Flourishing Center – content

The Live Happy podcast network is proud to present The Flourishing Center podcast! Take a glimpse into the world of applied positive psychology and enjoy each episode that includes three sections giving you insights and hacks into a living an authentically happy and flourishing life. In the first segment, Science Says, uncover new research in positive psychology and how to apply the science to your life. In the second segment, we showcase a Life Hack which is a proven and practical action you can do today to boost your productivity and wellbeing. In the third segment we enter the Practitioner's Corner where we interview with a guest positive psychology practitioner. Guests include teachers, parents, therapists, entrepreneurs, managers, coaches, doctors, teenagers and others, who have been trained in positive psychology, and are applying the science in unique ways in their unique sectors of the world. Don't miss an episode!The Flourishing Center podcastis available at the following places: Learn more about The Flourishing Center
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Quote about Intention

The Best of Intentions

We have to-do lists (take Benji to the vet; bring the car in for an oil change; complete the PowerPoint presentation). We have goals (run in a Turkey Trot; turn the garage into a workshop; get promoted in the next six months). We may even have a bucket list (deliver a TED Talk; visit every continent on the globe; earn a pilot’s license). But what’s missing for many of us, and may lead to a feeling that our days are being spent in a slapdash way, is intention: a constellation of purpose and values that gives direction and meaning to actions large and small. “I think of intention as the inner compass that sets us on our journey,” says Hugh Byrne, Ph.D., co-founder of the Mindfulness Training Institute of Washington, D.C., and author of The Here-and-Now Habit. “Without clear intentions, we drift, acting out old habits and patterns, like flotsam swept by the water.” Intentions help us channel our energy into what matters most to us, adds Tina Chadda, a Toronto psychiatrist and creator of the Akasha meditation app, which offers mini tutorials on subjects like “the mindfulness of mistakes” and “maintaining flow.” “More loosely, you could say intention is how we address the question, ‘What the heck are we doing with ourselves all day?’” she says. Tina offers an example of how this plays out in real life. “Your intention may be to give your best to the world,” she says. “And, sure, that sounds airy-fairy, but then you break it down, first to a value—I want to be of service to my community and then to a goal: By the end of this month I’m going to volunteer five hours of time to my local homeless shelter.” Intention can imbue with meaning small tasks that would otherwise be annoying (and easy to put off). “For me, I value my well-being and sense of serenity,” Tina says, “and that translates into the goal that by the end of next weekend, I’m going to unpack the boxes in the corner of my office.” You can even be intentional about wasting time, points out Mallika Chopra. Mallika is the founder and CEO of Intent.com, an online community where members support one another in moving from intention to actions. In her book Living With Intent: My Somewhat Messy Journey to Purpose, Peace, and Joy, Mallika describes how she learned to stop chastising herself for playing video games or checking in with friends on Facebook, things she found relaxing and pleasurable and that didn’t take time away  from her other priorities, like sleep. “What if I welcome activities into my life just because they’re fun and feel good?” she mused. “Just thinking about indulging in my ‘bad habits’ free of guilt makes me feel lighter and less stressed.” While goals are focused on future outcomes, intentions are about how we want to show up in our lives in the present. Jamie Price is the Los Angeles-based co-founder of Stop, Breathe & Think, a wellness app that offers brief guided meditations. Eight months pregnant as she chats, she says her overriding intention right now is “to nourish my child with food as well as with what I’m thinking and doing.” One way she fulfills that intention is by taking a nightly walk with her husband. “We’ve been married for five years and it’s easy to take someone’s presence for granted,” she says. “Instead, I’ve been trying to foster a kind, attentive and loving presence with my husband on a daily basis. After dinner we walk through the neighborhood together for 40 minutes, inhaling the smells of rose and jasmine or walking to a cliff above the ocean at sunset. Since I’ve been pregnant, we try to leave the devices at home so we can talk about our day or just hold hands and walk in silence.” How Intentions Help Us Learn and Perform Better When your yoga teacher asks you to set an intention before class, she’s actually inviting you to turn on parts of your brain that wouldn’t be activated if you just went through your sun salutations mindlessly. Intention, it turns out, is not some kumbaya concept; when we engage with intention it actually shows up in brain scans. Neuroscience research has demonstrated that when you watch someone else’s movements or actions with the intention of engaging in that same behavior yourself, neurons in your brain that make up the “action observation network” are stimulated. In one study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, for example, students watched videos of another person putting together or disassembling a Tinkertoy structure. One group of students simply watched the video; another group was told that they’d have to construct that same object a few minutes later. Brain scans showed that students who were watching with intent had more activity occurring in a part of the brain called the intraparietal cortex. Another study, by language researcher and University of Ottawa, Ontario, professor Larry Vandergrift, Ph.D., confirmed the power of listening with intent. Working with undergraduates learning French as a second language, half the students were given guidance in active listening. Before the lesson began, they were instructed to mentally review what they already knew; to form an intention to “listen out for” what was important; to bring their attention back to the words being spoken by their instructor, if it wandered; and to take note of what they didn’t understand without allowing their focus to be undermined. The control group wasn’t given any instructions. The results: The students who listened with attention and intention significantly outscored the less skilled listeners in a test of comprehension. Whether it’s perfecting your eagle pose, your subjunctive French verbs or any other endeavor that’s important to you, engaging with intention will give you a performance boost. And science shows that’s just the beginning of how intentions can change your life. The Neuroscience of Intentions Shifting your perspective from goals to thoughtful intentions just might be the secret sauce in achieving your dreams. That’s according to some fascinating research that’s coming out of science labs, including that of social psychologist Elliot Berkman, Ph.D. Elliot is the director of the Social & Affective Neuroscience Lab at the University of Oregon, and he and his team are studying a field called “motivation neuroscience.” They use neuroimaging tools like functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, to learn how our brains support setting, pursuing and eventually succeeding, or failing, in achieving behavioral changes like smoking cessation and dieting. The field has established that when people are thinking about core values or reflecting on the self, there’s activation of the “self-processing regions” of the brain, including the medial prefrontal cortex. If you can recruit this part of your brain, even difficult activities will seem less effortful, Elliot says, because you’re getting the signal that what you’re doing is the most important thing to you. You’re not paying what both psychologists and economists call an “opportunity cost,” forgoing the rewards you might have reaped if you were doing something else instead. Elliot wants to help people find a way to turn extrinsic goals—something they pursue because of external pressure, like their doctor advising them to lose weight to avoid diabetes—into intrinsic goals, ones they seek because they’re connected to their enduring passions and principles. In other words, Elliot says, identify why resisting that cookie shores up your values and beliefs and—bingo!