Group of happy elementary school kids.

Happy Schools Make Happy Children

In January, the elementary students at North Fond du Lac Schools in Wisconsin took on their most ambitious art project to date. Each of the more than 400 children, from kindergarten through fifth grade, wrote one thing they were thankful for on a strip of construction paper. Then they made paper “rings” of those expressions of gratitude before weaving them together to create one giant “gratitude chain.” Their goal? To create a colorful paper chain that could wrap around the entire school, surrounding it (both literally and figuratively) with gratitude. The project, says art teacher Alice Tzakais, was the culmination of the school’s Happiness Week, which included a variety of activities centered on expressing gratitude and happiness. “Our theme is the power of happiness,” explains Alice, who is now in her 40th year as a teacher. The school has seen firsthand how powerful happiness can be in the lives of both students and teachers. Since Aaron Sadoff became superintendent eight years ago, following three years as principal, he has worked diligently to spread the message of positive psychology throughout the school. “He has a lot of energy and a lot of ideas,” Alice says. “He’s very positive and enthusiastic, and that’s what it takes to sustain a happier culture.” When his contract came up for renewal two years ago, Aaron negotiated to have the school board send him to California to complete The Orange Frog training program. That program, based on Shawn Achor’s best-selling book The Happiness Advantage, uses a parable about an orange frog named Spark to teach new ways of achieving positive results. “I came back and taught it to my teachers, custodians, secretaries—everyone in the district,” Aaron says. “How a teacher feels affects the students, so I knew that if we can change the way the teachers feel, we can affect the culture for the students.” His teaching staff, he says, has taken the ideas and run with them. Today, Alice says, teachers know their character strengths and choose which ones they’ll develop and use in the classroom. They have developed a program to send the comic book version of The Orange Frog home with every elementary school student, along with a reading guide, to stimulate conversation. “The idea is that this is something the family is supposed to do together,” Aaron says. “So while we’re improving literacy, it’s also teaching them the science of happiness.” Learned happiness The district of North Fond du Lac is part of a growing number of schools incorporating the principles of positive psychology into education. As happiness continues to become more relevant globally, more countries are looking at ways to measure and monitor the well-being of their populations. From specific education policies to grass-roots movements, the awareness of the role happiness plays in individual success is changing how teachers, schools and even countries are approaching education. “The coolest thing is, you don’t sit around and talk about happiness. You don’t say, ‘Oh, look at me, I’m so joyous.’ It’s not like that at all,” Aaron explains. “What we’re doing is about recognizing what you’re grateful for, making social connections and focusing on the things that make us better individuals. And now there’s research that backs it all up.” In the 2015 World Happiness Report, Richard Layard, director of the Wellbeing Programme at the Centre for Economic Performance at the London School of Economics, and Ann Hagell, Ph.D., studied the well-being and mental health of children around the world, and then introduced specific recommendations for improving those conditions. They noted the important role an educational environment plays in children’s happiness and recommended that meeting the needs of children meant establishing well-being as a major objective for schools. Their blueprint for action included: Creating a well-being code that all teachers, students and parents would be held to. Emphasizing praise rather than criticism. Introducing age-appropriate courses in positive life skills at all levels of education. Training teachers to identify and promote well-being and positive mental health in students. The authors were able to show a direct correlation between children’s happiness and their intellectual growth. In 2011, a review of school-based programs providing social and emotional learning skills found that children who participated in such programs improved both their academic achievement and emotional well-being by an average of 10 percent. The final conclusion drawn in the World Happiness Report was that if schools truly treasure the well-being of their students, they must measure more than just academic achievement; they must consider the children’s happiness as well. And measuring it, according to Aaron, is what will get the attention of policymakers. “Math and test scores are important, but there’s so much more to education,” he says. “You have to look at how kids interact and you have to look at things like sports, music, art and how it affects them. It’s a process that takes a while, but all cultural change does. “The bottom line is, we now can prove, scientifically, that happiness leads to success.” Hunting positivity At the Parkmore Primary School in Australia, school principal Saraid Doherty has noticed a culture shift over the past year. It’s most noticeable at lunchtime, she says, when students regularly report their fellow students’ actions to teachers on yard duty. But rather than tattling to get their classmates in trouble, they’re reporting on the good things they’ve seen other students doing. Parkmore is one of many schools in 13 countries that have implemented the Positive Detective program. Created by Lea Waters, Ph.D., professor and holder of the Gerry Higgins Chair in Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne, and Lela McGregor, a graduate of the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology program, the Positive Detective program teaches students to look for the good in the world around them and share it with others. “Teaching students to notice and discern where they place their attention is a skill that is fundamental to learning and well-being,” Lea says. “Many students feel that attention is outside of their own control…and susceptible to external distractions. This has become more rampant with the greater role of technology in a young person’s life.” Teaching them to focus helps them academically as they absorb more from each class, and it also allows them to recognize negative thought patterns or emotions, which makes it easier to change those thoughts. Building on experiences such as gratitude, savoring and kindness fosters students’ self-awareness about their ability to seek out good in their lives. Then, they learn how sharing those stories can help boost their positive emotions. “The program also includes activities that students take home and share with their parents, such as [writing a] gratitude letter and a positive treasure hunt at home,” Lea says. “[Principals