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Let Me Out Helps Unlock Your Creativity

Author Peter Himmelman offers science-based techniques to unlock your creative potential in the book Let Me Out: Unlock Your Creative Mind and Bring Your Ideas to Life. In the book, the award-winning musician and founder of the website Big Muse explains how to use both left- and right-brained thinking to take action on your goals. Knowing who you are and what you stand for gives you strength of purpose, he writes. Take three minutes Set a timer for three minutes and ask: What is my purpose? Or if you prefer: What makes me get up in the morning? Your answer to these big life questions are what Peter calls your “Why you?” statement. Now you can reduce your fear of failure and take immediate action toward the fulfillment of your dreams. Write a let-go letter “Clear the logjam,” Peter writes. Give yourself 10 minutes to write a letter to yourself describing all the things you need to let go of that aren’t serving a positive purpose in your life. This practice can help you get out of a rut and make you feel more energized and inspired. Think like a kid “Young children don’t think about the consequences of playing, they just play,” Peter writes. Accessing this kid-thinking state of mind curbs the fear and judgment that get in your way. Give yourself permission to think like a kid and entertain wild ideas. This process can help you in numerous ways, like thinking of a name for a product or service or coming up with a new idea for your business. Find Let Me Out: Unlock Your Creative Mind and Bring Your Ideas to Life at Amazon and wherever books are sold. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor to Live Happy, and CEO and Founder of themediaconcierge.com.

work

Teach Your Kids to Be Better Co-Workers

As executive coaches, one of the most common things we hear is, “Wow, I have one colleague who is really difficult to work with.” We’re also both moms, so we thought, “What can parents do to instill in their children the attitudes and skills needed to become thoughtful and productive colleagues and leaders of the future?” LESSON 1: Teach kids to ask, “How can I solve this problem?” The first time one of us had a chance to coach her child was when Senia’s daughter didn’t like the sound of the windshield wipers one morning. Senia’s daughter said, “Mama, I don’t like that sound.” Senia replied, “OK, how can we solve that problem?” The 2-year-old replied, “We can’t solve that problem.” Senia countered, “OK, what sound can we make that is louder than the windshield wipers?” “I know!” her daughter said, “I can smoosh this bag in my hand and it makes this sound, and that’s louder.” That was the first time she solved a problem on her own. Senia found that the question, “How can we solve that problem?” has led to a more patient and thoughtful approach to complaints. The question itself, as David Cooperrider of Case Western Reserve University argues, holds the answer within it. If I’m asking myself how I can solve this problem, that implies the solution is findable and that I’m the one who can find it. Read more: How to Raise Empathetic Kids LESSON 2: Advise children to get back up after they fail. Margaret learned that her daughter did her best work at the last minute. In fifth grade, her daughter started an assignment after dinner that was due the next day and realized she had no poster board. Margaret, wanting her daughter to succeed, drove to the store (more than 30 minutes away) and was up late helping her daughter. At her next parent-teacher conference, Margaret told this story with frustration to her daughter’s teacher who simply replied, “What if you hadn’t purchased the poster board?” Margaret let her daughter handle the consequences the next time, and her daughter learned to plan ahead. LESSON 3: Empower kids to resolve their disputes. When kids get into disputes over the same toy, say: “Hey, I’d love to help you both out, but we won’t be able to do the next thing we have planned until you two resolve this.” That sentence puts the onus on them. They don’t need to rely on parents to tell them how to share the toy. Think of such a co-worker—one who looks forward to solving a problem, who jumps back in after failing and can resolve disputes. Is that a person you’d want to work with? Finally, how we talk to our children about work is important. Some teens don’t have part-time jobs because their parents told them, “You’ll be working the rest of your life. Enjoy being in school.” That message conveys that work is a dirty word, rather than something rewarding. Work teaches self-efficacy, responsibility, financial literacy and confidence. Start early for a lifetime of positive results. Read more: Let Happiness Impact Your Bottom Line MARGARET H. GREENBERG and SENIA MAYMIN, Ph.D., are sought-after executive coaches, speakers and positive psychology practitioners, and the authors of the book Profit From the Positive. Find more information about their coaching and certificate programs at ProfitFromthePositive.com.

Lifestyle

5 Awe-Inspiring Travel Destinations

Escaping to far-flung corners of the world inspires the soul, enlightens the mind and creates wondrous moments of joy. If you’re seeking inspiration for your next adventure, these awe-inspiring destinations will leave you longing to explore. The Maasai Mara Ecosystem, Kenya With one of the densest populations of wildlife on earth, the Maasai Mara ecosystem in Kenya’s southwest is a once-in-a-lifetime destination. From hippos to giraffes, herds of creatures intermingle across expanses of prairie grass that disappear along the horizon in all directions. While on safari, you’ll witness the spectacle of unique species you’ve probably never heard of, in addition to the well-known Big Five: the African elephant, leopard, African lion, Cape buffalo and the black rhinoceros. Even if you go on two game drives per day, each experience is unique. Overnighting at a safari lodge, animal calls through the night will lull you to sleep while curious monkeys scamper across your doorstep and an elephant towers over your tent (the surprise encounters are both thrilling and intimidating). Columbia River Gorge, Oregon Beams of sunlight spill through a canopy of old-growth trees as you hike the verdant trails through the Columbia River Gorge, 62 miles north of Oregon's quirky city of Portland. Spanning 292,500 acres, the National Scenic Area was once inhabited by Native Americans and traversed by early pioneers, including Lewis and Clark. Within the region, Punchbowl Falls (featured) is an inspiring setting for a refreshing, albeit frigid, post-trek swim along the banks of Eagle Creek where hikers usually park for a picnic before exploring onward. It’s a breath of fresh air. Nantucket Island, Massachusetts Steeped in American history and the charm of New England, Nantucket Island exemplifies the power of travel to transport you back in time. Beyond shores defined by dune fences and beach grass, its colonial-era buildings and cobblestone streets pay homage to early English settlements. Known as The Little Gray Lady of the Sea for its misty morning fog, the island 30 miles off the coast of Massachusetts will inspire travelers in pursuit of those “only person on Earth” moments. A four-wheel-drive adventure to Great Point Light on the northeastern point of Nantucket provides a view one might describe as “ahh-inspiring.” Dead Sea, Israel Expanding across the barren Negev Desert, Israel’s Dead Sea would make anyone feel full of life. It’s one of the most idyllic places to watch the world wake up as the sun rises over the rose-colored Moab mountains and paints the earth with golden light. During a refreshing swim in the smoldering heat, the water’s high-salinity concentration makes the body stay curiously afloat on the surface. Scores flock to the area to take selfies while floating, reading a newspaper and donning a mineral-rich mud mask sourced from the murky depths of the sea. It’s also worth taking a meditative walk along its banks where the dry, salt-caked earth crunches under your shoes. At 1,360 feet below sea level, the Dead Sea is also one of the lowest points on Earth, which is worth visiting if only for the bragging rights. Ubud, Bali Travelers lured to Bali’s Eat, Pray, Love town in pursuit of tropical love affairs and yoga surely won’t be disappointed. The jungle town’s natural beauty and rich culture thrill the senses and inspire the imagination. In Ubud, fragrant plumes of incense drift from temples on nearly every corner where processions of locals float in and out wearing brightly colored sarongs. An air of reverence makes you feel like you’re part of something greater than yourself, while endless festivals and ceremonies surprise and delight. Feeling adventurous? Start the day with a sunrise hike up Mount Batur—an active volcano—and close the day with a self-guided meditation looking out upon endless fields of glowing green rice paddies. Listen to our podcast: The Happy Traveler With Jamie Kurtz Read more: Embracing Awe Read more: 5 Reasons You Need a Vacation and Happy 100th Birthday National Parks Megan Snedden is a travel writer and photographer whose work has appeared on the BBC, in National Geographic Traveler, USA Today and in many other publications. Find her at megansnedden.com.

