Group of Women Socialize Teamwork Happiness Concept

What Do You Like About Yourself?

With summer right around the corner, are you one of the many women who are worrying about what you need to improve about yourself before swimsuit season hits? Susan Hyatt, author of the book BARE and host of the BARE Podcast, uses her platform to take on the mental aspects of body image to help us feel better physically. And she wants women to stop worrying about what they don’t like so they can enjoy less stress, better sleep and greater happiness. Whether it’s losing weight, changing jobs or committing to healthier relationships, Susan will give you a new way to think about how to create your best life. Live Happy Now: What drives our obsession with how we look? Susan Hyatt: Girls and women are bombarded with the messaging that thinner is better, our worth is based on our appearance and the skinnier you could be or the younger you could appear is more valued. When I get clients who say they want to lose weight, my number one question is ‘why?’ When they answer that question, it’s typically so that they could feel a certain way. With BARE, it’s like, okay, “Well, let’s help you feel that way already without needing the scale number to be something different than what it is.” LHN: You also talk about how willpower is not the answer. So oftentimes, we beat ourselves up if we miss a goal and we say well, “If I just had more willpower, if I just were better at this, then that would work for me.” Why is will power not the answer? SH: Well, I would like every listener to really think about everything they do in their daily lives, whether it’s running kids around or taking care of aging parents or doing well at the office. We do so much that requires so much willpower it’s really this myth that if you just have more will power, you could have that body. What I have come to realize in my work is that women don’t need more willpower, they need more pleasure in their lives. While we’re so busy doing the whole no pain, no gain thing, we’re leaving behind what our body is wired for and needs on a daily basis, which is pleasure. There’s all different kinds of pleasure and all different kinds of ways to infuse your day with pleasure that don’t require a whole lot of time or a whole lot of money. If we focus on that, there’s no need for anymore willpower. Some of the smallest little moves can make a huge impact on your quality of life.” LHN: So how do you help someone identify what gives them pleasure? SH: Well it is interesting that you brought up that question because when I go to parties and things, people are like, “So what do you do?” I like to ask instead, “What do you do for fun?” and most people are like, “What? What do you mean?” So the first thing that I do is ask them in terms of their free time what are they doing? How are they spending their time? That usually is a hint as to what kind of pleasure they are really seeking. LHN: Parade magazine had some really nice things to say about your book and I love that they said, “This is the perfect book for anyone who wants to master the art of de-stressing.” We all want to de-stress, so why is that so difficult? SH: How long do you got? Because I think our central nervous systems are constantly in shock. I think that in our culture we are so used stress just being part of everything we do, and it doesn’t have to be that way. Everything from commuting to what is happening in the workplace to when we turn on our televisions and see what is happening in politics and the news, it’s just sensory overload all the time. So that has become our normal and then when we make these suggestions like maybe you should just sit in the sun for five minutes, people are like, “Are you crazy?!” But honestly, in the work that I’ve done some of the tiniest…my friend Laura calls it simple but significant moves. Some of the smallest little moves can make a huge impact on your quality of life. So, something as little as, “You know what? On my drive to work I’m just going to do it in silence and turn the radio off” can absolutely have a domino effect on someone’s life that is quite amazing. So, I think that when we think about why is this so difficult for me, I think part of it is the lack of willingness to feel uncomfortable for a little while.
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Creating Your Best Life With Susan Hyatt

Do you have something you’d like to change about yourself? If so, are you giving yourself the tools you need to make those changes? In this episode, Susan Hyatt—author of the book BARE and host of the Bare Podcast, looks at how the way we approach making changes has a lot to do with how successful those changes are. Whether it’s losing weight, changing jobs or committing to healthier relationships, she’ll give you a new way of thinking about creating your best life. In this episode, you'll learn: Why finding pleasure might be better for you than willpower How discovering what gives you pleasure affects your physical and mental health Three things you can say “yes” to today Links and Resources Here is a link to Susan Hyatt’s downloadable BARE Manifesto: Order her new book BARE Twitter: @susanhyatt Instagram: @SusanHyatt Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:           
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Find Time for Memory-Making Traditions

