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Finding Strength in Adversity

It’s not the hand you have been dealt, or even how much the deck is stacked against you. It’s how you play your cards.At least, that’s HollyRobinson Peete’s perspective. Holly and her husband, former NFLquarterback Rodney Peete, have beenblessed with success in their careers. Butcaring for Holly’s father, who wassuffering from Parkinson’s disease, tooka toll on their family, both financiallyand emotionally.Inspired by herpersonal adversities, the actress-turned-philanthropistnow advocates for thecauses dear to her. Wanting to give back “It’s such a take, take, take world, and when you give back, you balance outall of the things and the blessings you have received,” Holly says. “It has mademe a less judgmental person and a morepatient person. My desire to live a life ofservice all comes from situations thathave happened to me.” Holly says she spent years feelingsorry for herself, saying, “Why me?”“Why is this happening to my lovedones?” But shifting the focus fromwhatever is going on in her life to helpingpeople who are suffering has been a verycathartic process. Drawing strength from family She and Rodney started theHollyRod Foundation in 1997 to helpthose dealing with Parkinson’s diseaseafford their treatments and medications.And in 2000, their mission expanded toinclude autism when their eldest son,Rodney “RJ” Peete Jr., was diagnosedwith the disorder. “We try to do a lot ofawareness and alleviate some of theirday-to-day stresses,” she says. “Both themission and the desire to raise funds andadvocate for families came out of twosituations, one with my father and onewith my son.” Compassionate care By partnering with the Parkinson’sDisease and other Movement DisordersCenter at the Keck School of Medicineof the University of Southern California,the HollyRod Compassionate CareProgram provides assistance withconsultations, physical therapy,swallowing treatment and ambulationaids. In 2010, the HollyRod Foundation teamed up with nabi tablet creator Fuhu Inc. to launch the Give the Gift of Voicecampaign, offering nonverbal autisticchildren a means to communicate. “These kids can’t talk, but they havea lot to say,” Holly says. “We have to givethem the tools to be able toexpress themselves.” Looking toward the future Holly is trying to bring issues like autistic kids' tendency to wander off, and the transition fromadolescence to adulthood into thediscussion. The same questions andfears she has for her own son, she has forevery child growing up with autism,including, “How is he going to live onhis own?” “Who is going to hire him?”“How will he adjust and become aproductive citizen?” Holly and RJ were on a flight homeafter a trip to the Super Bowl in NewYork. The seats were small andconfined, and 6-foot-2-inch RJ was fidgety. Midway through the flight, thegentleman in front of RJ turned aroundand scolded him for kicking the backofhis seat. Putting it in perspective “There was a time when they wouldhave had to haul me off. As a mom,I would have said, ‘How dare you bedisrespectful,’ ” she says. “Now I say,‘I understand what you are saying,and if I were in your position I wouldfeel this way, too, but here’s the deal.’He moved on, and I could tell he feltbad….I think that is the difference in the15 years we have been dealing with this.” Because of their experiences, Hollysays she and her family are stronger,more gracious and happier. That’s theirwinning hand.

Philanthropy

Events

Live Happy NowLive Happy Now is a weekly audio series created to engage and inspire by bringing you the best of positive psychology through powerful insights, relatable stories and expert advice. Live Happy Now will help you discover your own authentic happiness, in life, at work and at home.Live Happy Now will feature a different expert in the field of positive psychology, best-selling authors and happiness gurus from all over the world. Learn how to better understand the science of happiness and how to use it to create a positive emotional benefit for yourself and increase it in the lives of others. This audio series offers such variety of expertise on optimizing the happiness in your life – all at no cost to you!One-time registrationwill get you access to the Live Happy Now weekly audio series, updates on upcoming speakers, and other special bonuses!International Day of HappinessEvery year, on March 20, the world sets aside one day to celebrate and recognize the importance of happiness in our lives. Learn more about our year-round #HappyActscampaign and how you can help make the world a happier place.Get happy news, tips and things that make you smiledelivered to your inbox.

