North House Folk School

Folk Schools Revitalize Traditional Skills of the Past

Sunlight streams through huge windows and wide doors that open onto a dock and the sheltered harbor of Grand Marais, Minnesota, where waves from the mighty Lake Superior crash against the breakwater. Inside, delicate curls of wood accumulate on the floor around eight students at work on electric lathes, intently turning 4-inch-thick disks of birch into artful wooden bowls. This is North House Folk School, where people of all ages and walks of life learn artisan skills in a collection of colorful buildings that looks like a small New England village. No matter what the class—knitting to boatbuilding—they come here to make physical objects with their hands and do what, according to North House Executive Director Greg Wright, “humans were designed to do.” Watch for a while and you’ll see there’s much more going on in this workshop than turning wooden bowls. Class member Jay Schulz, a recently retired chemist and product steward for 3M in St. Paul, Minnesota, says, “While working as a chemist, I was constantly juggling multiple programs, holding hundreds of details in mind and making constant value judgments.” By contrast, he says, “When turning wood, it’s just you and a piece of a tree. When I turn, I am focused on one element at a time, making the best cut possible, but surrounded by all the varied and rich characteristics of turning. For example, there is the smell of the wood, the sound of the cut, the vibration of the tool in hand, the direct visual of the cut happening while in the periphery you watch the new shape forming and the chips and ribbons flying. Turning is pure joy of the moment.” Hands Instead of Thumbs Whether you call it slow living, downshifting or the DIY movement, artisans like Jay are part of a resurgence in handcrafts. It can be seen in the growing number of folk schools that have taken root in the United States from Alaska to Florida where they teach thousands of people each year how to build wooden boats, cobble shoes, bake with ancient grains, build and play musical instruments, make pottery and even turn a squirrel into soup and tan its hide. On the surface, these pursuits may seem quaintly amusing. Why carve a spoon when you can buy one? “I tell people I make baskets, and they think I’m kidding,” says Pattie Bagley of Marietta, Georgia, who is a resident artist at the John C. Campbell Folk School in Brasstown, North Carolina. “They think it’s hilarious, but then they get interested.” Folk schools attribute the popularity of handcrafting to a combination of factors. They cite the recent economic recession that prompted a greater interest in frugality and self-sufficiency and a growing interest in healthier and more sustainable living. They also mention a rejection of too much technology as a driver of the trend. Students often seek an escape from the virtual life of social media and computers to find meaningful connection with their fellow artisans and to work with their hands, not thumbs. Pattie says, “Young people are looking for more than glass and plastic. They want connection and something authentic. You can score 10,000 points on a computer game or, with the same amount of time, make something tangible of quality and value.” Baby boomers, on the other hand, often find their way to folk schools in search of a new means of self-expression. “I’ve been a lawyer and a mom,” says Lorna Gleason of Minneapolis, who took pottery classes at John C. Campbell, “and now I have the time to explore other activities.” Such learning vacations are one way to discover new creative outlets and to experience the satisfaction of making beautiful objects. An added draw: Many folk schools are in idyllic settings that allow travelers to connect with beautiful destinations from the Adirondacks to the Oregon coast in a more meaningful way, by learning the craft traditions of the region. What Is a Folk School? The idea of folkehøjskole (folk school) emerged in Denmark in the 1830s with educator and philosopher N.F.S. Grundtvig, who advocated noncompetitive “schools for life” that encouraged inner growth and development in connection with the larger community. John C. Campbell, an American educator and reformer, saw that the Danish schools “had helped transform the countryside into a vibrant, creative force,” according to folkschool.org. John hoped that such schools could improve the quality of the Appalachian region’s crafts. That would allow artisans to profit from their work and help preserve the traditional skills of the area as well. In 1925, his widow, Olive, founded the John C. Campbell Folk School, the granddaddy of U.S. folk schools, and it now offers 860 weekend and weeklong classes on its 300-acre campus. Like a year-round camp for grown-ups, the John C. Campbell experience includes housing and food, singing before meals, contra dancing and square dancing, and tours of local artists’ studios. Six thousand students of all ages arrive each year to find that “vibrant, creative force” in themselves. Folk schools are as diverse as their locations. Many newer schools offer classes in the homes or on the farms of their instructors or in state parks. Most offer courses in pottery, weaving, photography, cooking and blacksmithing, but also specialize in the traditional skills of their region. In Minnesota, for example, folk schools emphasize Scandinavian crafts and skills of the North such as building canoes, baskets or bowls from birch. The common thread is that the schools tether the past to the future with a focus on skills that have been lost to convenience culture. “It’s not about rejecting today. It’s about adding back in what’s been lost,” Greg says. People once learned to make things by hand—cooking, carpentry, knitting and sewing—at home or perhaps in home economics and shop classes at school, but now those opportunities are scarce. Martha Owen, a weaving instructor at John C. Campbell from Murphy, North Carolina, explains, “My grandmother wanted nothing more than to leave farm life behind. My mother was an engineer, and her generation rejected anything handmade including food, so there was no one to learn from.” Folk schools are filling that role by recovering and passing on skills that have nearly been lost in everyday life. Greg says, “We’re fostering the next generation of artisans and people who believe this stuff matters.” Beyond the Bowl Clay flies off the wheel, bread fails to rise and stitches drop. For beginners, trying a new skill takes a bit of courage, and students often start by declaring, “I’m not artistic.” Yet, says Pattie, “It’s hard to describe the feeling of accomplishment, the value of hot, crusty bread right out of the oven, the beautiful pot or basket and the joy of ‘getting it’ when you finally start to master a new challenge.” Watching students in that process, it becomes apparent that it’s about much more than the end product; it’s about learning and experience. That’s especially true when, as a regular part of the class, a new “turner” takes her carefully wrought wooden bowl to the instructor. The observer wants to shout, “NO!” but it’s too late. The instructor cuts the bowl in half with a table saw. By sacrificing the bowl, the student can better gauge its thickness and uniformity. Obviously, the artisan path is one of patience, persistence and continuous improvement. Jay says, “At the onset, one has an idea of what the finished project should look like. The steps are usually fairly simple to move from a piece of a tree trunk to a bowl. You first mount the blank, you form the basic shape, you create the detailed shape, then finish. In moving from the blank to the finish, you make many simple cuts, over and over, each one subtracting a small amount of material. You slowly watch your final vision taking form. There’s an adjustment here and there but there is always the rhythm, again and again, shaping and removing material until you’re satisfied. This rhythm, or flow, is like meditation for me, just breathing, watching, cutting.” It’s no wonder that many artisans feel what Hungarian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls flow. His research found that people experience genuine satisfaction during a state of consciousness in which they are completely absorbed in an activity, especially an activity that involves their creative abilities. In addition, a host of neurochemicals percolate in our brains when we’re crafting that stimulate the brain’s reward centers, according to Kelly Lambert, Ph.D., professor of behavioral neuroscience at the University of Richmond and the author of the book Lifting Depression. “There are neurochemicals accompanying all functions and activities of our brain from clicking on computers to woodworking and everything in between.” For example, she says, “Serotonin, known to most as a neurotransmitter involved in mood regulation (and influenced by many antidepressant medications), has been found to increase during repetitive movements, which is interesting considering how hobbies involve so many repetitive movements.” She also lists dopamine, which is associated with pleasure, and specific hormones that are at work. “In animal models in my lab, as animals work to obtain their rewards, DHEA, a hormone implicated in emotional resilience, is increased.” Crafting a Connection Artisan crafts also offer rewards in the form of interpersonal connections that reveal themselves at the end of each day at North House Folk School. Students gather around the fire pit overlooking Lake Superior or around a wood stove indoors to share a little about themselves and swap stories about their days, laughing about their challenges and what they’ve learned. Among them there’s a father and his teenage sons who are learning blacksmithing together and a married couple tackling wood turning. They talk of the value of undistracted time together. Students also make new friends in classes, sharing camaraderie born of