have] received lots of feedback from parents about how the conversation at the dinner table had become more positive as a result of the program.” That viral nature of positivity is part of what helps it work so well. Schools where social emotional learning or positive psychology principles are taught report that the children take those lessons home with them and share with the entire family. Steve Leventhal, executive director of the nonprofit organization CorStone, launched the Girls First program in Bihar, India, in 2011. The program teaches personal resilience to girls in an impoverished area and has changed the way the girls approach problems. But even more importantly, that change has rippled through their families. “When you educate a girl, she takes that home with her. It changes the trajectory of the whole family,” he says. And that appears to be true regardless of whether those families are in India or Indiana. Acting globally As happiness in schools moves from an idea to a global initiative, more systems are being put into place to create effective policies and practices. At the International Positive Education Network (IPEN) festival in Dallas last year, Martin Seligman, Ph.D., director of the Penn Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, noted that while parents claim the thing they want most for their children is for them to “be happy,” education as a whole has ignored well-being and is aimed instead at developing skills like math, literacy, achievement and success. Yet, research shows that happiness leads to success, not vice versa. In the Asia-Pacific regions, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) is calling for a fundamental shift in education systems. The Happy Schools Project, conceived by Gwang-Jo Kim, director of UNESCO Bangkok, looks at the relationship between happiness and the quality of education. It calls for schools to look beyond the traditional domains of learning and begin embracing and implementing the other elements that contribute to the wellbeing and happiness of students. UNESCO’s 2016 report, Happy Schools: A Framework for Learner Well-being in the Asia-Pacific, identifies 22 criteria for creating what it considers “Happy Schools.” The criteria fall into three broad categories of People, Process and Place, and shines a light on what is important for creating happiness and well-being in each of those areas. The report calls for decision-makers to “create more time and space for a type of learning that can enhance learner happiness and well-being, in hope of inspiring happier learners who can contribute to happier societies, and ultimately, to a happier world.” The key, it appears, is getting decision makers, both at a governmental policy level and at a school level, to buy into it. In a time when teachers and administrators are under pressure to deliver proof of excellence through test scores, the promise of happier students coupled with improved academic performance is “an easy conversation to start,” says Jillian Darwish, president of the Mayerson Academy in Cincinnati, which provides the Thriving Learning Communities program. “There’s not an educator out there who doesn’t want to help others find their greatest potential,” she says. “That’s why they came to the field. They care about others. The notion of helping them do just that really speaks to educators.” Thriving Learning Communities uses three main components. The largest, social emotional learning, teaches students relationship skills and responsible decision-making. The second guides students on how to identify and work to their character strengths. The third, a digital game element provided by partner Happify, helps teach them about positivity in a hands-on way. “This is not a program we give to teachers to give to their students,” Jillian says. “It begins with the teachers. As an educator, I’m going to find out, what are my personal strengths? How can I use those strengths to develop great teams? Once I’ve experienced that on a personal level, then I can start sharing it with my students.” By teaching educators and then students to “focus on what’s strong, not what’s wrong,” the conversation shifts. “It creates an entirely different dynamic,” Jillian explains. “This, to me, is the antidote to many of the behavioral and social problems we see in schools. If we agree to look for the best in ourselves and in each other, it absolutely changes the way we interact with each other.” Feedback from students and educators alike reinforces what Jillian has observed, and shows that these new skills are helping students both personally and academically. One sixth-grader who participated in the Thriving Learning Communities program says that at first there wasn’t much he enjoyed about school. “But with this,” he says, “you have something to look forward to. I get up in the morning, get moving fast and I get it going so I can get to school.” Fifth- and sixth-graders from the Cincinnati Public Schools offer similar stories, noting that identifying their individual strengths has helped them approach their problems differently. “My strengths are love of learning and forgiveness,” reports one student, who added that learning her character strengths helped her understand herself better and helped her get to know other people. It also gave her an understanding of what strengths she’d like to work on developing—becoming more outgoing and brave—but also reinforced her self-confidence. That, in turn, has made her a better student. “I used to have a hard time focusing on math,” she says. “Now, I have the confidence to take a test and know I can do it.” Proof positive A study published in November in the Review of Educational Research, which looked at multiple research results from the past 15 years, confirmed that a positive school environment can offset many of the negative effects of poverty. In 2016, more schools began looking at the role of culture in academic outcomes, and the U.S. Department of Education even introduced an online toolbox to help administrators measure and understand their school climate. The "Every Student Succeeds" Act, signed into law at the end of 2015, requires U.S. schools to consider non-academic factors such as school culture when evaluating overall success. And the International Positive Education Network was created three years ago to help build a global network of educators, students and representatives from governments and companies who support the idea of reforming—and transforming—the current education model. “It’s a big ship to turn around,” says Positive Detective’s Lea Waters. “But shifting the rudder by even a few degrees changes the long-haul course of that ship. I feel hopeful that now, more than any other time in education, we are seeing that change.” Read more about positive education: Does Grit Outweigh Talent When it Comes to High Achievement? 4 Ideas Shaping the Future of Education Listen to our podcasts: The Importance of Positive Education, Part 1 and Part 2. Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Desk with old and new technology.