—you’re in the arena of intention and you’ve ignited those powerful self-processing parts of the brain. “If you can find a way to put your goals into alignment with who you want to be in the broadest sense,” he says, “that will provide powerful and sustainable reinforcement for the changes you want to make.” Elliot calls this alignment “psychic chiropractic,” and he says the most effective way to practice it is through self-affirmations. Studies show that affirming values and beliefs is potent: It boosts self-control, lifts your mood, expands your sense of yourself and your capabilities, offers protection against stress and makes you more open to feedback and to persevering in the face of setbacks. In Elliot’s lab, self-affirmations begin with people choosing the two or three core values that are most important to them from a list of 10 or 12 that might include honesty, loyalty, family, honor, friendship, creativity, courage and love. Then the participants are asked to spend a couple of minutes writing about what each means to them. In an ongoing experiment, Elliot and his team parse these essays into brief snippets, such as, “Family is the most important thing to me.” Those affirmations are then sent to the writers two or three times a day. Here’s how you can apply this science to your life: If you wanted to lose 10 pounds, for example, you might connect with the intention, “I want to be a healthy and active parent,” or “I want to experience life with energy and vigor.” Then, you’d text yourself this avowal before you head out to dinner or the supermarket. (You can schedule texts with apps like TextItLater or Delayd.) Overcoming temptation—whether a molten chocolate pie, staying in bed instead of going to the gym or procrastinating when you have a difficult project to complete—is all about increasing the value of long-term, abstract rewards so they’re greater than the reward in front of you, Elliot says. The tipping point, he adds, is tapping into our “self-concept of who we are and who we want to be.” Intent Alert: Attention Required Staying aligned with our intentions takes effort and vigilance. Elliot uses the word “deliberate” to describe actions that are intentional. “Acting automatically is less costly in terms of energy than acting with deliberation,” he says. “Our brains evolved to be energy conserving, so unless we pay attention, they’ll default to habit and inertia. On a neuroscience level, being intentional is a bottleneck.” One reliable way to break that bottleneck is by maintaining a regular meditation practice. Committing to a daily practice of spending just a few moments in silence, cultivating a contemplative mindset, provides access, Mallika says, to “a deeper well of understanding, insight and awareness.” This heightened self-knowledge can also help you recognize why you feel drained and help you discover what fills you up. In this way, mindfulness functions as an early warning system when you begin to stray from your intentions. Hugh offers an example. A couple of years ago he was in the habit each evening of pouring himself a small glass of Dogfish Head, his favorite beer, and dishing out a scoop or two of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, then chilling in front of the TV. “It wasn’t a large amount of beer or ice cream,” he says, “but after a while it felt like something I was doing by rote, and I began to feel a little neediness and a lack of spaciousness and ease. It was getting in the way of my intention to be fully present and fully at ease.” Hugh now stops watching TV after 10:30 at night, and while he still has an occasional glass of beer or wine, he does so out of conscious choice and not habit. On the other hand, Sam Chase, who co-owns New York City’s Yoga to the People studio, sees no need to abandon his sometime habit of stopping in at a local pinball parlor for an hour of what he admits is “vegging out.” “It’s an immersive experience, and a way to decompress from a hard day, but it’s not high stakes,” Sam says. Bouncing steel balls off the flippers in a pinball game leaves him “recharged.” That sense of replenishment, Tina points out, is evidence that you’re nourishing your intentions. “When you’re using your energy in a healthy way you feel energized,” she says. “When you’re not, you feel depleted and empty.” Get to know yourself through meditation and you’ll easily cue into the difference between the pleasant fatigue that follows, say, an 8-mile run or an afternoon spent building sets for a community theater production, and the lethargy you experience after you’ve camped out on the sofa and aimlessly dawdled away two hours watching infomercials. How to Set Intentions Whether you come to it from a mind-body perspective or the mindset of a scientist, the guidelines on how to set intentions have the same starting point: Devote some quiet time to clarifying what matters most to you. Hugh suggests asking yourself the question: What’s my deepest longing for the world and myself? (The answer for him is “peace, loving relationships and a more compassionate world.”) Next, says Hugh, “identify habits that prevent you from living out these intentions, and commit to take action to change those habits.” Then, begin to align your moment-to-moment thoughts and actions with the qualities you want to cultivate. Ask yourself, Hugh suggests, “Does this thought/ action/response serve happiness? Does it support my deepest aspirations?” Mallika is a big fan of what she calls “microintents”—small steps that, she says, make our day-to-day lives happier and healthier and also help give clarity and momentum to long-term intentions. Mallika’s microintents included starting a book club with some friends and meeting a close pal for walks in nature instead of their usual breakfast or lunch date. “With these small changes, my whole life shifted,” Mallika says. “For me, intentions are soulful. They’re the expression of who we aspire to be physically, emotionally and spiritually. When we ask ourselves, what is going to make me feel happy, more connected, healthy and of purpose, we plant the seeds of what we yearn for in our lives.” Read more about intention: 4 Ways to Live Each Day With Intention Shelley Levitt is a freelance journalist based in Los Angeles and editor at large for Live Happy. Her work has appeared in Real Simple, People, SUCCESS and more.
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Two high school girls studying

