Couple lying on grass with phones.

60 Seconds to Happiness

Vin called in during the taping of my new radio series, 60 Seconds to Happiness. His problem: He feels jealous each time he looks at his Instagram feed because staring back at him are pictures his girlfriend posts while she is out having fun and he is stuck at work. The pictures typically show her goofing off at a bar with her girlfriends, but sometimes also with guys whom Vin doesn’t know. Even though he trusts her, he feels a twinge in the pit of his stomach and doesn’t know what to do. My radio series promises to help people make 1-minute habit changes that will increase happiness. Interestingly, an overwhelming percentage of callers needed help with their social media habits, including feeling down after even just a few minutes on Facebook or spending more time online than they have to spare. I turned to the research for answers as our understanding of social media is changing so rapidly. Hundreds of studies assess our relationships with sites like Facebook and Snapchat and specifically which habits predict greater happiness both online and offline. A former University of Pennsylvania research colleague who is now a senior lecturer at the University of Melbourne, Margaret Kern, Ph.D., led a meta-analysis of the 70 best studies and found a handful of clear themes. I’ve included questions after each big idea and offer a strategy for you to try. 1. Social media is not a mood booster. Not one study found that significant use decreased depression and anxiety. For those battling depression and anxiety, which globally is 4.7 percent and 7.3 percent of people, respectively, turning to social media to feel better doesn’t work. Eight studies found that social media use is directly linked to depression, while 16 others found a nonsignificant connection. If you are feeling lousy, social media can expose you to experiences that make you feel even worse, such as negative news, cyberbullying or an overload from other people’s highlight reels. Ask yourself: When you’re feeling down, do you get on social media to try to make yourself feel better and does that work for you? If not, is there an offline activity that might be better, like going for a walk outside or calling a friend? Take a break: Get off social media for one week. Do it! It’s rejuvenating. Now that it’s summer, go out into the world and make memories. Take pictures. Experience life. The upside is that this will most likely give you more interesting, meaningful things to share with friends when you’re back online. Read more: Is Everyone Having Fun Without Me? 2. Social comparison is toxic. Whether you envy celebrities’ awesome lives or judge someone who gets fewer “likes” than you, social comparison creates real misery and false happiness. According to the meta-analysis, social comparison is a big risk factor for depression and anxiety. One study found that more frequent negative social comparisons on Facebook were connected to an increase in rumination. This makes sense since comparing ourselves to others can fan the flames of rumination. Ask yourself: Do you engage in social comparison? If so, is it often with the same people? Clean your feed: Hide people who post negative news so you can make social media a happier place. You can get your news elsewhere. And hide people whom you compare yourself to like celebrities or that always-perfect neighborhood mom. Stop torturing yourself! Let your feed bring you joy, not pain. Setting yourself up for success is a form of self-love. Listen to our podcast, Positive Communication With Michelle Gielan 3. Happy people connect. Using social media is associated with lower levels of loneliness and greater feelings of social connectedness, as well as higher levels of life satisfaction and self-esteem. This doesn’t necessarily mean that using social media makes you happier, but that people who have high levels of happiness and self-esteem also typically use social media as an additional form of connection. Social connection is one of the greatest predictors of happiness we have from our research, so the more we can create it, the better off that makes us. Ask yourself: Do you use social media to deepen friendships? Do you make meaningful comments on friends’ pictures and posts? Do you share pictures and posts instead of merely reading other people’s posts? Connect meaningfully: Use social media to meaningfully connect with your friends by sharing pieces of your life and thoughtfully responding to theirs. Liking everyone’s pictures in your feed doesn’t count. I’m trying to follow these guidelines, too. When I do log on, I try to make it count by making a point to really connect with people I care about. Read more: Let Technology Life Your Life Vin agreed to stay off social media those nights he was away from his girlfriend. He also told her how he felt. Her response was incredible. She replied that while she looked like she was having a blast, she also missed him. Just hearing that made him feel so much better. And guess how long he said the conversation took? You guessed it…just 60 seconds to happiness! Join me @MichelleGielan on social media, where I share happiness resources, including where to listen to our new radio series, 60 Seconds to Happiness! SHAWN ACHOR is best-selling author of the The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness. Shawn’s TED Talk is one of the most popular ever, with more than 5 million views, and his PBS program has been seen by millions. Learn more about Shawn at Goodthinkinc.com. MICHELLE GIELAN is an expert on the science of positive communication and the author of the book Broadcasting Happiness. Formerly a national anchor for CBS News, Michelle holds a masters of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Learn more at Goodthinkinc.com.
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Two kids riding go-karts.