science

Embracing Awe

Growing up in a small farming community in the foothills of Mount Rainier in Washington, Melanie Rudd couldn’t explain the sense of reverence she felt every time she gazed up at the imposing peaks. “I grew up hiking and camping, and when I was in the outdoors it changed the way I felt. But I didn’t really know what that was or have a good label for it,” Melanie says. She found a name for those powerful emotions when she began studying awe while pursuing her Ph.D. at Stanford University. Today, as assistant professor of marketing at Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston, her areas of research include time perception, emotions, mood and prosocial behavior—all of which are linked to feelings of awe. “There are several emotions we don’t see a lot of research about and don’t talk much about,” she says. “Awe has been one of those; it’s something that our culture has only [recently] decided is important to talk about.” Awe in action Historically, awe has been largely overlooked by science, even though it is something all of us experience (and benefit from) throughout our lives. It wasn’t until 2003, when Dacher Keltner, Ph.D., of the University of California, Berkeley and Jonathan Haidt, Ph.D., then at the University of Virginia, turned their attention to the study of awe that modern psychology began to see it as a viable emotion worth examining. Since then, it has gradually gained steam and research attention, with a growing body of evidence pointing to its physiological and emotional benefits. One of the researchers presently leading the conversation is Michelle “Lani” Shiota, Ph.D., who heads up the Shiota Psychophysiology Laboratory for Affective Testing (SPLAT Lab) at Arizona State University. As a psychology student with a performing arts background pursuing her graduate degree at University of California, Berkeley, she knew that awe “had been a profound and satisfying part of my life.” She was shocked to learn how little research had been done on it. “Outside the field of psychology, people think of awe as a luxury,” she says. “I call it the Gucci handbag of emotions—people think it’s great if you have one, but it’s not something you really need. The truth is that’s not how emotions work. We have those responses for a reason.” Lani’s mission has been to find out why we’re built to experience awe, what it does to our brains and how it affects us physiologically. While it is known to be an emotional response to stimuli, its benefits have been less simple to pin down. Dacher and Jonathan’s pivotal 2003 research on awe defines it as “the feeling of being in the presence of something vast and greater than the self, that exceeds current knowledge structures.” More simply put, awe is that feeling you get when you witness a stunning sunset, listen to a stirring piece of music or observe a powerful work of art. It can be triggered by a religious or spiritual experience, or caused by a powerful personal experience such as the birth of a child. That results in an intense emotional response that can overlap with such states as wonder, curiosity or even fear. “Awe occurs when you are presented with an experience that is so much bigger than your understanding of the world,” Lani says. “It’s different from other positive emotions, and it has a suite of effects on our physiology, behavior and cognition. It’s this massive intake of information that doesn’t fit with your current world.” That requires a process that Dacher and Jonathan referred to as “accommodating,” in which your thought process must expand in order to understand, or accommodate, what you’ve just experienced. Such a process is one more way that awe and its effects differ from other positive emotions, according to Lani. “Most positive emotions feel activating, they make you want to move,” she says. “Awe slows us down physiologically. It actually reduces our fight-or-flight response and is physically soothing. Awe makes you focus on one thing, in a broad way, and put your attention fully on the experience.” In that way, it is similar to mindfulness and shares some of the same emotional and physiological benefits. It can hit the pause button on our automatic behavior and thought processes and change our emotional states. It even has been found to help correct negative health behaviors such as smoking a cigarette or eating food that you know isn’t good for you. “We now have seen that even a brief dose of awe can help put a brake on us” and redirect our actions, according to Lani. Listen to our podcast with Lani Shiota: Expanding awe Tricia Schers spent much of her young adult life traveling; she has gone whale watching in Hawaii, seen the sea turtles nesting in Suriname and trekked through Thailand. But when she took a marketing job for Frontiers North, an adventure tourism company based in Churchill, Manitoba, Canada, she says her level of awe increased exponentially. “I was three days into the job when they sent me to Churchill to experience one of their tours,” she recalls. “I got to see beluga whales in the wild, nine polar bears—including a mother nursing a cub—and the northern lights. I was blown away.” Even today, she feels that same sense of humbled reverence every time she encounters the rugged, frozen paradise. “There’s a reason people use the word ‘majestic’ when they describe seeing polar bears in their natural environment,” Tricia says. “I can sit and watch the landscape and become completely mesmerized. Somehow you feel the interconnection of the ecosystems; the landscape is rugged, yet you can sense the fragility of it. “It is simply awe-inspiring.” While the use of the word “awe” may have worn down its true significance (just note the overuse of “awesome!” in daily conversation), the fact is that true awe is a deeply felt emotion with powerful implications. The feelings it generates tap into the sense of vastness that help de ne awe, and it’s connected to what researchers call “the overview effect.” The phrase was originally coined by space philosopher and writer Frank White, Ph.M., in 1987 to describe the cognitive shift that occurs in astronauts when they view Earth from space. Viewing Earth from such a perspective was shown to trigger a profound sense of awe and a sense of connectedness with their universe among space travelers. Frank found that many astronauts felt the experience so transformative that they returned to Earth with a renewed sense of purpose. The good news, for those of us who don’t have access to a spaceship, is that similar reactions can be derived from viewing images from space. Awe also can be cultivated, as Melanie and Tricia found, by experiencing nature. “A lot of it has to do with an increased sense of connectedness in the moment,” explains David Yaden, a research fellow at the University of Pennsylvania in the Positive Psychology Center and co-author of the paper, “The Overview Effect: Awe and Self-Transcendent Experience in Space Flight,” published last year in the journal Psychology of Consciousness: Theory, Research, and Practice. His research looks at the overview effect as a way to better understand awe and self-transcendence, or the ability to lose ourselves and feel connected to “a bigger picture.” “Most of our worries and concerns are derived from a hyperfocus on our self,” he points out. “When that focus on our self is reduced, so, too, are many of our concerns. And when you feel you are less of a center for concern, you feel more connected to people.” Experiencing a sense of awe, he says, immediately removes the focus from self and resets our thinking to see our surroundings differently. “Evidence shows that awe might be an important part of the mental health diet,” he says. “It’s associated with well-being and with pro-social behavior. So if you care about increasing your overall well-being, awe is one way to do that. We still don’t know exactly how or why, but it’s safe to say that awe forms a pathway to well-being.” He says the last decade has seen interest in awe increase as more research has been released to show its causes as well as its effects. Each study adds to its credibility while at the same time raising new questions that can be explored, such as whether certain traits make us more open to experience awe and how long its impact lasts. David is currently working with Dacher to help build “a more robust scale” for measuring awe’s benefits. “Sometimes the value of these experiences is hard to pin down,” he says. “But if you ask someone about their most awe-inspiring moment, they will see it as something that was profoundly meaningful.” Slowing the clock As awe gains more traction as a research topic, more aspects and benefits are being examined. Among the more interesting outcomes, Melanie has found in her ongoing research at the University of Houston that awe can be useful in changing our perception of time. “This could be particularly useful because today people feel increasingly pressed for time,” she says. “When you look at what time pressure and time famine are doing to us, it’s not healthy.” When we’re pressed for time, we tend to eat on the run (and make poorer food choices), have lower levels of life satisfaction and will postpone self-care, such as doctor and dental appointments. We’re also more likely to over-purchase goods, even though we may not need them. While most of us feeling the crunch of the clock wish for just a few more hours in the day, perhaps what we really need is just a little more awe in our lives. “Rather than try to change the amount of time people have, we look at how to change their perception of that time,” Melanie says. Her studies reinforce Lani’s work showing that awe requires you to be in the moment. “When you are in the experience of awe, it really sucks you in,” she explains. “You can’t wander into the past or the future. You are in the present, and you’re taking in all the sights and sounds and smells of that moment.” As your brain works to process and encode these changes in the environment and your emotions, “time feels more expansive, more full and rich.” Because you crammed so much information into this time, the perception is that time slows down. And along with that sense of having extra time comes less irritability and a greater tendency to give others the gift of your time. “[In our studies] when people looked at the diary of what they had experienced, it really did look like they had more time,” Melanie says. “They were more inclined to volunteer, which had additional benefits by giving them that ‘helper’s high.’ No matter how much money you make, the common thread between us is that everyone is pressed for time. Maybe if we find ways to alleviate the time stress, we’ll start to make better decisions for our well-being.” Incorporating awe If awe is one pathway to well-being, it is a pathway with many entry points. Researchers often use pictures or virtual reality in the laboratory setting to create a sense of awe in their subjects. For those of us who aren’t being studied, it’s much easier. It doesn’t require a trip to the Grand Canyon or to see the northern lights; you can find awe in your own home, your backyard or with friends. “You have to know what has a better chance of eliciting an awe response for you, personally,” Melanie advises. “It can be nature or music or art or even other people’s accomplishments. Think about what inspires you.” She suggests seeking out new experiences. Whether that’s visiting a park you haven’t been to before, taking an exotic trip or just getting out and meeting new people, a new experience “increases the odds that you’ll find something awe-inspiring,” Melanie says. And, when you do find it, collect it. Save pictures or videos in a computer folder to look at when you’re feeling like you need a boost; you might be surprised how much good it does you. “By the time we hit adulthood, we’re on autopilot; we kind of have to be,” Lani adds. “We store knowledge and do the same thing day after day, and that’s good, because that’s what expertise is. But it doesn’t necessarily feel great. “Practicing awe breaks us out of autopilot. And it feels nice to break out and be aware of what’s around us in the world.” Read more: 5 Awe-Inspiring Destinations Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.