Two Books Teach Teens to Be Happier, More Resilient

Is there any time in life when perseverance and self-control are more crucial—and yet less in abundance—than during the teenage years? In adolescence, brains go through changes that can make teens act impulsively. Meanwhile, changes in hormones cause moods and emotions to go haywire. How can positive psychology fit into this chaotic mix to help teens regain a sense of balance and purpose during this confusing time? Two new positive psychology books have recently emerged that are aimed squarely at teenagers—perhaps the people who need it the most. The Grit Guide for Teens by Caren Baruch-Feldman, Ph.D., inspired by Angela Duckworth and her lab’s research on grit at the University of Pennsylvania, translates principles of goal-setting, resilience and living with purpose for the under-20 crowd. Instead of making teens wade through pages of research, stats and tables, the workbook offers quick explanations of concepts followed by hands-on exercises that bring the ideas to life. Molly Dahl’s Youth Positive is also a hands-on workbook, but it addresses many different aspects of positive psychology. Aimed at the high school level—primarily 11th and 12th grades—it is already being used as a teaching tool in many classrooms in Nevada and California. Author’s gritty success Before writing The Grit Guide for Teens, Caren, an energetic school and clinical psychologist in New York, always saw herself as a gritty person. “I had always been very gritty about academics,” she says, “but not in terms of my wellness.” A few years ago, Caren decided to put her own grit to the test. Using a combination of goal-theory, CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and every other bit of willpower and grit research she could get her hands on, she used herself as a grit-and-purpose guinea pig and succeeded in losing 25 pounds. Her greatest asset was “coming from ‘a place of yes.’” Meaning, focusing on the benefits of losing weight as opposed to the deficits of dieting. On her blog, Caren began to write about issues such as, “How do you actually get people to make a goal, stick to a goal, and achieve a goal?” She found it was easier coming from “a place of yes.” As a school psychologist, her first instinct was to bring what she had learned to young people. Changes in the classroom Youth Positive author Molly also was eager to share her findings with students. She was an educator for 15 years who decided to get a certificate in positive psychology from the Wholebeing Institute. “I just started to feed little parts of what I was learning to my students and they loved it,” she says. So during her last two years of teaching, Molly began adding positive psychology into her regular curriculum, “and their scores went up across the board for all of my classes.” Pretty soon students and faculty alike were clamoring for a book. Teens need positive psychology, she says, “because they are so bored in school. They get really interested when someone asks, ‘Tell me the best thing about you.’ All their lights go on.” She believes that giving them tools early on will help them make better life decisions. Caren, author of The Grit Guide, agrees. “I have two teens myself,” she says. “I feel like there is a lot of anxiety for teenagers today; the world feels very competitive and tough. This generation everything feels like everything needs to be immediate and now. The whole idea of waiting for something has been eliminated.” According to Caren, working on grit can help teens develop delayed gratification. “They need help working on the long-term planning and goal-setting part of their brains. This is really important.” How can teens become more gritty? One problem a lot of psychologists have with the concept of grit is that it often seems like it’s something you are either born with, or not. You either eat that marshmallow right away, or you don’t. But Caren sees it differently. Here are the three ways she recommends that teens can develop grit: Mindset: Work on having a positive mindset, being able to see the positive in something. Having a failure is crushing; it doesn’t feel good. But if you can have a positive mindset you can see that failure as part of the journey and not take it personally. Behavior: Let your behavior reflect your goals; your goals should be: long-term, specific, written down, and you should have an accountability partner if you want to achieve them. How do you get people to think more in the long-term? Eating a donut is easy; getting diabetes is a lot harder to imagine. Write down an advantage card (this is Judith Beck’s concept). What are the advantages to this goal? For example, I am going to commit to reading so that my reading score can get higher. Team: Find a supportive group. Gritty people accomplish goals from a sense of purpose, for themselves and for other people. When we surround ourselves with gritty people, we can pick ourselves up when we encounter obstacles. Surround yourself with positive people who support your goals. Schools and parents need to be “grit cheerleaders.” A sports team, extracurricular club, band, etc. can be your team. Learning their own self-worth According to Molly, some of the most important things teens can gain from reading and doing the exercises in Youth Positive are: To find their own self-worth. To know they really matter. So they can walk away knowing how important and valuable they are and the contribution they can make. To do the “ideal self” activity where you write about someone you admire in the third person and then bring it around to talking about yourself. To learn about self-perception theory. This is when we label someone based on how we see them behave, and we label ourselves the same way. We have the kids start watching their own behavior. How many times do you say ‘Thank You.’ Do you yell at your mom when you ask her to do something for you? It builds self-awareness. Though aimed at teens, both books have resources for teachers and parents in the back—and both could also be used by adults who are looking for hands-on lessons in positivity! The Grit Guide for Teens is available at Amazon and wherever books are sold. For more resources, videos featuring teens themselves and information about the book, check out Caren’s website. Order your copy of Youth Positive, find information for teachers and administrators and find more resources and videos on Molly’s website. An edition for middle schoolers is also available. Listen to our podcast: How to Raise Positive and Gritty Teens, With Caren Baruch-Feldman and Molly Dahl Read more: 12 Best Books for Your Positive Psychology Reading List Read more: Does Grit Outweigh Talent? Emily Wise Miller is the Web Editor for Live Happy. Some of her recent articles include 9 Tips to Be Happier Working from Home and 4 Ways to Stay Engaged With Lifelong Learning.
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House of Shine