5 Tips for Digital Decluttering

You are having a great day—productive yet carefree. You open your closet door to put something away when out of the corner of your eye you glimpse what looks like a nest of black snakes interwoven with flecks of silver. The snakes morph before your eyes into a Medusa’s head of abandoned computer cords that threatens to turn you into stone if you keep looking at them. And they have names: USB, FireWire, pin-dot, 2-pin. And the cords connect to so many obsolete devices: your old digital camera, that practically antique PalmPilot, your grandma’s dot-matrix printer, your shattered iPhone 3. This is a monster pile of digital detritus, and it’s time for it to go. The GOT syndrome In the past 10 years, the speed of innovation has increased exponentially. Periodic upgrades have become expected and anticipated, leading to a constant churn of hardware. While it’s easy to acquire new gadgets, it is significantly harder to know what to do with the old ones. As a result, we are burdened with what I call the GOT (guilt over things) syndrome. The GOT syndrome makes us feel like we have to keep objects because they might be useful again someday, they have sentimental value or they are worth a lot of money. It’s hard to let go of a gadget that you spent $600 on just a year ago, only to find that its value plummeted as soon as the next model came out. It’s also difficult to get rid of gadgets that carry sensitive data, particularly when an item is broken. And so, these Medusa heads made up of gadgets and gizmos pile up in dark closets, their very existence in our homes proving that the stone-turning effect really works—we are paralyzed by our fear of letting go. Listen to our podcast on Digital Spring Cleaning With Amy Blankson. Creating a Habitat for Happiness Instead, imagine having your closet and drawer space back to use on projects that you really care about! In my book The Future of Happiness, one of the strategies I share for increasing well-being in the digital era is to create a habitat for happiness in your life, which means carving out a space where your brain can maximize its productivity and flow by removing distractions and infusing your space with more meaning. Although the process can seem daunting, devoting a day or even a weekend to decluttering can make a serious dent in your tech graveyard and increase your happiness! To get started with digital spring cleaning, follow these steps: 1. Sift and sort Start by sorting your items into two piles on the floor: those that are still used/needed and those that are not. (My general rule of thumb is that if I haven’t used something in the last two years, I probably don’t need it.) Go through your “needed” pile to see if you have multiple copies of the same device or plug. Yes, one Ethernet cord can be handy in a pinch, but fifteen cordsare overkill. 2. Take care of special memories I find that most of my digital clutter is related to old home videos. I have old video cameras of multiple sizes, each of which takes different tapes, cords, and, of course, different wires. For years, I told myself that I was going to convert all these tapes into digital format. But doing so is an incredibly arduous and long process. Unless you are particularly tech savvy and have tons of time on your hands, I suggest bringing your videos to a video conversion service. Companies like Wal-Mart and Costco will convert videos for you. 3. Contain yourself To limit entropy in the future, put your “needed items” in small storage spaces and containers. Let me say that last part again: small storage spaces and containers. As we know, things expand to fill the given spaces, so it would make sense that limiting our spaces would help contain the disorder. Avoid cardboard boxes since they are food for potential roaches and other bugs. Use clear (and lidded, if you can find them) containers so you can easily find what you need. 4. Deal with the leftovers Divide your pile of “not-needed items” into three boxes: sell, donate or recycle. For items that you are interested in selling, you can take them to Best Buy, which offers to purchase an extensive list of electronic items at reasonable prices. You can even use the company’s online trade-in calculator to get a sense of how much you might get in return. Alternatively, you can receive an Apple gift card for old computers through services like PowerON. If the item is not easily sold, you can donate or recycle it. To find an organization in your area that accepts technology, check out e-Stewards.org, a nonprofit website with some great information about how to donate your items. Note: before parting with your gadgets, make sure to remove sensitive information by securely erasing data. (If you are unsure of how to do this, look up “erase” and your device on Google. Or just find your nearest teenager to help. If all else fails, many cities have on-site hard drive destruction services or you could even mail your devices to be destroyed through services like Ship’n’Shred.) 5. Relish your victory Last but not least, take a moment to stand back and appreciate what you have accomplished. Think about all the ways you have helped others by recycling and how you can use the money you earned by selling your old gadgets. And, of course, dream about how you can utilize your newly recovered space for things that add meaning and purpose to your life. Amy Blankson, aka the ‘Happy Tech Girl,’ is on a quest to find strategies to help individuals balance productivity and well-being in the digital era. Amy, with her brother Shawn Achor, co-founded GoodThink, which brings the principles of positive psychology to lifeand works with organizations such as Google, NASA and the U.S. Army. Her new book is called The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-being in the Digital Era.
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Pantone Spring Colors

Bring Spring Colors Home

Put away those cozy woolens and wintry whites and make way for spring blooms. After perusing Pantone’s 2017 hot list, we’ve selected four versatile hues for you to experiment with this spring. From vibrant Primrose Yellow to Pale Dogwood pink and Niagara, a classic blue, it’s time to start living in color! Rounding out the set is showstopper Greenery, Pantone’s 2017 color of the year. “It speaks to our desire to explore and reinvent, and imparts a sense of buoyancy,” says Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute. “Greenery offers us self-assurance and boldness to live life on our own terms, during a time when we are re-defining what makes us successful and happy.” Choosing a color palette comes down to personal preference. Leslie Harrington, executive director of The Color Association of the United States, says that people often lose the connection between choosing the right color and what their intentions are for the purpose or mood of the space. “Color [is] very individualistic, depending on your stage in life and approach to change.” Susan Hable, author of A Colorful Home, enjoys vibrant art but says a small amount of color can be enough to light up the room. “Then add decorative pillows or accents like a rug or upholstery with a similar color,” she says. “I think it is too much when one uses too many bright colors to make a room ‘happy’ instead of making conscientious choices about what color brings to a room.” One simple and affordable way to add a pop of color to a space is with accents and accessories. Experiment and have fun with color in your home. We've gathered our favorite spring-hued products and ideas to help you do just that. Living Greens: This Spring Green Succulent 12" Wreath sets the right tone on the front door or anywhere in your home ($158, oliveandcocoa.com). Light It Up: Brighten up a corner with the Rosemary Green Wexler Table Lamp ($129.99, lampsplus.com). Get Knotty: This 14" x 20" Macramé Pillow in lime gives an age-old craft a modern touch ($98, companyc.com). Form & Function: Anda armchair by Pierre Paulin has curve appeal ($2,190, ligne-roset.com). Bittersweet: A vintage botanical print is revised. Meyer Lemon Table Runner and Citrus Porcelain Dinner Plates, set of 4 ($47.96 each, williams-sonoma.com). Sunny Disposition: We love the Millie Chest for its flexibility (great addition to any room) and storage, 32"W x 16"D x 30½"H ($299, grandinroad.com). Say It Loud: This supersoft 16" indoor/outdoor pillow channels happy thoughts ($109, alexandraferguson.com). Curvaceous: Both sculptural and functional, the Threshold Earthenware Vase is beautiful in blue ($24.99, target.com). Natural Setting: Elegant florals sweep across the Birch Way Indigo dinnerware set by Kate Spade (prices range from $18 to $270, lenox.com). Top-Notch: Make a statement with the refined elegance of the Vivienne Tray Table, featuring brass legs and a glass tray ($279, grandinroad.com). Fur Real: The Mongolian Sheep Fur Throw Pillow exudes texture and charm in a soft petal hue ($129, grandinroad.com). Table Top: Constellation Napkin Ring in blush, $28 for set of 4, shown with Nimbus Napkin, $19 for set of 4. Hand-beaded Bijoux place mat, $128 for set of 2 (kimseybert.com). In the Garden: Dress your bed in Yves Delorme’s new luxuriously soft Millefiori Quilted Coverlet ($595, usa.yvesdelorme.com). April Hardwick is the Design Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Inspiring Children Through Music with Laurie Berkner

Laurie Berkner is a best-selling, award-winning children’s recording artists and widely recognized as the uncrowned queen of children’s music. Laurie’s albums have been best-sellers on a chart typically dominated by movie soundtracks and major label compilations. Laurie has written the music and lyrics for two Off-Broadway children's musicals produced by New York City Children’s Theater: Wanda's Monster (2013) and The Amazing Adventures of Harvey and the Princess (2014). What you'll learn in this podcast: What children can teach us about music How music can help children learn and grow How to get rid of self-criticism and let go Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Visit Laurie's YouTube channel Follow Laurie on Twitter and Facebook Purchase Laurie's book We Are the Dinosaurs and album Superhero
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Woman looking at her phone.

