Woman in passenger seat of car

Change Your Story, Change Your Life

Everyone has a story. Our personal narrative plays a role in how we approach situations in life, other people and our own self-concept. Our story contains countless pieces of information, some random and insignificant, others full of meaning. Although the facts of our history are immutable, the way we react to them and weave them into our personal narrative is not. When we feel a need to make changes in our lives, we can rewrite or revise our story any time we like. It is an opportunity to reinvent ourselves, to start over, and to behave in new and different ways. The start of a new year is a great time to think about rewriting your story by looking at your past, and deciding what changes to make for the future. Often our stories are connected to events from our past. Positive chapters such as a happy childhood, successful career trajectory or healthy relationship can impact our personal stories in an inspiring and uplifting way. These happy events can make us more kind, provide us a more positive outlook, and even improve our self-esteem. On the other hand, negative life events such as trauma, addiction, illness, divorce, etc., can impact our story in a negative way. These often leave us feeling isolated, depressed and anxious. They affect how we deal with people and circumstances later in life. Challenging and painful chapters can make it harder for us to rewrite our story because we feel stuck in the past, powerless or even unable to make a change. You can transform your story. Timothy Wilson, Ph.D., a social psychologist at the University of Virginia, is an expert in what he calls “story editing,” a way to edit our stories by rewriting the path we are taking. “Our experience of the world is shaped bythe stories we tell ourselves and our interpretations of it, and these stories can often become so distorted and destructive that they completely hinder our ability to live balanced, purposeful, happy lives. So the key to personal transformation is story transformation,” he says. 1. Assess who you are. The first step in rewriting your story is to assess who you are, how you have been feeling and behaving, and what circumstances have impacted your life. Ask yourself, “What is my story and what would I like to change about it?” Take time to truly figure out who you are, what is missing, what needs to be improved and how you want to be in the future. An important part of this step is to realize that you can be resilient and rise above challenging times, and a challenging past, by taking steps toward positive change. Read more: Are You Facing Your Addictions? 2. Identify what changes you want to make. The second step is to begin to work on the changes needed to rewrite your story. I have a client who I will call Lisa. She is an intelligent woman who balances working and raising a family. She is responsible, educated and kind-hearted. However, due to a troubled childhood, Lisa has always been the type of person who gets very wrapped up in her own life. Only her husband and children are included in her circle. As a result of this, her co-workers and friends feel they cannot count on Lisa for guidance or support. Lisa is the "fun friend,” but not someone her pals can rely on. While she has enjoyed being known for a good laugh, this has always bothered her. After serious contemplation, she decided to rewrite her story and make a more concerted effort to be what she calls a “heart friend” along with being a fun friend. A “heart friend” checks in on friends when they were going through a tough time, makes offers to help in times of need, and listens to people's stories of pain and struggle. It has taken some time, but Lisa has succeeded and is now not only an attentive friend, but she also feels more balanced in life and more able to reach out for support when she needs it. 3. Continue to revise as you go along. Finally, in rewriting your story, take time out on a regular basis to remind yourself that you can always take steps to change your behaviors, your path and even your life. When we forget we have this power, we tend to feel stuck. When we remember that we have the power to change the trajectory of our narrative, we feel strong, hopeful and happier overall. Read more: 10 Steps to Become a Fully Loaded Grown-Up Read more: 10 Reasons to Tell Your Story in Public Stacy Kaiseris a Southern California-based licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert and media personality. She is the author ofHow to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Knowand editor at large forLive Happy. As a former weekly advice columnist forUSA Todaywith more than 100 appearances on major networks, including CNN, FOX and NBC, Stacy has built a reputation for bringing a unique mix of thoughtful and provocative insights to a wide range of topics.