Your Summer Adventure Starts With Our July Issue

It’s that time of year when the neighborhood kids celebrate the last day of school by heading to the pool, making those of us still tied to our day jobs antsy for some fun and adventure. Haven’t started planning yet? Not to worry, Live Happy has you covered with our July issue, on newsstands today, with at least 51 ways to live it up this summer and a featured cover story on comedian Jim Gaffigan. Awash in toys and gearing up for Father’s Day, Jim shares his two missions in life: empowering his five kids to chase their dreams while following his own path to happiness on- and off-stage. Read what happened behind the scenes at our photo shoot. “Jim Gaffigan embodies the theme of this issue because he shares in this zest for adventure when it comes to his family and being onstage,” says Deborah K. Heisz, Live Happy editorial director, CEO and co-founder. “I’m especially inspired by his decision to tour internationally with his family so they can experience new cultures together.” While a world comedy tour isn’t in the cards for most of us, a fun-filled summer day can be as close as 10 minutes away. Our feature, “Well-Being Is a Walk in the Park,” notes that exercising outdoors is strongly associated with positive mental health. Not only that, but neighborhoods with parks report increased interaction among residents, which adds to stronger bonds and life satisfaction. If you’re ready to go all in, consider booking a stay at an adult sleep-away camp. In “Happy Campers,” read about the trend of new adult summer camps where adults have the chance to relax, enjoy nature and have a truly transformative experience. Find our top 20 picks in this resource guide. Other highlights include: Embracing Awe—Once seen as a “luxury handbag of emotions,” the experience of “awe” is now proving its significance to researchers and offers multiple benefits for the mind, body and spirit. Learn more about the science and explore its pathway to well-being in your life. Wonder Bound—Read about five awe-inspiring destinations, ranging from far corners of the world to hidden gems not far from your backyard, to make your travel dreams a reality. Hanging in the Outdoors—Looking for an outdoor adventure but don’t know where to start? Check out our fun camping and travel products—including a double sleeping bag and a water bike—before you hit the road. Pick up a copy of Live Happy today and send us a photo of you enjoying your summer adventure with #livehappy as your guide. Tag us @livehappy on Twitter or @mylivehappy on Instagram or email editor@livehappy.com.
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Two young women eating cotton candy.

13 Easy Ways to Boost Your Well-Being

It is always a good idea to give yourself a mental tuneup to help ward off any blue moods. In honor of Mental Health Month, here are a few ideas to help you keep your mind motoring toward happiness. 1. Attitude matters A bad attitude can have adverse effects on your physical health. According to the organization Mental Health of America, people with a positive attitude outlive their grumpy peers over a 30-year period. A few ways to stay optimistic: stop ruminating over the past, don’t worry so much about the future and express a lot of gratitude. 2. The less stress the better Too much stress hurts. And when you have too much for too long, it can even be deadly. Mithu Storoni, Ph.D., author of Stress-Proof: The Scientific Solution to Building a Resilient Brain and Life, writes that when the mind is in an “optimal state” it can fight off stress easier, bolstering the immune system and slowing the effects of disease. Breathing techniques and simple meditations can be quick antidotes to stress when you find yourself a little frayed. 3. Get out and move Sedentary lifestyles can have real consequences on physical and mental health, including increased risks of stroke, heart attacks, cognitive decline and depressed moods. According to the Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, more than 80 percent of U.S. adults and adolescents do not meet the guidelines for aerobic and muscle-strengthening activities. If you can’t seem to part with electronic devices that keep you in your chair, find an app to help you get moving. A recent study from Duke Health found that the mobile game Pokémon Go encouraged millions to get up and walk. Participants were twice as likely to reach their 10,000-step goal when playing the game. 4. Good food is brain food Eating healthier is a no-brainer when it comes to good physical health, but it is also great for your brain. According to a recent Gallup Poll, U.S. adults who reported eating healthy in the recent past are 34.1 percent less likely to have depression. Drew Ramsey, psychiatrist, farmer and author of Fifty Shades of Kale and The Happiness Diet says that eating the right foods, including nuts, beans and seafood, can actually boost your mood. 5. Forgive to flourish “It is very difficult to be happy when one is complaining about the past. It is very hard to be happy when we experience ourselves as helpless victims of fate or another person. Forgiveness provides us the evidence that we can cope with life’s difficulties so we don’t have to live afraid and constricted.” —Fred Luskin, Ph.D. 6. Sleep your worries away Improving sleep habits is a great way to care for your emotional and mental health. The National Sleep Foundation estimates that 35 percent of Americans aren’t getting quality sleep. Researchers from the University of Warwick in the U.K. say quality sleep is more important to improving health and happiness than the quantity of Z’s. They equate the feeling we get after a good night’s sleep to that of “winning the lottery.” 7. Laugh often “Laughter is the verbalization of happiness,” says comedian and happiness expert Yakov Smirnoff. “So if it’s a healthy laugh, not nervous laughter, but a healthy, mirthful laugh, it is triggered by humor.” For more, check out our podcast with Yakov. 8. Be excellent to each other Studies show that when people engage in acts of kindness, they experience positive emotions that lead to a release of oxytocin (the love hormone) in the body. Kindness has also been associated with a reduction in symptoms of depression and anxiety. 9. Don’t forget to love yourself “Our mind state is constantly affecting the mind state of others. If we are grumpy and irritable, the people around us are grumpy and irritable. We feed on each other’s emotions. So when you start practicing self-compassion, other people pick up on that and the more you are in this calm, kind, connected place, the more the people around you feel that way, too.” —Kristin Neff, Ph.D, author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. 10. Practice makes perfect “Whatever we water and cultivate conscientiously thrives and blooms in a regular garden….Bring to mind gratitude and other positive emotions often, and soon they will grow and take over the garden of your heart.”—Joseph Emet, author of Finding the Blue Sky: A Mindful Approach to Choosing Happiness Here and Now. 11. Stay away from all work and no play Danes take their free time very seriously. Malene Rydahl writes in Happy as a Dane: 10 Secrets of the Happiest People in the World, that the Danes dedicate nearly 70 percent of each day to personal activities and spending time with friends and family. It’s this kind of attitude that makes Denmark one of the happiest countries in the world, according to the World Happiness Reports. 12. Slow down “In today’s busy world, our mind is continuously active, jumping from one item to the next at a dizzying speed. Not only is this behavior exhausting, but it can impair how well we attend to any of the tasks at hand. Indeed, much of what crosses our paths does not require our attention or care, but it nonetheless consumes space in our consciousness. Over time, the background noise becomes a normal state, and we lose track of it—falling deeper into a state of mental fatigue, in turn limiting our ability to process important events and emotions. To counteract the deleterious effects of the noise, we need to refocus our attention on a smaller number of subjects. The practice of mindfulness does just that.” —Dr. Michael Finkelstein, internal medicine and holistic physician and author of Slow Medicine: Hope and Healing for Chronic Illness. 13. Savor the flavor “When we can fully engage with our lives, we are happier, less stressed and more grateful. In addition, we’re more likely to remember and recall the calm, peaceful and joyful times, which can help sustain us through the more difficult ones. We don’t have to wait for sunsets on the beach or fancy weddings; we can practice savoring the smaller moments that happen on a daily basis, such as drinking a hot cup of coffee, snuggling our children or eating dinner with a friend.” —Carla Naumburg, Ph.D., author of Ready, Set, Breathe: Practicing Mindfulness with Your Children for Fewer Meltdowns and a More Peaceful Family. Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Live Happy's Ideas to Recharge on Mother's Day

