Woman tweeting on her phone

You Are What You Tweet

Margaret “Peggy” Kern doesn’t need to meet you to know how happy you are, or to get an idea of how good your physical health is. She doesn’t have to look at a photo of you or consult a crystal ball; she just needs to spend some time with your social media posts. “Words reveal so much about us,” says Peggy, senior lecturer at the Centre for Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne’s Graduate School of Education in Australia. She earned her master’s and doctorate’s degrees in social/personality psychology at the University of California, Riverside, before pursuing additional postdoctoral work at the University of Pennsylvania. “We consistently see the effects of using certain types of language. If people use a lot of hostile language, they tend to have poor relationships, and they have bad habits such as smoking.” Peggy is one of the researchers on the World Well-Being Project at the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center, which measures psychological and physical well-being based on the analysis of language used in social media. Research results showed that people who used agreeable words were less likely to be depressed, while those who talked about pain were more likely to experience depression. In one study, for example, social media users whose posts were dominated by hostile and apathetic words, such as “hate” and “bored,” and cursing showed high risk for atherosclerotic heart disease, while those who used positive words like “wonderful” and “friends” consistently showed lower risk. “The differences are really surprising,” Peggy says. “It’s amazing how quickly you can make a story about someone’s life based on the language they use.” Which Came First? What the research can’t tell us about the subjects studied through the World Well-Being Project is whether negative language was already in place before their physical and mental health were affected, or if a diminished state of health and happiness led to the use of negative language. Peggy says both scenarios are possible. “Language reveals who you are, but it also impacts who you are,” she says. “As you use language and it becomes more and more a part of you, it influences who you are and how you think.” Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D., author of Body Intelligence: Harness Your Body’s Energiesfor Your Best Life, says that words have more power than we might realize, and using them affects us as well as having an impact on the people around us. “If we are constantly using dark or negative language, it’s not just about the words—it’s that we feel negative, too,” he explains. For example, if you frequently say you are “sick and tired” of one thing or another, you’re sending a message to your brain, which will react accordingly. “Our brain understands patterns. So if you keep telling your brain these things, then that pattern becomes your brain wave activity. And then you are sick. Or you’re tired. And you have more stress and more anxiety, and it affects your higher-level thinking and problem solving. In the end, it influences your relationships.” The words we use, Joseph notes, are not only an indication of how we feel, but also a map to where we are headed. “The good news is, you can pay attention to the words you use and possibly avoid getting into problems down the road. Your words will tell you what things are draining our energy and which things are boosting them. It’s not just the words, it’s about looking at where those words are coming from and what that’s doing to us.” The Power of Words There’s also proof from the medical community that words are strong influencers of our mental state. In their book Words Can Change Your Brain, Andrew Newberg, M.D., and Mark Robert Waldman illustrate how the use of certain words can change the brain structures of both the person talking and of those listening. Positive words, their research found, strengthened areas in the brain’s frontal lobe and promoted cognitive brain function. Negative or hostile words, on the other hand, triggered the release of neurochemicals designed to protect us from stress. When those words are processed by the amygdala—our fear center—it sounds the alarm, shutting down our frontal lobe activity and triggering the fight-or-flight response. Just a single word, they write, can influence the physical and emotional stress response. “Words are energetic,” Joseph adds. “First of all, the sound itself is energetic. And then that release of energy impacts the other person.” He suggests putting more thought into what words we use to help create more positive situations and outcomes. “It’s a form of mindfulness we can all practice,” he says. Rethinking Our Talk Knowing how much words can influence the way we think and how they affect others gives us an opportunity to change. Peggy, who has lived both in the U.S. and abroad, says that even the way the evening news is presented has an effect on well-being and mindset. “In the States, every broadcast begins with the words, ‘breaking news,’ ” she says. “So immediately it sends people into crisis mode. It becomes a language that impacts our well-being. Changing the language we use can change the culture and create a positive impact.” Becoming aware of it is the first step, according to Peggy. “We certainly see from neuroscience the idea that growth can happen if you practice something over and over. We can rewire our brains in some ways, but it takes time and it’s constant,” she says. “This is about a pattern you create over a long period of time.” Paula Felpsis the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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A couple of ice skating together

