Book cover: Option B

Sheryl Sandberg on Grief, Healing in Option B

Resilience is like a muscle you can build. Only in her mid-40s, Sheryl Sandberg faced the unimaginable. The COO of Facebook and author of the iconic best-seller Lean In found her husband, Silicon Valley executive Dave Goldberg, dead during a vacation in Mexico. He had suffered from a cardiac arrhythmia while exercising. After the shocking loss, she would then have to face her children, her demanding job and her own seemingly bottomless grief. “We all live some form of Option B,” Sheryl writes. This version of her life—without the love of her life by her side—became Sheryl’s Option B. Co-written with psychologist and Wharton professor Adam Grant, Ph.D., Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy shows how the capacity of the human spirit can help you to persevere and rediscover joy even after facing tremendous pain and adversity. “We plant the seeds of resilience in the ways we process negative events,” writes Sheryl. In processing the death of her husband and partner, she found she had to overcome the three P’s that, according to psychologist Martin Seligman, Ph.D., stunt recovery and elevate depression: Personalization: the belief that we are at fault. Pervasiveness: the belief that an event will affect all areas of our lives. Permanence: the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever. “When we realize that negative events don’t mean ‘everything is awful forever’ it makes us less depressed and more able to cope,” Sheryl writes. Studies show that moving away from all-or-nothing thinking helps us become more resilient. “Tragedy doesn’t have to be personal, pervasive or permanent, but resilience can be.” Two years after Dave’s death, unbearable grief still hits in waves, but she aspires to choose meaning and joyand hopes to help others do the same. Here are a few of the hard-won lessons shared in the book: Find hope Even in the darkest hours, you can remain hopeful. “That’s the thing about faith…it helps you know that sooner or later this too shall pass,” she writes. Use hope to take steps forward Grounded hope is the understanding that if you take action, you can make things better. Practice self-compassion Treat yourself with extra kindness during times of stress. Our inner critic can be our own worst enemy. Share your story to heal While not everyone feels comfortable talking about personal tragedy, there is powerful evidence that opening up about traumatic events can improve mental and physical health. Find the gratitude After loss, the emptiness of birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can be especially hard. See these milestones as moments to be cherished. Post-traumatic growth (change experienced because of adversity to rise to a higher level of functioning) can help you gain appreciation for life. Live with empathy Loss can result in a heightened awareness of the suffering of others and the ability to live with more compassion. Connect with others Empowered communities build collective resilience. We find our humanity—our will to live and our ability to love—in our connections with each other. Build resilience together Humans are wired for both connection and grief, and we naturally possess tools to recover from loss and trauma. But it is something we need to constantly reinforce. “Resilience is not a fixed personality trait,” she writes. “It’s a lifelong project.” Visit optionB.org to connect with others who are coping with challenges. Read stories of people who have built resilience in the face of loss and adversity. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing Editor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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Man meditating on a mountain.

Jack Kornfield Finds Freedom in the Moment

Jack Kornfield says he’s never seen a time when people are working so hard to live more fully. But for too many of us, living more fully is synonymous with cramming in more activities or events. As a result, we’re actually missing out on the lives we’re trying to enjoy. “I felt like this was the time to talk about finding freedom where you are,” explains Jack, whose 15th book, No Time Like the Present: Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are, was published May 16. “[People] want to know how to attend to our children, attend to those we love, to our work—but to do it with an open heart and a vast, wide-open spirit.” The best-selling author, and one of the leading teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practices to the West, says, “Living a simpler life is really an invitation to become more fully present,” he explains. “We spend so much time lost in thought, either worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, that we miss out on the moment.” But one day, today will be the past we’re looking back on, and he encourages each person to find the mystery and magic this moment offers. “If we can take a breath, a sort of mindful pause, and say, here I am entering my workplace, or fixing my child’s lunch, or planning my work agenda…if we can take that time to feel our bodies, notice what’s happening out the window, maybe even take a little walk, then we find that we are living in that moment.” Listen to our podcast with Jack Kornfield: Breath by breath Messages from traditional media and social media remind us that we’re missing out, but he says the real “missing out” comes when we’re not living in the present. “Our culture wants us to get more and go more places and do more, buy more—it’s always more, more, more.” The result is that we may be constantly busy but perpetually drained. And, instead of enjoying what we’re doing, we’re thinking about the next thing on our to-do list. “What helps is to understand we’re really not going anywhere,” Jack reminds. “Where we’re going is to be where we are. This [present moment] is God’s gift to us. So it’s not about doing more or getting more, it’s actually being present more.” The mindful pause While mindfulness—or what Jack calls “loving awareness”—can be difficult to master, it is easy to practice, and that’s really all it takes. It begins, he says, by taking two or three loving awareness pauses during the day. “In one minute, you can reset your compass,” he says, explaining that it is as simple as taking three or four breaths and quieting yourself for a moment. “Feel your feet on the ground, be wherever you are, and take those breaths. And then, ask yourself, ‘What is my best intention for this next moment?’ And in that simple pause, your heart will answer.” While this mindful pause will have an immediate effect, slowing down your heart rate, breath and mind, it will also have a longer lasting effect as you begin practicing it more. “There’s a quality of awareness that makes everything go better,” he says. “When you stand still and let the mind quiet just a little, the heart softens, the body is present and your intuition opens. From that, all kinds of possibilities open.” Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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A winning college baseball team.

