Ditty about summer

Practitioner’s Corner: Louisa Jewell

What does it mean to put the science of happiness and well-being into practice? Live Happy is excited to present a series of interviews from our partners, The Flourishing Center, that highlight practitioners making an extraordinary impact in the world by putting positive psychology into practice. As we present you with inspiring human stories, we also want to empower you to put these strategies into action in your own life. Today’s spotlight interview is Louisa Jewell. Louisa brings positive psychology to life through workshops, courses, podcasts and, most recently, her book, Wire Your Brain for Confidence: The Science of Conquering Self-Doubt. She is a facilitator of the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) Program in Vancouver and Toronto. *** The Flourishing Center: Louisa, you’ve been teaching positive psychology for more than a decade. Many people look at you as a naturally happy and joyful person. Although you have so much happiness and fulfillment today, I know it hasn’t always been that way. Tell us more about what got you to this point. Louisa: About 16 years ago, I was in a very dark place. After four miscarriages, I found myself in a deep depression. My doctor put me on antidepressants, and I was seeing a psychologist. But, I knew if I ever wanted to take control of my own well-being and happiness I was going to need to learn what my psychologist knew. I started researching and discovered there was a scientific study of well-being called positive psychology. I started reading every book I could get my hands on, and I began to put what I was learning into practice. I went on to pursue my master’s degree in applied positive psychology (MAPP) at the University of Pennsylvania, where I studied with the field’s founding father, Dr. Martin Seligman, and many other prominent psychologists. I read hundreds of academic papers and applied everything I learned to myself and my family. The knowledge I gained transformed my life. I have never fallen into a depression since. Even through my most challenging years, I’ve been able to stay healthy with the resilience skills I learned. TFC: Thank you for sharing your journey and reminding us all that resilience is about continuing to move through the obstacles. From your time at the University of Pennsylvania, you went on to found the Canadian Positive Psychology Association (https://www.cppa.ca). How did that come to be? When I am struggling or going through a rough time, I always ask, ‘What would my best friend say to me right now?’ And then I speak to myself in those kind words.” Louisa: It was 2012 and I was one of only three Canadians in the whole country to hold a master’s in positive psychology. Many people had not heard of the field or had misconceptions about it. I wanted to spread the word that positive psychology isn’t just about happiness, it’s about being psychologically strong, reaching higher levels of performance, being resilient in the face of extreme challenges, persevering and bouncing back from failures, building willpower, managing daily moods and more. The CPPA mission is to disseminate the research and applications in positive psychology to all Canadians, to improve their mental well-being and promote positive mental health. Since founding the organization, with the dedicated support of my colleagues, we’ve run several conferences with speakers from around the globe. TFC: In addition to your work with the CPPA, you’ve written a new book. Tell us about it. Louisa: As I was reflecting on all the positive psychology tools I have gathered, the skills with the greatest impact on me were the ones that helped me overcome self-doubt and built my confidence. In time, I started pursuing everything I wanted to do, without feelings of failure or constant negative ruminations. I stopped self-sabotaging, and I embraced the things that challenged me. I realized there weren’t any books out there for the public on self-doubt that were fully research-based, so I wanted to share what I had learned with others who struggled with self-doubt. TFC: That sounds like a great help to people—teaching them to work with their doubts rather than being debilitated by them. Finally, do you have any advice from your new book that you’d like to share? Louisa: I do, and it comes from the concept of self-compassion. When I am struggling or going through a rough time, I always ask, “How would my best friend treat me right now?” or “What would my best friend say to me right now?” And then I treat myself and speak to myself in those kind words. Self-compassion is one of the most important tools you have. Wire Your Brain for Confidence: The Science of Conquering Self-Doubt, launches Sept. 21, along with workshops to help others manage their self-doubt and pursue their most desired goals. Find out more at LouisaJewell.com. Listen to our podcast: Wire Your Brain for Confidence With Louisa Jewell The Flourishing Center empowers people who are passionate about helping make the world a better place by putting the skills and tools of positive psychology into practice and creating sustainable work for themselves in the field. Find out more about the Certificate in Positive Psychology, offered in 12 cities and online.
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Live Happy's 15 Way to Stay Grounded