their common pursuits. That’s one reason folk schools take the concept of noncompetitive learning seriously—no grades, just fun. One North House woodturner said, “If I like it, it’s good enough.” That fosters a spirit of cooperation that allows classmates to learn from one another. “There’s great supportive energy,” says Lisa Pilati-Warner, a John C. Campbell student from Minneapolis who took cooking classes. “You meet and mingle with people you’d never cross paths with otherwise. People make friends and they return year after year.” Mark Hansen, a gregarious instructor and a founder of the North House Folk School, summarizes, “Folk schools connect people to a place, a culture, a tradition and to each other.” Find Your Inner Artisan There are more than 40 U.S. folk schools that make great destinations for a learning adventure. They usually place special emphasis on the traditional crafts and folkways of their region. Here are a few of the most well-known: Adirondack Folk School Lake Luzerne, New York adirondackfolkschool.org The Adirondack Folk School, not far from Saratoga Springs, teaches students to make traditional Adirondack chairs and twig furniture, tie flies, build canoes and more. The Clearing Folk School Ellison Bay, Wisconsin theclearing.org The Clearing offers weeklong, one- and two-day classes on its residential campus located on Lake Michigan on the tip of Wisconsin’s Door County. Its classes capitalize on natural surroundings and history. John C. Campbell Folk School Brasstown, North Carolina folkschool.org The oldest U.S. folk school emphasizes the crafts of Appalachia and offers weekend and weeklong classes on its residential campus. North House Folk School Grand Marais, Minnesota northhouse.org Features one-day and multiday classes with an emphasis on traditional northern crafts. Ploughshare Institute for Sustainable Culture Waco, Texas sustainlife.org Ploughshare teaches the skills of sustainable agrarian culture in one-day and multiday classes on its campus and online. The program grew out of Homestead Heritage, an agrarian- and craft-based intentional Christian community. For more, visit the Folk School Alliance: peopleseducation.org/folk-school-links Terri Peterson Smith is an award-winning writer, photographer and author specializing in travel, food and entertainment. Her work has been features in USA Today, Better Homes & Gardens, National Geographic and other publications.
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6 hearts in a row

Increasing Kindness

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Learn how performing acts of kindness can impact your genetic expression. LifeHack—Explore what kindness means and how to show it more to others. Practitioner’s Corner—Barbara Santen shares how parents of newborns can keep their sense of connection with each other and their family. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center Read the interview from the Practitioner's Corner: Transcription provided by The Flourishing Center Emiliya: Hello, everyone, and join me in welcoming Barbara Santen. She is a coach for women in relationships from Toronto, Ontario. We're so excited to have Barbara here with us to learn more about how positive psychology is being utilized in coaching and how she's helping people create thriving and flourishing relationships. Something that you might not know about Barbara is she is an avid acro yogi, and if you're not familiar with acro-yoga, it is this profoundly impactful way of doing yoga that combines doing work with partners or within a group setting and is all about cultivating communication and partnership using people's bodies. I'm huge fan of acro yoga. I think it's so cool that Barbara is a practitioner. Thank you so much for being here, Barbara, and tell us, how did you get started in positive psychology? Barbara: Well, it was kind of in a roundabout way. I had been searching for years and years, actually, to build from and upon the career that I had at that time, which was being a registered midwife in Ontario, and being a midwife is part of the health care system, so we're like physicians in that we have autonomy, we have no one above us telling us how to manage our care and all of that, and I still felt quite constricted in my profession. And my degree is in midwifery specifically. It's not as a nurse-first, and then a specialty. It's a direct-entry program, and so I felt a little stuck. I felt a little choked because I wanted to flourish and become greater than I was in that moment, and so I started searching for master's degrees in psychology because I always wanted to help people, and I'm always the one that people come to for advice and help in my family and in my friendships and in my professional life, and that's my passion. I started searching for master's degrees in psychology to become a counselor of some sort or a therapist, and I just realized that that's not what I wanted to do. I ... Just as midwifery is sort of a positive aspect of medicine—although it's very complex and there are complex parts to it and management and sometimes scary things that have to happen—it's mostly a positive and a growth experience. Mainstream psychology and psychotherapy was more like helping people get back up from something really terrible. I was like, "But what I can do? What can I do?" and I really hadn't understood much about coaching or anything like that, and so long story longer, I stumbled upon the University of Pennsylvania through my partner. Actually, I was there for a 20-year reunion. He graduated from that university in something else, and I met someone who had completed the Master's Degree in Applied Positive Psychology, and from there, I just started researching, and I was so hungry and devouring all of the positive psychology stuff that I stumbled upon. It just so happened that that very weekend that I was at UPenn, that very weekend, a certification program in applied positive psychology was started, was commencing. As I was not in Toronto, it was starting that weekend in Toronto with my now good friend Louisa Jewell who was presenting that course. I emailed you, Emiliya, right away, and I was like, "Oh ... " I was ready to make a compelling argument for allowing me to enter the course late, and I think we went back and forth a little bit, and you had said right away, "Yeah, totally. You're in. No worries whatsoever," and so I decided to go for it. That's how I completed my certification in positive psychology, and it's the best course that I've ever taken in my entire life. It completely changed the course of my life, and I'm on a hugely new trajectory now thanks to the world that that opened up for me. Emiliya: Thank you so much for sharing that story, Barbara, and we're so excited that you are offering yourself and all of your wisdom to others. Tell us more about your actual practice of what you offer as a result of having had done the positive psychology training. Barbara: As I said, I had always wanted to do more with my degree and my knowledge. In my practice as a midwife, I saw so many couples who were so happy and so excited to have this baby, then I would bring them through the birth, the labor and the birth, and then they would literally be sitting there with this baby, and life would take over taking care of this child. Our model of care is that we take care of the woman and the baby for six weeks after, and so for the six weeks after that, I would go into their homes and do home visits and help with breastfeeding and help with all the clinical stuff, and I would see them kind of looking at each other like, "Wow, I don't remember who you are." I would have to leave them at the six-week mark, and then they would go off and get a family doctor, and I wouldn't see them again. I always wondered, what happens to these relationships. I really felt deeply that I wanted to help them beyond that point. I thought, what better way to do that than go off and learn about coaching and how to even just do that because I'm from a medical field, so all I know is how to see something medical and fix it. I didn't really know at that point how to be a coach, so positive psychology helped me understand what coaching could look like, and it helped me understand the tools and techniques that we need to flourish. I started applying those tools and techniques to, slowly but surely to some clients that were my guinea pigs, I call them, to help them get through that initial period in their relationship that's really crazy with a new baby. When I saw some things didn't work, some things did work, somethings worked at the beginning that didn't work when the baby was older, some things worked only after about three months and didn't work in the beginning, I started dabbling in that and mindfulness, self-care, gratitude, expressing gratitude to your partner—never mind viewing gratitude and doing a practice of gratitude daily about what you have now. Slowly but surely, it has flourished into a thriving coaching business where people are knocking down my door and people are like, "Can't spread the word enough." I had no idea that this would happen but I'm glad it has because I feel, yeah, I feel like I'm actually contributing to their lives in a really positive way. Emiliya: That is just so incredible, Barbara, and I could just, I could feel the potency of you saying things like, "Here are two people that just birthed life into this world, and then after going through so much intensity together, this element of not even recognizing one another," such a powerful gift to give them that connection of them having a space to reconnect. I'm so passionate about what you're doing, particularly because there isn't much out there for couples by way of a professional environment where they can build their relationships. Couples go to couples therapy when something is wrong, but the things that end up going wrong are made up of these micro moments of disconnect, and the fact that you're