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5 Steps to Spring Cleaning Your Emotional Closet

Around this time of year, you’re bound to see loads of articles about spring cleaning. And with the rise of Marie Kondo’s bestselling book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, decluttering has taken on a near-spiritual status. Spring is a time of rebirth, and just as we like to open the windows and give the house new light and new life, it is also the perfect time to break out the vacuum cleaner and clean out our emotional closets, where the dust-bunnies of fear and mildew of stagnation take hold. Cleaning out a closet has its challenges: Do you keep the much-loved sweater that is stained? Should you hang on to the jeans you swear you’ll fit into again someday? So it comes as no surprise that facing what’s in your emotional closet will take a little courage, patience and dedication. But if you follow these steps, you’ll kick off spring with a well-organized and freshly polished state of mind. Step 1: Take inventory The first step for cleaning out anything—emotional or otherwise—is to take a look at everything and see what you have. When it comes to emotional housekeeping, this means making time to write down what’s going on in the main areas of your life: work, home, relationships and love. What’s working well in these areas? What would you like to change? You may want to think about the fundamental building blocks of well-being according to positive psychology (PERMA), and see how you stack up there. Do you feel you have enough meaning in your life? Do you lack a sense of achievement at work, and are you engaged with the world around you? Step 2: Let go of what’s not working Just as you’d throw away worn-out T-shirts if you were cleaning out your closet, now is the time to identify and remove (or try to minimize) whatever no longer works for you emotionally. This could be a grudge you’ve been holding on to for years, a job you dread going to every day, or even a friend who no longer shares your values. This step is hard. When it comes to at-home organization, this is usually where people give up and just shove everything back into the closet. Doing the emotional work of letting go of things you’ve held on to but that no longer serve you can be painful, but the more negativity you remove, the more space you’ll have for positivity. Step 3: Give back what you can When it comes to actual closet cleaning, you would donate what you no longer need to friends or a charity. While you probably can’t do this with emotional cleaning (you can’t recycle a job, can you?), this is a good time to think about what you can give back to the world. Do you have special talents or skills? Are you a good friend, parent or co-worker? Are you able to donate time, money or efforts to a good cause? We all possess certain emotional skills that others can benefit from, and giving back to others can positively impact your emotional well-being. Step 4: Decide what you need more of After you identify what you no longer want and can give to others, it’s time to assess what you need more of in your life. Refer back to what you wrote in Step 1. What steps can you take right now to get more of what you need? For example, if you wrote that you’d like more affection from your partner, now’s the time to ask for it. Or, if you realized you need more alone time, tell your family you’ll be taking an hour to relax solo. Take steps to improve your well-being by actively creating the life you want. Step 5: Keep working at it Organized people keep their closets (and the rest of their rooms) arranged neatly by doing little bits of tidying every day. Keep your emotional closet clean by doing frequent check-ins. One of the best ways to do this is by keeping a journal. Checking in daily with the notes you made in Step 1 is the equivalent of putting things away as soon as you get home every night. For some, daily check-ins might be a bit much, but resolve to keep tabs on your emotional state at least once a week. Doing so will help you stay on track—and will prevent having to do a deep-down clean-out in the future. Dani DiPirro is an author, blogger and designer living in a suburb of Washington, D.C. In 2009, she launched the website PositivelyPresent.com with the intention of sharing her insights about living a positive and present life. Dani is the author of Stay Positive, The Positively Present Guide to Life and a variety of e-books. She is also the founder of Twenty3, a design studio focused on promoting positive, modern graphic design and illustration.
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The special spring edition hits newsstands today!

Welcome to Our New Issue!

