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Build a Capsule Wardrobe and Simplify Your Life

We’ve all been there: Standing in front of an overstuffed closet in the morning trying to put together the day’s outfit. But the cropped blazer that works with your high-waisted pants is stained. Nothing matches your new tweed skirt. The navy sheath dress feels too snug around your hips. And none of your boots—all black—look right with the brown pinstripe pantsuit. Before long, your bed is piled high with rejects, but if you’re going to make your train you’ve got to be out the door in the next three minutes, preferably fully dressed. It was a familiar scenario for Francine Jay, aka Miss Minimalist, author of the best-selling The Joy of Less: A Minimalist Guide to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify. “My closets were ridiculously overpacked, but like a lot of women I felt like I had nothing to wear,” she says. Today, Francine has a streamlined, or capsule, wardrobe of well-chosen essentials she loves. She has a total of 20 clothing pieces that include pants, skirts, dresses, tops and cardigans; five pairs of shoes; and one coat. She says she’s saving time, money, space and stress, while finding it a lot easier to look well-dressed. “It’s ironic, but when you pare down and your closet holds only your favorite things, you always have something to wear,” she says. “A capsule wardrobe eliminates decision fatigue and gives you a jump-start each morning. You get yourself together effortlessly and when your morning begins with ease, grace and efficiency, that sets a wonderful tone for the rest of the day.” I could never get my wardrobe down to anywhere near 20 items (and Francine wants to underscore that what works for her by no means will work for everyone). But the idea of a well-curated closet is a minimalist-happiness solution I’m ready to embrace. Right now, my closet and drawers are filled with random items bought on sale, many of them still unworn. So, to begin working toward a capsule wardrobe and address my shopping missteps, I’ve instituted the 14-day rule: If I don’t wear a new item—whether it’s a handbag, a pair of shoes, a dress or a T-shirt—within two weeks of purchase, it gets returned. This means that I've recently spent lots of time in customer-service lines. I’ve returned a pair of wide-legged navy poplin culottes that wrinkle too easily and require at least 6 more inches of good-looking leg than I have. I’ve brought back wedge sandals with a 4-inch platform that are impractical for walking and treacherous for driving. A black satchel purchased at an online flash sale has been mailed back; it duplicates in size and function at least two other purses I already own. And, after putting on and taking off the strapless floral camisole dress I bought for 40 percent off at The Gap a half-dozen times in front of a mirror, I’ve returned that, too. Something about the cut just wasn’t working. On the other hand, there are several things I’ve bought these past few months that have gone into early and regular rotation. They have a few qualities in common, which happen to align with Francine’s rules on building a capsule wardrobe. 1. They’re versatile A black linen jumpsuit that I bought at The Gap (after I returned the dress) goes everywhere, dressed up with heels and a white-linen jacket to a dinner party; thrown on with flip-flops to the salon for a mani-pedi. 2. They’re comfortable A new pair of black clogs with a 2-inch heel and a strap that holds them in place doesn’t pinch or rub even after a 2-mile walk with my dog Carlos. Yet they’re cute enough to wear with my favorite new wardrobe addition, a calf skimming low-high tent dress by Alice + Olivia that is comfy as pajamas but chic enough for a fancy lunch. 3. They fit my color palette Blacks, grays, creams and whites for foundation pieces like pants and skirts with brighter hues of teal, turquoise and red for secondary pieces like tops, scarves and wraps, means everything matches. As Francine says, “Ideally, you should be able to get dressed in the dark and still look fabulous.” 4. They’re flattering I know by now the lengths, necklines and shapes that work for me, and while I don’t want everything in my closet to look alike, better to strike out with new patterns and textures than something like those leg-shortening culottes. 5. They’re high quality When you have only a small collection of clothing you love, you want each piece to last forever. And, as Francine puts it, “you’re investing psychologically in an item when you bring it into your life, so why not be selective? Plus, it’s a more eco-friendly way to shop. You’re not adding to landfills by buying things that are trendy and disposable.” High quality doesn’t have to mean expensive and you don’t need to be a fashionista to recognize it. You can feel quality. Avoid pieces with loose threads, scratchy seams and fabric that bunches up or doesn’t lie smooth. I don’t yet have my capsule wardrobe nailed. But, I’m getting there. Most days, my bed no longer looks like a suitcase exploded on top of it. Packing for a trip has become a breeze. And, I’m spending way less time returning hastily bought shoes, bags and dresses. ** You can see photos of every item Francine has in her closet, as well as in the rest of her Portland, Oregon, home in her e-book 100 Essentials: Simple Kitchen + Capsule Wardrobe + Minimalist Home, or check out other avowed minimalists on her website. Read more: Simplify Your Life in 12 Steps Read more: The Life-Changing Magic of Cleaning Out Your Closet Shelley Levitt is a freelance journalist based in Los Angeles and editor at large for Live Happy. Her work has appeared in Real Simple, People, SUCCESS and more.

