India

Choosing Happiness

Spring might be taking its time in getting to the United States this year, but happiness was blossoming around the world for the International Day of Happiness (IDOH). In 2012, the United Nations officially named March 20 the International Day of Happiness, and since 2013, Live Happy has encouraged people to create Happiness Walls where people could post a card that explained how they celebrated happiness. In 2018, Live Happy founders Jeff Olson and Deborah K. Heisz set a goal of having 500 walls worldwide—and surpassed that number by 200. Deborah went to Facebook to express her gratitude to everyone who made this goal possible. “I want each of you to know that you made and are making an amazing difference in the world,” she posted. “You are part of a movement and you are leaders in that movement. I can’t thank you enough for caring enough to make the world a happier place.” This year’s Live Happy celebration saw walls in every state in the U.S. and in more than 20 countries, ranging from bulletin boards in homes, schools and nursing homes to large free-standing walls that served as the centerpiece of festivals and daylong celebrations. Happy Dance, USA In Texas, happiness visited The Shops at Willow Bend in the Dallas suburb of Plano on March 17. Throughout the day, singers from the Septien Entertainment Group serenaded mall visitors. Shoppers were brought to smiles by the movin’, groovin’ and hula-hoopin’ that went on throughout the day. Children colored their happiness with the help of the newly openedCrayola Experience. Of course, since it fell on St. Patrick’s Day, the day wouldn’t have been complete without a tribute to ol’ St. Pat himself courtesy of the young dancers from the Maguire Academy of Irish Dance. Deb Johnsen volunteers for the Plano event every year, and one of her roles is to urge people to participate. She says some people initially have a hard time coming up with something to write down, but one man did not hesitate to say how happy he was to be with the same woman for more than 50 years. “That was a nice moment to hear him speak that gratitude out loud,” she says. Giddy as Goats Damp weather in Nashville, Tennessee, moved festivities inside, but baby goats brought their own special brand of joy to the event. In addition to the Happiness Wall, the main attraction of the celebration were baby goats (in pajamas) from Shenanigoats Yoga. “Happiness and baby goats just go together,” explained Jamie Codispoti, co-owner of the goat yoga company. “It’s immediately relaxing to hold a baby goat, and everyone is happy. It’s like a form of therapy.” That was evident from the smiles and selfies taken with the four-legged guests, but the overriding message of the day wasn’t lost on people stopping by the wall. “We just don’t take time in our daily lives to think about all the things that bring us joy,” said Nashville resident Kourtney Hennard. “This is great, because it makes us mindful of the things that already make us happy and reminds us how we can bring more happiness into the lives of others.” Viva Feliz Since IDOH is an international holiday, Live Happy took its show on the road and hosted a wall in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, at the first-ever Happiness Fest created by Luis Gallardo, who also serves on the council on the United Nations International Day of Happiness. The weeklong event featured happiness guides and experts from more than 40 countries, including Jennifer Moss, Raj Raghunathan and Amy Blankson. “We are very proud about the magnificent experiential learning community that gathered in San Miguel de Allende to share and manifest a world with more happiness and less misery,” Luis says.
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Compassion and Empathy

Dare to Care

If it sometimes seems that the world isn’t quite as kind as it used to be, it may not be your imagination. One of the growing concerns among psychology researchers is the declining level of compassion—and its companion, empathy—in modern society. In fact, at the same time researchers from the University of Michigan found that students’ empathy levels are declining, psychologist and author Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D., has found a rise in narcissism. There’s also a significant indication that some of the factors adding to this include social media and a lack of connection between people. “Technological distractions often keep us from being present,” says Louis Alloro, a senior fellow with the Center for the Advancement for Well-Being at George Mason University. “Even Charles Darwin noted that evolutionary success depends upon kindness and compassion. It’s something that everyone needs.” However, when we allow ourselves to be distracted by technology, we may be less likely to listen to others or to notice their suffering. The connection is so strong that Stanford University launched a Compassion and Technology Conference in 2013 to look at how toovercome the lack of social connection that occurs as we become more tech-centric. “Add to that a divisive environment, where it’s a ‘me vs. you’ mindset, and we’re not connecting with each other,” Louis says. “That drives away empathy and compassion.” Living Better, Longer While empathy is often confused with compassion, they are actually two separate experiences—but they play a crucial role together. Empathy occurs when you feel someone’s emotions, such as sharing the pain your best friend is experiencing over her divorce. Compassion is the response to those emotions and makes you want to help. In essence, empathy can be the fuel that propels compassion forward. “Empathy lends emotional weight to our kindness,” explains Jamil Zaki, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at Stanford University. “It’s an umbrella term that refers to the multiple ways that we respond to other people’s emotions, including not only sharing their feelings but also understanding what they feel and why.” Nashville hairdresser Kayce Tutor has always been quick to help family and friends in need, but when she began volunteering and sharing her compassion with strangers, it changed her life. Once a week, on her day off, Kayce volunteers with the Nashville organization ShowerUp, a mobile shower truck that provides hygiene resources, meals and health care screenings to the homeless. “I set up a chair and tools next to the truck and do haircuts, beard and neck trims and even the occasional French braid,” she says. “Sometimes I have 10 or 12 people in my chair in one night; it’s not much different from what I do in the salon, other than the location.” Her personal Facebook page frequently reflects her most recent concerns and provides suggestions for how others can get involved. She rounds up donations from friends and co-workers for her weekly ShowerUp visits. And while the people who sit in her chair each week are considered the beneficiaries of her compassion, Kayce says she has gotten the greatest reward. “Since I started volunteering, I’ve felt a change in my anxiety level. I feel lighter and happier. It’s something so simple that took me so long to figure out, but what you give to other people you get back in abundance.” Kayce’s experiences align with Jamil’s finding that empathy and compassion may hold a key to not only living a happier, healthier life, but a longer one as well. “It can lead to a lot of good things, like prosociality, morality and connection,” he says, and it also affects our physical health. Studies show that people who practice compassion have a lowered stress response, which is directly related to harmful inflammation in the body. As Kayce noted, compassion also makes you feel good and slows down your heart rate, thanks to the release of the hormone oxytocin. What’s even more interesting, Jamil says, is that it isn’t just practicing compassion and empathy that builds better health; being on the receiving end of empathy can help give both our mental and physical well-being a boost. “Patients with empathetic doctors are healthy and happier,” Jamil says, “And employees with empathic bosses take less time off for stress-related illnesses.” There’s also evidence that people with empathic spouses experience greater marital satisfaction. But if it’s so good for us, why is it so easily tossed aside? “In the face of conflict, empathy gets turned upside down,” Jamil says. “It’s easy to empathize with people who look or think like us, but less easy to empathize with people who are different. As a result, we often dole out our kindness in ways that are uneven and biased.” Back to Basics As it turns out, we might be hard-wired for compassion. Dacher Keltner, Ph.D., author of Born to Be Good and faculty director of the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, has studied how compassion affects the autonomic nervous system. In the lab, studies have found that the vagus nerve, which controls unconscious bodily functions like digestion and heart rate, reacts strongly to images of suffering and distress. This indicates to researchers that compassion isn’t just a learned response; it’s a built-in instinct. Dacher even coined the phrase “compassionate instinct” to explain that compassion is a natural response that was essential for our survival. Even though it appears to be instinctual, compassion is something that needs to be nurtured. Practices like doing a daily loving kindness meditation, in which you send positive, healing thoughts both to yourself and others, is a good starting point. Learning how to practice compassion can make a profound and immediate difference, but it’s something that we must choose and practice every day. “It does involve some unlearning, especially if we’ve gotten used to not exercising compassion,” Louis says. “But the bottom line is, compassion feels good. It feels good to practice it and it feels good receive it. It’s exactly what we need to heal people, to heal organizations and to ultimately heal the world. It’s that powerful.”
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Mo Gawdat of Google