Step inside the lushly illustrated and photography-filled issue of Live Happy’s print magazine! This month we have Kristen Bell on the cover and Michael Strahan inside. We have a monster article about raising happy kids and an introduction to the science of savoring. You’ll find happiness on every page! Bell curves With a booming career on television, in blockbuster films and as a singer, Kristen Bell is a triple threat. The star talks about how she and her family have made laughter, honesty, kindness and happiness a priority in their busy lives. Can you be happy all day? Editor at large Shelley Levitt puts this question to the test by sharing dozens of research-tested mood-boosting practices—all in the course of one 24-hour period. The hardest-working man in any business Football hero, morning talk-show host, clothing impresario…and now author? Is there anything Michael Strahan can’t do—and can’t do well? We sit down with the author of Wake Up Happy to find out where his incredible energy and positive attitude come from. Move over meditation The latest trend in mindfulness and stress reduction— floating in a darkened tank filled with room-temperature water and hundreds of pounds of salt. Learn about this new healing technique that is spreading rapidly throughout the country. The International Day of Happiness is coming The annual festivities take place on March 20. If you can’t make it to one of our Happiness Walls, we’ve got instructions for making your own Family Happiness Board at home!
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What’s Your Next Happy Act?

Mark Twain once wrote, “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up,” and now science proves his sentiment to be true. Research shows us that lasting happiness comes from helping, appreciating and caring for others. When we share small acts of kindness (Happy Acts) to boost someone's happiness with a simple smile or compliment, our own happiness soars. Soon, joy becomes contagious. And that’s what the International Day of Happiness on March 20 is all about—spreading happiness. Four years ago, the United Nations established March 20 as the International Day of Happiness after passing a resolution that “happiness is a fundamental human goal.” The initiative to declare the special day came from Bhutan—a country whose citizens are considered to be some of the most joyful in the world. “Happiness for the entire human family is one of the main goals of the United Nations,” says U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon. Each year Live Happy celebrates International Day of Happiness with its #HappyActs campaign to drive positive change and spread serious cheer around the globe. Orange Happiness Walls are put up across the United States and Canada as gathering places for people to pledge how they will share Happy Acts and inspire others to live purpose-driven, meaningful lives. Host your own wall! For those who can't make it out to one of the walls, we also encourage you to host your own happiness wall at your school, business or community organization. It's a great way to inspire and unify employees and coworkers, neighbors and students around a positive theme! For instructions on creating your own wall, check here for more information. March to happiness This year, Live Happy’s theme for International Day of Happiness is “March to Happiness.” On each day of March, Live Happy will share on its social media pages a simple Happy Act that you can do, or you can keep up by checking our calendar. Each science-backed tip will include exactly how it boosts well-being. Nanette Pelletier’s happy act has gone big. She wanted to share some warm meals with the homeless on Christmas. She started a program called Feed Hawaii’s Homeless with her husband and daughter three years ago and shared 18 warm meals. Nanette’s program quickly inspired others to donate food items, time and money to her cause. On Christmas Day 2015, they prepared and shared 1,000 meals and gifts for the homeless. “It was so amazing to see it come together and be successful, I cried the entire day as we pulled the pictures and video together,” she said. Each warm meal was wrapped with a Live Happy notecard bearing a positive message like, “Someone in the world is thinking of you right now.” Nanette said some people sobbed as they read the uplifting messages. Lots of celebrations are planned around the world, including happiness flash mobs (people who gather with delightfully original signs created to spread cheer to strangers—last year’s messages included “Hey, you got this!” and “Hey gorgeous—yes, you!—smile!”) and community potlucks designed to turn strangers into friends. Michele McKeag Larsen of The Joy Team will be putting up happiness billboards starting March 14 with positive messages like “You make a difference.” Or, “Make some magic. Fairy dust optional.” Your own Happy Acts can just be small, positive moments. Hold the door open for someone, buy coffee for the stranger behind you in line or give a compliment. Small acts can leave a big impact. When you are happy, it changes how you think and behave, opening you up to opportunities, and making life more positive and fun. Together we can turn the world into a more connected place and make happiness contagious. What #HappyActs will you do? Start planning now!
