You searched for self | Page 43 of 130

Ask Stacy: My Daughter-in-Law Resents My Lemon Zest Advice

Dear Stacy, I have one son who is the love of my life. I have poured my heart and soul into his upbringing and have sacrificed many personal items along the way. He is married now and his wife does not like me so she limits our visits. She gets angry with me when I give them suggestions or return a gift that she has given me. My husband suggested that I mention to you that my suggestions are about things that I am an expert at. For example, I will tell them the place they chose to stay on vacation is not good and recommend a better place to stay, or I will suggest she add something like lemon zest to her lemon cake because it adds texture, and I have been baking lemon cake since before she was born. How might I help her understand that I am simply trying to make their lives better? Diane Dear Diane, You sound like a caring mother who values her relationship with her son and his wife. It is always a challenge as a parent to strike a balance between intervening and giving advice and holding back and letting your adult children learn and experience for themselves. It sounds to me like your son’s wife is struggling with your input, and it’s affecting your relationship. While I believe that you mean well, it is never worth harming a relationship over advice on what should go into a lemon cake or where a person should stay on vacation. So when it comes to your motherly suggestions, I would advise you to see if keeping those to yourself improves your relationship with them. You don’t elaborate about returning the gifts that she has given you, but if she is aware of you returning things she’s chosen, it is probably hurting her feelings and contributing to the distance. I would recommend that you find a way to appreciate whatever it is that she gives you, whether you like it or not. Lastly, should you confirm that you have hurt either of their feelings (intentional or not), apologize so that you, your son and his wife can have a happier relationship.

Cheerful businesswoman standing in office environment. Young female executive standing and looking at camera.

work

3 Ways You Can Work Like an Entrepreneur

If you aren’t familiar with entrepreneurs, you might assume that they lead the lonely life: You have the image of them toiling in a garage (Hewlett and Packard, Steve Jobs and Wozniack) or going it alone to keep a struggling business in the black. If that’s what you believe, have I got news for you: When entrepreneurs are “doing their thing” they are so driven (in a healthy way), so focused (as in the precursor to flow) and riding cloud nine. Entrepreneurs awake each day yearning to get to work. Often, they don’t stop working until someone prompts them to take a break so they can have a meal. The good news is even if you’re not an entrepreneur, you can be entrepreneurial. The ABCs of doing so are described below: Make It Better The entrepreneur has no need to invent anything at all to be happy! One of the most respected scholars in the field of entrepreneurship, Harvard economist Joseph Schumpeter, said that entrepreneurs engage in “creative destruction”—replacing old ways of doing things with new and improved methodologies. If you have “a better idea” regarding how something is done, you have most of what it takes to be entrepreneurial. All you must do is improve upon the status quo in a particular business arena or market. Your “better idea” doesn’t even need to be terribly novel. Consider how Amazon handles returns: If you ask for a refund on an item and it is within a reasonable period of time, a few keystrokes on your computer gets the job done. You do have to ship the item, but contrast returns to Mr. Bezos’ shop with most other vendors. Part of his genius is realizing that standing in line to return an item that’s wrong adds insult to injury. Yes, Amazon is much more that easy returns, but that alone is a game-changing idea. Passion Project You must be impassioned to be entrepreneurial and make yourself happy at work. In fact, you must see no impediments at all to actualizing your dream. The worst thing that can happen to an adult is to lose a child, particularly to a murderer. It happened to the woman who founded MADD (Mother’s Against Drunk Driving) and the man who founded America’s Most Wanted. Instead of seeking revenge for their losses, these people converted their rage into pro-social endeavors: MADD, to “get” all drunk drivers off the road, and America’s Most Wanted to bring all criminals to justice. The entrepreneurs behind these endeavors never flagged in the work it took to develop them. You needn’t suffer a major tragedy to get angry and “get them” in a pro-social manner. Does homelessness enrage you? Fight to help build it in a manner akin to Habitat for Humanity. Take any societal “wrong” and solve it creatively, and you’re guaranteed passion and entrepreneurial energy for life. Avoid the Burn Why is anger that is not converted into entrepreneurial energy the No. 1 predictor of job burnout? Burnout is born of Sisyphean work—rolling a rock up a hill only to have it roll down again, over and over, for eternity. Or, “the same old, same old.” If you feel that this sort of work is wasting your mind—your potential to do creative things—how can you feel anything but anger? The problem is, virtually all of us must work to pay bills, so it’s not guaranteed that we can march into a boss’s office and scream, “Take this job and shove it.” If you realize that you are angry but need to work, be entrepreneurial on the job. Take the worst aspect of your job or your company and improve upon it. The paradox of adding entrepreneurial work to your life is that it is energizing! It gives you a “runner’s high” because the feeling of doing something good—what psychologists call “self-efficacy”—taps into all the reward centers of your brain and spews “mood elevating” chemicals into your body.