Mindful Dating with Ken Page

Ken Page is a well-known psychotherapist and blogger for both Psychology Today and The Huffington Post who specializes in topics related to intimacy and spirituality. In his best-selling book, Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy, he teaches readers how to find lasting, more fulfilling relationships. What you'll learn in this episode: The common myths about dating that interfere with our relationships The two different types of attraction Why self-love is so important in our relationships Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Purchase his book Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy. Download his free eBook: Four Insights to transform Your Search for Love
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Soul mate couple

The Art of Mindful Dating

Ken Page, a psychotherapist and the author of Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy, has devoted his career to helping people fall in love—the deep, committed, mutual kind of love that lasts a lifetime. And he has come to a blunt realization: “We’re victims of terrible information. We’re told that the great secret to finding love is making yourself more desirable, more attractive. But, in reality, that’s painful and self sabotaging because you’re focusing on what’s not good enough about yourself and that leads you to date from a place of profound insecurity.” A far better alternative, Ken says, is making the search for love a mindful undertaking, one that begins with self-acceptance and moves forward with openness and authenticity. “When you change the way you behave on dates and learn to lead with your true self, your luck changes. Love is what happens when you share your deepest gifts with bravery and generosity.” Here’s how to apply the principles of mindfulness to the search for love: Set Your Intention Write a brief mission statement on why this journey matters to you, says Ken. A mission statement might include statements like, “I want a life of shared adventures” or “I want a sense of family in the world.” Juliet Kaska was in her mid-30s with a highly successful career as a Los Angeles Pilates instructor when she decided to take a dating sabbatical. She had had an active but unsatisfying romantic life with, she says, “a smorgasbord of men.” Through sessions with a therapist and daily meditation, Juliet explored whether she wanted to get married and what she was looking for in a husband. Juliet realized she wanted a mate who had, she says, “a successful life.” That meant, yes, an established career, but also hobbies, interests, friendships, a family life. Out went her on-again-off-again relationships with men who were fun but had no interest in settling down. Several months later, Juliet dove back into the dating world. Listen to our podcast with Ken Page here: It felt different this time. “Because I knew what I wanted; I wasn’t going into dates worried that what he wanted was someone younger or skinnier. The insecurity was lifted and that made dating light and fun and interesting.” In December 2013, Juliet met Simon, a movie producer who is originally from South Africa. “With Simon there was a connection that was otherworldly, and he was the kindest human being I’d ever met. I knew.” In June 2017, Juliet and Simon married in the coastal city of Durban, South Africa. “I’d gotten that internal voice that says you’re not good enough, you can’t get what you want, you don’t deserve it to finally pipe down,” Juliet says. When you’re ready to get started on your own love quest, Ken suggests this micro-meditation. Take two or three minutes to evoke a few of the people who have loved you the most. “They may be alive or not,” he says, “but they are still close to your heart and they would want the best for you, including a relationship that brings you happiness.” Visualize their faces as you imagine them offering words of encouragement. “Let their support infuse you,” Ken says. Stay in the Present When you’re eager for a committed relationship, it’s easy to become so focused on conjecture about a possible future with the person you’re dating that you undermine the chances of achieving a genuine connection. “That’s when your date turns into a job interview,” says Judith Sills, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author of A Fine Romance: The Passage of Courtship from Meeting to Marriage. “Instead of trying to interrogate a prospective partner, let yourself experience him or her the way you experience your friends. You’re really just trying to have a lovely conversation where you can exchange ideas in an easy, relaxed way. It’s not about, ‘Should I rule you out as a lifetime companion?’” Forget, “What happened with your last marriage?” or “How many serious relationships have you had?” or “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Instead, opt for neutral, open-ended questions about, say, a recent vacation, a new running regimen or favorite local restaurants. These are questions that convey, “I’m interested in getting to know you. I’m not gathering information about your social status.” Staying in the present also means tolerating ambiguity, which is one of the challenges in the early stages of a romance, says psychologist Michelle Skeen, Psy.D., the author of Love Me, Don’t Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment & Building Lasting, Loving Relationships. “You can’t know where a relationship is going on the first or fifth date,” she says. “You might not even know whether he or she is dating other people, and that lack of certainty can be very uncomfortable.” To handle the uncertainty, try to relax into the present moment as much as you can. After all, says Michelle, projecting into the future can lead you to overlook vital information that’s right in front of you, such as whether the other person shares your values. Amy Bastianelli, a 31-year-old clinical social worker in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, remembers a feeling of unease when she was dating her first husband. “I totally checklisted him,” she says, “from ‘Will he be a good provider?’ down to ‘Likes dogs.’ I’d read these studies that couples are most likely to be successful if they come from similar religious and socioeconomic backgrounds. That was true for us, and I wasn’t able to see beyond that to what was really important. Or, rather, I ignored my gut feeling that we weren’t aligned, that our relationship was completely and utterly devoid of any emotional or spiritual connection.” Try your best to put aside the spreadsheets and the crystal ball so you can tune into the vibe between you and the person with whom you’re sharing a cocktail, dinner or a hike. Pay attention to your feelings, Ken says. Do you feel pleasure? Warmth? Is there a sense of fun? Do you feel inspired? Unsafe? Criticized? Do you like who you are in the presence of this person? Does he or she bring out your best self? Be Your True, Vulnerable Self Many of us are striving to provide “perfectly sculpted responses” as we text, message or get together with new dates, Ken says. “But there’s got to be this feeling of essential comfort, and you won’t get to that if you’re trying to be polished and perfect.” That’s what Amy believed when she decided to try dating through the new MeetMindful app after her marriage collapsed. “I was determined to not filter myself, to not think about what I should and shouldn’t say,” she says. On her profile, she wrote that she was a single mom looking for intimacy, friendship and a deep spiritual connection. The night before her first date with Eric McKinley, a Philadelphia public defender, she texted him that she was nervous because she hadn’t been on a date in the nine years since she’d met her ex-husband. “That’s something I never would have shared with my ex,” Amy says. In fact, her first date with her ex-husband had been an uneasy one. “I remember thinking, ‘Should I order salad or a steak? What would each say about me?’ It was this ‘other-izing’ of myself, trying to see myself as he would see me.” With Eric, there was none of that. From the beginning, “I was not at all self-conscious,” she says. “I was completely comfortable around him.” The proof: on their first date, Amy ordered crab nachos and a beer. “That was what I wanted and I didn’t care what impression I made or how messy the nachos would be.” In late October, 10 months after they met, Amy and Eric wed in New Orleans before a small group of friends and family. “It keeps getting better,” she says of their relationship. Still, staying true to herself requires vigilance. “To this day, I will sometimes relapse. I need to be mindful of not trying to be who I think Eric wants me to be.” Take, for example, when he asks, “Do you want the charred Brussels sprouts?” and she says yes. “He’ll look at me and say, ‘Really? What’s going on with you?’ And he’s right. I don’t want the Brussels sprouts,” Amy laughs. “It’s a reminder that Eric fell in love with the real crab-nacho me, and that’s who I’m going to be.” Finally, Ken offers this tip: “When you’re feeling enthusiastic about someone, let yourself show it,” he says. “Once you make the choice that you’re only going to date people with whom you can be yourself, you protect yourself from jerks, you speed up the process and you give yourself permission to take pleasure in savoring the rich moments of connection.” Read more: 7 Keys to a Happy Relationship Shelley Levitt is an editor at large for Live Happy magazine.
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Jack Wagner and co-star in Wedding March 3