science

#HappyFacts: Sync and Swing

Each week, Live Happy Radio presents #HappyFacts designed to enlighten, educate and entertain you. Here’s a look at what we’re talking about this week: Paying your bills makes you happy OK, well, maybe it’s not the actual bill-paying part that puts some extra spring in your step and brings a smile to your face, but the effects of paying those bills are enormous. A study from Purdue University found that being in debt lowers your level of subjective well-being, or how you experience the quality of your life. While many studies have looked at how much money it takes to reach a state of well-being, few have looked at how the debt-to-income ratio affects us. And, it turns out, debt is a huge detractor from our happiness, regardless of how much we make, accounting for about 40 percent of our life satisfaction. What still needs to be studied is how different types of debt affect us – say, paying a mortgage for a home you love vs. paying a hospital bill – but until then, it appears that paring down your debt is good for your soul as well as your credit score. Find out if money really makes people happier Sync and swing Do you want your kids to get along better? Next time they’re fighting, try sending them to the swing set instead of to their rooms. According to a study published online in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, the synchronous movement found while swinging can help children once they leave the playground by teaching them to be more collaborative. That’s because the synchronous movement that occurs while swinging requires the children to pay attention to one another and they begin engaging each other to maintain the same rhythm. (Similar outcomes are found when children march or make music together.) So if you want to teach your kids more about cooperation, maybe it’s time to head to the playground! Learn why grown-ups need recess, too Get a blast from the past Thinking about the good old days can actually make you feel better about the here and now. That’s the conclusion of a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. According to their findings, thinking fondly about the past can create psychological comfort and combat feelings of loneliness. Those warm memories help raise our self-esteem and overall feelings of well-being which, in turn, generates more optimism about the future. So next time you’re feeling a little blue, step back in time for a few moments and see what it can do for your mood! Explore happiness rituals from ancient times