World Happiness Summit Delivers Joy

The International Day of Happiness arrived ahead of schedule in Miami with the second annual World Happiness Summit, or WOHASU. An estimated 600 people from 35 countries gathered at the University of Miami’s Shalala Student Center for three days of speakers, music and yoga—and to share their #HappyActs on the Live Happy Happiness Wall. “To see people coming from more countries than last year and to see everyone happy has been wonderful,” said Karen Guggenheim, founder and CEO of WOHASU. “It’s all about teaching people a sustainable happiness practice.” Listen to our podcast interview with Karen. In 2012, the United Nations officially named March 20 the International Day of Happiness, and since 2013, Live Happy has encouraged people to create “Happiness Walls,” where people could post a card that explained how they celebrated happiness. This year, Live Happy founders Jeff Olson and Deborah K. Heisz set a goal of having 500 walls worldwide—and surpassed that number by 200, including the wall prominently located at the Miami summit. With attendees from such countries as France, Costa Rica, Portugal and South Korea, the event brought different cultures together under the umbrella of happiness. “I am so thankful to find an event like this,” said Sonia Navarro, who recently moved to Miami from Los Angeles. “It’s confirmation. I always tend to choose happiness, but this reminds me how beautiful it is to feel both the happy times and the sad times. This has been a great experience and everyone is super positive.” Examining Happiness Each day of WOHASU began with early morning yoga classes before moving inside for a full day of speakers such as Tal Ben-Shahar, Fred Luskin, Lord Richard Layard and Michael Steger examining such topics as the state of happiness, the role of forgiveness and the importance of purpose and meaning. Panel sessions looked at the relationship of art and happiness, how to create a happier world and the importance of happiness in the workplace, while breakout sessions gave attendees the opportunity to take a closer look at topics they were interested in exploring. Each day wrapped up with musical performances, and Stefan Sagmeister held a screening of his movie, The Happy Film, on Friday night. For more from Stefan about his film, listen to our podcast. One Billion Happy Mo Gawdat, former chief business officer for Google [X] and author of Solve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy, not only talked about the role of happiness in the workplace, but also announced his new initiative, One Billion Happy, which he officially launched on March 20 in conjunction with the International Day of Happiness. One Billion Happy is Mo’s mission “to help 1 billion people become happier…so that together we can create a small-scale pandemic of joy.” “Happiness seems to be the biggest need in the modern world,” he explained. “I’m not a dreamer. One billion happy people is not more difficult than a billion users on Facebook or a billion users of a search [engine]. It’s not that difficult.” Through prioritizing happiness and teaching a message of compassion and tolerance, he said he believes the world can become happier. “If we want the world to be better, the only thing we have to do is behave better,” he said. Karen said that this year’s WOHASU was a reminder of how the world is embracing happiness and learning about how to tap into it. “I think the biggest thing people are learning here is to choose happiness,” she said. “You get to decide what mindset you’ll have under any given circumstance. Happiness really is a choice.”
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WinatWork