15 Ways to Stay Grounded

Walking along a trail through an ancient redwood forest deeply rooted into the rocks and cliffs of the Pacific Coast, I stop for a moment and inhale a deep, refreshing breath of earth, ocean and pine. The quiet that surrounds me is timeless. Sunlight pierces the forest canopy and moves down deeply grooved bark until it reaches the forest floor nearly 300 feet below. By the time it touches the moss and pine needles beneath my feet and sparkles across the brook that nourishes giant roots that seem to have grown since the beginning of time, the constant state of hypervigilance that seems part of my daily life has dropped away, the tension that keeps me ready to run at a moment’s notice has gone and the sense that—in an hour, a minute, a moment—the sky will surely fall has simply disappeared. Gently, I reach out to touch the bark of a tree nearly 1,400 years old, close my eyes and take a deep breath of the richly scented air that surrounds me. Here among the trees, I feel grounded. And I know that I can handle anything. The New Reality Today the sense of feeling deeply rooted, deeply centered and able to handle anything is a gift. Recent economic, social and political events may trigger changes that can come at us so quickly that we run in circles trying to figure out how our lives will be affected six months or a year down the line. Negative noise surrounds us as we become dependent on instant news, social media and plugging in. And that’s in addition to the tumult of everyday life—coping with moody teenagers, watching over aging parents and navigating workplace politics. In a 2017 national survey, the American Psychological Association (APA) reported that 57 percent of us view the current political state as a source of significant stress. “This is a crazy time,” says Catherine Mogil, Psy.D., director of training and intervention development for UCLA Nathanson Family Resilience Center and a consultant for the National Military Family Association Operation Purple Family Retreats. “Parents are stressed, kids are stressed,” she says. And, says Katherine C. Nordal, Ph.D., the APA’s executive director for professional practice, “We’re surrounded by conversations, news and social media that constantly remind us of the issues that are stressing us the most.” Searching for Solid Ground So what are we to do? How—when this fast-changing world seems bent on keeping us anxious and unsettled—do we work, feed the family, get Dad to his doctor’s appointment on time and still keep our own feet planted firmly on the ground? 1. Carve out your turf. Begin by showing yourself that you can make a difference in the world, suggests Catherine. Pick one single thing in your neighborhood, local school or community that needs fixing and figure out how you can carve out the time, talent and resources from your life to get it done. When Galit Reuben realized several years ago that people in Los Angeles were abandoning dogs on the streets in unprecedented numbers, for example, she began picking up the starving and often battered pups, and asking friends to keep them until she could find the dogs a home. Eleven years later, the Ojai, California, mom has built an organization with a network of foster homes and street corner adoption fairs that has led to the placement of more than 3,000 mutts in forever homes. Her passion to help these abused creatures—to make sure they are loved and cared for—has not only rescued dogs, but has also brought together an entire community of caring people to support one another. Read more: 17 Ways to Give Back According to Your Strengths 2. Ditch the online politics. A 2016 survey of more than 14,000 social media users from the Pew Research Center reveals that more than one-third of us are “worn out” by all the political comments we run into on Facebook, Twitter and the rest of the social media universe. What’s more—59 percent of us who engage in a political discussion with a social media friend with whom we disagree end up feeling stressed and frustrated. 3. Manage your phone. Assign a special ring tone to your children and others who depend on you for care and emergency help. Outside of work, ignore other calls that come in, but then set aside 30 minutes or so each day to return to them. And turn off notifications! Any device that pings, beeps, burps and plays the national anthem can drive you crazy. According to a 2016 study by researchers at the University of British Columbia, students who kept their notifications on for one week reported significantly higher levels of inattention and hyperactivity than students who kept their phones off. The researchers reported that the higher levels of inattention predicted lower levels of productivity and well-being. Read more: Are You a Phone Snubber? 4. Sink into the mud. When Los Angeles marriage and family therapist Carly Arenaz needs her own personal renewal after helping clients explore the unique challenges they experience every week, she’ll pack up her miniature Pomeranian—Philippe, aka “the mayor of Hollywood”—and head north to the mud baths of Napa Valley. “They’re unbelievable,” says Carly, as she closes her eyes in remembrance. “You sink into a tub full of warm mud,” and the mud—a combination of volcanic ash, peat and mineral water from a hot spring—gently pulls you down until you’re suspended in its warmth, totally weightless. “The world just floats away,” Carly says. 5. Ration your news. Pick two mainstream news outlets, each from a different political perspective, and subscribe to their news feeds online. Check them no more than twice a day, Catherine suggests, and for no more than 10 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night. 6. Trace your roots. Few things ground us like family. Use online databases like ancestry.com to follow the wild and sometimes twisting adventures of your own. Interview distant relatives and get to know cousins 10 times removed. Aside from discovering where that cute little nose of yours came from—and your penchant for chocolate—you’ll hear story after story of a people who survived and thrived through war, famine, migration, ocean voyages, possibly even a plague of locusts. With that kind of a heritage, you know there’s nothing that can keep you from taking control of your own destiny. 7. Connect with older women. The older women in my community have been there, done that, bought the T-shirt and survived. I love to hang out with them. They’ve tended their children, nurtured their families and supported friends through good and bad times. Plus, no matter what their political proclivities, they marched, boycotted, advocated, visited their representatives in Congress, even wrote editorials for the local newspaper. They survived and they changed our world. Sipping tea under the trees with my 80-something-year-old friends Barbara and Elspeth is a joy. Stories flow, challenges are discussed, advice is given, laughter is rich, and I go home uplifted and ready to solve every one of my—and the world’s—problems. Read more: How to Be Happy at 90 8. Look for a few good warriors. Any service member who has served in a combat role abroad and survived has a lot to tell us about staying grounded during unpredictable events. Attending a community barbecue at the local Veterans of Foreign Wars in your town and sitting down to talk with veterans can be an eye-opening experience. It’s amazing what you can learn when you open your heart, open your mind and sit down to gnaw on some corn on the cob straight from the grill. 9. Ground yourself with meditation. Whenever you feel as though the world’s spinning out of control, sit down, plant your feet solidly on the earth and close your eyes, suggests Carly. Focus your attention on one part of your body after another for 15 minutes. Then open your eyes, stand up and stretch. You’ll feel calm, centered and ready to restart your day. 10. Reach out. “Connecting to other human beings can be so restorative,” says Catherine. So nurture those relationships. When your best friend—overwhelmed by job loss, soaring rent, or just the demands and decisions of daily life—curls up into a ball and cries, throw your arms around her, feed her chocolate, tell her husband to take her camping for the weekend and haul her kids over to your place for a sleepover with uplifting kid movies and taffy-making. The fact that you would do this for her will ground her. The fact that you did will ground you. 11. Look deep. Pick out a group of people on the nightly news who are yelling and screaming about one issue or another, then try to figure out who those people are, what makes them tick and why they’re so steamed. Patti Callahan, a retired psychiatric nurse who was house-sitting in Hawaii for friends last year, was puzzled by some of the presidential campaign talk about how there were still no jobs for huge numbers of people whose industries had been decimated in the last recession. “I wasn’t interested in all the lamenting, protesting and putting people down that was going on during the election,” Patti says bluntly, “but it seemed obvious that [I] had missed something. And I wanted to know what it was.” So, Patti stopped by the local library, ordered a bunch of books for her Kindle and started reading. First up was Strangers in Their Own Land: Anger and Mourning on the American Right by Arlie Russell Hochschild, Ph.D., professor emerita of sociology at the University of California, Berkeley. Arlie had experienced the same curiosity as Patti about why some American workers were angry, so she had gone on the road to Louisiana’s bayou country, a repository of American conservatism, hung out with people and listened to what they had to say. It wasn’t long before she learned of whole communities in which jobs had disappeared, homes had been lost and kids had been robbed of their futures. “I got a vivid and sickening picture of what’s happened to the land where they live and what they’re surrounded with,” Patti says. “It gave me a better understanding.” 12. Practice gratitude. We get so absorbed in bouncing from one crisis to another all day that we never focus on all the amazing things in our lives, says Catherine. So, make focusing on gratitude a daily practice. If you can take the time to say “I have my health, I have a loving relationship” for just two minutes every day, it will change your brain chemistry and allow you to move forward on solid ground. 13. Hold out a crayon. Reach out to children around the globe who have been forced to flee the horror of war and make a difference in their lives. You can donate time, money and talents to organizations like Save the Children. Or, like one couple from Santa Barbara, California, you can get even more directly involved. Robin and Robert Jones, who live part-time on the Greek island of Lesbos, were there when the rubber boats of Syrian refugees started hitting the shore. The entire island’s population turned out to help, but Robin, an art teacher, was concerned about the pain she saw in the children’s eyes. She went home, grabbed blankets and art supplies and took them to a transfer point at the beach. Within an hour of their arrival, she had children drawing and sketching their experiences, which gave them a voice to express their fear, confusion and pain—and a way to take the first step into a new life. 14. Weave a sense of Presence into your life. Pull together a book discussion group that encourages you to explore your inner spiritual life. Friends Mary Karp, Paul Harris, Polly Post and Maureen Glancy are four members of a local Quaker community in Santa Rosa, California, who meet every other week at Mary’s house to discuss A Testament of Devotion, the classic 1941 book of essays on the internal spiritual journey from Haverford College professor Thomas Kelly. The brief pause in their busy lives is an opportunity to rest in the inner stillness brought through a quiet attentiveness to that which is holy. 15. Retreat. Whether it’s a wicker chair on your front porch, a boulder in Yosemite National Park or the third pew on the left inside an empty cathedral anywhere in the world, regularly retreat to that one single place of quiet in which the world’s voices are hushed and your own can emerge strong and free. A long weekend, a day, even just a few hours is all it takes. A few yards from where I sit on my tiny porch surrounded by sunshine and jasmine, the narrow Santa Rosa Creek runs beneath a canopy of gnarled oaks and fresh California laurel. It begins as a great stream in the mountains to the north, but by the time it tumbles down the hills, over rocks and through lush vineyards into the valley where I live, it has gentled to a soft murmuring rhythm that soothes away all my edges. Here, the chatter of Twitter is absent, the minutia of life disappears, and the incessant voices that demand my attention don’t exist. My retreat only lasts an hour. But here I am grounded. I know who I am. I know where I’m going. And no matter how fast and furiously the world erupts in 10 directions at once, the ground under my feet is firm. Read more by Ellen Michaud: Living on Less to Give More Ellen Michaud, editor at large for Live Happy magazine, is an award-winning writer who lives in Northern California. She has written for The New York Times, Washington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, Readers’ Digest, Ladies Home Journal and Prevention Magazine.
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People against a wall reading and talking

