You searched for self | Page 84 of 130

7 Books to Spark Your Career Reboot

We spend so much of our lives at work. When you dread your job and you find yourself clock-watching, that unhappiness can easily spill over to life outside of work. Whether you are in need of a career shift or a complete makeover, here are seven amazing books to change your work life. Turn your passion into your profession. Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business By Charles Duhigg Journalist Charles Duhigg explores how you can get more done without having to sacrifice what you care about most. Strengthen your internal locus of control (self-accountability). Researchers have found that this sense of personal responsibility is correlated with academic success, higher self-motivation, lower incidences of stress and depression and a longer life span. Practice this learned skill by taking actions that put you in control and express your values. Are You Fully Charged? The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life By Tom Rath Create meaning with small wins each day. Your greatest potential for growth and development lies in the area where you already have natural talent. Double down on your talents and spend your time doing what you can do better than anyone in the world. Practice, build your skills and your knowledge. Create positive experiences with the people who mean the most to you. How you eat, move and sleep are all essential to having more energy throughout the day. Make sure you are doing all three well in order to be your best for work, your family and your friends. The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant To Do By Jeff Goins Live a life that matters by discovering what you were born and meant to do. This book will help you get on the path to your life’s work. Jeff writes that knowing our passion is just the beginning, and that figuring out your purpose is also about where your interests intersect and connect with the needs of the world. We can live for a larger purpose when we are brave enough to try. Do Over: Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck By Jon Acuff Need a career do-over? Whether you are 22 or 62, you already have everything you need for an amazing career. Jon Acuff writes that all great careers have four elements in common: relationships, skills, character and hustle. Find out how to amplify each of these areas to reinvent your work and get unstuck. You can even rescue your Mondays as you discover how to work toward the job you’ve always wanted. The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Control of Your Life By Bernard Roth Discover how to use design thinking to fulfill goals and overcome obstacles that hinder you from reaching your potential. Achievement can be learned. It’s a muscle, and once you learn how to flex it, you’ll be able to meet life’s challenges and fulfill your goals. Build resiliency by reinforcing what you do rather than what you accomplish. Soon you will say goodbye to excuses, and see yourself as a doer and achiever. Workplace Wellness that Works: 10 Steps to Infuse Well-Being and Vitality into Any Organization By Laura Putnam Discover how to promote an overall culture of well-being throughout your organization. Based on the latest research using real-world examples, this guide provides employers with the tools to make a difference in their employees' health and happiness. Learn how to assess your organization's needs and craft a plan that actually benefits employees by empowering them to make better choices. Love Your Job: The New Rules for Career Happiness By Kerry Hannon Learn how to identify the little things that make work enjoyable and engaging. You won’t have to watch the clock anymore to get through workday doldrums. Kerry Hannon focuses on the little things that can make a big difference in how we feel about work. Invigorate your day by challenging old routines, learning new habits and changing your thought patterns. Celebrate small successes and get an entrepreneurial mindset. Possibilities await you. Sandra Bilbray is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.