7 Ways to Recharge This Mother’s Day

Being a mom is truly an incredible, life-changing experience. It is also a job—one that requires a wide variety of skills. At different times, we moms are required to be doctors, teachers, mediators, chefs, bookkeepers, housekeepers, costume designers, make-up artists, jugglers and more! We need to deal with what's happening in the moment while also planning for the future. We meet many of the wants and needs of our partners, friends and even our community. On top of all that, many of us have to earn an income or even support our families. While many women might feel like they might buckle under the pressure, most of us just say we’ve “got it” and do all we can to take care of what comes with the job. Some of us get so consumed by the demands of our children and families that we are left exhausted and even depleted. In my role as a therapist, I have spoken to many mothers who tell me they are so busy focusing on everyone else that they have forgotten their own needs. Take care of yourself, too This Mother’s Day, why not give yourself a gift, and choose this celebratory moment to commit to taking better care of yourself? I have suggested this idea to a few moms I know, and while many welcomed the idea, I’ve also gotten looks of concern and resistance. Some women feel a sense of obligation or guilt when it comes to taking care of their families, almost as if self-sacrifice is part of the job description once we become mothers. While I do believe it is normal for mothers to make sacrifices, I also think it’s imperative we realize there is a line between sacrifice and suffering. Sadly, many moms I talk to are suffering because they are not getting their needs met. This is not healthy, and there is nothing to feel ashamed of when it comes to practicing self-care. Replenish your energy There is a big difference between self-care and selfishness. Self-care involves taking moments to assess how you're doing and engaging in practices that nurture your emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual well-being. Taking time to replenish your energy does not mean you have “excessive or exclusive concern with oneself,” which is how Merriam-Webster’s defines selfishness. Being a mother means putting others’ needs ahead of your own—most of the time. We are so busy taking care of kids that we forget to properly take care of ourselves. Here are some tips to help recharge your energy before you burn out or reach an emotional low-point: 1. Keep something in the tank When the mother suffers, the children suffer. If we are depleted, we have little or nothing left to give. Keep this in mind when you think about self-care. 2. Put it on the calendar Schedule “mommy time” on your  to-do list. Bubble baths, long walks, dinner out with mom friends (don't only talk about the kids at these!) are all great ways to recharge. If we don't plan for fun and relaxation, it may not happen. 3. Phone a friend Build a support system that can cover you when you are in a jam. We all need friends who can pick up the kids, loan a cup of sugar, help with a project, etc., when we are in a bind. 4. Find fun Domestic life can feel routine. Remember what activities you enjoyed as a kid. Find times to laugh with friends as well as your family. It relieves stress and lifts your mood. 5. Draw the line Establish healthy boundaries. Set limits on your time; create rules for the family to follow that will make your life easier; learn to say no. 6. Mom is not your doormat (chauffeur, chef, maid, etc.) If people see that they can take advantage of you with no repercussions, they will. If your family knows you will stay up all night to finish their last-minute projects, they will think nothing of handing you their night-before homework the next time. 7. Be well Develop healthy physical and emotional habits. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food and make time to exercise. Monitor your emotional and spiritual self on a regular basis, and deal with negative feelings as they arise. Listen to our podcast: The Perfect Parent, with Stacy Kaiser Read more from Stacy: Know When to Intervene With Your Teen and 4 Tips to Raise High-Achieving Kids Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know and an editor at large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.
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Man on vacation at the beach.

