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Beat the Energy Crisis

On a typical day, Nancy Giammarco manages to piece together about six hours of sleep. Between caring for her bedridden mother during the day and running sound at a Dallas live music venue six nights a week, she doesn’t remember the last time she’s enjoyed a good night’s sleep. “I try to get some sleep on Saturday, but I have dogs to care for and a lawn to mow and housework. To me, a vacation would be seven or eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.” Nancy’s social life is mostly conducted online these days, and she stays plugged in 24/7 to stay in touch with her sister and the nurses and respiratory therapists helping with her mother’s care. “I can’t afford to be out of touch,” she says. As a result, she is perpetually exhausted. On a good day, her energy level peaks at five out of 10 points, she says. And while Nancy’s situation may be extreme, she’s not alone. Experts say that most of us are having—or heading toward—our own personal energy crisis. We sleep too little, work too much and fail to give ourselves the time we need to relax and recharge. “It’s all about energy,” says Christine Porath, Ph.D., associate professor at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business. “It really is the key to everything. You can’t buy more time, so if you can increase your energy, it will not only improve your performance at work, but your health and well-being, too.” Implementing new strategies can help boost energy, restore good health and improve productivity in every area of our lives, says Christine, who studies how to create a thriving workplace environment. And what is true for the workplace is true for the homefront, too. “If you’re fueled with energy, your relationships at work and at home are bound to be better. You bring a more mindful, focused, engaged self into these relationships.” That means learning to regulate and renew your personal energy reserves. In order to live our lives to the fullest and to truly enjoy and appreciate the moments as they occur, we need less stress and more bliss. But today’s “always on” world seems to be fighting that at every turn. Emails and texts invade our downtime, and many of us never fully unplug. Energy Vampires “The stressful nature of life has left people feeling depleted,” Christine says. “They lack energy. In my research, I see a high correlation between energy and happiness and life satisfaction.” One of the biggest energy drains is that feeling of not being able to unplug. Working in the evenings and on weekends, constantly checking—and answering—texts and emails, and spending not-so-quality time with our laptops, tablets and smartphones all adds up to one giant, emotional, electronic overload. Pulling the plug on work when you leave the office, and spending time on a hobby you enjoy instead of dragging work home with you can have a powerful effect. “Disconnecting and recharging is a great way to refuel,” she says. “You build your energy resources this way and then go back to work, or come home, stronger and more effective.” Being able to switch off at a set time can generate a feeling of regaining control, and it allows you to relax and turn your attention to more important things like your family, your friends and yourself. Recharge, Refuel, Reboot According to The Energy Project, a consulting firm dedicated to creating healthier and happier workplaces, nearly 75 percent of employees worldwide are experiencing a personal energy crisis. They’re paying for it at work, with lowered productivity, and at home, with less engagement. Relationships are compromised (or sacrificed entirely), and life satisfaction bottoms out. “The vast majority of employees feel depleted, diminished, disenfranchised, demoralized and disengaged,” wrote CEO Tony Schwartz in The Human Era @ Work, a study The Energy Project conducted with Harvard Business Review. “And it’s getting worse.” But we can turn it around, Tony explains. Even small steps, like taking a break, has a measurable effect. Tony’s study found that employees who took even a brief break every 90 minutes boosted their ability to focus by nearly 30 percent and improved their creativity by 40 percent. And doing things you enjoy in your spare time will carry over to your day-to-day duties. “Thriving outside of work can bring more energy to the workplace, and vice versa,” Christine says, adding that people who thrive are more enjoyable to be around, and everyone benefits. The Energy Project identifies four aspects of our lives that affect our energy: physical (health), emotional (happiness), mental (focus) and spiritual (purpose). The physical aspect is considered most important; it is the foundation of all energy and includes proper sleep, fitness, nutrition and time during the day to rest or recharge. If you’re feeling a little low on energy, here are Christine Porath’s recommendations for improving in each area: Physical. Get on a regular sleep schedule and work in at least 30 minutes of exercise four times a week. Emotional. Invest in relationships that are enriching and energizing; these may be existing relationships that have been pushed to one side or could be new relationships. Mental. Take breaks from your email and texts. That might mean going for a walk in nature (and leaving the phone behind) and allowing time for your mind to wander. Spiritual: Keep a gratitude journal; it will refocus your attention on the positives in your life. And find a practice—whether it’s prayer, meditation, yoga, etc.—that helps you connect to something greater than yourself.