Lifelong Education Delivers Confidence, Joy and Hope

Mark Murphy knows firsthand that learning changes lives. His conviction is so strong that the former school principal and past Delaware secretary of education founded a nonprofit devoted to helping young adults become lifelong learners. His organization, GripTape (named after the surface used to create secure footing on skateboards), encourages young adults to pursue learning challenges. There is one simple condition: Do it on your own. Challenges are self-proposed and self-directed and take place outside of traditional schooling. For example, GripTape Challenger Alphina Kamara wanted to better understand the root causes of homelessness. To do so, she created a multistep plan that included running clothing and donation drives, holding a banquet for homeless individuals in her town of Claymont, Delaware, and recruiting local organizations to help host these events. Alphina was successful in completing her project and hosting the banquet late last year. The intensity of the experience surprised her. “My journey was not without its challenges. I received a lot of rejections as I contacted organizations. But I still managed to make it fun by bringing my friends along for the journey and meeting new people and contacts who encouraged and reminded me how many people want to see young people succeed.” In doing her project, Alphina not only learned about homelessness, she gained confidence. It made me feel like I was more capable of doing more things,” she says. “The results were fascinating and empowering in a way I never could have imagined.” Through GripTape, Mark wants to create a generation of lifelong learners like Alphina, individuals with the unfailing agency to make intentional choices about what and how they learn. Why is that such an important skill heading into adulthood? Mark’s research and personal experience show that being committed to learning beyond our school years helps individuals develop both their sense of self-worth and their problem-solving skills. Something special happens when people construct their own learning paths, he says. “At GripTape, people experience the deep sense of fulfillment and accomplishment that comes with engaging in learning in its most relevant and authentic manner.” Mark believes that when we improve our knowledge and craft, our hearts and minds open in new ways. Creative juices flow. We see a new world of possibilities. As working adults with family responsibilities and busy lives, it is easy to get so caught up in the day-to-day that we feel we don’t have time to breathe, let alone to learn something new. Yet, as Alphina says, “If we are not learning, we are not growing.” Benefits of an Active Mind Scientists confirm that lifelong learning is associated with greater life satisfaction and a sense of optimism and engagement. According to the VIA Institute on Character, adults who are learning something new—by taking a class, pursuing a hobby or reading every day—report less stress and greater feelings of hope and purpose. Ryan Niemiec, Psy.D.,VIA’s director of education, explains that researchers have identified love of learning as a character strength whose expression is consistently linked to positive outcomes for oneself and others. These outcomes are present across cultures and countries and include a boost in one’s sense of possibility, an increase in seeking and accepting challenges, and aging in a healthy and productive way. Individuals who love learning are more motivated to persist through challenges, setbacks and negative feedback, Ryan says. One such individual is Byrd Helguera, age 89. More than 70 years after graduating from high school, Byrd is still intent on learning and takes regular classes at Vanderbilt University in Nashville. She’s so hooked she doesn’t even take the summers off. Understanding history, in particular, gives her perspective on an ever-changing world and keeps her engaged and interested in her place in it. “It’s good for us to know how we got here and to consider what other people are thinking and talking about. It’s really quite valuable to all of us.” The classes, which are taught by Vanderbilt professors, are part of the national Osher Lifelong Learning Institutes program. Byrd has studied literature, history, astronomy, psychology and many other topics. “I grew up in a family of teachers and my husband was a professor of history,” says Byrd, the former associate director of Vanderbilt’s Medical Center Library. “I’m always doing something to keep my mind busy. If I’m not reading, I’m playing Scrabble or doing crossword puzzles or that sort of thing.” She also belongs to a book club and writers group. “I think keeping your brain active is important to having a happy life,” she says. Ryan explains why that is. “When adults have a passion for learning, they stay open to new knowledge, rather than being stuck in a know-it-all mode. This helps us see new opportunities for ourselves—who knows what our passion for learning might lead us to in the future?” Researchers are still piecing together the links between learning, life satisfaction and having a sense of possibility. We do know that the hippocampus, an area of the brain essential to learning and related to forming and retrieving long -term memories, also plays a role in mood regulation and in our ability to imagine new situations. The hippocampus is of great interest to neuroscientists because it is where adults generate new neurons throughout their life spans. Read more: Never Stop Learning What Happens to Our Brains When We Learn? As evolutionary biologist Alison Pearce Stevens, Ph.D., has written in Science News for Students, learning physically rewires the brain. Alison explains that the millions of neurons in our brains speak to each other via chemical and electrical signals. When we learn something new and the information becomes part of long-term memory, the neurons involved in the task become more efficient at talking to each other. As they work together, their communication pathways become faster and form networks. The result is that we improve our understanding or physical skill. Scientists no longer believe that adult brains are unchangeable or in decline with age. Instead, they now know that our brains can undergo remarkable amounts of reorganization at any age. Brain plasticity, the ability to build new neurons and neural connections—that is, to change and grow—persists throughout our lives. Lara Boyd, Ph.D., is uncovering ways to harness the power of neuroplasticity to create more effective rehabilitation for victims of stroke and other brain trauma. Lara’s work as director of the Brain Behaviour Laboratory at the University of British Columbia and the Canada Research Chair in the Neurobiology of Motor Learning shows that our brains have an extraordinary capacity for change and that every experience or stimulus we encounter reorganizes our neurons. In fact, Lara would say that after reading this article, your brain will literally not be the same. Lara believes that maintaining neuroplasticity throughout adulthood is vital both to our survival and sense of fulfillment. “Learning is the key to managing our rapidly changing culture. We must keep learning in order to keep up with technology, our kids and our grandchildren,” she says. Learning is the key to managing our rapidly changing culture. We must keep learning in order to keep up with technology, our kids and our grandchildren,” Laura says. The challenge is part of the benefit, Lara says. “Learning becomes hard when we are challenging ourselves at a level that is just beyond our ability. Learning difficult tasks slows down the rate of change in behavior. This is why it feels hard. But it also increases the amount of brain plasticity.” She applies the insights of her research to her own life by making a daily effort to cultivate conditions that she and other neuroscientists know optimize brain plasticity. These include exercising