House of Shine Helps Kids Find Their Life’s Passion

As a lifelong educator, Claudia Beeny, Ph.D., has seen how beneficial it is to take a break from the daily barrage of noise and distraction. “You need quiet,” Claudia says. “Slow down long enough for your head to hear what your heart is saying.” She speaks from personal experience. It was during one of her own breaks that she realized her dream was to start House of Shine, a North Texas-based nonprofit that offers mentoring programs that help women and children find their true passions. She believes once people take this time for self-reflection, they not only improve their lives but the world as a whole. “We all want to know at the end of the day that our life here on Earth mattered,” says Claudia, who spent 23 years working in higher education. Despite her professional success, she felt disconnected from her creative side. So, a decade ago, she started a blog where she shared one creative idea every day. The value she felt from this project ignited the spark that led to the creation of House of Shine. Many of her early insights from the blog are woven into House of Shine’s custom workshops, weekly classroom curriculum and projects such as a DO52 kit that has action words for every week of the year to encourage creativity and nurture self-reflection. People of all ages and backgrounds have been drawn to House of Shine’s workshops, including schoolchildren, grandmothers and stay-at-home moms. “What binds everyone together is the desire to live a full and rich life,” Claudia says. During a typical workshop, Claudia shares personal insights and raises questions about a main topic. For example, one recent theme was happiness. Attendees then had time to reflect, journal and discuss their answers in small groups. It’s this community mentoring that helps make the programs successful, Claudia says. She notes that participants learn as much from each other as they do from experts. “We’re the pause in people’s lives,” she says. “The real work is when they take the time to think about how these concepts matter to them.” Never Too Early Katie Kolkmeier, a college student of Claudia’s long before the nonprofit was formed, continues to benefit from House of Shine’s ideas. Katie says Claudia has always been a natural at mentoring and life coaching. “I feel like I am a product of House of Shine,” Katie says. “My time with Claudia brought out in me what I never knew was there.” After graduating, Katie decided to start working for House of Shine so she could help others have similar life-changing discoveries. Now, as the director of programming, Katie helps write and teach the curriculum used in all grade levels. Most of the students who take the weekly classes are journaling and exploring their talents for the first time. “It gives the students an opportunity to hold a mirror up to themselves,” she says. The curriculum helps students pinpoint their interests and find their innate abilities. Students can choose school assignments, service projects and internships they care about. When kids learn their core values at a young age, they will be set up for success for the rest of their lives, Katie says. One of the most important lessons is “helping people see that things that come to you naturally aren’t meaningless.” Read more: The Path to Purpose Group Effort Even if these concepts sound simple, Claudia has seen how easy it is to get lost in the daily struggle of work and excuses and insecurity. But things can get back on course, she says. “You already know what you need to do to shine,” she says. “Often the question is, ‘Am I listening and acting on what I need to do?’” House of Shine is always seeking volunteers to help with fundraisers, special events and craft projects. Claudia looks forward to continued growth and sees potential in offering curriculum and workshops nationally. “There is a need,” she says. “People want to have this conversation together.” Read more: 4 Ways to Stay Engaged With Lifelong Learning Mary Dunklin is a writer and editor who specializes in family, fitness and travel. Her last article for Live Happy was about yoga's impact on depression.
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Beach sunset.