Reading

Two Books Teach Teens to Be Happier, More Resilient

Is there any time in life when perseverance and self-control are more crucial—and yet less in abundance—than during the teenage years? In adolescence, brains go through changes that can make teens act impulsively. Meanwhile, changes in hormones cause moods and emotions to go haywire. How can positive psychology fit into this chaotic mix to help teens regain a sense of balance and purpose during this confusing time? Two new positive psychology books have recently emerged that are aimed squarely at teenagers—perhaps the people who need it the most. The Grit Guide for Teens by Caren Baruch-Feldman, Ph.D., inspired by Angela Duckworth and her lab’s research on grit at the University of Pennsylvania, translates principles of goal-setting, resilience and living with purpose for the under-20 crowd. Instead of making teens wade through pages of research, stats and tables, the workbook offers quick explanations of concepts followed by hands-on exercises that bring the ideas to life. Molly Dahl’s Youth Positive is also a hands-on workbook, but it addresses many different aspects of positive psychology. Aimed at the high school level—primarily 11th and 12th grades—it is already being used as a teaching tool in many classrooms in Nevada and California. Author’s gritty success Before writing The Grit Guide for Teens, Caren, an energetic school and clinical psychologist in New York, always saw herself as a gritty person. “I had always been very gritty about academics,” she says, “but not in terms of my wellness.” A few years ago, Caren decided to put her own grit to the test. Using a combination of goal-theory, CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and every other bit of willpower and grit research she could get her hands on, she used herself as a grit-and-purpose guinea pig and succeeded in losing 25 pounds. Her greatest asset was “coming from ‘a place of yes.’” Meaning, focusing on the benefits of losing weight as opposed to the deficits of dieting. On her blog, Caren began to write about issues such as, “How do you actually get people to make a goal, stick to a goal, and achieve a goal?” She found it was easier coming from “a place of yes.” As a school psychologist, her first instinct was to bring what she had learned to young people. Changes in the classroom Youth Positive author Molly also was eager to share her findings with students. She was an educator for 15 years who decided to get a certificate in positive psychology from the Wholebeing Institute. “I just started to feed little parts of what I was learning to my students and they loved it,” she says. So during her last two years of teaching, Molly began adding positive psychology into her regular curriculum, “and their scores went up across the board for all of my classes.” Pretty soon students and faculty alike were clamoring for a book. Teens need positive psychology, she says, “because they are so bored in school. They get really interested when someone asks, ‘Tell me the best thing about you.’ All their lights go on.” She believes that giving them tools early on will help them make better life decisions. Caren, author of The Grit Guide, agrees. “I have two teens myself,” she says. “I feel like there is a lot of anxiety for teenagers today; the world feels very competitive and tough. This generation everything feels like everything needs to be immediate and now. The whole idea of waiting for something has been eliminated.” According to Caren, working on grit can help teens develop delayed gratification. “They need help working on the long-term planning and goal-setting part of their brains. This is really important.” How can teens become more gritty? One problem a lot of psychologists have with the concept of grit is that it often seems like it’s something you are either born with, or not. You either eat that marshmallow right away, or you don’t. But Caren sees it differently. Here are the three ways she recommends that teens can develop grit: Mindset: Work on having a positive mindset, being able to see the positive in something. Having a failure is crushing; it doesn’t feel good. But if you can have a positive mindset you can see that failure as part of the journey and not take it personally. Behavior: Let your behavior reflect your goals; your goals should be: long-term, specific, written down, and you should have an accountability partner if you want to achieve them. How do you get people to think more in the long-term? Eating a donut is easy; getting diabetes is a lot harder to imagine. Write down an advantage card (this is Judith Beck’s concept). What are the advantages to this goal? For example, I am going to commit to reading so that my reading score can get higher. Team: Find a supportive group. Gritty people accomplish goals from a sense of purpose, for themselves and for other people. When we surround ourselves with gritty people, we can pick ourselves up when we encounter obstacles. Surround yourself with positive people who support your goals. Schools and parents need to be “grit cheerleaders.” A sports team, extracurricular club, band, etc. can be your team. Learning their own self-worth According to Molly, some of the most important things teens can gain from reading and doing the exercises in Youth Positive are: To find their own self-worth. To know they really matter. So they can walk away knowing how important and valuable they are and the contribution they can make. To do the “ideal self” activity where you write about someone you admire in the third person and then bring it around to talking about yourself. To learn about self-perception theory. This is when we label someone based on how we see them behave, and we label ourselves the same way. We have the kids start watching their own behavior. How many times do you say ‘Thank You.’ Do you yell at your mom when you ask her to do something for you? It builds self-awareness. Though aimed at teens, both books have resources for teachers and parents in the back—and both could also be used by adults who are looking for hands-on lessons in positivity! The Grit Guide for Teens is available at Amazon and wherever books are sold. For more resources, videos featuring teens themselves and information about the book, check out Caren’s website. Order your copy of Youth Positive, find information for teachers and administrators and find more resources and videos on Molly’s website. An edition for middle schoolers is also available. Listen to our podcast: How to Raise Positive and Gritty Teens, With Caren Baruch-Feldman and Molly Dahl Read more: 12 Best Books for Your Positive Psychology Reading List Read more: Does Grit Outweigh Talent? Emily Wise Miller is the Web Editor for Live Happy. Some of her recent articles include 9 Tips to Be Happier Working from Home and 4 Ways to Stay Engaged With Lifelong Learning.