Amy Blankson’s Tech Survival Kit

Does technology hurt our ability to be happy or can it actually help? With the proliferation of smartphones and the internet, Amy Blankson, co-founder of the global positive psychology firm GoodThink, says the answer to this question will define our time. In The Future of Happiness, Amy, a Harvard graduate and Yale MBA, reveals five strategies to harness technology to increase happiness and thrive in the digital age. LIVE HAPPY: What inspired you to write your book, The Future of Happiness? AMY BLANKSON: My brother Shawn Achor and I joined forces to create GoodThink in 2007. Gradually, the questions we heard at our talks began to change. Instead of uncertainty about the economic health of the world, we began to hear concern about our how technology is shaping our lives and those of future generations: Can happiness keep pace with innovation? Would we be happier without tech? How do we find happiness in spite of all this distraction? This book emerged from those real-life conversations with individuals across the globe, across economic boundaries and across ages. I don’t think I’m overstating it to say that the answers to these questions will de ne our time. These are the questions that undergird the modern family dynamic, that shape workplace efficiency and engagement, and set the baseline for our interactions and communications with friends. My goal with The Future of Happiness is to inspire a new way of thinking about technology, one that gives us new language to think about how we fuse technology into our lives. LH: What are a few examples of technology being used for good? Some of my favorite examples are: The Emma pen—used to help Parkinson’s sufferers write again. E-nable—a global volunteer organization that helps individuals 3D-print and assemble prosthetic limbs for children in need. Cochlear implants—enable people to hear for the first time. LH: Do you think there’s a lack of awareness of how technology can make us happier? Absolutely! In recent months, I have seen a growing number of posts about how bad technology is for us. As Shakespeare once said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Technology is a tool, a means to an end, and we get to decide how that story ends. LH: How do we consciously curate the tech we use and choose to use technology mindfully? AB: Rather than just getting away from our devices, I advocate a method I call strategic unplugging. To prove that tech is a tool and not a toxin, I am going to use tech to help you gain greater control over your tech. Know Your Stats. Download the Instant or Moment apps to see how many times you turn on your phone each day. The average person checks his phone 150 times every day. If every distraction took only one minute (a seriously optimistic estimate), that would account for 2.5 hours of distraction every day. That’s 912.5 hours a year, or roughly 38 days in a year. You see the problem? Knowing your stats increases your awareness, so that you can make choices about how you spend your time and energy. Know Your Limits. Download the BreakFree app to see how often you use different apps. Get creative about setting limits for use of technology, such as abstaining from tech at nighttime, which will improve your productivity and mood for future days. Know Your Weaknesses. Download the app Unplugged for iPhone or Offtime app for Android to boost your willpower in putting your phone down from time to time. Know Your Intentions. Download the Intentional Living app to write explicitly how you would like to use tech in the future. You might write: My intention is to check email only once a day. Without setting an explicit intention for yourself, the brain will resort to muscle memory and sink into previous habits. LH: How can people start seeing technology as a positive influence in their lives? AB: The first way is to acknowledge that technology has been a positive influence in our lives.Statistics show technology has improved relationships: 66 percent of internet users say their email exchanges have improved their connections to significant friends. 22 percent of respondents reported that they had either married, become engaged to or were living with someone they initially met on the internet. At GoodThink, we often teach individuals to scan their environment for three things for which they are grateful.This exercise teaches the brain that, although there are negative and positive inputs all around us, we can choose to look for the positive and give them priority in our lives. LH: What’s the one thing (above others) you hope readers take away from your book? AB: The future of happiness is up to us. By intentionally thinking about where, when, why and how we are using technology, we can begin to actively shape the social scripts and market forces that drive our culture to create the future that we truly want to see. Listen to Amy's Interview on the Live Happy Now podcast: Read more by Amy Blankson: Let Technology Life Your Life Sandra Bienkowski is a contributing editor for Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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Two people looking at a phone and laughing in a cafe.

Let Technology Lift Your Life

It’s easy to get frustrated by the incessant rings, dings and pop-up messages of the tech in our lives. Technology helps us communicate faster and work better, but it can also become an albatross. Researchers are beginning to study exactly how it affects happiness and emotional development in the long run. So far, the results from academic studies have been a wake-up call: Teens who spend hours online become less happy; the mere presence of a cellphone during a face-to-face conversation can reduce feelings of closeness, trust and relationship quality. While these findings should give us pause, there is another side to the story—about how technology can (and is) being used to improve communication. Think of the numerous geographically divided families that can now communicate on FaceTime or Skype for a fraction of the cost, or of far-flung friends who now stay in touch via Facebook or Snapchat. Positive news about social media Keith Hampton, a professor of media and information at Michigan State University, argues that the idea that we interact either online or offline is a false dichotomy. Through his studies, he has become convinced that social media and the internet are actually drawing us closer together—both online and offline. “I don’t think it’s people moving online, I think it’s people adding the digital mode of communication to already existing relationships,” he says. The more different kinds of media that people use to interact—phone, email, in person, text, Facebook—the stronger their relationships tend to be. Similarly, a 2012 Pew research study of more than 2,200 individuals in the U.S. found that 55 percent of internet users say their email exchanges have improved their connections to family members, and 66 percent say the same thing for significant friends. Sixty percent of users cite email communication as a primary reason for this improvement. If we know that social media has the potential to positively or negatively impact our relationships, the next step is to think more carefully both about what we are consuming online and what we are spreading. Individuals who actively invest in others are 40 percent more likely to receive social support themselves. So how can we help spread positivity? Here are three tips to get you started: 1. Don’t be 'phony.' Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress we feel when we hold or act upon contradictory beliefs, ideas or values at the same time. Brené Brown, a professor at the University of Houston and author of The Gifts of Imperfection, describes authenticity as “the daily practice of letting go who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are.” The further we get from our authentic selves, the further we move from becoming our ideal selves. The internet offers rare opportunities for anonymity and reinvention. But don’t use it that way, for the sake of your own happiness. Make sure your online persona reflects your actual persona, and let the world see the real you. 2. If you are going to read the feed, invest the time to respond. It makes a difference whether you simply scroll through posts or actually stop to respond. A recent study found that individuals who use Facebook passively, experience declines in well-being over time. If your friend said something profound or funny, would you merely flash them a smile or would you verbally respond? Researchers report that time spent reading posts from acquaintances without responding to them is related to a slight increase in negative mood; conversely, posters experience an increase in happiness when they see that their friends reacted to their posts in a personal way rather than just hitting a like button. 3. Let your compliments complement your conversations. Social media is not intended to be a replacement for offline communication, but rather a different mode of expressing one’s self.Use it to enhance, not replace your actual friendships and acquaintances. Make plans, check in and then get together in the “RL” (real world). These small changes make a huge difference in the way that we perceive and engage with social media. If we aspire to see a world where technology strengthens our relationships and improves our mood, we have to start by being intentional with our own behavior. Listen to Amy Blankson discuss 'How to Declutter With Digital Spring-Cleaning' on our Podcast. Amy Blankson, aka the ‘Happy Tech Girl,’ is on a quest to find strategies to help individuals balance productivity and well-being in the digital era. Amy, with her brother Shawn Achor, co-founded GoodThink, which brings the principles of positive psychology to lifeand works with organizations such as Google, NASA and the U.S. Army. Her new book is called The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-being in the Digital Era.
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Confident woman walking to work.