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Mental Health Care is Self-Care

Mental Health Care is Self-Care

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! Each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we’ll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! May's happiness theme is mental health awareness. According to a recent survey from Harris Polls on behalf of the American Psychological Association, Americans are more open to talking about mental health, believing that people suffering from mental health disorders can get better and should not be ashamed of their situation. Through awareness we can continue take away the social stigma surrounding these issues and realize that mental health is a part of our overall health. When we address our problems head on, we can illuminate the path to healthier, happier lives. Mental health disorders can be common and we may not even realize we are suffering from one. Symptoms such as excessive worrying, lack of energy and social avoidance may be warning signs that something is not quite right. It’s always good to check with your physician or mental health provider to find out if you need a simple mental health screening or any mental health treatment. May’s Happy Act is reaching out to a friend in need. Too often we let technology isolate us from the rest of the world. Studies show that this type of behavior is antisocial and could lead to loneliness and depression, which is bad for your mental health. We encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member that you may not have talked to in a while and reconnect. You’ll both be glad that you did. Our May Happy Activist is Priscilla Herd from Pennsylvania. Priscilla is a counselor at a substance abuse and mental health treatment center where she spends her days giving to others by conducting individual and group therapy for intensive outpatients as well as various levels of care. According to her, “the population we serve is in need of changing their mindset, their environments, their friends and need to engage with happy, positive people, thoughts and things in life. It’s a very real and difficult challenge.” She helps her patients change their addictive thought process into a more positive and other-centered process, while simultaneously teaching the importance of self-care as well, which helps the most in recovery. “Many people may have never known anything positive before entering treatment and recovery,” she says. For more information on mental health, read the articles listed below: How to Go From Recovering to Really Thriving 5 Tools for a Healthy and Happy Mind Finding Mental Wellness with Tipper Gore Mental Health Mission What Do You Live About Yourself? Time to up your #HappyActs game. Help us spread global happiness by becoming a Happy Activist and host your very own Happiness Wall. Learn how you can host a wall at your school, business or organization and find out how to create your own fantastic wall using one of our Happy Acts Wall Kits.
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Overcoming Stress in America With Chris Libby

Each year, Gallup releases its Global Emotions Report, which measures life’s intangibles: feelings and emotions. Using its Positive Experience Index, Gallup measures our enjoyment of life and looks at who’s doing well … and who’s not. This year’s report showed that, even as our economy improved, Americans found themselves being more stressed, worried and angry in 2018. Live Happy editor Chris Libby and Live Happy Now host Paula Felps sat down to talk about what’s driving our negative emotions and what we can do about it. In this episode, you'll learn: Why self-care is so important in combating negative emotions How to turn off negativity (and the evening news) Practices for building positive emotion Links and Resources Download your own copy of the Gallup Global Emotions Report Facebook: @livehappy Instagram: @mylivehappy Twitter: @livehappy Pinterest: @livehappy Don't miss an episode! Live Happy Now is available at the following places:           
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Live Happy Science of Savoring

The Science of Savoring