7 Ways to Beat the End-of-Summer Blues

As summer winds down, so does some of the fun and freedom we enjoy during this time of year. For kids, it’s time to head back to school and activities; for parents, it means supervising homework, making lunches and keeping everyone on a schedule. This transition can cause the blues for children and adults alike. One of the best ways to handle the change is to develop a solid strategy to make things easier and less stressful. Here are seven suggestions to beat the end-of-summer blues: 1. Plan ahead Remember past challenges and think about how to improve in the future. If you have kids, teach them problem-solving by involving them in the planning. Find ways to modify your family’s daily routine, including transitioning to an earlier wake-up time once school starts. Instead of shocking them awake on the first day of school, start implementing earlier bedtimes and earlier wake-up times about a week before school starts, backing up five to ten minutes each night until you reached the correct time. 2. Focus on the positives As the weather grows colder, instead of staring out the window pining for the sun, get cozy in oversized sweaters and cuddle up with your family. Fall and winter provide opportunities to engage in indoor bonding activities such as puzzles, baking and the like. Light a fire, roast marshmallows and teach your kids to make hot chocolate from scratch. Before you know it, holiday festivities will be here, bringing all kinds of cheer. Have fun in the fall by planning your Halloween costumes, begin holiday crafting or even start working on your holiday wish lists. 3. Get the family involved Get together with your whole family to brainstorm fun activities you can do in the coming months. Create a giant calendar and mark off school and work holidays. Then choose dates for fun activities during the fall and winter. Make those activities stand out on your calendar by using bright colors and stickers. 4. Create an end-of-summer tradition Plan a big barbecue with friends and family; spend an end-of-summer weekend away or plan a staycation; plant new flowers in your garden; or clean out closets and donate what you no longer use to those in need. Whatever you decide to do, as long as you enjoy it, commit to doing this same thing every year. Read more: 4 Ways to Navigate Life's Transitions With Ease 5. Make a scrapbook or collage Do an art project with your family that includes photos, ticket stubs and other memories to help document the summer. Put it in a visible place in your home to remind yourself of the fun that you just experienced. (This exercise could also be your end-of-summer ritual!) 6. Work on goal-setting Think intentionally about what each member of your family would like to accomplish or improve on in the coming months. Many people believe that this type of planning is only for January, but setting goals only once a year can increase the pressure on you to complete those goals, and wind up resulting in disappointment. Making seasonal goals is more effective and a great positive activity. 7. Make a fall and winter music playlist Pick out songs to represent the fall and winter holidays or music that evokes feelings of joy for this time of year. You can find spooky songs for Halloween in October, festive tunes to play during Thanksgiving in November, and there is no shortage of holiday favorites to choose from in December. Instead of closing out the summer with the blues, end the season with some proactive and happiness-filled fall and winter to-dos! Read more: 3 Tips for a Low-Stress Start to the School Year Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know and an editor at large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.
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Happy face