5 Reasons You Need a Vacation

Matthew Brum doesn't run from his problems, he takes them to the beach for a vacation. “Whenever I need a break from the everyday grind, I travel,” says the 29-year-old director of digital strategy and social media for Nashville’s Big Machine Label Group. “Even if it’s just a long weekend, it refreshes my state of mind, gives me clarity and inspiration. Traveling always refreshes my soul.” It’s not just Matthew's imagination. Research shows that travel is as good for the brain as it is for the body, and it can make you happier and more productive when you return to work. In her book, The Happy Traveler: Unpacking the Secrets of Better Vacations, happiness researcher (and avid traveler) Jaime Kurtz, Ph.D., looks at how travel can boost happiness and how we can get more of its benefits. Travel, she says, presents us with a “book-ended period of time” in which we experience a full range of highs and lows. That includes the exhaustion and exuberance of travel, the loneliness and newly discovered shared connections found among strangers, and the cultural missteps and deeper understanding of the world around us. “It’s all there, and many of us consider that full range of experiences to be essential for a well-lived life,” Jaime says. Go more, grow more Matthew, who grew up in a family that loves to travel, has visited Portugal, France, Spain, Nicaragua, England and Italy. He’s also done plenty of domestic travel, and usually there’s a beach involved. He says each trip has helped shape who he is and how he sees the world. “If I wasn’t able to see so many parts of the world, my brain and imagination wouldn’t be as colorful as they are,” he says. “I travel three to seven times a year, even if it’s just a short trip.” He says traveling has opened his mind to other cultures and helped him find friends in far-flung places. It also has encouraged him to take chances and follow his dreams. “I’m a dreamer, and when I experience something new and different, it inspires me. I believe travel has expanded my horizons in both my personal and professional life tremendously.” Matthew certainly isn’t alone in his globe-trotting ways: 99 percent of baby boomers are planning to take a trip this year, and millennials are on track to outpace all previous generations when it comes to travel. While they may not realize it, all that travel is doing more than giving them brag-worthy Instagram photos. Five things travel can do for you: 1. It teaches you to savor the moment Traveling forces you to unplug from your daily world and take in new sights, sounds and smells. These moments of awe require you to experience them in real time. 2. It makes you more creative Research shows that students who experience other cultures are better problem-solvers, are more interested in their studies and exhibit greater creativity. Much of this is attributed to the fact that traveling can help you see the world differently and open your mind to multiple solutions. 3. It makes you a better worker For most of us, work is the one thing we most need a vacation from, but it’s also the reason many of us postpone or ignore vacations. According to the coalition Project: Time Off, some 658 million vacation days go unused every year in America alone. But vacations are crucial for letting your brain rest, and that helps you see things differently. Project: Time Off also reports that small-business owners who take a vacation say their job performance increases upon their return, and managers say employees improve both focus and creativity when they take time away. If you need more reasons to plan a vacation, consider this: workers who use all of their vacation time are 6.5 percent more likely to get a raise or promotion than those who leave 11 or more vacation days on the table. 4. It can help improve your health Mental health and physical health are inextricably linked, and a 2014 study from the Global Coalition on Aging looked at the social, cognitive and physical benefits of travel. Among its findings? People who skip annual vacations were more likely to have heart attacks; women who traveled at least twice a year were less likely to have heart attacks than those who traveled every six years or less. 5. It makes you happier Even before you take a trip, you’re planning what you’ll do, where you’ll go, what you’ll see. (That’s called “anticipatory savoring.”) Jaime cites a recent study from the Netherlands, which found travelers were actually happier before they left for a trip than during or after the trip. “You can use that time to build more happiness and anticipation in your life,” Jaime says, adding that being aware of it can help you maximize its effects. And, once you’re back home, taking time to reflect on the experience and recall your favorite moments will help prolong the beneficial effects of your travel. “Experiences just get better with memory. As you tell those stories, or look back at the photos, they just get richer and more valuable,” she says. “Souvenirs get old or dusty or broken, but experiences live on.” Listen to our podcast: The Happiest People on the Planet, With Linda Swain Read more: Tripped Up or 5 Tips for an Energy-Boosting Vacation Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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Man meditating on a mountain.