How to Win Like an Underdog

Until June 30, 2016, Coastal Carolina University had never won a national championship in any sport. That all changed in Game 3 of the College World Series at Omaha’s TD Ameritrade Park. In the bottom of the ninth inning, pitcher Alex Cunningham struck out Arizona’s Ryan Haug—securing the title win for the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers and giving the first-time College World Series participants the chance to raise the coveted trophy. “I completely blacked out for a solid two-and-a-half minutes,” Alex says. “I saw myself on the interview, and I don’t even remember taking that interview.” His excitement is understandable, especially when you consider that no College World Series team had won the title in its first appearance in the finals in 60 years. “From the day we walked in there, we were kinda playing with house money,” says Gary Gilmore, Chanticleers head coach. “There weren’t a whole lot of expectations by all of the prognosticators—we were big-time underdogs in that whole deal.” Yet Gary and his coaching staff focused on factors outside of others’ expectations. “There are so many things that we can’t control,” Gary says. “The things we can, we want to be in complete control of: things like our preparation, how we do things to get ready for the game—things as simple as what time we go to bed at night. We don’t let the situation become bigger than life to us.” Take the pressure off One way the team maintained focus was simply by relaxing. “I don’t think anyone on our team felt pressure,” Gary says. A big reason for that: Gary discovered a newfound calmness in his coaching career last year, a trait he says came over him once he started reading the Bible every day. “I think the calmer I was, the calmer the team was,” Gary says. “There were several times in the playoffs when we did dumb things, and maybe five or 10 years ago, I would have come in the dugout and slung a helmet, let out some profanity and blown off steam. This time, I’d say, ‘Hey guys, not a problem. We’ll get them the next inning.’ ” After a hard loss in Game 1, Gary remembers praying for the right words to say to his crew. He walked into the locker room and started clapping in front of his bewildered team. “I told them that I was in the locker room of a national champion, and here’s what we’re going to do for the next two days.” Gary relayed who would pitch, who would relieve and what kind of success they were going to have. “I knew I had to make them believe that we could do it. We had lost, but we weren’t out.” And believing, it turns out, made all the difference. “Talent is on a piece of paper,” Gary explains. “We weren’t the most talented team there, but we played the best. I’ve coached one or two other teams that on paper had significantly more talent. And yet this team found a way to make it work.” Root, root, root for the underdog It’s no secret that most people love to pull for the underdog. Countless studies have backed up this phenomenon, including one published in 2007 in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. When 71 participants were asked which imaginary team—one ranked higher than the other—they hoped would prevail in an Olympic swimming event, 75 percent said they preferred to see the lower-ranked team win. “People love to be awed and inspired,” says Caroline Miller, a certified professional coach and author of Creating Your Best Life and Getting Grit. “It’s built into our DNA.” She says the inspiration we feel when we see people outperform themselves causes us to release oxytocin, frequently referred to as the “love hormone”—which makes it easy to see why we get so attached to underdogs. This affinity for the “little guy” extends beyond sports. Southwest Airlines, Apple and even political candidates have gained notoriety and loyal followings due to underdog status. That makes you wonder: What if we could tap into the mindset of underdogs? What enables them to overcome the odds, and how can it be developed? In his 2013 book David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, Malcolm Gladwell explains how we often overlook the advantages that go along with being an underdog. He writes: “It can open doors and create opportunities and educate and enlighten and make possible what might otherwise have seemed unthinkable.” How sweet it is It turns out, we can learn a lot from all types of underdogs—whether we’re talking about a College World Series team or two self-described “hippiedippy” 20-somethings with a love of ice cream and breaking the rules. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield met while running track in seventh grade gym class, the two slowest of the pack—quite fitting for the duo, as their underdog status would follow them into adulthood and eventually be their claim to fame. By the mid-1970s, Jerry had tried unsuccessfully to get into medical school, while Ben had dropped out of college and attempted to become a potter—only no one wanted to buy his pottery. The solution: They liked hanging out, and they liked eating, so they decided to go into the food business together. Their two favorite foods were ice cream and bagels, and since the machinery required for bagel-making came with a much heftier price tag than that of ice cream, the decision was simple. At war with a behemoth In 1978, Ben & Jerry’s first scoop shop opened in Burlington, Vermont, and beloved flavors like Chunky Monkey were born. As their local popularity began to grow, the pair began to package their ice cream into pint containers and sell it to restaurants and mom-and-pop shops. By the early 1980s, they had set their sights on their first major market: Boston. As they approached store owners there, they learned that business representatives from Haagen-Dazs—which sold to the same supermarkets—had issued an ultimatum to store owners: If they agreed to sell Ben and Jerry’s product, then they would not sell them Haagen-Dazs, a major moneymaker for the distributors. Ben and Jerry filed a class action lawsuit against Pillsbury, Haagen-Dazs’ parent company, but drawn-out legal battles weren’t a viable option for the small company. They knew they would run out of financial resources before the more established business. So what’s an underdog to do? “Ben and I learned to use every tool possible as underdogs, and the biggest resource we had was people,” Jerry says. “We didn’t have money. We didn’t have size to leverage. We had the opportunity to use our people to make a difference.” And so they got creative. The company launched the storied “What’s the Doughboy Afraid of?” campaign, taking out signs on buses, designing T-shirts and including an 800-number on the product packaging. Customers who called were treated to an answering machine message of the co-founders explaining the situation. If they left their address, a campaign bumper sticker was mailed to them. Taking their underdog cause to the streets ignited a passionate following, and Pillsbury soon backed down due to public pressure. These days, Ben & Jerry’s, which became a Unilever subsidiary in 2000, operates some 600 scoop shops in 35 countries. The company maintains an independent board of directors to “ensure we’re making the best ice cream possible in the best way possible,” as stated on benjerry.com. “There’s a curiosity that helps when we’re in that underdog mindset,” explains Michelle McQuaid, best-selling author and workplace well-being teacher. “It goes hand-in-hand with the strength of