Self-Care

Use Lifelogging to Maximize Your Potential

For many of us, the intrusion of “Big Data” into our lives is truly frightening. It means someone (some company) is out there tracking information about us and using it for their own purposes. They know our likes and dislikes, our temptations and our strengths, and our decision-making behaviors. While debates about the pros and cons of Big Data rage on, the truth is, it’s not going away anytime soon. I think a more interesting question is: If companies are willing to spend millions of dollars to understand our behavior, why aren’t we using this personal data to understand ourselves better? In an online movement dubbed the Quantified Self, individuals from over 30 countries have joined together to “lifelog” (track) and share personal data in attempts to better understand human nature. Lifelogging is the process of digitally tracking your personal data. While it may seem like an odd endeavor, it’s likely you’ve done it without even realizing it. If you’ve used a fitness tracker, pedometer, sports watch or even an iPhone (which automatically tracks your steps), you’ve lifelogged. Nearly 69 percent of Americans are already tracking at least one health metric, whether it’s in the form of calories burned, quality of sleep or heart rate. Aside from a desire to lose weight or improve fitness, you may be wondering why individuals involved in the Quantified Self would bother to track and share their personal data. The answer simply comes down to curiosity and a desire to improve oneself. It’s the ultimate expression of growth mindset in the Digital Age. Lifeloggers have been able to identify illnesses, control levels of anxiety or depression, increase productivity, and improve their overall lifestyles. In one case, lifelogging has even helped to save a life. Steven Keating discovered a life-threatening tumor that would have remained hidden were it not for a combination of lifelogging and the fact that he had volunteered to participate in a university research study. The study included an MRI scan, which revealed Steven had a slight abnormality. Three years after the initial scan, he underwent another MRI, which showed the abnormality had remained the same (good news). Four years later, however, Steven noticed that he smelled vinegar for about 30 seconds every day. For most, smelling vinegar for less than a minute a day would go unnoticed. But Steven’s lifelogging had focused his awareness, which prompted him to get a third MRI. That MRI revealed that his abnormality had grown into a baseball-size tumor. Fortunately, he had the mass surgically removed and has been able to carry on with his life. The process of lifelogging via wearables or apps taps into our innate curiosity and desire to problem-solve. While not all of us are savvy enough to read an MRI, we do have numerous tools at our fingertips that give us greater insight into our own minds and bodies. From fitness trackers to time trackers, productivity measures to sleep measures, a plethora of options capture and analyze data easily using our smartphones. Here are a few of my favorites: Addapp can pull data from multiple apps on your phone to make suggestions for diet and exercise based on past behavior. The app might recognize that your sleep quality has declined along with activity level. However, if you were able to take just 2,000 more steps each day, you could significantly increase your chances of getting better sleep in the coming week. RealizD tracks how you spend your time on your phone. By capturing data about how many times you unlock your phone, how long you spend on it, and what you are doing when online, RealizD provides insight into your behavior, and accountability for decreasing your digital addictions. LifeCycle works in the background of your phone to track time spent at work, home, shopping, enjoying entertainment and more. The goal is to help you raise your awareness of how you spend your time so you can align your goals and intentions with your actions. Journalyfor the Mac and iPhone helps you privately journal about your life. You can manually operate it or auto-journal, by allowing your phone to track destinations, weather, fitness, travel and sleep. Instant tracks your entire life automatically and puts it on your dashboard. Lifelog your phone usage time, places you go, fitness, sleep and travel. In many ways, these apps simply provide a starting place for gathering information and insight into your behaviors. With the exception of Addapp, all require you to draw your own conclusions; however, it’s not hard to imagine that in the near future these apps will become increasingly smart and more predictive. Imagine if you could ask your phone to distract you when you approach a temptation while trying to kick a bad habit. What gets me excited about lifelogging is the prospect of being able to create a renaissance in my own life, using the small insights to create positive change. As you begin to experiment with behavior and mindset changes over the next few weeks, here are five guiding questions that can help you develop a practice of continual learning. How does the data that you gather compare/contrast to the past? How does this data compare/contrast to that of the people around me? What information looks false or might be missing? What factors shaped these outliers or unusual data points? And most important, given this information, how do I need to tweak my behavior for the future? As you embark on this new adventure, I would love to hear how your lifelogging is going. Share your story or ideas with me at amyblankson.com/story and together we will continue to pursue a future of happiness. Listen to our podcast with Amy: The Future of Happiness Read more from Amy: The Internet of Things Brings the Future Home Amy Blankson, aka the ‘Happy Tech Girl,’ is on a quest to help individuals balance productivity and well-being in the digital era. Amy, with her brother Shawn Achor, co-founded GoodThink, which brings the principles of positive psychology to lifeand works with organizations such as Google, NASA and the U.S. Army. Her new book is called The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-being in the Digital Era.