Philanthropy

And The Pursuit of Happiness

The Fourth of July is upon us, and with it, the following “self-evident” truths:That all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.Since 1776, we’ve broadened the message to include groups that Thomas Jefferson and the Founding Fathers overlooked—women and people of color, most notably. All, we now agree, enjoy the right to the “the pursuit of happiness.”But that only highlights the importance of knowing what the founders really meant by that curious phrase. The meaning, it turns out, is not as self-evident as it first might seem.American myth-bustingLet’s start by dispelling a myth. Many people will tell you that Jefferson, in penning the Declaration, made use of the old bait and switch, substituting the “pursuit of happiness” for what he really meant: the “pursuit of property.” The guy was a rich landlord, right? And the founders were wealthy men. Doesn’t it make sense that they should equate happiness with things you can get your hands on?It is certainly true that the founders had nothing against property, but there is little evidence that this is what they meant. Jefferson was a wordsmith, above all, and the draft of the Declaration that he submitted to the Continental Congress in the summer of 1776 was carefully vetted by people trained in the law, who made it their business to puzzle over each word. Not one of them puzzled or stumbled over the use of the word “happiness.” Evidently it did not seem out of place to them.And though there are places in 18th-century America where one can find the phrase “life, liberty and property,” we have to accept that if Jefferson had really meant property, he would have written it that way.What he really meantBut was the word, then, just “a glittering generality,” as a skeptic once put it, an alluring phrase that meant different things to different people, but meant nothing in itself?Jefferson, to be sure, aimed to be broad. As he explained in a letter later in his life, his aim in drafting the Declaration was to capture the “harmonizing sentiments” of the day, recording the different expressions of the “American mind.”The “pursuit of happiness” was one of those harmonizing sentiments. And though it had more than a single meaning, it is important to appreciate that in the 18th century, the phrase also had a certain common sense. The use of the word itself was not revolutionary.Jefferson and the Founding Fathers understood happiness in terms of pleasure and pain, and they freely granted that human beings ought to be at liberty to pursue the one and to flee the other however they best saw fit. They also shared the widespread sentiment that real happiness was to be captured not just by grasping after pleasant things.Happiness can be found in virtueWhere then did they hope to find it? On this, the founders all agreed. “Happiness is the aim of life,” Jefferson declared, typically, “but virtue is the foundation of happiness.” Virtue and happiness are “mother and daughter,” Benjamin Franklin agreed. John Adams was equally clear. “All sober inquirers after truth,” he insisted, “ancient and modern, pagan and Christian, have declared that the happiness of man, as well as his dignity, consists in virtue….”Just what precisely the founders meant by virtue is complicated in its own right. To pursue happiness effectively meant cultivating character and “right conduct,” generosity and friendship, a sense of duty, purpose, and belonging (to one’s fellow human beings, to one’s community, to one’s God). The best way to pursue happiness was to find it within.Jefferson and the founders understood that simple wisdom; we could stand to recall it. Too often, we set out, hoping to find our happiness beyond us—in other people, other places, other things. Instead we would be wise to look within.