In today’s busy world, we sometimes push aside things that are important to us—like family time and traditions. Blogger, author and former teacher Jessica Smartt believes that making memories is the missing piece in today’s families. As the mother of three, she’s worked to build new traditions in her own family and make those moments more meaningful. Her book, Memory-Making Mom: Building Traditions That Breathe Life Into Your Home, looks at how even the busiest family can rethink their day-to-day activities and create memory-making traditions. She joined us on the Live Happy Now podcast to talk about why these traditions are so important and how we can start creating them in our own families. Live Happy Now: What made you want to write a book about traditions and creating memories? Jessica Smartt: I think for a long time I sort of felt angsty and guilty, that I wasn’t fun enough and our house was kind of lame. I didn’t quite know how to fix it and it just kind of dawned on me one day [while] talking to an older gentleman who is on the other side of parenting, how powerful traditions are. They’re like the missing link between what we care about and how to make it actually happen. Everybody has a tradition from their childhood that they remembered. They’re always different and you know, sometimes they’re the funniest things that stick out to people, but it’s really powerful for kids and for parents too. LHN: It falls on the mom typically, to uphold traditions and implement them, so I think when someone says, "I’m going to start doing traditions," they’re like shoot me now, I don’t need one more thing to do. Can you talk about why it’s important to create traditions? JS: Well, I’d be lying if I said that it was always easy because it’s not. What’s easy is to sit on your phone and scroll. But at the end of the day, no one lays their head on their pillow and thinks, "That was a great 20 minutes I spent scrolling Instagram. I’m so glad I did that." But you do say, and I know this from experience, "I’m glad I played that game of Candy Land for the 20th time” or "I’m glad I played catch with my son in the front yard." While it’s not easy, it’s so satisfying. Putting these things into action is a way of choosing the intentional life that really gives us satisfaction and peace. That’s step one. Step two is—I think I have kind of made it a little bit easy with my book—I always say if you’re starting out, pick a couple of things that matter to your family. With your kids, if they’re old enough, come up with a way to implement that. The amazing thing is kids really remember and so they will actually never forget and will remind you forever for the rest of your life if that helps. LHN: What does it do for us as a family when we intentionally set about making memories? JS: Childhood under our roof is so short and so quick. Number one is, you’re giving them things they need with these memories. It supports us, it bolsters us up, it gives us confidence, it gives us a sense of stability and it tells us who we are. It does so many things that we don’t even realize it. Even little silly ones, you know? Doughnuts every Saturday with dad. That’s doing something on a level that I think we don’t always give it enough credit and then part two is, it tells your family members that they matter. For parents who are so overworked and so busy, this is a way of saying I choose us and you matter. It’s amazing, it really works to say, “We’re all going to hop in the car right now and go to the zoo.” Their faces light up like and you can tell it’s like, “We’re doing this together, we matter. Mom and dad actually like us. They’re not just dragging us around because they have to.” LHN: It does change the way that they see the adult world because they’re used to seeing us work and come home and we’re tired and we’re on our phones, we’re on our laptops…so this can kind of changes the way we are seen by them. JS: Exactly. That’s powerful for me to think you know, talk about technology in a couple of years, my kids are going to have phones and they’re learning right now by watching me how to act with technology, you know? They’re seeing if I have hobbies outside. They’re seeing what I do at dinner. They’re seeing if I look people in the eye and you know, they learn much more from what we’re doing than what we’re saying and so this is a concrete way of saying, here’s what matters to us as a family. We’re important and making memories is important and here’s our values. I always fail, I’m not the perfect memory-making mom, but at least now I have the goal. I know what I’m shooting towards. LHN: Obviously it benefits kids greatly, but what has it done for you as the parent to implement traditions? JS: Well, a big part of it for me, as I said, was just making me feel more confident that I am doing this thing, certainly not perfectly, but a little closer in that direction. That’s a really good, powerful feeling that you kind of have, like you just said, your goal that you’re shooting towards. You know it’s been enjoyable. We’ve made some really fun memories and it is fun as a grown-up to do all this stuff that gives us life, like hiking mountains or going on vacation. LHN: You do a great job in this book of giving us ideas. How does someone start deciding what’s right for their family? JS: There are a ton of ideas in the back. And this summer I’m launching a free bullet journal where you can kind of jot down in different categories to what your particular goals are. I would say, just—in the book, you can actually skip around and pick the topic that really interests you. I would just pick one of those ideas. I like to think of it as maybe picking something daily if it fits. Something seasonal, something maybe weekly.…Even just picking two things a year to do is a great start because you get it under your belt, you feel good about it. You are excited. So, I would just say start very slowly but start.
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Live Happy Don't Let Social Media Harm Your Happiness