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How the Liberal Arts Lost Its Happiness Groove

How the Liberal Arts Lost Its Happiness Groove

“The liberal arts are a luxury we just can’t afford.” You’ve probably heard some variation of that line before. I hear it all the time—from politicians, pundits, business leaders, the parents of my students, and (occasionally) from students themselves. With belt tightening and concerns about resources and employability in the new global economy, the sentiment is certainly understandable. But it leaves out something central about the liberal arts. At their core, they are about living the good life—a flourishing and happy life in the fullest sense of the words. Liberal arts are about what it means to be a human Let me explain. What we call the “liberal arts”—broadly speaking, subjects such as history, literature, foreign languages, philosophy, natural philosophy (science), and mathematics—derive from the classical artes liberales, those subjects that the Greeks and Romans believed were essential to making human beings fit for dignity and freedom (the Latin word liber means free). They frequently overlapped with the studia humanitates—what we call the “humanities”—essentially the study of what it means to be a human being. Great thinkers pondered happiness throughout history This was the foundational question of philosophy, whose central aim from Socrates forward was the investigation of happiness or human flourishing. It remained the question of philosophy for many centuries to come. Aristotle asked it. So did the Stoics and the Epicureans. In late Antiquity and the Middle Ages, St. Augustine, Boethius, and St. Thomas Aquinas wrestled with the question, as did Erasmus and Thomas Moore, among many others, in the Renaissance. In the 18th century, the great philosophers of the Enlightenment tended to agree with Voltaire, who declared that the “the great and only concern is to be happy.” And leading lights such John Stuart Mill continued to grapple with that concern well into the 19th century. The 20th Century decides: Happiness isn't cool But then something happened. In the 20th century, philosophers for the most part turned their back on the good life. They analyzed language; they thought about nothingness; they worried about alienation and nihilism. And centuries of thought about living well were largely dismissed, forgotten or ignored. A similar forgetting occurred in the study of literature, which had existed since its inception to provide pleasure to readers and enhance life with insights about the human condition. But in the 20th century, in the shadow of the Holocaust and two world wars, the study of literature was transformed into a negative affair. In such a climate, the positive seemed glib. Convinced that pain alone was profound and positive emotion somehow superficial and trite, academics across the world took the joy out of the novel, play, and poem, forgetting in the process to stress the themes that were always there between the pages: optimism and resilience, hope and forgiveness, gratitude and altruism, kindness, laughter, wonder and just plain fun. The dismal science It would be easy to trace this negative turn in other disciplines in the liberal arts and the humanities. Economics, which emerged in the 18th century to maximize the greatest happiness for the greatest number, became in the hands of its descendants the “dismal science,” devoted to maximizing profits. Politics, too, got caught up in the pursuit of power at the expense of the pursuit of happiness. Even the venerable discipline of history, whose very first document—The History of Herodotus—begins with an inquiry about the happiest man in the world, was transformed into a long chronicle of cruelty, oppression, injustice and not much else. “There is no document of civilization that is not at the same time a document of barbarism,” the influential critic Walter Benjamin declared. Not much room for happiness in that. A new look at the positive humanities Fortunately, with the dawn of the 21st century, things have begun to change, with students of the liberal arts and humanities today actively reclaiming their historic mission to examine and cultivate the good life. Similar to the shift in psychology in recent years toward a positive psychology that seeks to understand well-being and not simply disease, humanists are moving toward a “positive humanities,” which would draw out and focus on those aspects of the liberal arts that are of benefit to human flourishing and provide insight and guidance about how to live. Philosophers have begun to re-engage with the question of happiness and well-being. Students of literature are studying the great novels and poems of the world through the lens of happiness, drawing out themes that reckon not only with tragedy but with triumph and joy. For some time now, leading scholars in economics and politics have been pursuing gross national happiness in their works. And even historians have begun to write histories of happiness and positive emotion, making clear that the record of human achievement can inspire more than just despair. Optimism, hope and imagination The aim of this collective work is not to ignore suffering, as if life were just one big bowl of cherries, but rather to balance out the negative by drawing attention to the positive. The liberal arts provide a vast repository of wisdom about human well-being, and the positive humanities aim to bring its treasures back into view. Thus a recent anthology On Human Flourishing gathers classics of the world’s poetic heritage around themes such as insight, pride, self-love and resilience, ecstasy, elevation and rapture, consciousness expansion and growth, inspiration and imagination, optimism, idealism, and hope, wonder and awe, vitality and mindfulness, compassion, serenity, justice, and self-determination. The poets of the world have had deep and inspiring things to say about all these matters, and much besides. It is hardly barbaric to read their work with wonder and a smile. If the liberal arts can continue to return to its core mission of helping human beings to live well, then surely the richest civilization in the history of humanity can afford them. Happiness may be a luxury, but it is one that we all deserve. Darrin M. McMahon is a historian, author, and public speaker, who lives in Somerville, Massachusetts and is a Professor of History at Dartmouth College. He is the author of Happiness: A History, which has been translated into 12 languages and was awarded Best Books of the Year honors for 2006 by the New York Times, The Washington Post, the Library Journal, and Slate Magazine.
