Happy senior husband and wife have fun sing in kitchen appliances cooking together at home.

Happy for Life

A long, full and vibrant life has long been seen as an enviable stroke of good luck, the result of good genes or perhaps a gift from the gods. As technology continues to provide new medical breakthroughs that can expand our lifespans, the idea of a long life seems to be an attainable goal for most of us. But there’s a catch, says David Ekerdt, Ph.D., a professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of Kansas. While David acknowledges that a longer life has become a valued public health objective, he observes that, “At the individual level, longer lives are a goal only if [the individual] remains healthy.” His study, “Is longevity a value for older adults?” was published in December in the Journal of Aging Studies. He looked at aging adults from China, Germany and the U.S. and found they all shared one common belief: A long life requires good health to make it worthwhile. Recent research shows the path to long-term health may not be as dependent on genes or good luck as we once thought; science shows that our thoughts and actions play a bigger role in overall health than we previously realized. Starting Younger, Living Better If it’s a long, happy life you’re after, the time to start is now—regardless of whether you’re 5 or 35. The foundation for a long life is established early on; the habits and mindset you pick up along the way will affect your health much more than your family traits and curses. George Vaillant, director emeritus of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, says how long and how well we live is about much more than our genes, jobs, physical exercise or diet. The Harvard study, launched in 1938, examines what creates a long, healthy life. Today, it extends to the descendants of that original research project and gives an unprecedented look into what allows us to live better. “Genetics has much less effect on how long someone lives than their habits,” says George, who headed the study for 30 years. He found alcoholism and smoking to be the two deadliest practices, while moderate exercise and a stable weight tend to equal a longer life. Beyond that, the research shows, longevity depends upon our emotions and relationships. “People who live a long time have a lot of positive emotion,” he says. “And that means being part of a community. It’s hard to have positive emotion on a deserted island; you need other people.” Finding Your Tribe Positive emotions and good relationships are not only bedrock principles of positive psychology; they have been found to be instrumental to good health. While unhappy marriages and stressful relationships have been proven deterrents to good health, individuals with healthy relationships have 35 percent fewer illnesses. “The key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships,” George says. Well-being researcher Dan Buettner agrees. The Blue Zones author has studied what leads to longer, more fulfilling lives and has found that not only are happiness and good health tightly intertwined, but that social interaction can help you live longer and better. “We are more likely to be happy if we get five to seven hours of meaningful social interaction a day,” he says. “Making sure that you have happy friends affects how long you live, because that’s contagious. And focusing on your immediate social network is more important than either diet or exercise programs when it comes to living a long, happy, healthy life.” He says having five positive-minded people who share interests in recreation—whether it’s golfing, walking or gardening—and who truly care about you will have powerful incremental effects on your well-being. “That is almost the surest thing you can do in the long run for both making it to a healthy age 90 or 95 and enjoying the journey. [Happiness adds] about eight years to your life expectancy; it’s almost as good for you as quitting smoking.” Tending to Your Telomeres If the notion that simply being happy and focusing on positive relationships can offset aging seems hard to believe, Elissa Epel, Ph.D., has the proof. Elissa co-authored the book, The Telomere Effect with 2009 Nobel Prize winner Elizabeth Blackburn, Ph.D., and their research shows that greater happiness equals longer lives. Telomeres—those caps at the end of each strand of DNA—protect our chromosomes and affect how quickly and how well our cells age. Telomeres shorten as we age, but practices like smoking, lack of exercise, a poor diet and stress also can shorten them. But now, Elissa says, there’s growing proof that just changing your mindset can change your telomeres, leading to a longer, happier life. Focusing on the positive and finding ways to be fully engaged with your life has a proven association with longer telomeres. Practices like meditation, tai chi and qigong can reduce stress and increase the production of telomerase, an enzyme that replenishes telomeres. Adopting happiness practices and learning to focus on the positives are scientifically proven to be some of the most beneficial practices for maintaining the length of telomeres. “Mindset and mental health are some of the most important parts of healthy aging,” Elissa says. “We can’t forget the daily work of good, healthy habits…but fewer people realize that where we put our attention is also critically important.” Don’t miss Paula’s interview on the Live Happy Now podcast with Dr. Joe Bates as he explains how to use brain exercises to keep your mind young and fit. This article originally appeared in the October 2018 edition of Live Happy magazine.