Reading

Write Your Way to Insight

Try these 5 writing exercises to prime yourself for action, empathy and optimism. Research shows the simple technique of “expressive writing” (see the feature article in the June 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine) can make you happier, healthier and more resilient. But that’s not the only way to create a more joyful life story. Here are five writing assignments to try when you want to spark your creativity, reimagine your future and shake up your present. 1. Describe yourself in 24 words Experts recommend you start with 24 words, then narrow it down to 12 words, then to six, to three and, finally, to a single word. Writing workshop leader Amber Flame includes this exercise in the classes she leads at the Washington Corrections Center for Women. Inmates might begin with a list that includes words like “cook,” “brown skin,” “curly hair,” “mother,” “guilty” and end up with a single word like “survivor.” “It’s a good beginning exercise for people who are uncomfortable writing,” Amber says. “Anybody can do it. But simple as it is, it’s also profound and helps us zero in on how we define our life.” Amber says she does the exercise herself every few months “as a spiritual check-in” and finds the words she chooses change each time. 2. Imagine your best possible self Picture a future in which everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded in achieving all your life dreams. Now, suggests psychologist Timothy Wilson, author of Redirect: Changing the Stories We Live By, write down what you’ve just envisioned. “Be sure to include how you realized your goals (say, by going back to school for a graduate degree). By focusing your story on the practical steps you took, “you might become more optimistic about your future and cope better with any obstacles you encounter.” 3. Write a “joy letter” about someone important in your past or current life In this gratitude exercise, integrative health coach John Evans, Ed.D., suggests that you devote 20 minutes to describing your relationship with the person you are celebrating, including joyous, wonderful experiences you have shared. “Recall how you felt, what you thought, what you said, what others said to you and where you were,” John says. “How do you feel about that person now? How do you wish to feel about them in the future.” The letter is for you only; don’t worry about sending it unless, after rereading the letter a few days later, you think it would be beneficial for you and the other person. 4. Pose the “if”question In 2008, Seattle police officer Kim Bogucki began asking the inmates at the Washington Corrections Center for Women a critical question: “If there was something someone could have said or done that would have changed the path that led you here, what would it have been?” The women’s responses were raw and affecting: "If someone would have told me that I was special.” “If someone had stopped the abuse.” “If someone had told me I’d never see my kids grow up.” As women wrote and shared their “What if” essays, they were able to experience compassion for themselves and for each other and to begin to heal. You don’t need to be in prison, of course, to benefit from this exercise; it’s never too late to identify the “if” that was missing from your life and find ways to provide it for yourself or seek it from others. (Look for the documentary “The IF Project” on the Logo TV network this summer.) 5. Write about something that’s troubling you from the third-person By switching from the “I” voice to he or she, you’ll gain distance, perspective and insight into a conflict—a recent argument with a friend—or your frustrations in trying to find a new job or a relationship. Adopting the voice of an impartial narrator may feel awkward at first but stick with it. The exercise can lead you to feel empathy for someone else’s point of view and can help you see your own behavior with more objectivity. Shelley Levitt is an editor at large for Live Happy.

Self-Care

Just 10 Minutes a Day

When I read Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, I started a love affair with habits. I’ve always loved setting goals, but I’d often end up frustrated with myself (or blame it on not enough hours in a day) if I didn’t get enough accomplished in a week. Then I read this snippet from Gretchen’s book: “With the right habits in place, you can effortlessly go through your day and do the things you want to do.” That’s when I decided to focus more on my habits than an endless list of to-dos. What did I discover? In just 10 minutes a day you can accomplish something that, over time, will move you toward the life you really want. 1. Read every day Before having twin toddlers, I was much better at reading every day. Pre-kiddos reading is much easier for all of us, but we can give ourselves the gift of reading with just 10 minutes before going to bed. And on nights when you have the energy or get absorbed in a really good part, you just may read on. 2. Help one person I write this on my to-do list each day. You can help someone by giving a compliment, writing a positive review, making a referral to give someone a business lead, cooking/baking and sharing, really listening, recommending a book, introducing new friends or forwarding an article. 3. Drink water We all know we are supposed to drink a ton of the stuff every day (8 glasses of 8 ounces) but who does it? Keep a reusable water bottle within arm’s reach all day (carry it with you everywhere) and you will easily get enough water. Your 10 minutes of sipping will be dispersed throughout the day. 4. Reach out My dad lives several states away, so I cut out articles I think he might like and send them to him snail mail. Or I send him a picture or two of his granddaughters because he doesn’t do Facebook. In just 10 minutes, you can write a short note, or send an email to someone you care about or love. 5. Generate ideas We are always busy doing. Or busy being busy. Take 10 minutes for creative brainstorm time. Blog ideas. Business ideas. Come up with new experiences to do with your family. Having something to look forward to makes us happier. 6. Keep your journal from collecting dust I would love to write pages of stream-of-consciousness thoughts for as long as I wanted. But since I don’t have that luxury, I take 10 minutes instead to write a short list about three things I am grateful for. Bonus: This practice makes you happier. 7. Take a short walk I am a wee bit competitive with myself and others. If I am down steps on my Fitbit and far from my daily goal, I can jog in place while I watch the nightly news. Too much sitting isn’t good for you anyway. Take the whole family for a 10-minute walk post-dinner…now that it’s lighter longer. 8. Learn something new I’d totally appreciate college more now than I did when I actually attended. If you like taking notes and learning new things, take 10 minutes a day and tune in to a podcast, watch a video, read an informative article or watch part of a webinar. Watch your knowledge grow by leaps and bounds. 9. Clean out one small thing It may be too daunting to tackle the piles that seem to have grown by themselves all over your house (or office) like stalagmites, but if you take 10 minutes to deal with one discrete pile or corner, you will gain a definite sense of accomplishment. 10. Make your own habits list My list might not be your list. What habits would shift your days into the direction you want to head? Gretchen writes: “There's a great satisfaction in knowing that we've made good use of our days, that we've lived up to our expectations of ourselves.”Now take 10 minutes and make your habits list. See if you can effortlessly plow through those habits tomorrow. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.