Don’t Let Social Media Harm Your Happiness

While creating robust real-life social networks can be a well-being enhancer, a recent study from the University of Pennsylvania suggests our virtual social networks can have the opposite effect. According to researchers at UPenn, through experimental data and self-monitoring, this study is the first to show a causal link that an increase in social media use can decrease well-being. “What we found very clearly was that the folks who were in the group that limited their social media use, showed significant reductions in depression and loneliness,” says psychologist Melissa G. Hunt, Ph.D, associate director of clinical training in the department of psychology at UPenn. “This was actually most true for the folks who were the most depressed at the start of this study.” In the recently released World Happiness Report 2019, by 2018, “95 percent of United States adolescents had access to a smartphone, and 45 percent said they were online ‘almost constantly.’” When there is an increase in digital media, especially for young people, there is a decline in sleep, exercise, social interactions and attending religious services compared to those who do not spend so much time in a virtual reality. Melissa says that when we spend hours on apps, such as Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, passively scrolling through our feeds and negatively comparing ourselves to “one-sided” views of other people’s lives, we are doing serious harm to our well-being. Melissa also says the fear of missing out (FOMO)—which is witnessing people in your network having a good time without you—also contributes to negative feelings. “So that whole fear of missing out in which people get very anxious about other people having connections, friendships and relationships that they aren’t a part of is another part of the problem,” Melissa says. “When you use too much social media, you feel like your own life doesn’t measure up and you are feeling that you are not always invited to things that everyone else is invited to.” So how can we use social media in way that doesn’t make us sad? Here are three helpful suggestions from Melissa: Seeing is not always believing. Most of what we see on social media is not real. Not to say that it is necessarily staged, but people rarely post negative images of themselves. We are only getting the intended perspective, and we tend to compare ourselves negatively to something this isn’t accurate. “You are looking at someone else’s Instagram feed and its very curated, everyone looks very happy and they are only posting the photos that are actually flattering,” Melissa says. “And so you get a very one-side perspective on other people’s lives. And it’s very easy to conclude that your own life just doesn’t measure up? It is not as fun, not as glamorous, you are not doing as much.” The real thing is always better. Mindlessly scrolling through social feeds not only wastes your time, it further isolates you from the people you are trying to catch up with virtually. Try spending more time reconnecting with people in person. Maybe someone you know needs a real conversation instead of a virtual chat or text. “One of the things to remember about intimacy is that intimacy is fostered by sharing the bad times with people as well as the good times with people,” Melissa says. “And there something about social media that doesn’t encourage that.” Put yourself on restriction. Melissa says quitting social media cold turkey is unrealistic, especially with younger generations who grew up attached to their phones. She recommends about a half hour day. By spending less time FOMO-ing, we’re are more likely to get out in the real world and take part in activities that benefit our well-being, such as taking a walk or volunteering. During their study, researchers noticed that participants, who were all college students, were amazed to realize how much time they were spending on social media before the break and how much better they felt about themselves after the digital reprieve. Melissa says that some even said they were more likely to complete their school work and socialize with their friends in person.
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Concept of necessity of having a rest while working. Tired exhausted manager clothed in formal-wear is sleeping on a sofa in his modern office