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10 Ways You Can Be Happier Today

How can we feel happier on a day-to-day basis? Practicing gratitude, unplugging and living in the present moment come immediately to mind. Sometimes we know all the right answers, but putting those ideas into practice is the tough part. To help you fully embrace life as it unfolds before you, we've put together this list of helpful practices. (Happiness overachievers can click on the highlighted links to learn even more about each practice.) 1. Strengthen self-control We don’t have to exhaust our willpower or decision-making quota for the day when we make healthy habits automatic. Make one or more of these fundamental habits a regular part of your daily life in order to help you set and keep other healthy habits: 1. Get seven hours of sleep; 2. Go for a 20-minute walk; 3. Don’t let yourself get too hungry; 4. Take time to unclutter; 5. Give yourself a healthy treat. 2. Get some sleep According to sleep expert Michael Breus, Ph.D., sleeping less than seven hours each night can negatively impact your outlook, make you crave unhealthy foods and even kill your productivity. For those with serious trouble sleeping, he suggests you go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, take the TV out of the bedroom and get out of bed if you can’t fall asleep within 20 to 30 minutes. 3. Build up your emotional toolkit If you struggle with depression or bouts of anxiety, build up your emotional toolkit. Use the tool of self-compassion to treat yourself with the same loving kindness you would extend to a friend. Silence that inner critic and give yourself a soft place to land when things don’t go right or you are working through a challenging experience. Fill up your mind with kind thoughts about yourself. 4. Improve your conversations One of the most powerful skills you can practice is empathy. We show empathy by asking questions to better understand the person we’re talking with. When we hear our conversation partner expressing complex emotions, we might summarize or repeat what they’ve said back to them to show that we are listening with empathy. 5. Exercise to get these unique benefits Scientific research has shown there are countless connections between mind and body; to simplify a complicated process: exercise boosts dopamine and other chemicals in the brain that make us feel happier. Find an exercise you love and set a goal (run a 5K, walk 10,000 steps in a day, or go to yoga twice a week). When we have a specific goal, we are engaged with life and excited about our progress and our future. 6. Get happier at work Make your workday happier by brainstorming new solutions for a work challenge in the morning when your mind is fresh. Sit down with your coffee or tea and spend 10 minutes thinking up as many ideas, solutions and possible outcomes to a problem or opportunity your team is facing. Then share the best three ideas with another team member. 7. Play Research from the National Institute for Play shows that putting playtime back in our routines can boost creativity, reduce stress, increase brain function and even improve our relationships with others. Wake up your inner child and play—roll down a hill, play a board game with your family, jump rope or do a cartwheel. 8. Smile By smiling more often, you will make others around you feel better and you will feel better too, creating a reverberating circle of well-being. 9. Win the war against worry Author Erma Bombeck once wrote, “Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but never gets you anywhere.” Karen Cassiday, Ph.D., president of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, agrees, saying that worry is simply a fear of uncertainty. Keep a journal of your worries in order to keep them under control; in addition Karen recommends meditating, relaxing and downloading this free app. 10. Build up your resilience Surf champion Bethany Hamilton no longer views the shark attack that caused the loss of her arm as a negative in the scheme of her life. Instead, she practices resilience and fortitude by dwelling on all the positives that have resulted from it. Search for the silver lining and find the positives when you are facing adversity to become a more resilient person. Sandra Bienkowski is a contributing editor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.