regularly, sleeping seven to eight hours a night and engaging in daily mindfulness practice. Lara also prioritizes learning at work and in her free time. “Because of the rapid changes in how we map and study the brain, I am constantly learning new imaging approaches. These can be quite technological and a bit tricky, but I love challenging myself to figure them out. I am also always reading books [that have] nothing to do with my work.” Learning How to Learn With all the benefits ascribed to engaging in lifelong learning, it is no surprise that “Learning How to Learn” is one of the most popular and highest ranked massive open online courses (MOOCs) in the world, according to ClassCentral.com, a website devoted to reviews of online courses. More than 1.6 million students have completed the course. Learning How to Learn was developed and is taught by Terrence Sejnowski, Ph.D., head of the computational neurobiology lab and Francis Crick Chair at the Salk Institute, and Barbara Oakley, Ph.D., the Ramón y Cajal Distinguished Scholar of Global Digital Learning at McMaster University and a professor of engineering at Oakland University. Barbara is also author of several books, including A Mind for Numbers and Mindshift. In 2017, Terrence and Barbara followed up their successful Learning How to Learn MOOC by designing and launching a new online course called Mindshift based on Barbara’s book. Barbara went from being a failing math student in high school to earning graduate degrees in engineering and eventually becoming a college professor teaching complicated mathematical and technical concepts to others. When Barbara’s students asked how she managed to change her brain so drastically, she began seeking an answer. She spoke with engineers, cognitive scientists and neuroscientists such as Terrence. She realized that there are distinct techniques that many mathematicians and scientists use to master technical or abstract material. Barbara explains that the main message she and Terrence communicate to their students is that learning is always possible. “There are tricks and tools anyone can use to learn material that is novel to them. There is enormous possibility in how you can change as a person.” Ready to grow? Get started with the following guidelines. Tip No. 1: Think of learning as a lifestyle. As Alphina and other participants in GripTape’s Challenges can attest, learning in its most powerful and lifelong sense is much more than studying a book or sitting in a class. Matthias Gruber and his colleagues at the Center for Neuroscience at the University of California, Davis have found that being curious enables learning. Being curious sparks the physical changes in the brain that enable learning and make subsequent learning rewarding. Barbara says that being a lifelong learner “is to create your own process for acquiring knowledge and skills and actively live that process in some way every day.” Learning can be a grand project involving intense focus on one subject or skill, or it can be as simple as paying attention and asking questions about the things that you see around you. Tip No. 2: Work with your brain, not against it. In their courses, Terrence and Barbara talk about balancing the use of a diffuse and focused state of mind when trying to understand something new, especially if it is complex and technical. A diffuse state of mind is free flowing and looks for the big picture. In doing so, it enables more random connections. A focused state of mind is hyper-attentive and task-oriented. It concentrates on ordering details and blocks out extraneous information. A diffuse state of mind might help you brainstorm what to make for dinner. A focused state helps you make the shopping list and follow the recipe. In learning complex information, we need to employ both a diffuse and focused mind. The trick is knowing when to employ which mode and giving yourself the time and opportunity to switch between them. Our brains approach novel information by first trying to integrate it into our existing knowledge—a set of connections and neural networks we already have in place. When our brains cannot find any connections, we may start to struggle and get frustrated. Our initial reaction is to try harder to make a connection using our focused, detailed-oriented minds. But it is often better to back off and let the details be in our subconscious so that new neural connections can be made. Stepping back and explicitly not thinking about a topic gives the new material a chance to sink in and enables our brains to go into diffuse mode and find novel ways to connect. This is why we often suddenly think of a solution to a problem or figure something out while in the shower or taking a long walk. Tip No. 3: Rethink failure. One of the most persistent and powerful roadblocks Barbara sees in adults is a fear of failure. We tie our self-esteem to getting things right and making the grade, rather than taking pride in our persistence. At a deep level, many of us are reticent to learn something new because we are afraid of not being good at whatever we’re trying to learn. For many of us, it is hard to overcome a fundamental fear of making a fool of ourselves. We want to get things right because that was what was most often rewarded in school. We may feel pain, shame and guilt at our mistakes. Barbara reminds her students that great learners possess a general openness to letting experiences shape and affect them. They head into any undertaking with the thrill of discovery. And they have no prejudice or predetermined conceptions of the potential outcome of their experiences. With this mindset, failure can become a lot less scary. Lara’s research at the Brain Behaviour Laboratory shows that if our goal is to reap the health benefits and adaptability that comes with learning, our stumbles and failures may be the best thing for us. This is because encountering difficulty and failure encourages brain plasticity. From a neurogenesis standpoint, they are at least as valuable as our successes, if not more so. Tip No. 4: Be prepared to feel like an impostor, and then get over it. In a class, we might worry that everyone else is getting it and we are falling behind. Or we might convince ourselves that we will never be any good at the hobby we’ve taken up, or that we are not serious students or our efforts are not valid if we are doing something just for fun. Barbara says we should embrace our inner imposters. She explains, “You don’t realize you actually have something very valuable. You have a beginner’s mind that enables you to step back and be more flexible. [In learning], many more problems actually come from being overconfident than being underconfident.” Barbara might say that no true master ever feels complete in his or her knowledge. Rather, they feel engaged and energized by their learning process. Mastery is not a static end state, but a high level of ability to find ways to refine one’s knowledge and skills. This spring, Alphina achieved another milestone, giving a TEDx Talk on what it means to give young people the keys to their own learning. In her talk, Alphina spoke about the power of embracing learning in its messiest, most personal and broadest sense. Through GripTape, Alphina and her peers have learned one of life’s (and neuroscience’s) most meaningful lessons. We limit ourselves when we think that education fits neatly into a box and that it only takes place for the 12 or 16 years most of us are in school. Education at its best and most powerful is a lifelong process. Knowing this, Alphina challenges learners of all ages to ask ourselves: “What are you learning that keeps you inspired and hungry for more?” Read more: 4 Ways to Stay Engaged With Lifelong Learning —Live Happy Science Editor Paula Felps contributed to this feature. Jennifer Wheary, Ph.D., researches and writes about the possibilities of education for improving lives.
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Two high school girls studying