Nap Your Way Happy

If you suddenly discovered you were deeply in debt, would you ignore it, or do whatever it took to get rid of that debt? For most of us, the answer is obvious, but you may be surprised to learn that, chances are, you’re carrying debt that you aren’t even aware of. And every day, you’re adding to it just a little bit. The good news is, you can free yourself from this debt just by committing to a single simple activity every day for 15 to 30 minutes—and it’s free, enjoyable and can be done without any special training. It’s called taking anap. Recent research is shedding more light on the value of nodding off during the day. And now, some companies are warming up to the idea, realizing that a well-rested worker is happier and more productive. These companies are so enthusiastic, they’ve even created nap rooms, which can range from a simple darkened room with couches or reclinersto areas with more elaborate “pods”created specifically for the businessenvironment. But it doesn’t take an official nap room or pod to get the benefits of a few minutes of dozing during the day. Huldah Brown, a service coordinator for Midland Area Agency on Aging in Hastings, Neb., keeps a pillow, blanket and timer in her desk drawer. On days when she’s tired or having trouble focusing, she says a 20-minute nap is all it takes to get herself back on track. Although she used to just rest her head on a pillow on her desk, she recently moved to a new office that has a couch—and her boss encourages her to use it for napping. “I always feel more alert afterward, and it seems like I can do my job better,” she says. “On days when I take a nap, I’m able to get a lot more done—and I feel so much better at the end of the day.” Snooze or Lose Huldah isn’t just dreaming up those results; a large and ever-expanding contingent of experts are touting the value of a nap. Not only can it improve your mood, but it also makes a tremendous contribution to your overall health. And in today’s world, where the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that more than 33 percent of us aren’t getting enough shut-eye at night, naps could prove to be the key to better living. In fact, they may even save your life: Getting the proper amount of sleep improves memory, strengthens the immune system, increases concentration and even decreases people’s risk of being killed in accidents, the American Psychological Association says. “A nap crunches all the benefits of the first and the last part of [overnight] sleep,” explains Sara Mednick, Ph.D., a research psychologist and assistantprofessor in thedepartment ofpsychology at the University of California, Riverside. “I was working in alab [with a scientist] who was working on research about nighttime sleep, and his research showed that we need at least six to eight hours of sleep a night. But Iknew people like myself who were nappers, who thought it didn’t make sense that you can feel as good as you doafter a short nap, when the data show you need a full night’s sleep.” So she set out to research the benefits of napping, and found that it had the same benefits of crucial non-rapid-eye movement (NREM), or “slow-wave sleep,” and rapid-eye movement (REM) sleep experienced overnight, only delivered in a highly condensed form. Since slow-wave sleep (which occurs earlier in the night) can improve memory,and REM sleep (which occurs later in the nocturnal sleep cycle) enhances creative problem-solving, the combination of the two packs a powerful one-two punch that Sara says can be delivered by a simple, properly timed nap. “We have a mixture of different kinds of rhythms in our body and different biological pressures that allow for specific cycles to occur across the day and night,” she says. During the day, our bodies go through a cycle where “it’s a natural, biologically strong period to be sleeping,” she says, which is probably where the practice of taking a nap originated. During that period, the body can achieve both REM and slow-wave sleep. “So you get the same benefits of a full night of sleep in a much shorter time frame,” she says. Sleep More, Smile More And if you suffer from sleep disorders, or if your life simply doesn’t allow you to get the amount of sleep you need, the Stanford Center for Sleep Sciences and Medicine says a 15- to 30-minute nap seven to nine hours after you wake up is the perfect way to refresh—without disturbing nocturnal sleep. A nap might even be more invigorating than an overnight snooze. In 2008, British researchers conducted a study comparing the effectiveness of getting more nighttime sleep, napping and using caffeine when it came to overcoming that all-too-familiar afternoon slump. Of the three, a nap was found to be most effective. One big factor, they discovered, is the amount of time someone has been awake. In other words, even if you got eight great hours of sleep, you might feel the same dip in alertness 16 hours after waking up that