Podcast Home

The Perfect Parent with Stacy Kaiser

In this episode of Live Happy Now we talk with Stacy Kaiser, Live Happy editor at large, about the idea of "super parents" and why striving to be a good parent by allowing room for error and accepting imperfections really helps model to children that trying your best is what is really important. Stacy is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, media personality and author of How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know. What you'll learn in this podcast: Why putting yourself first will help you become a better parent How to become a happy parent Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Download 10 ways to be a good parent. Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!

Nature

Happy 100th Birthday National Parks

President Woodrow Wilson may not spring to mind every time you go for a hike, but maybe he should. In 1916, he created the National Park Service as part of the Department of the Interior. What started with 35 protected areas has grown over the past 100 years to include more than 400 parks, historical sites, monuments and natural areas. Celebrate the centennial of America’s phenomenal national parks by spending time in one (or more) this year. Outdoor activities have been linked to better mental and physical health, increased creativity and greater overall well-being. Besides, you’ll be amazed at the diverse beauty to be found in every state. What’s more, all parks have junior ranger programs with activities for families, as well as knowledgeable staffers who can help you plan the perfect visit. Acadia National Park—Maine Acadia, which occupies most of Mount Desert Isle in northern Maine, was the first national park on the east coast. Inside the park you'll find trails for easy to moderate hiking and old carriage roads for driving. There is also a shuttle bus to get around without having to worry about your car. The coast is stunning up close or looking out from Cadillac Mountain, the highest peak in the park. Brave families can get wet, but even in the middle of summer the Atlantic Ocean here is frigid! At the end of the day head to the town of Bar Harbor for a meal and a ride on a vintage sailboat. Dry Tortugas National Park—Florida A 70-mile boat ride from Key West takes you from tourist traps to a more remote world. Here you'll find abundant sea life and plenty of sunshine and beaches. The activities here are ideal for active families: snorkeling, paddling, geocaching and fishing. Home to Fort Jefferson, this area was a busy place during the Civil War and famously housed Dr. Samuel Alexander Mudd, who helped President Lincoln’s assassin get away. Arches National Park—Utah There’s something about the red rock desert of southern Utah that makes it hard to stop snapping photographs. Zion, Bryce and Arches national parks each have their own highlights. For hiking, biking and climbing, Arches gives you the biggest thrills. More than 2,000 natural arches are fun to hike and climb around in the warmer months, but you can explore year-round—even in the snow. Sequoia National Park—California The towering Sequoia trees have always inspired awe in visitors, even before this majestic land in the southern Sierra Nevada became a national park. You can explore the Crystal Caves, an underground wonderland of gleaming stalactites and stalagmites (in summer only) and spend time hiking and wandering along miles of trails for a full sensory experience—the smell of old growth forest, the rugged texture of the trunks and the feel of a gentle breeze rustling the leaves above you. Kobuk Valley National Park—Alaska In 2014, the National Parks Service recorded zero visitors to Kobuk. Other years aren’t so dramatic, but since it was created in the early ’80s, just 141,000 people have seen this remote park. There’s a stark beauty unlike the rest of Alaska out in the northwestern part of the state. Sand dunes stretching for miles, an entirely treeless landscape and frigid rivers all combine for a rugged and solitary experience. Kobuk is not accessible by car, only by small plane. Once here, you can fish, follow migrating caribou, watch the sun never set and get a glimpse of Native Alaskan life. Eliana Osborn is a freelance writer who lives in the desert Southwest.

Put down your phone and be in the moment!

Nature

You’ve Changed—Now Stick to the Program!

