s mind.” For the next three hours, sometimes in silence, we practiced our knife skills on a wide assortment of vegetables and herbs. Here is a little of what I learned: Know how to handle your knife For a secure grip, you’ll want to grasp the handle firmly and pinch the bottom end of the blade with your thumb and forefinger. (Like me, you might need to correct your habit of extending your forefinger along the top of the blade; this gives you less control.) Reuse vegetable scraps When you approach a vegetable, ask yourself, “What parts do I not want to use?” Your first cut should be to eliminate those parts, like the hairy root end of an onion, or the top of a bell pepper. But instead of throwing that part away, think about how you can reuse it. Stash all your veggie scraps and use them in a compost pile that will eventually power your garden. Or you can store those scraps in the freezer and use them to make vegetable stock. (Here’s a guide on how to make stock without a recipe.) Making soup together While we worked, Meredith’s helpers were turning our output into soup. We felt like old friends by the time we gathered around a communal table to enjoy two different soups: butternut squash, Fuji apple and chipotle and miso soup with vegetables and almonds. We began the meal with a moment of silence and then went around the table to talk about what we had learned. Several people had been on meditation retreats with Meredith and saw the class as an extension of that mindfulness experience. I was touched by how connected I felt to everyone after just a few hours of cooking and eating. And, as a bonus, I now feel I have the skills to tackle a veggie hash. My local farmer’s market is tomorrow and I’ll be heading there to gather carrots and celery, parsnips and beets. I will enter my kitchen with beginner’s mind, shake hands with my Wusthof chef’s knife and with presence and mindfulness chop everything into a ½-inch dice. Shelley Levitt is an editor at large for Live Happy.

Podcast

And the Winner Is…Character Strengths!

Each year, I review a wide range of movies, studying them for their portrayals of core themes in positive psychology. Why? Because movies are a lens through which we view ourselves as individuals and a society. They give us insight, instill hope and plant ideas for self-growth. More than just entertainment, research shows that movies can actually lead to an increase in positive characteristics and positive behaviors among viewers. The envelope please... Award for Best Positive Psychology Movie: The Peanuts Movie In this film, Charlie Brown expresses several character strengths, including humor, bravery, kindness and perseverance—all in support of the meta-strength, love. True to positive psychology research, Charlie Brown exhibits "character strengths blindness" and low self-esteem, and it takes other characters to engage in "strengths-spotting" before he improves his self-understanding. Themes of achievement, positive relationships and meaning are on display throughout the film. Take the kids and discuss the themes with them afterward! Award for Positive Relationships: 45 Years A couple who is about to celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary encounter a unique challenge. This beautiful film displays positive aging, relationship imperfections and continual relationship growth rather than stagnancy. It would be difficult for a viewer of any age to watch it and not reflect on one’s own relationship and how it will fare many years (or decades) down the line. Award for Heroism: Star Wars: The Force Awakens This long-awaited Star Wars legacy sequel not only did not disappoint but enthralled most viewers and critics. The Force Awakens hews closely to the work of modern mythologist Joseph Campbell with its classic hero’s journey; however, in this installment the hero happens to be a young woman named Rey, who seems to have a very strong connection to the force. Both the old and new heroes display bravery, compassion, integrity, perseverance and hope as they transform themselves and battle the dark side. Award for Overall Signature Strengths: Concussion Concussion is unquestionably one of the year’s best films from the perspective of story, acting and using one’s strengths to make a difference in the world. A pathologist, Bennet Omalu (Will Smith), makes a medical discovery of football-related brain trauma and the long-term negative effects. Omalu displays psychological and moral courage, perseverance, integrity, judgment and kindness in exemplary ways. This constellation of qualities helps him challenge one of most powerful institutions in the country—the NFL. Award for Hope: The Martian In an unthinkable situation, astronaut (Matt Damon) is abandoned on the planet Mars. With no one to turn to for support or problem-solving help, he is left with nothing but his character strengths and talents to not only survive but also to find a way to make contact with Earth. It is hope the fuels him, helps him face adversity and allows him to stay optimistic despite the horrifying reality of his situation. Award for Resilience (long-term): Room A young woman played by Brie Larsen shows unbelievable strength through devastating circumstances as she protects both herself and her child in this heart-rending film, which takes place mainly in one small room. Later, when she is no longer in the room, she must adapt to a new world and new life while also dealing with significant post-traumatic effects of what she and her son have experienced. Award for Achievement/Accomplishment: Joy A divorced woman, stuck in the sandwich generation caring for older and younger family members, Joy Mangano breaks from the monotony of her life and taps into the creativity she displayed as a child. Based on a real-life story of the woman who invented the Miracle Mop, this film highlights Joy's achievements and her belief in herself despite crushing surroundings. Award for Teamwork: Spotlight This film portrays the “spotlight team” of the Boston Globe that broke the story of the Catholic Church’s systematic cover-up of the sexual abuse of children/adolescents by priests. We watch as they use ingenuity and collaborative teamwork to find the truth. Viewers will see how different character strengths are aligned with different roles and how each team member uniquely rises to the occasion when needed in order to take initiative, to lead, to investigate or to challenge authority. Award for Mindfulness: Anomalisa Perhaps the most creative film of the year, Anomalisa is an animated masterpiece from the quizzical mind of director/writer Charlie Kaufman. David Thewlis gives voice to the main character, a man living on autopilot until he is (temporarily) shaken out of this state by a naive woman voiced by Jennifer Jason Leigh who raises his curiosity and moves him emotionally. She is his mindfulness catalyst. Originally published on Positive Psychology News Daily. Ryan Niemiec, Psy.D., is a licensed psychologist, coach and Education Director of the VIA Institute on Character. He's an international presenter on character strengths, mindfulness and positive psychology. Ryan is author of Mindfulness and Character Strengths and co-author of Positive Psychology at the Movies and Movies and Mental Illness.

Turn Tough Conversations Into Positive Ones

Leave Worry Behind for Good

90 Days to Breakthrough Success

Confessions of an Email Addict

5 Ways to Stay Engaged and Keep Email at Bay

33 Ideas on Happiness

Kristen Bell’s Happy Juggling Act

The Science of Savoring with Paula Felps

A Lesson in Knife Skills—and Mindfulness

And the Winner Is…Character Strengths!

Store

Articles

Quick Links