relationships

10 Quick Fixes Every Parent Should Know

Life as a a parent is complicated. There is no one quick fixes that can completely solve the jigsaw puzzle of our responsibilities. But sometimes a small, simple solution to a tiny-but-nagging problem—a hack, a workaround—is exactly what we need. Eliminating the lost-keys-what’s-for-dinner-tonight-level annoyances opens up time and mental space for the Important Stuff: rest, exercise, productive work, and joyful time spent with family and friends. These 10 tips will save you a few precious minutes (and perhaps a few dollars) each week. If you devote this “found” time and money to what’s most important to you, your happiness is bound to increase. 1. Come up with three dinners that use pantry ingredients You probably already have a few simple go-to dishes that are satisfying, nourishing and easy to prepare. Alter the recipes (if necessary) so you can make three family favorites using onlyingredients that you already have in the pantry and freezer. Swap fresh vegetables for frozen, even if that’s not your usual practice (peas and edamame in particular are good frozen). Store shredded cheese in the freezer so it’s always ready to go. Once you know what your favorite pantry meals are—this is key—religiously keep these ingredients stocked in your home. There, now you’ll always have something for dinner. Bonus hack: Double the recipe for stews and casseroles, and store the extra meal in the freezer. 2. Use over-the-door clear pocket shoe holders everywhere Shoe organizers can organize so much more than shoes! In the bathroom, store styling products, hair clips, sunscreen, and bandages. In kids’ rooms, organize small toy and stuffed animal collections. In the laundry room, hold clothespins, stain sticks, and orphan socks. In the office, store small electronics with their associated chargers and cables. 3. Hang a whiteboard in the kitchen so everyone can add to the grocery list. Whoever is going shopping, take a phone picture of the board! This way you have shared responsibility for the list. No data entry in spreadsheets or fussy grocery list apps; no lost or forgotten slip of paper. Genius. 4. Attach a carabiner clip to your keychain, and clip your keys to your purse strap. You’ll never lose your keys again. With your keys visible, you’re also less likely to lock them in the car. 5. Flatten toilet paper rolls to slow down the spin. Your kids will use less toilet paper, and the roll is less likely to unravel onto the floor. 6. Take digital pictures of your kid’s favorite art projects, then repurpose the originals. This hack lets you save the best of your kid’s art, share its beauty and declutter at the same time. Take digital photos of your kids’ best and/or favorite art projects. Then transform the originals into wrapping paper, gift labels, birthday cards and gifts. (Especially popular with grandparents and teachers.) If you’re ambitious, collect the photos in a photobook and give that as a gift, or keep it as a memento for yourself and the artists themselves. 7. Keep a kitchen timer in every room in your house. Of all the gadgets floating around my home, the most useful has been the basic wind-up kitchen timer. The timer speeds shared cleanup time (we see how much we can get done before it rings). The timer also stands in as a neutral third party that announces screen time limits, turn-taking reminders, shower ending times, homework breaks and cool-down periods after arguments. It’s like having a trusty lieutenant. Bonus hack: While traveling or running errands, use the timer on your mobile phone to set time limits in stores. 8. Use a password management app to store more than passwords. I use 1Password to securely store passwords, account numbers, credit card numbers and my kids’ Social Security numbers. Not only is the information secure, it’s also automatically synced between my computer and mobile device. Having this information on hand simplifies filling out forms in banks and other official places. I can more easily conduct business using my mobile phone, and I can log into a website from a computer that’s not mine. (I’m careful never to let public browsers auto-save my passwords.) 9. Keep your toddler from rolling out of bed with a rolled towel Great hack for when your child is ready to move from a crib into a “big kid” bed: place a rolled towel under the fitted sheet along the edge of the bed. 10. Fold sheet sets and store them inside one of the pillowcases. This tip will save you laundry folding and organizing hassle and will de-clutter your linen closet—especially if you have beds of different sizes. Plus, you’ll never scramble for clean guest sheets again. (I can’t be the only one who does this, right?)