Two Books Teach Teens to Be Happier, More Resilient

Is there any time in life when perseverance and self-control are more crucial—and yet less in abundance—than during the teenage years? In adolescence, brains go through changes that can make teens act impulsively. Meanwhile, changes in hormones cause moods and emotions to go haywire. How can positive psychology fit into this chaotic mix to help teens regain a sense of balance and purpose during this confusing time? Two new positive psychology books have recently emerged that are aimed squarely at teenagers—perhaps the people who need it the most. The Grit Guide for Teens by Caren Baruch-Feldman, Ph.D., inspired by Angela Duckworth and her lab’s research on grit at the University of Pennsylvania, translates principles of goal-setting, resilience and living with purpose for the under-20 crowd. Instead of making teens wade through pages of research, stats and tables, the workbook offers quick explanations of concepts followed by hands-on exercises that bring the ideas to life. Molly Dahl’s Youth Positive is also a hands-on workbook, but it addresses many different aspects of positive psychology. Aimed at the high school level—primarily 11th and 12th grades—it is already being used as a teaching tool in many classrooms in Nevada and California. Author’s gritty success Before writing The Grit Guide for Teens, Caren, an energetic school and clinical psychologist in New York, always saw herself as a gritty person. “I had always been very gritty about academics,” she says, “but not in terms of my wellness.” A few years ago, Caren decided to put her own grit to the test. Using a combination of goal-theory, CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and every other bit of willpower and grit research she could get her hands on, she used herself as a grit-and-purpose guinea pig and succeeded in losing 25 pounds. Her greatest asset was “coming from ‘a place of yes.’” Meaning, focusing on the benefits of losing weight as opposed to the deficits of dieting. On her blog, Caren began to write about issues such as, “How do you actually get people to make a goal, stick to a goal, and achieve a goal?” She found it was easier coming from “a place of yes.” As a school psychologist, her first instinct was to bring what she had learned to young people. Changes in the classroom Youth Positive author Molly also was eager to share her findings with students. She was an educator for 15 years who decided to get a certificate in positive psychology from the Wholebeing Institute. “I just started to feed little parts of what I was learning to my students and they loved it,” she says. So during her last two years of teaching, Molly began adding positive psychology into her regular curriculum, “and their scores went up across the board for all of my classes.” Pretty soon students and faculty alike were clamoring for a book. Teens need positive psychology, she says, “because they are so bored in school. They get really interested when someone asks, ‘Tell me the best thing about you.’ All their lights go on.” She believes that giving them tools early on will help them make better life decisions. Caren, author of The Grit Guide, agrees. “I have two teens myself,” she says. “I feel like there is a lot of anxiety for teenagers today; the world feels very competitive and tough. This generation everything feels like everything needs to be immediate and now. The whole idea of waiting for something has been eliminated.” According to Caren, working on grit can help teens develop delayed gratification. “They need help working on the long-term planning and goal-setting part of their brains. This is really important.” How can teens become more gritty? One problem a lot of psychologists have with the concept of grit is that it often seems like it’s something you are either born with, or not. You either eat that marshmallow right away, or you don’t. But Caren sees it differently. Here are the three ways she recommends that teens can develop grit: Mindset: Work on having a positive mindset, being able to see the positive in something. Having a failure is crushing; it doesn’t feel good. But if you can have a positive mindset you can see that failure as part of the journey and not take it personally. Behavior: Let your behavior reflect your goals; your goals should be: long-term, specific, written down, and you should have an accountability partner if you want to achieve them. How do you get people to think more in the long-term? Eating a donut is easy; getting diabetes is a lot harder to imagine. Write down an advantage card (this is Judith Beck’s concept). What are the advantages to this goal? For example, I am going to commit to reading so that my reading score can get higher. Team: Find a supportive group. Gritty people accomplish goals from a sense of purpose, for themselves and for other people. When we surround ourselves with gritty people, we can pick ourselves up when we encounter obstacles. Surround yourself with positive people who support your goals. Schools and parents need to be “grit cheerleaders.” A sports team, extracurricular club, band, etc. can be your team. Learning their own self-worth According to Molly, some of the most important things teens can gain from reading and doing the exercises in Youth Positive are: To find their own self-worth. To know they really matter. So they can walk away knowing how important and valuable they are and the contribution they can make. To do the “ideal self” activity where you write about someone you admire in the third person and then bring it around to talking about yourself. To learn about self-perception theory. This is when we label someone based on how we see them behave, and we label ourselves the same way. We have the kids start watching their own behavior. How many times do you say ‘Thank You.’ Do you yell at your mom when you ask her to do something for you? It builds self-awareness. Though aimed at teens, both books have resources for teachers and parents in the back—and both could also be used by adults who are looking for hands-on lessons in positivity! The Grit Guide for Teens is available at Amazon and wherever books are sold. For more resources, videos featuring teens themselves and information about the book, check out Caren’s website. Order your copy of Youth Positive, find information for teachers and administrators and find more resources and videos on Molly’s website. An edition for middle schoolers is also available. Listen to our podcast: How to Raise Positive and Gritty Teens, With Caren Baruch-Feldman and Molly Dahl Read more: 12 Best Books for Your Positive Psychology Reading List Read more: Does Grit Outweigh Talent? Emily Wise Miller is the Web Editor for Live Happy. Some of her recent articles include 9 Tips to Be Happier Working from Home and 4 Ways to Stay Engaged With Lifelong Learning.
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Beach sunset.