10 Steps to Become a Fully Loaded Grown-Up

A few years ago, I wrote a book called How to Be a Grown Up. What motivated me was my realization that there are 10 significant areas each of us needs to focus on in order to have the greatest chance of being a happy and successful adult. Over time, I’ve come to realize that most of us don't want to be just a grown-up, we want to be a fully loaded grown-up! What is that, you ask? My definition of a fully loaded grown-up is a person who knows when to get down to business and when to lighten up; who can bounce back from life's little spills and not blame someone else for the mess; and most important, who can accelerate through any roadblock to success and happiness. Here are my 10 steps to becoming a fully loaded grown-up. 1. Be a dynamic communicator A dynamic communicator puts in the time and energy to communicate effectively. She cares more about the long-term outcome than the immediate gratification of being louder or being right. The dynamic communicator lets go of the need to win and realizes that true winning comes from a successful relationship, whether romantic or otherwise. 2. Learn to cope Each person's ability to cope begins in childhood. But how you behave in adulthood is a combination of the cards you were dealt as a child, your life experiences as you've grown and the baggage you have accumulated along the way. A fully loaded grown-up learns effective coping skills and puts them into practice. When you have those all-important skills, you can handle whatever life throws at you—and in the end, walk away from the game of life with a positive outcome. 3. Build a strong support system A strong support system provides fun, social interaction, encouragement and help during tough times. They are cheerleaders to root for you during challenges, and people who will celebrate your victories. You’ll want to invest plenty of time and emotional resources in this group, as they are the people who provide a soft place to land when you need it. Perhaps you can find this support network in one or two people, or you might need a dozen. Whatever works for you, make sure not to neglect this key area of your life. 4. Find a solid intimate partnership I have found that a satisfying love relationship has the power to make people happier and more productive. The key is finding a person who nurtures your strengths, and vice-versa, and then maintaining that relationship. Put in the effort to find someone who meets your needs and fulfills your head, heart and body. 5. Get comfortable with your appearance Learn that what other people think doesn't matter and that you ultimately have to satisfy yourself. Be kind and gentle with yourself; social comparison—which often focuses on looks—can be the cause of depression and anxiety, especially for women. Learn to be conscious about your appearance but not hard on yourself. 6. Learn to manage your finances Not surprisingly, managing your finances is key to becoming a fully loaded adult. Take time out to investigate your strengths and weaknesses, and identify the bad habits you have developed over the years. Learn to separate your emotions from your finances and be as logical, methodical and reliable as possible. If you feel your skills are lacking in this area, reach out for support by taking a class, getting advice from a friend or reading one of the many great books out there on how to manage your money. 7. Find work that meets your needs If your work is unsatisfying, find a path either to improve the current environment or make a change. If you are unable to make any changes in your present job, look for elements about it that make you happy. Is it down the street from your favorite lunch place? Have you met a great friend? Does it cover your bills every month? Focus on the positive to help you get through the negative. 8. Free yourself from addiction I define addiction as the habitual and/or compulsive surrender to a substance or activity. They can run the gamut from food to alcohol to sex to shopping. Addiction is so powerful that it can destroy every other area of your life in one fell swoop. Fully loaded grown-ups know how to find real and concrete help so they can recover and live a life that is addiction-free. Three main elements come into play with addiction: genetics, the environment/social factors and the ability to cope. If you have weaknesses in any of these areas, stay vigilant for signs of the onset of addiction; it can sneak up on you. 9. Practice good time-management skills We all have the same 24 hours in a day available to us, and yet some people are extremely productive and accomplish many things, while others can barely make it through the bare minimum of tasks. Don't make excuses. Don't overload your schedule. Learn time-management skills that include delegation and focusing on what is most important. 10. Be flexible Flexibility allows you to handle what life throws at you. It is the ability to adapt, bend and stretch as needed. Flexibility in life will reduce your stress and allow for greater happiness and productivity. If you are taking the time to read this article, you are working the skill of flexibility because you are trying to grow and change. Being a Fully Loaded Grown-up requires what I call positive action. Positive action is the ability to take ownership of your life and make steps toward making change and forward progress. The payoff is that you will be calmer, happier and your life will run more smoothly. You can begin this journey by evaluating your status in these 10 areas and getting started at improving realms that may need some extra effort. Listen to Stacy Kaiser discuss the Myth of the Perfect Parent on our podcast. Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know and an editor at large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.
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Eyes Wide Open with Isaac Lidsky

Isaac Lidsky is a CEO, corporate speaker, author and entrepreneur, now leading Florida’s largest residential shell contractor ODC Construction. A graduate of Harvard University and Harvard Law School, Isaac is the only blind person to serve as a Law Clerk for the U.S. Supreme Court. His debut book Eyes Wide Open was cited by The Washington Post among 10 key leadership books in 2017. As a child actor, he played “Weasel” on NBC’s Saved By The Bell: The New Class and appeared in 100+ commercials. What you'll learn in this podcast: How to think differently about true vision and ways to approach life goals Why entrepreneurship is the answer for many of us to “Live Happy” but not everyone What you need to know to shatter misconceptions that may exist about you Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Purchase a copy of Eyes Wide Open Download a free excerpt of Eyes Wide Open Watch Isaac's TED talk Follow Isaac on Twitter and Facebook
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Many post-its on a steering wheel.