Romantic TV Movie Stars Share Valentine Advice

Along with roses and chocolates, romantic movies are among the main ingredients for a perfect Valentine’s celebration. This year is no exception with networks like Hallmark Channel debuting original programming geared toward falling—and staying—in love. We caught up with some of the stars of Hallmark Channel’s My Secret Valentine, and Wedding March 3: Here Comes the Bride (premiering Feb. 17) to find out how they keep the embers of romance burning. Andrew Walker(My Secret Valentine) Live Happy: What’s the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? My wife leaves notes in my suitcase every time I travel. I never know where I’ll find them; I love it. What is the most romantic gesture you’ve done for someone? I proposed to my wife in the Yukon with a piece of string in a ring box. We were in the middle of the wilderness with no one around for miles. She thought that was pretty romantic. What’s your ideal Valentine’s Day date? I would spend it in a cabin on a lake in the snow, fireplace roaring, snow coming down, while preparing dinner and drinking an excellent bottle of wine. What’s your favorite romantic movie? I love When Harry Met Sally because it’s a timeless story of finding love when you least expect it. What advice do you have for your younger self regarding love and/or dating? Ask more questions when on a date and be a good listener! Lacey Chabert (My Secret Valentine) Live Happy: What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? My husband (boyfriend at the time) proposed to me over Valentine’s Day weekend. I’m very hard to surprise and he somehow pulled off completely surprising me. It was such a romantic moment—I’ll always remember it! Also, when we were first dating, my husband and I were at dinner and there was someone selling roses. Typically you’d buy one rose to give to your date, but he bought the entire bouquet, which was about three dozen roses. It was so sweet! What is the most romantic gesture you’ve done for someone? For our wedding, I surprised my husband with a video montage of all of our childhood pictures and photos from our relationship up until our wedding day. He was really touched by the meaningful video of all the memories we’ve created together. If you could do anything for Valentine’s Day, how would you spend the day? Since we’ve had a child, my idea of a good day would be a nice long nap! (Kidding.) My ideal Valentine’s Day would be getting a massage and then getting dressed up for a fun dinner. We are both foodies and enjoy dining at our favorite spots in Los Angeles. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? I do! Notting Hill, Love Actually, and You’ve Got Mail are a few of my favorites. The characters are so relatable and you know you’ll be left with a good feeling at the end. I love a happy ending. I’ve seen those movies a hundred times and they never get old. Jack Wagner (Wedding March 3: Here Comes the Bride) Live Happy: What’s the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? The most romantic thing about Valentine’s Day is that my valentine allows me to spoil her. I’ve always relished the romantic tradition of the day. I find that an honest written card means so much more than any gift. Of course it doesn’t hurt to follow up with some roses and jewelry! What’s your ideal Valentine’s Day date? If you could do anything, how would you spend the day? Now that I’m older I’d spend the day in my man cave, get flowers and a gift then look my best to take out my valentine for a romantic dinner. What’s your favorite romantic movie? Honestly, The Wedding March 2: Resorting to Love [which Jack stars in with Josie Bissett] is the most romantic movie to me.I love the way that the viewers are invested in my character and Josie Bissett’s and that they see the journey of these two characters through several films because it is a franchise. What advice do you have for you younger self regarding love and/or dating? I was raised in a small town in Missouri and learned that manners go a long way. My advice would be to put the phone down, let your actions speak louder than your texts and learn to be a real man at an early age. What’s your favorite stress-buster? The best way to manage stress is to turn everything over to gratitude.Be thankful for what you have. Gina Roberts-Grey is a freelance writer based in New York, and a frequent contributor to Live Happy. Her most recent piece was a profile of actress Allison Janney.
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Woman hunched over with a bird on her back

Dealing with Depression with Brent Williams

New Zealand native Brent Williams was a successful human rights attorney when a debilitating illness halted his career. The depression that overtook him not only ended his career, but also destroyed relationships with friends and family. In his new graphic novel, Out of the Woods, he chronicles his personal journey through depression while also sharing self-help strategies and some of the latest research on depression. What you'll learn in this episode: How keeping a journal can help with depression When to ask for help How to help friends and family members who struggle with depression and anxiety Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Purchase his book Out of the Woods: A Journey Through Depression and Anxiety. Download a free sample of his book.
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Happy women in a cafe

Ask Stacy: How Can I Feel Happier for Other People’s Success?