Nature

Happiness Is a Walk in the Park

When Nayab Saiyed moved to Plano, Texas, from Vermont in 2015, he didn’t know a single person in the state. While the 38-year-old software architect and his wife were scouting the area for prospective houses and suitable schools, he found himself staring at something that gave him flashbacks to his childhood in India: a bowler and a batsman battling in between the wickets. This familiar scene was being played on well-manicured regulation cricket fields at the Russell Creek Park, the only public park in the United States with seven fields dedicated to the sport. Amazingly, Nayab, a lifelong fan, just stumbled upon it. “We saw these people playing cricket, and I was literally in awe,” he recalls. “My god, for a guy like me, this is heaven.” From that point on, he didn’t care where he and his family lived, as long as his house was close to that park. It’s been just over a year now and he spends nearly every weekend playing cricket with a group of guys he met who were in his same situation: expats from various Southeast Asian countries looking for something to remind them of home. “It’s like brotherly. We go for dinner or lunch after every game. We have a tradition to go to a restaurant as a group,” Nayab says. “We celebrate victories and good performances. We encourage people.” For Nayab and his friends, this kind of activity is not only a game-changer in their personal lives, it is also good for community well-being. A recent collaborative study using data collected from sources such as the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index and the Trust for Public Land finds that maintained public parks and green spaces in U.S. urban areas have myriad benefits to the economy, the environment and for residents’ health and happiness. Why green is good Most of our history as human beings has been spent outdoors, so keeping ourselves cooped up inside buildings and houses seems almost unnatural. Because of growth, densely populated metros have gobbled up most of the green spaces. Studies reveal negative consequences when we don’t have access to parks, trees, nature trails and waterways. This can pave the way for poor health, poverty and even crime. Research scientists Viniece Jennings, Ph.D., with the United States Forest Service and Lincoln R. Larson, Ph.D., an assistant professor in the Department of Parks, Recreation, and Tourism Management at North Carolina State University, are working hard to prove why public parks and green spaces are good for our individual mental and physical health, as well as the well-being of the surrounding communities. “We are just now—in the past decade—really starting to understand what connection to green space does for our physical and psychological well-being,” Lincoln says. “We need to take bigger steps and understand the role these spaces play in satisfaction and social cohesion, fostering social capital and getting to know your neighbors in these safe spaces. We need to think about well-being more holistically and parks and green space, particularly in urban areas, being at the center of that find what that sustainable and healthy future looks like.” Without these green spaces, we can start to develop what journalist, author and nature advocate Richard Louv coins as a nature-deficit disorder, or a loss of connection to the outdoor world, especially in young people. While it is not a medical diagnosis, it does raise the question of what can happen when we isolate ourselves from the natural world with emerging technology and modern housing that keeps us indoors. “Space plays a powerful role in our outlook and health,” Viniece says. “It’s not just a combo of what we eat or our genetics, but it is also where we live, where we work and where we play. The options that are in our environment can help us have active lifestyles and positive perceptions of life.” In Lincoln and Viniece’s multiple joint studies, they find that exercising outdoors compared with inside is strongly associated with positive mental health. Without places for people to stay active, sedentary lifestyles increase with negative impacts on their cardiovascular health. Socially, neighborhoods with more parks report increased interaction among residents, which adds to stronger bonds and life satisfaction. “Parks can really help community well-being,” Viniece says. “And that is an important part of livable cities and can influence where people plan to move.” “When you take the green out of the cities, you are also losing these places for social interaction and fostering that kind of engagement that is an essential aspect of humanity,” Lincoln adds. “If you don’t have these spaces, it is hard to replicate that in other settings.” Lincoln also points out that local parks and greenways have shown to be great economic centers and cultural hubs with the added benefit of environmental sustainability. An example is his recent assessment of The 606 trail in Chicago, which is an old train line converted into a 3-mile linear bike and hike trail. Since opening nearly two years ago, Lincoln says their research shows that property values have increased and crime rates decreased in the neighborhoods closest to the trail. Trails and greenways “create corridors of connectivity between neighborhoods, home and work, and facilitate sustainable transportation that eases the environmental burden caused by exhaust and greenhouse gases,” Lincoln says. “It also means a happier population because they are enjoying the commute.” City of parks The state of Minnesota may be the land of 10,000 lakes, but in Minneapolis, the park system is the crown jewel, at least according to the Trust for Public Land, which rated the city’s park system the best in the country multiple years in a row. Jayne Miller, Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board superintendent since 2010, says that the park system has a long and rich history. Created by the legislature in 1883 and ratified by the voters, the parks board has been operating independently from the city and managing the park system for 134 years. “We are a city actually built around the park system,” Jayne says. Now 95 percent of the population has access to a park or green space within a 10-minute walk and can travel throughout the city’s trail system without seeing a car. “When people are asked why they live in Minneapolis, the first thing out of their mouths is the parks,” Jayne says. “Because of the park system, we have that quality of life.” Tammy Severe, a 55-year-old project manager, agrees. She says people don’t have to look very far to find a park or a trail. She keeps tennis shoes, a lawn chair and a blanket in her car for when she gets the urge to decompress for a spell. “There’s the beauty of nature, but a lot of these parks have social activities: fairs, festivals, family reunions,” she says. “It’s definitely a core part of Minneapolis.” Tammy has connected with several different groups through Meetup.com, including the Outdoor and Snow Lovers group, that meet weekly to walk the area lakes, hike through historic parts of the city or stroll through the arboretum after work. “Everyone is there for a common reason and you have all walks of life,” she says. “It’s a built-in social group.” Parks also help residents maintain active lifestyles, essential for well-being. Runner’s World named Minneapolis the seventh “Best Running City” and the American College of Sports Medicine American Fitness Index ranked it second “Fittest City.” “I have worked in a number of communities that have strong park systems and a strong ethos around parks and recreation, but nothing greater than the city of Minneapolis,” Jayne says. “People get it, they value it and they use it year-round. They know what it does to contribute to their high quality of life here.” And they back it up with their tax dollars by approving funding campaigns, raising awareness through citizen advisory committees and convincing the city council to earmark extra funds for park maintenance and restoration. Over the next 20 years, that will amount to nearly $250 million in additional funding. “We don’t make decisions about investments without working it through with the communities and the neighborhoods,” Jayne says. With the residents fully involved, Jayne and the rest of the board have the freedom to maintain a fully functional park system throughout the whole city, including areas where green space is more difficult to access. “Having these places to go that are easily accessible to get out and be active, be with friends, be social, whatever you do for yourself that gives you that strength as to who you are as an individual also strengthens the community,” Jayne says. “In urban areas where socioeconomic divisions are greater, ensuring that everyone has access to that space, to get on a trail and walk or take a bike, sit on a park bench or have a picnic, it is fundamental to the health and well-being of people.” A case for green space Not all large cities in the United States have the luxuries afforded to places like Minneapolis or an independently governed parks board or Plano with an emerging tax base and growing economy. Indianapolis, Indiana, ranks near the bottom of the Trust for Public Land’s 2016 list at 95 out of the 100 largest cities in the U.S. While Indianapolis has more than 11,000 acres of parkland compared to the 5,064 acres in Minneapolis, that only makes up 5.1 percent of the city’s area and only 32 percent of the population can access it. According to the trust, Indianapolis spends roughly $26 per person on its parks. If you compare that number to Minneapolis, which spends $223, or Plano, which spends about $120, there are not a lot of resources to work with. Indianapolis is part of a city-county government, with resources divided among multiple towns and municipalities. Finding money is difficult, but Indy Parks Director Linda Broadfoot doesn’t dispute the need for a healthy and vibrant parks system to help spur the local economy and maintain positive health and well-being within the city. “We are not focused on the number; we are focused on how we serve the community,” she says, adding that Indy Parks manages more than 125 playgrounds, 135 miles of trails, 155 sports fields and 210 parks as well as feeding more than 400,000 hungry kids annually. Part of her challenge is getting people to understand the value of parks and why green spaces are good not only for the health and happiness of the individual but also for the city’s economic development and quality of life. “The lesson I had to learn is that it is not obvious to everyone,” Linda explains. “We can show that [being near a park] is good for property values. There is just something inherently good about being next to these places.” Parks are about planning It’s clear that the people who work and run city parks and recreation agencies have a common dedication to improving the quality of life in their respective communities. Because of the urban planning that took place in the 1980s, when Plano was a small but burgeoning bedroom community, most of the neighborhoods were built around schools with a park in the center within every square mile. It took a lot of different departments and groups, including the public working together, but it was important to the city to maximize the open space and make sure kids are next to schools and parks. Renee Jordan, chief park planner for Plano, says that neighborhood parks are designed to be within walking distance. “These spaces are important for people who live in intense urban and suburban cities,” she says. “They need to feel renewed and refreshed.” Renee also says it’s important for planners to anticipate the changing needs of the population. For example, in the 1970s and ‘80s when Plano’s master plan was being developed, no one anticipated a need for cricket fields. She says Plano is adapting to those needs to make sure there is a little something for everyone, including equipment that accommodates children with special needs. Catering to a changing demographic and interests can mean installing more soccer and cricket fields, or adding courts for different sports like pickleball, popular among retirees, or designated skate parks, popular among youths. Urban parks and trails may be costly upfront, but according to a recent review released by the American Journal of Health Promotion, it is the most cost-effective way to increase physical activity and health among dense populations. For Nayab, it’s more than just exercise—he also found happiness. Just one year after starting his cricket club, Nayab and his new friends are now champions of the Dallas Cricket League, and it all started with a neighborhood public park. “All the guys in my Meetup group were just like me, we didn’t know how to get started at first,” he says. “We found a home—similar backgrounds and experiences and we get along well—all of Southeast Asia is represented in our group. It has been a great experience.” Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine. His last feature story was Find Your Funny Bone.