Sariah Daine has mastered the art of savoring everyday moments. “I’m looking at the clouds hanging delightfully in this beautiful, blue sky,” noted the artist and grandmother from Madison, Wisconsin, one recent morning. “The air is crisp and smells fresh.” It hasn’t always been this way for Sariah, who has had more than her fair share of life challenges. In recent years she lost her parents, suffered repeated heart issues and had to adjust to living alone on a fixed income. But it is her grandchildren and their health problems that affect her most deeply. “I could spend my entire day worried and depressed over my grandson’s lingering medical issues,” Sariah says about her youngest grandson, who was injured while deployed overseas in the military. “But I’ve learned that I need to be at my best to be able to care for my family and friends.” Now Sariah makes a conscious choice each day to savor good things as a way to balance out life’s difficulties. She’s a good example of what many scientists are now documenting—that savoring our positive experiences is a key to a happy life. Coping and Savoring Savoring is the capacity to notice, appreciate and intensify the positive aspects of our lives. Knowing how to cope with negative events and savor positive ones are two sides of the coin of life experiences. Coping skills help diminish the effects of painful moments, while savoring helps amplify the beauty of joyful ones. Both are essential to living a happy life. While coping strategies have been studied for decades, positive psychologists and scientists who study happiness are now exploring techniques that allow us to linger and luxuriate in positive experiences. When we savor good times, we allow ourselves to sink into the sweet feeling of positive emotions like joy, love, gratitude and serenity. Positive emotions have been shown to, among other things, increase creativity, improve our sleep and even strengthen our immune systems. “Savoring can help us counteract the natural human tendency to focus more of our attention on negative things in our lives than on positive things,” says Fred Bryant, Ph.D., of Loyola University, who co-authored Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience with Joseph Veroff, Ph.D. Savoring the good times multiplies the joy in our lives in two ways: by diminishing the space in our minds devoted to negative thoughts and by amplifying the effects of positive thoughts and feelings. With practice, we can become better at savoring, immersing ourselves ever more deeply in the sunshine of positive experiences. We can create what might be called a savoring mindset. “The key is to not miss the opportunities to savor when they arise,” Fred says. Savoring Everyday Moments “We must not make the mistake of waiting until we have no negative experience in our lives to begin savoring,” Fred says. “In this world, and in our daily lives, we will have tribulation, and it will not disappear. Our challenge is to prioritize savoring, even in the face of adversity—indeed especially in the face of adversity—for that is when we need it most, to help counterbalance the negative effects of stress and suffering.” Sariah is a good example of doing just that. This means we don’t need to wait for the next big thing to amplify our positive emotions. We can linger in the happiness associated with being in nature, watching our children play or eating a favorite meal. That’s something we can do at any time, any place. Fully experiencing our positive emotions can have far-reaching and long-lasting benefits. Positive emotions are more than simply feel-good moments, according to Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., a psychologist who studies emotions at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She considers each positive emotion a contribution to a positivity savings account.   “Positive emotions, although fleeting, accumulate and compound over time in ways that incrementally build people’s enduring resources,” she writes in “The Role of Positive Emotions in Positive Psychology: The Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotions,” which was published in the journal American Psychologist. Savoring helps intensify and expand our connection to positive emotions. People who frequently experience positive emotions are more resilient, resourceful and more likely to form close ties with other people. In addition, they are more likely to function at optimal levels in their lives, no matter how they choose to spend their time.  We build up resources by savoring good times, and we can draw upon these resources when we encounter difficulties in the days ahead. The Social Side of Savoring When we communicate and celebrate our positive experience with others, we are using a social savoring strategy that psychologists call capitalizing. After we’ve enjoyed an experience, we can capitalize on it by reliving the positive emotions as we share details with others. Of course, we can share the joy with others in the moment, too. Research from Shelly Gable, Ph.D., at the University of California, Santa Barbara, found that asking others about their good news and listening closely as they retell stories allow them to bask in the glow of that positive experience. It helps them reconnect with the experience and the uplifting emotions that went with it, and it also helps people asking questions experience positive emotions as they help others savor memories. And, if you savor together regularly, Shelly