Ditch These 5 Habits to Find Happiness

If you search the literature of positive psychology you’ll find scant evidence that a second car in the garage or an overstuffed closet is the key to greater well-being. And while research shows that experiences, rather than material things, are a more reliable source of lasting contentment, constant busyness won’t likely lead to bliss either. In fact, boosting happiness doesn’t require getting or having more. Instead, the key to a happier life often lies in ditching bad habits, attitudes and beliefs that stand in the way of experiencing expansive joy. We talked to experts for their advice on what to give up to let greater happiness in. And some very happy people share what they cast aside to live fuller, more purpose-driven lives. Linda and Howard Payne We gave up a permanent address for life on the road.” In 2004, Linda Payne asked her husband, Howard, a simple question: “What’s the point of living the American dream if it’s not making us happy?” Howard was a real-estate attorney who had sold the title company he’d built to a much larger firm. Now he was running seven of their offices and Linda was operations manager for the largest one. They were both 41, had been married for 18 years and had no children by choice. Though they were far from millionaires, their life in Louisville, Kentucky, was comfortable: A 3,750-square-foot home, two cars in the garage, a country club membership. But to squeeze out more profitability, the company had shrunk the workforce from 90 to 35, and it fell to Howard to do the firing. “I was working tons of hours and constantly stressed,” he says. “The pressure was driving a wedge between Linda and me. We’d become more like roommates than spouses.” During a two-week summer wilderness vacation in Alaska where they hiked, fished, went rafting and bird watching, they reconnected. But back home, Linda’s spirits sunk. “I don’t understand,” she remembers thinking, “why we kill ourselves all of our lives just so we can retire and go do the things we want to do then.” She knew it would take something “drastic,” she says, to change their lives. One day the idea of living full time in an RV just “popped into my head.” The two had never even ridden in a recreational vehicle, but Howard was game. With a little online research, he discovered a growing culture of people living in motor homes, many of whom are so-called work campers, or "workampers," for short, who travel from campground to campground for part-time or volunteer jobs. The Paynes quit their jobs, sold their house and in August 2005 hit the road in a motor home and headed for national parks. They counted migrating sea birds, operated a nature tram, restored trails and led visitors on nature walks. Their annual income barely topped $25,000 but their expenses were low. Linda and Howard have since gone on to build a popular website, rv-dreams.com, and they frequently speak at rallies, seminars and conferences at RV shows across the country. “We’re semi-famous in the RV world,” Howard says. But the biggest payoff of their new life together is the closeness they’ve rediscovered. “We don’t have that roommate thing anymore,” Howard says. “We’re a team, we’re best friends.” Ask Linda if she’s happier living without a high-stress job and in a home that’s on wheels and she turns to her husband. “How happy are we, honey?” she asks, then laughs. “We’re way, way happier now. We may not be monetarily rich, but we’re rich in experiences.” Thomas Giordonello I gave up being on social media 24/7” When Thomas Giordonello saw a news clip last August about someone trying to scale Trump Tower with suction cups, something struck him: the guy had really good climbing equipment. A minute later Thomas, a public relations account executive, was on the phone with his client Outside magazine. The next morning an Outside editor hit the morning news shows, offering commentary on the climber’s gear and technique. That kind of vigilance made Thomas very good at his job. But when his boyfriend noted that even during a special night out, he was always distracted by a screen, Thomas knew he needed to make a change. Today, he allows himself “little windows” on weekends to make sure he hasn’t missed something important. “Other than that,” he says, “my phone is in my pocket. While technology is amazing, I’m trying to live more in the moment and I’m really connecting with people. When a friend tells me she went on a date with someone new, instead of my saying, ‘Hey, pull up his photo on Instagram,’ I ask, what did you guys talk about? How did you feel at the end of the date?” When Thomas hosted a recent dinner party for a group of friends he’s known since kindergarten, he put a basket near the front door and asked everyone to check their phones. “While I did notice a friend or two check their phones on the way to the bathroom,” he says, “I can say that the authenticity of the conversation grew exponentially with each phone that went into the basket.” Angela Eastwick I let go of needing other people's approval.” In 2010, Angela Eastwick quit her job at a New York City media training company, sold or gave away nearly everything she owned and moved to Negril, Jamaica, with about $8,000 in savings. Her dream was to open a nightlife touring company on the Caribbean island she had come to love on family vacations growing up. “The life I was living—office work, commuting, cold weather, neighbors who were strangers—wasn’t making me happy,” Angela says. “I felt I was living in repeats of a black and white TV show, and I wanted to live a life of color. Still, there was a lot of pressure not to go. All my friends and family told me I was crazy. My father offered to buy me a condo if I stayed. Everyone thought I’d fail and be home within a year.” Her first few months in Jamaica, Angela lived in a boarding house in the fishing community of Broughton. She had no kitchen, no hot water, no cable, no internet. “It was a humbling, life-changing experience,” Angela says. “But I got used to the cold showers and living a more wholesome, simple life. It’s amazing all the things you think you need that you don’t.” She began her business, JuJu Tours, by strolling Negril’s beaches, offering visitors authentic tours that included swimming holes, waterfalls and small cafes that locals frequented. From the beginning, JuJu Tours has had a giving-back element. Angela asks people to bring along small toys or school supplies from the local dollar store to give out to children. As the company gained success, its charitable reach increased. The Good JuJu Charity Project has adopted and renovated a struggling nursery school in Broughton, and every year since 2012, it’s provided tuition, uniforms, books and lunches for 30 students. Three years ago, with a loan from her father, Angela purchased a broken-down property on the beach to turn into a guesthouse. “It was shabby, dirty and had been hit by Hurricane Ivan and then occupied by squatters,” she says. Repairs took far longer and were more expensive than Angela had anticipated, but in November 2014, Somewhere West finally launched on Airbnb. Along the way, Angela fell in love; she and her partner, Jermelee Limoth, have two young sons. They are renovating their own home now, which is next to the guesthouse. “I don’t care if our home isn’t luxurious,” Angela says. “We have a roof over our heads, a kitchen to cook in and the kids are safe. This journey hasn’t been easy, but my life is filled with purpose and love.” Angela let go of her black-and-white life and embraced happiness in living color. Below are five habits that experts recommend you take a good look at in your life. You may need to ditch these if you really want to choose happiness. 