Self-Care

Mining for Happiness

Legos were once the ultimate building blocks of our imaginations. Hand me a kit meant for making a castle, and I’d find a way to turn it into a spaceship. I was limited only by my own creativity and the number of blocks I owned. If I’d had access to a digital world-building game like Minecraft at my fingertips when I was a kid, I would never have run out of blocks (or left my room, for that matter).Now kids have access to fully realized sandbox games (also called free roam and open world). Sandbox games are essentially digital playgrounds that allow users to manipulate and alter the world they play in. In the case of Minecraft, it is a sort of timeless primal landscape made up of 3-D world rocks, lakes, and mountains, and populated by animals.Playing in the giant sandboxMinecraft is one of the most popular games in this genre. With more than 100 million registered players, there’s no shortage of builders getting lost in a world of their own creation. There are four modes to choose from: creative, survival, hard-core and adventure. Creative is purely about building your own universe (I’ve seen everything from the Mona Lisa to a scale model X-Wing), whereas survival mode involves hoarding meat and crafting yourself a little house (a house that won’t last long once your little sister decides that dynamite would look really nice next to it). Minecraft discussions now dominate elementary school playgrounds, with pig-tailed girls discussing the fastest way to make a diamond sword (the pinnacle of pixilated weaponry in the game).Parents, meanwhile, are conflicted. On the one hand, this actually seems like a creative, interesting game that utilizes your whole imagination. And yet it seems to have swallowed our children; the game is downright addictive. Why is it so popular? One reason may be that creativity is a defining factor in happiness. When we are creatively engaged, it helps us to achieve a state of “flow,” which psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes as “an almost automatic, effortless, yet highly focused state of consciousness.” This state may or may not be accompanied by dilated pupils and complete lack of attention to everything outside the screen.Ruler of my domainIn addition, kids normally toil under adult rules, in a world devised and controlled by adults. In Minecraft, kids can create their own world, with their own rules. At the same time, they are driven to rack up more points, mine more ore, get to the next level and beat their peers—it all just makes you want to play longer and score higher. This intoxicating sense of autonomy and mastery (of the mines, of the score, of the game) packs a psychological wallop. No wonder we literally can’t put it down. It’s amazing to think that Minecraft was only released in 2011, and it’s now a global phenomenon.The building blocks of creativityMinecraft is not the only sandbox game that uses creation tools to stimulate curious minds. And Legos themselves are, paradoxically, as popular as ever. Nothing can replace the hands-on feel of building something with physical blocks. But kids will continue to enthusiastically inhabit Minecraft, where they can actualize their imaginations and create an entire universe for all to see. The game is even being used for some real-world applications, such as an app in Sweden that lets school kids design their own block, and something called the Block by Block initiative run by UN Habitat, which allows young people to use Minecraft to design real-world environments.Whether working together to build a grand city or fighting over fragments of iron, Minecraft and sandbox games in general give kids the opportunity to imagine and explore—to experience mastery and flow, and to write their own rules—all in the safe confines of a game. Later, maybe they will take some of those experiences and apply them to the outside world.