As we wind up Live Happy’s 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, happiness expert Christine Carter, Ph.D., offers the last word on how to untangle yourself from your phone and other digital distractions. If you've been following along and doing this 90-day email detox together with Live Happy managing editor Donna Stokes, I hope you've found that it takes less and less willpower to stick with he changes you’ve made, and that the activities you’ve chosen to replace checking your email (or phone) all the time are now a regular part of your lifestyle. They are well on their way to becoming habits, which is great news, because habits often last a lifetime. Here are some final tips for maintaining those changes over the long term: 1. Celebrate your success, but beware of moral licensing As you notice how well you’re doing at staying unplugged or not working when you aren’t at work, don’t let yourself feel so good about your progress that you unleash what researchers call the “licensing effect.” The licensing effect occurs when we behave virtuously and then cancel out our good deeds by doing something naughty. When we behave in line with our goals and values—whether it’s something as large as staying unplugged for an entire vacation or as small as not talking on the phone while checking out at the grocery store—we, ironically, risk backsliding. Consciously or unconsciously, we tend to feel that healthy or virtuous activities entitle us to partake in less-good activities. Smokers will smoke more, for example, when they believe they’ve just taken a vitamin C tablet. Similarly, philanthropists tend to give away less money after they’ve been reminded of their humanitarian attributes. One study even found that after people buy eco-friendly products, they’re more likely to cheat and steal! Avoid the licensing effect by reflecting on your goals and values rather than your accomplishment. Why have you decided to turn your phone off during dinner time? What larger mission are you trying to fulfill? How will you or others benefit from the habit you’re working on? Questions like these can help us avoid self-sabotage. 2. Gather your “cabinet” Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when [we] discover that someone else believes in us and is willing to trust us.” When we’re making lifestyle changes, it is best not to go at it alone—we need to know who else believes in us, who trusts that the changes we’ve made are going to stick. You don’t have to be the president to need a cabinet of close advisers for advice and inspiration, so surround yourself with people who understand what you’ve been working so hard on and who can support you going forward. I can’t underscore enough how critical this is for success. The first and most obvious reason why we need a support team is that our cabinet can help hold us accountable, acting as a bit of external willpower when our self-control falters. This is especially important during a digital detox. Our friends know when we’re addicted to technology again—they can see the time stamp on our emails! Most of us care what other people think of us, and when we make our intentions public in some way—even if our public is just an inner circle of close friends—our intentions have more power. Beyond that, other people can keep us on track when we’re so depleted that we no longer care what other people think. Our friends can refuse to respond to texts that come after our bedtime, for example, and they can help us shut down our computers when it’s time to take a break. Second, there is a plethora of empirical evidence that shows we’re herd animals and we typically do what our peers do. Compelling research demonstrates that our behavior is influenced not just by our friends, but by our friends’ friends’ friends. Because the behavior of others is highly contagious, we do well when we hang out with people who already have the types of habits that we’re trying to maintain. At a minimum, this means finding people at work who are succeeding at leaving their work at work. 3. Begin again after any major change in circumstances. Your habit will stick so long as the circumstances in which you established your new behavior remain the same. But life is full of change. You may change jobs, move to a new apartment or have a baby. Or you might do something as simple (and routine-rocking) as go on vacation. And as you’ve probably experienced, any of these things can disrupt your routine enough that your old, bad habits of working at night or checking your phone while you drive can easily slip in. This unfortunate reality cannot be avoided, but it can be planned for. Before a big change occurs, make some notes about what worked best for you in establishing your new habits the first time. Then anticipate the new obstacles coming your way, and plan for them. What will you need to do differently under the new circumstances? And then—this can be a sour pill to swallow—begin the process of unplugging again. Here’s the good news: You’ve already found a way to stop checking your phone or email; it’ll be much easier to re-establish these behaviors in your new circumstances than it would be to start from scratch. This is because the neural networks exist now where they didn’t before. If you need additional support or would just like more tips, I hope you’ll join my free habit-formation coaching program! Register here. Good luck with your new habits! Read Christine's first blog, 6 Steps to Unplugging From Work. Read Christine's second blog, 5 Ways to Stay Engaged and Keep Email at Bay. Listen to Christine discuss Unplugging From Work on our podcast. Christine Carter, Ph.D., is a sociologist, author, educator and senior fellow at University of California, Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center. She is also the author of The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work and Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.