1. Complaining It always rains when I need to go across town. Why can’t they do something about these lines at Starbucks? My boss is driving me crazy, again! It’s easy to go through a day airing one grievance after another. But constant complaining is not only monotonous, a study in the Journal of Social Psychology suggests that repeatedly airing pet peeves about a current or previous partner can undermine relationship satisfaction. Will Bowen was a unity minister at a church in Kansas City when he made it his mission to reduce this torrent of negativity. “A complaint is the opposite of gratitude and acceptance,” he says, “which we know are keys to happiness.” Will created a purple silicone “complaint-free” bracelet. Each time you whine you switch the bracelet from one wrist to the other. The goal is go 21 days without complaining, or long enough to begin to form a peeve-free habit. More than 11 million bracelets have been sold or donated at willbowen.com. It took Will, who would go on to write the book A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted, four months to hit the 21-day milestone. But even if you never string together three complaint-free weeks, gaining awareness can help you change from being a persistent complainer to an effective, and more contented, one. That could mean complaining in moderation and to the proper audience. Guy Winch, Ph.D., author of The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships, and Enhance Self-Esteem suggests having a goal in mind before you voice dissatisfaction. Ask the waiter to warm up your tepid soup rather than lamenting to your four dining companions. 2. Multitasking We check our Twitter feeds while watching Game of Thrones, chat on our hands-free phones when we’re driving home from work, catch up on the news while we’re playing Monopoly with the kids. A ping or buzz is all it takes to divert our attention. “Our brains like novelty and excitement,” says psychiatrist Gary Small, director of the UCLA Longevity Center at the Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. “And our wonderful digital gadgets promise just that. But all this multitasking, or what’s also called partial continuous attention, is putting us in a state of heightened mental stress.” Multitasking, experts say, is actually a misnomer. We’re not really doing two, or more, things at once. Instead, we’re “switch-tasking,” interrupting one activity to focus on another. A 2014 study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that even when this stop-and-restart process takes just three to five seconds—barely enough time to flit from a PowerPoint presentation to your inbox—that’s long enough to double or triple the number of errors participants made in the task they were assigned. “In other words,” Gary says, “we’re becoming faster but sloppier.” Not only does juggling tasks make us error-prone, it undermines any chance of achieving the immersive state that psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., calls flow. “When our brains are jumping around,” Gary says, “there’s a staccato quality to our mental experience. That takes us away from deeper, more profound thoughts and feelings.” Read more: 6 Steps to Unplug From Work 3. Spending Time With Negative People You know that sneezing, sniffling, coughing neighbor? Stay away from her. And, that colleague who predicts every new project is sure to flop? Stay away from him, too. A growing body of research shows that we “catch” emotions, both negative and positive, as easily as we catch viruses. Not only are we susceptible to other people’s negative emotions, our behaviors and cognitions might also change, says Sigal Barsade, Ph.D., the Joseph Frank Bernstein Professor of Management at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, who studies emotional contagion. First we mimic the body language and verbal style of Debbie Downer, her slumped shoulders, angry expression and flat pattern of speech. Then, we start feeling the mood we’ve just witnessed: depression, anxiety, pessimism. And, finally, the mood we’ve now adopted as our own affects our behavior. We turn down an invitation to a friend’s country house because all we can foresee is gnarly traffic and bugs. We certainly don’t want to drop a friend because they’re grieving or depressed. But it’s worth asking yourself, Sigal says, “Do you dislike who you are when you’re with this person? If the answer is yes, you may well be better off limiting your time with them.” If that’s not possible, Sigal suggests three strategies to boost your immunity to toxic colleagues or relatives: First, don’t look at them. “Our attention tends to be drawn to negative people, so don’t let them cross your line of vision. If you’re not looking at someone, you won’t subconsciously start mimicking him.” Second, have compassion and offer the most generous interpretation of their actions and attitude. As long as someone isn’t being abusive, counter her negativity with kindness and compassion. Third, have a conversation. If the person is someone who’s very close to you and they only recently began grousing, you might start by saying something like, “You seem really unhappy lately. Have you thought about what you can do to change things?” 4. Perpetual Motion “Everyone is juggling so much that busyness has become a chronic condition of modern society,” says Hugh Byrne, Ph.D., author of The Here and Now Habit: How Mindfulness Can Help You Break Unhealthy Habits Once and For All. “There’s a tightness in our bodies because we’ve triggered the flight or fight mode. That’s a part of our nervous system that evolved to help us defend ourselves against outside threats, but it’s not a joyful way to live out our whole existence.” And while we’re constantly running, we often feel we’re not getting anywhere because we’re not taking time to reflect on where it is we really want to go. “It’s important,” Hugh says, “to step off the treadmill now and then where there’s no agenda.” Hugh recommends establishing a regular meditation practice, beginning with just five or 10 minutes a day. Sit quietly and breathe deeply in and out, perhaps silently repeating, “Breathing in, calming the body; breathing out, calming the mind.” Try, as well, to sprinkle doses of mindfulness throughout your day. “Enjoy a sacred pause when you’re stopped at a red light,” Hugh says. “When the phone rings, don’t answer it right away. Use the first couple of rings as a reminder to get in touch with your breath. It’s small little transitions like these that allow us to detach from the damaging cycle of low-level stress.” 5. Self-Criticism We’ve all heard a doomsday inner voice that tells us we were a bore at the party, a fool at the meeting, a selfish partner, a deficient parent. For some of us, the voice is ever-present, an automatic response to every situation. “You’ve had these negative thoughts so often, they become a well-trodden neural pathway,” says psychologist Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., author of Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love. “Especially when you’re stressed it’s the shortcut your brain takes.” Forging a new path takes time. UCLA psychiatrist Judith Orloff, author of The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People, says her own spiritual teacher once told her, “Progress occurs when we beat ourselves up a little less every day.” Here are three ways to begin to halt the self-flagellation: Stand in front of a mirror and say kindly, “I look wonderful and I’m a caring, generous person.” Then, in your nastiest tone, say, “I look horrible and I can’t stand myself.” In the first scenario, you’ll likely feel your gut untighten, your breathing become easier. In the second, the opposite will happen. Take in what this teaches you about "the energetic power of your emotions," Judith says. Reframe negative thoughts. Elizabeth suggests asking yourself these questions: “How do I want to see this situation?” “How might someone I admire view it?” “What advice would I give a friend in the same situation?” Move into a judgment-free zone with a new activity. Take a cake decorating class or guitar lessons. “Your goal is to have fun,” Elizabeth says. “That means redefining what I call a ‘win.’ It’s not looking better than someone else, the win is showing up and enjoying the process. And the beauty is when you stop judging and comparing yourself in this new hobby, it can carry over into other areas of your life. Read more: The 10 Things Happy People Don't Do Shelley Levitt is a freelance writer living in Los Angeles and an editor at large for Live Happy. Shelley's other recent features include Can Fermented Food Elevate Your Mood and Srikumar Rao Wants You to Feel Radiantly Alive.
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A joyful yoga class.