Jack Kornfield Finds Freedom in the Moment

Jack Kornfield says he’s never seen a time when people are working so hard to live more fully. But for too many of us, living more fully is synonymous with cramming in more activities or events. As a result, we’re actually missing out on the lives we’re trying to enjoy. “I felt like this was the time to talk about finding freedom where you are,” explains Jack, whose 15th book, No Time Like the Present: Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are, was published May 16. “[People] want to know how to attend to our children, attend to those we love, to our work—but to do it with an open heart and a vast, wide-open spirit.” The best-selling author, and one of the leading teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practices to the West, says, “Living a simpler life is really an invitation to become more fully present,” he explains. “We spend so much time lost in thought, either worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, that we miss out on the moment.” But one day, today will be the past we’re looking back on, and he encourages each person to find the mystery and magic this moment offers. “If we can take a breath, a sort of mindful pause, and say, here I am entering my workplace, or fixing my child’s lunch, or planning my work agenda…if we can take that time to feel our bodies, notice what’s happening out the window, maybe even take a little walk, then we find that we are living in that moment.” Listen to our podcast with Jack Kornfield: Breath by breath Messages from traditional media and social media remind us that we’re missing out, but he says the real “missing out” comes when we’re not living in the present. “Our culture wants us to get more and go more places and do more, buy more—it’s always more, more, more.” The result is that we may be constantly busy but perpetually drained. And, instead of enjoying what we’re doing, we’re thinking about the next thing on our to-do list. “What helps is to understand we’re really not going anywhere,” Jack reminds. “Where we’re going is to be where we are. This [present moment] is God’s gift to us. So it’s not about doing more or getting more, it’s actually being present more.” The mindful pause While mindfulness—or what Jack calls “loving awareness”—can be difficult to master, it is easy to practice, and that’s really all it takes. It begins, he says, by taking two or three loving awareness pauses during the day. “In one minute, you can reset your compass,” he says, explaining that it is as simple as taking three or four breaths and quieting yourself for a moment. “Feel your feet on the ground, be wherever you are, and take those breaths. And then, ask yourself, ‘What is my best intention for this next moment?’ And in that simple pause, your heart will answer.” While this mindful pause will have an immediate effect, slowing down your heart rate, breath and mind, it will also have a longer lasting effect as you begin practicing it more. “There’s a quality of awareness that makes everything go better,” he says. “When you stand still and let the mind quiet just a little, the heart softens, the body is present and your intuition opens. From that, all kinds of possibilities open.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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A winning college baseball team.