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Overcoming Rumination

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Metacognitive practices help people develop more flexible thinking in day-to-day life to help overcome depression or ruminative thoughts. LifeHack—Learn techniques to watch and measure your thinking to train your brain to focus on solution or action-oriented thoughts rather than negative judgments or ruminations. Practitioner’s Corner—Chianti Lomax, a certified coach and founder of the Happy Pop-Up, talks about her experiences creating fun, curated, interactive events that teach people practical tools in positive psychology. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center
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A Journey Through Anxiety with Andrea Petersen

Andrea Petersen is a science and health reporter who hasn’t just studied anxiety from a reporter’s standpoint; she has lived with it. Her new book, On Edge: A Journey Through Anxiety gives an honest and heartfelt account of living with anxiety and how she learned to come to terms with it. Andrea looks at how anxiety affected her, how she overcame it, and shows us some of the groundbreaking research that’s being done on anxiety. What you'll learn in this episode: Why not all anxiety is bad What practices can help you overcome anxiety How living in the moment can change your relationship with anxiety Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Learn more about Andrea on her website. Purchase her book On Edge: A Journey Through Anxiety on Amazon. Follow Andrea on her Twitter.
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5 Simple Tips for Easing Holiday Stress

My email notification pings. I open the message to a brightly colored elf serenading me with a work party invitation. It happens to be my face pasted on the comically oversized head. “I’m serenading myself,” I think, chuckling under my breath. This is the invite to Plasticity Labs’ holiday tradition—the “holidate”—one of my favorite events of the year. For many of us, the holidays are filled with invitations from co-workers, planned events with family and all the usual celebrations of the season. The holidays can be both stressful and joyful, bundled into one emotionally charged season. Rodrigo Araujo, Ph.D., senior data scientist at Plasticity Labs, analyzed workplace stress and seasonality. He identified fall (October to December, including the winter holidays) as the unhappiest time of the year for people in the workplace. At first, we were surprised. We thought late winter (January to March) would be the gloomiest season. Obviously, our bias as long-sufferers of the tough Canadian winters played a role in that hypothesis. However, when we reviewed our earlier research, it validated why this time of year causes stress. Our emotional volatility increases during the fall for myriad reasons, but one of the biggest impacts on our stress is an increasingly busy and ever-fluctuating schedule. This causes an out-of-control feeling that can make our brains uncomfortable. But, there is a way to combat this seasonal stress, even when social pressures threaten to derail our best intentions. Most importantly, we need to remind ourselves that there is much to love about this time of year. To keep us on track, here are a few best practices to rewire your attitude (and happiness) during the holiday season. 1. Make it a team effort. Are you stressing to get everything accomplished for the holidays? Check off your to-do list during the workday with friends. Initiate “Wrapping Wednesdays” during the month of December. Order in lunch, bring in communal paper, tools and tape, and have fun gift-wrapping together as a team. Employees can have their gifts wrapped for a fee and the proceeds donated to a local charity. This saves you time, eliminates a chore and gives something back to the community. 2. Give experiences, not stuff. If your workplace participates in gift exchanges, remember that thoughtful is always more valuable. On birthdays and special holidays, we smile bomb our co-workers. Desks are covered in sticky notes with descriptions about what makes them special. It’s the gift that keeps on giving; I love rereading my notes whenever I’m having a tough day. 3. Be authentic. Host holiday events that resonate. Most companies throw a formal holiday party. It may be exactly what your employees want, but do you know for sure? If you’re a decision-maker or influencer, come up with a few ideas, poll the group and act on the results. For our holidate, we do lunch and take the afternoon off to watch a movie (StarWars—three years running). The day is simple, intimate and authentically tied to our amazing geeky culture. 4. It’s OK to say no. We often feel obliged to say yes to every holiday invite. It’s tough to turn down a co-worker and even tougher to say no to the boss. However, stress stems from being overextended. Start by asking your peers which events are of higher priority for you to attend. Now you won’t burn out trying to be everywhere for everyone. 5. Save a vacation day. Did you know that the average employee receives two weeks of vacation and leaves five days on the table every year? According to Project: Time Off, an initiative of the U.S. Travel Association, Americans forfeited 206 million vacation days in 2016. We tend to hold on to our vacation days for a rainy day, and yet, that rainy day never comes. It may seem like it’s counterintuitive to take time off work just before the holidays, but saving one day for yourself—to do absolutely nothing—will be the best way to stay energized, fresh and engaged at work. I’ll leave you with this bonus tip to ensure that you close 2017 with a positive mindset. The next time an RSVP notification pops up from a dancing elf, remember, it could be worse. Instead of groaning, practice gratitude instead. This is the time of year to be full of thanks and grace, a time to reflect on the past and look ahead optimistically to what the new year will bring. Practice gratitude to rewire an otherwise stressful time and finish off 2017 with positive experiences and happy memories. 2018 will thank you. JENNIFER MOSS is the co-founder of Plasticity Labs and best-selling author of Unlocking Happiness at Work. She’s a happiness researcher and thought leader on the topics of emotional intelligence and organizational performance and a contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, BBC, National Post and Huffington Post. Jennifer was recognized with the International Female Entrepreneur of the Year Stevie Award, and she and her two co-founders were named Canadian Innovators of the Year.