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Birth of a Book

As those of us here on the Live Happy staff know very well, there are loads of books about happiness on the shelves. So what makes Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy, special? We sat with our own editorial director, Deborah K. Heisz, to find out what sets this new book apart and what makes it a compelling read. LIVE HAPPY: Deborah, what made you decide we needed to create this book? DEBORAH K. HEISZ: As you said, bookshelves are full of books about happiness, and since I read them all—or try to, anyway—I noticed they fell into three distinct camps. One kind of happiness book is written by positive psychologists and is often targeted to the scientific community. Another kind of book is someone’s personal reflections on happiness, and the third type is written for businesspeople. We realized there was a huge gap that needed to be filled. There was no book that distilled the science on happiness—the results coming from the research of positive psychologists—for the average consumer and provide examples of people putting them into action. Doing that is the mission of this magazine and it was also the driving mission behind the book. LH: What do you think is the most common misperception people have about happiness? DH: Most people have the basic recipe for happiness exactly backward. They think that if only they had the right relationship, the right job, the right amount of money in the bank, then they would be happy. Yet happier people are more likely to attain success of all kinds. Happy people are the ones who have good relationships. Happy people get better jobs and make more money than unhappy people do. So you don't have to wait to be happy. My hope is that this book provides you with the tools to create happiness now. LH: The book’s subtitle says there are 10 practices for choosing joy. What are those practices? And why do you say that joy is something we can choose, since life can throw us all curveballs? DH: Happiness is a choice and something we can work on and increase all our lives. The wonderful thing is that so many aspects of our lives can bring us happiness. We just have to take the steps. We have to commit to the journey. The 10 practices that science shows us can lead to a happier life are these: a positive attitude, deep connections with other people, a sense our lives have meaning, creativity, gratitude, mindfulness, health, resilience, spirituality and giving back. Realizing that there are 10 things that contribute to joy means we all have an opportunity to become happier. Maybe you already take good care of your health and have a wonderfully positive attitude, but you realize you could develop your spirituality and resilience more. Or maybe you get stuck thinking about the past too much and you realize that becoming more mindful could hugely increase your well-being. And today there are so many people who have all the trappings of success, but they feel hollow inside—and they need to find a life of meaning that’s congruent with who they are. Identifying the practices we can work on is how we choose joy. LH: You also included 40 stories about people who used these practices to increase happiness. Why? DH: It’s one thing to learn the scientific facts about happiness, and another thing altogether to see how those facts play out in real people’s lives. Yes, we can conduct scientific research on happiness, but the insights take on much more power and are more memorable when we see how they truly impact people. LH: Were there particular stories that stood out for you? DH: There are so many stories in the book I will never forget. Some of them taught me practices that have made my life better…exercises in positive thinking and gratitude, for example. Some of them totally made my day, like the story of the Flennikens, who adopted a daughter and, 10 years later, a baby boy. Then just a few months later, they learned their son Zach’s two older brothers, ages 2 and 3, needed a home. Not only did the Flennikens take in both boys, months later they opened their hearts and home to his older sister. Within a year, their family went from three to seven! And, the dad told us, “We feel blessed beyond belief.” Then there were the stories that made me cry, stories of people who have been through the most awful tragedies I could ever imagine who somehow found their way back to happiness. I’m thinking in particular about Celeste Peterson, whose only child, Erin, was killed in the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007. Her daughter was her greatest joy, her greatest accomplishment as an at-home mom. Yet she found a way to make something good out of what happened by creating a nonprofit and using her motherly love to make a real difference in the lives of at-risk boys, including one her daughter had befriended. Those stories awe me. They show me how strong the human spirit is. They have changed me in a profound way. LH: Some of the stories are from celebrities. Why did you decide to include their stories in the book? DH: Just 10 of the 40 stories are from celebrities; the others are from regular people. The really interesting thing is, the celebrity stories aren’t any different from the others. We all have our struggles in life. We all need the same things to be happy—love, a sense our lives have meaning, the resilience to bounce back from setbacks. The journey to happiness seems to be a great equalizer. LH: What was the most important thing you learned from the book? DH: Anyone, regardless of what has happened to him or her, can find deep and lasting happiness. The science tells our brains that it’s true. But the stories go straight to our hearts. They are what really convince us that happiness is possible, no matter what. Order your copy of Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy now to get a special package of happiness gifts.