someone who only got six hours of sleep would experience. “The thing I’m most surprised about is that in studies, when you compare napping to nighttime sleep, the performance outcomes show the same benefit,” Sara says. “That should open our minds to not only having a regular sleep schedule, but a nap schedule aswell.” That’s a notion Arlene Matthews Uhl, professor of developmental psychology, former psychotherapist and author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to The Psychology of Happiness, buys into as well. Napping, she says, is a form of downtime that allows us to reboot for the rest of the day. It not only clears the mind, but helps our mood and energy as well. On a physical level, she says, people who take naps regularly will likely be more hormonally balanced, and will be less susceptible to the effects of stress hormones, such as cortisol. That in itself is a natural boost to your mood. “Apart from that, it is highly likely [you] will find that [you] have a burst of creativity after [your] nap time,” Arlene says. “And working in a creative state of flow is one of the keys to happiness.” Get (Back) with the Program While naps are a natural biological urge, many people feel the need to resist sleepiness and “stay productive,” even though volumes of research point to the fact that a quick nap may actually increase productivity and learning during the day. One study conducted in California and reported by the Harvard Men’s Health Watch in February 2012 gave subjects a creative problem in the morning and gave them the afternoon to think it over and develop solutions. At 5 p.m., the participants were tested, but half of them had been allowed to nap and enter the REM sleep state, while the other half was only allowed to quietly rest and relax, but made to stay awake. While those who weren’t allowed to sleep showed no improvement in problem-solving, the nappers showed a 40 percent improvement in performance. Similarly, a study in the December 2011 issue of Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience showed overwhelming evidence that a daytime nap helped improve motor learning skills. The paper not only included a new study showing that both short and long naps were beneficial in improving motor performance, but recapped more than two dozen other studies emphasizing the improved learning benefits of daytimenapping. Losing the Sleep Stigma With so much evidence pointing to the value of naps, why aren’t more of us curling up on the couch during the day? It has to do with the American work-hard, play-hard mindset, the National Sleep Foundation says. While many countries, including Spain, France and Japan, see scheduled naps or “siestas” as part of the daily routine, Americans are prone to cram more activities into their day rather than schedule a nap. Arlene believes there is still a definite stigma attached to daytime napping, and it may leave nappers feeling guilty for taking a break. One way to get around the guilt of taking a nap, she says, is to call them “power naps,” instead of the more leisurely phrase “catnaps.” This way, you will feel less guilty, more empowered—and better able to take advantage of the many benefits a nap provides. “This simple reframing can help us give ourselves permission to take a break and recharge,” she says. She points out that, when left in a room without windows or clocks, people will naturally take a nap in the late afternoon—even if they don’t know what time it is. Studies on this date all the way back to the 1960s, when a German doctor furnished abandoned World War II bunkers like small apartments—except that they lacked clocks, calendars and windows that showed whether it was light or dark outside. The study consistently showed a pattern in which participants slept for six to seven hours, and then 12 hours later would return to bed for a shorter nap. What that tells us is that “when [you] are free from environmental cues and follow...internal rhythms, napping quickly materializes as part of [your] everyday behavior,” Arlene says. Allowing that natural rhythm to resume is a way of creating a happier, more productive day by improving mood, skills, memory, alertness and health, Arlene says. Like other self-care practices such as meditation, exercise and mindfulness, napping helps even out our moods, sharpens our awareness and allows us to tap into our creativity. “As a result, our relationships tend to become more stable and calm as well,” she says. “All [you have] to do is experience the effects of not being well-rested enough for the course of a few days to understand how difficult it is to be happy under such circumstances,” she says, adding that the connection between happiness and napping is too strong to ignore. “Maybe we need to invent a new name for it:‘nappiness.’”
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Happy mature woman with flag of Finland standing against the background of a city street and blue sky.