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The Power of the Pen

In 2009, Gina Mulligan was diagnosed with breast cancer. As word spread to friends and family, dozens of handwritten letters and cards of encouragement began pouring in, many from people she’d never met. Before long, Gina looked forward to the mail’s arrival each day. The mailman typically delivered late in the afternoon, following her radiation therapy treatments, causing her to approach her sessions with a hint of excitement as she anticipated what might be coming that day. “I would read the letters and just relax after treatments that were so scary,” Gina says. “There was this warmth from being surrounded physically by these cards and letters.” Fast-forward two years: With active treatment behind her, Gina wanted to give back to other women who might not have the support she did. In August 2011, Gina founded Girls Love Mail, a nonprofit whose army of volunteers writes and sends handwritten letters to women who have been newly diagnosed with breast cancer. To date, the organization has distributed some 141,000 letters to women across the United States through its partnering cancer centers and programs. “I realized how powerful it is to get something handwritten,” Gina says. “Those letters were part of my healing.” Though she also received heartfelt emails and social media messages, those didn’t impact her in the same way. “I didn’t print the emails out,” Gina says. “A handwritten letter is more than just the words. It’s the stationery, the ink—all of those personal touches that really come through when it’s written by hand.” Mary Savig, curator of manuscripts at the Smithsonian Institution’s Archives of American Art—which contains hundreds of thousands of handwritten letters from artists and art-world figures—chimes in: “People have very physical responses to handwritten letters, whether you’re the writer or the receiver. You can really feel the presence of an author in a way that’s difficult to translate in a lot of other media.” But in this age of smartphones, tablets and laptops, it may seem like writing by hand is taking a backseat to these time-saving technologies. Take a 2012 survey of 2,000 British residents that found 1 in 3 respondents hadn’t written anything by hand in the previous six months, while on average respondents hadn’t put pen to paper in 41 days. “It’s novel these days to write by hand—to do something manually,” says Pablo Tinio, associate professor of education foundations at Montclair State University and co-editor of Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts. That makes you wonder: How can we benefit from setting our screens aside and jotting down our thoughts on paper? Handled With Care A 2003 study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology suggests that an object’s quality is determined by the perceived amount of effort that went into its production. Researchers conducted three experiments in which undergraduate students were asked to judge the quality of a poem, paintings, and medieval arms and armor. In each experiment, researchers manipulated the perceived effort invested. For example, they told one group of participants that the poem took the writer four hours to compose, while informing a second group that it took 18 hours to complete. The results? Participants rated the objects that required more effort higher in quality each time. “There seems to be an intuitive sense, both from the maker and the receiver, that higher value is placed on something that takes more effort,” Pablo says. That helps explain why handwritten notes often resonate on a deeper level with recipients than those that are typed or emailed, just as they did for Gina. “It’s the difference between writing a condolence email versus a letter,” says Abby Smith Rumsey, historian and author of When We Are No More: How Digital Memory Is Shaping Our Future. “Writing signals a kind of intentionality that mechanical means don’t have. People who receive letters know that the person who sent it made lots of choices: the paper, ink, color of ink, the words. They know the person thought about what they were saying before they wrote it because there’s no autocorrect.” But it’s not just the recipient who benefits, as psychotherapist and corporate consultant Maud Purcell points out. “The act of writing clarifies your thoughts and feelings,” she says. When you write a note to a loved one, Maud says, you may be empathizing with them in your mind and heart if there’s something going on with them. “If in writing a letter you’re showing concern for them, if it gives you a sense of connectedness because you’re sharing your own experiences with them—all of these things are very healthy.” In Good Hands Undoubtedly, the ability to send emails or quickly type on our keyboards has positively impacted our lives—but the proven benefits that accompany handwriting can’t be overlooked. Exhibit A: journaling, a method of self-expression that Maud says can be any kind of writing—anytime, anywhere. The value comes as you’re able to get in touch with your thoughts and feelings. “The act of writing brings things that are just below the surface of consciousness to the fore,” Maud says. “If you sit down every morning and write your thoughts and feelings in a stream-of-consciousness way, you may end up inadvertently solving a problem you’ve been wrestling with.” The reason? Writing activates the left side of the brain, which is analytical and rational, Maud explains. While the left brain is engaged, the right side is free to intuit and feel. “Journaling allows the creative part of the brain to kick in so that when we’re not thinking, answers can come to the fore,” Maud says. “Not to say that there’s still not value in the keyboard, but the physical act of writing is more impactful and brings more to the surface. There’s a kind of catharsis that comes with it.” Not to mention the role handwriting plays in learning: Studies have revealed that writing notes by hand helps students better retain information, and some experts believe cursive writing can help kids with dyslexia learn to read more easily. Virginia Berninger, professor emerita of educational psychology at the University of Washington, researched the effect handwriting has on the brain. In a five-year study of children in first through seventh grades, she found that printing, cursive writing, and using a keyboard each make unique contributions to the literary process. “When you write by hand, you have to form the letter stroke by stroke,” Virginia says. “It’s that production that helps our perception of letters in reading.” The idea that production improves perception can help explain the results of a 2008 study in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience. Researchers found that adults had an easier time recognizing new characters—like Chinese and math symbols—after writing them with pen and paper than they did after producing the characters on a keyboard. “The bottom line is we need to develop kids that are hybrid writers who can print, do cursive, and type,” Virginia says, “because each one of these has its benefits.” Make Your Mark The tension between handwriting and technology isn’t new: Other forms of technology, including the typewriter and telephone, were also once poised to destroy handwriting. The good news? There’s a place for both, as the invention of digital pens—which allow users to scrawl handwritten notes on digital devices—shows us. “While writing letters will probably never be our primary means of communication again, that doesn’t mean we can’t ask handwriting to do different things for us,” Mary says. “I remain optimistic about handwriting—it’s probably not going anywhere.” It seems handwriting has a sort of gritty staying power, and whether we’re scribbling a thank-you letter, penning a journal entry, or learning a new language, we can continue to reap the benefits of this ancient practice that has the ability to reveal our personality, connect with others, calm our minds, and learn easier all at the same time. Take it from Gina, who recalls the power one simple letter can hold: “I received a short note from a woman who told me that I was amazing just the way I was,” Gina says. “Her words were comforting and gave me strength—it was very healing to be told it was fine to just be myself.” This article originally appeared in the October 2018 edition in Live Happy magazine.