giving them tools to learn those micro moments of connection and this idea that they can make little contributions every single day to filling their buckets rather than only having their buckets be tended to when they're empty is just such a huge gift to be giving people. Barbara: Definitely. Thank you, and that's exactly what my mission is, is to build upon what's working and to catch people before they go into that despair, broken place and then need fixing, to catch people when they've had the thought, "Wow, something's not working. It's not broken, it's just I would like more. I want to flourish instead of just function." It's exactly what I love to bring to my clients and couples, for sure. Emiliya: Thank you, Barbara. Barbara, I'm curious, what are some ways in which positive psychology has personally supported you in overcoming some of the challenges that day-to-day life brings? Barbara: As a whole, just the perspective that it takes. Like I said before, it's ... What I loved and what drew me and still draws me to positive psychology is the concept that we don't just need to be neutral and be okay. I want to flourish. I want to flourish in every area of my life. I want to flourish my relationship, my primary relationship. I want to flourish in my relationships with others, my children, my colleagues, my friends, the barista at Starbucks. Emiliya: On-site two! Barbara: Okay, there you go. That was just like, "What? Like actually?" We can change our emotions by just moving our body or by just focusing on what we want instead of what we don't want, and so those practices have built upon themselves within my, every single day from the moment that I learned about positive psychology, and there is such a wealth of knowledge out there. I think I will never learn everything as long as I search for more information, like there's just so much. That, in and of itself, is exciting because I'll never feel stagnant, which is death, right? Emiliya: Well, luckily, this field is ever-expanding as well, which is also what makes it so exciting is it's just constantly growing. Barbara: Right. Emiliya: Barbara, what are some tips or some strategies that couples can use when they are going through some difficult challenges, let's say, as you mentioned, when they have a newborn. That's just such a stressful time where they're sleep-deprived and there's so much depletion happening. What are some of the tips or tricks that couples can use to stay connected during such difficult times? Barbara: I actually work now, and before I worked with couples, and of course, I helped the couple by helping the woman, but now I solely work with women because my, I have to admit to myself that my passion is working with women and helping women. What I tell my women is to really get clear on what their needs are and really get clear on what they want and start focusing on the positive of what they want, not on the negative of what they don't want because whatever we focus on grows and flourishes because it's getting energy. That's one thing. Included in that is gratitude, and I know there's, in positive psychology, there's a huge study on gratitude and how that can transform people's lives, gratitude for anything and everything that's happening in her life in that moment to help pull her out of whatever state she's in because of lack of sleep, because of lack of nutrition, because of pain, because of a screaming baby. That can then trickle into self-care. When we're feeling grateful and we're in a more positive state, we're much better able to take care of ourselves. That is actually the number one key to getting through the first three months. I mean, there are different stages, but immediate newborn, the first two weeks is, you're in a fog and it's insane, like you don't even remember which way is up, but you can litigate that feeling of feeling out of control by really just focusing on everything that you need that you can do besides what your child is demanding of you, so your child is very demanding, and then don't also try to do all the laundry and all the cooking and have makeup on and high heels when your husband comes home, and then expect to not get postpartum depression. So really focusing on getting enough sleep, which there's a whole science behind that in neuropsychology and neurology around not getting enough sleep and the connection to depression and all kinds of ailments, literal, physical ailments, and enough nutrition, so all of those things. It's all so simplistic. Some of your listeners might be like, "Yeah, obviously," but you'd be surprised how quickly the demands of a newborn can make you just completely forget about what you need, and I teach the women to teach that to her partner in a way that's not bitchy, in a way that's not demanding, in a way that's not complaining. All of those life skills will set them up for success in their future relationship with this now child in the middle. Emiliya: Beautiful, Barbara. Thank you so much for those specific strategies, and what a gift it is to even give people the permission to self-care. How often that is lost in our culture, particularly around parenthood, letting other people's needs crush our own and so just to remind people that self-care is health care and that it can, giving them this permission to put the oxygen mask on themselves, which most people do know, but how few us actually do implement and actually get to do. Barbara: Exactly. Emiliya: One of the questions we've been asking our participants is what are some your rules to live by or guiding ethos that you've gathered that inform the way that you show up in the world? Barbara: The common sense approach versus going it through things practically in my head, like, "Oh, this is why I want to do this, this is why I don't want to do this," and writing it out versus just going with my gut. I remember there was a study that was presented to us that showed that more often than not, going with our gut is the better decision, and it just confirmed that that's how I need to live, and that's what I've lived by ever since. I've always been really, really intuitive, even as a child, and my mom would always tell me that I have something special with my intuition. It was nurtured, thankfully, because now as an adult, that part of me is very strong, but the world around me has always made me think that I should be less intuitive and less in that feeling place than I was. I started creating this part of myself that was artificial to me, and it would get me into trouble. I would make decisions based on what looked best on paper and what was a better financial decision and what was a better decision based on how many pros and cons there were. I started making some of those decisions and really being unhappy, so learning about the actual science of decision-making has confirmed in me that the right way for me, and other people might not have that, but the right thing for me is to always go with my gut, and that is something that I live by every moment of every day. Even if I'm standing at an ice cream shop, I go with the gut of which flavor I want. That's a simple thing, but that's what I teach my women is you start feeling unease when you're not living by what your gut is telling you you need. That's where resentment trickles into a relationship and, "You made me do this," and, "You caused this." Meanwhile, it was yourself not listening to your need, and so that is a principle that I've really nurtured and flourished in, and it's gotten me, in a year and a half of being exposed to positive psychology, it's gotten me farther than any other method or decision-making process ever has in my entire life. Emiliya: Thank you so much for sharing that with us, Barbara. It's such an inspiration to hear you say that, particularly because I think so many people want to follow their gut, they want to follow their intuition, but they're not really sure what that means. In what I heard you say, there's such an important part of learning to listen in our ability to hear our own intuition, listening to what does our body need, and it's so interesting particularly with something even as simple as making a decision on what type of ice cream to have. Most people go to their brain rather than to their gut. "What should I eat? What decision should I make?" This opportunity we have to go inward for those decisions for that guidance is such a understated, powerful resource that we all have. Barbara: Definitely. Emiliya: Thank you so much, Barbara. Tell us, how can people find out more information about their work, particularly if they're interested in bringing positive psychology into their relationships. Barbara: Thank you very much. I have a website. It's called barbarasanten.com, super easy, and then my Facebook page is, you'll also find it under my name barbarasanten/positivecoupling. I actually have free video that I just put together, and I'm really excited to share it. It's some tips, actually, about three or four tips on how to start improving your relationship right now no matter where you're at, whether or not you have kids, actually. The link will be below, and yeah, your listeners can access that for free. Emiliya: Awesome, Barbara, that is so cool. Thank you so much, Barbara, for taking the time to be here with us and giving us all of these ideas and strategies for how people might be able to infuse this unique area of their life with positive psychology. Thank you for being here with us. Barbara: Thank you so much, Emiliya. Emiliya: Thanks for tuning in to today's podcast learning about the science behind acts of kindness, how we can increase our sense of well-being in the world, and some simple ways that positive psychology is being put into practice. To learn more about positive psychology and how you, too, can become positive psychology practitioner, visit our website, www.theflourishingcenter.com. Thanks for listening, and may you have a flourishing rest of your day.