Happy News of the Week

Growing Link Between Health and Happiness Top researchers of subjective well-being recently released a comprehensive review on the connection between health and happiness. Based on recent findings, the case is strong enough to encourage health practitioners to add “happiness assessments” when asking patients about their behaviors. Admittedly, the report does call for more research into this area, but the promising results are trending toward happiness playing an important role in our mental and physical health. The Happiest College in America Is… Vanderbilt University has the happiest students in North America, according to The Princeton Review, edging out Rice University, which claimed the title last year. The test-prep outfit’s annual guide The Best 382 Colleges 2018 ranks schools on categories ranging from Best-Run College (University of Richmond), the Most Beautiful Campus (University of San Diego) and Best Campus food (University of Massachusetts-Amherst) based on student surveys. Vanderbilt also boasts an academic rating of 95 percent and has a near perfect quality of life rating. Money Can Buy You Happiness In a recent study published by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), researchers found that money can buy you happiness in the form of time-saving activities, such as paying someone to mow your lawn or clean your house. People who traded cash for time were found to be less anxious at the end of the day and reported less stress as well. The study also found that when we suffer from a “time famine,” we are putting our health at risk by forming unhealthy eating, exercising and sleeping habits. Be True to You The secret to well-balanced happiness may include embracing emotions that aren’t very pleasant, such as anger, sadness and contempt. According to Maya Tamir, Ph.D., a psychology professor at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem who worked on the study The Secret to Happiness: Feeling Good or Feeling Right?, researchers found that we are better off if the emotions we are experiencing match the emotions we desire. “If we embrace the feelings that we have, for instance, when we feel sad, we could accept these feelings as natural and understand that there is nothing wrong with us,” Maya says. Emoji for Hire We often send each other emojis to convey certain moods that we are feeling without using words, such as a laughing smiley face or a frustrated face-palm. Since people naturally like to mimic behaviors, or what scientists call “affective contagion,” a management professor from the University of Delaware who studies workplace performance wanted to see if emojis had an impact on how people behave at work. What he found was when people receive friendly and positive messages, they are put into a good mood which can then lead to the release of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine controls the reward and pleasure centers of the brain and allows us to be more creative and find new ways to solve problems. Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Person reading tablet outside.

4 Ways to Stop Work Stress From Following You Home

While work stress might start at work, let’s admit that it never stays there. Companies demand more from employees not only in terms of tasks but also time—and technology makes work not only omnipresent but omnipossible. This increased demand has negative consequences even for those not on the company payroll, as work stress seeps into home life. Since we are married happiness researchers, this topic is not only professionally interesting but personally important to us. We have both fallen into the trap of getting stressed at work outside of the house and then bringing that stress home to inflict on the other—even when we know better! Based on our work with nearly half the Fortune 100 companies, we believe that the solution to helping ourselves and our loved ones deal with the stress of work comes, ironically, from the very companies that give it to us. The problem is not merely that work is too powerful of a demand, it is that we fail to create a strong enough protective culture at home. Only by understanding how the best companies create positive cultures can we replicate those successes at home to create a family culture that rejuvenates and restores us. It’s imperative we stop letting a toxic company culture dictate our family culture. Positive cultures are based on often unspoken rules that encourage habits that support high levels of well-being and success. Just as a car gets regular maintenance, forward-thinking organizations set up a culture that encourages routines that help recharge and renew employees, such as taking vacation days, meditating as a midmorning break and regularly receiving meaningful praise. These positive behaviors are good for the individual and the company. Our research has found that if you take 11 or more of your vacation days, you’re 30 percent more likely to receive a raise. (And that positive outcome is not simply because people missed you!) The break from work relaxes your mind and body and puts you back in the performance zone, which leads to better-quality work. Aetna made time for meditation during the workday and subsequently decreased employee health care costs and increased work satisfaction. We have been experimenting with strengthening our family culture at home so that work doesn’t take over. Try these research-based practices to help set up and maintain a positive family culture: 1. Hold a stakeholders meeting Too often we live life as it unfolds, without intention. Invite all members of the family old enough to meaningfully contribute to a meeting to discuss family values. What kind of environment do you want to create inside your home? How do you want to spend your time? What are the rules around use of electronics? By identifying your values and setting your collective plan of how you’ll support that vision, you can start to craft a life that follows it. Set up an environment that is nurturing and relaxing, so you get a mental break. 2. Start culture at the door When we walked through the door to address senior leaders at Kimball International, it was clear what the organization stands for because its mission statement and values are posted at the door. A similar physical reminder of culture at home can refocus family members as they walk through the door after a long day at the office. Post loving messages, a list of values or even pictures of you as a family living those values. Think of this as a visual reset button so you start your time at home with a renewed mindset. 3. Bag up tech Social connection is one of the greatest predictors of long-term happiness, but we can’t create that with phones in our faces. A study published in the Psychology of Popular Media Culture found that of the women surveyed who were in a romantic relationship, 25 percent said their loved ones sent text messages or emails to other people while they were having a face-to-face conversation. Move your phone out of your physical space so it is not easy to absent-mindedly use it. We’ve experimented with putting our phones in a zip-top bag with a rubber band around it as a reminder. Consider leaving at least one person’s phone at home for the day to get a chance to detox. 4. Sleep your way to the top Research shows we make more positive memories if we get more sleep. In a study from the University of California, Berkeley, in which people were asked to memorize two lists of words, one positive and one negative, those with five hours of sleep remembered the same number of negative words (about 80 percent) but significantly fewer positive words than those who got eight hours of sleep. Write positive memories with your spouse by hitting the hay together early. You can help your spouse support this positive habit by brushing your teeth in plain sight or turning off the lights in the bedroom to remind him or her that the day is over. How do you strengthen a positive family culture? We’d love to hear! Read more by Shawn and Michelle: Are You a Phone Snubber? and 60 Seconds to Happiness Listen to our podcast: Becoming Stress-Proof With Mithu Storoni SHAWN ACHOR is the best-selling author of The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness. Shawn’s TED Talk is one of the most popular ever, with more than 5 million views, and his PBS program has been seen by millions. Learn more about Shawn at Goodthinkinc.com. MICHELLE GIELAN is an expert on the science of positive communication and the author of the book Broadcasting Happiness. Formerly a national anchor for CBS News, Michelle holds a masters of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Learn more at Goodthinkinc.com.
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Woman doing yoga with wellness bracelet.