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Buddhist Monks

A Journey Toward Peace

The introduction to The Art of Living by Thich Nhat Hanh says “Spirituality is not religion. It is a path for us to generate happiness, understanding, and love, so we can live deeply each moment of our life. Having a spiritual dimension in our lives does not mean escaping life or dwelling in a place of bliss outside this world but discovering ways to handle life’s difficulties and generate peace, joy, and happiness right where we are, on this beautiful planet.” Photographer Geoff Oliver Bugbee, drawn to the peaceful, happy faces and purposeful actions of Buddhist monks from various orders around the world, captured the accompanying images during his travels starting in 1994 to share their lessons of living in the present with others. Below, Sister Hien Nghiem (Sister True Dedication), of Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village order in the South of France, shares her spiritual journey and insights. For me, Buddhism is more a way of living, an art of living, than a religion. It is ancient wisdom—more than 2,500 years of it. Thich Nhat Hanh is one of those great lights who will go down in history as someone who has made these teachings effortlessly relevant and helpful to our modern way of living. He often teaches and writes so simply, with such elegance, it’s hard to see all the wisdom and brilliance within and behind the words. It’s a bit like watching Michael Jackson dance. Part of his genius was making his dancing look so effortless—and he was one of the best dancers of his generation. For me, Thich Nhat Hanh’s books are like that. They look simple, but they’re genius. An Oasis of Calm The ancient depth of Buddhism has the capacity to address our deepest concerns. In the book The Art of Living, Thich Nhat Hanh shares eloquently and with great depth a very accessible Buddhist way to approach questions like, “What does it mean to be alive?” or “What should I do with my one, precious life?” or “Where do we go when we die?” or simply, “Who am I?” As an engaged Buddhist community, our monasteries are a kind of oasis, a refuge for people to come and live a mindful way of life alongside us, all year round. I’m currently living in Plum Village, France, and we recently had more than 8,000 people come to stay with us for a week or more in 2016. We help people learn how to cultivate a moment of happiness and how to handle a moment of suffering, of challenge, when things are just too much. We help people learn how to relax, how to arrive in every step, how to land into the present moment and find peace and ease there. We don’t learn these things in school, so oftentimes people are learning it for the first time with us. Teaching in Every Moment Thich Nhat Hanh used to say that we are very lucky: We can already see the impact of our mindfulness practices and teachings on people, just in how their faces relax and brighten up after a week with us. So our life is strangely public. Everywhere we go, our life is our message. We do our best to cultivate joy and happiness. Sometimes people see us cry, but most of the time they see us smile. We’re human: humans practicing a deep life of mindfulness. That touches people. Some of us may live our lives so that day flows into another day, and we live just to “get through it.” We do things other people suggest we do. We do what everyone expects us to do. But if we’re really honest with ourselves, I think all of us need and want a spiritual dimension to our lives. Spirituality helps reclaim our lives, to live the kind of life we want to live. We dare to dream, and we dare to realize our ideals. Living in mindfulness is like living in high-resolution. Suddenly we’re awake to the hyper-connectivity of everything. And we realize that we are not alone and that everything we do, no matter how small, has meaning. It’s part of the song of life. About Geoff Oliver Bugbee “For me, photographing Buddhist monks began as a peripheral undertaking on my photo assignments in Asia. The practice of compassion and nonviolence are personal pillars of strength in my life, so I’ve always been intrigued with the spiritual deeper dive and lifestyle of Buddhist monks and nuns. No matter my whereabouts, without exception monks have allowed me into their daily business—whether it be walking in their footsteps in the Yangon, Myanmar, streets for alms; observing a head-shave ritual in Sikkim, India; or poking into the middle of a cacophonous monastic debate in Lhasa, Tibet.”