3 Ways to Win at Work

Most of us were taught early on in our childhoods about the Golden Rule. For anyone who’s forgotten, here’s a quick refresher; the Golden Rule is a guiding principle that suggests you treat people the way you wish to be treated. Dating back to the 1600s, the concept can be explained from the perspectives of psychology, philosophy, business, economics and found in nearly every religion and ethical tradition. But, what if that lesson could be taken one step further? What if instead, we treated others as they wish to be treated? Instead of the Golden Rule, we could call it the Golden-Golden Rule, or Golden Rule 2.0. The goal would be to ensure empathy is at the core of organizational policies and embedded into every interaction. We all believe that lending someone a helping hand is a good thing, but, what if we knew why someone needed our help in the first place? When we use the Golden-Golden Rule, we’re more likely to get to the root of the issue. We meet people where they’re at, emotionally, mentally, physically. Take the example of speaking with a child. We physically get down to their height so we can connect with them on their level. Simply put, when we apply the Golden-Golden Rule, we behave with more empathy. Now here’s a challenge: Can we embrace this practice in the workplace? For some CEOs, it just seems too warm and fuzzy. But, for others (like the most influential companies in the world) investing in warm and fuzzy is driven by cold, hard facts. When Google researchers and data scientists were asked to define what makes a team effective, they launched Project Aristotle, spending two years interviewing Googlers (their employees) and examining more than 250 attributes of 180 active Google teams. Do you think they found that doubling up on Rhodes Scholars and combining them with the fastest developers on the planet would be the key to the most effective teams? I’m sure the talent helped. But, the answer is surprisingly, an emphatic, “Nope!” Essentially, the data team discovered psychological safety was the most important trait of a high-performing team, and what Google researchers refer to as the “underpinning” of all the other dynamics that make up a successful group. Two key attributes of psychological safety specific to Googlers include, “conversational turn-taking” and “high emotional sensitivity.” According to Google’s data, individuals on teams with higher psychological safety are less likely to leave, they’re more likely to harness the power of diverse ideas from their teammates, they bring in more revenue and they’re rated as effective twice as often by executives. The moral of this case study? The Golden-Golden Rule wins at work. If you want to apply this in your workplace, it will require effort, intention and practice. But, it won’t be as hard as you may think. Google already outlined one strategy—provide psychological safety and the ability to take risks, make mistakes and move on. Here are a few more practical applications to apply the Golden-Golden Rule at work. 1. Ask more questions. In our office, we have a giant gratitude wall (really—our application to Guinness World Records for Biggest Gratitude Wall in the World was just approved)! We’ve seen how one simple question can tell us so much about each other. We’ve learned who loves playing guitar and when someone is feeling homesick. There are plenty of notes about bacon and Starbucks but more importantly these posts give us a sense of what is going on with each other. Knowing more about people, and what motivates them, allows us to better understand what they need to thrive. 2. No job is too small. Tony Hsieh, founder and CEO of Zappos, now an Amazon company, has famously redesigned the customer-service experience with what appears to be principles reflected in the Golden-Golden Rule. Every person who joins Zappos must spend part of their first weeks answering customer-service calls. No one is exempt, including Tony himself. He and the chief execs get on the phones annually, mostly during peak times to put themselves into the shoes of the customer and to help them to understand the plight of their frontline workers. 3. Be mindful of work styles. The workforce is rapidly evolving and change can be stressful. Get to know your employees’ communication styles so you can connect with them in the place they are most comfortable. Some people work better when you meet in person while others prefer email or online collaboration tools. Remote workers continue to grow, making web-conferencing tools even more essential. Whenever possible, be flexible. Often, it’s good old-fashioned common sense that prevails. For proof, just look to Google’s big announcement about the findings from Project Aristotle. The headline reads, “After years of intensive analysis, Google found the key to good teamwork is being nice.”
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Healthy Mind, Happy Mind