relationships

Adopt a New Best Friend This Month

Having a dog as a friend can be a fun and meaningful way to add more happiness in life. According to the journal Scientific Reports, having a dog around can reduce our risk of cardiovascular disease by keeping us company in times of loneliness and nudging us to be more active. Jeff Franklin, one of the world’s leading dog trainers and subject of the new book Franklin: The Man Behind the United States Commando Dogs by Matthew Duffy, says dogs can be the “most nonjudgmental, loving and loyal creatures on the planet. We all want more of those qualities in our lives.” For dogs, being a member of a loving home keeps their tails wagging. Unfortunately, millions of good dogs are living in shelters waiting for that forever home. Jeff explains that many dogs end up in shelters because people underestimate the responsibility of being a dog owner. “Our shelters would become fairly empty if dog owners realized the amount of time it takes to work with a new dog to integrate them into their new ‘human’ type of life and requirements,” he says. “We have worked with shelters and their dogs for over 20 years and the number one reason for dogs being there is because they simply do not have the life skills they need to be the assets they are capable of being in our lives, such as house breaking, not pulling on the leash, not jumping, not barking, destructive chewing, etc.” Every October, the ASPCA celebrates Adopt a Shelter Dog Month, to raise awareness about the importance of adopting a shelter dog. If you are thinking about adding a new four-legged friend to your household, Jeff offers his tips for finding the right pet for you. What should we look for in a shelter dog? The best thing to do is to look for a dog that generally fits into your lifestyle. If you are picking a shelter dog because they are cute, or sad, or you feel sorry for them, it may not be the correct fit. If you’re busy and social, pick a dog that likes that as well. If you’re more of a homebody that prefers to stay indoors, then pick the hangout kind of dog. There are many personalities of great dogs that need homes of all types. What are the benefits of caring for/adopting a senior dog? I believe this is a great unselfish act to do. Sure, we all go to shelters and run straight for the adorable puppies, because baby animals leave an impression on us. For me, I have given a home to several senior dogs and the experience was incredibly rewarding on multiple levels. Of course, the down side is that they were only with me a few years, but having the pleasure to give them a great home environment for their last years was priceless…not to mention so much easier than a feisty puppy. What is a training tip you can share with us? Teach your dogs to behave, have good manners and life skills. Commands (sit, down, stay) are good, but overrated compared to just having a well-behaved canine friend. Dogs that behave well usually spend a substantial amount more time with their owners on a regular basis—not to mention the fact that these dogs do not usually end up in shelters. Make your dog an asset by great training at the beginning of your relationship together and you will always have a faithful companion to care for and spend time with. Where did your ability to communicate with dogs come from? It sounds cliché, but it is just a natural gift. I can teach people how to work with animals, but truly reading and communicating is a naturally given trait that can be enhanced with experience. I’ve been lucky to spend most of my life working with dogs and this has given me invaluable insight into how they think and behave. What’s most satisfying to you about your work with dogs? I am most satisfied when I work with a canine family or K9 team and the results are a happy dog and happy handlers that perform well at whatever their desired task is—whether it be a family pet, a service dog or a working dog.