Self-Care

Cut the Complaint Habit

Everyone complains. Whether it’s about being stuck in traffic, baking in the sun at a sporting event, or rising prices and bills piling up, we all do it. While complaining is inherently negative, it does have some value—it is a social unifier. People can, and often do, bond over shared complaints. When the lines at the grocery store are long and slow-moving, you might complain to the person in front of you and develop a connection. That happened to me recently, and the woman and I ended up chatting so much that we found each other on Facebook while walking out of the store! This type of complaining experience is positive: We vented, connected and made a friend. The trouble begins when complaining becomes part of your personality and starts a cycle of negativity. I have one friend who opens every conversation with a gripe. Even, “How are you?” elicits a list of complaints about everything from her kids and her husband to not having enough coupons for Bed Bath & Beyond. Being around her becomes tiring, and even she admits that so much complaining leaves her drained. So, when is complaining helpful and when it is hurtful? To find the answer, I have created two categories: positive complaining and negative complaining. Here are some examples of how complaining can be used in a positive way: Complaining can act as an emotional release. There are times when holding in our feelings can create stress and anxiety. If you are struggling at work with a difficult colleague or client, venting or complaining to a trusted co-worker can help you manage, and sometimes even problem-solve, the situation. If you are worn out because your kids are waking you up early or won’t get ready for school, complaining to them will probably not help the situation, but often sharing with a friend who can relate and sympathize will at least make you feel better. Complaining can help you rally community, social or emotional support. Speaking out about problems at home, at your job or, on a wider scale, at your local school or in your city can bring support from and connect you with like-minded people. You may even find that you can band together to effect change. Websites such as change.org have become large platforms for people with similar “complaints” to work together to take action and create social change. Complaining can build rapport and make connections. As I mentioned in the grocery store example above, complaining can be a way to bond with others. In my work with businesses and organizations, one technique we use often is a focus group. Employees sit in a room with me, without upper management, and are given an opportunity to vent about issues and brainstorm suggestions to improve the workplace environment. These meetings are not only effective for the company, but I have found that the employees also feel a sense of unity with one another afterward. Complaining can lead to problem-solving. When we take time to focus on what we are upset about, it inspires us to improve the situation. I often tell couples to make a list of their gripes about each other so they can begin to problem-solve in order to improve their relationship. Here are examples of negative complaining: Getting caught in the cycle of complaint. When we complain, we often hope for two things: that someone will listen and that someone will fix the situation. When you get caught up in the cycle of complaining and miss out on the action step of actually trying to solve your problem, you may feel frustrated or even helpless. Unless you are just venting and you know it, when you launch into a litany of complaints, think to yourself, do I have a solution in mind or am I just ruminating and focusing on the negative? If there is something you are unhappy about, how might you change it? Complaining so much that it impacts your mood. Negative thoughts can cause negative feelings. If you spend too much time in a dark state of mind, constantly focusing on what is wrong in your life, it can impact your overall feelings of well-being. If you find yourself in a complaining cycle or are faced with situations that make you want to lament often, make an effort to infuse more positive thoughts into your life. Complaining about issues we cannot control. While complaining sometimes helps with problem-solving, this is not true when we have no control over the troublesome situation. This kind of complaining can put us into a loop of negativity in which we feel stuck and helpless. I once had a client who regularly focused on the fact that she had poor vision and needed to wear glasses or contacts. She focused on it so often that she would get upset every morning when she would get ready to go out. Her husband began leaving the house before she woke up to avoid her complaining. Mornings were so bad, she confessed, that she did not want to be around herself either! If you find yourself in this type of dilemma, work on ways to accept things you cannot change and put your energy into things that you can change. Read more by Stacy Kaiser: How to Give Advice and 10 Ways to Turn Around an Argument So Both Sides Win Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling bookHow to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Knowand an editor at large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.