Self-Care

Foods That Heal

Today, I am one of the happiest people I know: I have great relationships with my friends and family—and most importantly, with myself. My body is healthy and vibrant, and I am doing meaningful work that I love. But it wasn’t always this way. Just a few short years ago, I was clinically depressed, suffering with an excruciatingly painful and debilitating disease, stuck in a dead-end—all while my second marriage was ending painfully. Luckily, I learned that making changes to my meals, mind and movement had a huge impact on the way I feel—physically and mentally. Chasing a diagnosis Although pinpointing a diagnosis was difficult and time-consuming, with possibilities ranging from multiplesclerosis to lupus to rheumatoid arthritis, one thing was prettyclear: My body was attacking itself. For some reason, my immune system had gone into overdrive. All of the experts agreed, an autoimmune disease was ravaging my body. MRIs showed that my joints were literally dissolving away. The pain and disability were so pervasive that it was incredibly difficult for me to care for my children, keep my business going or even perform regular activities of daily life. I finally got a diagnosis: “destructive bilateral polyarthralgia with bony erosion.” Doctors said my condition would continue to deteriorate. They recommended starting with a course of chemotherapy, which would then be followed by injecting myself weekly with immune-suppressant drugs for the rest of my life, and/or the possibility that I might end up in a wheelchair. Because I have four children (and all of the germs that come along with them), I was hesitant to suppress my immune system for fear of being taken out by the common cold. The long list of side effects scared me to death, not to mention that the price tag for the injections—a whopping $5,000 a month! (At around the same time, I was also diagnosed with major depression. Again, I was reluctant to follow the recommended treatment: antidepressants with an endless list of side effects.) Hitting bottom Most of my doctors respected my hesitation to follow the recommended regimen, but responses ranged from compassionate understanding and thinly veiled pity to downright anger. One doctor even yelled in my face, accusing me of being a horrible mother if I continued to reject the treatments. Even my best friend, who had accompanied me to that appointment, was swayed by the sheer force of this doctor’s opinion and begged me to go on the drugs. Although my confidence faltered when confronted with such conviction, I still felt I owed it to my kids—and myself—to see if I could figure out a way to heal myself without causing more damage. So I set out on a mission. For five years, I searched high and low. I tried every possible cure I found on the Internet, heard about from a friend of a friend, or saw on late-night TV. I ate bunches of gin-soaked raisins for a stretch of time, introduced copious amounts of gelatin another and even subjected myself to freezing-cold ice baths—all with no resolution of my symptoms. A generous friend paid for a visit to an acupuncturist, but it wasn’t enough. I tried cutting out all nightshade plants from my diet, became a strict vegan and tried any supplement that promised to help… all to no avail. Finding functional medicine Just as I was about to give up hope, my husband at the time was given an out-of-state job transfer, and in a last-ditch attempt to salvage my failing marriage, our family relocated across the country. In these new surroundings, I found myself without the friends and family I had relied on when I needed help due to my limitations. My husband was starting to believe that the drugs might be the way to go, but I still wasn’t convinced, so we struck a deal: If I couldn’t figure out a cure within the next three months, I would follow doctors’ orders and begin the chemo/immuno-suppressant treatment. Two months later, I was given a referral for a chiropractor who is also a practitioner of what’s called functional medicine. Functional medicine takes a holistic approach to health and wellness, looking at the root cause of illness as opposed to treating the symptoms. She asked me about my daily activities, family dynamics, work, stress, exercise and diet. She ran all kinds of tests and counseled me about what I should and shouldn’t eat. Although I had already undergone testing by an allergist, she explained that food sensitivity testing would pinpoint items that may not cause immediate symptoms such as hives or anaphylaxis, but were nevertheless doing major damage. Immediate results Sure enough, once I eliminated the foods that the testing found I was sensitive to, along with cutting out processed foods, I felt the difference. I underwent a cleanse protocol which included probiotics along with vitamins and supplements. Almost immediately after I began filling my body with nutrients instead of toxins, my body was able to do what it was designed to do: heal itself. Within a week, I noticed I was able to move with less pain, rashes and headaches subsided. As a happy bonus, the extra weight that I had not been able to budge began melting away. Within a few short months, the change was amazing: I was able to play with my kids again, and I was strong enough to carry them without fear. Along with almost complete relief of my pain, my thinking was clearer, I was bubbling over with energy, and I had hope for the future. Meals that heal In my case, the journey towards health and happiness began at the end of my fork. It turned out that what I was eating was playing a huge role in the deterioration of my physical condition, as well as my mental condition. Even before receiving my lab test results, Dr. Ridley instructed me to cut out gluten, dairy and processed foods. I wasn’t sure how I could possibly accomplish this! Pizza and cheeses of all types were among my favorite foods; I couldn’t just break it off. But eventually I learned that I had non-celiac gluten sensitivity, and I knew that if these changes could make me healthier, I had to do it. I have to give up pizza? At first, changing my diet and learning to cook life-sustaining foods was a daunting task. As a working mother of four, I had fueled myself on frozen dinners and diet soda for decades, and heavily relied on processed convenience foods to get dinner on the table quickly. But at this point, I would have done anything to get my life and my health back.I researched ingredients, combed through thousands of recipes, spent hours going to store after store, only to come home and spend several more hours tweaking intricate recipes to meet my new standards. And the payoff was well worth it. I now knew how to create meals that were life-sustaining, and I was feeling so much better. But it still has to taste good As much as I was unbelievably grateful for this new lease on life, turning mealtime into a full-time job was keeping me from doing other important things, like spending time with my family and working on projects that were meaningful to me. With as much dedication as I put into overhauling my diet, I set out to create a new way of cooking. I held my meals to three standards: 1) they had to contain only real, whole foods—nothing processed and no chemicals, 2) they had to be quick to throw together and 3) they had to be tasty!While I would have been willing to subsist on kale and aloe alone when I was desperate to regain my health, I was beginning to realize that part of the nourishment we derive from the food we eat is the pure joy of experiencing delicious tastes, textures and smells. Not to mention that my family was certainly not excited for a menu of nothing but greens and sprouts. I developed several go-to weeknight meals that met my criteria so we could enjoy tasty, healthy dinners without spending hours preparing them. Sharing the knowledge Full of gratitude after regaining my own health, I went to work in the functional medicine field, hoping to help others like myself. I found that many of the physicians I was working with, as well as their patients, had difficulty with the same problems I faced in trying to eat healthfully. While they knew what to do (cut out processed foods, eat more fresh produce, etc.) they, and their patients, were struggling with how to maintain their busy lifestyles and balance other commitments while creating tasty meals that would contribute to their health and wellbeing. I began sharing my recipes with the doctors I worked with, and offered to speak with their patients and do cooking demonstrations for them. Eventually, I created and presented a teaching series at Baylor Medical Center, “Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Stress-Free,” to share my research and recipes for quick and easy meals and lifestyle tips. If you are struggling with low moods or physical challenges, be encouraged. It is possible that making a few small, relatively simple changes really can put you on the road to health and happiness. So many of the “bad” things that have happened in my life were truly the best opportunities for me to learn and grow. Now, it's my mission to share what I've learned, and continue to learn, with anyone who can benefit from it. Because life is meant to be lived, food is meant to be enjoyed, and the better you feel physically and the happier you are with the way you look, the more you can focus on fulfilling your dreams and achieving your personal goals.