creativity and being willing to try new ways of doing things, rather than accepting that there’s only one path to success.” Also key to an underdog’s success is maintaining that mindset even after finding success. “In terms of what we spend on marketing and sales, there hasn’t been a significant change from when we were a small underdog business,” says Sean Greenwood, the “grand poobah” of public relations for Ben & Jerry’s and a nearly 30-year employee. “That forces us to be creative and keeps pushing us to use that underdog mindset in the marketplace.” Ben and Jerry didn’t fit the mold of your typical businessmen when they launched their ice cream business nearly 40 years ago—and it has made all the difference. “Embrace who you are and make that your strength,” Jerry says. “We wanted to be ice cream ‘for the people,’ and not an elegant treat just for some. Hold on to your beliefs. If you don’t like the way the model is, then think about changing the model to fit who you are.” A growth mindset Everyone has had moments of success—those times when we’ve pulled something off that we’ve been working really hard toward. Our brain is flooded with happy endorphins, and we never want the feeling to end. What we probably don’t realize, though, is that the high we gain from continued wins can be incredibly addictive. An interesting thing happens when we become accustomed to success. “Neurologically, it changes some things in our brain,” Michelle says. “We start to attach our success to our sense of identity. Then we can begin to fear if we’re not the winner, who does that mean we are?” That’s where underdogs have the upper hand, since they’re not burdened with that addiction to success. “The underdog mindset takes the pressure down,” Michelle says. “It changes the way our brains are working chemically, and it opens us up for learning and growth.” Taking the focus off winning and instead turning our attention toward learning and development is what psychologists call having a growth mindset—a key ingredient to an underdog’s success. Underdogs try harder Louisa Jewell, a well-being teacher and founder of the Canadian Positive Psychology Association, says this kind of thinking actually feeds winning behavior. “When you’re an underdog with a growth mindset, you think ‘I don’t have it yet. If I work harder, if I practice more, if I persevere in the face of obstacles, I can get better.’ ” A fixed mindset, on the other hand, leads people to believe they either have it or they don’t—not leaving much room for improvement. “When we have a fixed mindset around our talents, then it doesn’t really propel us into action,” Louisa says. “It doesn’t really motivate us toward behaviors that allow us to work harder and believe that we could one day be the winner.” Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, Ph.D., is a leading researcher on growth mindset. In her research, she discovered that high achievers without a growth mindset eventually plateau and achieve less than they’re capable of because the anxiety tied to their previous successes becomes overwhelming, leading them to stop taking risks. Those with a growth mindset, however, go on to achieve high levels of success in all areas of their lives since they understand that it’s best to keep learning and growing. “It’s not that we don’t love a good outcome when we’re in a growth mindset,” Michelle explains. “We just prioritize the learning over the outcome. The funny thing is, the less we attach to the outcome, the more likely we usually are to get the desired outcome.” According to Caroline, people are often further motivated when they don’t quite get to the finish line the first time around—a concept researchers refer to as the psychology of the near miss, which is a type of failure that comes close to being a success. Take Alex, who before throwing the winning pitch in the 2016 College World Series had lost his high school state championship game three years in a row. “That definitely lit a fire in me that hadn’t gone away until that final pitch of the World Series,” Alex says. Like Alex, those who have authentic grit—another ingredient to an underdog’s success—will be inspired to come back and work harder. Caroline describes authentic grit as the passionate pursuit of hard goals that allows us to take responsible risks and promotes flourishing. “There’s a modicum of failure in everything that we try to achieve,” Gary says. “If you stay with it, every time you get knocked down gives you that much more resilience to come back and fight twice as hard.” Underdogs—and anyone striving for their goals—must also have a strong support system, Gary says. “All of us fail at really anything we try to do in life the majority of the time. We’ve got to have help from above, great friends and great family there to support us.” Don't worry, be happy Studies show us that for athletes to perform at their best, it helps for them to have fun and play in a carefree way. “Carefree doesn’t mean careless or caring less,” says Mike Margolies, chief operating officer of Mental Training Inc. and author of The Athlete Within You. “It means you’re focused on being present.” Think about it this way: Top dogs are usually in a no-win situation. If they win, that was expected. If they don’t, it’s a huge upset. Those in the favored position are under more pressure so they don’t always perform at their best—an advantage to the underdog. “An underdog’s confidence will start to rise because their expectations are pretty low,” Mike explains. “That means they’re going to play at a higher level because they can play carefree.” Winning for the underdog is a bonus, since they don’t face the same scrutiny as the top dog. “It was easy for us to play with confidence because we didn’t have that bar already set for us,” Alex says. “We were just having the time of our lives. There were no expectations to live up to.” Don't forget your 'why' The benefits of having fun aren’t limited to sports. In 1979, one year after being in business, Ben & Jerry’s developed two company philosophies: one focused on giving back to the community, and the second being, “If it’s not fun, why do it?” This importance on having fun is still a huge part of the company’s DNA, but the philosophy was phrased as a question on purpose. The co-founders say there were times with their startup business when 80-hour workweeks were the norm and fun wasn’t always on the agenda. The key is to know why you’re doing it. “You have to have a sense of passion,” Michelle says. “It’s really hard to persist as an underdog if what we’re chasing isn’t meaningful to us, because otherwise falling down just gets too painful for most of us.” Whether it’s launching a business, winning a sports title or achieving the countless other goals that lie within us, we’ve all probably felt at one point like insurmountable odds might get in the way. Luckily, lessons learned from successful underdogs can help guide us on our own paths to success. “If you’re going to be elite, every now and then you’re going to have to be an underdog,” Caroline says. “If you’re an underdog, it means you’re definitely not guaranteed a win—you’re shooting for the moon. Everyone should learn how to do that.” Amanda Gleason writes regularly for Live Happy magazine. Check out her other stories The Birthday Party Project Gives Homeless Kids a Day to Sparkle and Make-a-Wish: Where Science and Hope Meet.
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Woman in glasses looking pensive.