Finland’s Happiness is Twice as Nice

For the second consecutive year, Finland ranks as the happiest country in the world, according to the 2019 World Happiness Report 2019. Despite having recent government turmoil, the Fins continue to dominate the list consistently ranking as one of happiest countries year after year. The Nordic region in particular appears to be have a stronghold on happiness, with Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Netherlands, Switzerland and Sweden all in the top ten. Larger, wealthier countries, such as the United States and India, continue to descend on the list. Anne Henderson, a senior analyst with The Happiness Research Institute based in Denmark, economics doesn’t seem to play role in personal happiness, if fact, quite the opposite. Finland, has a lower GDP than the neighboring countries, yet continues to be the happiest. The United States continues to see economic gains, but social divides, lack of trust in government, overuse of digital devices among young people and substance abuse continues to hamper happiness. While the Finns and other Nordic countries are adept at “converting wealth into wellbeing,” she says, the division between rich and poor in the U.S. “creates an erosion of the cohesion and trust between people, which is so vital for the feeling of safety and security and therefore for the overall happiness level of the American people.” It Takes a Village Produced by the Sustainable Development Solutions Network (SDSN) in partnership with the Ernesto Illy Foundation, the report is a result of three years of surveys from more than 150 countries analyzing life satisfaction and emotions. The overall theme of this year’s report focuses on the important role community plays in our everyday happiness. Andrea Illy, chairman of illycaffè and member of the board of Fondazione Ernesto Illy, stated in a release about the report: “We are living a moment of transition to a new age and this generates a sense of uncertainty. Social happiness is therefore even more relevant, in order to give a positive perspective and outlook for the present and for the future.” Community, or social support, Anne says, is one of six contributing factors that best explains why some countries score better than others. When large countries have a growing fear of having no one to turn to in times of need, as is the case with India, global happiness wanes creating as rise in negative affect. According to the Global Happiness and Well-Being Policy Report, our social relationships are a key driver to happiness and well-being. When policies are created to focus on the positive and quality of social connections, such as creating more green spaces for people to congregate, equal opportunities for all and rebuild trust, counties may see a rise in collective well-being.
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Why Traveling Can Be the Key to Your Happiness

What is fulfillment? I consider experiencing transformational self-discovery and realizing your purpose in the world as fulfillment. That feeling of “completion” when suddenly your body tingles all over in the self-realization that you’ve aligned with the universe. In your gut, you know you are exactly where you are meant to be. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you need to travel more. I love that travel presents an opportunity for people to put their fast-paced, “connected” world behind them and build true, deep connections with themselves by experiencing new landscapes and making life-changing memories. As the host of the luxury lifestyle show, Travel Time with Linda, I recognize travel as the ultimate platform to create more meaning in your life happen. So, when was the last time you experienced “going to the nectar of your being” fulfillment? In the season two of Travel Time with Linda, premiering March 17th, I wanted to seek out the most incredible “bucket-list destinations” designed to inspire and fulfill. I consciously chose to reflect the mindset of experiential traveling, highlighting the joys of experiencing new landscapes and different cultures first-hand that make you feel whole and put life into perspective. From embracing pure escapism by glamping in Alaska, to the private island playground of The Maldives, or maybe learning archery in Ireland’s Game of Thrones Territory; it’s an immersive journey that provides unforgettable travel experiences. So, I have a confession to make: It’s not really “a secret” that setting time for travel is the key to fulfillment. There are many campaigns, such as Project Time Off, encouraging us to better our lives through travel, and according to the U.S. Travel Association, people who use all or most of their vacation days are 79 percent happier with their personal relationships. In a recent survey from senior living community Provision Living, out of 2,000 respondents, 95 percent say they have a bucket list of experiences or achievements they hope to accomplish while living life to the fullest. Travel is the number one bucket list category with eight destinations as the average number of locales to check off the average to-do list. Use this vacation planning tool provided by the U.S. Travel Association to get started ticking off your own bucket-list destinations in fulfilling your dreams and to live happier.
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February Happy Activists

Empowerment to the People

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! On the 20th of each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we’ll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! February’s happiness theme is empowerment. Helping others feel a sense of empowerment can be a powerful thing. In a recent Live Happy article, actress Britney Young, described how portraying Carmen “Machu Picchu” Wade on the hit Netflix show GLOW, really taught her about her inner strength and how much she could help others. “I hope audiences are inspired to break down their own barriers and go after things they have always been dreaming of, or have been afraid of attempting. Because once those boundaries are broken, anything is possible,” she says. We couldn’t agree more. Our February Happy Act is to help people feel empowered. In Paula Felps’ Live Happy article, Shower Trucks Helps Nashville’s Homeless, she tells the story of a couple who started a mobile shower stations for the homeless. The idea was so inspirational, soon, hair stylists and barbers pitched in offering free haircuts and shaves. These are regular people using their talents and skills to help people in need, turning despair into dignity. Look for the ways in your life where your talents to be a source of inspiration and empowerment for others. If you are musically gifted, you can piano lessons for free, or if you are handy, then help build houses with Habitat for Humanity. There are plenty of ways you can help people feel confident and hopeful again. Our February Happy Activist is Luc Swensson from Boise, Idaho. This impressive 13-year-old, has been helping others feel good about themselves for almost half of his life. At age 8, he started raising money for patients suffering from pediatric cancer, and just recently, he launched the I Love This Life Foundation. With this foundation, Luc travels the country encouraging kids to be their best selves. To find out more about Luc and his work, go to ilovethislife.org. For more inspiring stories about empowerment: Stitching Lives Back Together Rowing the Pacific The Empowered Britney Young Find Your Tribe Time to up your #HappyActs game. Help us spread global happiness by becoming a Happy Activist and host your very own Happiness Wall for the International Day of Happiness (March 20). Learn how you can host a wall at your school, business or organization and find out how to create your own fantastic wall using one of our Happy Acts Wall Kits.
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Friends playing american football on beach