Positive Psychology

Death Becomes Us

Nearly all of the world’s wisdom traditions agree on a surprising point: Thinking about death can be good for your happiness.Plato, for example, understood the goal of philosophy as the pursuit of lasting happiness (eudaimonia), but also described philosophy as a “meditation on death.” Or think of the Buddha, who aimed to free human beings from their self-imposed suffering so that they could cultivate genuine happiness, yet insisted that we keep the end forever in mind. “Of all mindfulness meditations,” he emphasized, “that on death is supreme.” Dust to dustJews were no less open to such wisdom. “All are fromthe dust, and to dust all return,” the Book of Ecclesiastes observes in a pointed line. It was intended as a message to remember. Nor could Christians easily ignore it. The central symbol of their faith—the cross—is a memento mori. Lest they forget this, many Christians to this day receive ashes on their brows on Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, just after the fun of Mardi Gras has come to an end. “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return,” the priest declares. What a way to end a party.I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens. —Woody AllenDenial of deathAll of this may seem a little morbid in today’s world—even for the religious or the philosophically inclined. Tales of saints and hermits staring at skulls freak us out. Death in the early 21st century is something we prefer to avoid. When friends and family get sick, for example, we usually send them away—to a hospital or hospice—rather than let them die in plain sight. The poet and historian Jennifer Michael Hecht, who has written insightfully on the subject of happiness and death in her book The Happiness Myth, points out that “Most people [today] have not seen someone die, whereas, in past centuries, even young children were brought to deathbeds to witness a period of sometimes agonized dying, and then the much-respected moment of transformation. This moment was as sacred and revered as the modern-day birth.” We hide death from our children these days and opt for youth and vitality over old age. And when our soldiers fall in combat, the cameras are barred from even showing the body bags when they return.The modern cult of youth could be hindering our happinessSurely this avoidance is also a little extreme? At the very least it may be worth asking in our death-averse society—with its cult of youth and good cheer—just what the benefits of thinking of the end might be. Why have all those wise men and sages counseled us to remember death? They may have had some good reasons.It turns out that modern psychologists, no less than ancient sages, have something to say on the matter. They point out, for example, that confronting our mortality may trigger what the psychologist Dan Gilbert calls a kind of “psychological autoimmune response,” or what Social Psychology professors Nathan DeWall and Roy Baumeister describe as a “terror management” system that allows us to deal with existential threats. Thinking about death, in other words, triggers offsetting feelings of happiness, allowing us to manage our terror of death. Just as the immune system of the body fights off pathogens, this immune system of the mind apparently helps us process threatening thoughts such as death.That may be one explanation for why the curved graph of happiness over a lifetime looks like a smiley face. (According to Gallup studies, our happiness starts high, dips in our 40s and 50s, and then makes an upswing right up to the end.) In one of life’s little compensations for our receding hairlines and expanding waistlines, men and women tend to get happier as they get older, after bottoming out in middle age.Strangely, it may actually be the increasing proximity of death that gives us an off-setting boost of happiness via this same autoimmune response.We appreciate life when we think about its finality and fragilityOr it may just be, as the sages have often said, that to recall our mortality is to force us to take the measure of what we have—the gift of life—and to weigh its importance and put it into perspective. The frustrations of the day-to-day tend to disappear or turn to dust when measured against eternity. And to prepare for a good death is necessarily to undertake to live in a way that would make that possible.There is even evidence to suggest that cultures that think about death regularly in open and constructive ways are happier than those that don’t. As the writer Eric Weiner discovered in his quest to discover the happiest places in the world, which he chronicles inThe Geography of Bliss, the subject of death came up surprisingly often when he went looking for happiness. “You need to think about death for five minutes a day,” one man in the tiny mountain kingdom of Bhutan told him. It was, in this case, a specifically Buddhist insight. But the advice is backed up by wisdom, ancient and modern, that can make a claim to universality.Intimations of mortalityIf it is true, as the writer Thomas Mann said in his great novel, The Magic Mountain, that “for the sake of goodness and love, man should not let death rule his thoughts,” it is equally true that to ignore death entirely is counterproductive. That is a risk in the early 21st century. For the sake of our happiness, we could all stand to cultivate a little philosophy.