Businessman in classic suit is touching his temples while concentrating

Practice

Concentration is Meditation

When we are grounded in awareness of breathing, we’re establishing a base for a single-pointed concentration that is, itself, meditation. Mindful concentration frees us from playing out mere concepts about our life, so we can live life fully as it is here and now. We’re also reminded that machines multitask well, but people don’t. We read while we eat (double the consumption). But each act involves separate bodily systems. Jammed together, neither reading nor eating gets done efficiently. Even if we’re only eating, we rarely chew a single mouthful. Instead we’re forking in the next bite before we’ve even swallowed the first. One-pointed concentration means that if we’re eating an orange, we do so one slice at a time. Communing with the whole universe in the orange, slice by slice. So why not treat our breathing (and everything else) the same way? Concentration, in and of itself, can awaken us. Given prolonged attention to breath, a shift in our psychic base can occur. Everything’s no longer all about me: my likes, my dislikes, my possessions, my résumé. We can leave that stark, simplistic, abstract, fantasy realm, always dominated by our desires—and aversions, which are only the flipside of the same self-absorption—to discover reality, rich in nuance, subtlety, texture, ever-changing like music. This shift in awareness can be a gradual awakening, over time, but you might mark how it can happen spontaneously in the space of just a smile…a pause…a breath. And the more we enjoy this fundamental shift of attention, the more readily we might choose it.

Lifestyle

9 Books for a Happy Home

What does it take to have a happy home? It’s the people who live there. You could have a $3 million estate or a tiny house, but the people inside will have the greatest contagious effect on the energy, mood and feeling of the place. We put together the nine best books to create a happy home. Happy Home: Everyday Magic for a Colorful Life by Charlotte Hedeman Gueniau What if you could give your home a happiness makeover? Happy Home: Everyday Magic for a Colorful Life will make your house come alive with color and playful accessories. Do-it-yourself projects and contemporary designs transform rooms with bright colors, cheerful patterns and interesting textures inspired by designer Charlotte Hedeman Gueniau and her home furnishings company Rice. Add some humor to your décor and deploy her ideas, including vibrant throws and cushions, storage ideas to hide clutter, hand-painted furniture and decorative motifs for walls and other surfaces. Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be by Rachel Hollis What if the stories you tell yourself are derailing your happiness? If you think other people have life all figured out and you are lagging behind, this book can snap you awake. Rachel Hollis, founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com reveals 20 lies and misconceptions that can hold us back. With vulnerability, Rachel shares her personal story to show how happiness is a choice you can make each day—regardless of where you are on your journey. Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up by Marie Kondo You’ve likely read or heard of Marie Kondo from her international best-seller, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, that inspired millions of people to get organized and surround themselves only with items they truly love. In her latest book, Spark Joy, she illustrates her popular KonMarj method of organization. Use her advice to organize kitchen tools, cleaning supplies, hobby goods and digital photos. When’s the last time you asked yourself if your items are propelling you forward or holding you back? Experience the euphoria and mental freedom that comes from Marie’s magical decluttering advice. The Empowered Mama: How to Reclaim Your Time and Yourself While Raising a Happy, Healthy Family by Lisa Druxman “There isn’t enough time in the day.” If you’ve ever said this sentence (or felt it!) then this book is for you. The old adage that if mama isn’t happy no one is—is so true. Use the tools in The Empowered Mama to learn how to recharge your body and mind when the demands of motherhood, your professional life and your home life are taking all of your time. Maximize your time by focusing on what you have to accomplish most and use her many tips to get your life in order. Rediscover how to feel like an empowered mother for your own well-being. When moms are happy, the home will be full of happy energy, too. Homebody: A Guide to Creating Spaces You Never Want to Leave by Joanne Gaines Joanna Gaines, famous designer and co-star of HGTV’s Fixer Upper with her husband, Chip Gaines, shows you how to create a home that reflects your personality and becomes a place you never want to leave. In Homebody: A Guide to Creating Spaces You Never Want to Leave, learn how to know your design style by assessing your likes and dislikes and going with your instincts. Homebody is your go-to manual to create a beautiful home and spaces customized to your personal tastes. Her step-by-step guide will help you redo your house room by room. Happier Now: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Embrace Everyday Moments (Even the Difficult Ones) by Nataly Kogan When you step inside your home, you know it holds memories both good and bad. What if you began looking at your life differently and looked at every moment of your life as truly living—even the painful moments? Author Nataly Kogan immigrated to the United States from Russia and has a unique perspective and draws from science, Eastern traditions and her experience as a refugee on how to be happier by boosting your resilience and building up your emotional immune system. Stop the “I’ll be happy when” and change your life to “I’m happy now because …” Embrace difficult times with more compassion and stability. Enjoy life inside your home no matter what is going on in your life at the moment. Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs by Marc Chernoff Use the power of your daily rituals, mindfulness practices, and self-care routines to overcome whatever life throws your way and be your best self. Personal development experts Marc and Angel Chernoff wrote the book they needed most. Elevate your sense of purpose at home and live with a greater sense of self-worth. For example, learn the art of mindful reframing to get in a better mental state. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, reframe how you view your life and begin to see your life as rich and interesting. You also will learn how to work on your relationship skills to foster mutual respect, genuine affection and lifelong trust. Simplify: 7 Guiding Principles to Help Anyone Declutter Their Home and Life by Joshua Becker What if you reduced the possessions you own to inspire living? Simplify is a celebration of minimalism. Find out how to live more by owning less from someone who made the leap. Author Joshua Becker and his family minimized possessions, decluttered their home and simplified their lives. His experience led to a profound sense of freedom and inspired him to share his story with others. “We were never meant to live life accumulating stuff. We were meant to live simply enjoying the experiences of life, the people of life and the journey of life—not the things of life,” he writes. Get It Together! An Interior Designer's Guide to Creating Your Best Life by Orlando Soria Designer Orlando Soria started out on HGTV and his popularity grew with his well-known design and lifestyle blog, Hommemaker. With his signature blunt and funny style, Get It Together! walks you through challenges such as how to plan a dinner party when you’re broke, how to hang art like you own a gallery, or prepare your home for an unwanted guest. Laugh out loud with his take on topics such as "How to Make Non-Garbagey Flower Arrangements.” He offers design tips for men, how to make your own coffee table and decorate a kid’s room. Solve home entertaining dilemmas, avoid newbie design mistakes and host guests like a pro. With humor, he shows anyone how to get it together on the home front.