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Practicing Self-Forgiveness

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Learn about a study on self-forgiveness as an intervention. LifeHack—How to practice self-forgiveness on a day to day basis. Practitioner’s Corner—Hear how Denise uses positive psychology as a career coach and speaker to help people uncover who they are and what they want to do with their lives. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center
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Practitioner’s Corner: Monica Smith

Live Happy is excited to present a series of interviews from our partners,The Flourishing Center,that highlight practitioners who are making an extraordinary impact in the world by putting positive psychology into practice. As we present you with inspiring human stories, we also want to empower you to put these strategies into action in your own life. Today’s spotlight interview is with Monica Smith, an experienced project manager and change-management specialist with more than 12 years of experience working in the public sector. After graduating from The Flourishing Center’s Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) Program, Monica recently foundedThe Clear Mind Projectto bring positive psychology and resilience to the addiction-recovery community and bridge the gap between crisis and true thriving. TFC: What inspired you to bring positive psychology to the recovery community? Monica: I have recovery experience myself, and for many years I found all the traditional recovery approaches to be helpful. But when I was exposed to positive psychology, it transformed my life. I uncovered research about growth mindset and post-traumatic growth, and felt truly inspired. And yet, I realized that few people in the recovery community—including therapists and other providers—were aware of these concepts. Despite the amazing gifts of traditional recovery, I often saw people hovering in a neutral space after successfully getting sober. They weren’t engaging in self-destructive behaviors, but they also weren’t flourishing. They didn’t believe in their potential or see what was possible, and they often still had a negative self-view. I feel strongly that we could change this. TFC: Tell us more about how you were originally exposed to positive psychology. Monica: My undergraduate degree is in psychology, and I have a master’s in forensic psychology. So through my education, I knew who Martin Seligman was, and I got some exposure to positive psychology. I took a break for several years, but what brought me back was my own spiritual journey and self-development process. I’m a big Audible user—I usually have eight books going at any given time—and in listening to books about personal growth, I kept getting recommendations for books by some of the big names in positive psychology. Plus, while consulting for the government, I heard about Martin Seligman’s Penn Resilience Program. While this was peripheral exposure, it started coming together with what I was digging into personally. TFC: You founded The Clear Mind Project over the last year. Tell us about it. Monica: The Clear Mind Project is all about bringing the science of well-being and resilience to the recovery community. We offer coaching and workshops, and recently finished our first cohort of A Twist on the 12 Steps™. In this 12-week program, we take one of the traditional 12 steps each week and teach a complementary interpretation rooted in positive psychology. The idea is to say: All of the things you’ve been exposed to in traditional recovery are great, but they’re only half the story. For instance, the first step is about admitting you are “powerless” and that your life has become “unmanageable” because of addiction. In this week’s workshop, I teach participants about what they can control—that they can choose their mindset, rewire their brain, etc. TFC: How have people been responding to this integrated approach to the 12 steps? Monica: Everyone who went through the program reported an increase in their well-being. I did a survey with all participants before and after, asking about their subjective well-being in areas aligned to the 12 dimensions I was teaching. I was particularly struck that on average, this group reported a 50 percent increase in agreement with the following statement: “I feel a sense of peace about my past and find meaning in negative experiences.” TFC: That’s fantastic, Monica! What’s your vision for the future if more people had access to these resources? Monica: I envision the program being balanced between addressing illness and supporting wellness. I want people in recovery to say, “Not only am I in recovery, but I am also feeling really fulfilled.” I would like providers in the field to have these positive psychology skills for themselves —let alone for their clients’ benefit. I see that creating upward spirals. Plus, I’d want strong support structures in place for partners and family members of those navigating addiction. Overall, I want people to feel their sobriety is safe. Positive psychology has taught me about the illness/wellness continuum. If you imagine a scale of human flourishing from negative 10 to plus 10, traditional psychological paradigms try to get people to zero, or neutral. Many people recover from addiction and hover around there, where they are vulnerable to triggers. If we can move people north of neutral, although they will still experience triggers, they’re more likely to be OK because they’ll have more cushion. Everyone deserves a cushion! To learn more about The Clear Mind Project, visit www.theclearmindproject.com. If you are in recovery or otherwise affected by addiction and live in the Washington, D.C. area, look for the next offering of Monica’s signature program, A Twist on the 12 Steps™, in early 2018. Read more: Practitioner's Corner: Louisa Jewelland Practitioner's Corner: Cheryl Rice