Positive Psychology

World Cup Fever

I don’t usually watch professional soccer.The extent of my knowledge is that Cristiano Ronaldo and LionelMessi are some of the greatest players of our era, and that I should be watching them in action.Normally this lack of knowledge would pose a problem, as it’s difficult to engage in a discussion about sports if you know very little about who plays for whom and which teams play in what leagues. Thankfully the World Cup makes things simple: 32 teams, each representing one country, gunning for the same prize. Once every four years, we all get to witness this absolutely insane tournament—a time when a sport isn’t about which players are highest paid or who got traded where. Instead, temporarily (for the U.S.) inscrutably low scores, the occasional red flag and the more-than-occasional elbow in the ribs reign supreme, and every team’s national pride is on the line.This is where the fun lies. You don’t have to be an expert in World Cup soccer to be an involved fan. Team allegiances are out the window, replaced by nationalistic zeal. It’s amazing to be a part of the joy and excitement in watching a country—especially your home country—participate on a massive stage in the world’s most popular sport.Whether or not you’re a fan of soccer is irrelevant. The World Cup is an event bigger than the game itself. Happiness doesn't even begin to describe what Brazilians, Italians, or Cameroon feel when their team prevails on the pitch. It's more like euphoria crossed with an exploding supernova. A tiny bit of that feeling might be contagious.So take a minute to enjoy the sound of an exuberant crowd, the company of your friends and the beauty of a historic game. We only get this chance once every four years, so there’s no reason not to get excited and get involved. Who knows, maybe by the end of it you’ll know a little more about the game—and maybe even have some new sports heroes.