Lifestyle

Michael Strahan Wakes Up Happy

As a youngster who idolized his three older brothers, Michael Strahan was heartbroken when he learned why they called him “Bob.” The future 6-foot-5 muscular, quarterback-crushing Hall of Fame defensive end was, at age 13, chubby. “Bob” stood for “booty on back,” one of his brother’s friends revealed as Michael huffed and puffed his way up a fence trying to keep up with the older kids. Holding back tears, Michael asked his mom if it was true that he was fat. “Oh no, baby,” she said. “You are husky.” But when Michael pressed his dad, he conceded that the boy could lose some weight. Fit and disciplined So Michael bought a Jane Fonda workout video (the year was 1985). He started saying “no” to second and third helpings of his mom’s cooking, saved up to buy football hero Herschel Walker’s workout book, and added situps and pushups to his regimen during TV commercials as Herschel advised. On weekends, Michael and his father jogged miles together around the U.S. Army base in Mannheim, Germany, where the elder Strahan held the rank of major. Within a few months, Michael was trimmer and fitter than he’d ever been. His brothers stopped calling him “Bob,” and Michael gained something more important, proving to himself that he could accomplish what he set his mind to. His father reinforced the lesson. Anything is possible “Growing up, my dad always used to say, ‘when’ not ‘if,’ ” Michael tells Live Happy. “‘When you get a scholarship to college…’, ‘When you make it into the NFL…’, ‘When you get into the Hall of Fame….’ He taught me to believe that my dreams were not only possible, but that they were inevitable with hard work and dedication. I’ve carried this positive perspective with me throughout all aspects of my life. When things seemed tough, I just reminded myself that it was all part of the process and that things would always work out the way that they were meant to.” He understood the payoffs for hard work could be sweet. “The juice is worth the squeeze,” he writes in his new book, Wake Up Happy: The Dream Big, Win Big Guide to Transforming Your Life. And he learned “grit, desire and discipline” were important on and off the playing field, as well as in day-to-day choices— happiness included. Choose to be happy “I believe everyone can be happy. It’s about choosing to be happy,” he says. “Sometimes happiness and a positive attitude does take grit, desire and discipline. Sometimes it also takes patience and persistence. You have to trust yourself and always do what’s best for you.” Now serving as co-host on LIVE! With Kelly & Michael, special guest host on Good Morning America and football analyst on FOX NFL Sunday, Michael made his transition from pro sports look simple. Figuring it out wasn’t easy, though, and neither was being comfortable on camera for the admitted introvert. But he paid attention, practiced and persevered. He made 20 guest-host appearances with LIVE! host Kelly Ripa in almost a year before he was chosen for the job full time. Fear is good when it challenges you “Most major decisions we make involve fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of commitment, fear of missing out, etc. The best thing we can do is to never let fear consume us,” he says. “Don’t let fear stop us from trying something outside of our comfort zone. Fear is good when it challenges you and pushes you forward, but it’s important to trust your instincts and be confident in what you are doing. You have to be open to new opportunities and experiences for personal growth to happen.” Even before he left the NFL, Michael was preparing for his second act. As he continued racking up accolades and trophies, including the coveted Super Bowl ring in his final year with the New York Giants, he was cultivating people from whom he could learn, absorbing everything he could, staying open to new ideas. A man of many talents “Sometimes you’ll catch the big fish and sometimes you won’t, but without a line in the water you don’t stand a chance,” he writes. Today, Michael has a wealth of opportunities. In addition to appearing on live TV six days a week, he also has a line of men’s suits, the Collection by Michael Strahan, sold by J.C. Penney. With Wake Up Happy, he’s recently added best-selling author to his credits. In the book, Michael admits he doesn’t have everything figured out. Twice divorced, he says his love life is a work in progress. After his first marriage ended, his ex-wife took the two oldest children back to Germany where she and Michael first became teenage sweethearts. Michael regrets the time he missed with the kids and has worked to make it up. He also played Mr. Mom to his twin daughters who were just babies when he and their mother divorced. Still a work in progress To gain joint custody, a judge ordered Michael to care for the girls without outside help, and Michael did it. He continues to work on himself, too. But he may have eased up a bit. His best advice to live happy, he says, is to “be as nice, encouraging and kind to yourself as you are to everyone else. Don’t be so hard on yourself and live life to its fullest! Life has its ups and downs, but focus your energy on enjoying the ride.” As someone who grew up abroad and has traveled extensively since then, the International Day of Happiness has special meaning for Michael. “No matter where you are from, everyone has struggles and disappointments,” he says. “Happiness may come easier to some than others, but we all have conflicts. We are universally connected in that we all deal with these things on a daily basis. How we deal with them is what sets apart the truly happy people. It’s about gratitude and appreciation and being thankful for all that we do have instead of focusing on what we don’t have.” Lisa Ocker is a longtime journalist who formerly served as editor of SUCCESS magazine.