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Be More Generous To Boost Your Happiness

Handing money to someone in need may put a smile on both the recipient’s face and your own. A new study from the University of Zurich reports finding a link between the brain regions activated by generosity and those involved in happiness. Researchers gave participants a weekly allowance, with one group planning to keep the money for themselves and the other committing to spend it on others. Then, fMRI imaging was used to study both groups’ brain activities. Participants who had pledged to use the stipend in a philanthropic manner behaved more generously than those who didn't, confirming that the act of giving or even the intent to give activates the brain in a way that makes you feel happier. Randall Wright, a neurologist at Mischer Neuroscience Associates in Texas, is thrilled with the findings. “We know that altruistic behavior can simply make us feel better, but now we are seeing this at a neurobiological level,” he explains, noting that the study is the first to deduce a scientific correlation between generosity and happiness. Jessica L. Cundiff, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychological science at Missouri University of Science and Technology, adds that you don’t have to empty your wallet to experience a boost; any amount will do. “In a 2008 study, people were given either $5 or $20 bills. Regardless of the amount, those who spent the money on others reported feeling happier,” she says. While the study highlights the effects of financial giving, there are additional ways to feel the warm glow of generosity. Randall suggests using your talents in a charitable manner. “If you are a great chef, preparing meals for the homeless will surely be a big hit for you and the ones receiving your meal,” he explains. Read more: 17 Ways to Give Back According to Your Strengths Listen to our podcast: The Giving Way to Happiness, With Jenny Santi Nicole Pajer is a freelance writer and reporter based in Los Angeles.
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Understanding Other People’s Behavior

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Explore the impact of technology on social well-being. LifeHack—Learn the simple strategy for brain matching. Practitioner’s Corner—Katrina Goff shares how transitioning from a dental clinic to a resilience coach and trainer changed her life. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center Read the interview from the Practitioner's Corner: Transcription provided by The Flourishing Center Emiliya: Hello everyone and welcome Katrina Goff to our positive psychology Practitioner Corner. Katrina is a Certified Resilience Trainer through The Flourishing Center. She helps people talk back to their thoughts, work with their emotions, and show up in the world the way they want to. She's joining us today from Ozark, Missouri. Something you might not know about Katrina is that she is a grandmother to 20 children. That's two-zero, 20 children. Her and her husband are blessed that between them they have eight children and 20 grandchildren. She is not only thriving in family but thriving in opportunities to share positive psychology with the world. We're so excited to have her here. Thank you Katrina. Katrina: Thank you Emiliya. It's a pleasure to be here today. Emiliya: Katrina, tell us what brought you to this work? Katrina: Oh my goodness. I was on a journey. I went back to school and I was working in a dental clinic. That's where most of my experience work wise has been. I was working with the military but also very passionate to me is helping people to have healthy, happy relationships. I thought that I was on a path to become a marriage and family therapist, but somewhere along the way all the work with the military and hearing my patients come in and share with me that they had PTSD. They would share their stories but I just always noticed their countenance dropped every time that they told me, "Ma'am, I might hit the floor if I hear a loud noise." When they just mentioned that they had PTSD, these very macho and brave men would look defeated. My first class with anything to do with positive psychology was a social psychology class. That was where I first learned about post traumatic growth. I was hooked. I had something that I could share with people that could give them hope rather than a diagnosis that didn't give them hope. I'll never forget the next patient that came in and shared with me that he had PTSD. I listened to his story as I always did and I sat there and then when the opportunity arose, I just asked the patient, "Have you ever heard of post traumatic growth?" He had not and he wanted to know more. I shared with