How to Win Like an Underdog

Until June 30, 2016, Coastal Carolina University had never won a national championship in any sport. That all changed in Game 3 of the College World Series at Omaha’s TD Ameritrade Park. In the bottom of the ninth inning, pitcher Alex Cunningham struck out Arizona’s Ryan Haug—securing the title win for the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers and giving the first-time College World Series participants the chance to raise the coveted trophy. “I completely blacked out for a solid two-and-a-half minutes,” Alex says. “I saw myself on the interview, and I don’t even remember taking that interview.” His excitement is understandable, especially when you consider that no College World Series team had won the title in its first appearance in the finals in 60 years. “From the day we walked in there, we were kinda playing with house money,” says Gary Gilmore, Chanticleers head coach. “There weren’t a whole lot of expectations by all of the prognosticators—we were big-time underdogs in that whole deal.” Yet Gary and his coaching staff focused on factors outside of others’ expectations. “There are so many things that we can’t control,” Gary says. “The things we can, we want to be in complete control of: things like our preparation, how we do things to get ready for the game—things as simple as what time we go to bed at night. We don’t let the situation become bigger than life to us.” Take the pressure off One way the team maintained focus was simply by relaxing. “I don’t think anyone on our team felt pressure,” Gary says. A big reason for that: Gary discovered a newfound calmness in his coaching career last year, a trait he says came over him once he started reading the Bible every day. “I think the calmer I was, the calmer the team was,” Gary says. “There were several times in the playoffs when we did dumb things, and maybe five or 10 years ago, I would have come in the dugout and slung a helmet, let out some profanity and blown off steam. This time, I’d say, ‘Hey guys, not a problem. We’ll get them the next inning.’ ” After a hard loss in Game 1, Gary remembers praying for the right words to say to his crew. He walked into the locker room and started clapping in front of his bewildered team. “I told them that I was in the locker room of a national champion, and here’s what we’re going to do for the next two days.” Gary relayed who would pitch, who would relieve and what kind of success they were going to have. “I knew I had to make them believe that we could do it. We had lost, but we weren’t out.” And believing, it turns out, made all the difference. “Talent is on a piece of paper,” Gary explains. “We weren’t the most talented team there, but we played the best. I’ve coached one or two other teams that on paper had significantly more talent. And yet this team found a way to make it work.” Root, root, root for the underdog It’s no secret that most people love to pull for the underdog. Countless studies have backed up this phenomenon, including one published in 2007 in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. When 71 participants were asked which imaginary team—one ranked higher than the other—they hoped would prevail in an Olympic swimming event, 75 percent said they preferred to see the lower-ranked team win. “People love to be awed and inspired,” says Caroline Miller, a certified professional coach and author of Creating Your Best Life and Getting Grit. “It’s built into our DNA.” She says the inspiration we feel when we see people outperform themselves causes us to release oxytocin, frequently referred to as the “love hormone”—which makes it easy to see why we get so attached to underdogs. This affinity for the “little guy” extends beyond sports. Southwest Airlines, Apple and even political candidates have gained notoriety and loyal followings due to underdog status. That makes you wonder: What if we could tap into the mindset of underdogs? What enables them to overcome the odds, and how can it be developed? In his 2013 book David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, Malcolm Gladwell explains how we often overlook the advantages that go along with being an underdog. He writes: “It can open doors and create opportunities and educate and enlighten and make possible what might otherwise have seemed unthinkable.” How sweet it is It turns out, we can learn a lot from all types of underdogs—whether we’re talking about a College World Series team or two self-described “hippiedippy” 20-somethings with a love of ice cream and breaking the rules. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield met while running track in seventh grade gym class, the two slowest of the pack—quite fitting for the duo, as their underdog status would follow them into adulthood and eventually be their claim to fame. By the mid-1970s, Jerry had tried unsuccessfully to get into medical school, while Ben had dropped out of college and attempted to become a potter—only no one wanted to buy his pottery. The solution: They liked hanging out, and they liked eating, so they decided to go into the food business together. Their two favorite foods were ice cream and bagels, and since the machinery required for bagel-making came with a much heftier price tag than that of ice cream, the decision was simple. At war with a behemoth In 1978, Ben & Jerry’s first scoop shop opened in Burlington, Vermont, and beloved flavors like Chunky Monkey were born. As their local popularity began to grow, the pair began to package their ice cream into pint containers and sell it to restaurants and mom-and-pop shops. By the early 1980s, they had set their sights on their first major market: Boston. As they approached store owners there, they learned that business representatives from Haagen-Dazs—which sold to the same supermarkets—had issued an ultimatum to store owners: If they agreed to sell Ben and Jerry’s product, then they would not sell them Haagen-Dazs, a major moneymaker for the distributors. Ben and Jerry filed a class action lawsuit against Pillsbury, Haagen-Dazs’ parent company, but drawn-out legal battles weren’t a viable option for the small company. They knew they would run out of financial resources before the more established business. So what’s an underdog to do? “Ben and I learned to use every tool possible as underdogs, and the biggest resource we had was people,” Jerry says. “We didn’t have money. We didn’t have size to leverage. We had the opportunity to use our people to make a difference.” And so they got creative. The company launched the storied “What’s the Doughboy Afraid of?” campaign, taking out signs on buses, designing T-shirts and including an 800-number on the product packaging. Customers who called were treated to an answering machine message of the co-founders explaining the situation. If they left their address, a campaign bumper sticker was mailed to them. Taking their underdog cause to the streets ignited a passionate following, and Pillsbury soon backed down due to public pressure. These days, Ben & Jerry’s, which became a Unilever subsidiary in 2000, operates some 600 scoop shops in 35 countries. The company maintains an independent board of directors to “ensure we’re making the best ice cream possible in the best way possible,” as stated on benjerry.com. “There’s a curiosity that helps when we’re in that underdog mindset,” explains Michelle McQuaid, best-selling author and workplace well-being teacher. “It goes hand-in-hand with the strength