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5 Steps to Spring Cleaning Your Emotional Closet

Around this time of year, you’re bound to see loads of articles about spring cleaning. And with the rise of Marie Kondo’s bestselling book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, decluttering has taken on a near-spiritual status. Spring is a time of rebirth, and just as we like to open the windows and give the house new light and new life, it is also the perfect time to break out the vacuum cleaner and clean out our emotional closets, where the dust-bunnies of fear and mildew of stagnation take hold. Cleaning out a closet has its challenges: Do you keep the much-loved sweater that is stained? Should you hang on to the jeans you swear you’ll fit into again someday? So it comes as no surprise that facing what’s in your emotional closet will take a little courage, patience and dedication. But if you follow these steps, you’ll kick off spring with a well-organized and freshly polished state of mind. Step 1: Take inventory The first step for cleaning out anything—emotional or otherwise—is to take a look at everything and see what you have. When it comes to emotional housekeeping, this means making time to write down what’s going on in the main areas of your life: work, home, relationships and love. What’s working well in these areas? What would you like to change? You may want to think about the fundamental building blocks of well-being according to positive psychology (PERMA), and see how you stack up there. Do you feel you have enough meaning in your life? Do you lack a sense of achievement at work, and are you engaged with the world around you? Step 2: Let go of what’s not working Just as you’d throw away worn-out T-shirts if you were cleaning out your closet, now is the time to identify and remove (or try to minimize) whatever no longer works for you emotionally. This could be a grudge you’ve been holding on to for years, a job you dread going to every day, or even a friend who no longer shares your values. This step is hard. When it comes to at-home organization, this is usually where people give up and just shove everything back into the closet. Doing the emotional work of letting go of things you’ve held on to but that no longer serve you can be painful, but the more negativity you remove, the more space you’ll have for positivity. Step 3: Give back what you can When it comes to actual closet cleaning, you would donate what you no longer need to friends or a charity. While you probably can’t do this with emotional cleaning (you can’t recycle a job, can you?), this is a good time to think about what you can give back to the world. Do you have special talents or skills? Are you a good friend, parent or co-worker? Are you able to donate time, money or efforts to a good cause? We all possess certain emotional skills that others can benefit from, and giving back to others can positively impact your emotional well-being. Step 4: Decide what you need more of After you identify what you no longer want and can give to others, it’s time to assess what you need more of in your life. Refer back to what you wrote in Step 1. What steps can you take right now to get more of what you need? For example, if you wrote that you’d like more affection from your partner, now’s the time to ask for it. Or, if you realized you need more alone time, tell your family you’ll be taking an hour to relax solo. Take steps to improve your well-being by actively creating the life you want. Step 5: Keep working at it Organized people keep their closets (and the rest of their rooms) arranged neatly by doing little bits of tidying every day. Keep your emotional closet clean by doing frequent check-ins. One of the best ways to do this is by keeping a journal. Checking in daily with the notes you made in Step 1 is the equivalent of putting things away as soon as you get home every night. For some, daily check-ins might be a bit much, but resolve to keep tabs on your emotional state at least once a week. Doing so will help you stay on track—and will prevent having to do a deep-down clean-out in the future. Dani DiPirro is an author, blogger and designer living in a suburb of Washington, D.C. In 2009, she launched the website PositivelyPresent.com with the intention of sharing her insights about living a positive and present life. Dani is the author of Stay Positive, The Positively Present Guide to Life and a variety of e-books. She is also the founder of Twenty3, a design studio focused on promoting positive, modern graphic design and illustration.
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The Science of Savoring with Paula Felps

Paula Felps is the science editor for Live Happy magazine and has worked as a freelance writer and editor since 1998, covering topics from health and fitness to luxury cars and travel to business and technology. She has written for publications and websites such as Executive Travel, American Driver, Self and Reserve. In this episode, Live Happy co-founder and Editorial Director Deborah K. Heisz talks with Paula about the science of savoring and shares a glimpse into the new April 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine. What you'll learn in this podcast: The definition of savoring How to improve your happiness with the practice of savoring The power of positive emotions Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Pre-order a copy of Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy Thank you to our partner—AARP Life Reimagined!
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Alastair Moock on Meaning

Alastair Moock is a 2013 Grammy Awards nominee and a two-time winner of the Parents’ Choice Gold Awards. His works have twice been included in The Fids and Kamily Industry Critics’ Top 3 Albums of the Year. One of Boston’s premier folk artists, Alastair turned his attention to family music after the birth of his twin daughters in 2006. The New York Times calls him “a Tom Waits for kids” and The Boston Globe declares, “in the footsteps of Pete Seeger and Woody Guthrie, Alastair Moock makes real kids music that parents can actually enjoy.” In this episode, Live Happy co-founder and Editorial Director Deborah K. Heisz talks with Alastair on one of 10 practices for choosing joy—meaning. What you'll learn in this podcast: The unique powers of music to educate and heal It is possible to write music for kids that touches on serious issues Finding meaning in your work can help you deal with difficult situations Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Watch "When I Get Bald" music video Purchase Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!
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Mary Miller on Attitude