7 Ways to Beat the End-of-Summer Blues

As summer winds down, so does some of the fun and freedom we enjoy during this time of year. For kids, it’s time to head back to school and activities; for parents, it means supervising homework, making lunches and keeping everyone on a schedule. This transition can cause the blues for children and adults alike. One of the best ways to handle the change is to develop a solid strategy to make things easier and less stressful. Here are seven suggestions to beat the end-of-summer blues: 1. Plan ahead Remember past challenges and think about how to improve in the future. If you have kids, teach them problem-solving by involving them in the planning. Find ways to modify your family’s daily routine, including transitioning to an earlier wake-up time once school starts. Instead of shocking them awake on the first day of school, start implementing earlier bedtimes and earlier wake-up times about a week before school starts, backing up five to ten minutes each night until you reached the correct time. 2. Focus on the positives As the weather grows colder, instead of staring out the window pining for the sun, get cozy in oversized sweaters and cuddle up with your family. Fall and winter provide opportunities to engage in indoor bonding activities such as puzzles, baking and the like. Light a fire, roast marshmallows and teach your kids to make hot chocolate from scratch. Before you know it, holiday festivities will be here, bringing all kinds of cheer. Have fun in the fall by planning your Halloween costumes, begin holiday crafting or even start working on your holiday wish lists. 3. Get the family involved Get together with your whole family to brainstorm fun activities you can do in the coming months. Create a giant calendar and mark off school and work holidays. Then choose dates for fun activities during the fall and winter. Make those activities stand out on your calendar by using bright colors and stickers. 4. Create an end-of-summer tradition Plan a big barbecue with friends and family; spend an end-of-summer weekend away or plan a staycation; plant new flowers in your garden; or clean out closets and donate what you no longer use to those in need. Whatever you decide to do, as long as you enjoy it, commit to doing this same thing every year. Read more: 4 Ways to Navigate Life's Transitions With Ease 5. Make a scrapbook or collage Do an art project with your family that includes photos, ticket stubs and other memories to help document the summer. Put it in a visible place in your home to remind yourself of the fun that you just experienced. (This exercise could also be your end-of-summer ritual!) 6. Work on goal-setting Think intentionally about what each member of your family would like to accomplish or improve on in the coming months. Many people believe that this type of planning is only for January, but setting goals only once a year can increase the pressure on you to complete those goals, and wind up resulting in disappointment. Making seasonal goals is more effective and a great positive activity. 7. Make a fall and winter music playlist Pick out songs to represent the fall and winter holidays or music that evokes feelings of joy for this time of year. You can find spooky songs for Halloween in October, festive tunes to play during Thanksgiving in November, and there is no shortage of holiday favorites to choose from in December. Instead of closing out the summer with the blues, end the season with some proactive and happiness-filled fall and winter to-dos! Read more: 3 Tips for a Low-Stress Start to the School Year Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is also the author of the best-selling book How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know and an editor at large for Live Happy. Stacy is a frequent guest on television programs such as Today and Good Morning America.
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Woman jumping off a bridge

10 Best Books to Inspire Courage

Many make the mistake of thinking that you need to feel courageous and confident before you take that first brave step. In fact it’s the other way around: You have to act while trembling. Doing the thing that scares you emboldens your courage. You must be willing to feel uncomfortable and awkward—and resist the urge to run in the other direction—when it’s time to be brave. Rather than waiting for a magical moment when you feel filled with strength, these ten tales of daring will inspire you to act courageously even when you are afraid. Reading biographies of courageous individuals such as Martin Luther King, Jr., and Nelson Mandela stirs and inspires our souls, and we recommend those books as well. But because the achievements of these icons can seem so far beyond our own capabilities, their stories help us dream but not necessarily to act or accomplish. For that we need to start a bit closer to earth—with books written by “ordinary” human beings or spiritual teachers, filled with well-chosen words of motivation and inspiration, laced with the humility and wisdom that comes from having lived and learned. By reading these books we might even find the hero inside ourselves. 1. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead by Brene Brown, Ph.D. Theodore Roosevelt once famously said, “It is not the critic who counts…the credit belongs to the man…in the arena.” In Daring Greatly, professor at University of Houston and motivational speaker and writer Brene Brown challenges readers to take the risk and step into the arena—whatever that may be for each person. Discover that vulnerability is not weakness, it is actually the quickest path to courage. By daring greatly and sharing our feelings and experiences, Brene writes, we find a life of meaning and common humanity. Inspiring words: “Sometimes when we dare to walk into the arena the greatest critic we face is ourselves.” 2. Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man and Life’s Greatest Lesson by Mitch Albom Newspaper sports columnist and author Mitch Albom had a college professor named Morrie Schwartz, who was also a trusted mentor. Finding him 20 years later, Mitch chronicles the life wisdom and insights Morrie shares with him during his last few months of life. Morrie’s treasured advice comes as gifts of courage to every reader: “Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied. You won’t be envious. You won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you will be overwhelmed with what comes back.” Inspiring words: “The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say, if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it.” 3. The Light of the World: A Memoir by Elizabeth Alexander When acclaimed poet and Pulitzer Prize finalist Elizabeth Alexander suddenly loses her husband, she strikes out on a quest for meaning, reflecting on her love story and devastating loss. This beautiful memoir reminds us of life’s most important blessings of love, art, family and community. Inspiring words: “Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don’t let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand.” 4. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch was diagnosed with terminal cancer when he gave his last lecture, “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.” A wonderful book to read and reread, The Last Lecture is about realizing the value of time and acquiring the drive to overcome obstacles in order to pursue your dreams. Finish this book with a renewed desire to really live. Inspiring words: “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.” 5. The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer Spiritual teacher Michael Singer shows us how to let go of negative thinking patterns and expand our consciousness through meditation and mindfulness. Remove the limits of what you think is possible for you by understanding your inner energy. Inspiring words: “Only you can take inner freedom away from yourself, or give it to yourself. Nobody else can.” 6. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi Neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi was constantly striving and deferring gratification for his future until he became a patient faced with a stage IV lung cancer diagnosis. His powerful memoir seeks to answer what really matters in life and what mortality can teach us about living. As one reviewer said, this book will leave you “stunned and hopeful at the same time” with his quiet resilience. Inspiring words: “The fact of death is unsettling, yet there is no other way to live.” 7. The Places that Scare You:A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chodron American teacher of Tibetan Buddhism Pema Chodron writes that we can let our lives make us bitter or make us better. We can hide with fear or we can evolve to more compassionate and kind people. Awaken to the goodness in you and connect with others by accepting yourself and your imperfections. Inspiring words: “To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.” 8. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho Writer and philosopher Paulo Coelho set out to write a book about his own life—as someone who took too long to go in pursuit of his dreams because he thought his dreams impossible. Instead he wrote The Alchemist, a mystical fable of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who goes in search of worldly treasure, which became an international bestseller. Through his journey, we learn the value of listening to our inner voice and heart. After you read this awe-inspiring classic, get a renewed sense of determination to pursue your dreams. Inspiring words: “Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.” 9. Sit, Walk, Don’t Talk: How I Survived a Silent Meditation Retreat by Jennifer Howd In her debut memoir, Sit, Walk, Don’t Talk, Jennifer Howd takes us inside her journey to a silent meditation retreat. Get a unique perspective inside her mind as she goes to battle with her inner critic. With compassion, insight and humor, she takes the reader on a personal walk through her mind and shows us the liberation that comes from accepting our imperfect selves. Inspiring words: “You don't have to necessarily go away for days on end," she says, "but just sitting still and being quiet and being with yourself and just allowing yourself tobeand notdois so beneficial on so many levels. It's kind of a radical idea to do these days you know because we're so busy." 10. #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso Though a lighter read, #GIRLBOSS is serious about empowerment. If you’ve ever felt like your path to success is filled with blunders and naysayers, get fired up with author Sophia Amoruso. Broke and directionless in her 20s, Sophia turned a hobby of selling vintage clothes into a successful fashion retail business. Today she’s the founder, CEO and Creative Director of Nasty Gal, a $100+ million fashion retailer with more than 350 employees. Her success story will inspire yours. Inspiring words: “No matter where you are in life, you'll save a lot of time by not worrying too much about what other people think about you. The earlier in your life that you can learn that, the easier the rest of it will be.” Read more: 10 Life-Changing Books That Will Stay With You Read more: 10 Best Books to Help Achieve Your Goals Sandra Bilbray is a contributing editor to Live Happy, and Founder and CEO of themediaconcierge.net.
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Anna Faris on the cover of Live Happy