Lifestyle

Why March Madness Makes Us So Happy

The drama, the anxiety, the upsets...That’s right, it’s that time of year again when the masses turn their frenzied fervor for college hoops into all-out madness. Like moths to a flame, millions will flood into sports bars or sneak a peek at their phones to catch the scores every five minutes to see what's happening in the NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament. Bring on the Madness! So what is it about March Madness that draws in so many people—even many non-sports fans? Sean Farnham, ESPN college basketball analyst and former co-captain of the 1999–2000 UCLA Bruins, says it is all about the unpredictability, the fact that once a team is in “the dance,” anything can happen. Win or go home. “Inevitably, what we all love is the real-life drama of the underdog. The NCAA Tournament offers that every single year,” Sean says. “We see that small school from a couple of years ago, Florida Gulf Coast, that was the ‘little engine that could’ and got hot at the right time after finishing second place in their conference tournament. They won two games to advance to the Sweet 16 and they captured the imagination of the country, especially in the world of sports.” The bonding, the betting... It’s pageantry unlike any other sporting event, save for the Super Bowl, and it is consumed by millions. According to ncaa.com, the 2015 tournament was the most watched in 22 years, with an average of 11.3 million television viewers and 80.7 million live video streams. Ryan M. Niemiec, Psy.D., psychologist and education director of the VIA Institute on Character, says one of the interesting aspects about March Madness is that not everyone has to like college basketball to get joy from the tournament. The thrill of picking the winners on wildly popular brackets is intriguing because anyone can participate and win. Last year, global outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc. reported that in 2014, more than 11 million brackets were filled out just on espn.com alone and more than 50 million people participated in some sort of office pool. While your boss may not like the fact that over a billion dollars in productivity is wasted by workers following the games every year, it is proof positive that Americans love March Madness. The “Cinderella Stories” “There are always surprises—aka Cinderella teams—that aren’t expected to win but who do well. And psychology teaches us that people love to root for the underdog,” Ryan says. Yes, it’s an opportunity to kick your hope meter into gear rooting for your favorite picks, but you may be surprised by the additional character strengths that become involved. “We can learn a lot about character and character strengths in the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat,” Ryan says. “We learn which players and coaches have strong and balanced levels of humility, self-regulation, social intelligence, perspective and kindness, to name a few. “These sports—and especially the intrigue and emotionality around the NCAA Tournament—offer a great opportunity for players and coaches to use their best qualities, their character strengths. The fans then can fine tune their skill of spotting character strengths in action,” he adds. It’s also a chance to connect with friends, co-workers and family, find common ground and experience something together, and maybe even engage in a little ribbing just for fun. We love March Madness for the raw, unpredictable drama “More than any other sporting event, we see the raw emotion of the moment, and it is something that is very real,” Sean says. And he should know. From the jubilation he felt in 1997 as a UCLA Bruin making it to the Elite Eight his freshman year, to the pain he felt losing in the first round his junior year to Detroit Mercy, those experiences conjure emotions that he will never forget, especially in March. “To me the NCAA Tournament every year is like Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It’s not just a movie. It’s a moment. An event,” he says. “It is something that will always be remembered.” Chris Libby is the section editor for Live Happy magazine.

science

Should We Aim To Be Perfectly Happy?