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Happiness Clocks In

In Denmark, happiness in the workplace is so valued that they even have a name for it: arbejdsglæde. Roughly translating into “work joy” or “work happiness,” it’s a word that seems foreign to U.S. workers in more ways than one. During the course of our lives, we spend roughly 90,000 hours working, so it makes sense that we’d want to enjoy that part of our lives. While previous generations may have focused their attention on paying the bills and working hard to build a good life for their families, today’s workers expect a greater work and life balance. In fact, Gallup’s 2017 State of the American Workplace report found that 53 percent of workers say that having a position with greater work/life balance and increased personal well-being is “very important.” And they increasingly expect employers to play a role in that. The 2017 Staples Annual Workplace Study discovered that 80 percent of workers believe employers have a responsibility to keep employees both mentally and physically well. Given the connection between happiness, good health and productivity, bosses would do well to listen. “People who are happy at work have better health, are happier in life and enjoy greater career success and lifetime incomes,” says Alexander Kjerulf, CEO of the Danish company Woohoo inc. It’s good for the company, too. Economists from the University of Warwick found that happier people are 12 to 20 percent more productive and use their time more effectively. “Companies like Google have invested more in employee support and employee satisfaction has risen as a result,” says Andrew Oswald, professor of economics and behavioral science at the University of Warwick and one of the authors of the study. “For Google, [productivity] rose 37 percent. Making workers happy really pays off.” Rules of Engagement But what, exactly, makes for a happy workplace? It’s more than Google’s free food and arcade games that make employees want to work harder and do better; it’s most likely the autonomy, the ability to learn on the job and the variety of challenges that contribute to happiness and greater productivity. All of those elements were found to be major contributing factors to work satisfaction in the Gallup report. “Autonomy is a key human motivator, and that includes autonomy at work,” says Scott Crabtree, chief happiness officer and founder of Happy Brain Science, a consulting company that helps organizations boost productivity and happiness. “Nobody enjoys being micromanaged, so why do it to others?” Employees who fare best are those who are given clear goals or expectations, limited feedback (and only when necessary) and the freedom to move forward on their own. That kind of approach leads to an engaged workforce—and engaged workers are happy ones. Making a Play for Workplace Happiness Engaging workers is easier said than done. While it’s not a new problem for workers or for employers, it is becoming more important. One of the new drivers of employee engagement is gamification, which applies game mechanics to nongame settings—such as the workplace. This allows employers to develop rewards, encourage employees and improve performance in a more accessible, enjoyable way. As he studied more about happiness in the workplace, Scott—who has a background in video game design—was surprised to learn that what makes people happy and engaged in video games are the same elements that engage us at work. “What makes games so compelling, according to science, is that you find core human intrinsic motivators in them; these are psychological needs that we all have,” he says. “Specifically, those needs are autonomy, relatedness and mastery, and the best video games satisfy our needs for that. “It’s exciting to know that the things that engage us in playing games are the same things that engage us in making work more rewarding and engaging.” Playing With a Full Deck Scott merged the research on workplace happiness with positive psychology principles into a game called Choose Happiness @ Work. Using two decks of cards, players work through a set of problems based on real-world work scenarios. One player draws a problem, and the other players recommend one of the solutions they’ve drawn from the other deck. “It gets everyone talking about how these different solutions will work. Every solution has real science behind it,” Scott says. Those solutions apply principles of positive psychology to resolve the scenario. “I use this a lot in workshops and presentations, and there’s a lot of laughter,” he says. “There’s not enough laughter in the workplace. So even though it’s a ‘serious’ game, it’s a lot of fun.” Even in its levity, however, the game is providing ideas and guidelines for solving workplace problems, improving communication and creating greater engagement. The solutions presented are designed to make players think differently and respond to situations using a positive, engaged approach. “When you talk to people about gamification at work, most people immediately go to the surface stuff: We’ll give people points and badges and prizes. All of that is great and it works, but it works better if you understand why it’s working and what it’s all about,” Scott says. “In work and in games, it’s all about progress and mastery.” While workplaces may have been reluctant to introduce initiatives for employee happiness in the past, today that mindset is changing. “I understand that we’re at work to get things done, but fun is not the opposite of productivity. Science shows us it can be a great complement to productivity,” Scott says. “If you take 5 percent of your time to boost happiness at work, and you get a 20 percent productivity boost out of that investment, then I would say that’s a fantastic return on investment.” This article originally appeared in the October 2018 Edition of Live Happy magazine.
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What Can I Do to Increase My Happiness?