Africa Yoga Project Enriches Lives With Movement

Paige Elenson, originally from New York City, was “probably the person that my high school yearbook would have voted ‘least likely to move to Kenya to teach yoga,’” she says. “My life was consumed with the pursuit of success and, in turn, I had some reckless failures of that pursuit. I felt empty, lonely and unhealthy.” Today, seven years after founding the Africa Yoga Project (AYP) in Kenya, she’s come a long way. This month, Paige, AYP co-founder and executive director, along with instructor Patrick Kiragu, will kick off the final day of the World Happiness Summit (WOHASU) in Miami on the right foot, leading attendees in more than an hour of Baptiste Yoga Vinyasa Flow. “I realized through my training with teacher Baron Baptiste that anything is possible if you come from a place of being open to what’s next,” Paige says. “Baptiste Yoga transformed my life, and I was compelled to learn how to share that with others.” Path to discovery In 2006, a family safari vacation to Kenya and Tanzania turned Paige’s world upside down. While watching for wildlife in the African bush, she spotted Kenyan acrobats doing handstands. It was a can’t-miss opportunity for human connection and shared experience. “Although I was told to stay in the jeep, I couldn’t help myself,” she says. “I got out and showed them that I could stand on my hands, too.” Thoughts of Kenya and the acrobats stayed with her. “Finally, after lots of thought, I decided to go back. That trip is what changed it all for me.” She soon returned and found herself staying in the informal settlements of Nairobi, Kenya, where most people live on less than $1 a day. While teaching, Paige met five teenage girls: Catherine, Anita, Irene, Leah and Hadijah. They called themselves the “Ghetto Girls.” The girls, ranging in age from 13 to 19 years old, lived in a small room constructed from metal sheeting with one mattress. Every day they traveled more than two hours to attend yoga class. “They said it made them feel clean, strong and happy,” Paige says. “From there, a connection was born with Kenya, and with the amazing young people who were coming to class. After doing some research, I found out that one of the root challenges that causes such abject poverty is youth unemployment. Over 80 percent of youth in Kenya are unemployed.” Her path became clear. In 2007, Paige formed Africa Yoga Project with yoga teacher Baron Baptiste. “We now train girls and boys to teach yoga as an avenue to education, empowerment and employment. “Kenya chose me, and I said, ‘yes,’” she says. “It was one of the best decisions of my life.” Stretch goals Africa Yoga Project trains and develops local leaders in their communities who are excited about sharing yoga’s lessons of strength and well-being. Each teacher exemplifies AYP’s motto, “lead the change,” as they inspire positive transformation of their communities, Paige says. Today, more than 6,000 people participate in more than hundreds of community yoga classes in 13 African countries, according to africayogaproject.org. More than 200 young people, trained as teachers, earn a living wage by teaching yoga to people who otherwise would not have the opportunity to learn it. “I think what is most exciting about our free outreach classes is how open people’s hearts and minds are once they experience the powerful physical, emotion and community benefits of yoga and meditation,” Paige says. “People feel better and when they feel better, they are equipped to do better. In the words of AYP instructor Patrick [Kiragu], it gives them hope, and hope is one of the most powerful opportunities in the world.” Patrick, who has been practicing and teaching yoga for seven years, looks forward to sharing stories of Africa Yoga Project at WOHASU. “I love being of service; it is what I live for,” Patrick says. “Sharing my talent is a way to be of service. I’m looking forward to learning more about happiness in Miami, making new friends and expanding our community.” Partners in om AYP is a global partner of lululemon’s ‘Here to Be’ social impact program that makes the healing benefits of yoga and meditation accessible through nonprofit partnerships. Lululemon is also a presenting partner of the World Happiness Summit. Karen Guggenheim, WOHASU co-founder and COO, says starting each day of the summit with yoga makes sense because “many of us have experienced the transformative power of practicing yoga and have felt the benefits to overall well-being and mood. Given our partnership with lululemon, it gave us an amazing opportunity to share a practice led by top teachers with seasoned yogis as well as novices.” Practicing yoga for more than 15 years has helped Karen become more resilient, calm and healthy, she says—and she’s happier, too. “My goal, through WOHASU, is to offer people tools that they can implement in their lives in order to make them happy or happier; yoga is one of them.” “Happiness is a muscle that allows you to feel joy when something great happens and acceptance when all else occurs,” Paige says. “Happiness gets developed through challenge and yoga gives you an opportunity to strengthen your happiness muscle every day on your mat.” Find out more at africayogaproject.org or follow them on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter @africayoga. Read more: The World Happiness Summit: What You Need to Know Read more: Ismael Cala Brings Insights to the World Happiness Summit
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