Reading

#HappyFacts: Know Thy Strengths

Each week, Live Happy Radio presents #HappyFactsdesigned to enlighten, educate and entertain you. This week, in honor of Character Day on Sept. 13, we’re talking about character strengths. Know thy strengths As you may know, character strengths are qualities like bravery, creativity, kindness, humility and perseverance that affect the way you think, feel and behave. Learning your character strengths can help you understand yourself better, but it also can help you identify areas in your life that you’d like to improve. Today, character strengths are being used in the classroom, workplace and in the home to help improve relationships. They can help us in many different areas of our lives, so this week, the Live Happy team looks at some of the ways character strengths are valuable to us. Kid-tested, parent-approved If you’re a parent, you would most likely welcome a secret way to improve the effectiveness of your actions. Learning your child’s character strengths (in addition to knowing your own) is a powerful tool for knowing what will motivate and encourage them to take proper action or make the right decision. According to Lea Waters, Ph.D., author of The Strength Switch, a strength-based approach to parenting allows you to focus on what’s right with your child instead of seeing what isn’t working very well. By noting what is working, you can help bolster your child’s optimism, resilience and sense of achievement while at the same time enhancing self-esteem and confidence—making for a happier child. And, as we know, happier kids = happier parents. Especially if they’re teenagers. Thank more, stress less If you have to pick one character strength to get you through stressful times, try gratitude. Gratitude—the ability to recognize and respond positively to the things that happen in our lives—has been studied from many different aspects. Current research shows that practicing the character strength of gratitude can help change the way we react to stressful situations and make them easier to navigate and endure. What’s even better is that you get benefits from gratitude in good times, too, with increased positive emotions, better relationships and more satisfaction with your job and your life. And, when you’re thankful, you’re also more motivated to help others—which leads to a “helper’s high” and psychological flourishing. That creates what’s known as an “upward spiral”—which has such side effects as increased happiness and well-being. Strengths, noted What good are character strengths in the workplace? Well, they gave us the Post-it Note. 3M is known for its innovative “15 percent time” program, which encourages its engineers and scientists to spend up to 15 percent of their time working on their own ideas. By allowing employees to apply their strengths to projects that they are excited about, the company fosters the strength of creativity and nurtures their passion. And, in 1974, the company received confirmation of the value of their program when engineer Art Fry used his 15 percent time to develop the Post-it Note, which remains one of the company’s best-selling products of all time. What character strength do you most value in your life, and why? Tell us about it in the comments below.