him that it was growth that occurs after you've had a traumatic event and that you either experience a greater purpose and meaning in life, a connection to others, a greater appreciation for your own life, better relationships and connection to a cause. I'll never forget the look on that patient's face when he said, "Ma'am, I got that. I think I have that," and was able to share and pick out a story of how he had been in an improvised explosive device detonation, an IED. Through that, when he came back, he was a drill sergeant so he was able to share with his new recruits how to avoid IEDs because he had experienced it firsthand himself. His whole face lit up. You just saw the positive change that happened. That was my first piece of positive psychology that I learned and I couldn't get enough from there. Emiliya: Wow. What an incredibly touching story, Katrina. Thank you. What are some of the ways in which you're implementing positive psychology today? Katrina: I have been blessed to be able to implement it in many different ways. For the last four years, I've taught at a career college so I knew that these skills and positive psychology were the missing piece of the curriculum, that we could teach people skills and we could teach them knowledge in their field. Positive psychology helps people be able to handle life. We can teach skills that help you show up in the world the way that you want to. I use character strengths with my students so they were able to be prepared for an interview knowing where they were strong. They didn't go into an interview and say, "I'm bubbly." They actually knew where their strengths lied and how they had used them to help them through challenges. That was very empowering. I participated in several years of “character day” at the school and that was really always very rewarding for me as well. I taught a lot of resilience skills as well to my students. I found that growth mindset and fixed mindset showed up so much in my students and how I could help them to see that and to ask questions that were going to leave them somewhere rather than questions that just cause them to judge themselves. Emiliya: For our listeners that are tuning in that might not be familiar with growth mindset and fixed mindset, can you tell us how to share this concept with others? Katrina: I definitely can. Growth mindset and fixed mindset comes from Carol Dweck. I have to admit that I had the book for a while without ever reading it. I knew it was a book I wanted to get to but once I dove into that book and I could see how much that all of us have these tendencies to not just be one way or the other, but both of them show up in our lives in certain ways. Growth mindset will lead people to embrace challenges and to see that we can learn from failure. Fixed mindset tends to show up where you see people who are afraid to make any mistake whatsoever. They don't want to do a procedure. They don't want to learn a new task because they're afraid that they won't be good enough, and why make a mistake? I saw that so often with my students so I was able to teach them that we learn through making mistakes. That was the perfect place to be learning and making mistakes was when we had plastic patients rather than real patients because those times you don't want to make a mistake. I was able to help them to see that and to hopefully recognize it in other areas of their lives so that they could persevere outside the classroom with those skills as well. Emiliya: Thank you for sharing that Katrina. I'm curious, what are some of the more poignant ways in which positive psychology has personally impacted you? Katrina: I think one of the key things again is the character strengths and how, when I was able to recognize my own character strengths and how they showed up my life, then I could really feel free to incorporate those. Even though I was already incorporating them, they're how we show up in the world, but it really gave me a better understanding of myself. Plus, it helps me to look at others and be able to see their strengths and how teams are formed and how we can—where I'm weak and I can use where someone else is strong to accomplish a goal better. Growth mindset and fixed mindset shows up in my world as well. There are still challenges for me. I'm probably in that big group of people that feel that sales is one of those things that I'm just not good at, yet I know through all of this education and this field that we can learn and develop if we put enough time, practice, and get the right resources, that we can be good at anything that we choose to do in life and that there's nothing that's outside of our reach. It may take me a little bit longer, that may not be an area that I'm super strong in, but I can develop those skills. Emiliya: Thank you Katrina. What are some of the most exciting things you're up to right now? Katrina: I have just accepted a position at a community dental clinic as a coordinator of six dental clinics. With this work, I will be able to use positive psychology in my training and hiring and evaluations and putting teams together. I'm really, really excited to find a position that allows me to use my skills and my work as well as my love and passion and knowledge in positive psychology. It's just a great fit. I have a lot of freedom to incorporate this as I