“Hey! I have a good idea,” says Emma, jumping in for the first time. “We—,” she glances behind her, “I mean, Ted—should stop making interpersonal comparisons.” The whole class laughs. “That way, he won’t want more stuff he doesn’t need and be less happy just because other people have more stuff.” Good reasoning, Emma—if at Ted’s expense! Too many people end up buying a house larger than they need and a deluxe car (or cars) to display their wealth. The result is to burden themselves, with colossal debt and the stress of meeting large debt repayments month after month. It’s awfully hard to enjoy your BMW if you can barely afford the gas to drive it. Because income trends upward during the working ages, you might think that people would become increasingly satisfied with their financial situation. Yet, in fact, there is very little change in financial satisfaction throughout the prime working years, due to the burden of debt repayment brought about by perpetually multiplying the list of things we want. It’s not until folks are into their retirement years, with incomes leveling off or even declining, that financial satisfaction improves noticeably. Children have completed school and are mainly self-supporting. Material aspirations decline as needs diminish in the so-called golden years, and the burden of debt is substantially reduced as mortgages and other debts are finally repaid. The lesson? “We can all increase happiness by focusing on what we really need and not worry about keeping up with our neighbors!” Ted exclaims. Yes, Ted, good on you and Emma: We can increase happiness by addressing our true needs and avoiding unnecessary debt. A pretty easy lesson? Sure, yet a word of warning: Eliminating social comparison is easier said than done. I live, for example, in quite a nice house. Some time ago, my daughter Molly’s soccer coach invited us to his residence for a get-together of players and parents. His house turned out to be quite grand, and I must admit that when I got back to my own dwelling, my pleasure in it was somewhat diminished. As Karl Marx says, “A house may be large or small; as long as the neighboring houses are likewise small it satisfies all social requirement for a residence. But let there arise next to the little house a palace, and the little house shrinks to a hut.” I should know better than to indulge in social comparison, but it’s hard to break the habit. Nevertheless, it’s definitely worth the effort. (Note to self: Remember this!) There’s a second, and perhaps easier, route to increasing happiness: improving our use of time. Each of us has only a given amount of time, and the more we devote to one activity, say, making money, the less time there is for others, like improving health and family life. Because wants regarding health and family life are relatively fixed compared with wants for living conditions, devoting time to an improvement in one’s health or family life will have a more lasting effect on happiness than increasing one’s income. Unfortunately, people spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to make more money, at the same time shortchanging things like family life and health. Look at the responses to this survey question: “Imagine you are 38 years old and offered a new position in a field you like. The job is more prestigious and will pay 15 percent more than your present job. It will also require more work hours and take you far away from your family more often. What is the likelihood you would take the job?” There are four response options. About a third of respondents say it is “very likely” that they would take the job; another third say “somewhat likely,” and the remaining third say “somewhat unlikely.” Not one person chooses the fourth option, “very unlikely.” Thus, in a survey in which respondents had previously said “having a happy marriage” was their top life goal, family life is sacrificed to make more money. What’s more, in all likelihood, health would suffer because of longer work hours and more time on the road. The preference for the new job option highlights how people typically misallocate time by downplaying family life and health relative to making money. It’s probable that some respondents who choose the money option rationalize their decision on the grounds that, despite their absence from home, more money will make for a happier family life—that money will substitute for personal presence. OK, but what sorts of things make people happy? In fact, many of the things that people enjoy, that make them most happy, require little or no money, though they do require time. Over the past few decades, numerous studies reveal how people use their time. People’s responses, based on personal diaries, cover the usual range of daily activities. Fortunately, one nationally representative inquiry hit on the idea of also asking respondents how enjoyable each activity was. The answers are on a 10-point scale from 1 (=dislike) to 10 (=like). Here are the most enjoyable activities (a rating greater than 7.5) ordered from high to low in terms of average score: 9.3 Sex 9.2 Play sports 9.1 Fishing 9.0 Art, music 8.9 Bars, lounges 8.8 Play with kids, hug and kiss 8.6 Talk to kids, read to kids 8.5 Church, sleep, attend movies 8.3 Read book, walk 8.2 Relax, magazines, visit, work break, meals away 8.0 Talk with family, listen to stereo 7.9 Lunch break 7.8 Home meal, TV, read paper 7.7 Knit, sew What stands out is that most of these activities don’t cost a lot, and some require no money at all. However, they do require time. Taking a job that would “require more work hours and take you far away from your family more often” would leave much less time for many of these sources of happiness. This survey of enjoyable activities is over 30 years old, so some items such as “knit” and “sew” seem out of date, at least for a large portion of the population. Perhaps now “surfing the Internet” and “tweeting” might substitute for knitting and sewing. Nonetheless, the essential findings of this early study are largely confirmed by a somewhat similar collaborative study, published in 2004 by psychologist Daniel Kahneman (again! the reference-level pioneer) and others. Those surveyed were Texas women who worked the previous day and were easy to reach, a convenience rather than random sample. The three items leading the list of most enjoyable activities are “intimate relations,” “socializing,” and “relaxing.” All three fit well with the items above. They take time, certainly, but they require little or no money. “So why do people do this—use up their time trying to make money?” asks Lily, looking perplexed. Exactly so, Lily—why do we? Very often, people misallocate their time, choosing the pursuit of money at the expense of other life goals. Why? “Because they think a lot of money will make them happy,” blurts out Ted. Yes, that’s the answer: because of the common belief that more money makes you happier. People don’t realize that their material wants increase in step with what they have. The expected increase in happiness resulting from more money turns out to be illusory, while the loss of happiness due to the sacrifice of family life and health is real. So, what will make you happier? Despite what I felt after leaving the soccer coach’s house, I know the answer is “more time devoted to things like family life and health, less time to the pursuit of money.” Focus on soccer, not the coach’s house. Adapted from An Economist’s Lessons on Happiness: Farewell Dismal Science by Richard A. Easterlin. Copyright ©2021. Published by Springer International Publishing under exclusive license to Springer Nature Switzerland AG.