Lifestyle

Find the Good: Keep the Recharge Button at the Ready

As we ride the final wave of summer into early fall, join me in appreciating the grit and joie de vivre of San Diego’s Jojo, a surfing corgi who recovered from a brutal, nearly fatal dog attack through water therapy and taking up surfing with his person, Josephine Zosa. Jojo has his own Instagram account @supercorgi_jojo with more than 82,000 followers and growing. He’s entered—and even won—surf competitions and gives back by volunteering as a therapy dog for the military and in hospitals and nursing homes. Jojo is one more example of how trauma can bring out our greatest strengths. It’s Time to Put You on the To-Do List So what do you do when the day’s challenges start to get you down? (Other than watching corgi videos, that is?) At my house, we’re all coming off simpler summer schedules, sending the kids back to school and trying to get everyone charged up for the action-packed fall routine. It’s the ideal time for a reminder to take care of ourselves as the calendar fills up with meetings; holiday planning; soccer and basketball practice or Scouts meetings for the kids. In the morning rush it may seem easier to skip that 3-mile run to get everything done on time, but don’t forget, taking care of yourself not only brings good things to you but also to the rest of your family. I’m not perfect at taking care of myself, either. Yet there is a certain element of prioritizing—building into your schedule—the things that make your life worthwhile, like exercising regularly, not always eating on the go and savoring moments of quiet where you can find them. Getting the kids to bed on time can help with that last one. But there are bigger things you can plan for, too. We just got back from a huge vacation; we went on a cruise to Alaska for a week. It was important to do that because for me, if I don’t check out enough, it’s really hard to maintain that intensity that’s required to do my regular job the rest of the year. To work, to be involved in my community, to get my kids from place to place, I need that recharge button. And I find so much more good in recognizing that! For one, my kids saw me in a more relaxed mode that opened up more opportunities to connect and just have fun. We were still active, running, biking and sightseeing, but it was important that I was engaged with them and not on my phone or computer. I think most people overlook the good in taking a break. The benefit is in hitting the reset button so I can give work my all when I get back. It helps me look at the “must do’s” in a much more positive light, because I took the time to take care of myself. Because I’m never going to get to the bottom of my to-do list…I promise. How many times have you heard “work hard, play hard?” But who really does?…I don’t see that many people actually incorporate it. You have to make play as much of a priority as the work. The Boss Says…Take Your Vacation! There are so many people who leave their vacation days unused. In my own company as CEO, I stand up and say, “Schedule your vacation; I’ve already scheduled mine,” and I mean it. People kind of look at me like, “What’s the catch?” This Travel+Leisure article cites an Allianz Travel Insurance study that reports 51 percent of the population—or about 129 million people—say they’ve gone a full year without taking a vacation. And the number of people who said they were confident they would take a vacation within the year—48 percent—is at the lowest rate it’s been since 2010. So take the time, take a vacation. More importantly, those weeks you’re not on vacation? Take time to take care of yourself because if you don’t, you’re no good for anybody. The good that you’ll bring to the world is worth it. Be a Happy Activist Our September #HappyAct is setting a positive goal for yourself. Try running for 30 minutes straight, cooking more meals at home, taking a mental health day or anything that builds you up to better handle life’s challenges. A sense of accomplishment will boost your joy, connection with others and overall well-being. On the #HappyAct front, this was one of my favorite recent kindhearted acts: A Louisiana grocery store clerk, Jordan Taylor, let autistic teen Jack Ryan help him stock a cooler with orange juice for more than half an hour after Jack showed an interest in helping. The story gets even better with a GoFundMe campaign to help Jordan raise money for college. Keep looking for the good, and you’ll find it!