of creativity and being willing to try new ways of doing things, rather than accepting that there’s only one path to success.” Also key to an underdog’s success is maintaining that mindset even after finding success. “In terms of what we spend on marketing and sales, there hasn’t been a significant change from when we were a small underdog business,” says Sean Greenwood, the “grand poobah” of public relations for Ben & Jerry’s and a nearly 30-year employee. “That forces us to be creative and keeps pushing us to use that underdog mindset in the marketplace.” Ben and Jerry didn’t fit the mold of your typical businessmen when they launched their ice cream business nearly 40 years ago—and it has made all the difference. “Embrace who you are and make that your strength,” Jerry says. “We wanted to be ice cream ‘for the people,’ and not an elegant treat just for some. Hold on to your beliefs. If you don’t like the way the model is, then think about changing the model to fit who you are.” A growth mindset Everyone has had moments of success—those times when we’ve pulled something off that we’ve been working really hard toward. Our brain is flooded with happy endorphins, and we never want the feeling to end. What we probably don’t realize, though, is that the high we gain from continued wins can be incredibly addictive. An interesting thing happens when we become accustomed to success. “Neurologically, it changes some things in our brain,” Michelle says. “We start to attach our success to our sense of identity. Then we can begin to fear if we’re not the winner, who does that mean we are?” That’s where underdogs have the upper hand, since they’re not burdened with that addiction to success. “The underdog mindset takes the pressure down,” Michelle says. “It changes the way our brains are working chemically, and it opens us up for learning and growth.” Taking the focus off winning and instead turning our attention toward learning and development is what psychologists call having a growth mindset—a key ingredient to an underdog’s success. Underdogs try harder Louisa Jewell, a well-being teacher and founder of the Canadian Positive Psychology Association, says this kind of thinking actually feeds winning behavior. “When you’re an underdog with a growth mindset, you think ‘I don’t have it yet. If I work harder, if I practice more, if I persevere in the face of obstacles, I can get better.’ ” A fixed mindset, on the other hand, leads people to believe they either have it or they don’t—not leaving much room for improvement. “When we have a fixed mindset around our talents, then it doesn’t really propel us into action,” Louisa says. “It doesn’t really motivate us toward behaviors that allow us to work harder and believe that we could one day be the winner.” Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, Ph.D., is a leading researcher on growth mindset. In her research, she discovered that high achievers without a growth mindset eventually plateau and achieve less than they’re capable of because the anxiety tied to their previous successes becomes overwhelming, leading them to stop taking risks. Those with a growth mindset, however, go on to achieve high levels of success in all areas of their lives since they understand that it’s best to keep learning and growing. “It’s not that we don’t love a good outcome when we’re in a growth mindset,” Michelle explains. “We just prioritize the learning over the outcome. The funny thing is, the less we attach to the outcome, the more likely we usually are to get the desired outcome.” According to Caroline, people are often further motivated when they don’t quite get to the finish line the first time around—a concept researchers refer to as the psychology of the near miss, which is a type of failure that comes close to being a success. Take Alex, who before throwing the winning pitch in the 2016 College World Series had lost his high school state championship game three years in a row. “That definitely lit a fire in me that hadn’t gone away until that final pitch of the World Series,” Alex says. Like Alex, those who have authentic grit—another ingredient to an underdog’s success—will be inspired to come back and work harder. Caroline describes authentic grit as the passionate pursuit of hard goals that allows us to take responsible risks and promotes flourishing. “There’s a modicum of failure in everything that we try to achieve,” Gary says. “If you stay with it, every time you get knocked down gives you that much more resilience to come back and fight twice as hard.” Underdogs—and anyone striving for their goals—must also have a strong support system, Gary says. “All of us fail at really anything we try to do in life the majority of the time. We’ve got to have help from above, great friends and great family there to support us.” Don't worry, be happy Studies show us that for athletes to perform at their best, it helps for them to have fun and play in a carefree way. “Carefree doesn’t mean careless or caring less,” says Mike Margolies, chief operating officer of Mental Training Inc. and author of The Athlete Within You. “It means you’re focused on being present.” Think about it this way: Top dogs are usually in a no-win situation. If they win, that was expected. If they don’t, it’s a huge upset. Those in the favored position are under more pressure so they don’t always perform at their best—an advantage to the underdog. “An underdog’s confidence will start to rise because their expectations are pretty low,” Mike explains. “That means they’re going to play at a higher level because they can play carefree.” Winning for the underdog is a bonus, since they don’t face the same scrutiny as the top dog. “It was easy for us to play with confidence because we didn’t have that bar already set for us,” Alex says. “We were just having the time of our lives. There were no expectations to live up to.” Don't forget your 'why' The benefits of having fun aren’t limited to sports. In 1979, one year after being in business, Ben & Jerry’s developed two company philosophies: one focused on giving back to the community, and the second being, “If it’s not fun, why do it?” This importance on having fun is still a huge part of the company’s DNA, but the philosophy was phrased as a question on purpose. The co-founders say there were times with their startup business when 80-hour workweeks were the norm and fun wasn’t always on the agenda. The key is to know why you’re doing it. “You have to have a sense of passion,” Michelle says. “It’s really hard to persist as an underdog if what we’re chasing isn’t meaningful to us, because otherwise falling down just gets too painful for most of us.” Whether it’s launching a business, winning a sports title or achieving the countless other goals that lie within us, we’ve all probably felt at one point like insurmountable odds might get in the way. Luckily, lessons learned from successful underdogs can help guide us on our own paths to success. “If you’re going to be elite, every now and then you’re going to have to be an underdog,” Caroline says. “If you’re an underdog, it means you’re definitely not guaranteed a win—you’re shooting for the moon. Everyone should learn how to do that.” Amanda Gleason writes regularly for Live Happy magazine. Check out her other stories The Birthday Party Project Gives Homeless Kids a Day to Sparkle and Make-a-Wish: Where Science and Hope Meet.
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Live Happy Phone Snubber