Say Goodbye to Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a secret held by many—even the highest of achievers. Award-winning actress Tina Fey once said, “The beauty of imposter syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania to a complete feeling of, ‘I’m a fraud! Oh, God, they’re on to me.’” The late acclaimed author and poet Maya Angelou described the syndrome like this: “I’ve written 11 books but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” While not a diagnosable psychiatric condition, imposter syndrome is a very real feeling, first described in 1978 by American psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes as “a sense of phoniness in people who believe they are not that intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement.” “People believe they are a fraud, that they are not as competent as they appear or as other people believe they are,” says Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., psychologist, author and daughter of cognitive therapy founder Aaron Beck, Ph.D. “People with imposter syndrome tend to believe they have achieved due to luck or fooling others. They fear others will discover their incompetence or inadequacy.” A cause of fear, dread and anxiety High achievers are especially prone to feeling like imposters when taking on a new risk or pushing their abilities to a new level. “It becomes a problem when people consistently underestimate their abilities and feel unduly anxious,” Judith says. “It’s also a problem when they try to hide their ‘incompetence’ by failing to ask questions, seek help and assert their opinions.” Imposter syndrome is linked to perfectionism rather than low self-esteem, but it also can happen in social relationships. “People who suffer from it might attribute their success to luck, discount their own success and live with a sense of dread that others will uncover their real self,” says behavior coach Michael Mantell, Ph.D. Despite obvious success, individuals may feel a strong sense of self-doubt. Imposter syndrome causes people to avoid taking risks and settle for less than what they want because they fear being found out as a phony. The feelings of anxiousness and dread that accompany imposter syndrome cloud happiness as well. Where did it come from? Most people have some insecurities about their competence in various aspects of their work, says Judith. “People with imposter syndrome have achieved what they believe is undeserving success. Thinking thoughts like, ‘I’m not deserving’ is a key distinguishing element between the imposter syndrome and simple generalized insecurity.” Children who grow up in a high-pressure school or home environment that rewards accomplishment and criticizes anything less than perfection have a higher chance of experiencing imposter syndrome. Another contributing factor is having parents who heap praise on a youngster who doesn’t believe he or she deserves it, according to Judith. Getting rid of the imposter By facing imposter syndrome for what it is, you can begin to accept your accomplishments as real, adopt more rational ways of thinking and quiet your fear of being exposed as a fraud. Use these tips to shift away from perfectionism and move toward a more realistic view of yourself. By quieting your internal critic, you can take risks and enjoy the happiness that comes from living your life more fully. 1. Use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques Ask yourself, “Is what I am thinking actually true?” Move toward more realistic thinking. “Look for evidence that you’re really incompetent and for evidence that you are competent,” recommends Judith. Ask for feedback from other people. “[People with imposter syndrome] can change their definition of competence from always performing at the highest level, to doing a reasonable job most of the time,” she says. 2. Talk about it Take your feeling out of the shadows and talk about imposter syndrome with a friend or professional. Seek out people who will support you. 3. Measure your accomplishments with your own ruler Look back on your accomplishments, obstacles you have overcome, results you have materialized and give yourself some credit. Believe those solid realities and not your own bad press. 4. Identify who you are lying to “The ironic part of the imposter syndrome isn’t about the lie we think we are perpetrating on others, it’s about the real, unrealistic belief—the lie—we aim at ourselves,” says Michael. Recognize that you are not a fraud. 5. Let go of perfectionism Stop telling yourself that you must never fail. Says Michael: “Just because I tripped and made an error doesn’t mean I’m an imposter or a fraud; it means I’m human.” 6. Use the three C’s According to Michael, with most emotional distortions, you have to catch your erroneous automatic negative belief, challenge it and change it. Be mindful and aware enough to be able to hear yourself saying unkind and critical things to yourself and then catch, challenge and change those thoughts. 7. Build in unconditional self-acceptance into your daily life Practice rational responses to your negative self-talk. Write out actual rational responses to each negative thought you build around yourself. For example, instead of “I’m not deserving,” breathe deeply and think, “It isn’t about deserving, it’s about actual accomplishment and I’ve certainly worked hard and achieved X, Y or Z.” 8. Think about the value you provide others Shift the thoughts away from you and on to how you can help others. This mental shift can take you out of your mind and into the positive emotions you give to others around you. 9. Take risks and don’t compare yourself to others Don’t compare and despair, Michael advises. When you want to do something big but feel afraid you will fail because you are not the right person/not deserving/not good enough, take that risk and say to yourself, “I don’t know what I am doing, but let’s give it a try and see what happens.” This practice can be wonderfully healing. When you take steps to face your self-doubt and quiet the feeling of imposter syndrome, you can stop letting your fears get in the way of becoming who you want to be. Listen to our podcast: 5 Steps to a More Confident You With Carin Rockind Read more: Face Failure Head-On With These 4 Essential Tools Sandra Bilbray is a contributing Editor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.
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Comedian Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Is Bringing Laughter Back