found, it strengthens the relationship. Savoring the Past, Present and Future As it turns out, savoring isn’t just for the present moment. Like most people, you may have found that you had more fun planning your vacation or reminiscing about it than you had when you were actually on the vacation! You’re not alone; scientists say that savoring can be divided into three time-related categories: anticipatory savoring (leading up to an event), experiential savoring (in the moment) and reminiscent savoring (remembering good times and the positive emotions that accompanied them). Researcher Jordi Quoidbach, Ph.D., of the Barcelona Graduate School of Economics describes experiential savoring as “a mindful approach in which one focuses attention on the present moment and systematically suppresses thoughts unrelated to the current experience.” In direct contrast, Jordi describes anticipatory and reminiscent savoring techniques as removing oneself from the moment. This type of savoring, he says, “consists of stepping back from the present experience to mentally travel through time to remember or anticipate positive personal events.” In a study published in Personality and Individual Differences, Jordi reports that emotional well-being—although experienced differently—increased with each of the three types of time-related savoring. Anticipatory savoring takes place before an event. In our vacation example, it might involve watching films set in our vacation spot or collecting maps or guidebooks to plan an itinerary. When we actively plan or imagine good times ahead, we are practicing anticipatory savoring. Experiential savoring occurs in the here and now. It involves being mindful of good things happening as you enjoy a fancy breakfast or the smell of the sea while on vacation. It also happens on a daily basis as you look for things and experiences in your life to appreciate and savor. The key is to not put too much pressure on yourself to make the most of each moment. Simply notice the sights, sounds and smells around you. What parts of this moment are most enjoyable? Reminiscent savoring happens after the fact, when we relive positive moments. We might just drift off into our memories, or we can create activities to help. Looking at photographs or telling friends about our trip is a great way to ramp up reminiscent savoring. One way to enhance reminiscent savoring is to plan a positive activity at the end of your event. This taps into what scientists call peak-end theory, or the finding that we tend to remember the high point (peak) of an experience as well as the way it ended. To the extent possible, try to plan a favorite activity at the end of your event to help you leverage the peak-end theory. You can use this approach to successfully end meetings, parties or even a workout. Don’t Be a Wet Blanket Sometimes we short-circuit our ability to enjoy good times, something scientists refer to as “dampening.” Instead of lingering in good feelings, we cut them short. We dampen our positive emotions when we suppress or minimize good feelings, distract ourselves away from an enjoyable moment, find fault or see only the negative in an otherwise positive situation. Dampening our positive experiences can be seen as an opposite to savoring them. “Such individual differences in the propensity to savor or dampen positive emotions may play an important role for one’s overall well-being,” says Jordi, relating it back to Barbara’s research. “Indeed, the broaden-and-build theory suggests that the cultivation of positive emotions helps to build lasting resources that, in turn, enhance life satisfaction, increase the likelihood of experiencing future positive emotions, and foster resilience to negative ones.” Sometimes dampening positive emotions is appropriate. If you’ve just been promoted and your co-workers weren’t, for example, postponing any celebratory savoring might be in order. Don’t Wait, Savor Today Many of us fall into the trap of thinking that our happiness is just around the corner. Savoring is an active way to notice and enjoy good things already present in our lives. Sure, there are times when we’ll take big steps to change and improve. We may decide to move to exciting new places or to leave jobs that we no longer find rewarding. But to be truly happy, we need not necessarily make big changes. It could be as simple as changing our perspective, such as Sariah’s decision to focus on the current blessings in her life rather than being overwhelmed by its challenges. “Positive events may set the stage for people to experience savoring. But positive events alone are not enough to bring about happiness. People need to be able to attend to and appreciate” those positive feelings, Fred says. This article originally appeared in the April 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine.