5 Wearable Tech Devices That Increase Emotional Awareness

In ancient Greece, philosophers believed so strongly that self-knowledge was the key to human potential that they inscribed the phrase “Know Thyself” onto the sacred Temple of Apollo. Since that time, philosophers, religious leaders and authors alike have mused about the nature of humanity and our sense of self. What are humans made of? How do we experience pain? What are emotions and why do we have them? Until recently, most of the conclusions that were drawn came from external observation or speculation. However, thanks to evolving technology, we now have the ability to connect our external and internal worlds in ways that Socrates or Plato couldn’t have imagined. Now, with wearable fitness and wellness trackers, something can tell us what’s going on inside our bodies on an intellectual, emotional and even molecular level at all times. We are witnessinga new era in which people can get a personal, real-time snapshot inside their bodies to understand how stimuli like stress can increase heart rate, speed up breathing and even produce headaches. Taking your emotional temperature While many wearable technology products focus on tracking physical health, a number of wearables are now emerging specifically to assess emotional health. One of my favorite wearables, called theSpire Stone, is a small lava-shaped rock with a clip that attaches to your waistband or bra strap. It uses your breathing patterns to determine if you are feeling calm, focused or tense. As a naturally anxious person, I found this feedback loop useful. However, about five days into my trial period with Spire, this device went from fascinating to fundamentally transformative. In-Spired reality check Through a terrible series of circumstances, my 8-year-old daughter Ana broke her neck last summer in our backyard pool. Fortunately, she is now doing fine and launching back-handsprings all over the house. But at the time, I remember driving Ana to the hospital to get X-rays while wearing my Spire stone, and surprisingly, it said that I was feeling quite calm. It wasn’t until we were walking out of the hospital, with Ana in a giant neck brace, that the Spire stone began to vibrate, indicating that I was feeling tense. And I thought, “Yeah I know!! My daughter just broke her neck.” But the vibration caused me to pause and think about why I was feeling tense. I realized that I was worried about what other people would think about me as the mom of a child with a broken neck, rather than being present with Ana and supporting her as she wrestled with her new reality—a summer of no gymnastics, no lacrosse, no swimming. This 30-second feedback loop from the Spire Stone was just enough to help me reframe my thoughts and mindfully pivot to be more like the mother I wanted to be. The next generation This is technology at its finest — helping to raise our consciousness and fuel well-being through science-based solutions. And right now, so many emerging technologies coming onto the market will help us to gain insight into living happier, healthier lives. Here are a few wearables that I find particularly fascinating: Muse—a brain-sensing headband that provides real-time insight into your state of mind and teaches you how to overcome distraction Feel—a gender-neutral bracelet that uses skin conductance, body temperature and heart rate to track emotion and coach you toward greater well-being Bellabeat Leaf Urban—a bracelet, necklace or clip that measures stress, breathing patterns, sleep quality and even tracks menstrual and ovulation cycles Pip—a small handheld device that monitors changes in skin pores to track stress levels and then recommends strategies to reduce stress through activities in its companion app. If you are interested in learning about other wearables for tracking physical and emotional health, check out my bookThe Future of Happiness or visit happiness.tech for direct links to over 100 apps, gadgets and wearables dedicated to increasing well-being. Amy Blankson, aka the ‘Happy Tech Girl,’ is on a quest to help individuals balance productivity and well-being in the digital era. Amy, with her brother Shawn Achor, co-founded GoodThink, which brings the principles of positive psychology to lifeand works with organizations such as Google, NASA and the U.S. Army. Her new book is The Future of Happiness: 5 Modern Strategies for Balancing Productivity and Well-being in the Digital Era.
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Pensive woman sitting on a bench.