Practice

House of Shine Helps Kids Find Their Life’s Passion

As a lifelong educator, Claudia Beeny, Ph.D., has seen how beneficial it is to take a break from the daily barrage of noise and distraction. “You need quiet,” Claudia says. “Slow down long enough for your head to hear what your heart is saying.” She speaks from personal experience. It was during one of her own breaks that she realized her dream was to start House of Shine, a North Texas-based nonprofit that offers mentoring programs that help women and children find their true passions. She believes once people take this time for self-reflection, they not only improve their lives but the world as a whole. “We all want to know at the end of the day that our life here on Earth mattered,” says Claudia, who spent 23 years working in higher education. Despite her professional success, she felt disconnected from her creative side. So, a decade ago, she started a blog where she shared one creative idea every day. The value she felt from this project ignited the spark that led to the creation of House of Shine. Many of her early insights from the blog are woven into House of Shine’s custom workshops, weekly classroom curriculum and projects such as a DO52 kit that has action words for every week of the year to encourage creativity and nurture self-reflection. People of all ages and backgrounds have been drawn to House of Shine’s workshops, including schoolchildren, grandmothers and stay-at-home moms. “What binds everyone together is the desire to live a full and rich life,” Claudia says. During a typical workshop, Claudia shares personal insights and raises questions about a main topic. For example, one recent theme was happiness. Attendees then had time to reflect, journal and discuss their answers in small groups. It’s this community mentoring that helps make the programs successful, Claudia says. She notes that participants learn as much from each other as they do from experts. “We’re the pause in people’s lives,” she says. “The real work is when they take the time to think about how these concepts matter to them.” Never Too Early Katie Kolkmeier, a college student of Claudia’s long before the nonprofit was formed, continues to benefit from House of Shine’s ideas. Katie says Claudia has always been a natural at mentoring and life coaching. “I feel like I am a product of House of Shine,” Katie says. “My time with Claudia brought out in me what I never knew was there.” After graduating, Katie decided to start working for House of Shine so she could help others have similar life-changing discoveries. Now, as the director of programming, Katie helps write and teach the curriculum used in all grade levels. Most of the students who take the weekly classes are journaling and exploring their talents for the first time. “It gives the students an opportunity to hold a mirror up to themselves,” she says. The curriculum helps students pinpoint their interests and find their innate abilities. Students can choose school assignments, service projects and internships they care about. When kids learn their core values at a young age, they will be set up for success for the rest of their lives, Katie says. One of the most important lessons is “helping people see that things that come to you naturally aren’t meaningless.” Read more: The Path to Purpose Group Effort Even if these concepts sound simple, Claudia has seen how easy it is to get lost in the daily struggle of work and excuses and insecurity. But things can get back on course, she says. “You already know what you need to do to shine,” she says. “Often the question is, ‘Am I listening and acting on what I need to do?’” House of Shine is always seeking volunteers to help with fundraisers, special events and craft projects. Claudia looks forward to continued growth and sees potential in offering curriculum and workshops nationally. “There is a need,” she says. “People want to have this conversation together.” Read more: 4 Ways to Stay Engaged With Lifelong Learning Mary Dunklin is a writer and editor who specializes in family, fitness and travel. Her last article for Live Happy was about yoga's impact on depression.

Lifestyle

7 Ways to Beat the End-of-Summer Blues

As summer winds down, so does some of the fun and freedom we enjoy during this time of year. For kids, it’s time to head back to school and activities; for parents, it means supervising homework, making lunches and keeping everyone on a schedule. This transition can cause the blues for children and adults alike. One of the best ways to handle the change is to develop a solid strategy to make things easier and less stressful. Here are seven suggestions to beat the end-of-summer blues: 1. Plan ahead Remember past challenges and think about how to improve in the future. If you have kids, teach them problem-solving by involving them in the planning. Find ways to modify your family’s daily routine, including transitioning to an earlier wake-up time once school starts. Instead of shocking them awake on the first day of school, start implementing earlier bedtimes and earlier wake-up times about a week before school starts, backing up five to ten minutes each night until you reached the correct time. 2. Focus on the positives As the weather grows colder, instead of staring out the window pining for the sun, get cozy in oversized sweaters and cuddle up with your family. Fall and winter provide opportunities to engage in indoor bonding activities such as puzzles, baking and the like. Light a fire, roast marshmallows and teach your kids to make hot chocolate from scratch. Before you know it, holiday festivities will be here, bringing all kinds of cheer. Have fun in the fall by planning your Halloween costumes, begin holiday crafting or even start working on your holiday wish lists. 3. Get the family involved Get together with your whole family to brainstorm fun activities you can do in the coming months. Create a giant calendar and mark off school and work holidays. Then choose dates for fun activities during the fall and winter. Make those activities stand out on your calendar by using bright colors and stickers. 4. Create an end-of-summer tradition Plan a big barbecue with friends and family; spend an end-of-summer weekend away or plan a staycation; plant new flowers in your garden; or clean out closets and donate what you no longer use to those in need. Whatever you decide to do, as long as you enjoy it, commit to doing this same thing every year. Read more: 4 Ways to Navigate Life's Transitions With Ease 5. Make a scrapbook or collage Do an art project with your family that includes photos, ticket stubs and other memories to help document the summer. Put it in a visible place in your home to remind yourself of the fun that you just experienced. (This exercise could also be your end-of-summer ritual!) 6. Work on goal-setting Think intentionally about what each member of your family would like to accomplish or improve on in the coming months. Many people believe that this type of planning is only for January, but setting goals only once a year can increase the pressure on you to complete those goals, and wind up resulting in disappointment. Making seasonal goals is more effective and a great positive activity. 7. Make a fall and winter music playlist Pick out songs to represent the fall and winter holidays or music that evokes feelings of joy for this time of year. You can find spooky songs for Halloween in October, festive tunes to play during Thanksgiving in November, and there is no shortage of holiday favorites to choose from in December. Instead of closing out the summer with the blues, end the season with some proactive and happiness-filled fall and winter to-dos! Read more: 3 Tips for a Low-Stress Start to the School Year Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know and an editor at large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.