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Sungle parent, happy kids

5 Tips for Raising Happy Kids as a Single Parent

The makeup of the “typical” American family has changed a lot in the past 50 years; these days you can find all kinds of different configurations. In 1960, the number of children under age 18 being raised in a two-parent household was 88 percent, according to census data. In 2016, that number had declined to 69 percent. Dual-parent families are still the majority, but being a single parent is no longer as unusual—or as stigmatized as it once was. There are many reasons why a single parent might be raising a family by her or himself, starting with divorce, death and personal choice. Regardless of the reason, single parents face unique challenges that even the most well-adjusted, tuned-in parent can struggle with. I know from personal experience that single parents need support to make their lives and the lives of their children easier, happier and less stressful. Here are some ways to increase your child’s happiness if you are a single parent: 1. Create routines. Schedules and structure make things easier for children because they will know what to expect and that predictability will lower stress for everyone in the household. As my children were growing up, they had a set bedtime and routines that included having lunch boxes and backpacks by the door the night before. We even had weekend routines that included lazy mornings of TV watching and picnic breakfasts. 2. Load up on love, praise and attention. Many single parents deal with financial challenges and the guilt of not being able to provide everything you or your children might want. Your children do not need lavish gifts, expensive outings, expensive tennis shoes or to go to the priciest summer camp. Instead, they need quality time, affection and memory-making experiences. Consider free or low-cost activities such as going on nature walks and taking pictures or baking several kinds of cookies on a weekend afternoon. You can even make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and deliver them to the local fire department. When my kids and I did this one year, the firefighters let them put on their hats and climb onto the trucks for a photo op—it was a win-win and made a terrific memory! 3. Teach gratitude. Children in single-parent families sometimes become acutely aware of things they are missing that other families have. I have often heard children complain about having less money, or two places to visit for the holidays, or that they do not have two parents at a school event, etc. If children (or any of us for that matter) spend too much time focused on the holes in our lives we can end up unhappy and even depressed. While these issues may be realities, it is important to take time to focus on the positives. Teach your kids to appreciate what they do have, whether it is the roof over their head; gifts for their birthdays; or a parent who makes them a sack lunch every day, helps them with homework and watches their favorite television show with them. Here is one great exercise to boost gratitude: At Friday night family dinners, go around the table and say what you are thankful for. 4. Pat yourself and your kids on the back. As a single parent, we are often too hard on ourselves and on our kids. We can get so wrapped up in balancing and juggling it all that we forget to take time out for praise. Give yourself and your children credit for your efforts and hard work. Have an afternoon applause session for you and your child because you quizzed him or her for hours and the result was an A, or because you and your child baked until midnight to get those cupcakes made for the school bake sale. Before dinner each night or even once a week take time out to compliment each other. 5. Connect with similar families. All parents need some grown-up time, and all children need some time to be influenced and entertained by others. Connect with another single parent who has kids close in age and take turns watching each other’s children, having sleepovers and doing activities together. When my kids were young, another single mom and I did three activities each month: One where I had all of the kids and she had a break, one where she had the kids and I got some grown up time, and one where both of our families did things together. We made sure to plan fun and interesting outings or activities for the kids, such as trips to the zoo or museum or cherry picking and swim races at a local pool. We saved money on babysitting while providing our kids with fun and a close bond with other children in the neighborhood. Plus, they had three fun activities with another family to look forward to each month! Stacy Kaiser is a Southern California-based licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is the author of How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, and editor at large for Live Happy. As a former weekly advice columnist for USA Today with more than 100 appearances on major networks, including CNN, FOX and NBC, Stacy has built a reputation for bringing a unique mix of thoughtful and provocative insights to a wide range of topics.