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The Power of Doing Good With Megan McDonough

It’s no secret that doing good for others is also good for us. But have you ever thought about exactly why doing good is so powerful? This week, Megan McDonough, CEO and founder of the Wholebeing Institute and the author of four books on mindfulness, joins host Paula Felps to find out what’s so great about doing good. Megan is an expert in the science of human flourishing, and she’s here to tell us what doing good does for us and how we can find what she calls the “spark of yes.” In this episode, you'll learn: Why doing good is so crucial for yourself and for others. How the pressure of affects our desire to do good — and what to do about it. How to notice and say “yes” to the spark that wants to serve. Links and Resources Facebook: 4meganmcdonough Facebook: WholebeingInstitute Website: www.wholebeinginstitute.com Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:           
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Living in Gratitude With Kira Newman

This week, we’re kicking off an entire month of happiness to celebrate the International Day of Happiness on March 20. As part of that celebration, we’re launching the Live Happy 10-Day Gratitude Challenge, which is a great way to share your gratitude for friends, family and co-workers. This week’s guest, Kira Newman, is managing editor at the Greater Good Science Center and co-editor of the book, The Gratitude Project: How the Science of Thankfulness Can Rewire Our Brains for Resilience, Optimism, and the Greater Good. She tells us what gratitude does for us, how we can make it part of our lives and why it’s even more important during difficult times. In this episode, you'll learn: How gratitude brings people together. Simple ways to start rewiring your brain for gratitude. How gratitude and giving go hand in hand. Links and Resources Facebook: Greater Good Science Center Twitter: @greatergoodsc Instagram: @greatergoodmag Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:           
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The Strength of Forgiveness

While forgiveness has been cherished and heralded across cultures for centuries, it’s not as common as you might expect. In the United States, for example, its average rank is 19th out of 24 character strengths. The practice of forgiveness is complex, but the research is clear on one thing: It is a process. It’s not something that you do one time and receive dramatic results, especially if you’ve been deeply hurt. Forgiveness involves many character strengths: Bravery—the courage to be vulnerable. Wisdom—seeing the bigger picture. Self-regulation—not ranting, exploding or expressing grudges. Humility—placing attention on the other person. Learning to forgive has great benefits, both physical and psychological. Science shows us this is largely because when we forgive others, we let go of our own suffering.
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How Satisfied are You With Your Life?

If you have ever wondered if you were truly satisfied with your life but couldn’t tell for sure, science has a way to give you the answers. The Satisfaction with Life Scale (SWLS), developed by Gallup senior scientist Ed Diener, is structured to assess the broad scope of satisfaction within your life, meaning your life as a whole. The scale consists of five statements, the first three dealing with the present and the last two dealing with the past, for you to strongly agree or strongly disagree with: In most ways, my life is close to my ideal. The conditions of my life are excellent. I am completely satisfied with my life. So far, I have gotten the most important things I want in life. If I could live my life over, I would change nothing. Depending how you answer, the results should give you a good sense of how things are going in your life in general. There are many factors that go into how we view satisfaction. People who score high on the scale generally have positive social relationships with family and friends, meaningful accomplishments and strong personal growth. People who score lower on the scale may not be happy with how things are currently going. They may have an unfulfilling career path or haven’t surrounded themselves with enough people who care about them. Temporary dissatisfaction, as Ed points out, is common and in some cases, even motivating. It may be time to reflect and make the necessary changes to improve your life if the dissatisfaction persists. The SWLS has been translated into many different languages and has been used in hundreds of studies to give researchers a global understanding of life satisfaction. It, among other similar questionnaires, can be found at UPenn’s Authentic Happiness site. Participating only takes a few minutes of your time and your answers can be part of the research.