Lifestyle

Make a Happiness Plan for Retirement

Sally Balch Hurme, author of the new book Get the Most Out of Retirement: Checklist for Happiness, Health, Purpose, and Financial Security, published by the American Bar Association, says that people facing the “R” word are split on the idea; some look forward to a leisurely life on the golf course or becoming world travelers, others are terrified at the prospect of not having enough to do. Recently retired after spending 25 years practicing law, Sally wrote her book to help others with life planning. Not wholly comfortable with the word “retirement” and being the “least retired” person she knows, she wanted to create a handbook that covers all aspects of life after work. “A lot of people dread retirement because they don’t know what it is going to be like,” she says. “I am having a blast, so I hope I can give [readers] some things to think about so we can go into retirement without trepidation and have a positive outlook.” Find yourself again We spend decades defining ourselves by our careers. One of the first steps into retirement, Sally says, is finding out who you are again or want to be for the next few decades. This new life stage is an opportunity to spend your time on what’s important to you. “It’s going to be different with every person, but even though you are no longer an employee or have this job title or run this business, you are still a lot of other things: you are a spouse and a parent and a grandparent. I am still a lawyer even though I am not practicing law. I still have my volunteer commitments, I still love to garden, I still love to travel.” Read more: The Path to Purpose Plan for change When your new adventure starts, plan A doesn’t always work out. And when it doesn’t, you’ll need to fall back on plan B or even C and have a good dose of resilience. In Sally’s case, two months into her retirement, her husband’s declining health forced them to alter their plans of traveling abroad. So, have some flexibility in your gameplan. “Instead of going to Europe for a month, we plan around shorter weekends,” she says. “We did relocate so I can be around family and have some assistance with caregiving. Health issues are not necessarily the primary reason to move from plan A, but at our age, that is something that we do need to keep in the back of our minds.” Repurpose Finding purpose is great at any age, but it can be especially meaningful when you have more time to dedicate. Sally recommends volunteering more, finding part-time work in a field you enjoy or continuing your education. Researchers at Florida State University’s Pepper Institute on Aging and Social Policy find that there is no other greater force for successful aging than meaningful educational experiences. And, most state colleges offer discounted classes for retired people. Entrepreneurship is another popular way people can embark on a career they have always wanted. According to Sally’s book, people in their 50s and 60s make up a quarter of all startup businesses. Retirees often have their own money to work with and a lifetime of networking and experience to rely on. Stay connected The Japanese never retire from being active and boast some of the longest life spans. Their philosophy of ikigai, or a worthwhile life, is doing what you love around the people you love to make the world a better place. Sally says it may be a good idea to get involved in your local Rotary Club or chamber of commerce to contribute to the greater good. “Broadening our social networks can add value to the community around us in multiple, exceptional ways,” she says. “Getting over that trepidation about trying something new” can help kick-start a new chapter. While it may be daunting at first, having a plan, or multiple plans, can provide plenty of opportunities to keep you occupied, active and connected to the world, which can add meaningful years to your life. “There are so many options out there, you need to explore and not be timid to investigate,” Sally says. “You’ve got the time to plan and execute a very exciting second life.” Read more: 8 Ways to Thrive in Midlife and Beyond Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine. Some of his recent articles for the magazine include Happiness is a Walk in the Park and Find Your Funny Bone.