If you were to score yourself on a scale of zero to 10, how happy were you yesterday? And how happy are you today with your life? Over the last decade, researchers, workplaces and governments have begun repeatedly measuring our levels of happiness. Why? As we have documented in Live Happy over the past two-and-a-half years, a growing body of research suggests happy people are more successful in marriages, friendships, earning money, work performance and physical health. So surely the higher our happiness scores, the more success we’ll all have. Right? Well perhaps. A more nuanced look at happiness “In our achievement-oriented culture, we often expect to see scores go up,” explains Dr. Peggy Kern from The University of Melbourne, and one of the world’s leading researchers on well-being and its impact. “But I think being 10 out of 10 on a happiness or well-being measure is probably maladaptive. It’s good to have a high level of happiness and to maintain that over time, but it’s also important to be aware that we can have too much of a good thing. And depending on what’s going on in your life, being happy is not always appropriate” For example, researchers have found that while many of us may believe reducing our level of stress is key to improving our happiness, the Gallup World Happiness Report has found that countries with high stress also score high on happiness and well-being. Despite the common perception, stress is not necessarily a bad thing. Happy lives are not stress-free, nor does a stress-free life guarantee happiness. The right kind of stress Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal in her best-selling book The Upside of Stress explains: “The Gallup Poll found that raising a child under 18 significantly increases the chance that you will experience a great deal of stress every day—and that you will smile and laugh a lot each day. Entrepreneurs who say that they experienced a great deal of stress yesterday are also more likely to say that they learned something interesting that day. Rather than being a sign that something is wrong with your life, feeling stressed can be a barometer for how engaged you are in activities and relationships that are personally meaningful.” As psychologists Richard Ryan, Veronika Hutaand Edward Deci write in a chapter of The Exploration of Happiness, “The more directly one aims to maximize pleasure and avoid pain, the more likely one is to produce instead a life bereft of depth, meaning and community.” The many facets of happiness “Happiness comprises multiple elements, such as positive emotions, engagement in life, relationships, a sense of meaning and accomplishment and good physical health,” explains Peggy. “By regularly measuring how we are doing in different areas, we can start to understand what happiness means to us personally, and how we’re impacted by the actions we choose to take and our life experiences.” “Again the goal is not a perfect score in every domain,” she says. “Instead, it’s about noticing when you are living in a way that is most adaptive for you based on what you value, the situations you find yourself in, the resources you have to draw upon and the results you want to achieve. Then take steps to maintain this consistently, or make adjusts as needed.” How can you broaden your measures of happiness? Here are six evidence-based steps: Track your well-being Take the free PERMAH Workplace Wellbeing Survey developed by Peggy to see how you’re doing, set small goals for improvement and access a database of more than 200 different evidence-based practices to improve your happiness at work. Balance your emotions Researchers have found that both positive and negative emotions have their place when it comes to flourishing. While positive emotions can boost our energy, self-confidence and creativity, negative emotions can trigger our awareness that something important to us is not right. They can be a catalyst for change. Happiness is about having the psychological flexibility to understand when heartfelt positive emotions serve us best, and when we need to practice being comfortably uncomfortable with stress and anxiety. You can track your emotions and reflect on their impact using the free two-minute test at www.positivityratio.com. Develop your strengths Researchers have found using our strengths—those things we’re good at and enjoy doing—can help us feel more confident, engaged and energized about our work. They also caution that focusing only on our strengths can give us a false sense of competence, result in over-used strengths and ignores the power of our weaknesses. Happiness requires being able to find the right strength, in the right amount and for the right outcomes, and being able to tackle our weaknesses head-on when they are important. You can start by discovering your strengths using the free 10-minute survey at www.viacharacter.org. Create authentic connections Considerable scientific evidence suggests other people matter. Practicing gratitude not only improves our relationships, but has also been found to reduce stress and negative emotions, and increase our levels of energy and resilience. Before you leave work each day, take the time to genuinely thank one person for how they made your day a little better. Be specific about what you appreciated and why. Find a healthy sense of meaning Adam Grant, Ph.D., expert in altruism and professor at the Wharton Business School of Business, notes the single strongest predictor of having a sense of meaning and purpose is the belief that what we do has a positive impact on others. Think about how what you do each day can help others—even if it’s just the person sitting next to you. Then take time each week to savor the difference you make. Be aware, however, that when our passion becomes obsession (and you hear yourself saying “I have to” instead of “I want to”), this can undermine happiness in the long term. So try to aim for balance, not obsession. Nurture hope While 89 percent of us believe tomorrow will be better than today, only 50 percent of us believe we can make it so. Researchers suggest this belief is the difference between wishing and hoping. When we hope, we set clear “want-to” goals, pathways to reach them, and we find ways to maintain our willpower. As a result, hope can add about an hour a day in terms of productivity, and it helps to improve our health and well-being. You can map your hopes at work by following these simple steps. So this year on the International Day of Happiness, what steps can you take to improve your happiness? Michelle McQuaid is a best-selling author and coach with a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Her work has been featured in Forbes, The Harvard Business Review, The Huffington Post, The Wall Street Journal and many other outlets.