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Greek landscape with ocean

Find Your Blue Zone for a Long and Happy Life

Dan Buettner’s groundbreaking research on longevity has changed our understanding of what leads to a long, happy life. Starting with his 2005 National Geographic cover story, “The Secrets of Long Life,” Dan has allowed us to accompany him on a journey of discovery into the Blue Zones where the world’s happiest and oldest populations thrive.With his new book, The Blue Zones of Happiness: Lessons from the World’s Happiest People, Dan explains how to implement the Blues Zones mindset into your everyday world. LIVE HAPPY:What new insight will we gain from The Blue Zones of Happiness? DAN BUETTNER: That the organizing principle of longevity has less to do with modifying your behavior than with modifying your environment. None of these spry centenarians living in the Blue Zones said, “I’m going to diet and exercise and take supplements so I can live a long life.” But what they did was live in an environment that nudged them to movement and social connections. No matter where you are in the world, that is the underpinning of longevity. And the same is true of happiness. LH: What does the Blue Zones mindset teach us about happiness? DB: There’s a lot of information out there about changing habits to become happier, but the problem is those strategies tend not to work in the long term—and most people want to be happy for a long time! We found the statistically happiest places on the planet and then dissected the anatomy of those places that are not only producing the happiest people, but also the longest-living. Once you can identify all those facets, then you can see how to set up your life to be happy. LH: If you are unhappy with your current situation, what is the most important thing you can do? DB: Pack up and move! It sounds simplistic, but it’s been demonstrated statistically and in real life. There are things you can do—like picking a neighborhood where you can have friendships and walk to the grocery store and create an environment where you run into people enough that friendships combust out of those spontaneous interactions. You are more likely to be happy in a place where you have social connectivity; about the only thing that works for everyone is social connections. So, there are things you can do to stack the deck in favor of happiness. LH: Your book offers ways to bring a Blue Zones environment into all facets of our lives, from the workplace to our finances. What changes will we see when we start implementing some of these practices? DB: It’s subtle. In the financial realm, for example, as we realize that financial security is more powerful than consumption, we gradually shift how we spend our money. It shifts from buying “things” to paying down debt or buying insurance, and as a result, you sleep better, so you feel better. You stop worrying about what happens if something goes wrong, because you feel more secure. LH: What’s the No. 1 thing you want readers to take away from your book? DB: That the path to a happier life is via an environmental change rather than simply a behavioral one. There’s a lot of emerging literature showing that environmental changes are what will make you happier in the long run. And now we have valid science that shows us what we can do to shape our environment for happiness. Listen to our podcast with Dan Buettner: Read more: Ikigai: The Secret to a Long and Happy Life Read more: Fort Worth Kicks Off Blue Zone Initiative Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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6 Ways to Connect with Your Community on Halloween

Opinions on Halloween are mixed. Two thumbs up for adorable kids in costumes and everything pumpkin. Two thumbs down for tricks in your neighborhood that involve eggs and toilet paper. Piles of candy treats make kids happy and dentists cringe. Teenagers trick or treating sans costumes? Not so cool. Also not cool? Being the only house that gives out carrot sticks or toothbrushes. What if our expectations for Halloween are too low? This year, instead of just focusing on candy, take the lead in your neighborhood with these tips for using the holiday as an opportunity to increase the sense of community and spread some happiness and joy. 1. Decorate. Festively decorated homes are warm and welcoming. Decorate your front porch with pumpkins, scarecrows, bats, skeleton bones, spider webs, or witches. Let’s face it, decorations like ghosts hovering from tree limbs and spiders crawling all over trees make Halloween fun. 2. Have a Halloween Open House. Google your favorite adult spooky cocktail or find one on Pinterest and make enough to share with friends and neighbors! Go all out and turn it into a witches brew complete with dry ice. For the little ones, make some ghostly hot chocolate and add white marshmallow ghost Peeps. Have some scary snacks out too. (Tip: Google “spooky recipe ideas” to find tons of ideas both gross and clever.) You don’t have to send out a formal invite or throw a full-blown party, just open your house to parents and kids as they stop by to trick or treat. Offering a welcoming home can foster conversation and new friendships. 3. Host a crafting event. If you’re a parent, find a fun craft on Pinterest or elsewhere and host an event for neighborhood kids at your local community center, neighborhood clubhouse or your home. Buy small pumpkins and set up a table to paint them. Make sure you have an ample supply of googly eyes, glitter glue, child scissors, black and orange construction paper or felt pieces, stickers, crafty jewels and markers. Need other ideas? Consider making cornhusk dolls, pipe-cleaner spiders, or trick-or-treat buckets. If you love to bake, make it a Halloween cookie-decorating party. 4. Be a kid again yourself. On Halloween, give yourself permission to play and be the house on the street that creates a lasting memory for kids. Hand out plastic spiders, fake snakes, or glow sticks. Have some full-size candy bars and give those out to the kids in the most creative costumes. Consider dressing in a costume yourself when you answer the door to trick or treaters. Play spooky music in the background. Share your happy holiday spirit. 5. Use Nextdoor.com to connect. Nextdoor.com is an app that connects neighborhoods in a private group. You can use its Treat Map to let neighbors know the best route for efficient trick or treating (mark your house available for trick or treating) and there’s even a haunted house option for the neighbors who go all out. 6. Volunteer the day after. Gather up some neighbors to walk the neighborhood the next day and collect trash. You are likely to find candy wrappers and other Halloween-related remnants. Beautify your neighborhood while getting some exercise and socializing. Make Halloween something to talk about with your neighbors this year and create a sense of connection with the people who live closest to you. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor for Live Happy, and the CEO and owner of themediaconcierge.net.
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Driving Long Term Goals

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Learn how a simple question can help you identify how satisfied you are with your life. LifeHack—Learn how a simple, proven techniques can help you achieve your long-term goals. Practitioner’s Corner—Learn how Susan Chritton, the author of the book Personal Branding for Dummiesis using positive psychology to change peoples' lives. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center Read the interview from the Practitioner's Corner: Transcription provided by The Flourishing Center Emiliya: Hello everyone, and with me today, I have Susan Chritton, who is a positive-psychology-based executive career coach. She comes to us from California. She was actually part of our very first California-based CAPP program, our Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology Program. She's author of Personal Branding for Dummies, and she's doing some really unique work in the world. I'm so excited to share her with you, because she's helping utilize positive psychology, not just to increase others well- being, but also in how they think about who they are, and the impact that they make in the world. So, thank you so much, Susan for being here with us, and thanks for creating the time. Susan: Great Happy to be here. Emiliya: So Susan, tell us a little bit about your work in the world. Susan: So, I began as really a career counselor and found that I worked so much with people in career transition, which I still do, and I still love that, but I was always frustrated that we weren't doing more work with people in the workplace to help them be happier where they were, and flourishing really, using our terms here in positive psychology. About in the early 2000s, soon after it [positive psychology] started, I started taking classes and learning more about personal branding and have really incorporated that so much into my work and career. Then a few years ago, I think it was 2015 when I did that Positive Psychology Program, I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, this just gives me even more of what I was looking for to help people in their work, and to bring in the positive of how they are best working with themselves." Emiliya: Awesome, and really people on the line might not be familiar with what it means to work with a career coach, or work within personal brandings. So, would you give us a little bit more information about what does that look like, and what does all of that mean? Susan: As a career coach, there