Lifestyle

Create Your Happy Space

1. Where the Wild Things Are Wild Washi Tape in various animal versions ($18.90, amazon.com) make using tape anything but mundane. 2. Get Crafty Unleash your inner artist and immerse yourself in a fun project with art supplies include. The Dare to Dream Board ($24.99) and Do Art My World of Art ($19.99, fabercastell.com). 3. Hold it Together Keep your desk organized and looking great with a Blush Pen Cup ($6); Blush Medium Slim Tray ($8); Orange Stapler ($14); Aqua & Pool Blue Medium Accessory Tray ($9, poppin.com). 4. Sparkle & Stick Elmer’s Classic Washable Glitter Glue is nontoxic and suitable for most arts and crafts projects ($3, target.com). 5. Color Pop Nifty All-in-One Notebook ($9.95) and the 2-in-1 Flip Side Notebook make all your doodling and note-taking a cinch ($11.95, ooly.com)! 6. Sticky Notes Have more fun writing down your thoughts when you use this Pop-up Note Camera Dispenser ($9.99); Super Sticky Big Notes ($7.99, Post-it.com). 7. Stand Up for Art Decorate your space with the "Mad About Pencils" 5x7 print by Olive and Me Studios, ($21) or "Fragment" 5x7 by Hooray Creative in cerise ($21 minted.com). Display prints, postcards or photos in the GROUPshot Photo Display in Cityscape ($50, threebythree.com). 8. Paint it Chalk Create your own attractive (visually and literally) wall space using MagnaMagic Tintable Chalkboard Paint ($19.99) and MagnaMagic Magnetic Receptive Chalkboard Paint ($23.99, magnamagic.com). April Hardwick is the Design Editor for Live Happy magazine.

science

Happy News of the Week

Growing Link Between Health and Happiness Top researchers of subjective well-being recently released a comprehensive review on the connection between health and happiness. Based on recent findings, the case is strong enough to encourage health practitioners to add “happiness assessments” when asking patients about their behaviors. Admittedly, the report does call for more research into this area, but the promising results are trending toward happiness playing an important role in our mental and physical health. The Happiest College in America Is… Vanderbilt University has the happiest students in North America, according to The Princeton Review, edging out Rice University, which claimed the title last year. The test-prep outfit’s annual guide The Best 382 Colleges 2018 ranks schools on categories ranging from Best-Run College (University of Richmond), the Most Beautiful Campus (University of San Diego) and Best Campus food (University of Massachusetts-Amherst) based on student surveys. Vanderbilt also boasts an academic rating of 95 percent and has a near perfect quality of life rating. Money Can Buy You Happiness In a recent study published by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), researchers found that money can buy you happiness in the form of time-saving activities, such as paying someone to mow your lawn or clean your house. People who traded cash for time were found to be less anxious at the end of the day and reported less stress as well. The study also found that when we suffer from a “time famine,” we are putting our health at risk by forming unhealthy eating, exercising and sleeping habits. Be True to You The secret to well-balanced happiness may include embracing emotions that aren’t very pleasant, such as anger, sadness and contempt. According to Maya Tamir, Ph.D., a psychology professor at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem who worked on the study The Secret to Happiness: Feeling Good or Feeling Right?, researchers found that we are better off if the emotions we are experiencing match the emotions we desire. “If we embrace the feelings that we have, for instance, when we feel sad, we could accept these feelings as natural and understand that there is nothing wrong with us,” Maya says. Emoji for Hire We often send each other emojis to convey certain moods that we are feeling without using words, such as a laughing smiley face or a frustrated face-palm. Since people naturally like to mimic behaviors, or what scientists call “affective contagion,” a management professor from the University of Delaware who studies workplace performance wanted to see if emojis had an impact on how people behave at work. What he found was when people receive friendly and positive messages, they are put into a good mood which can then lead to the release of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine controls the reward and pleasure centers of the brain and allows us to be more creative and find new ways to solve problems. Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine.