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Making Your Home the Happiest Place on Earth

When Susan Froetschel, a mystery writer, moved from Washington, D.C., to East Lansing, Michigan, for her husband’s teaching job, she had only a week to find their new home. Her real-estate broker was certain she had the perfect house. It was in the location Susan wanted—just blocks from the town’s main street—and at $130,000 well within the couple’s budget. Still, Susan balked. “From the front it was completely plain and boxy without any outdoor space,” she says. “I didn’t even want to walk inside.” But the interior was lovely, and Susan had a vision of an enclosed front porch lined with windows on three sides. Today, some three years later, the 20-by-8-foot porch, with its view of a maple tree, is the blissful center of Susan’s home. “The porch is shelter and observatory,” Susan says. “It connects us to nature and to our neighborhood. It’s where my husband and I eat, entertain, work and talk late into the night. Neighbors walk by, and we wave them in for a cup of tea or a glass of wine.” Four months before her August 2013 wedding, while working nonstop to launch a new website, Silicon Valley entrepreneur Jessica Greenwalt broke her engagement. She moved from the San Francisco apartment she’d shared with her fiancé into a rental in Berkeley. With its layers of beige paint and bare lightbulbs standing in for fixtures, “it was depressing,” Jessica says, “and it was making me even more depressed.” Once she got her startup off the ground, Jessica devoted a week to create a place that reflected her frilly, ornate taste. She painted her living room walls antique yellow, replaced those naked bulbs with chandeliers, filled the apartment with vintage French Victorian furniture and placed antique knickknacks on the favorite landing places of her parakeet Lord Jello Worthington II. “I took a comically rundown apartment,” Jessica says, “and turned it into a home that reflects who I am and what I love.” In 1997, Esther Sternberg, a neuroimmunologist, lost her mother to breast cancer. Along with her grief, she was experiencing intense pain from inflammatory arthritis in her knees, wrists and shoulders. When friends invited Esther to stay in their cottage on the Greek Island of Crete, she was grateful for the change of scenery. Every day she swam in the Mediterranean and climbed the pebbly pathways, “at first hesitating,” she says, “then with increasing confidence,” to a stone chapel that sat on the ruins of an ancient temple to Asclepius, the Greek god of healing. By the time she left Crete 10 days later, Esther was on the path to healing. She was also on her way to becoming one of the most prominent scientists studying the interaction between our environment and our physical and psychological wellbeing. “What we see, what we smell, what we touch in our environment can improve our mood and our health and help us heal,” says Esther, the founding director of the University of Arizona’s Institute on Place and Wellbeing. We may not be conscious of it, she writes in Healing Spaces: The Science of Place and Well-Being, but a place can trigger memories and habits that can “cause us to spiral down into despair” or “rescue us in times of need.” All of us, Esther says, can create surroundings that tap our brain’s “internal pharmacies.” And it’s in our homes where we have the greatest capacity to take advantage of this environmental Prozac, says Travis Stork, an emergency-room physician and co-host of the syndicated talk show The Doctors. “People underestimate the impact our homes have on our health,” Travis says. “But, I’ve seen in the ER and in my own life that our home can go a long way in either undermining or enhancing our physiological and emotional health.” Sitting pretty If you want a blueprint for happiness, modern science can help provide it. As environmental psychologists study the effects of physical space on mood and emotions, neuroarchitects—a mashup of neuroscience and design—investigate how our physical surroundings influence brain processes such as stress, emotion and memory. Together, their findings suggest that the purchases we make at Home Depot or Pottery Barn can affect us in ways we never would have imagined. Consider the matter of buying a chair. Sally Augustin, Ph.D., editor of Research Design Connections, says that psychologists studying the implications of the way we sit found that our posture influences “the rich chemical stew in our brains.” People sitting up straighter have more positive views of themselves than people slouching. Sitting in a way that allows you to take up as much room as possible leads you to feel more powerful and have a higher tolerance for risk. Even padding matters. People perched on hard chairs are much more inflexible during negotiations than those on soft seats. So, when it comes to planning the family vacation, move the conversation from the stiff-backed Queen Anne chairs in your dining room into the living room with its upholstered sofa and easy chairs. Science also explains why we’re so willing to pay more for a room with a view: it’s good medicine. A 1984 study by psychologist Roger Ulrich found that surgical patients in a Pennsylvania hospital whose windows overlooked a small stand of trees left the hospital a full day sooner, had fewer complications and required less pain medication than patients with views of a brick wall. In 2006, neuroscientist Irving Biederman of the University of Southern California would discover that there’s a part of our brains, the parahippocampal cortex, that responds to sweeping views. Rich in opiate receptors, the site releases endorphins, our feel-good hormones, when we gaze at pleasing vistas. What Esther calls the brain’s “beautiful view spot” can be tickled not just by the hills of Crete but by a sliver of sky above a city skyline. Or, even by a painting or photography. In a recent study at a men’s detention center in Sonoma County, California, a mural of a savanna grassland was installed in the booking area, and versions of the same scene were placed over the cell blocks. The researchers wanted to see what, if any, impact the landscape would have on the correctional officers. They outfitted them with heart monitors, and the findings were striking. After the murals were mounted, the heart rates of the correctional officers were considerably slower when they began their shifts than they were pre-mural. And their heart rates didn’t spike by the end of their shifts the way they typically did. Researchers say we’re hard-wired to respond to nature because our survival as a species depended on careful observation of it. We needed to know how to respond to weather, spot predators, find refuge, farm and hunt when there was sunlight and sleep when there was none. Roger Ulrich, who did the study of