are many places that someone could come in and work with you. It could be early on in your career, even or, in a career transition or when you're really trying to figure out, who are you? What do you know how to do? What might be a good place for you in the world, with your set of skills? Over the years, I've worked with a lot of people, just helping them figure out how do they use who they are in the world in a really practical way. So, moving on kind of along the lines, it could be that people work with a career coach to build the tools they need to take that out there. I would say the work that I'm doing today, as I have evolved in my own career, is I work with a lot of pretty senior-level executives, who know who they are, but often need to be reminded. I would say, a lot of my clients are often in their kind of, I would say between late 40's and early 60's, and they're really now doing a big shift from just achievement, to taking their values into the workplace. Taking their values into the way they lead people. That's when I really bring in the piece around personal branding, is that we really look at who are they? How are they seen now? How do they want to be seen, and how do they live a more authentic life? And this is where I do bring in a lot of positive psychology in helping a person look at that, and then identifying how do they want to use that in the world, in a very practical way? Right? So, it's not just like, "Oh, you know, I want to do good in the world." That's great, but we also look at a very practical way about, what do you have to offer, and how do you do that? Emiliya: That is so cool, Susan. Thank you for sharing that. How are you integrating positive psychology research and skills, into that kind of work? Susan: I would say, the first answer that pops in my head, and the place I use it the most is around the strengths. So, in the engagement piece of our work in positive psychology, I use a lot of work around strengths, and I love the combination of using Strengths Finder, along with the VIA Strengths, the Values In Action Strengths, to look at both, what strength do you have that motivates you from within, and what strengths do you have that are talents, that show up out in the world, that are easy for you to do, that come really naturally? So, I would say, the first place I use that is there, and I'll give you a quick story, because I think that stories always illustrate things so much better. I have a client who is a transitioning-out CEO of an educational company. We did a Strengths Finder and he has like strategic and futuristic, and what struck him as odd was that when we did the VIA Strengths, leadership showed up in the bottom third of his strengths. He said, "This really bothers me. I'm a CEO of a company. Part of what I do is leadership." What he said after our discussion as to what motivated him was not to be a leader. What motivated him was being curious, was being creative, and he loved to lead to bring those things out in other people. Emiliya: So cool. What impact did your perspective make on him? Susan: It was really interesting because he had this sort of look of stun on his face, and he goes, "Oh, my gosh. That just changes the way I think about everything." And he said, "All this time, I've been framing that it's all about leadership, and I realized that leadership is just the avenue. What I'm motivated by really is the psyche of curiosity and creativity." And he said what it did, what shifted for him was he said, "I don't need to be a leader to do that." So, it broadened in one sense, the possibilities of what he would do next. He was thinking he needed to show back up as a CEO, but what he really came up with was, "I just need to do really cool, creative work in the world, and if it happens to be with people, I'm good." It was a big shift in that, and I would say, other pieces just kind of go back to your original question, which is how else do I use positive psychology? I look at it often with my clients, because I look at it as really a toolbox, and I listen carefully to what they're looking for, where they're at. What can I pull from my positive psychology toolbox to say, how can I better serve this client at this moment? A lot of times, it could be around the life satisfaction pie. It could be about the idea of optimism and pessimism. So, different things, and I really do look at it in a way. I do actually, I have another kind of funny story is. I have another pretty senior-level client who was being fairly stubborn in his things. I said, "Have you ever heard of that fixed versus growth mindset?" And he goes, "No." And I said, "Well, we need to have a chat about that." That was an interesting one, and that opened up a lot of doors for him to actually start to examine, where was he kind of set in his ways? Emiliya: Thank you, Susan. A number of our listeners may not be familiar with fixed and growth mindset, so will you give us a high-level overview of what you shared with him, and what impact that it made? Susan: What we were looking at is Carol Dweck's work, and so she's written a book called Mindset, where she looked at a fixed mindset, and that is where intelligence is static. It's where people see things in a certain way, and don't necessarily look to challenge themselves to have a growth mindset, which is about intelligence can be developed, and how do you persist when you have setbacks? And things like that. But it's more than that. It's also about challenging your assumptions. For him [my client], it was going from that judging place, which is more of a fixed mindset, to more of a learning mindset. Emiliya: That's exactly what the research, I find, to be the most compelling, is the difference between focusing on judging and proving, and moving it into learning and growing. Like the saying says, that a fixed mindset focuses on showing, whereas growth mindset focuses on learning. Susan: One of the things I really try and do too is, and I think that this is why I was drawn to be a career coach versus maybe other things, I'm very practical, and I always like to say, "Okay, how do I move this from theory to practice? How do I look at taking what I know how to do, and giving people really practical tips?" For example, like the idea of willpower is that you tend to have more willpower in the morning. So, a very practical tip is when you have big decisions to make, try and make them early in the day, before you get too stressed or tired, because you tend to not make as good as decisions then. Unless you have filled yourself up back at lunch with good food, and maybe a little walk around the block, or whatever it might be, but ideally it's that place of, try and make big decisions when you have more willpower to think them through. Emiliya: Awesome. I'm curious, what are some of the positive psychology practices that you utilize the most in your life, that nourish you? Susan: Well, lately this summer, I've been really focused on my health, and just really looking at, what do I need to do to replenish myself? I realized that I had been pushing myself actually for a number of years, and I would say, more than any other time in my life, I let myself have space to just kind of get my own balance back in play. There are many things that I do. Along with that, it's just sort of savoring the moment. That's a positive psychology piece that I do a lot, which is just try and enjoy things. Enjoy my food. Enjoy my walk. I don't even take, this is terrible, but I don't even take my dogs on a walk with me, because that is like, my time where I just look around at the trees, and I wave to the neighbors as I walk, and I listen to all the music I want to listen to. That kind of thing. Emiliya: I love how you are so aware of what you need, and are able to give yourself that sense of self-care. I think it's such an interesting place to even just be able to say, I don't take my dogs for walk because- Susan: I think one of the challenges that sometimes we face in choosing our own self-care is the sense of guilt. For the parents to take the time to practice self-care, if they're not utilizing that time with their children, or for me to take a walk and not bring my dog, because I feel like I would feel guilty that I should be, but instead to think about all the ways in which we need to nourish and feel ourselves first. Emiliya: I'm sure when you come back from that walk, you're much more present to your pet, than you would be otherwise? Susan: I probably am. I have two new kittens, and pay a lot of attention to where they're heading, like the potted plants. I think it's even just, like whereas before I would look at things like even having kittens, and the havoc that they cause. I'm just so enjoying watching them play. I think a big piece of having to working with positive psychology is, and I feel like I'm always been pretty present to what's around me, but I pay even more attention now. Even things like, if I have a down day, I'm just like, "Okay, this is really normal." If anything, and this sounds again, sort of bringing everything back to a singular place, but to me, this is all about permission to be human. Including when I'm not having a great day, and also really accepting who I am, which is I do look at things kind of academically. I was always kind of a different mother, than a lot of the women in my neighborhood, and I just really accept that, because that's really who I am, and it's OK. That's what I love about this whole thing is that who you are becomes OK. Emiliya: Thank you, Susan. I'm curious, in what ways has positive psychology supported you in overcoming any obstacles or challenges, that you've experienced in your