science

10 Best Books to Inspire Courage

Many make the mistake of thinking that you need to feel courageous and confident before you take that first brave step. In fact it’s the other way around: You have to act while trembling. Doing the thing that scares you emboldens your courage. You must be willing to feel uncomfortable and awkward—and resist the urge to run in the other direction—when it’s time to be brave. Rather than waiting for a magical moment when you feel filled with strength, these ten tales of daring will inspire you to act courageously even when you are afraid. Reading biographies of courageous individuals such as Martin Luther King, Jr., and Nelson Mandela stirs and inspires our souls, and we recommend those books as well. But because the achievements of these icons can seem so far beyond our own capabilities, their stories help us dream but not necessarily to act or accomplish. For that we need to start a bit closer to earth—with books written by “ordinary” human beings or spiritual teachers, filled with well-chosen words of motivation and inspiration, laced with the humility and wisdom that comes from having lived and learned. By reading these books we might even find the hero inside ourselves. 1. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead by Brene Brown, Ph.D. Theodore Roosevelt once famously said, “It is not the critic who counts…the credit belongs to the man…in the arena.” In Daring Greatly, professor at University of Houston and motivational speaker and writer Brene Brown challenges readers to take the risk and step into the arena—whatever that may be for each person. Discover that vulnerability is not weakness, it is actually the quickest path to courage. By daring greatly and sharing our feelings and experiences, Brene writes, we find a life of meaning and common humanity. Inspiring words: “Sometimes when we dare to walk into the arena the greatest critic we face is ourselves.” 2. Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man and Life’s Greatest Lesson by Mitch Albom Newspaper sports columnist and author Mitch Albom had a college professor named Morrie Schwartz, who was also a trusted mentor. Finding him 20 years later, Mitch chronicles the life wisdom and insights Morrie shares with him during his last few months of life. Morrie’s treasured advice comes as gifts of courage to every reader: “Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied. You won’t be envious. You won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you will be overwhelmed with what comes back.” Inspiring words: “The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say, if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it.” 3. The Light of the World: A Memoir by Elizabeth Alexander When acclaimed poet and Pulitzer Prize finalist Elizabeth Alexander suddenly loses her husband, she strikes out on a quest for meaning, reflecting on her love story and devastating loss. This beautiful memoir reminds us of life’s most important blessings of love, art, family and community. Inspiring words: “Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don’t let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand.” 4. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch was diagnosed with terminal cancer when he gave his last lecture, “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.” A wonderful book to read and reread, The Last Lecture is about realizing the value of time and acquiring the drive to overcome obstacles in order to pursue your dreams. Finish this book with a renewed desire to really live. Inspiring words: “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.” 5. The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer Spiritual teacher Michael Singer shows us how to let go of negative thinking patterns and expand our consciousness through meditation and mindfulness. Remove the limits of what you think is possible for you by understanding your inner energy. Inspiring words: “Only you can take inner freedom away from yourself, or give it to yourself. Nobody else can.” 6. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi Neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi was constantly striving and deferring gratification for his future until he became a patient faced with a stage IV lung cancer diagnosis. His powerful memoir seeks to answer what really matters in life and what mortality can teach us about living. As one reviewer said, this book will leave you “stunned and hopeful at the same time” with his quiet resilience. Inspiring words: “The fact of death is unsettling, yet there is no other way to live.” 7. The Places that Scare You:A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chodron American teacher of Tibetan Buddhism Pema Chodron writes that we can let our lives make us bitter or make us better. We can hide with fear or we can evolve to more compassionate and kind people. Awaken to the goodness in you and connect with others by accepting yourself and your imperfections. Inspiring words: “To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.” 8. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho Writer and philosopher Paulo Coelho set out to write a book about his own life—as someone who took too long to go in pursuit of his dreams because he thought his dreams impossible. Instead he wrote The Alchemist, a mystical fable of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who goes in search of worldly treasure, which became an international bestseller. Through his journey, we learn the value of listening to our inner voice and heart. After you read this awe-inspiring classic, get a renewed sense of determination to pursue your dreams. Inspiring words: “Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.” 9. Sit, Walk, Don’t Talk: How I Survived a Silent Meditation Retreat by Jennifer Howd In her debut memoir, Sit, Walk, Don’t Talk, Jennifer Howd takes us inside her journey to a silent meditation retreat. Get a unique perspective inside her mind as she goes to battle with her inner critic. With compassion, insight and humor, she takes the reader on a personal walk through her mind and shows us the liberation that comes from accepting our imperfect selves. Inspiring words: “You don't have to necessarily go away for days on end," she says, "but just sitting still and being quiet and being with yourself and just allowing yourself tobeand notdois so beneficial on so many levels. It's kind of a radical idea to do these days you know because we're so busy." 10. #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso Though a lighter read, #GIRLBOSS is serious about empowerment. If you’ve ever felt like your path to success is filled with blunders and naysayers, get fired up with author Sophia Amoruso. Broke and directionless in her 20s, Sophia turned a hobby of selling vintage clothes into a successful fashion retail business. Today she’s the founder, CEO and Creative Director of Nasty Gal, a $100+ million fashion retailer with more than 350 employees. Her success story will inspire yours. Inspiring words: “No matter where you are in life, you'll save a lot of time by not worrying too much about what other people think about you. The earlier in your life that you can learn that, the easier the rest of it will be.” Read more: 10 Life-Changing Books That Will Stay With You Read more: 10 Best Books to Help Achieve Your Goals Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor to Live Happy, and Founder and CEO of themediaconcierge.net.