Reading

10 Best Books for Happy Parenting

Happy parents laugh at themselves, toss perfection to the curb and realize parenting is often a beautiful mess. They learn from their kids and discover that other parents share the same struggles. Yes, finding time to read a book can be a challenge—especially for new parents—but once you do, these 10 books contain wisdom that will last you at least until the kids leave for college. 1. Sleepless Nights and Kisses for Breakfast: Reflections on Fatherhood by Matteo Bussola A designer and cartoonist, Matteo Bussola lives in Italy with his wife, Paola, and three young daughters (ages 8, 4 and 2). In this self-deprecating memoir of fatherhood, Matteo has a gift for making us see the beauty in the ordinary moments of being a parent. 2. Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters by Erica Komisar This isn’t a book about working versus staying home, but one that makes a case for being present—emotionally and physically—as much as possible during your baby’s first three years. Working mom Erica Komisar, a licensed clinical social worker,encourages a “more is more” philosophy in which you reduce distractions and focus on quality time with your baby. The oxytocin that is produced during mom-baby bonding provides babies with the nurturing they need to be emotionally healthy and happy, and makes moms feel happier, too. 3. Bossypants by Tina Fey Get ready for a well-deserved laugh as writer, actress and producer Tina Fey faces her most daunting challenge: motherhood. Watch as Tina attempts to be taken seriously at work, navigate the in-laws and shake off the guilt that comes from feeling bored when you no longer find your child’s jokes funny. “Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions. Do your thing and don’t care if they like it,” she writes. 4. The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children by Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D. Parenting isn’t about raising a “mini me” but a spirit shining with its own signature, writes Dr. Shefali Tsabary. Rather than viewing children as ours to control with quick parenting fixes, the book says, ask yourself what your child is teaching you about yourself. Our children can show us how to live with a greater state of presence that can make us more peaceful parents. 5. Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents by Christine Carter, Ph.D. Christine Carter, Ph.D., draws on her research in sociology and psychology to give actionable do’s and don’ts for raising happier kids. “What makes us truly happy is letting go of our fantasies about the future and engaging in the journey, in the process, and in the present moment,” Christine writes. Discover how to raise kids who have gratitude and are kind, while avoiding the pitfalls of trying to be a perfect parent. 6. Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross What if doing less for your kids helped them more? The authors of this road map to a simpler way of parenting are looking back to simpler times when childhood meant plenty of time and space to play. They also suggest reducing unnecessary clutter and scaling back from overscheduling in order to let your kids enjoy their freedom. 7. Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood—The Good, The Bad, and The Scary by Jill Smokler Based on a popular blog started by the author, scarymommy.com, this book tackles the realities of parenting. Let go of all the “bad mom” guilt, says Jill Smokler, and realize your kids will be fine if you let them fall asleep in front of the TV or if you help a little too much with their homework. “Being a parent is dirty and scary and beautiful and hard and miraculous and exhausting and thankless and joyful and frustrating all at once. It’s everything,” she writes. So stop beating yourself up. 8. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham, Ph.D. With a doctorate in clinical psychology, author Laura Markham focuses on helping readers establish a close emotional connection with their child from the very beginning in order to create lasting change. Once this vital connection is established, she says, parents won’t have to bribe or plead with their kids to get them to behave. Learn the keys to this and other strategies for positive parenting. 9. The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity by Meg Meeker, M.D. “Mothers are expected to do it all: raise superstar kids, look great, make good salaries, keep an immaculate house, be the perfect wife,” writes Meg Meeker, a pediatrician and counselor. Take a walk away from the pressure and try on a few of the habits listed in this book. Make real friends, she advises, not just acquaintances; spend some time alone to revive once in a while; and do less more often. 10. Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child From Zero to Five by John Medina, Ph.D. John Medina, a developmental molecular biologist and dad, shares funny anecdotes about the way a young child’s brain develops—and what you can do to optimize that development. Find out why Dad should do more around the house, and how teaching your child impulse control is the best way to get them to go to college. Read more: 10 Quick Fixes Every Parent Should Know Listen to our podcast: Raising Confident and Creative Kids With Heather Shumaker Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor to Live Happy, and the founder and CEO of themediaconcierge.net.