Obstacles and conflict inevitably get in the way of our happiness, especially when it comes to relationships. I developed this advice column to help Live Happy readers overcome these stumbling blocks. I look forward to hearing from more of you soon at AskStacy@livehappy.com. Hi Stacy, How do you become genuinely happy for someone else who is doing well? I hate that I lack this quality. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, wondering if it’s jealousy, envy, frustration.... It’s definitely something I want to change. —Konnie Dear Konnie, You have correctly figured out the emotional layers behind what you are feeling. The good news is that any feeling that is caused by our own internal issues is easiest to change. The emotional reaction you are having is likely caused by feelings of inadequacy, negative thinking or a need to shift your focus. If your reactions are coming out of feelings of inadequacy, ask yourself what kind of judgments you may have internalized. Are you comparing yourself to others? Are your needs going unmet, or is your life filled with disappointment? Do you think that you have less than you deserve? If you have answered “yes” to any of these questions, work on the underlying issues and try to find some appreciation and gratitude for the good things in your life. When you are experiencing negative thoughts about people who are doing well, take time to reframe and focus on positive ones instead. Are these people deserving of good things? Have they worked hard? Have they had their share of challenges already? Focus on the reasons you should be happy for them. Perhaps you are too busy thinking about what other people have instead of investing time and energy in your own life? Ask yourself if you are feeling envious because the other person is doing well and you are not. You might want to begin to set goals to improve your life so that you, too, can be happy and fulfilled. Hi Stacy, My wife and I are huge fans. We have been married for more than nine years, and I have lied to her about spending money on items that we don’t need. I have been selfish, and I hate where our marriage is right now. I want to fix our marriage, and any advice would be very much appreciated. —Jasen Dear Jasen, Conflict over finances in a marriage is very common. Rarely is a couple on the same page about how much to save, spend, donate, etc. I would recommend that all couples work out agreements over basic financial decisions before they merge finances. My hunch is that you and your wife have not done that yet, and as a result, you have felt the need to lie to her about spending money on unnecessary items. The good news is that you realize you made a mistake and want to improve yourself and your marriage. It is never too late to try to make changes and to heal the errors of your past. Schedule a time to sit down with your wife. Start by telling her how much you love her and that you deeply regret some of the ways that you have behaved when it comes to finances. The best apologies not only include the official “I’m sorry,” but also involve taking responsibility for what you have done and making a commitment that this behavior will not continue. Then discuss how you will move forward with your finances.You say you spend money on items that you don’t need, but maybe you want to have the freedom to do some of that. Many couples I know have a budget that allows them to spend a small amount frivolously and without permission. I give you a lot of credit for trying to improve your behavior and your relationship. Hopefully, the two of you can move forward in a closer and more honest way. Hi Stacy, My husband is not a communicator. He does talk with me, but he does not communicate his feelings. He is a good, hard-working man, and he provides all the basics. He buys me gifts on my birthday and anniversary and if he travels for work, he brings me a souvenir from the airport. This may sound as if I am a bad person, but I don’t really care about these airport souvenirs. He also barbecues my favorite steak on Sunday nights. While this is very kind of him, I would much prefer the occasional “I love you” or kind word. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but do you have any advice on how I might get him to express his love for me? —Gloria Dear Gloria, Your letter describes a common issue that a lot of couples face. It sounds like you and your husband have different ways of expressing your love and affection. If your definition of communicating requires verbal feedback, then I can see why you think he is not much of a communicator.That said, based on what you have written, your husband is communicating. His style is through giving gifts and cooking for you, instead of expressing how he feels with kind words and I love you’s. I suggest you make a list of the ways he shows you he loves you and cares about you—using nonverbal communication. I believe you’ll see he is more loving and attentive than you realize. Then, in a quiet moment, talk with him about how much it would mean to you if he would begin to express verbally how he feels about you. Let him know that you appreciate the gestures he is already making but that a kind word or two would be incredibly meaningful. We want to hear from you! Send your happiness questions toaskstacy@livehappy.com. Read more: Ask Stacy: Expert Tips for a Happy Life Stacy Kaiseris a Southern California-based licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is the author ofHow to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know,and editor at large forLive Happy. As a former weekly advice columnist forUSA Todaywith more than 100 appearances on major networks, including CNN, FOX and NBC, Stacy has built a reputation for bringing a unique mix of thoughtful and provocative insights to a wide range of topics.
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Correct Perfectionalism

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—New research study interviews 4,000 millionaires to determine if money is related to their happiness. LifeHack—Learn how to manage your expectations to become the right kind of perfectionist. Practitioner’s Corner—Eliza Butleris an integrated wellness coach who specializes in anxiety and negative self-talk. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center
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Two women back to back.