life? Susan: Well, I would say even a bigger one I've been working on is, I tended to be more of a pleaser, right? Like I would do things to try to please people or maybe sometimes give up too much a piece of myself to kind of keep that place. Maybe this is not a good advertisement for it, but I have decided that I need to first and foremost, be true to who I am and I've really let go of some of the people that it's not more of a reciprocal relationship, and that's been really healing for me too. I have found that again, and that permission to be who you are, it actually started quite, it was in some ways opening up a big Pandora's box to really look at everything, and saying, "What works for me? What doesn't work for me, and how do I be true to that, including being loving?" I feel like love is one of my top VIA strengths, and it's even in that way, what does that look like? Another piece I've been really playing with and actually thinking about using in my work. I've used this one in a huge way the idea of what the trust equation is. So, the idea of credibility, plus reliability, plus intimacy, over self orientation equals trustworthiness. I have been playing with that one. I don't know why that particular piece of learning really stuck with me, but I play a lot with that about the credibility, reliability, the intimacy. How much we share with each other, and then also, the self orientation, like how much of it's about me? How much of it is about them? How much of it becomes about us? Even looking at that from a, like even social media. I think that that's a huge place to look at. Where do we lose trust in social media, and things like that? Emiliya: I'm such a huge fan of that trust equation too, and for listeners on the line, I'll do it again first, just so that you could digest this. This is the research that comes out directly from the business world. Actually looking at, what does it take for people to feel that another person is trustworthy? And that it has these four components of intimacy. How much is the person lets themselves be seen? It's a credibility. How credible are you around what you're talking about? How credible are you in what you are trying to propose? How reliable are you in the way that you show up, and how much are you oriented around yourself versus others? This equation that has the numerator, being made up of credibility, plus reliability, plus intimacy, divided by self-orientation. The self orientation being on the denominator, and that yes, when we have people who focus so much just on themselves are broadcasting themselves, without a real connection to the people that they're trying to share their work with. We're going to lose our sense of trust. We might not necessarily know why that is, but we'll feel it and I'm right there with you, Susan. I love this research because it's one of those things that we usually feel when we really trust someone, or we feel that we are not really quite sure why I don't trust you as much, but then to have somebody laid out for us in a very specific way, is so helpful, because then it makes a lot of sense. Susan: I think the first place we go to often with trust is, do I feel like they're lying to me, or can I trust what they say? What I like about this equation is it really does break it down into these components of being able to start to understand yourself even, how trust shows up for you on a personal level with that. I think the other piece of my work as a career coach is, I do do a lot on meaning and purpose, and looking at, and of course that is a huge component of people wanting to find more meaning and purpose in their work. Emiliya: How do you support them in doing that? Susan: For starters, I really kind of dissect for them, what are they looking for? What I often see is that people are looking for some grandiose purpose of saving world peace, or that everyone has food on the table. A piece that we look at is, what's their role in that in breaking it down into really some bite-size pieces, that they feel purpose more on a daily basis than because they have an accomplished purpose, than if they're still having purpose. Like often people look and say, it's all about accomplishments or achievement with purpose, and actually that's not so. It's more around connection to your role in the world. That's a place I often play with. Emiliya: I love that. That purpose is something you do. It's not just something you have. It's a choice. It's not the goal that you've accomplished, as much as everyday I'm living my life with purpose in doing purposeful things. Susan: Right. Purpose could be opening the door for somebody that's struggling, and the fact that you're there to help. It doesn't have to be grandiose. Actually, you can find purpose in every single day, if you pay attention. Emiliya: My last question is, Susan, I'm curious if you find that you have any words to live by, or any grounding motto for yourself, that you love to live by? Susan: Well, my very favorite one was from a fortune cookie, probably about 20 years ago. It was, "Life is a precious gift. Do not vegetate." So for me, it is that life is a precious gift, and for me, being a person of action, it is about do not vegetate. It doesn't mean that I can't occasionally do that, but anyway, that's a little motto that I really do live by. For me, it is about taking who I am out into the world, and trying to live by those principles. Emiliya: Awesome, Susan. Susan, if people wanted to find out more about your work, your publications, where would they go to find you? Susan: I have a website. It's just my name so, it's susanchritton.com, and then also, just I'm on Amazon, and barnesandnoble.com for Personal Branding for Dummies. There's some information there as well. Emiliya: Thank you so much for being here with us, Susan. Susan: Great. Thank you, Emiliya. It's always a pleasure to talk to you. Emiliya: Thanks for listening to today's Science Says, Life Hack, and Practitioner Corner. For more information on positivepsychology, the science of happiness and well- being, visit our website, theflourishingcenter.com. Learn about how you too, can bring positive psychology into your home, your work, and your community at large.
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Live Happy’s December Issue Your Go-To Guide to Gifts, Giving Back and Gratitude This Holiday Season

Dallas, Texas – October 23, 2017 – The December issue of Live Happy, available on newsstands on October 24th, is dedicated to the healing power of gratitude and giving back during the holiday season. Readers can also gain inspiration with Live Happy’s gift guide that supports causes around the world, DIY crafts, and recipes. “With this issue we invite readers to clear a quiet, thoughtful space for creating new traditions and finding meaningful moments amid the endless distraction we all wrestle with daily,” says Deborah K. Heisz, Live Happy’s CEO, co-founder and editorial director. The award-winning magazine recently garnered a Folio Eddie Award for Editorial Excellence and two Ozzie Awards for Design Excellence at the 2017 awards luncheon in New York. In this issue, the magazine profiles Grammy Award-winning artist Reba McEntire. She speaks about her new Christmas album, My Kind of Christmas, as well as faith, family, friends, and how she remains positive. “If you think of yourself as ugly, you are going to see yourself ugly. If you think it’s going to be a rotten day, it’s going to be rotten….I know it’s going to be a great day because of that positive in­fluence that I’ve already put out into the atmosphere,” McEntire says. Live Happy also profiles Craig Melvin, co-anchor of NBC News’ Weekend Today, who speaks about staying positive in a negative news world. “I start the day with mindfulness, and to get that rolling along, I use the app Headspace. That helps me sit quietly and reflect on all the good in my life, which puts me in a happy place early in the day.” In addition to the profiles featured in the December issue, readers will find the following stories: The Power of Thank You — Could practicing gratitude help us live longer and better? Sara Algoe, Ph.D., of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill speaks about the benefits of saying thank you. 33 Ideas of Giving Back — Finding ways to do kind things is a powerful and effective practice for boosting your own well-being. Giving can add meaning to your life, build strong bonds with others and is the reason for the season. Have a Little Faith— Research shows that spirituality is one of the character strengths most associated with a meaningful life. It is linked to greater compassion, altruism, volunteerism and philanthropy, all of which help make the world a better place. Ask Stacy – In this month’s Ask Stacy column, licensed psychotherapist, Stacy Kaiser, who also serves as the magazine’s Editor at Large, answers questions about how to overcome feelings of dissatisfaction, suggestions on trusting yourself in love and tips for calming the mind for better sleep Live Happy also goes beyond the pages with Live Happy Now, an inspiring free weekly audio podcast on iTunes that offers interviews with top researchers and experts in the fields of positive psychology and well-being. Readers can also visit LiveHappy.com and espanol.LiveHappy.com for even more information on finding and sharing happiness. Live Happy is available on newsstands at major retailers throughout the U.S., including Barnes & Noble, Whole Foods and Hudson News. It can also be found at Presse Commerce newsstands in Canada, among others. Live Happy’s award-winning digital edition is available to purchase from the App Store and on Google Play. Current subscribers receive complimentary access on their tablet devices and smartphones. Separate digital subscriptions are available for $9.99 at livehappy.com. # # # About Live Happy Live Happy LLC, owned by veteran entrepreneur Jeff Olson, is a company dedicated to promoting and sharing authentic happiness through education, integrity, gratitude and community awareness. Headquartered in Dallas, Texas, its mission is to impact the world by bringing the happiness movement to a personal level and inspiring people to engage in purpose-driven, healthy, meaningful lives. Media Inquiries: Nadine Hachicho nhachicho@kruppnyc.com 212-886-6718 Jill Claybrook Jclaybrook@kruppnyc.com 212-886-6705 Dina White dwhite@kruppnyc.com 646-797-2030