see will benefit the teams and the clinics. I'm really excited about that. Emiliya: Thank you Katrina. In positive psychology, we frequently talk a lot about the importance of self-care. We say that self-care is healthcare. What are some of the self-care principles that guide you in your day to day life? Katrina: I'm so glad you brought that up because that is something that I really do incorporate into my life. Sometimes we get so busy that we actually forget even though we know this is so important to who we are. It's so important to take that time to replenish ourselves. One of the things that I do that my husband thinks is pretty funny is I refuse to choose where we eat. It’s something that depletes me to make that decision, so I don't really like that; I save my decisions for more important things in life, so I tell him I don't have to choose where we eat. I'll just pick what I want when we get there. I love being out in nature. I do love the beauty of the sunrise and the sunset and the stars and the ocean. Recently, my husband and I just got back from Florida. We were able to take some down time to just really invest in ourselves personally and in our relationship because both of us are in this helping field of coaching and speaking and training. We do tend to put so many other people before ourselves so we do have to recognize that self-care, whether that's a bubble bath, whether that's just quiet time, your favorite music, exercise, whatever that works for you. For me, I enjoy quiet time and I do enjoy just the beauty of nature around me. Emiliya: Thank you for sharing that. One of the questions we've been asking our interviewees is: What is your definition of what it means to flourish? Katrina: That's a great question, Emiliya. I definitely love “to show up the world the way that you want to.” I think that we all have that ability when we are equipped with the skillset and mindset of resilience. It really does help us to push through life and to thrive. I feel like when we're using our gifts, our skills, and our passions and we're incorporating that as our purpose in life, how we show up in this world, that's when I feel like I'm thriving. That's where I feel like I am right now in my life because that I have been equipped with the knowledge from The Flourishing Center and through other sources as well and that I know what my gifts are, I know what my strengths are, and I know what I'm passionate about, and I know that I get to show up in the world and I get to use my purpose. I take my purpose with me everywhere that I am. I think so many people are so scared of the word purpose and they are thinking it's elusive in that they can't reach it when our purpose is what we're living daily. We can take that with us. Recently, I was struggling with a few things. We hear when your why is big enough, you don't have to worry about your how. I thought about that and it's so true but when your why is big enough, you don't have to worry about your how or your where. All you have to worry about is that you do because you take that calling and that purpose with you. When you do that, you are thriving. Emiliya: Wow. Such an inspiration with those words, Katrina. Yes, the words “showing up the world the way that you want to,” which refers it to me by Dr. Srikumar Rao, are ones that I both repeat often. It's a question I ask myself often, "Am I showing up in the world the way that I want to? How do I want to show up in the world around this situation?" It's a powerful question to ask. Katrina, what have you found have been some of the biggest obstacles you faced in trying to introduce positive psychology? Some would say, "Wow, in a dental office, how does that work?" I would imagine that not every single person is not as bright eyed and bushy tailed, or some people might think you've drank some Kool-Aid. I think one of the biggest challenges is just helping people to understand that positive psychology isn't “happyology.” It isn't about happy all the time. There is definitely times in our lives and situations where it's not appropriate to be happy but working with our emotions, not getting stuck in our emotions, is one of the things that I really want people to know. That is how I want to help them in this world, is learning when and how. It's learning character strengths, when you can overuse one or underuse one. There's just so much that we can use in positive psychology to touch every person. I believe it belongs in every company, every organization. I think just that it's still so new to a lot of people—they just aren't understanding what we have to offer in the world. I think reframing it in ways that really help people to realize the benefit is one of the ways that we can push past some of these challenges. Emiliya: Katrina, how can people learn more about you and follow up with you if they have any questions about your work? Katrina: Probably the best way is on my Facebook, PS3 Coaching. That's usually where you'll see my workshops that I have going on. You'll also see a link to the character strengths survey so that everyone can have access to that information. If they want more information on what to do from that, then they can reach me. I give a free consultation and help people to see if incorporating coaching can help them to reach those goals in their life that they would