How to Tackle Stress for Good

If you’re feeling a bit more anxious—or depressed—these days, you aren’talone. Anxiety has become the most common mental disorder in the U.S., affecting roughly 40 million Americans over the age of 18. Depression affects an additional 20 million adults, and new research from the American Psychological Association (APA) shows that the nation’s mental health isdeclining. The APA’s annual Stress in America survey has tracked a gradual increase in stress and anxiety levels since it began gathering data in 2007. But for 2017, it found that while the national stress level is consistent with the previous year’s findings, many people are feeling the effects of that stress more than ever before. Nearly two-thirds of those answering the survey said they wereextremely stressed about the future of our nation in addition to other major stressors like money and work. And that is showing up with side effects such as lost sleep, irritability, anxiety, depression andfatigue. “The uncertainty and unpredictability tied to the futureof our nation is affecting the health and well-being of many Americans in a way that feels unique to this period in recent history,” says Arthur C. Evans Jr., Ph.D., and CEO of the APA. Yet the findings also reveal that we are learning better ways to handle the pressure. From the rising interest in mindfulness and meditation to a growing emphasis on how to find balance using nutrition and physical activity, there are plenty of ways to become better equipped to handle the side effects of stress. Learning how to eat more natural foods or just spending more time in nature doesn’t just feel good in the moment; it has lasting, measurable effects on both physical and mental well-being. Learning to Cope More than half of the people in the APA survey said they deal with stress through exercise or physical activity, and 12 percent use yoga or meditation as an outlet. Nearly half use music to de-stress, and 29 percent rely upon prayer. That’s important, experts note, because learning how to practice positive mental health in an increasingly negative environment can make a tremendous difference in our levels of anxiety and depression. “Negative events attract so much attention, and right now [the evening news] seems very disturbing,” says Tayyab Rashid, Ph.D., associate faculty at the University of Toronto Scarborough and a licensed clinical psychologist. “But at the same time, we have to remember that there are far more people doing acts of kindness that we’re not seeing. Every day, mothers are fixing meals for their children. Mechanics are fixing cars. People are opening doors and doing good things for one another every day. We aren’t seeing the wholepicture.” As humans, our innate negativity bias causes us to react more strongly to negative events and information than to positive. Since our survival as humans once depended on quickly locating the threats around us, that negativity bias isn’t all bad. However, in today’s world, it can create some mental health challenges when it comes to handling the onslaught of negativity doled out by social media and the nightly news, not to mention our day-to-day personal ups anddowns. “No mind is neutral,” Tayyab says. “But the good news for the human race is that the positives are more universal. Positive things have more leverage to bring us together than the negative things have to tear usapart.” Focusing on the Positive That’s where positive psychology enters the picture. Science shows a strong connection between positive psychology and good mental health; it has proven useful in the prevention and treatment of certain mental disorders and, at the very least, can help us navigate a bad day with a better sense of calm and resilience. While mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are better managed with a combination of care that includes therapy and medication, Tayyab says we have become too quick to medicate less serious psychological conditions rather than change the behaviors inflaming them. “By and large, we have become too dependent on drugs,” he says. “Life is about exploring the best that’s within you. Medications can give you the strength to walk and sit, but if you want to become truly agile—that comes from realgrowth.” Creating positive mental health is key to achieving personal well-being, and Tayyab says that requires committing to realchanges. “You cannot be happy on a long-term basis unless you make long-term changes,” he says. “Medications can make you feel less angry or anxious or paranoid, but they cannot provide you with hope and courage and resilience. There are no pills for gratitude.” Learning Happiness The connection between mental well-being and practices such as gratitude, mindfulness and hope go beyond just feeling good; positive practices change the way your brain works. Every thought you have releases chemicals to your brain, and those chemicals have either a positive or negative effect on both your physical and mental state. Learning optimism, gratitude and other practices for developing positive emotions won’t change the world around you, but it can change how you respond to it. When researchers at the University of Pennsylvania conducted a study on learned optimism, which uses positive affirmations to overcome negativity biases, the results were impressive. Of the two groups participating, 32 percent of those in the group that did not practice optimism were suffering from moderate or severe depression at the end of the 18-month study. By comparison, only 22 percent of those who were taught optimism developed depressive symptoms, and the results were similar for anxiety: The group that practiced optimism showed a 7percent rate of anxiety, while the other group had more than double thatrate ofanxiety. The Benefits of Well-Being Implementing practices to improve well-being, whether it’s meditation, mindfulness, gratitude or something else, can improve symptoms of anxiety and depression. But studies also show it isn’t just about feeling better; it’sabout doing better. People who train their brains to think more positively are not just happier, but have stronger immune systems, are more productive, live longer and, let’s face it, are just more fun to be around. Even better, once your brain is trained to think positively, it triggers what Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., identified as an upward spiral toward positive emotions. In other words, as you experience positive emotions, you release a cascade of additional positiveemotions. “Relaxing is better than stress, and hope is better than fear,” Tayyab says. “We all have grudges, but somewhere along the line we can open ourselves up to these sanctuaries of gratitude. And those are the things that bring you to the true essence of life.” Feeding Happiness There is, of course, more than one path to finding greater well-being and it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. However, experts agree that certain habits and practices complement the pursuit of positive emotion and may be instrumental in boosting the lasting effects ofour emotions. For starters, says psychiatrist and author Drew Ramsey,we can look at what we eat. “We don’t tend to associate mental health with food,” he says. “Food has a big impact on brain health because we eat every day, and diet is our largest modifiable risk for everything from depression to dementia.” As the founder of the Brain Food Clinic in New York City, Drew prioritizes food before medication; he also offers an online program, Eat to Beat Depression, that helps people learn about brain nutrition and how the foods they eat affect their mental state. He says that many of the mental health challenges we face today can be managed with dietary changes. “Certain nutrients help the brain stay resilient and be in ‘grow mode.’ Studies constantly show significant risk reduction for depression and dementia; anxiety is the most common diagnosable mental disorder, but there is very little research regardingnutrition.” Erin Tawlks of Nashville, Tennessee, has seen firsthand the role that food can play in battling depression. She began struggling with the winter blues while still in high school, but when her son was born five years ago, she fell into a full-blown depression. “I struggled to get out of bed, and I didn’t want to do anything. I just wantedto take a nap in the afternoons. The depression had really taken over.” Since she’s “never been big on taking medications,” Erin looked for other solutions to combat depression. She began using essential oils recommended for depression and found good results; that started her down a new path. “I could tell a difference in my mood, so I thought, ‘Well, that worked; what else will work?’ I just kept looking for more ways to make myself feelbetter.” Erin, who now coaches others on how to create and maintain a healthy lifestyle, says nutrition, along with exercise and a daily gratitude practice, has become the foundation of her good mentalhealth. “Switching to organic produce made a huge difference, and when I got rid of sugar and gluten, I noticed a big change. It’s not easy, but it can be done. Sugar has been linked to so many health issues,” she says. “If you start realizing that every time you put something in your mouth, you’re either fighting disease or feeding it, you’ll start looking at it differently.” Drew says that treating mental health issues with food carries much less stigma for patients than medication—without the risks or side effects. It also has the added benefit of reducing risk for physical illnesses like heart disease, diabetes and dementia. Eating for brain health is not complicated, he says, adding, “I wish people understood the risk we all face of clinical depression and other mental health issues.” Natural Solutions While changing your thought patterns and diet take more effort than taking a pill, there’s an even simpler path to helping ward off mental illness: nature. According to a medical science known as forest medicine, nature can help ease physical disease as well as mental problems including anxiety, depression and burnout. “Patients with anxiety and depression respond very well to the calming stimuli of nature,” says Clemens G. Arvay, a biologist and author of the books The Biophilia Effect and The Healing Code of Nature. “Anxiety, especially, is connected to the overactive sympathetic nervous system, which is the nerve of the fight or flight response. Many people who suffer from anxiety find release innature.” What’s perhaps more telling are the statistics surrounding the absence of nature; Clemens says that the likelihood of suffering from depression is 20 percent higher among people who live in a city, while the risk for anxiety is almost 40 percent higher. One British study shows that regular walks in a forest were effective for fighting major depression, with the combination of being around a lake and trees showed the most significant improvements. “We are natural beings,” he says. “It’s no wonder that the absences of nature in our lives makes us ill, while contact to nature has a strong health potential. I strongly suggest we rethink our relationship withnature.” Whether it’s a single practice or a combination of lifestyle changes, the best way to discover positive mental health is through a conscious, committed choice. “Today, one out of six people in the U.S. are on some form of antidepressant, and the side effects that can have are staggering,” Erin says. “True health is about mental clarity and cellular health—and that’s something you have to invest in. You have to choose it foryourself.”
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Harry Connick Jr.