hospital-room views, has said, “When we recognize those elements today, even if we’re highly stressed or sick, our blood pressure lowers, our immune system functions better, and we feel less stressed.” Harvard biologist Edward O. Wilson coined the term “biophilic design” to describe architecture or design that connects us with a living environment. To get a biophilic buzz, we don’t need to let goats graze in our living room. We can stay in touch with the cycle of sunlight—and our own circadian rhythms—by placing sheer curtains on our windows. Or, says Sally, even incorporating visible wood grain into our environment, through hardwood floors or unpainted maple or walnut furniture, will have a calming effect. Happy places Creating what Sally calls a more “place happy” home isn’t rocket science. Or even neuroscience. But it does require us to approach buying, remodeling or decorating tweaks to our home with introspection. Architect Sarah Susanka is the author of a series of best-selling books such as The Not So Big House, Not So Big Remodeling and Not So Big Solutions for Your Home. Her philosophy is that instead of focusing on square footage and traditional room plans, we think instead about what it takes to create a home that’s an expression of our authentic self. “When our houses reflect who we really are,” she says, “we end up feeling much more at home in our lives.” Sarah says her clients are often uneasy ceding control to an interior designer. “It’s like walking onto the stage set of somebody else’s home,” she says. “It’s filled with beautiful things but it doesn’t feel like their home because these objects don’t have any meaning to them.” Jessica understands that feeling. She says her “extravagant design outburst,” was unleashed by the disquiet she felt when she moved into her former fiancé’s apartment, which was furnished to suit his tastes. “He preferred industrial-style design,” she says, “and while everything was nice, it didn’t reflect me at all. I always felt like a visitor in my own home.” Sarah suggests keeping a place journal for home-improvement projects—large or small. Make notes about the places in your life that make you comfortable and uncomfortable. Take photos and make diagrams; you might admire the beauty of a soaring greenhouse but feel diminished by the scale of the space. Supplement with pages from your favorite magazines or websites. “Our home is not just a visual thing, it’s a feel thing,” says Maxwell Ryan, creator of the design website Apartment Therapy. Sound and texture, Maxwell says, are important elements in creating an environment that feels nurturing. “Most people want their homes to be a retreat from the world,” he says, “a place where they can recharge. You won’t achieve that with rooms that feel noisy and harsh.” Maxwell is a strong advocate of the noise dampening effect of fabric. “Whether it’s curtains, rugs, wall hangings or upholstered furniture,” he says, “fabric can give a room a quieter and more peaceful feeling.” 8 Steps to a Happier Home Use space creatively. Make a dining room double as a library by adding bookshelves. Place area rugs beneath furniture arrangements to define areas for reading, conversation and work. Bring in the houseplants. Greenery helps sharpen focus, boost immunity, clear the air and boost our spirits. For a natural sleep aid, keep potted lavender in your bedroom. According to NASA, plants can remove up to 87 percent of gases like benzene and formaldehyde within 24 hours. Make a breeze. Movement in a room will remind us of a meadow on a spring day. Arrange seating for conversation. Not every chair should face the TV. Have a focal point in each room. A fireplace, bay window, sculpture or potted palm tree are all good forms of visual punctuation. Move away from the walls. Place furniture in a way that lets people meander around the space, but make sure everyone’s back is protected. Create “symbolic” points of protection with standing lamps and console tables. Create a space of your own. We all yearn for an area of retreat. This can be a window seat or a corner of a room framed with a folding screen for quiet contemplation. Cultivate smart messiness. For all the books on banishing clutter, décor that’s too minimalist can rob us of ways to highlight our values and interests. Decorate with travel mementos, family photos and objects that evoke happy memories. This article was originally published in the January 2015 edition of Live Happy magazine.
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6 Steps to Positive Change

Driving home from a family gathering or a dinner with friends, you might conjure up a being who looks like you but behaves differently. He or she was more gregarious at the party, slower to anger at a sister-in-law’s snarky comments and assertive when a colleague offhandedly dismissed a solid proposal. Pretty much all of us, psychologists say, harbor visions of a new and improved version of ourselves. “A vast majority of people want to change at least some aspect of their personality,” says Nathan Hudson, Ph.D., a researcher at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. A study he co-authored found that when it came to tweaking personality traits, 87 percent of participants wanted to become more extroverted while 97 percent said they’d like to increase their conscientiousness. Not very long ago, experts would have said that those hopes were nearly as futile as the wish to be two inches taller. A concept of personality called the “Big Five” emerged in the 1970s, developed by researchers at the National Institutes of Health, the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor and the University of Oregon. According to this model, an individual’s personality is a blend of five core dimensions. These include the two traits that Nathan mentions above: extroversion (outgoing, talkative, sociable) and conscientiousness (organized, disciplined, trustworthy). The other three dimensions are agreeableness (compassionate, kind and friendly), openness to experience (creative, curious) and neuroticism (people low in this trait are calm and confident while those on the other end of the scale are prone to anxiety, anger and depression). A growing body of research is leading experts to revise the view that these core traits are rooted in genetics and mostly fixed in adulthood. The longest-running personality study ever undertaken, for example, shows that our personality changes dramatically over our lifetime. In 1950, researchers at the University of Edinburgh rated some 1,200 14-year-olds in Scotland on six personality traits, from self-confidence to perseverance. Six decades later, the researchers tracked down and reassessed nearly 200 of those original participants. Their findings: Thanks to small incremental changes over the decades, there was no significant correlation between