Man in business suit looking through telescope

Practice

3 Ways to Gain Perspective

Think of a person in your life who you consider to be wise. Now, imagine talking with that person about a problem you are having. Go ahead, think of a real problem. Tell the wise person about your problem—give him or her the details, the struggles and how you’ve handled it so far. Ask for ideas and advice. Pause and listen for the response. Imagine this as a back-and-forth conversation. Believe it or not, scientists have found that this activity can boost your wisdom. What’s even more stunning is that an imagined conversation with a wise person is equal (in terms of a wisdom boost) to having a real-life conversation with a wise person! Wisdom is found in all of us, not only the sages, gurus, spiritual masters and philosophers. Sure, we learn from the wise actions of Mohandas K. Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela. Yet you have more wisdom, or perspective strength, than you realize. The cliché of “look inward for the answers” happens to be true. But, our wisdom is squashed or covered over by our daily routines, multitasking busyness and smart-phone distractions, not to mention our self-doubt and self-criticism. We don’t realize how much we know that we could apply. All the knowledge we have gathered, the insights we have learned and the life experiences we have shared are just below the surface, waiting for us to tap into and ignite the flame. Ready to boost your strength of perspective or wisdom? If you find yourself getting lost or disturbed by the latest news, such as political double talk and biased blaming and negativism, step away. Take a news fast from your TV and apps. This allows you to escape from the weeds and find solid ground. When you’re ready, slowly return to the news, starting with one source, and observe its effect on you. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed by stress, use your perspective strength to see the big picture. It’s easy for pressures to build up and for stress to take over. Your perspective is an antidote to see both the forest and the trees. If you find yourself in an argument with a loved one, try a science-backed strategy called perspective-taking. Just as you can try on a hat from a rival sports team, try on the viewpoint of your loved one. What is their argument? What’s their point of view? Their thoughts and feelings? Appreciate not just your side, but their side, too. So, pause, take a deep breath and rediscover your inner wisdom!