Harry Connick Jr. Has Heart and Soul

When Harry Connick Jr. was growing up in New Orleans, his mother would drop him off at school with the same parting words every day: “Be a leader.” “She never explained it to me, and I never asked her what it meant,” Harry says. “But she said it to me all the time. ‘Be a leader. Be a leader.’ I would get out of the car and think she was saying, when they blow the whistle to come in from recess, be the first one in line.” It would be many years, Harry says, before he began to understand that what his mother was saying was, “Do what’s right.” “That might not be the thing that everybody else is doing. I understand that now. It was an incredible lesson to drill into my head at an early age.” A lawyer and later a judge who also owned a record shop with Harry’s father, a New Orleans’ longtime district attorney, Anita Connick exerted an enormous influence on her son though she passed away from ovarian cancer when Harry was just 13 years old. In both little things and big things, Harry says he has tried to follow the example she set. “The big things are staying true to who I am. That means not changing the type of music I play. When pop music was popular, I had lots of opportunities to go down that road. That’s not what I chose to do. I chose to play the music I grew up playing, which was jazz.” He offers an example from his three-year stint as a mentor and judge on American Idol. “It might not have been popular,” he says, “but if there was a 16-year-old girl who was singing lyrics that were inappropriate, I’d feel comfortable asking her, ‘Are you aware of what you’re singing about?’ That took the show in a different direction. Everybody’s partying and having fun and then this stick-in-the-mud is saying, ‘You should know what you’re singing.’ But that’s what I believe, so I’m going to say it. Stuff like that comes up every single day.” His beliefs are on full display in Harry, his daily syndicated entertainment show, which premiered the day after his 49th birthday. Now in its second season, Harry is built around the things that its host and bandleader love: “Music, entertaining people, talking to everyday folks and being inspired by great women. We always wanted to entertain, uplift and inspire. Those were the words that we kept going back to.” The show includes a regular segment that spotlights community leaders—Rachael Steffens, a high school senior who gave up her spot in the band to help a blind musician be a part of the marching procession; Major Christina Hopper, the first African-American female fighter pilot in combat; and Georgie Smith, an interior designer who has created homes for hundreds of foster kids who have aged out of the system. “I’ve spent my life around amazing people who have done fantastic things for their communities. They weren’t necessarily well known for those things, but I certainly thought they deserved to be recognized.” At a time, Harry says, when there’s “an unbelievable amount of divisiveness, negativity and vitriol, I thought, let’s do a show that’s inclusive while celebrating our diversity and the incredible things that we have in common. I know I get tired of turning on the TV and having to switch the channel because there’s so much ugliness, and I think other people do, too.” A Performer on All Stages For all that Harry has in common with his audience and with us, his is a singular career. He started learning the keyboards at age 3; when he was 5 years old he took the stage for the first time, playing the national anthem in front of a couple of hundred people at one of his dad’s campaign stops. “When I finished everyone was clapping,” he said. “I loved the sound of that applause so much that I thought to myself, ‘What do I have to do to get that again?’” Four years later he performed a Beethoven concerto with the New Orleans Symphony Orchestra, and at 10 he recorded his first album with a local jazz band. The singer-composer would go on to sell more than 28 million albums, earn 14 Grammy nominations, winning three, including his first for his work on the soundtrack of When Harry Met Sally. Between composing, recording and touring worldwide, he also branched out into acting. His first leading movie role was opposite Sandra Bullock in the 1998 romance Hope Floats. Two decades later Sandra would be the first guest on his TV show. Harry shared the story of how he learned that he’d landed the co-starring role, after an audition in Texas. He was flying back to Los Angeles with Sandra when she began to unbutton her shirt. At first Harry thought she must be feeling hot, but she continued undoing the buttons of her shirt one by one. Finally, she pulled her shirt apart and written on her stomach were the words, “You got the part.” On TV, he appeared in both dramas—Law & Order: Special Victims Unit—and sitcoms—as Dr. Leo Markus on Will & Grace, where he seemed to offer Grace (Debra Messing) a happily-ever-after ending when they wed in the final season of the original series. Alas, that was not to be. As the reboot of the series revealed, the marriage didn’t last, though, as a knockout final kiss showed, their chemistry did. Endlessly versatile, Harry won two Emmys for concert shows, as well as a Tony Award nomination for his starring role in the Broadway revival of the musical The Pajama Game. Family Commitment to Giving Back If performing is something Harry has done his entire life, so is reaching out to others. “That goes back to my dad,” he says. “We’d be at a grocery store, pulling out of the parking lot and there’d be an older person struggling to put her bags in her car. My dad would stop the car and say, ‘Go help that woman.’ When you’re 10 years old, that’s the last thing you want to do. But there was no arguing with him.” Helping others, he says, is a longtime Connick tradition. “There’s a famous family story from the early ’40s of my dad helping this guy who had molasses in a mule-drawn cart. The cart slid and all the molasses fell on the road. This man was stuck, literally, trying to pick up the pieces of his livelihood. My dad was in a car with some friends, and he said, ‘Stop the car.’ His friends were, ‘Why? We’re not going to help that old man.’ And my dad said, ‘Let me out of the car.’ And that goes back to my parents’ parents. It’s an awareness that when you’re called to action, you have to step up.” When Hurricane Katrina devastated Harry’s beloved hometown in 2005, he answered the call. “Now that I have the ability to reach a lot of people, there was no question that I was going to do everything I could,” he says. He helped organize NBC’s live telethon A Concert for Hurricane Relief and was named honorary chair for Habitat for Humanity’s Operation Home Delivery, a long-term effort to rebuild homes for families left stranded along the Gulf Coast. In collaboration with musician Branford Marsalis, Harry launched Musicians’ Village, a neighborhood of Habitat-built homes that also includes the Ellis Marsalis Center for Music, a performance, education and community venue. At a U.S. Senate hearing, Harry spoke passionately about his commitment. “New Orleans is my essence, my soul, my muse. I will do everything within my power to ease the suffering of my city and ensure she one day recaptures her glory.” The Women in Harry’s Life Today Harry and his wife of 23 years, former model Jill Goodacre, have imparted the importance of serving others to their three daughters, Georgia, 21, Kate, 20, and Charlotte, 15. “We were in Starbucks the other day and there was some woman who had a tray of drinks,” Harry says. “I told Charlotte, get up and walk that woman to her car. And she came back five minutes later and said, ‘Oh, that woman was so nice. We were talking about all kinds of things.’ You have to be taught that things like that are socially appropriate. Now, the last thing I want to do is paint me or my family as saints, because we’re far from that. But these kinds of things are important and we continually work on them.” Recently, Harry and Jill went public, in both the pages of People and on Harry, about a family crisis: Jill’s diagnosis with breast cancer in October 2012. Having passed the five-year milestone with no recurrence, they were ready to share their experience in the hopes of possibly helping other women by spotlighting the benefit of additional screening. In Jill’s case, an annual mammogram came back clear, but because she has dense breasts, a sonogram was recommended. And it was that test that detected she had stage I invasive ductal carcinoma. Treatment was a lumpectomy followed by radiation. “To get the all-clear after five years was just an incredible relief to us,” Harry says. “Jill is the backbone of our family. If she’s hurting or she’s in trouble, then we all are.” So, what’s the biggest challenge Harry is facing now? “Oh, man,” he says, pausing for a moment before continuing. “I don’t know whether this is my ego driving me, but I want to be a better dad, a better husband and a better entertainer, all of the things I do. That requires a lot of humility, a lot of patience and a lot of listening. And for a person who likes to be the center of attention, sometimes those things can be challenging. But it’s not all about me all the time, and there’s a lot I can learn from the incredible women in my life. It’s a good challenge and one that I enjoy.” Harry on Happiness Be consistent, he says, in hitting the right notes day in and day out. Composer, crooner, TV host, actor, humanitarian, husband, father of three. Harry Connick is way too busy to teach a course in happiness, but he could. “I think it’s the little things you do every day without fail,” Harry says, “that provide the foundation upon which your happiness can be built.” I try to eat well. That’s directly in line with my mood. I’m a real sugar guy, but if I eat a lot of sugar, that’s going to negatively impact everything else. So, I try to be smart about my food choices. Breakfast, today, for example, was scrambled egg whites and Irish oatmeal. I always work out, every single day. I have a streak going where I haven’t missed a day in 7 ½ years. Even when I’ve had a torn Achilles tendon or the flu, I always do something. Some days it’s not much. I’ve been out at a business dinner where I haven’t had a chance to exercise all day and I’ll do calf raises under the table for a half hour. The physical benefits of working out are great, but the mental discipline of maintaining a routine is what helps keep me grounded. I focus on details and fundamentals. For example, I don’t have to write the music for my show, but I do. It takes a lot of time to orchestrate and arrange music for a 10-piece band. That means every note for every instrument and how do they play the note: do they hold it long or short? Do they play it loud or soft? The time I put into that and the attention to details that has to be paid is something that I think informs other parts of my life. Some people might equate it to prayer. You get into a zone. A bomb could go off and you’d never notice it. I think it’s important to find the thing in life that will bring you that.
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Vanna White