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Feeling tired and stressed. Frustrated young woman keeping eyes closed and massaging nose while sitting at her working place in office

5 Ways to Break Your Achiever Fever

Nothing explained my misery: I was five years into running my successful market research business, I had Fortune 500 clients, loyal employees, and was growing an average of 20% each year. I should have been happy given everything I had accomplished, but aside from short bursts of excitement from achieving goals, I just couldn’t find any sustainable joy. This had been the story of my life, whether it be sports, school or my career—I was forever striving for the next thing, the next goal, the next achievement. I’ll be happy when…I used to think. But the happiness never seemed to arrive, no matter what I accomplished. I was sick and tired of living my life this way and my insomnia had gotten so bad I knew something had to change, otherwise I risked becoming a liability to my own company. Four years later, after extensive coaching, self-reflection, meditation, reading, journaling and various retreats, I now understand that I had been suffering from a sickness that I now call Achiever Fever. Achiever Fever is the dark side of achieving—it’s the delusional state of mind we get ourselves into when we tie our self-worth and happiness to our accomplishments. Symptoms include: a constant need to prove oneself, frequent worry, an inability to stay present, comparison with others, fear of not living up to one’s potential and the over-use of food, alcohol, exercise, sleep or work to distract ourselves from our stress. However, as I have come to learn, there is a cure. The cure does not diminish our abilities to achieve: in fact, it only enhances them. But just as importantly, the cure allows us to discover the joy and peace that is already in us to begin with. If you think you might be suffering, here are five ways to break your fever: 1. The first, and in many ways most important step, is to recognize that you are feverish. Achievers tend to operate at a heightened level of busyness that keeps us focused on the external world. Our inner selves get ignored, our self-awareness decreases and we suffer in silence as a result. The suffering can only be dealt with when we acknowledge there is a sickness. 2. The next step, just like with any addiction (and many of us are addicted to achieving), is to tell someone you are suffering. This requires vulnerability and courage. Rest assured that most achievers are suffering from the fever, but most are too anxious to talk about it for fear of seeming weak. Owning it and naming it are critical. 3. Now it is time to get to know the voice in your head – the inner critic that natters away at you, the one that tells you are not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, caring enough or trying hard enough. We allow this voice to run our lives, keeping us in a state of self-doubt and feeling like we can’t get out of own way. This voice can be disrupted by questioning these irrational stories we tell ourselves. Do not accept the voice as truth. There are several systems of self-inquiry, such as Byron Katie’s The Work, that can transform our thinking and take away our fever. I speak more about this in my book, as well, The Achiever Fever Cure. 4. The only way we can truly experience joy is by being present, something that is difficult for future-focused achievers. Incorporating meditation into your life, even if it is only five minutes of deep breathing a day, will show you what it feels like to be present. You will be able to watch your inner critic at work and strengthen your self-awareness, both key in curing your achiever fever. 5. The ultimate cure for achiever fever is to learn to let go. This does not mean giving up, but rather giving in to the flow of life. Achievers like to be “in control” but all we are really able to control is our reactions to what comes our way. Our unhappiness comes when try to twist our life, and the people in it, to suit what we would like to happen. Instead, set an intention, create a plan, rest assured your work ethic will kick in and get out of the way. Remember that challenges bring gifts. Keeping Achiever Fever at bay is a daily practice. Just like we exercise our external selves, we need to pay attention to our internal selves. As we become more self-aware and more present, joy flows into our lives allowing us to feel more connected to ourselves and to others. It is in this state that we can flourish, accomplishing what we never thought possible, as our self-doubt and irrational thoughts fall away.