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10 Best Books About Faith

If you ask 10 people for a definition of “faith” you might get 10 different responses. Faith is personal. There is beauty to be found in the ways we define one powerful word. Some define faith as God, others as spirit, belief, light, meaning or hope. Faith describes something bigger than the human experience, which transcends life and yet makes it more meaningful. Over the centuries, wars have been fought in its name. And yet because faith encourages connectedness and community, faith can bring people together. We’ve selected 10 thought-provoking books to launch your personal spiritual journey. 1. The History of God: The 4,000-Year Quest of Judaism, Christianity and Islam By Karen Armstrong Karen Armstrong, a British journalist and former Roman Catholic nun, goes on a quest for God. Using in-depth research and historical storytelling, she contends that the definition of God changes with time and warns that the idea of a personal God can be dangerous because it encourages people to judge, condemn or marginalize others. The History of God shows how Judaism, Christianity and Islam have overlapped and influenced each other. “The idols of fundamentalism are not good substitutes for God; if we are to create a vibrant new faith for the twenty-first century, we should, perhaps, ponder the history of God for some lessons and warnings,” she writes. 2. The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World By Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu “No dark fate determines the future. We do. Each day and each moment, we are able to create and re-create our lives and the very quality of human life on the planet. This is the power we wield.” In The Book of Joy, spiritual leaders Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu encourage readers to move away from materialistic values and focus on inner values and humanity. The book wants readers to realize we are all meant to coexist and use that belief to foster peace in the world. Understand the role you play in creating your own suffering and in creating your happiness. 3. Dancing on the Edge of the World: Jewish Stories of Faith, Inspiration, and Love By Miriyam Glazer Dancing on the Edge of the World is a collection of ancient and contemporary memoirs, fiction and fables about the struggles and joys of Jewish people. A professor of literature at the University of Judaism in Los Angeles, Miriyam Glazer has collected stories that will both inspire and move you. This book is a historical-spiritual journey that seeks to impart what it truly means to be Jewish. 4. A Testament of Devotion By Thomas R. Kelly A Testament of Devotion, first published in 1941 by renowned Quaker teacher Thomas Kelly, includes five compelling essays that urge us to center our lives on God’s presence; to find quiet and stillness within modern life; and to discover the deeply satisfying and lasting peace of the inner spiritual journey. He writes, “Life is meant to be lived from a Center, a divine Center…Life from the Center is a life of unhurried peace and power. It is simple. It is serene. It is amazing. It is triumphant. It is radiant. It takes no time, but it occupies all our time. And it makes our life programs new and overcoming. We need not get frantic. He is at the helm. And when our little day is done we lie down quietly in peace.” 5. Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith By Anne Lamott Anne Lamott, the dreadlocked author of Bird by Bird and Operating Instructions, among other popular books, says the two best prayers she knows are “Help me, help me, help me,” and “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Traveling Mercies depicts her travel adventures and life experiences as they nudge her toward Christian faith (including a consultation with God on how to parent). Relatable and human as always, Anne doesn’t claim to have all the answers, but she “knows how to shine the light of faith on the darkest part of ordinary life to expose pockets of meaning and hope.” Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until the light returns. –Anne Lamott 6. Mere Christianity By C.S. Lewis If you want to understand what it means to be a Christian in a straightforward way, read C.S. Lewis’Mere Christianity, in which the legendary British novelist outlines his fundamental beliefs about religion and human nature. He finds a commonality among Christian faith, which to him shows that “at the centre of each there is something, or a Someone, who against all divergences of belief, all difference of temperament, all memories of mutual persecution, speaks the same voice.” After reading, not only do you gain a better sense of Christianity, but you also put the book down wanting to be a better person. 7. Rooted: The Hidden Places Where God Develops You By Banning Liebscher Author Banning Liebscher, founder of the Jesus Culture Ministry in Sacramento, is on a mission to inspire people to encounter God and be empowered to revive and transform their own community. In Rooted, he encourages you to slow down long enough to allow God to grow a root system in your life so you can bear its fruit. “You are where you are because God has planted you there,” he writes. “Discover what it looks like to embrace His process so you can do what He has called you to, change the world.” You are here to make an impact with God through service,” writes Banning. And to carry it out with humility among your community. 8. The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation By Thich Nhat Hanh Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh uses his poetic style and easy-to-follow interpretations throughout The Heart of Buddha’s Teaching. The book explores how suffering comes in multiple forms and how it, ultimately, can create a path toward enlightenment. “Without suffering, you cannot grow. Without suffering, you cannot get the peace and joy you deserve. Please don’t run away from your suffering. Embrace it and cherish it,” he writes. Readers will learn about several significant Buddhist teachings, including the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path and more. 9. The Soul Searcher's Handbook: A Modern Girl's Guide to the New Age World By Emma Mildon If you’ve ever wanted to learn more about New Age spirituality, this book is for you. The Soul Searcher’s Handbook takes a fun approach to defining everything New Age—from healing crystals to mind-body-spirit practices. Gain a new understanding of “dreamology,” mysticism and astrology, while you also learn to ground yourself in Mother Earth. “Spirituality is not a religion or a trend—it is a lifestyle.It is a lifestyle of awareness that combines the understanding of faith, body, mind and soul, allowing us to live modern-day enlightened lives in small and big ways,” writes author Emma Mildon. Like the New Age itself, there is something for every searcher in this book; take the piece that resonates most with you. 10. Heaven on My Mind: Using the Harvard Grant Study of Adult Development to Explore the Value of the Prospection of Life After Death By George E. Vaillant, M.D. Drawing on the Harvard Study of Adult Development (“The Grant Study”), lead researcher George E. Vaillant, M.D., examines the extent to which a belief in the afterlife influences well-being and survival over the course of a lifetime. Using spiritual and religious biographies of the men in The Grant Study, Heaven on My Mind shows us the significance that faith and hope for heaven have on our everyday life and well-being. The book ultimately reveals that there’s more value in keeping heaven on your mind than you might realize. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor for Live Happy, and the CEO and owner of themediaconcierge.net.
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Spiritual birds

Religion and Positive Psychology With Patty Van Cappellen

Patty Van Cappellen is the Director of the Interdisciplinary Behavioral Research Center at Duke University. Patty earned her Ph.D. in Social Psychology in 2012 and then a Master in Biblical Studies in 2014 from the Université catholique de Louvain, Belgium. Dr. Van Cappellen is currently Associate Editor of the peer-reviewed journal “Archive for the Psychology of Religion”. She is the recipient of a 3-year grant (2017-2020) from the John Templeton Foundation to investigate: “The embodiment of worship: Relations among postural, psychological, and physiological aspects of religious practice.” What you'll learn in this episode: How religion or spirituality can promote a happier life. What could trigger the search for meaning, religion, or spirituality. How some positive emotions, called self-transcendent, can change your outlook on life. Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Check out Dr. Van Cappellen's website here. Download the sketch note for this podcast.
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