7 Ways to Stay Fit and Healthy at Work

Hard work builds character, pays the bills and may even be good for the soul. But recent research shows that some aspects of work life—the stress, long hours, missed sleep and constant sitting—is terrible for our bodies and general well-being. Many of us spend a lot of time in an office—a place that encourages a sedentary lifestyle punctuated by sugary snacks. Here are some easy hacks to help keep you moving and a little more fit around the office. 1. Park around the corner. That executive parking spot next to the front entrance may not be such a prize after all. Do your body a favor and park as far from the door as possible. Depending on the ticketing situation, park down the street or around the corner! Then watch as the extra steps add up. 2. Take the stairs. Unless you work in a skyscraper, try taking the stairs for a few floors and see how soon you can do it without feeling winded. Your office is offering you a free Stairmaster—no need to join the gym. 3. Bring your own lunch. Although the number of healthy take-out lunch places has grown, you still can’t beat making your own food from scratch when it comes to avoiding unhealthy things like salt, sugar and fat—not to mention the cost. Try bringing a big salad from home one or two days a week; leave bottles of olive oil and vinegar in your office kitchen to use as dressing. 4. Pack snacks. Even if you don’t like donuts, you will eat a donut from the kitchen come 5 p.m. if you’re starving. The answer is to not be starving. Bring almonds, fruit and protein bars to work—or whatever you crave in the afternoon when our willpower gets weak. Keep a couple healthy snacks on hand in case of emergency. 5. Go for walking meetings. Weather permitting, try going for a walk with your co-workers every afternoon. It’s a great way to enjoy being outdoors, get a little exercise and bond with your office-mates. You might even untangle a tricky work situation while strolling. 6. Take a time-out. Recent medical research shows a connection between sitting and heart disease. We know we need to get up and move, but it’s easy to get lost in work and let the hours roll by. Set your phone to vibrate or beep every 90 minutes or so as a reminder to get up and stretch. Use a wall as a balance to stretch your arms, hands, shoulders, and work all the way down to your quads and calves if you can by the end of the day. 7. Reboot your commute. In some places, biking or walking to work is simply not an option. But if you can swing it (perhaps with an assist from public transit), challenge yourself to get to work under your own power, starting with just once a month. You will arrive feeling empowered, energized and ready to take on the day. (Pack an extra shirt as needed.) One study from the U.K. shows that biking to work may even help you live longer. So what are you waiting for? Read more: 9 Tips to Be Happier Working From Home Emily Wise Miller is the Web Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Elderly couple walking together

How to Build Love that Lasts with Suzie Pileggi Pawelski and James Pawelski

In the movies, happily ever after comes pretty easily. In real life? Not so much. But the husband and wife team of Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, a writer with a Master of Applied Positive Psychology degree from the University of Pennsylvania, and James Pawelski, Ph.D., professor of Practice and Director of Education in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, have learned a few things about what it takes to be “Happy Together.” That’s the name of their new book, Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love that Lasts, and in this podcast they share the secrets of what it takes to create deep, lasting love. What you'll learn in this episode: How to bring out the best in yourself and your partner The importance of prioritizing positivity in your relationship How to go on a "strengths date" Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Purchase their book Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love that Lasts. Check out their website here. Follow them on Facebook.
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Best books for 2018