Humor is arguably one of the most infectious character strengths we possess and can have extremely positive benefits to our own well-being as well as to those around us. The Via Institute on Character describes humor as "playfulness" and "bringing smiles to others." Laughter unleashes all kinds of happy stuff into our bodies, like oxytocin. As with any habit, the more we practice, the more our brains accept it and make it a regular part of our lives. “Laughter is the verbalization of happiness,” says comedian and happiness expert Yakov Smirnoff. “So if it’s a healthy laugh, not nervous laughter, but a healthy, mirthful laugh, it is triggered by humor.” Yakov has been a professional comedian since the 1980s. He often played the role of a Russian immigrant mesmerized by modern culture in the United States with one-liners including his popular catch phrase, “What a country!” After spending decades making people laugh, he wanted to find the connection between laughter and happiness, especially as it relates to relationships. He is a recent graduate of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program from the University of Pennsylvania and is working toward his doctorate of education in organizational leadership at Pepperdine University in California. “In the beginning of the relationship, we will do whatever it takes; that’s how we get to be in a relationship. But after that, we relax and stop doing that,” he says. “When happiness dies, that’s when laughter dies.” He believes that couples can use laughter as a canary in a coal mine—an early detector to gauge how the relationship is going. If things aren’t funny anymore, it may be time to take an assessment and see if each other’s needs are being met. “Laughter is the first thing to go. The second is intimacy and the third is your house. In that order,” Yakov jokes. “So if you want to keep your house, keep creating laughter.” Listen to our podcast, Bringing Laughter Back With Yakov Smirnoff. Read Find Your Funny Bone and This is Your Brain on Humor for more on humor. Chris Libby is the section editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Woman at the gym.

10 Top Health and Wellness Trends of 2017

Step aside, green tea. You’re so 15 minutes ago, paleo. Sorry, kale. There are some new health and wellness trends taking center stage this year. If you know what “athleisure” means (or you are wearing fractal-patterned leggings as you read this), you probably already know some of this year’s trends. We’ve reached out to experts to get the skinny (pun intended) and find out which fun or befuddling health practices will be coming our way this year. 1. Make time for recovery More people are taking muscle recovery seriously after hard workouts, says national fitness trainer and founder of Get Healthy U Chris Freytag. “Baby boomers still love to work out, but I think people are doing things like foam rolling, more yoga, acupuncture and cupping (an ancient practice of using bamboo or glass suction jars to enhance circulation and relieve pain). People are choosing more natural ways to take care of their muscles after a hard workout rather than taking an anti-inflammatory,” she says. 2. The new happy hour Going sans-alcohol is the new cool. Look for more bars and restaurants that feature fun, healthy “mocktails”—cocktail-like beverages made with fresh seasonal ingredients but minus any alcohol. More people are touting the health benefits of living permanently on the wagon and this is leading to social gatherings with a focus on connections over cocktails. Some of the health benefits in addition to no hangover? Abstaining from alcohol can mean improved mental clarity, less body fat, a better mood, enhanced quality of sleep and improved relationships. If that doesn’t make you want to put down your glass of red wine, we found this compelling: Some experts say your life’s purpose can sometimes be masked by even moderate alcohol consumption. Going dry may be the new non-smoking. 3. Fitness anytime, anywhere “In today’s world, where everyone is time-starved, health-conscious, individuals sometimes struggle to be as active as they’d like to be,” says Chuck Runyon, CEO and founder of Anytime Fitness, “our job as fitness facilitators is to help others lead healthier, more active lives whenever they can find the time—be it in the gym, at work, at home or while running errands.” Like other mobile workout businesses, Anytime Fitness has become less gym-centric, working to meet clients where they are. “We’ve also learned a great deal from millennials and that’s why we’re using multiple social media platforms, and a new mobile app, to coach and connect with our members. Imagine providing each of your customers with a personal wellness coach in his or her pocket.  That’s precisely what we’re aiming to do.” 4. A hot mug of bone broth While kombucha was last year’s magic elixir, bone broth, packed with minerals, is the healing tonic of choice in 2017. Mark Sisson, the author of the book The Primal Blueprint, calls bone broth an original superfood. The suggested health benefits are myriad: improved immunity, better sleep, improvement for a leaky gut, increased energy and a more youthful appearance. Mark writes, “A bone broth habit may allow you to enjoy the benefits of a diet rich in animal protein—good body composition, superior recovery from training, strong bones, overall robustness—while avoiding the downsides.” Where do you get this primal concoction? Look for bone broth bars, order it online or make it at home by roasting animal bones—beef, turkey or chicken—overnight with veggies. Enjoy a mug of the broth served hot. 5. Unplug using technology Yes, tech can help us chill out. Start by downloading and using some of the great meditation apps available, such as Calm, Buddhify and Headspace. There are apps that remind you to breathe  and whole gadgets made just to monitor your vitals for stress, such as the WellBe. “People are stressed and becoming more educated on the benefits of deep breathing and meditation even if just for a few minutes during the work day,” Chris Freytag says. Yes, our amazing, addictive devices have become a huge cause of stress and anxiety. Why not also let them help solve the same problem? 6. Veg out and get your protein Old school eating meant meat was the center of your meal and your main protein source. Modern nutrition is all about getting protein from plants. “Plant-based diets are becoming more common,” says Hillary Goldrich, a registered dietitian based out of Asheville, North Carolina. “Eating plant-based meals can improve inflammation, heart health, cholesterol and weight,” Hillary says. “Seeds such as chia, hemp and flax that provide omega-3 fats have become pantry staples. Protein-rich grains such as quinoa, amaranth, sorghum and teff are more accessible. Nuts, beans and avocados provide fiber, healthy fat and protein. Add these healthier proteins to a colorful array of vegetables and fruits, throw in some spices and herbs and you get a flavorful, well-rounded meal.” Meatless Monday may extend further into the week! 7. Don’t toss out the ugly apple Ugly produce needs love too. Social awareness regarding food waste is moving to the forefront, Hillary says. NPR reported that there was enough food waste last year in the United States to fill 44 skyscrapers. “People are seeking ways, on small and large scales, to reduce food waste and repurpose foods,” Hillary says. There’s a movement to love ugly produce and grocery stores are getting in on the love. You should be able to find some bruised and misfit fruit and veggies at Whole Foods and Walmart stores this year. Don’t judge a veggie by its looks. By buying them, you're helping ease the landfills and save the planet! 8. Health meals delivered  Want to whip up some butternut squash agnolotti for the family? Order up your meals and just follow the prep and cooking instructions. “Home cooking has seen a surge and continues to be on trend with the meal delivery service market growing,” Hillary says. “The ease of making a healthy, complete meal in conjunction with pre-measured ingredients and step-by-step instructions make these services overwhelmingly appealing. The competition seems to be keeping costs reasonable.” Hello Fresh, Plated and Blue Apron are some of the most popular meal delivery options. 9. Mindfulness is ever-present Mindfulness remains a focal point of yoga and meditation, but is now increasingly available as an immersive multisensory experience at wellness centers around the country. These spas aim to heighten your senses and increase mindfulness using sound healing, visualization techniques and aromatherapy. The Spa at Mandarin Oriental in Boston, for example, launched a multisensory experience this year designed to “restore health and a sense of well-being,” including sound therapy inspired by the ancient healing art of Himalayan singing bowls. Enjoy vibrations and harmonious tones meant to restore balance and energy. Mindfulness vacations and Zen retreats, once niche escapes for Buddhists and seekers, are also becoming more mainstream. 10. Gym clothes at work? Last year “athleisure” went from being a momentary trend to a lifestyle. Now it’s common to see people wearing fashionable and comfortable workout wear not only outside the gym (at the supermarket, in line at Starbucks), but also crossing over to the final frontier: the workplace. Athleisure is coming to cubicles and offices across the country. More of us are leading active lives and don’t have time to change shoes once we get to the office, let alone entire outfits as we dash to appointments or head to yoga class after work. “Business casual” is about to look—and feel—a whole lot more comfortable. Just think, soon you might be able to wear the same outfit in the office as you do to morning boot camp. “Workleisure” may be the new casual Friday. What new health and wellness trends are you seeing? We’d love to hear from you! Talk to us in the Comments section, below, or on Twitter or Facebook. Read more: 8 Great Happiness Perks You Get From Exercise. Listen to our podcast Mindfulness is Pure Awareness With Meditation Ex Jon Kabat-Zinn. Sandra Bilbray is a contributing Editor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.
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Drawing of a comedian telling jokes.