like to. I give a lot of workshops at the Bounce Back Better® system. Thank you, Emiliya, for creating that and sharing that with us so that we can share it in the world, one of the most incredible experiences that I ever had to go through the program as well as the CAPP Program. Both of those are so intense in my life and they have really equipped me with everything I need to help people to know more about this work. I teach pieces of positive psychology that I incorporate in with MLMs. I recently did a Growing Your Mindset, Growing Your Business. I just incorporated some pieces of the growth mindset from Carol Dweck and some other elements that I feel like are very important for people to grow their business and just understand those key elements of how our self-doubt shows up and what we can do with that. Emiliya: I know earlier we mentioned that you have such a robust family. I'm curious, how do you bring positive psychology to eight children and 20 grandchildren? Katrina: They get it whether they want it or not probably. It's who I am. It's how I show up in the world. I love that I have this knowledge base to share with my children and our grandchildren, teaching them how to look for what's strong in others, even growth mindset. I sat down with one of my granddaughters who has very high expectations for herself. She was reading and every time she came to a word that she didn't understand, if I had to help her with the word or if I chose to help her when she wasn't getting the word, then she would stop and she would go back to the page and start all over again. I thought, "Well, how can I incorporate growth mindset into this situation with my granddaughter to help her to understand?" I said, "Can I read the next poem in your book?" She said, "Yes, Nana, you can." I started to read and I got to a word and I pretended that I didn't understand the word or didn't know how to pronounce the word and I tried to pronounce it. Then, I said, "Can you help me with this? This is kind of a tough one." I said, "You know? It's okay that we don't know every word. It's all right that we're just learning. The next time we'll probably get it right after we learn it." We got through that and I did that exercise with her a few times. The next time when she went to read again, every time she came to a word that she would try and did not know how to pronounce, she would look at me, I would help her and then she would say it and she would continue on. She didn't have the need to go back to the beginning of the story again because she didn't want to be wrong. I thought, "Wow, I teach this but this is real time." We can see how beneficial this is in real time to teach our children and our grandchildren that it's our right to make a mistake. We don't have to be perfect and we learn from our mistakes. Emiliya: I love that. Thank you for sharing such a specific and impactful way to bring growth mindset into the life of a child. Again, just want to highlight how it's the micro moments, those tiny little moments that add up to the bigger changes that we can make over time. Katrina, thank you so much for being here with us. It's been an honor to learn more about you and how you're implementing this work in the world. Thank you so much for sharing everything that you have with us. Katrina: Thank you Emiliya. I really appreciated the opportunity. As I said before, I can't thank you enough for creating the CAPP Program, the Certification in Applied Positive Psychology, and I followed that program for a while before I was able to step out and take it. It was one of the most impactful things in my entire life. Then with the Bounce Back Better® Program as well. Everyone needs this information. Every company, every organization, every school needs it. I'm just so proud to be able to pin it into my piece of the world and help people to have the skills to face adversity and just keep going. Emiliya: Thank you so much Katrina. It's an honor to be able to just create the container and share these tools. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Have a question about the science of happiness and wellbeing? Or, have an issue that you'd love a life hack around? Send us a message to info@theflourishingcenter.com and we'd love to offer you some positive psychology based skills to address your questions. Thanks for listening and we look forward to connecting with you soon.
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Illustrated image of two people praying.

The Happiness Prayer with Rabbi Evan Moffic

Rabbi Evan Moffic is a guide to Jewish wisdom for people of all faiths. A graduate of Stanford University, he is the spiritual leader of Congregation Solel on the North Shore of Chicago. His book brings together Jewish wisdom and positive psychology to answer the question: What practices and experiences lead to a life of joy and satisfaction? What you'll learn in this episode: The connection between faith and happiness. The roots of happiness in spirituality. How spirituality and positivity psychology may diverge. Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Learn more about Rabbi Moffic on his website. Follow him on his twitter and Facebook. Purchase his book The Happiness Prayer: Ancient Jewish Wisdom for the Best Way to Live Today on Amazon.
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