Top 10 Books That Will Change Your Life in 2018

When inspiration catches you at just the right moment, it can change your life. A new way of looking at things or an insightful tip can motivate you to create more meaning and fulfillment in your life. To help you find those ideas, we’ve narrowed your search by culling some of the most exciting new books about happiness, health and wellness, productivity and more. Get ready to shake up your status quo—one of these books may just hold the key you’ve been looking for. 1. The Hope Circuit: A Psychologist’s Journey from Helplessness to Optimism by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D. In his new book, which comes out in April 2018, positive psychology founder Martin Seligman takes an in-depth look at the history of the positive-psychology movement and intersects it with stories from his own life. He shares his personal struggle with depression at a young age and argues that by harnessing hope, gratitude and wisdom, anyone can achieve mental health and a brighter, more fulfilling future. 2. Big Potential: How Transforming the Pursuit of Success Raises Our Achievement, Happiness, and Well-Being by Shawn Achor In Shawn Achor’s bestselling book The Happiness Advantage, his research revealed that happiness leads to success, and not the other way around. In his follow-up book, Big Potential, Shawn shows that our connectivity with others is the path to fulfilling our potential. By pursuing success alone—or pushing others away—we limit our potential and become more stressed and disconnected. Studying people in 50 countries, he identifies five “seeds” or strategies to achieve big potential in today’s complex world. 3. The Healing Self: A Revolutionary New Plan to Supercharge Your Immunity and Stay Well for Life by Deepak Chopra and Rudolph E. Tanzi, Ph.D. Deepak Chopra, an expert on integrative medicine, and Rudolph E. Tanzi, the neuroscientist who identified the genes that cause Alzheimer’s disease, team up to show us how to take care of our immune systems for lifelong health. This brand-new book provides a “transformative plan to enhance your lifelong wellness,” including ways to better manage chronic stress and inflammation with the right lifestyle choices. 4. Your Best Year Ever: A 5-Step Plan for Achieving Your Most Important Goals by Michael Hyatt Will this be the year you finally achieve a long-held goal? Discover how much power you have to act and effect change in your life. “We need to get beyond our natural urge to play it safe. Playing it safe is not that safe,” writes author Michael Hyatt, the former chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. This book outlines a five-step plan to achieve the goals you care about most. One of his tips: Use gratitude as an important tool for success. 5. The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations by Oprah Winfrey Fans of Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday TV show will love this book—a collection of wisdom and “aha moments” from the show. Featuring insights from thought leaders such as Eckhart Tolle, Thich Nhat Hahn, Arianna Huffington and Shonda Rhimes, each chapter focuses on a different life-changing insight. “All of us are seeking the same thing. We share the desire to fulfill the highest, truest expression of ourselves,” Oprah writes. Read it to discover how to live more purposefully in the present moment. 6. Make Your Bed: Little Things that can Change Your Life by Admiral William H. McRaven In a commencement address at University of Texas at Austin, Admiral William H. McRaven shared 10 principles from his Navy Seal training that helped him overcome challenges. “Without pushing your limits, without occasionally sliding down the rope headfirst, without daring greatly, you will never know what is truly possible in your life,” he said, and the speech went viral, with more than 10 million views. His ultimate message: Face hardship and challenges with determination and compassion. Turn to this book when you get in a slump and need to recharge. 7. The Power of When: Discover Your Chronotype—and the Best Time to Eat Lunch, Ask for a Raise, Have Sex, Write a Novel by Michael Breus, Ph.D What if your life could improve dramatically just by understanding your natural rhythm of sleep and wakefulness? Knowing whether you are a morning person, night person or somewhere in between matters, according to Michael Breus, clinical psychologist and a diplomate of the American Board of Sleep Medicine. Each of the four chronotypes are represented by a different animal. Most people are bears, and their body clock tracks the rise and fall of the sun. Wolves are night people and lions are morning people. Dolphins often have trouble with sleep. Once you identify your chronotype, the book explains how to set up the ideal daily schedule to maximize your energy and get better sleep. 8. Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David, Ph.D. The way we navigate our inner world—our thoughts, emotions and the narratives we form about ourselves—isthesingle most important determinant of our life success, explains Susan David, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School. Our inner world drives our actions, careers, relationships, happiness, health—in short, everything. Learn a new way to talk to yourself and navigate your inner world with more flexibility. Evaluate your emotions and use them to more closely align your life with your values. Learn how to be emotionally agile, says Susan, and you will thrive. 9. I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time by Laura Vanderkam Organizational expert and author Laura Vanderkam set out to discover how women who thrive manage to “do it all” using real data. She collected hour-by-hour time logs from 1,001 days in the lives of women who make at least $100,000 a year. What she discovered about how these women spend their time surprised her. They went jogging or to the gym, played with their kids and had lunches with friends—finding time for the things that made them happy and gave them meaning. Instead of adhering to rigid schedules, they piece together their days “like a mosaic.” Restructure your day so you live life more fulfilled, says Laura; be kind to yourself and realize that quality family time around the dinner table is important. 10. How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly’s Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life by Heather Havrilesky Simply realizing that we are all in this life together can empower you to take risks and face new challenges, says Heather Havrilesky, author of “Ask Polly,” a weekly advice column for New York magazine. In this book, Heather shares a collection of wisdom gleaned over years of doling out advice—delivered with her signature grit and humor. “Every morning, you will wake up and see that life is all about fumbling and acceptingthat you’re fumbling. It’s all about saying nice things to yourself, even when you’re lazy, even when you’re lost. It’s about giving yourself the love you need in order to try,” she writes. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor for Live Happy, and the CEO and owner ofthemediaconcierge.net.
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