Find Your Funny Bone

What do you get when you put an introverted mechanical engineering student on a stage telling jokes in front of 150 people for 10 minutes? For Nick Seymour, a senior at Iowa State University, it was sheer perspiration-infused terror. “Being on stage was one of my biggest fears,” says Nick, whose worst subject in high school was speech class. “I am this boring guy who sits in the corner and works on math.” So how did that guy find himself here, microphone in hand, sweating it out in front of a huge crowd? Nick’s performance was the final in his honors Comedy College course taught by professional comedian and instructor Gavin Jerome along with ISU economics professor Peter Orazem. Nick signed up for the class to work on his interpersonal skills. Throughout the semester, Nick and other fellow future engineers, mathematicians, psychologists and business leaders learned how to craft and write jokes, bounce ideas off each other, work the crowd and, at the end of the course, showcased their efforts in front of a live audience. The goal of the class is not to learn how to be a professional comedian, although Peter and Gavin agree that a few students have been good enough to make a living doing it, but rather an opportunity to use comedy and humor to learn life lessons such as how to overcome fears of public speaking, build confidence and improve communication. Not everyone is a natural comedian. In fact, most of us aren’t. But, just like any skill, the use of humor and other techniques used in performing comedy or having a comedic mindset can be strengthened with practice and are useful in almost any social situation. “If you want to work in a team environment and get along with your co-workers, then a sense of humor and comedy training make you more likable and able to create rapport, reduce tension, facilitate communication and increase cooperation,” Gavin says. The World Is a Stage If we are shy turtles, humor can coax us out of our shells. If we are trying to break the ice with others, making people laugh can relieve stress and make awkward situations less so. Laughter and humor are ways to strengthen our bonds socially, improve relationships, lower stress and let down our negativity guards to say, “OK, this is a safe space.” Psychologist Brian King, Ph.D., author of the book The Laughing Cure: Emotional and Physical Healing—A Comedian Reveals Why Laughter Is the Best Medicine, says when someone is laughing with you, your brain signals that this person is most likely not out to harm you. “So many people fear public speaking more than anything else,” he says. And when we have success and the audience is engaging, we are overcoming a tremendous amount of anxiety and that can be thrilling. Brian should know, because although he has been a professor and is no stranger to public speaking, he is also a working comedian who still gets nervous when performing. He knows just what kind of pressure Nick is dealing with up on that stage. “The anxiety that is produced is almost relieved immediately by the response of laughter,” he says. “The audience is putting you at ease and saying, ‘Look, we are not going to hurt you and you are OK.’ But until you get that first laugh, it can be nerve-wracking.” It was toward the end of his final set when Nick realized for the first time that he was killing it. “For the fist seven minutes I was terrified. I really didn’t want to be up there. It is way out of my comfort zone,” he says. “The last three minutes, I hit on a joke that was pretty funny and from there I ran with it.” Reviewing his performance video, he can see the moment when he connects with the audience. There’s a shift in his facial expressions from fear to commanding control of the crowd. “I get really animated and I just go crazy on stage. That was the point when I realized that I have to keep doing this. I have to keep doing comedy, and I have to keep working on stage, working on my public speaking skills. It has been spectacular for me.” Brian feels that same passion. Learning stand-up comedy “has made me a much more effective and comfortable public speaker,” he says. “There are skills that you learn on a comedy stage that really can’t even be articulated, like how to handle yourself emotionally to ways to think about what you are saying and at the same moment pick up on cues being fed to you from the audience.” When the performer is in sync with the audience, everyone benefits. “There is traditional wisdom with public speaking to open with a joke,” Brian says. “It doesn’t matter what you are talking about, it is such a good rule of thumb.” Communicating Through Comedy Peter, who helped facilitate the Comedy College course at ISU, was also once a student of Gavin’s. He now finds joy in performing comedy as a hobby, but also credits it for improving his speaking and writing skills. “There is nothing more scary than taking something you have written that you think might be funny but you are not sure, and getting up in front of people and having to deliver,” Peter says. “Or knowing that if you have something that bombs, you have to get to the next joke to make up for it. It’s a scary thing, but if you are comfortable with that, then there is not a whole lot that you can’t do.” Peter says great communicators work backward from the message, and in comedy the punchline is the message. When we develop what we want to say, we want to deliver the message as efficiently as possible, whether it is in a boardroom, speaking in public or at a business meeting. “You want to get to the conclusion as quickly and as efficiently as possible, and it has to be understandable to as many people as possible so they are not scratching their heads as to what is the relationship between the setup and the payoff.” Before the course, Nick felt he was lacking in communication skills and certain social protocols in his engineering courses. “They teach you how to do the calculations but they don’t teach you the person-to-person interaction,” Nick says. “I saw so much improvement in my personal skills (after the class); interviews have gone tremendously better. I’ve gotten a ton more interviews because of this. It is easier to talk to people; it’s a lot easier to do presentations.” Read more: Yacov Smirnoff Is Bringing Laughter Back Wacky at Work Iowa State isn’t the only U.S. college to use unconventional practices of comedy when preparing students for life. The Neeley School of Business at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, Texas, recently named a local improv comedy troupe, Four Day Weekend, as its Entrepreneur-in-Residence. Through workshops and lectures, Four Day Weekend is now teaching its “Yes, and…” philosophy to business students, a first for a comedy troupe in the school’s history. The “Yes, and…” approach is standard practice in improvisational comedy and theater. The idea is to completely listen to your partner onstage and not judge or react until they are done. Not knowing what they are going to say, you have to agree to build upon that idea. If everyone agrees to the rules, then the activity is free to go anywhere while creativity and hilarity ensues. Homer Erekson, Ph.D., dean and professor of managerial economics and strategy at TCU, says the philosophy is a good fit for the Neeley School of Business because of the messages of innovation, inclusion and hope. “Part of any community is learning to laugh with each other and learning to celebrate each other as people, and humor is one of those vehicles that does that,” Homer says. “It is a community builder. The best communities are the ones that not only do great work but learn to laugh together.” David Wilk, co-founder of Four Day Weekend, has gone from a struggling comedian to, decades later, performing for U.S. Congress and meeting two presidents just by saying “yes.” “We started out bitter stand-up comics who weren’t that successful, and we switched to improvisation and ‘Yes, and…’ and started building everyone up around us instead of tearing everything down,” David says. “And our business, our careers, our lives, everything around us just flourished.” Gordon Bermant, a lecturer at the University of Pennsylvania’s psychology department, concludes in his opinion piece in the 2013 journal Frontiers in Psychology that the most important component to improv is the “Yes, and…” philosophy because of its “unambiguous and complete support of performing partners for each other.” Because of the use of spontaneity, players can also get lost in a flow state where creativity explodes in the present moment and real bonds of trust can be formed. He equates these actions to the concept of unconditional positive regard (UPR), developed by psychologist Carl Rogers, in which acceptance of a person’s behavior is wholly supported without judgment. “Your idea becomes our idea and we both have buy in,” David says. “If we all do our jobs, we all look good. And what we have found is that we are far more productive and creative collectively than we are individually.” Four Day Weekend performs for businesses and corporations across the country, delivering their message of “no idea is a bad idea.” “Yes, and…” is a philosophy, David says. “It is a retooling of the brain to be more cognizant and accepting of others’ ideas and living in this state of adaptability.” That’s not to say it works for every situation. “I’m a father of two boys,” he says. “If they came to me and asked to play in the street, I wouldn’t say, ‘Yes, and…wear camouflage.’ ” Funny Is As Funny Does In the January 2011 journal Communication Education, a four-decade study on the use of humor in the classroom found that comedy can create a positive environment for learning, “soften” critiques and even help with social cohesiveness. Even bad news may not be so bad when told with a joke. Before taking his comedy class, Nick attended a career fair and did not receive a single offer. After completing the course, he got six internship offers. He also now views life differently. He approaches every day with humor and remembers to not take things too seriously. “Life is fun and games if you let it be.” Nick and a few of his Comedy College classmates have started their own comedy club, performing in local venues in Ames, Iowa, and nearby Des Moines. He has been pushed fully outside his comfort zone and is loving every minute of it. “The best advice I can give to anyone looking at a program like this, is just do it. There is nothing bad that will come out it. What else would you rather spend your time on? Is watching Netflix going to make you a better person? This certainly will.” Brian concurs. He says, “Every time I get off a stage, I feel an ecstatic sense of well-being and it’s great. There are few things better than making a room full of people laugh.” Listen to our podcast Bringing Laughter Back With Yakov Smirnoff Read More: This is Your Brain on Humor Chris Libby is section editor for Live Happy magazine. Chris is also the author of Still Laughing and Why March Madness Makes Us So Happy.
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Birthday girl doing hula-hoop.