Lifestyle

Sleep-Away Camps for Adults Offer Play, Transformation

“I used to be a nihilistic atheist. I was miserable. I attracted sad, miserable people. I would post angry diatribes on Facebook,” says Eric Garside, a 31-year-old software developer from New York City. “Now I only want to post inspiring things to make people think that a better life is achievable. I am a fundamentally different person now than I was before.” This is how Eric describes the metamorphosis he experienced at Soul Camp, one of several sleep-away camps for adults that have been popping up like freckles on a redhead’s nose from Big Sur, California, to the Adirondack Mountains in New York. Less than a decade ago, the concept of camps for adults was unheard of; after all, why would anyone pay money to sleep in a bunk bed and get bug bites? Yet now, with nearly a dozen camps opening in just the past five years, the trend has clearly caught on. Whether people are seeking a community based on genuine acceptance, a chance to chill out and have fun in nature, or a truly transformative experience, camps for grown-ups are springing up because they offer all this and more. The camps usually last three to four nights and vary in style and theme, from the classic summer camps you might remember as a kid—with color wars, kick the can and eating in a mess hall (albeit with better food)—to a full-on wellness retreat, complete with expert workshops and classes. A study of more than 5,000 families done by the American Camp Association between 2001 and 2004 found that kids who go to camp experience a boost in self-esteem, social skills, adventurousness, spiritual growth and other markers of well-being—and judging from what adult campers say, grown-ups come away with remarkably similar benefits. Clearly, the alchemical mixture of joining a tribe of fellow campers, being out in nature and having opportunities for growth and introspection is producing much more than a pleasant vacation among the trees. In fact, it’s sending people back home with a newfound confidence and optimism as well as a bevy of new best friends. A welcoming community “American adults are lonely. We spend a staggering amount of time alone in front of screens. There is a yearning for community that camps offer,” says Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D., author of Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow. Camp Throwback, one of the original grown-up camps, was started in the woodlands of southwestern Ohio by body acceptance guru Brittany Gibbons—known for her TED Talk, popular blog Brittany, Herself and 2015 book, Fat Girl Walking: Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin…Every Inch of It. According to Brittany, the camp started almost by accident: “I just wanted a cool place for my readers to get together,” she says. “I had worked at a huge Meatballs-style summer camp after college, so that gave me the idea.” The site where Brittany holds camp can accommodate 120 campers; the first time she put tickets up for sale in 2014, they sold out in less than two days. “I really didn’t think a bunch of adults would pay money to come to a summer camp,” she says, laughing. “I was surprised to see how many other weirdos were out there.” At the beginning, most of those who signed up were Brittany’s fans, and so were already familiar with the themes of self-love and body acceptance she champions. But even newer campers unfamiliar with her work get Camp Throwback’s ethos of total acceptance pretty much the minute they arrive (Brittany describes it as “You’re OK, I’m OK”). Angela Morales, a 31-year-old customer service representative from Los Angeles, found Camp Throwback through a friend. “It’s hard to make friends as an adult,” says Angela. “I definitely became more confident in myself at camp because I didn’t know most of the people there, but right away, you’re all just friends. And you remember, ‘Oh yeah, I can do this.’ Age doesn’t matter. How many times you’ve been [to Camp Throwback] doesn’t matter.” At the end of the long weekend, Angela says, “There is a good 15-minute cry session when you leave camp. You realize that one of your good friends now lives in Wisconsin, [one] in Pennsylvania....We send each other texts like, ‘Only 72 days left until camp!’” See our list of the 20 Best Sleep-Away Camps for Adults The leveling effect Dawn Carlstrom, 52, feels the same way. When the wife and mother from Corcoran, Minnesota, first went to Campowerment, an all-women’s sleep-away camp in the hills above Malibu, California, she had never flown on an airplane by herself. Now she can’t wait to return for her fourth visit. “There is a whole community of women now who have my back,” she says. Tammi Leader Fuller is the founder of Campowerment, which operates in Pennsylvania’s Poconos Mountains as well as the Malibu location. The former Hollywood producer grew up on the East Coast going to camp for two months out of every summer, and she spent the rest of the year looking forward to those eight weeks. “Camp was my happy place. It’s where you could be who you wanted to be and not who your parents wanted you to be,” says Tammi. Now she works hard to create a safe place where women can open up to each other on the deepest level, whether participating in a journaling circle or pushing themselves past previous limits with a physically challenging ropes course. At Campowerment, the energizing workshops go from sunrise yoga through the evening’s epic lip-sync battle of the bunks. You can attend Decluttering Your Soul, Noticing Your Bliss, Jumping Fitness With Jakub or Energy Healing With Peggy. All the workshops are held outside, and the experts also participate, giving a sense of full openness and vulnerability to the proceedings. On the first day there, you are not allowed to say what you do for a living. That, along with the genuine, accepting atmosphere creates a leveling effect at the camp, according to Dawn, so it doesn’t matter whether you are an actress, a homemaker or an architect. “You’re in sweats all weekend,” says Dawn, and you soon “realize that everybody is dealing with their own crap.” On Dawn’s first trip, she bunked with a group of extraordinary women, aged 21 to 65, who dubbed themselves the “Bug Juice Bitchezzz.” Five of the women have since become so close that they travel and meet up all over the country. They recently joined Dawn in Minnesota and did a “polar plunge.” When one of the group’s original bunkmates, Rocky, was sick and dying from breast cancer, the women rallied to her bedside, with camp photos in hand, and were there when she took her last breath. Later the friends returned to camp and founded a scholarship in Rocky’s name so that less fortunate women could attend. “I just wish every woman could have this experience,” Dawn says. Back to nature “Everything is more intense at camp,” says Eric, of Soul Camp, which hosts camps in California, Illinois and New York. “The night is more like night. The day is more like day. The stars, the splendor of nature [are all] around you.” This magic even has a scientic name: biophilia, or love of nature. According to John Zelenski, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, and author of several studies on the connection between nature and happiness, “Immersing someone in nature—even [for just] a 15-minute walk—increases people’s positive emotions. It makes them feel more alive, but also more relaxed.” John’s research also shows that being in nature—or even just looking at it—can make people more pro-social and cooperative with others. Perhaps it is no coincidence, then, that all this bonding and boundary-breaking is happening out in the wilderness, and not at a wellness retreat at the Hyatt. “People report a sense of fascination, of awe when they are in nature,” John says. “They’re seeing things in a new way and being curious, more open.” According to Michael, camps were started as a philanthropic venture to get poor city kids out into the country in the summertime. “For city kids [camp] was life-changing. You got to be in the woods,” he says. “Adults need this, too. Suburban life is even less natural sometimes than city life: Drive. Mall. House. Work.” When Angela was at Camp Throwback, she laughed after seeing a toad. “When was the last time I saw a toad in Los Angeles? That doesn’t happen. I saw lightning bugs—all these things, I forgot they all existed. It’s important to make them a part of your life.” Read more: Naturally Happy The power of play At Camp Grounded in Northern California, the programming is primarily play-related, and almost everything takes place outdoors. Unlike many other camps, there is no access to technology whatsoever. No phones. No Wi-Fi. Only you, your tribe and Mother Nature. Those factors have made it extremely popular with the young go-go-go executives of Silicon Valley, as well as more bohemian types. “These are people who work in front of a screen all day,” says Christine Carter, Ph.D., a sociologist, executive coach and author of The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work. “They can’t take a ‘real’ vacation because technology follows them everywhere. If they are in Hawaii and it’s possible to be connected, they feel guilty if they’re not on call.” You get the sense that some of these executives would pay money to go to jail if it meant they could hand over their phones. Camp Grounded’s absolute lockdown on tech makes that prospect a lot more appealing, with a full roster of activities from stilt walking to synchronized swimming—all out among the redwoods and under the sun. Soul Camp offers a mind- (and body-) bending array of wellness sessions, such as meditation, yoga or sound therapy with Tibetan singing bowls in addition to classic camp activities like canoeing and arts and crafts. But the effect on your well-being may be equally positive whether you are learning to meditate or play kick the can. That’s because while mindfulness is important, so is pure play. Read more: 33 Ideas on Play Stuart Brown, a psychiatrist, the founder of the National Institute for Play and the author of Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, has been advocating for the importance of play in both children and adults for decades. He says that meaningful connections can quickly be forged between a group of strangers through the power of play. “Playful communications and interactions, when nourished, produce a climate for easy connection and deepening, more rewarding relationship—true intimacy,” Stuart writes. “It’s that play aspect that I see as being a backlash against the achievement culture so many young adults have grown up in,” Christine says. “It’s a chance to not perform, not to perform. And what an incredible relief to not have to put up that façade” for a few days, when we spend so much of our adult lives doing just that. At Soul Camp, as at Campowerment, “Nobody talks about what they do. We share an experience. We get to know each other authentically on a human level,” Eric says. As Angela remembers from Camp Throwback, “We got out a Slip ’N Slide, and it wasn’t just a normal Slip ’N Slide, it was an industrial Slip ’N Slide. And it started raining while we were pulling it out and everyone was just having a field day like—you were sliding down this huge tarp and it’s that sense of just flying. It’s slightly reckless, and there is no one to tell you can’t do it, except maybe yourself.” The real you Sleep-away camp has always offered kids a chance to develop independence and an individual identity, separate from home and school. At first glance, adults going off to these same camps might seem just like weekend partiers or New Agers. But something wonderful is taking place at these establishments, and it’s turning curious first-time campers into die-hard acolytes who can’t wait to return. Camp Grounded takes the idea that camp is a world apart a step further so that once there, campers do not even use their real names. “There is a whole ceremony around choosing your ‘camp name,’” explains Christine. Your camp name is one you choose to represent who you really are, not what you do or how people see you. Yes, capture the flag is fun, but because of the welcoming atmosphere created at the camps, the free play, communal bonding and general sense of well-being bestowed by nature itself, campers are bringing home much more than a suntan and a henna tattoo. These getaways seem to give busy adults a much-needed timeout, a chance to look at their lives and assess them from a peaceful distance. “Going to Soul Camp and leaving the judgment behind made me realize I didn’t like the place where I was,” Eric says. “It gave me the space to jump off the ship of misery and have a party on a beach. I found that at camp, and that is the life I live now.” Read more: 8 Ways to Find Your Own Tribe Emily Wise Miller is the web editor at Live Happy.

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