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Concept of necessity of having a rest while working. Tired exhausted manager clothed in formal-wear is sleeping on a sofa in his modern office

Nap Your Way Happy

If you suddenly discovered you were deeply in debt, would you ignore it, or do whatever it took to get rid of that debt? For most of us, the answer is obvious, but you may be surprised to learn that, chances are, you’re carrying debt that you aren’t even aware of. And every day, you’re adding to it just a little bit. The good news is, you can free yourself from this debt just by committing to a single simple activity every day for 15 to 30 minutes—and it’s free, enjoyable and can be done without any special training. It’s called taking anap. Recent research is shedding more light on the value of nodding off during the day. And now, some companies are warming up to the idea, realizing that a well-rested worker is happier and more productive. These companies are so enthusiastic, they’ve even created nap rooms, which can range from a simple darkened room with couches or reclinersto areas with more elaborate “pods”created specifically for the businessenvironment. But it doesn’t take an official nap room or pod to get the benefits of a few minutes of dozing during the day. Huldah Brown, a service coordinator for Midland Area Agency on Aging in Hastings, Neb., keeps a pillow, blanket and timer in her desk drawer. On days when she’s tired or having trouble focusing, she says a 20-minute nap is all it takes to get herself back on track. Although she used to just rest her head on a pillow on her desk, she recently moved to a new office that has a couch—and her boss encourages her to use it for napping. “I always feel more alert afterward, and it seems like I can do my job better,” she says. “On days when I take a nap, I’m able to get a lot more done—and I feel so much better at the end of the day.” Snooze or Lose Huldah isn’t just dreaming up those results; a large and ever-expanding contingent of experts are touting the value of a nap. Not only can it improve your mood, but it also makes a tremendous contribution to your overall health. And in today’s world, where the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that more than 33 percent of us aren’t getting enough shut-eye at night, naps could prove to be the key to better living. In fact, they may even save your life: Getting the proper amount of sleep improves memory, strengthens the immune system, increases concentration and even decreases people’s risk of being killed in accidents, the American Psychological Association says. “A nap crunches all the benefits of the first and the last part of [overnight] sleep,” explains Sara Mednick, Ph.D., a research psychologist and assistantprofessor in thedepartment ofpsychology at the University of California, Riverside. “I was working in alab [with a scientist] who was working on research about nighttime sleep, and his research showed that we need at least six to eight hours of sleep a night. But Iknew people like myself who were nappers, who thought it didn’t make sense that you can feel as good as you doafter a short nap, when the data show you need a full night’s sleep.” So she set out to research the benefits of napping, and found that it had the same benefits of crucial non-rapid-eye movement (NREM), or “slow-wave sleep,” and rapid-eye movement (REM) sleep experienced overnight, only delivered in a highly condensed form. Since slow-wave sleep (which occurs earlier in the night) can improve memory,and REM sleep (which occurs later in the nocturnal sleep cycle) enhances creative problem-solving, the combination of the two packs a powerful one-two punch that Sara says can be delivered by a simple, properly timed nap. “We have a mixture of different kinds of rhythms in our body and different biological pressures that allow for specific cycles to occur across the day and night,” she says. During the day, our bodies go through a cycle where “it’s a natural, biologically strong period to be sleeping,” she says, which is probably where the practice of taking a nap originated. During that period, the body can achieve both REM and slow-wave sleep. “So you get the same benefits of a full night of sleep in a much shorter time frame,” she says. Sleep More, Smile More And if you suffer from sleep disorders, or if your life simply doesn’t allow you to get the amount of sleep you need, the Stanford Center for Sleep Sciences and Medicine says a 15- to 30-minute nap seven to nine hours after you wake up is the perfect way to refresh—without disturbing nocturnal sleep. A nap might even be more invigorating than an overnight snooze. In 2008, British researchers conducted a study comparing the effectiveness of getting more nighttime sleep, napping and using caffeine when it came to overcoming that all-too-familiar afternoon slump. Of the three, a nap was found to be most effective. One big factor, they discovered, is the amount of time someone has been awake. In other words, even if you got eight great hours of sleep, you might feel the same dip in alertness 16 hours after waking up that someone who only got six hours of sleep would experience. “The thing I’m most surprised about is that in studies, when you compare napping to nighttime sleep, the performance outcomes show the same benefit,” Sara says. “That should open our minds to not only having a regular sleep schedule, but a nap schedule aswell.” That’s a notion Arlene Matthews Uhl, professor of developmental psychology, former psychotherapist and author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to The Psychology of Happiness, buys into as well. Napping, she says, is a form of downtime that allows us to reboot for the rest of the day. It not only clears the mind, but helps our mood and energy as well. On a physical