Self-Care

9 Ways to Improve Your Emotional Regulation Skills

When was the last time you lost your cool? Maybe a tough day at work took you down to your last nerve and your child couldn’t stop whining. If you find yourself raising your voice or saying something snappish when you’re under stress, you’ve come face-to-face with the challenges of emotion regulation. If you have a difficult time exercising restraint when you are angry or frustrated, emotion regulation is a skill you can build up with practice. You’re angry. Picture a fork in the road. Do you take the road of reactionary ranting or do you take the serene one where you carefully choose your response? Recognizing that you always have a choice in how you respond—no matter how you feel—is at the heart of mastering emotion regulation. Responding appropriately is not about acting fake—it’s just keeping it together when you actually feel the opposite. We all deploy these strategies every day—whether we are aware of them or not. Healthy regulation might show up as leaving something unsaid, walking away or choosing a neutral response. A lack of regulation can include road rage, verbal or physical aggression, or to a lesser degree, saying things you regret as soon as they leave your mouth. “Emotion regulation means practicing something known as impulse control,” says Kris Lee, Ed.D., a professor at Northeastern University, behavioral science expert and author of Mentalligence: A New Psychology of Thinking: Learn What it Takes to be More Agile, Mindful and Connected in Today’s World. “When something happens, our brain’s automatic response is to be reactive. When our amygdala, the small part of our brain that regulates fight or flight is set off, we have to avoid taking the bait of our raw emotional reactions that make us want to overreact,” Kris says. “When we buy time, we then have access to the frontal lobes of our brains, where we have access to reasoning, better problem solving and perspective. We never have to take the bait of primitive emotions,” she explains. Put another way, Dr. Kris says we can let the “first take” (the way we initially feel) pass us by and revisit triggers with a second take when we have our wits about us. “Staying cool in the heat of the moment can be a challenge for even the most patient among us,” Kris says. “We all have different triggers that bring us from zero to 60, so knowing in advance what types of things can set us off can help us mentally rehearse and prepare a reaction that isn’t something we might regret later.” For parents, it can be easy to lose your cool. “Think in advance of how to be able to step away and buy time before your words or behavior take on too harsh of a tone,” she suggests. “Have a go-to mantra like ‘it’s going to be OK’ or ‘this too shall pass’ to serve as reminders that your state of frustration won’t last.” You also can replay a past event where you lost your temper and decide on a better way to react next time. “Oftentimes parents get burned out or emotionally overwhelmed, leading us to be more reactive and impulsive,” Kris says. “One of the best strategies to reduce reactivity and promote emotional regulation is engaging in regular, deliberate self-care.” Here are nine ways to improve your emotional regulation skills: Choose your mantra. Decide what you will say to yourself the next time your frustration bubbles up to the surface. Have one or two short mantras ready. Talk with friends. Friends are support systems. A good talk can dissipate stress, make you feel understood and give you a good outlet to vent. “Find your tribe or community where you can share challenges, laughs and strategize on how to solve problems you have in common,” Kris says. Practice self-compassion. How often do you give yourself a soft place to land in your mind? Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself as you would a best friend, and when you are kinder to yourself, you are kinder to others. Exercise and eat nutritiously. Take care of your body and your mind will follow. Write in a journal. Give your thoughts and feelings a safe place to come out. Practice mindfulness meditation. Practice a nonjudgmental stance to things you are confronting. Be a neutral observer to your thoughts instead of labeling them and making rash decisions, Kris recommends. Seek therapy. Ask for help. “Anger is often a sign of underlying anxiety and trouble with the skills of on-the-spot coping,” Kris explains. Speak with a professional to resolve old issues that are triggers. Sleep. Monkey brain goes up when hours of sleep go down. Get adequate sleep—about eight hours a night. The power of a good night’s sleep is underestimated. Build up your emotional repertoire. “Research shows we are capable of building a positive emotional repertoire and redirecting our energies to help us from being stuck in negative emotional states,” Kris explains. Practice positive communication skills. Rehearse desired reactions according to your unique stressors and triggers. “We all have different thresholds for coping and are dealing with different degrees of stressors and seasons of life. We can continually grow and improve our capacity for coping and reacting productively and positively,” she says. Bottom line? “A more well-rested, exercised, nourished and emotionally connected person will have a greater sense of resilience and their brain will be less apt to be impulsively driven,” Kris says.