Woman doing yoga with wellness bracelet.

Self-Care

5 Wearable Tech Devices That Increase Emotional Awareness

In ancient Greece, philosophers believed so strongly that self-knowledge was the key to human potential that they inscribed the phrase “Know Thyself” onto the sacred Temple of Apollo. Since that time, philosophers, religious leaders and authors alike have mused about the nature of humanity and our sense of self. What are humans made of? How do we experience pain? What are emotions and why do we have them? Until recently, most of the conclusions that were drawn came from external observation or speculation. However, thanks to evolving technology, we now have the ability to connect our external and internal worlds in ways that Socrates or Plato couldn’t have imagined. Now, with wearable fitness and wellness trackers, something can tell us what’s going on inside our bodies on an intellectual, emotional and even molecular level at all times. We are witnessinga new era in which people can get a personal, real-time snapshot inside their bodies to understand how stimuli like stress can increase heart rate, speed up breathing and even produce headaches. Taking your emotional temperature While many wearable technology products focus on tracking physical health, a number of wearables are now emerging specifically to assess emotional health. One of my favorite wearables, called theSpire Stone, is a small lava-shaped rock with a clip that attaches to your waistband or bra strap. It uses your breathing patterns to determine if you are feeling calm, focused or tense. As a naturally anxious person, I found this feedback loop useful. However, about five days into my trial period with Spire, this device went from fascinating to fundamentally transformative. In-Spired reality check Through a terrible series of circumstances, my 8-year-old daughter Ana broke her neck last summer in our backyard pool. Fortunately, she is now doing fine and launching back-handsprings all over the house. But at the time, I remember driving Ana to the hospital to get X-rays while wearing my Spire stone, and surprisingly, it said that I was feeling quite calm. It wasn’t until we were walking out of the hospital, with Ana in a giant neck brace, that the Spire stone began to vibrate, indicating that I was feeling tense. And I thought, “Yeah I know!! My daughter just broke her neck.” But the vibration caused me to pause and think about why I was feeling tense. I realized that I was worried about what other people would think about me as the mom of a child with a broken neck, rather than being present with Ana and supporting her as she wrestled with her new reality—a summer of no gymnastics, no lacrosse, no swimming. This 30-second feedback loop from the Spire Stone was just enough to help me reframe my thoughts and mindfully pivot to be more like the mother I wanted to be. The next generation This is technology at its finest — helping to raise our consciousness and fuel well-being through science-based solutions. And right now, so many emerging technologies coming onto the market will help us to gain insight into living happier, healthier lives. Here are a few wearables that I find particularly fascinating: Muse—a brain-sensing headband that provides real-time insight into your state of mind and teaches you how to overcome distraction Feel—a gender-neutral bracelet that uses skin conductance, body temperature and heart rate to track emotion and coach you toward greater well-being Bellabeat Leaf Urban—a bracelet, necklace or clip that measures stress, breathing patterns, sleep quality and even tracks menstrual and ovulation cycles Pip—a small handheld device that monitors changes in skin pores to track stress levels and then recommends strategies to reduce stress through activities in its companion app. If you are interested in learning about other wearables for tracking physical and emotional health, check out my bookThe Future of Happiness or visit happiness.tech for direct links to over 100 apps, gadgets and wearables dedicated to increasing well-being. Amy Blankson, aka the ‘Happy Tech Girl,’ is on a quest to help individuals balance productivity and well-being in the digital era. Amy, with her brother Shawn Achor, co-founded GoodThink, which brings the principles of positive psychology to lifeand works with organizations such as Google, NASA and the U.S. Army. Her new book is The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-being in the Digital Era.

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