The Birthday Party Project Gives Homeless Kids a Day to Sparkle

Each month, 31 homeless shelters across the country serve as the backdrop for children’s birthday celebrations, transforming into magical settings where dance parties, spirited renditions of “Happy Birthday” and gleeful squeals combine to form just the right amount of controlled chaos. The organization behind the magic is The Birthday Party Project (TBPP), a North Texas-based nonprofit with event planner Paige Chenault at the helm. Its mission? To throw birthday parties for kids in homeless shelters—an idea that was originally sparked in Paige during a flight in 2008. Running her own successful events company at the time, Paige was pregnant with her daughter, Lizzie. As she read an article about kids’ birthday parties, she grew excited at the possibilities for Lizzie. On the same flight, she picked up another magazine and flipped to an image she says she’ll never forget: a young Haitian boy with sunken eyes, standing barefoot and shirtless in a crowded street but seemingly unnoticed. “Here I was dreaming about all the things I could do for Lizzie, and someone like him will never feel celebrated the way I knew I could celebrate her,” Paige says. By touchdown, the seeds of TBPP were planted. “I realized I could use my talents to throw birthday parties for kids who need it,” Paige says. “I felt in the core of who I was that I was being called to this.” Let the Games Begin Fast-forward to January 2012: TBPP hosted its first party at Family Gateway, a homeless shelter in downtown Dallas, committed to throw one bash each month there for the entire year. Paige, along with her husband, Colin, and a group of 15 close friends, entered that first event excited but unsure of what they were about to do. “We wondered if the kids would even like us,” Paige says. Luckily, the bracelet-making, balloon keep-away and spontaneous dance party helped win over the 50 children in attendance. After the party ended, 11-year-old Micah, whose demeanor had shifted from reserved to free-spirited, said, “Thank you, Miss Paige. This is the first birthday party I’ve ever had.” That powerful moment stuck with Paige. “I knew we were on to something great,” she says. Five years later, TBPP now partners with 31 homeless and transitional living facilities in 12 cities. Each month, shelters identify children ages 1 to 18 who will be celebrating a birthday. Paige, a team of six employees and an army of volunteers—dubbed “party enthusiasts”—then plan a group party, complete with an individual cake and gift for each birthday boy or girl. All of the children staying at the shelter, as well as parents of the guests of honor, are invited to attend the one-hour celebrations. Annie Fernandez, director of magic for TBPP, devises each month’s party theme: “Art Party,” “Mad Science” and “Olympics” have all made the lineup. This March, the theme is “Spring Fling”—think relay races incorporating gardening tools—while April brings “Superheroes,” giving kids the chance to create their own masks. Last December, 9-year-old Alicia celebrated her birthday at People Serving People in Minneapolis. A memorable moment? Teasing a staff member dressed as Frozen’s friendly snowman, Olaf, she said she was going to “eat his carrot nose with ranch.” The birthday parties can leave a lasting impression on the parents, too—just ask Lakechia Thompson, whose 3-year-old son, Kaden, celebrated his birthday at Detroit’s Coalition on Temporary Shelter. “The best part was the intent—to make the children feel important, regardless of their circumstances,” Lakechia says. Ready, Set, Grow To date, TBPP has celebrated about 3,400 birthdays, leading Paige to focus on the organization full time in 2014. This year, TBPP aims to increase its number of monthly parties from 31 to 45, helping spread joy to more of the country’s 2.5 million homeless children. Plenty of ways to get in on the magic await: Besides volunteering at a party, “sharing” your birthday is also an option. Instead of asking for presents on your birthday, collect gifts for TBPP, or set up a fundraising page on their website. “Every week, the children ask, ‘Is this the week of the birthday party?’” says Kathy Kidwell, director of community engagement at Family Gateway. “It’s life-changing changing for them—there’s nothing like it. It’s priceless.” Find out how you can get involved with The Birthday Party Project. Amanda Gleason writes regularly for Live Happy magazine. Check out her feature story "Make-a-Wish: Where Science and Hope Meet."
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Group of happy elementary school kids.