Illustration with book and quote bubbles

Well-Being

15 Happy Quotes to Get You Through Today

What does real happiness look like and how do we get there? Explore science-based answers and tools in the book, Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy by Deborah K. Heisz and the editors of Live Happy magazine. It includes practical tips, wisdom and stories of everyday happiness. Enjoy the following quotes from the book to get you through today. “Every job is so much bigger than the task you do; remembering that, every day, changes the way you approach it.” —Mary Miller, Jancoa CEO Sometimes there are things in life you just have to own and move forward from. They don’t have to define or own you; they’re just a small part of you. Once you realize that, you can look forward to the possibilities of a new day.” —Hoda Kotb “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” —Lao Tzu “Love of spouse can easily be replaced by love of work. We love the work we do, and it can be all-consuming, so we have to make sure that we take time for each other.” —Shawn Achor As happiness grows, person by person, so does the hope for joy—and peace—in the world.” —Jeff Olson, Live Happy founder “Relationships matter because people don’t show up to work because they have to—but because they want to be with their friends, their tribe. And they matter because people tend to go above and beyond when they share mutual respect and trust.” —Jenn Lim “People who have a sense of meaning in life also report feeling more happy, more satisfied with their lives, less depressed and anxious, and more satisfied with their jobs.” —Michael Steger, Ph.D. “The goal is to put something in the world that feels meaningful.” —Alastair Moock “I feel blessed that learning about the emerging work of brilliant positive psychologists is part of my daily work—and that I’m able to fulfill a key part of my life’s purpose by sharing exciting research and uplifting stories with you.” —Deborah K. Heisz, Live Happy CEO, co-founder and editorial director Creating is the act of paying attention to our experiences and connecting the dots, so we can learn more about ourselves and the world around us.” —Brené Brown, Ph.D. “Gratitude is many things to many people. It is wondering; it is appreciation; it is looking at the bright side of a setback; it is fathoming abundance; it is thanking someone in your life; it is thanking God; it is ‘counting blessings.’” —Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D. “You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” —Henry David Thoreau “You’d think mindfulness would be so easy—just hang out with yourself all day. But it’s the great challenge of our lives, and everything else flows from it.” —Gretchen Rubin There’s a version of happiness that is a oneness with what is. It’s a quality of peace. If our egos are going to chase anything, that would be the lovely thing to chase.” —Alanis Morissette “You know, all that really matters is that the people you love are happy and healthy. Everything else is just sprinkles on the sundae.” —Paul Walker

Well-Being

Get Mentally Fit With Grit

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! On the 20th of each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we'll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! September’s theme is resilience. The ability to bounce back after a setback through grit and determination can help us achieve our goals. This sense of accomplishment can increase joy, connection and well-being. It’s important to understand the “why” of goal setting for it to be successful, says strategist Jan Stanley. “The thing that encourages us to set goals is that we see some gap in our lives,” Jan says. The first key is making sure your goals and values align and then to make step-by-step implementation of that goal part of your daily routine. Following that advice, our September 20 Happy Act is to set a positive goal for yourself, whether it’s preparing for a 5K race or half-marathon, taking on a new challenge at work or finishing that house project that’s been dragging on for months. Meet our Happy Activist of the month, Chris Libby, Live Happy’s magazine and digital editor. “Realizing that the power to achieve is within my control is empowering, something I hope you will realize as well as you set out on your own goal-setting journey,” Chris says. 3 Habits to Boost Resilience According to authors Michaela Haas (Bouncing Forward: Transforming Bad Breaks into Breakthroughs) and Jim Rendon (Upside: The New Science of Post-Traumatic Growth), these three daily habits can help you cultivate courage and resilience in the face of adversity. Meditate Spend 12 minutes every morning and every eveningmeditating. Meditation, Michaela says, trains us in regulating stress and calming fear, the very skills we need to confront and recover from adversity. Appreciate Cultivate apractice of gratitudeand appreciation. Every day, write down three things you are grateful for; jot down the first three things that come to mind. If your default position is to focus on the gifts in your life, you’ll find it easier to keep your spirits uplifted and move on to what needs to be done. Connect Research shows thatconnection with other peopleis a key predictor of growth after a traumatic event, Jim says. Even online communities help trauma survivors of all kinds feel more optimistic, confident and empowered. Additional Resources: Angela Duckworth GoodThink Tom Rath Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP Greater Good Science Center Plasticity Labs

Ask Stacy: My Daughter-in-Law Resents My Lemon Zest Advice

3 Ways You Can Work Like an Entrepreneur

Adopt a New Best Friend This Month

Concentration is Meditation

9 Books for a Happy Home

Find the Good: Keep the Recharge Button at the Ready

3 Ways to Gain Perspective

9 Ways to Improve Your Emotional Regulation Skills

15 Happy Quotes to Get You Through Today

Get Mentally Fit With Grit

Store

Articles

Quick Links