Five Ways to Increase the Laughter in Your Life

Laughteris a universal language. Wherever you are in the world, the slightest hint of a smile canconnect you to a stranger. It’s recognized by people and cultures across the globe, from Inuits in the Arctic to Maasai in Kenya. It is one of the most versatile communication tools, and forms of it are used by many different species. According to one study, even rats emit high-pitched squeaks when they are tickled (though don’t try this if you come across one). We are born to be able to laugh; it is one of the first responses we learn. As we grow up, we develop our laughter ability and use it for a range of purposes. In addition to its being one of the natural reactions to humor (depending on how funny you are?), laughter can help in social situations. Think about it, have you ever laughed at jokes you don’t think are funny? It’s a way we feel we get accepted in groups or even show we like someone. Research by Sophie Scott, Ph.D., neuroscientist at University College London, shows that we tend to laugh more at jokes from people we like or who we want to like us. So next time you find someone guffawing at your one-liner, maybe it’s because that person really likes you. The lovely thing about positive laughter is it’s contagious. Think about how many times you’ve laughed just at the sound of someone’s laughter? When we hear laughter, our body prepares muscles in our face to laugh. We are hardwired to find laughter funny. There are a bunch of neurons in our brains called mirror neurons, and they do exactly that, mirror other people’s emotions. This part of the brain helps with empathy and tunes into others’ emotions. This is the part of the brain that’s exploited in live recorded U.S. sitcoms, where audiences are often picked specifically for their infectious laughs. When we hear these laughs, we think the content is funnier, too! Laughter is also really good for us for physiological advantages. As I mention in my book Laughology, research shows laughtercan helpblood vessels function better, lowerthe riskof cardiovascular disease, relieve pain and reducestress hormonessuch ascortisol, epinephrine and adrenaline, thereby helping to guard againstweight gain, heart strain and lack of sleep. If you’re still not convinced of the advantages, you should know that laughter releases feel-good hormones such as endorphinsand serotonin,whichcanboost thebody’simmune system. As well as all that, laughter is a great workout, raising the heart rate and exercising the diaphragm,stomachand shouldermuscles. And it doesn’t end there. Along with the social, chemical and physical effects, laughtergives usmentalclarityin difficult situations and diffuses stressful ones.It providesa perspective that canencourage creative thinking andenhance problem-solving skills. It’s a powerful toolthat can improve communication, relationships anddecision making. The human brain changes constantly in response to stimuli, such as behavior and environment, around us. This constant adjustment is called neuroplasticity—a process by which we learn and evolve. Neuroplasticity enables us to train our brains to use humor to find perspective, become more positive andbe open tomore laughterin our lives. Humor is also an effective tool for interrupting unhealthy automatic responses to everyday situations. For example, during family gatherings where there are lots of different personalities, some of which might clash, try to imagine how a comedian would view the situation from that perspective, concentrating on the humor. You can even use laughter to trick yourself into having a good time. For example, all of us have found ourselves in social situations we don’t want to be in. At first, we fake interest and laughter. Then something strange happens. We begin to enjoy ourselves. This happens because the motor neuron function of the brain recognizes that the actions we’re performing—smiling, laughing, engaging socially—relate to an emotional state. Happiness. The brain, then, creates the emotional response to fit. So even though we may have to fake it at first, real laughs and feelings of happiness follow. That’s definitely something to celebrate! Here are a few practical ways to increase the laughter in your life: Make a conscious effort to go to a comedy club once a month. Make a laughter board for your home or workplace with pictures and photos that make you laugh. Try to use positive language, not just verbally but inyour internal dialogueas well. Substitute words such as “hard” for “challenging.” Be aware of the things that make youlaugh and build a mental stockoftheselaughter triggers to be recalled at stressful times. Spend more time with the people who make you laugh and less time with thoseI call “mood hoovers” who leave you drained.
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Happy young couple hugging and laughing outdoors.