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Win a Happiness Makeover Worth up to $3,000!

If you’re following our 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, you might be wondering how you can experience the same incredible one-on-one expert coaching that has transformed the lives of Live Happy staffers Donna, Kim, Chris, Susan and Shelley. Here’s your chance! Our extraordinary team of coaches has agreed to give two Live Happy readers an intensive, three-month “happiness makeover” with the coach of their choice. Each makeover has a value of approximately $3,000, and you can win one simply by telling us—in 300 words or fewer—how you believe you’d be happier if you overcame an obstacle related to anxiety, goal setting, sleep problems, communicating with another person or difficulty unplugging from work. Your essay must reach us at editor@livehappy.com by March 31, 2016 (see the complete contest rules here). If you’re struggling with anxiety: Choose Karen Cassiday, Ph.D., president of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and managing director of the Anxiety Treatment Center of Greater Chicago. Your coaching will include: 10 coaching sessions, up to 60 minutes each, by phone or Skype. Email contact in between as needed. Handouts relevant to your coaching (provided by email). Recommendations of books and other media. If you would like to improve communications with a loved one or a coworker: Choose Michele Gravelle, executive coach, communications expert and consultant with The Triad Consulting Group. Your coaching will include: A total of six one-hour coaching calls over a period of three months. Worksheets to be used in preparing for high-stakes conversations. Summary document of key tools that can be used to improve your personal communication skills. Autographed copy of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Doug Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen. Autographed copy of Thanks for the Feedback by Doug Stone and Sheila Heen. If you are plagued by poor sleep: Choose Michael Breus, Ph.D., a board-certified sleep specialist in Los Angeles and best-selling author of Good Night: The Sleep Doctor's 4-week Program to Better Sleep and Better Health and The Sleep Doctor’s Diet Plan: Lose Weight Through Better Sleep. Your coaching will include Initial 50-minute consultation by phone or Skype. Review of weekly sleep diary. Review of specialized questionnaire designed to identify cognitive misperceptions around sleep. Sleep “prescription,” including changes in sleep hygiene and, if appropriate, sleep restriction and relaxation training. Weekly check-ins by email or phone with appropriate adjustments to sleep program. Signed copy of The Sleep Doctor’s Diet Plan. If you’d like to identify goals and map out a plan to achieve them: Choose Caroline Miller, MAPP, a professional coach, author, speaker and educator. Her book, Creating Your Best Life, is the first evidence-based book to connect the science of happiness with the science of goal setting. Caroline gave an acclaimed TEDx talk on grit in 2014, a topic she will cover in her upcoming book, Authentic Grit. Your coaching will include: Nine 1-hour coaching calls spread out over three months. An evaluation of your signature “VIA Character Strengths” survey. Guidance through evidence-based activities to clarify goals and the path to pursue them with the greatest chance of achieving success. These activities include “Best Possible Future Self” and “Me at My Best.” If you’d like to learn how to unplug from your digital devices and bring greater ease into your life: Choose Christine Carter, Ph.D., sociologist and senior fellow at University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and author of The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work. Your coaching will include: 12 weekly 50-minute coaching calls by phone or Skype over the course of four months. Accountability check-ins by email. Intensive problem solving by email or phone to resolve issues as they arise. Unfortunately you can only choose just one coach (we know; they’re all amazing). Good luck—and enter today: editor@livehappy.com.