the traits people had as teens and the ones they displayed as seniors. In other words, they were dramatically different individuals at 77 than they had been at 14. Those findings don’t surprise psychologist and adult development pioneer Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. In a landmark study, she followed a single group of women and men from their years as undergraduates well into middle age. As she notes in her book, The Search for Fulfillment: Revolutionary New Research That Reveals the Secret to Long-Term Happiness, our robust ability for change doesn’t carry a “best by” date. “At any age, anyone can feel fulfilled, can create a sense of meaning, and, essentially can find happiness—no matter what their level of satisfaction was in their youth.” In a personal example, she recently left the rambling home she lived in for 33 years in Amherst, Massachusetts, and moved across the state to Boston to join the faculty at the University of Massachusetts Boston. “I wanted something new,” she says. “Moving out of my house was agonizing, but also very liberating.” Susan adds, “The great thing is that when you start to tinker with the behaviors that bother you, you’ll start to change the way you think about yourself. Your narrative goes from ‘I’ve always been a worrywart,’ which is high on neuroticism, to ‘I can feel relaxed if I want to.’ Seeing yourself in charge of your personality rather than being run by it may be the key to having your personality suit instead of define you.” One of the clear findings in Nathan’s recent research at the University of Illinois with fellow researcher Christopher Fraley is that small changes can have big payoffs. Yet, “It’s not sufficient to merely make an intention to change a personality trait. People have to actually change their behaviors, week by week, with small, realistic and attainable goals.” Try these six expert tips to begin making real and lasting personality adjustments. How to Get Started 1. Look forward to looking back. “Live your life when you’re young as if you’re looking back on it when you’re old,” Susan advises her students. The same thing holds at any point in your life. Five years from now, you’ll be glad you decided to put more effort into your marriage, signed up for that watercolor class or gave online dating a chance, whatever the outcome. “People think the only way to change is to go completely all off the rails,” Susan says. “But ‘change’ with a lowercase c can be easier to wrap your head around and surprise you in how much it impacts your happiness.” 2. Find your motivation. “You can’t prioritize everything,” says Alice Boyes, Ph.D., author of The Healthy Mind Toolkit: Simple Strategies to Get Out of Your Own Way and Enjoy Your Life. “It takes cognitive effort and discipline to make a change from whatever comes most naturally to you, so find the bigger reason for making a change, like stronger relationships or a more satisfying work life.” “People devalue incremental improvements,” Alice says. “But what I call micro-steps might completely solve a problem and have a big impact on your happiness.” Feeling distant from your spouse? If you spend 180 minutes a day together, make a commitment to devote just 10 percent of those moments—18 minutes in all—to being more emotionally connected. Turn off the TV, put away your smartphones and engage in a conversation about something other than politics or household chores. “Over time,” she says, “that can really lead to a relationship that feels closer.” 3. Get real with yourself about what you’re willing to do. Consider obstacles when you’re forming a plan for, say, losing weight or eating healthier, Alice says. Saying you’re going to eliminate all white foods from your diet is unrealistic when your favorite dish at the corner bistro is linguini with clam sauce. You might, however, be willing to replace white bread with whole wheat and experiment with different types of pasta, like brown rice or quinoa, when you’re cooking at home. 4. Respect your temperament. “Acting out of character can have a depleting effect on us,” says Cambridge University psychologist Brian Little, Ph.D. That’s true whether you’re a natural-born introvert trying to behave more gregariously or you’re attempting to temper a combative personality. Brian’s advice is to seek out what he calls “restorative niches,” where you can allow your inborn temperament to roam free. A self-described “lifelong introvert,” Brian sometimes gives daylong presentations. By the end of the morning sessions, he’s feeling depleted and over-aroused. To recharge for the afternoon sessions, he declines invitations to lunch with colleagues and instead spends the hour taking a recuperative, solitary walk. 5. Accept that you’ll experience a mix of positive and negative emotions. Stepping out of your comfort zone is, by definition, uncomfortable. But, says Alice, there’s power in learning to tolerate emotions like anxiety, frustration, doubt or envy. “[It] opens up a world of possibility for what you can accomplish,” she says. “Choosing the most meaningful path over the most comfortable one will help you reach your potential.” 6.  Expand how you define yourself. A rigid self-identity can cause you to underestimate the available opportunities and choices, Alice says. If you define yourself as polite and easygoing, you may not be able to imagine yourself being assertive in asking for what you want. With flexibility, you can give expression to less dominant parts of yourself—the hidden extrovert, the sometime adventurer. “Every new situation provides us with an opportunity to bring any sides of ourselves that we want to that situation,” Alice says. Brian, in his influential book, Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being, says there has been a “sea change” in how psychologists view the link between personality and a motivation to change. “Under this new perspective, genes influence us as do our circumstances, but we are not hostage to them,” he writes. The “personal commitments and core projects that we pursue in our daily lives” allow us to rise above what are our natural inclinations. And, he notes, the new science of personality overlaps with positive psychology. Instead of only emphasizing pathology or shortcomings, it’s just as concerned “with positive attributes like creativity, resiliency and human flourishing.” “Change is what our lives are about,” Susan concludes in The Search for Fulfillment.  “No matter how you started out or where you are now, it is possible for you to get back on track with your original goals and dreams, or to find and define new ones. Your life’s script is one that you can write any way you want to, starting right now.” This article was originally published in the October 2018 edition of Live Happy magazine.
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