Be Real About How You Feel

New research suggests that a key to happiness may include embracing more negative emotions. Traditionally, psychologists have held that in order to increase happiness, it is important to increase positive emotions and decrease the negative. However, in the new study “The Secret to Happiness: Feeling Good or Feeling Right?,” researchers suggest that people are happier when the emotions they experience align with the emotions they desire, even if those are unpleasant, such as anger or contempt. “People are happier if they feel what they want to feel or if they want what they feel,” says Maya Tamir, Ph.D., lead researcher on the study and psychology professor at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem. “If people want to feel unpleasant emotions, they are happier if they feel them, at least to some extent. If we feel angry, but consider these the right feelings to have—we’re probably better off than if our feelings don’t match what we want them to be.” Embrace your dark side Maya explains that some negative emotions can be helpful and even beneficial when those emotions are aligned with our desires. For instance, if you are feeling angry about a great injustice, your desires are probably related to your core values. The anger you feel may spur you into action, which can provide meaning in your life as you work to correct the injustice. Embracing your anger may motivate you to pursue a fitness goal if you are out of shape or strive for a promotion at work if you are not happy with your current financial situation. If your emotions are misaligned with your values, Maya says, that can have the opposite effect and lead to dissatisfaction. One example would be getting angry at your child for breaking a dish but then feeling guilty later for being too harsh about the mishap. By pursuing the emotions we care about most and embracing the feelings we have about those emotions, we can feel better about ourselves and have less inner conflict. “Happiness is not only about the emotions you have, but also about the emotions you want to have,” Maya explains. “You are happier when these two match than when they mismatch, regardless of whether that means feeling more or less pleasant overall.” Don't sweep negative emotions under the rug Stacy Kaiser, Live Happy editor at large and psychotherapist, strongly agrees with the findings and says that being true to who you are is an important part of emotional well-being. “Dismissing or ignoring our feelings typically leads to greater sadness and discomfort overall,” she says. “I regularly encourage people to allow themselves to feel their feelings, good or bad, to process them and to move forward,” she says. “Taking time out to do this typically provides relief in the moment and greater happiness overall.” Read more: Are You Trying Too Hard to Be Happy? Read more: Face Failure Head On With These Essential Tools Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine. His last feature article was Happiness Is a Walk in the Park.
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Live Happy Tips to Buy Yourself Free Time

Buy Yourself Free Time to Find Happiness

A recent study published by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), found that even though we may have more money and our income levels are higher, the unintended consequence for this success is an unhealthy decrease in our free time. And that’s bad for happiness. When you are constantly pressed for time, the negative stress can increase anxiety and lead to unhealthy habits in eating, sleeping and exercising, the study found. But, if you take your earnings and trade them for time, such as paying someone to mow the lawn or clean your house, you can free up time to spend with the people you enjoy doing activities that bring you pleasure. Time: the scarce commodity “We spend our time in ways that doesn’t pay out in terms of our overall well-being,” says Christine Carter, Ph.D., sociologist and author of The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less. “Neurologically, the busier that we feel and the more overwhelmed that we feel, the worse we are at managing our time, planning out how we’ll spend our time and perceiving time.” She says that any time we feel like we don’t have enough of something, it creates a “scarcity mindset” in our brain which triggers our fight-or-flight response. “It worsens our relationship with time and productivity.” Too many things to do and not enough time to do them results in both mental and physical distress. When your brain is constantly zipping back and forth between tasks, you are burning glucose and oxygen and creating physical tension. Read more: Upping Your Downtime Take time to daydream According to the study, if we spend money on time-saving activities instead of material goods, we may feel more relief at the end of the day and have a more a positive mindset. If we string these positive events together, as explained by Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden and build theory, we have a greater chance at improving our life satisfaction. But, if we overdo it, we can stoke feelings of having less control over our lives or we can fill that time with more of what got us in trouble in the first place, such as checking email, scrolling through our phones or just doing more work. “If you are focused and your cognition is engaged at all times, the human brain really starts to have problems,” Christine says. “A lot of the things that we pay people to do for us take away our unspoken mind-wandering time. That’s when a lot happens in the brain.” She adds that trading money for time is good if we use our free time the right way, like spending your it to find fulfillment and connect with people we are close to, which is essential for our well-being. Also, having plain-old down time is not a bad thing, either. She says if we don’t use our extra time to let the mind wander, the brain will find inopportune times to day dream anyway and interrupt your creativity and productivity. Read more: 33 Ideas on Play Spend it wisely Pedram Shojai, the best-selling author of The Urban Monk: Eastern Wisdom and Modern Hacks to Stop Time and Find Success, Happiness, and Peace says that time, money and energy are interchangeable in a lot of ways. He explains that when we run out money, we can often borrow more. “If you run out of time, you’re done.” When we burden ourselves with too much to do and not enough time to do it, we fall into what Pedram calls the time-compression syndrome on his website The Urban Monk. All that stress and worry takes us out of the present moment and makes it hard to focus on the task at hand. Pedram says, while we can swap money for other people’s time, we also need to be more mindful of where that time is being allocated and to pinpoint the moments in our lives where we are really bound. “It requires a good understanding of what your goals are, what you want to be and where you want your life to go to,” Pedram says. “Really look at how you are allocating that time so you are not being frivolous or needlessly wasteful.” Good-quality time could be spent savoring the moments with your young children, catching up on much needed rest and getting more exercise. All of these factors can increase lasting happiness. Read more: How to Buy Happiness for Less Than $25 Chris Libby is the Section Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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