Catch Up With Anna Faris in Live Happy’s Fabulous Fall Issue

After decades of doling out unsolicited advice and testing personal boundaries among friends, family and strangers, Anna Faris, the popular Mom actress, producer, and now author morphed her tell-it-like-it-is podcast, Unqualified, into a memoir and advice book, also called Unqualified, debuting this October. In her June interview with Live Happy, she said, “The goal [with the book] was to share my experience because it’s not that different from so many other people. My hope is that people will walk away realizing that so many journeys are the same. My heartbreak is the same as someone else’s and if I have to be vulnerable for people to get that, that’s OK.” As you’ll read in the cover story of the October issue of Live Happy, on newsstands now, Anna has a knack for connecting with callers and invited celebs alike on the podcast that she’s taped with longtime friend Sim Sarna since 2015. She also talks about how comedic roles allow her to live authentically and to forgive herself when things don’t go as planned. Pick up the latest issue to learn more about how Anna keeps her grounding and positivity. Other highlights include: Working Toward Happiness: Find out what researchers say it takes to make us happy on the job. Grounded: How to stay calm, cool and collected amid a chaotic world. Best of Intentions: Intention helps you turn extrinsic goals, like losing weight, into intrinsic ones connected to your enduring passions and principles. Grace, Gratitude and Garcelle: Fresh off her sexy Spider-Man: Homecoming role, Garcelle Beauvais launches a production company and shares her “Self-Growth Library.” Pick up a copy ofLive Happytoday! Find Live Happy at a store near you. Or download the Live Happy magazine app on iTunes or Google Play to start reading the digital edition anytime. Tag us@livehappyon Twitter or@mylivehappy on Instagram or emaileditor@livehappy.com.
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Creative kid

Know Your Kids’ Strengths

Lea Waters, Ph.D., the Gerry Higgins Chair in Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne, Australia, and the president of the International Positive Psychology Association, has witnessed the powerful effects of strengths on students through her award-winning work with schools over the past decade. Lea knew that using strengths at home could be even more powerful and began applying them with her kids to help foster optimism and resilience. Her book is The Strength Switch: How the New Science of Strength-Based Parenting Can Help Your Child and Your Teen to Flourish. LIVE HAPPY: What is strength-based parenting? LEA WATERS: Strength-based parenting (SBP) is an approach that focuses first on your child’s strengths—their talents, positive qualities, what your child does well—before attending to their faults and shortcomings. Rather than putting your attention on fixing what’s wrong with your kids, it’s about switching your focus to amplify what’s right. LH: How did you come up with the strength switch and how does it work? LW: Once I trained myself what to look for, I could see strengths easily and everywhere. This was when life was calm and happy and my brain could focus. However, when I was stressed and tired or when my kids were acting out, I found it hard to see their strengths. I needed a real-time mental tool to short-circuit the negativity. I came up with the strength switch. I literally picture a switch and watch it flick inside my head to turn the spotlight off the negative and on the positive. It reminds me that to be a successful strength-based parent, I need to look at what my kids have done right before I look at what they’ve done wrong. LH:What results have you found? LW: My parenting is more intentional, coherent and consistent. My children understand they have strengths that can be used to help them navigate tough times and make the most of the good times. They can also see the strengths in others, enabling them to form strong relationships and help others shine. My research shows that when teenagers have strength-focused parents, they report better psychological outcomes, including greater life satisfaction, increased positive emotions such as joy and hope, enhanced understanding of their own strengths and decreased stress. Strengths help teens meet homework deadlines, deal with friendship issues and cope better with stress. Listen to our podcast with Lea Waters: Read more about strengths: Put Your Strengths to Work! Read more about parenting: What Great Parents Do Differently Suzann Pileggi Pawelsiholds a master's in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and is a contributing editor toLiveHappy. Her first book,Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts,written with her husband, James Pawelski, Ph.D., comes out in January 2018.
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Woman with morning coffee.