Self-Care

5 Foods to Boost Your Mood

With the help of Dr. Drew Ramsey, author of the Recipe for Happiness blogand the books Fifty Shades of Kaleand The Happiness Diet, we’re making eating happy simple. Here are Drew’s picks for the top five happiness-boosting foods you should add to your shopping cart on your nextvisit to the supermarket.1. KaleIt’s the current darling of the nutrition scene, and it’s also one of the healthiestthings you can put on your plate.Plus, this leafy green veggie can beprepared more ways than you everdreamed possible.Why it makes you happy: Kale ispacked with phytonutrients, plant-basedmolecules that help our brains, as wellas folate, a vitamin often used as a supplement to treat depression.How to work it into your life: Greatnews—kale isn’t just for salads anymore!Make fresh, crispy kale chips withyour choice of seasonings, add it to asmoothie, even bake it into brownies!2. SeafoodSure, you’ve heard that you need to eatwild-caught salmon, but there are manymore options to fish around for. Mussels,clams and oysters are also great brainfood, and if you must order pizza, makesure you add the anchovies.Why it makes you happy: Seafoodis loaded with omega-3 fats, essentialnutrients for many bodily functions but,in particular, it helps make us happy.However, fish brings a lot more than justfats to the table, including B-12, iodine,selenium and DHEA, all of which arevital for a healthy, happy brain.How to work it into your life: Fish isa popular main course, but if you wantto work your way into it, there areplenty of appetizers and hors d’oeuvres,from the classic (shrimp cocktail andsteamed mussels) to the exotic (stuffedmushrooms with clams, red pepper andanchovies) that can help you diversifyyour palate.3. NutsNuts have finally gained a well-deservedreputation as sources of heart-healthy antioxidants and healthy fats. Just anounce a day can help improve both yourphysical and mental health.Why they make you happy: Almonds,pecans and walnuts are among the nutsthat contain calcium, which can helpoffset hormonal imbalances in women aswell as alleviate symptoms of anxiety,depression, irritability and impairedmemory. In 2012, a study published inthe Journal of Proteome Research alsolinked them to higher serotonin levels,which make you feel calmer and happier.How to work them into your life: Bythe handful! Eat them as a snack, tossthem into your cereal and salads, or pairthem with yogurt. You really can’t gowrong, so…go nuts!4. BeansThey’re extremely versatile as well as anaffordable way to keep your healthyeating on track. Whether you want themon the side or as a main course, you’redoing yourself a huge favor by workingthem into your list of favorite foods.Why they make you happy: Beans areloaded with iron, a mineral that canboost both your mood and your energylevels. They’re also filled withphytonutrients, helping ward off disease and letting the body function properly,as well as essential folate and fiber.While blueberries are often heralded fortheir antioxidants, half a cup of redbeans has 1 1⁄2 times the antioxidants ofa cup of blueberries.How to work them into your life:Sprinkle them on a salad, make beandip, mix them with red pepper and eggsfor a spicy Mexican dish, or add them tolasagna instead of meat. There arecountless ways to befriend beans!5. EggsThese took a beating a few years agoand got a bad rap for their cholesterolcontent. But even the American HeartAssociation has backed away from thatstance and agrees eggs are a great wayto start the day. But these days, theyaren’t just for breakfast.Why they make you happy: Eggsdeliver B-12, folate, protein and healthyfat—all of which are very importantin terms of brain function. The yolkis packed with carotenoids, giving it itsyellow color, and recent studies atHarvard have linked carotenoids to optimism.How to work them into your life:Start the day with them scrambled,sunny-side-up or poached. Later, youcan have them hard-boiled and tossedin a salad, stirred into noodle disheslike pad thai, or even blended intoyour smoothie.

Giving

3 Building Blocks of Compassion

"There are several practices, or strategies,that help us cultivate compassion," saysJan Hutton, a certified CompassionateListening facilitator who works with theCompassionate Listening Project. "Together, they teach us to listen to theworld with a different ear, to see theother person’s humanity and to respondin a different way."1. Find peace in yourselfThe first step is being compassionate withyourself. “I have to own my ownvulnerability as a human being and use itas a bridge to someone else’s heart,” Janexplains. “I have to acknowledge mywounds, acknowledge my mistakes,acknowledge that I’m human,acknowledge that I have limits. And Ihave to be gentle with myself.”Don’tbeat yourself up or criticize yourselfwhen you make mistakes or don’t live upto your own or others’ expectations.Instead, simply remind yourself thatmistakes are something you share withevery other human on the planet. It’s abond that pulls all of us together.2. Listen and reflectListen with yourheart. When you talk with anotherperson, quiet your mind, focus on the them, look for a deeper point ofconnection and practice reflective listening. When someone explains howthey feel about something, Jan says,repeat it so they know you understand who they are, what they think and whatthey feel. Expect—and accept withoutjudgment or comment—points of viewthat are widely divergent from your own.As the late Gene Knudsen Hoffman,founder of the Compassionate ListeningProject, wrote: “We must listen with aspiritual ear,” not the ones we usuallywalk through the world with.3. QuestionAsk friends to tell youstories and then follow up with questionsto encourage deeper thinking, such as “How has this situation affected yourlife?” “What was that like for you?” and“Can you tell me what life experience ledyou to feel this way?”The approach works in three ways: First,it helps us better understand someoneelse’s life story. Second, it allows usto sense our shared humanity. And,third, it helps us practice maintainingan attitude of acceptance so we avoidjudgments that are really results of ourbiases and fears.

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