9 Ways to Deepen Your Relationship

I always say the best relationships are grounded in making our partner’s happiness and well-being equal to our own. What I mean is that each partner needs to strike a balance between what’s best for the relationship and what’s best for themselves. This delicate balancing act isn’t about ignoring our own desires, stifling our emotions or even making the other person our sole priority. Rather, just as you’re mindful of your feelings and desires, you should do the same for your partner’s. I call this “partner mindfulness,” and it involves nonjudgmental focus and awareness of your partner’s wants and needs, both in the moments you’re together and while you’re apart. Case in point: I recently spoke with a client about working on partner mindfulness, and her initial response was, “He does him and I do me, and I honestly don’t know if either of us can go back to the days of putting each other first.” I told her, “I’m not looking for you to put him first, just tied for first some of the time.” Partner mindfulness makes it easier to achieve this desired state of being in a relationship. Mindfulness, in its most basic form, is a skill we all exercise when addressing the needs and wants of our children, friends and co-workers, yet many of us put those tools away when it comes to our partners—especially during times of conflict and stress. When we practice partner mindfulness, though, we’re stepping outside our own thoughts and into our partner’s, allowing us to empathize and feel what it’s like to be in his or her shoes. It helps build bridges that will increase our connection and intimacy, lower stress, lessen conflict and increase our overall happiness. In short, it makes our partner feel heard, prioritized and nurtured. Now, I know life gets busy and most of us are juggling responsibilities and feeling pulled in many directions. The last thing you need is one more “to do” on your list, but hear me out. Here are nine quick, easy ways to practice partner mindfulness that you can integrate into your life every day: 1. Be honest with yourself about the state of your relationship. Assess your connection with your partner and ask yourself how attentive you are to each other’s wants and needs. 2. Commit to improving. Take it upon yourself to put in the extra effort and work on developing a stronger bond. 3. Narrow your focus. Clear your own thoughts and feelings and take a few moments to think exclusively about your partner, how he or she might be feeling, what his or her perspective is, and what he or she might want or need. For example, if your partner had a tough day and comes home in a bad mood, instead of thinking about how his or her irritability is affecting you, consider how your partner is feeling and how stressful it is to have a bad day that you can’t shake. 4. Make bookend connections.Make it a point to connect when you wake up in the morning and right before you go to sleep. Say goodbye when you part ways and hello when you return home. The simple act of giving your partner a hug or a kiss hello and goodbye allows you to focus on each other and your relationship for a moment. 5. Let your partner know what you appreciate about him or her. Take the time to acknowledge the good. 6. Be compassionate. If your partner is in a bad mood or is having a tough time connecting with you, approach him or her with compassion and understanding instead of disappointment or frustration. 7. Respond, DON’T REACT.Pause, think about how you want to respond and then put effort into interacting in a thoughtful, kind and loving way, even if you’re upset. 8. Focus on communication. Be aware of the messages, both verbal and nonverbal, you’re sending and make sure you’re mindful of your partner’s feelings. 9. Strike a balance. Assess your partner’s wants and needs. Try to behave in ways that take both of your feelings into account. When you’re feeling ignored or dissatisfied, it may seem unfair or even annoying to be the person who instigates this type of change and to be the one who demonstrates more sensitivity to your partner and your relationship. Relationships require ongoing work and effort to be rewarding and fulfilling, though. And when you make the commitment to motivate and influence each other, as an added bonus, your children will witness their parents being great role models and learn skills for successful relationships. So I encourage you to take the first step. As Gandhi says, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” (This article originally appeared in the August 2015 issue of Live Happy magazine.)
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