Are You a Phone Snubber?

It’s annoying, and we’re both guilty of it. It’s one of the prime ways we—as married happiness researchers—make each other supremely unhappy. See if you can guess what’s going on here: One of us: “Honey, I was thinking tonight maybe we take Leo to dinner at that sushi restaurant. What do you think?” The other: “Huh?” (Silence). (More silence). “You done?” “Yes.” “Honey, I was thinking tonight maybe we take Leo to dinner at that sushi restaurant. What do you think?” “Sounds great.” If you haven’t already guessed, the conversation stopper was a smartphone. While it makes coordinating child care and running our research projects together easier, at times it has also made us feel incredibly disconnected from one another. Checking it when we should be checking in with each other can send signals to our partner whom we love dearly that they are not a priority. Whether it’s looking at the latest scores for fantasy football (Shawn) or lurking the halls of Facebook to get glimpses of friends’ baby pics (Michelle)—those moments when our partner feels we’ve chosen our smartphone over them can damage our relationship. Phone + snubbing = phubbing Researchers have recently given this bad behavior a name: Phubbing (phone + snubbing). Phubbing happens when one person checks a phone, in essence snubbing their partner, when they are supposed to be hanging out together. A study by Brandon McDaniel and Sarah Coyne published in the Psychology of Popular Media Culture found that of the women surveyed who were in a romantic relationship, 62 percent of them said phubbing happened to them daily. As many as 1 in 3 said their partner pulled out the phone during meals together, and 25 percent said their loved one sent text messages or emails to other people while they were having a face-to-face conversation. Phubbing is a natural consequence of an addictive national pastime that has only become more prevalent. The Mobile Mindset Study conducted by mobile security company Lookout found that three out of five smartphone users in the U.S. don’t go more than an hour without checking their phones. Another study found that the average American checks his or her phone every six to seven minutes. I guess we’ve just replaced the famous seven-minute conversation lull with a quick scan of social media to fill the void. Break the phone addiction The fallout of these tiny choices in our relationships is real—often leaving the other person feeling insecure that they are boring or frustrated that they are not getting the attention they want. In the study published in the Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 70 percent of participants said that phubbing harmed their ability to interact with their romantic partners. Marriage and relationship researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., has found that couples with flourishing relationships have a positivity ratio of 5:1, and that a negative event (like being phubbed by your partner, for instance) necessitates five positive interactions to balance it out. Better not to phub in the first place! We decided to turn to our resident expert on technology and happiness, our colleague and Shawn’s sister Amy Blankson, author of the brilliant new book The Future of Happiness, in which she looks at how to leverage technology to be happier in life. She put away her phone, looked us in the eyes, and gave us her advice on concrete action steps to have a positive relationship with our phones and each other. Here is what we learned: 1. Establish tech-free times Pick the times of day when everyone has the highest chances of connecting in person, like car rides or dinner times, and make sure the phones are stashed. For us, the most fun time of the day with our 3-year-old son, Leo, is the morning. Therefore, we’ve made it a rule that he can’t watch any videos before naptime, and we put our phones away, too. This simple shift has significantly increased the number of meaningful moments between the three of us. 2. Ring in the good times Give the babysitter a special ringtone so you don’t have to check every call. Create a sacred space for date nights by getting the phones off the table. A study from the University of Essex found that having a smartphone on the table during a face-to-face conversation reduces feelings of closeness, trust and relationship quality. Use your phone’s ringtones and notifications to your advantage. 3. Tuck it in Don’t bring your phone to bed with you. Tuck it into its own recharging station away from the bedroom. At the launch of our partner Arianna Huffington’s new well-being company Thrive Global, she unveiled the Phone Bed Charging Station, which is a mini bed, complete with satin sheets and a built-in charger. It’s the perfect size for your smartphone. Arianna suggests putting it in the kitchen or living room and buying an old-fashioned alarm clock for the bedroom. For us, being more conscious of our often unconscious behavior of checking our phones is still a work in progress—but paying attention to it has made all the difference. That and the fact that football is not in full swing this time of year! For more on Amy’s new book, see her interview on page 94 in Live Happy magazine. And, for a great way to use technology to start your day right, join us for our (free) Wake Up & Inspire Happiness Video Workshop at broadcastinghappiness.com/happiness. Read more: Let Technology Lift Your Life Listen to our podcast on tech and well-being: The Future of Happiness With Amy Blankson SHAWN ACHOR is best-selling author of the The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness. Shawn’s TED Talk is one of the most popular ever, with more than 5 million views, and his PBS program has been seen by millions. Learn more about Shawn at Goodthinkinc.com. MICHELLE GIELAN is an expert on the science of positive communication and the author of the book Broadcasting Happiness. Formerly a national anchor for CBS News, Michelle holds a masters of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Learn more at Goodthinkinc.com.
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Discovering Your Hidden Potential with Barbara Oakley

Barbara Oakley is a Professor of Engineering at Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan and her work focuses on the complex relationship between neuroscience and social behavior. Her newest book Mindshift: Break Through Obstacles to Learning and Discover Your Hidden Potential is available now and it reveals how we can overcome stereotypes and preconceived ideas about what is possible for us to learn and become. What you'll learn in this podcast: Why the imposter syndrome is actually a good thing How to change your worst traits to your best traits Tips on developing a learning lifestyle Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Read a free excerpt from the book Mindshift Visit BarbaraOakley.com Purchase Mindshift: Break Through Obstacles to Learning and Discover Your Hidden Potential
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Comedian Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Is Bringing Laughter Back

Humor is arguably one of the most infectious character strengths we possess and can have extremely positive benefits to our own well-being as well as to those around us. The Via Institute on Character describes humor as "playfulness" and "bringing smiles to others." Laughter unleashes all kinds of happy stuff into our bodies, like oxytocin. As with any habit, the more we practice, the more our brains accept it and make it a regular part of our lives. “Laughter is the verbalization of happiness,” says comedian and happiness expert Yakov Smirnoff. “So if it’s a healthy laugh, not nervous laughter, but a healthy, mirthful laugh, it is triggered by humor.” Yakov has been a professional comedian since the 1980s. He often played the role of a Russian immigrant mesmerized by modern culture in the United States with one-liners including his popular catch phrase, “What a country!” After spending decades making people laugh, he wanted to find the connection between laughter and happiness, especially as it relates to relationships. He is a recent graduate of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program from the University of Pennsylvania and is working toward his doctorate of education in organizational leadership at Pepperdine University in California. “In the beginning of the relationship, we will do whatever it takes; that’s how we get to be in a relationship. But after that, we relax and stop doing that,” he says. “When happiness dies, that’s when laughter dies.” He believes that couples can use laughter as a canary in a coal mine—an early detector to gauge how the relationship is going. If things aren’t funny anymore, it may be time to take an assessment and see if each other’s needs are being met. “Laughter is the first thing to go. The second is intimacy and the third is your house. In that order,” Yakov jokes. “So if you want to keep your house, keep creating laughter.” Listen to our podcast, Bringing Laughter Back With Yakov Smirnoff. Read Find Your Funny Bone and This is Your Brain on Humor for more on humor. Chris Libby is the section editor for Live Happy magazine.
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