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Achieving Harmonious Passion with James and Suzie Pawelski

Suzie Pileggi Pawelski is a contributing editor for Live Happy magazine as well as wellness counselor specializing in the science of happiness and its effects on health and relationships. Her 2010 Scientific American Mind cover story "The Happy Couple" was selected by the magazine as one of its most intriguing articles of recent years. James Pawelski, Ph.D., is Director of Education and Senior Scholar in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. For the last ten years, he has served as the founding director of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program, the world's first degree program in positive psychology. He is also the founding director of the International Positive Psychology Association. Live Happy co-founder and Editorial Director Deborah K. Heisz talks with James and Suzie about achieving harmonious passion in your personal relationships. What you'll learn in this podcast: Understanding the psychological concept of passion and how it differs from popular culture The difference between healthy (harmonious) and unhealthy (obsessive) passion How to cultivate a healthy passion in our daily lives Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Visit JamesPawelski.com Visit SuzannPileggi.com Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!
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Do the Anxiety Detox

As we continue with 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, anxiety expert Karen Cassiday, Ph.D., addresses the most common issues that come up in the middle of a worry detox. It is easy to start a journey and easy to finish once you are close to the end. The difficult part is what happens in the middle when you’ve lost your initial enthusiasm but are not in sight of your final goal. The pitfall of overconfidence This middle zone is challenging for several reasons: If you experienced some initial success, you might have gotten overconfident and stopped doing the very behaviors that led to that success. For example, if you were following my six steps for overcoming worry, you probably started feeling better. Then you may have decided that you no longer needed to keep track of your thoughts, avoid reassurance-seeking or attempt worry exposure. Big mistake! Remind yourself that the best way to keep worry in check is to turn the skills you’ve learned so far into part of your daily mental hygiene. Too busy to stop worrying I have really enjoyed working with Live Happy art director Kim Baker. Kim explained how her hectic life has occasionally kept her from strictly adhering to the worry detox. This offers a great illustration of something else that gets in the way of worry management skills when we are in the middle zone: Kim has gotten caught up in the tyranny of the urgent—when work deadlines, family matters and other immediate needs take precedence over what might, in the long run, be most important, learning to conquer anxiety. Kim has great intentions to overcome her anxieties, but sometimes convinces herself in a busy moment that it is better to manage the little details and to spend her energy trying to get everything done in an ideal way than to slow down and identify what real problems need to be solved. Double the worry, double the stress When you worry you inevitably end up doing two things at once: the task you intended to do and the task of thinking about all the things that could go wrong. You double the effort it takes to live each moment while guaranteeing an unnecessary focus upon disaster. Worry and reassurance-seeking make you feel as though you are avoiding potential disaster when in fact you are being taken away from fully living in the present and fully meeting the demands of the present, regardless of whether it is a pleasurable moment or a tragic moment. Lastly, science shows us that it takes one to two years to change a habit into an automatic behavior. Be prepared for recovery to take time, to involve some slips and ultimately to be well worth the effort. To see Karen's recommendations in action, read coaching subject Kim Baker's blog here. Listen to Karen discuss How to Manage Negative Thinking on our podcast, Live Happy Now. Karen Cassiday, Ph.D., is president of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and a leading expert on the treatment of anxiety.
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The Happiness Track with Emma ​Seppälä

Emma Seppälä is Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education as well as the author of The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success. Her areas of research include positive organizational psychology, health psychology, cultural psychology, well-being and resilience. In this episode Live Happy COO, Co-Founder and Editorial Director Deborah Heisz talks with Emma about what happiness is according to science and the ability to bounce back from difficulties in life. What you'll learn in this podcast: The science of happiness The link between resilience and long-term success The importance of self-compassion Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Purchase a copy of The Happiness Track Find Emma on Facebook Follow Emma on Twitter Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!
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