Mary Miller is the CEO and owner of JANCOA Janitorial Service, Inc., an award-winning commercial cleaning service located in Cincinnati, Ohio. Mary is known for her positive outlook and desire to help others realize their uniqueness and personal power. Through her renowned employee benefits program, the Dream Manager, she has created an exceptional work environment and a truly successful organization. The Dream Manager, popularized by the bestselling book under the same name, grew from an employee retention program into an inspiring example of what a business can be. In this episode, Live Happy co-founder and Editorial Director Deborah K. Heisz talks with Mary on one of ten practices for choosing joy—a positive attitude. What you'll learn in this podcast: The impact a positive attitude has on others How embracing change can help you enjoy the adventure of life The importance of the choices you make and the attitude you choose to have Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Purchase Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy Follow Mary on Twitter Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!
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How the Liberal Arts Lost Its Happiness Groove

How the Liberal Arts Lost Its Happiness Groove

“The liberal arts are a luxury we just can’t afford.” You’ve probably heard some variation of that line before. I hear it all the time—from politicians, pundits, business leaders, the parents of my students, and (occasionally) from students themselves. With belt tightening and concerns about resources and employability in the new global economy, the sentiment is certainly understandable. But it leaves out something central about the liberal arts. At their core, they are about living the good life—a flourishing and happy life in the fullest sense of the words. Liberal arts are about what it means to be a human Let me explain. What we call the “liberal arts”—broadly speaking, subjects such as history, literature, foreign languages, philosophy, natural philosophy (science), and mathematics—derive from the classical artes liberales, those subjects that the Greeks and Romans believed were essential to making human beings fit for dignity and freedom (the Latin word liber means free). They frequently overlapped with the studia humanitates—what we call the “humanities”—essentially the study of what it means to be a human being. Great thinkers pondered happiness throughout history This was the foundational question of philosophy, whose central aim from Socrates forward was the investigation of happiness or human flourishing. It remained the question of philosophy for many centuries to come. Aristotle asked it. So did the Stoics and the Epicureans. In late Antiquity and the Middle Ages, St. Augustine, Boethius, and St. Thomas Aquinas wrestled with the question, as did Erasmus and Thomas Moore, among many others, in the Renaissance. In the 18th century, the great philosophers of the Enlightenment tended to agree with Voltaire, who declared that the “the great and only concern is to be happy.” And leading lights such John Stuart Mill continued to grapple with that concern well into the 19th century. The 20th Century decides: Happiness isn't cool But then something happened. In the 20th century, philosophers for the most part turned their back on the good life. They analyzed language; they thought about nothingness; they worried about alienation and nihilism. And centuries of thought about living well were largely dismissed, forgotten or ignored. A similar forgetting occurred in the study of literature, which had existed since its inception to provide pleasure to readers and enhance life with insights about the human condition. But in the 20th century, in the shadow of the Holocaust and two world wars, the study of literature was transformed into a negative affair. In such a climate, the positive seemed glib. Convinced that pain alone was profound and positive emotion somehow superficial and trite, academics across the world took the joy out of the novel, play, and poem, forgetting in the process to stress the themes that were always there between the pages: optimism and resilience, hope and forgiveness, gratitude and altruism, kindness, laughter, wonder and just plain fun. The dismal science It would be easy to trace this negative turn in other disciplines in the liberal arts and the humanities. Economics, which emerged in the 18th century to maximize the greatest happiness for the greatest number, became in the hands of its descendants the “dismal science,” devoted to maximizing profits. Politics, too, got caught up in the pursuit of power at the expense of the pursuit of happiness. Even the venerable discipline of history, whose very first document—The History of Herodotus—begins with an inquiry about the happiest man in the world, was transformed into a long chronicle of cruelty, oppression, injustice and not much else. “There is no document of civilization that is not at the same time a document of barbarism,” the influential critic Walter Benjamin declared. Not much room for happiness in that. A new look at the positive humanities Fortunately, with the dawn of the 21st century, things have begun to change, with students of the liberal arts and humanities today actively reclaiming their historic mission to examine and cultivate the good life. Similar to the shift in psychology in recent years toward a positive psychology that seeks to understand well-being and not simply disease, humanists are moving toward a “positive humanities,” which would draw out and focus on those aspects of the liberal arts that are of benefit to human flourishing and provide insight and guidance about how to live. Philosophers have begun to re-engage with the question of happiness and well-being. Students of literature are studying the great novels and poems of the world through the lens of happiness, drawing out themes that reckon not only with tragedy but with triumph and joy. For some time now, leading scholars in economics and politics have been pursuing gross national happiness in their works. And even historians have begun to write histories of happiness and positive emotion, making clear that the record of human achievement can inspire more than just despair. Optimism, hope and imagination The aim of this collective work is not to ignore suffering, as if life were just one big bowl of cherries, but rather to balance out the negative by drawing attention to the positive. The liberal arts provide a vast repository of wisdom about human well-being, and the positive humanities aim to bring its treasures back into view. Thus a recent anthology On Human Flourishing gathers classics of the world’s poetic heritage around themes such as insight, pride, self-love and resilience, ecstasy, elevation and rapture, consciousness expansion and growth, inspiration and imagination, optimism, idealism, and hope, wonder and awe, vitality and mindfulness, compassion, serenity, justice, and self-determination. The poets of the world have had deep and inspiring things to say about all these matters, and much besides. It is hardly barbaric to read their work with wonder and a smile. If the liberal arts can continue to return to its core mission of helping human beings to live well, then surely the richest civilization in the history of humanity can afford them. Happiness may be a luxury, but it is one that we all deserve. Darrin M. McMahon is a historian, author, and public speaker, who lives in Somerville, Massachusetts and is a Professor of History at Dartmouth College. He is the author of Happiness: A History, which has been translated into 12 languages and was awarded Best Books of the Year honors for 2006 by the New York Times, The Washington Post, the Library Journal, and Slate Magazine.
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Barbara Fredrickson on Relationships and Love

Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., serves as the president of the International Positive Psychology Association and is considered one of the most highly cited scholars in the field of psychology today. Her research reveals how micro-moments of love and other forms of positivity nourish your health, wisdom and longevity. In this episode, Live Happy co-founder and Editorial Director Deborah K. Heisz talks with Barbara on one of ten practices for choosing joy—relationships and love. What you'll learn in this podcast: The importance of day-to-day positive emotions The bar for experiencing love is lower than you think Simple steps to take to unlock more positivity in your daily life Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Purchase Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy Take the free online course on positive psychology Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!
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28 Days of Love

Make February a month of love!We continue our Year of Happiness with 28 days of love. Pick and choose your favorite ideas from our list of things to do, watch, read, contemplate…and share! 1. Read anything by Nicholas Sparks. 2. Listen to"I Melt with You” by Modern English. 3. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” —Lao Tzu 4. Listen to "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros 5. Clip out a “Love Is…” cartoon. 6. Watch Hachi: A Dog's Tale 7. Listen to “The Heart of Life” by John Mayer 8. “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” —Martin Luther King Jr. 9. Order a heart-shaped pizza for the family. 10. Listen to “All You Need Is Love” by The Beatles. 11. Watch Say Anything. 12. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”—Albert Einstein 13. Leave notes around the house for your spouse and kids saying, “I love you.” 14. Listen to"Your Song" by Elton John. 15. Watch On Golden Pond. 16. Send flowers. 17. Read Chicken Soup for the Soul Love Stories by Jack Canfield, Peter Vegso and Mark Victor Hansen 18. Listen to “The Luckiest” by Ben Folds 19. Make your spouse’s or friend’s favorite meal for them. 20. “We love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving.” —Friedrich Nietzsche 21. Read Love You Forever by Robert Munsch 22. “The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege.” —Charles Kuralt 23. Date night! 24. Listen to“The Living Years” by Mike and the Mechanics 25. Read Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White 26. Watch Romeo and Juliet. 27. “Love is a flower—you've got to let it grow.” —John Lennon 28. Read one of the books from the 5 Love Languages series.
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Achieving Harmonious Passion with James and Suzie Pawelski

Suzie Pileggi Pawelski is a contributing editor for Live Happy magazine as well as wellness counselor specializing in the science of happiness and its effects on health and relationships. Her 2010 Scientific American Mind cover story "The Happy Couple" was selected by the magazine as one of its most intriguing articles of recent years. James Pawelski, Ph.D., is Director of Education and Senior Scholar in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. For the last ten years, he has served as the founding director of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program, the world's first degree program in positive psychology. He is also the founding director of the International Positive Psychology Association. Live Happy co-founder and Editorial Director Deborah K. Heisz talks with James and Suzie about achieving harmonious passion in your personal relationships. What you'll learn in this podcast: Understanding the psychological concept of passion and how it differs from popular culture The difference between healthy (harmonious) and unhealthy (obsessive) passion How to cultivate a healthy passion in our daily lives Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Visit JamesPawelski.com Visit SuzannPileggi.com Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!
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Better Than Before with Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster New York Times best-sellers Better Than Before, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. On her popular weekly podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. In this episode Live Happy COO, Co-Founder and Editorial Director Deborah Heisz talks about the power of habits in creating a happier and more successful life. What you'll learn in this podcast: How to think about your own habits in a way that will help you succeed The common misconceptions about habits How to help someone else change a habit Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Access free downloads on habits Take the free quiz on The Four Tendencies Purchase a copy of Better Than Before Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!
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Find Your Happiness Trigger with Valorie Burton

Valorie Burton is a best-selling author and speaker who helps people "get unstuck" and "be unstoppable" in every area of their lives. As a certified personal and executive coach, Valorie has served hundreds of clients in more than 40 states and nine countries, and is the founder of The Coaching and Positive Psychology Institute. In this episode Live Happy Co-Founder, COO and Editorial Director Deborah Heisz talks with Valorie about identifying your personal happiness triggers, how to bounce back from stress and adversity, and how to savor each moment every day. What you'll learn in this podcast: How to identify and utilize happiness triggers The key to maximizing career opportunities The ability to bounce back from stress and adversity faster Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Take the free happiness assessment test Purchase a copy of Get Unstuck, Be Unstoppable Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!
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