Happy Schools Make Happy Children

In January, the elementary students at North Fond du Lac Schools in Wisconsin took on their most ambitious art project to date. Each of the more than 400 children, from kindergarten through fifth grade, wrote one thing they were thankful for on a strip of construction paper. Then they made paper “rings” of those expressions of gratitude before weaving them together to create one giant “gratitude chain.” Their goal? To create a colorful paper chain that could wrap around the entire school, surrounding it (both literally and figuratively) with gratitude. The project, says art teacher Alice Tzakais, was the culmination of the school’s Happiness Week, which included a variety of activities centered on expressing gratitude and happiness. “Our theme is the power of happiness,” explains Alice, who is now in her 40th year as a teacher. The school has seen firsthand how powerful happiness can be in the lives of both students and teachers. Since Aaron Sadoff became superintendent eight years ago, following three years as principal, he has worked diligently to spread the message of positive psychology throughout the school. “He has a lot of energy and a lot of ideas,” Alice says. “He’s very positive and enthusiastic, and that’s what it takes to sustain a happier culture.” When his contract came up for renewal two years ago, Aaron negotiated to have the school board send him to California to complete The Orange Frog training program. That program, based on Shawn Achor’s best-selling book The Happiness Advantage, uses a parable about an orange frog named Spark to teach new ways of achieving positive results. “I came back and taught it to my teachers, custodians, secretaries—everyone in the district,” Aaron says. “How a teacher feels affects the students, so I knew that if we can change the way the teachers feel, we can affect the culture for the students.” His teaching staff, he says, has taken the ideas and run with them. Today, Alice says, teachers know their character strengths and choose which ones they’ll develop and use in the classroom. They have developed a program to send the comic book version of The Orange Frog home with every elementary school student, along with a reading guide, to stimulate conversation. “The idea is that this is something the family is supposed to do together,” Aaron says. “So while we’re improving literacy, it’s also teaching them the science of happiness.” Learned happiness The district of North Fond du Lac is part of a growing number of schools incorporating the principles of positive psychology into education. As happiness continues to become more relevant globally, more countries are looking at ways to measure and monitor the well-being of their populations. From specific education policies to grass-roots movements, the awareness of the role happiness plays in individual success is changing how teachers, schools and even countries are approaching education. “The coolest thing is, you don’t sit around and talk about happiness. You don’t say, ‘Oh, look at me, I’m so joyous.’ It’s not like that at all,” Aaron explains. “What we’re doing is about recognizing what you’re grateful for, making social connections and focusing on the things that make us better individuals. And now there’s research that backs it all up.” In the 2015 World Happiness Report, Richard Layard, director of the Wellbeing Programme at the Centre for Economic Performance at the London School of Economics, and Ann Hagell, Ph.D., studied the well-being and mental health of children around the world, and then introduced specific recommendations for improving those conditions. They noted the important role an educational environment plays in children’s happiness and recommended that meeting the needs of children meant establishing well-being as a major objective for schools. Their blueprint for action included: Creating a well-being code that all teachers, students and parents would be held to. Emphasizing praise rather than criticism. Introducing age-appropriate courses in positive life skills at all levels of education. Training teachers to identify and promote well-being and positive mental health in students. The authors were able to show a direct correlation between children’s happiness and their intellectual growth. In 2011, a review of school-based programs providing social and emotional learning skills found that children who participated in such programs improved both their academic achievement and emotional well-being by an average of 10 percent. The final conclusion drawn in the World Happiness Report was that if schools truly treasure the well-being of their students, they must measure more than just academic achievement; they must consider the children’s happiness as well. And measuring it, according to Aaron, is what will get the attention of policymakers. “Math and test scores are important, but there’s so much more to education,” he says. “You have to look at how kids interact and you have to look at things like sports, music, art and how it affects them. It’s a process that takes a while, but all cultural change does. “The bottom line is, we now can prove, scientifically, that happiness leads to success.” Hunting positivity At the Parkmore Primary School in Australia, school principal Saraid Doherty has noticed a culture shift over the past year. It’s most noticeable at lunchtime, she says, when students regularly report their fellow students’ actions to teachers on yard duty. But rather than tattling to get their classmates in trouble, they’re reporting on the good things they’ve seen other students doing. Parkmore is one of many schools in 13 countries that have implemented the Positive Detective program. Created by Lea Waters, Ph.D., professor and holder of the Gerry Higgins Chair in Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne, and Lela McGregor, a graduate of the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology program, the Positive Detective program teaches students to look for the good in the world around them and share it with others. “Teaching students to notice and discern where they place their attention is a skill that is fundamental to learning and well-being,” Lea says. “Many students feel that attention is outside of their own control…and susceptible to external distractions. This has become more rampant with the greater role of technology in a young person’s life.” Teaching them to focus helps them academically as they absorb more from each class, and it also allows them to recognize negative thought patterns or emotions, which makes it easier to change those thoughts. Building on experiences such as gratitude, savoring and kindness fosters students’ self-awareness about their ability to seek out good in their lives. Then, they learn how sharing those stories can help boost their positive emotions. “The program also includes activities that students take home and share with their parents, such as [writing a] gratitude letter and a positive treasure hunt at home,” Lea says. “[Principals have] received lots of feedback from parents about how the conversation at the dinner table had become more positive as a result of the program.” That viral nature of positivity is part of what helps it work so well. Schools where social emotional learning or positive psychology principles are taught report that the children take those lessons home with them and share with the entire family. Steve Leventhal, executive director of the nonprofit organization CorStone, launched the Girls First program in Bihar, India, in 2011. The program teaches personal resilience to girls in an impoverished area and has changed the way the girls approach problems. But even more importantly, that change has rippled through their families. “When you educate a girl, she takes that home with her. It changes the trajectory of the whole family,” he says. And that appears to be true regardless of whether those families are in India or Indiana. Acting globally As happiness in schools moves from an idea to a global initiative, more systems are being put into place to create effective policies and practices. At the International Positive Education Network (IPEN) festival in Dallas last year, Martin Seligman, Ph.D., director of the Penn Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, noted that while parents claim the thing they want most for their children is for them to “be happy,” education as a whole has ignored well-being and is aimed instead at developing skills like math, literacy, achievement and success. Yet, research shows that happiness leads to success, not vice versa. In the Asia-Pacific regions, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) is calling for a fundamental shift in education systems. The Happy Schools Project, conceived by Gwang-Jo Kim, director of UNESCO Bangkok, looks at the relationship between happiness and the quality of education. It calls for schools to look beyond the traditional domains of learning and begin embracing and implementing the other elements that contribute to the wellbeing and happiness of students. UNESCO’s 2016 report, Happy Schools: A Framework for Learner Well-being in the Asia-Pacific, identifies 22 criteria for creating what it considers “Happy Schools.” The criteria fall into three broad categories of People, Process and Place, and shines a light on what is important for creating happiness and well-being in each of those areas. The report calls for decision-makers to “create more time and space for a type of learning that can enhance learner happiness and well-being, in hope of inspiring happier learners who can contribute to happier societies, and ultimately, to a happier world.” The key, it appears, is getting decision makers, both at a governmental policy level and at a school level, to buy into it. In a time when teachers and administrators are under pressure to deliver proof of excellence through test scores, the promise of happier students coupled with improved academic performance is “an easy conversation to start,” says Jillian Darwish, president of the Mayerson Academy in Cincinnati, which provides the Thriving Learning Communities program. “There’s not an educator out there who doesn’t want to help others find their greatest potential,” she says. “That’s why they came to the field. They care about others. The notion of helping them do just that really speaks to educators.” Thriving Learning Communities uses three main components. The largest, social emotional learning, teaches students relationship skills and responsible decision-making. The second guides students on how to identify and work to their character strengths. The third, a digital game element provided by partner Happify, helps teach them about positivity in a hands-on way. “This is not a program we give to teachers to give to their students,” Jillian says. “It begins with the teachers. As an educator, I’m going to find out, what are my personal strengths? How can I use those strengths to develop great teams? Once I’ve experienced that on a personal level, then I can start sharing it with my students.” By teaching educators and then students to “focus on what’s strong, not what’s wrong,” the conversation shifts. “It creates an entirely different dynamic,” Jillian explains. “This, to me, is the antidote to many of the behavioral and social problems we see in schools. If we agree to look for the best in ourselves and in each other, it absolutely changes the way we interact with each other.” Feedback from students and educators alike reinforces what Jillian has observed, and shows that these new skills are helping students both personally and academically. One sixth-grader who participated in the Thriving Learning Communities program says that at first there wasn’t much he enjoyed about school. “But with this,” he says, “you have something to look forward to. I get up in the morning, get moving fast and I get it going so I can get to school.” Fifth- and sixth-graders from the Cincinnati Public Schools offer similar stories, noting that identifying their individual strengths has helped them approach their problems differently. “My strengths are love of learning and forgiveness,” reports one student, who added that learning her character strengths helped her understand herself better and helped her get to know other people. It also gave her an understanding of what strengths she’d like to work on developing—becoming more outgoing and brave—but also reinforced her self-confidence. That, in turn, has made her a better student. “I used to have a hard time focusing on math,” she says. “Now, I have the confidence to take a test and know I can do it.” Proof positive A study published in November in the Review of Educational Research, which looked at multiple research results from the past 15 years, confirmed that a positive school environment can offset many of the negative effects of poverty. In 2016, more schools began looking at the role of culture in academic outcomes, and the U.S. Department of Education even introduced an online toolbox to help administrators measure and understand their school climate. The "Every Student Succeeds" Act, signed into law at the end of 2015, requires U.S. schools to consider non-academic factors such as school culture when evaluating overall success. And the International Positive Education Network was created three years ago to help build a global network of educators, students and representatives from governments and companies who support the idea of reforming—and transforming—the current education model. “It’s a big ship to turn around,” says Positive Detective’s Lea Waters. “But shifting the rudder by even a few degrees changes the long-haul course of that ship. I feel hopeful that now, more than any other time in education, we are seeing that change.” Read more about positive education: Does Grit Outweigh Talent When it Comes to High Achievement? 4 Ideas Shaping the Future of Education Listen to our podcasts: The Importance of Positive Education, Part 1 and Part 2. Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.
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Mom helping her son do homework.

What Great Parents Do Differently

The new book What Great Parents Do: 75 Simple Strategies for Raising Kids Who Thrive is a science-based approach to parenting intended to enhance children's emotional and social development. Author Erica Reischer, Ph.D., a psychologist and parent educator, offers straightforward techniques and relevant tips for busy parents. Great parenting, Erica writes, “is a skill that can be improved through learning and practice.” Don’t "overfunction" as a parent. Experiment with not doing some of the things you typically do. For example, if your children can walk, they can take their own garbage to the receptacle. Erica suggests that we pay attention to what we do for our kids and ask ourselves if our children are capable of doing it themselves. Making mistakes and experiencing disappointment and discomfort allow kids the opportunity to practice doing better and learning new skills. Feel feelings, choose actions. Feelings are what they are, the author writes. Behavior is a choice and something we can teach. Acknowledge your child’s feelings (demonstrating empathy), but let your children know when his or her behavior is not acceptable. We can show our kids that we don’t have to say what we are thinking or act on our feelings when we are in the midst of a strong emotion. Catch your kids being good. Kids thrive on enthusiastic, specific and immediate feedback. Catching kids being good reinforces positive behavior and increases their chances of repeating that behavior. Be on the lookout for good behavior that you can reinforce with specific praise and an affectionate touch or hug. Great parents are present and lead with the positive, writes Erica. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.
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