Positive Spin on Life

Vanna White pinches herself every day as the famous letter turner on the iconic TV game show Wheel of Fortune. “When I come to work, it’s a happy place. You turn your TV on and there is all this negative stuff going on, but you put our show on and it’s fun and uplifting,” she says, noting that she and host Pat Sajak have an absolute blast on set. “When you wake up in the morning excited about going to work, it feels great,” adds the star, who encourages everyone to find jobs theylove. How do you make others happy? I try to do some act of kindness every day. It might be as simple as when you are in the grocery line and somebody has three things, and you say, “Please go in front of me.” Or when I’m driving, especially in Los Angeles, which is known for its rude drivers, I will stop to let someone pull in front of me. I try to do things for other people that I would love to have done forme. What is the kindest act that someone has done for you? People are just so nice when they come up for an autograph or to say hello. We have the Make-A-Wish Foundation folks come to our show to fulfill their dreams of standing by the puzzle board and taking a picture with their names on it. There was one little girl who gave me a picture of herself sitting in a wheelchair on set. She was so thrilled to be there. It gave me such joy to give her joy. That’s why I do what I do. What moments on the show make you happy? A gentleman won a brand-new car on the show, and he turned to Pat and said, “I don’t have to take the bus anymore.” That was really touching. Aside from Wheel of Fortune, what do you watch to lift yourmood? I’m a huge fan of Fixer Upper. I put that show on all the time. It’s a nice escape where I don’t have to think about anything. I like the potential they see when they walk into an old house and then renovate the whole thing, and it’s absolutely beautiful. What are you most passionateabout? I’ve crocheted since I was 5 years old. My grandmother taught me. I even have my own line of yarn and donate half of my proceeds to St. Jude. I like to crochet baby blankets for gifts, and I constantly have a project going. I have one at work, in my car and by my bed. When is the last time you laughed out loud? Yesterday, because Pat is so funny. He’s always making little comments and makes me laugh every single day I’m with him! That’s a good relationship. We have been together 35 years on camera and have never had one argument. Where is your happy place? Being in nature or under an umbrella by the ocean. I have a balcony off my bedroom and I live in the hills, so I sit outside in the mornings and have my coffee and listen to the birds sing. I just love being Zen because life is so busy.
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Hope Is the Thing With Feathers

3 Ways to Nurture Your Sense of Hope

A long time ago, I memorized this part of the poem “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers” by Emily Dickinson: “Hope” is the thing with feathers— That perches in the soul— And sings the tune without the words— And never stops—at all. I’ve often used it to provide comfort to friends and family in times of grief, to clients in times of personal suffering and to people in psychiatric institutions. It is a deep and meaningful perspective on what hope offers us. We all have that “thing with feathers” within us. We all have the capacity to feel hope, to think positively in tough times and to be future-minded in setting goals. Research shows that our strength of hope is made up of two important elements—think of these as the will and the way. The will is our motivation and our belief we can reach a goal. The way is our ability to come up with options to get that goal (e.g., recovering from a problem, accomplishing a task or life goal or making a challenging decision). Of the 24 character strengths, it is uncommon to have the strength of hope among our top 10 strengths. And, in study after study, it is one of two strengths that is most aligned with happiness. The good news is we can build up hope and reap its many benefits—physical, mental and social. Here are some tips from the science of positive psychology to help you start flexing your hope muscle! Visualize your best possible self one year from now. This might be your best self in a relationship, at work, in your community or just everyday life. Consider how to use your highest character strengths to reach your best possible self. Set a goal you would like to accomplish. Boost your hopeful thinking by writing down at least three ways to reach your goal, as well as the many reasons why you can reach it. Journal about one good event and one bad event in your life each week. Consider why the good events will last and how they relate to the actions you take. Then consider why the bad events will pass, why they are limited in their effect and why you aren’t completely to blame.
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Boulder, Colorado

The Happiest City in America

Ask some of the happiest people in Boulder, Colorado, why the city is so full of joy and their answers might surprise you. For one thing, despite the idyllic postcards, the city isn’t picture perfect. Boulder residents acknowledge its challenges, from a lack of diversity to high housing prices. But each of them has found the path to personal contentment, and it seems their closest friends and neighbors have, too. “It’s a good place to get happy,” says Ralph Noistering, a property owner and manager. “There are optimistic people to bearound.” Experts agree. National Geographic, Gallup and author Dan Buettner recently named Boulder the happiest city in America, citing its natural beauty, adventurous spirit and friendly people. Here’s what the locals have to say on why Boulder is bursting with bliss: Free to be you and me—together A sense of belonging is the single most important factor to contentment, according to Isabella Arendt, analyst at Denmark’s The Happiness Research Institute. “What makes us happy is our friends and family and loved ones,” Isabella says. “It doesn’t matter what you gather around, as long as yougather.” The social networking site Meetup has hundreds of Boulder-area groups, for everything from knitting to stand-up comedy. Boulder’s Craigslist is also full of options for connecting withpeople. And nothing is too out there. In part because of its hippie roots, Boulder has a reputation for attracting the offbeat. Chances are, whatever you’re into, someone has been into something even morebizarre. “You don’t have to feel uncomfortable here,” says Alexander Halpern, an attorney and president of the city’s Buddhist credit union. “We like weird.” Healing waters Perhaps because of the city’s large constituency of Buddhists—including Buddhist university Naropa—Boulder has become a haven of healing. Therapists, yoga teachers and reiki practitioners are plentiful; concepts like self-care are well trodden in casual conversation. There are a lot of people in Boulder working to exorcise their demons, said Kim Thomas, a local therapist at the Boulder Psychotherapy Institute. While that might negatively affect their present mood—“It’s hard and it’s painful work,” she said—the end result is a more peaceful existence. Body movin’ Boulderites are as good at caring for their bodies as they are their minds. The high altitude and challenging terrain draw athletes of all stripes, and physical activity is practiced as both a daily ritual and a leisure activity. Three hundred days of sunshine a year doesn’t hurteither. “It’s so easy to go climbing or trail running,” says Laura Hockenbury, a sales associate at Boulder REI who gave a TED talk about the benefits of being kind to retail workers. Her customers and co-workers frequently ask her how she can be so happy. “Five minutes and you’re in the mountains.” Trickle-down happiness What begs mention in the same breath as Boulder’s natural landscapes are the efforts to preserve access to them. Trails for biking and hiking are plentiful; there are green spaces around nearly every corner. They exist in no small part because of the citizens’ strong will to fund projects for the public good. Though not everybody enjoys Boulder’s $70,000 median income, anyone can enjoy a stroll by Boulder Creek or an exhibit at the Dairy Arts Center, which taxpayers have helped fund for many years. People are willing to put in their time, too: Residents of Boulder are twice as likely to volunteer than the average American, according to the Boulder County Trends report. “If you have a culture of generosity—whether it’s through the state or through private philanthropists—it has a positive effect on everybody’s happiness,” Isabella says. “Generosity is something that makes usevenhappier.” Five ways you can bring a bit of Boulder into your life Be polite. Boulderites love to chat up their cashiers, and traffic is notably mellow. Take time to say “hi” or let a fellow motorist cut in. Exercise. “Move a little every day,” says The Happiness Research Institute’s Isabella Arendt. Bonus points for replacing your car commute with walking or biking, which is proven to boost joy. Strolling to lunch, coffee or for a business meeting works, too. Establish a routine. Alex Halpern, a Tibetan Buddhist, shares a common mantra: The product of discipline is joy. Local property manager Ralph Noistering applies this to his social life as well. He has standing weekly dates with his best friend and his daughter, making those relationships a priority. Give back. Donating time or money creates double happiness, Isabella says: Once for the person giving, and once for thepeople on the receiving end. Do what you love. Even if it’s only one thing, find a way. Kim Thomas never misses a season of adaptive skiing, something she looks forward to allyear.
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Coping skills for teens