4 Ways to Live Each Day With Intention

“I want to move through life with energy and a sense of discovery, achievement, joy and engagement.” That is my intention. My hope is that living according to it would be the antidote to the uneasy feeling I often have at the end of the day when I flop into bed, filled with self-reproach, and wonder where my time went. My intent is to be guided by purpose instead of feeling that I’m spending my time haphazardly, succumbing to whim or distraction. According to expert Mallika Chopra, creator of the website Intent.com, and psychologist Elliot Berkman, head of the Social & Affective Neuroscience Lab at the University of Oregon, setting intentions can function as a kind of internal North Star, lighting the path to greater fulfillment and life satisfaction. These are the changes I’ve made in the few weeks since setting my intention 1. I meditate (almost) daily. It has taken me years to commit to a meditation habit, but the 10 or 15 minutes I spend doing a guided meditation on the Calm app has been transformative. The turning point was a workshop I took with Zokestu Norman Fischer, a poet and Zen Buddhist priest. “When people say they don’t have time to meditate,” he said, “I ask them, how do you have time to not meditate.” With a regular mindfulness practice, he went on, you’ll have fewer accidents, you’ll lose things less frequently, your focus will improve, making decisions will become easier.” Remarkably, I’ve found all these things to be true. And when I’m feeling stressed, I summon the image I visualize during my meditation—I imagine my breath as a long string of pearls, and it helps me reconnect with that experience of stillness. Yet, as good as meditation makes me feel, I will skip it unless I keep to a schedule. So, I make sure to meditate daily at 11 a.m. with 4 p.m. as a backup. 2. I’ve stopped bingeing on the news. More than ever, I feel it’s important to stay informed. But watching news show after news show wasn’t bringing greater insight into the issues I cared about; it was only fueling a sense of outrage. And though I’m happy to have added the Washington Post to my beloved New York Times subscription, reading either one in bed was only deepening my chronic insomnia. So, I’ve made some rules: No news shows or newspapers after 9 p.m. Instead, I think about how I want to feel—inspired, amused, transported, enlightened. And I choose what I want to read, watch or listen to based on that. This has led to fewer hours with CNN and more with GLOW, the Netflix comedy about a real-life women’s wrestling league from the ’80s, the On Being with Krista Tippett podcast and Elena Ferrante’s beautiful Neapolitan novels. 3. I cook more. I’d like to lose five (or 10) pounds. But resolving to lose weight is usually both joyless and unsuccessful. So instead, I think about nourishing myself in ways that will align with my intention to feel more energized. And that helps steer me away from takeout Chinese food and into my kitchen when I cook up pots of farro and braised Swiss chard, practice poaching the perfect egg, and dig into cookbooks like Paula Wolfert’s The Food of Morocco and What to Eat for How You Feel: The New Ayurvedic Kitchen by Divya Alter. In trying new dishes, like Paula’s eggplant zaalouk or Divya’s sprouted mung salad, I also experience that sense of discovery and achievement that I’m looking for. 4. I do at least one new thing each weekend. I’ve been having all sorts of new experiences and meeting interesting people: volunteering to do kitchen prep at a food pantry, hiking a new trail, taking a class in brewing kombucha, walking the Los Angeles River in a meetup led by long-distance swimming champion Diana Nyad, attending a talk by Noah Levine, author of Dharma Punx, at the inaugural BuddhaFest in LA. Some outings have turned out to be less than inspired (the less said about the mass meditation held at a Conscious Life Expo the better), but I always feel like I’m following through on my intention to step outside my comfort zone. I’m far from living completely in line with my intentions. There are countless ways I stray from the path. But I feel encouraged rather than defeated. I have more clarity about the way in which small things—a far-too-messy desk, an unmade bed—can undermine your vision of how you want your life to unfold, and I think I’ll be able to put some new habits in place soon. To learn more about living with intention, look for Shelley Levitt's feature article "The Best of Intentions" in the October 2017 issue of Live Happy magazine. Shelley Levitt is a freelance journalist based in Los Angeles and editor at large for Live Happy. Her work has appeared in Real Simple, People, SUCCESS and more.
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Anna Faris

Anna Faris Opens Up About New Memoir

When actor, producer and podcast creator Anna Faris, age 40, starts talking, anyone within earshot is bound to feel like they’ve run into a long-lost high school bestie. With no veils of celebrity pretense or ego, Anna (whose name is pronounced AH-na, like Donna) has a knack for connecting with friends and strangers alike by exchanging life stories and bonding over common experiences. Anna—star of CBS’ popular show Mom, voice actor for The Emoji Movie and currently filming an Overboard remake due out next year—is also married to Guardians of the Galaxy’s Chris Pratt and mom to the couple’s 5-year-old son, Jack. It’s hard to imagine there would be time for another project. Just ask Anna Yet Anna, who thrives on testing her personal boundaries, fulfilled her lifelong passion of doling out unsolicited advice to family and friends by developing a call-in-style podcast in 2015 called Anna Faris Is Unqualified. Her memoir and advice book, Unqualified, is set to be published this October. Despite her choice of book titles, Chris is quick to note that dispensing advice is a natural fit for Anna. “Anna is genuinely interested in the stories of other people,” he says. “She always takes into careful consideration the well-being of her listeners’ hearts and gives the kind of supportive advice you'd get from a friend.” A fan of NPR and podcasts, Anna says she devoured advice-style talk shows as a child. “Instead of cartoons, I’d watch Sally Jessy Raphael and was always reading Dear Abby and other relationship and advice columns. I just loved Dr. Joyce Brothers, too.” To parlay that childhood hobby into an adult, creative outlet, Anna ordered microphones on a whim. She invited a few friends over to discuss their relationship trials, tribulations and testimonies but didn’t expect anyone to listen to what they had to say. “It was like a therapy session we recorded.” Within days, her longtime pal Sim Sarna offered to lend a hand. “That was the first time someone, including me, took the idea seriously. We really started from there.” Everyone has heartache The podcast has grabbed attention from several of Anna’s colleagues like Sarah Silverman and Lance Bass, as well as legions of listeners seeking down-to-earth advice. “It’s a chance for listeners to get to relate to people they see in movies, hear on the radio, etc., in a real way. To see everyone has heartache. It’s not exclusive to any one group or demographic.” When talking to listeners, Anna isn’t afraid to divulge personal details or dive right into the chaos, like when she made actor Nick Kroll play acting games with her in a New Orleans hotel lobby before chatting with him about the importance of dating passionate people. The podcast advisers—Anna, Sim and a guest celebrity—also share stories of their own relationship successes and failures, tales of puberty or even parenting frustrations or flops. “No topic is off limits for us, or callers,” Anna says. 100% there for you In typical Anna fashion, she quickly—but naturally—connects with callers to the show. “Honest and, hopefully, really good advice is our goal,” says Anna. “Sure, we’re fun and joke around, but when we’re listening to callers, we’re 100 percent there for them and want to let them know that usually someone else has gone through a similar situation.” The podcast’s success morphed into Anna’s writing Unqualified, allowing her to flex the English degree muscle she built in college at the University of Washington. “That’s the most terrifying experience I’ve had in long time,” she confides. “It made me feel more vulnerable than probably I’ve ever felt, besides maybe giving birth. “The goal was to share my experience because it’s not that different from so many other people. Everyone has had their heart broken or screwed up a good relationship. And my hope is that people will walk away realizing that so many journeys are the same. My heartbreak is the same as someone else’s and if I have to be vulnerable for people to get that, that’s OK.” Read more: Garcelle, With Grace and Gratitude
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