science

Making Motivation Work

Every year we resolve (yet again!) to exercise, lose weight, or find a new, more lucrative or satisfying job. This time we are sure to succeed, we tell ourselves. Despite good intentions, however, we often lose motivation and end up right where we started—or perhaps even further behind, as we have disappointed ourselves by dropping our goals. We wonder what went wrong. Barry Schwartz, professor of psychology at Swarthmore College and a leading researcher in the science of human behavior and decision-making, suggests that rather than a lack of motivation, it may be flawed thinking that is getting in the way of our success. The paralysis of choice In his latest book, Why We Work, the best-selling author dispels common behavioral myths and once again emphasizes that often “less is more.” The more choices we are confronted with in life the less effective we are at making them, Barry says. We often become stressed and suffer subsequent “paralysis from analysis.” In one of Barry’s studies, customers who were offered a choice of six varieties of jam purchased a jar more often than those offered a choice of 24 types, leading him to determine that, when it comes to choice, the less we have, the more motivated we are to take action. We also feel better about our decision because we don’t feel like we are missing out on the thing we didn’t choose, Barry says. Less is more Less is more when it comes to our motives, as well. Contrary to popular belief, having two reasons or motives for doing something isn’t necessarily better than one. In fact, Barry says, “two reasons may be worse than one” and can kill the natural joy we feel in doing a certain activity and decrease our chances for success. This finding was a revelation to me. As a child, I had a strong affinity for gymnastics. I performed cartwheels and back handsprings non-stop because it brought me sheer joy! However, that changed after I joined a competitive team. My focus turned to potential medals. Practice suddenly seemed arduous and I lost interest in my beloved hobby. Where’s the joy? What happened? According to Barry, the competitive goal of winning a medal turned my hobby into a chore. Having the additional motive (medals) canceled out my internal motivation, which was joy. “Paying people or giving them awards for activities they would do on their own weakens these internal motives, and the pay doesn’t compensate,” says Barry. He explains that “little kids who get awards for drawing become less interested in drawing, and draw worse pictures, than kids who don’t.” So how can we apply these findings to our own goals? Focus on one thing at a time. Forgo trying to tackle a huge list of goals or changes. Instead, focus on just one (or two) and give it your full attention. You’ll feel better knowing you succeeded with your chosen goal(s), rather than dwelling on those you didn’t accomplish. Find your motive. Ask yourself what is your main motive for a resolution and keep that in mind. For example, perhaps you enjoy your regular exercise routine. Focus on how that makes you feel rather than finding another reason to exercise. However, if your exercise already feels like a chore, adding a goal can help. Set many short-term goals along the way to your final goal. Break up big projects into smaller, more manageable steps you can take each day. It will prevent you from procrastinating and feeling overwhelmed. Having a sense of daily accomplishment, regardless of how small, will likely keep you motivated, increasing your chances for success. Equipped with the right tools, you’re more likely to succeed! Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and her husband James Pawelski will be presenting at the Embodied Positive Psychology Summit (April 26-29th) at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts.

7 Books to Spark Your Career Reboot

Write Your Way to Insight

Just 10 Minutes a Day

The Perfect Parent with Stacy Kaiser

Happy 100th Birthday National Parks

You’ve Changed—Now Stick to the Program!

Michael Strahan Wakes Up Happy

Why March Madness Makes Us So Happy

Should We Aim To Be Perfectly Happy?

Making Motivation Work

Store

Articles

Quick Links