6 Tools to Help Children and Teens Develop Coping Skills

Imagine your mind uncluttered, happy and free, loving whatever you are doing to the point that you lose track of time, limitations and stressors. Psychologists refer to this frame of mind as flow. Many scientists believe that children operate in a naturally flowing mindset up to about age 5. However, you can regain your mental flow at any age and teach your children to nurture (and keep) theirs! This helps them develop coping skills that will empower them for life, increasing the “ups,” decreasing the “downs” and making joy a part of every day. I have spent much of my career helping people find ways to cope and operate at the top of their games. I’ve found that much of coping has to do with how you manage your mental and physical energy. What you are looking for is balance. You don’t want to be too activated or you’ll feel jumpy; too placid and you won’t have enough oomph to perform and feel your best. Your mind flows when sparked by high-quality energy and personal motivation. The two go hand-in-hand. When they do, you feel “lit.” Encourage Positivity Positive energy attracts positive action. Helping your child grow a happy mind begins with being open to the positive energies in life, and there’s no better way to start than to make yourself a model. Life is full of beauty, love and excitement. We can capture a burst of natural beauty wherever we are and download its good energy. For example, if you and your child are out on a walk or in the middle of any outdoor activity, talk about what environmental details bring you pleasure. Refer to specifics. After, ask him: What do you find exciting? What sights, sounds or scents make you feel good? It’s important for children to see life as good and to be able to identify examples of life’s magnificence and joy around them. They don’t have to be blockbuster examples—a tiny flower, glistening ocean wave or a single, sparkling star on a full-moon night. Our minds love images. They sweeten your thoughts and keep your coping resources charged, even when you’ve been treading in rough waters. Children can learn that uplifting, peaceful and joyful energies are everywhere. All they have to do to shift their attention—open their senses—and feel the energy. Self-Awareness Self refers to who you are, what you feel on the inside. As parents, we can help our children become more aware of who they are and to discover their unique qualities. “I love to dance,” says one 13-year-old who has danced since she was age 2. “When I dance, I dance with my heart. I can’t ever imagine myself not dancing.” Her 11-year-old sister plays the piano. She says, “Playing piano makes me happy,” but adds, “You don’t have to be Shakespeare to love writing, and you don’t have to be Mozart to be happy playing music.” Self-awareness is about being attentive to who you have been in the past, who you are now and who you want to be in the future. Ask your child how their most self-connected activities fit into that sequence. For example, did you enjoy music before playing the piano? How does music affect other things you do? By doing this, you are helping them find intrinsic reward for their actions and not rely on or become co-dependent on someone else’s judgments of what should or shouldn’t feel good to them. You are helping them understand it is possible to sync internal and external world activities that mean a lot to them. The more they do this, the more rewarding their life will feel, the more motivated they will become and the easier it will be to enter and sustain a flowing, happy mind. Tools to Get Started 1. Incorporate a morning activity that launches you into a flowing mindset. Play a tune on your favorite instrument, sing, dance, take a walk in nature. Flow transfers into other activities. 2. Balance your energy before and after daily activities. Pick two songs from your favorite tunes, one that activates you and another that calms. Put them on your phone or other device. Decide what kind of energy you need to feel (activating or calming) for balance in the morning before you leave home, at lunchtime and again when you get home. Then just hit “play.” 3. Organize the night before. You’ll wake up happier you did. Include something nice to look forward to in the morning such as a colorful article of clothing or a fun, new morning activity. 4. Give yourself permission to keep your mind flowing. Lessen daily pressures by telling yourself you can think about non-urgent recurring concerns or conflicts “later.” You can pick the time or day. 5. Get a good night’s sleep. Make it a habit to turn lights off at the same time each night. You need sleep for higher-level thinking and to keep your mind flowing. 6. Each day, think of something nice to do for someone. Plan who you will help, compliment or surprise, then do it!
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