level, she says, people who take naps regularly will likely be more hormonally balanced, and will be less susceptible to the effects of stress hormones, such as cortisol. That in itself is a natural boost to your mood. “Apart from that, it is highly likely [you] will find that [you] have a burst of creativity after [your] nap time,” Arlene says. “And working in a creative state of flow is one of the keys to happiness.” Get (Back) with the Program While naps are a natural biological urge, many people feel the need to resist sleepiness and “stay productive,” even though volumes of research point to the fact that a quick nap may actually increase productivity and learning during the day. One study conducted in California and reported by the Harvard Men’s Health Watch in February 2012 gave subjects a creative problem in the morning and gave them the afternoon to think it over and develop solutions. At 5 p.m., the participants were tested, but half of them had been allowed to nap and enter the REM sleep state, while the other half was only allowed to quietly rest and relax, but made to stay awake. While those who weren’t allowed to sleep showed no improvement in problem-solving, the nappers showed a 40 percent improvement in performance. Similarly, a study in the December 2011 issue of Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience showed overwhelming evidence that a daytime nap helped improve motor learning skills. The paper not only included a new study showing that both short and long naps were beneficial in improving motor performance, but recapped more than two dozen other studies emphasizing the improved learning benefits of daytimenapping. Losing the Sleep Stigma With so much evidence pointing to the value of naps, why aren’t more of us curling up on the couch during the day? It has to do with the American work-hard, play-hard mindset, the National Sleep Foundation says. While many countries, including Spain, France and Japan, see scheduled naps or “siestas” as part of the daily routine, Americans are prone to cram more activities into their day rather than schedule a nap. Arlene believes there is still a definite stigma attached to daytime napping, and it may leave nappers feeling guilty for taking a break. One way to get around the guilt of taking a nap, she says, is to call them “power naps,” instead of the more leisurely phrase “catnaps.” This way, you will feel less guilty, more empowered—and better able to take advantage of the many benefits a nap provides. “This simple reframing can help us give ourselves permission to take a break and recharge,” she says. She points out that, when left in a room without windows or clocks, people will naturally take a nap in the late afternoon—even if they don’t know what time it is. Studies on this date all the way back to the 1960s, when a German doctor furnished abandoned World War II bunkers like small apartments—except that they lacked clocks, calendars and windows that showed whether it was light or dark outside. The study consistently showed a pattern in which participants slept for six to seven hours, and then 12 hours later would return to bed for a shorter nap. What that tells us is that “when [you] are free from environmental cues and follow...internal rhythms, napping quickly materializes as part of [your] everyday behavior,” Arlene says. Allowing that natural rhythm to resume is a way of creating a happier, more productive day by improving mood, skills, memory, alertness and health, Arlene says. Like other self-care practices such as meditation, exercise and mindfulness, napping helps even out our moods, sharpens our awareness and allows us to tap into our creativity. “As a result, our relationships tend to become more stable and calm as well,” she says. “All [you have] to do is experience the effects of not being well-rested enough for the course of a few days to understand how difficult it is to be happy under such circumstances,” she says, adding that the connection between happiness and napping is too strong to ignore. “Maybe we need to invent a new name for it:‘nappiness.’”
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Portrait of a dreamy cute woman meditating outdoors with eyes closed, with the effect of blur, closeup.

Learning to Be Happy From Within

Have you ever heard the old saying happiness blooms from within? Well, it turns out there may be more to that saying than we even realize and all it takes to make that happiness bloom is a few minutes of daily meditation. Although we might not initially think of happiness as the main benefit of meditation, it is one of the most commonly reported secondary effects of the practice. I personally experienced this shift during my early twenties when I felt unfulfilled by the external world around me and started looking for happiness within. Every day I began doing meditations for joy and happiness, began to stop and pause during the day to go inward, and just be present with my inner self. It was nothing short of magical. Overtime, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off me; my social anxiety was dropping and I began living life for me and no one else. In fact, this time of my life was so meaningful that it inspired me to become a teacher and create my location independent yoga and meditation school, Yoga For You, and my guided meditations podcast, Mindful in Minutes that now helps to share meditation with people in 162 countries. Brain Power Although many feel happier after meditation, the question remains what is actually happening during meditation that is making us happier? According to existing research done at universities across the United States, such as John Hopkins, meditation makes us happier because we are physically changing the size and structure of our brains with meditation. Although many feel happier after meditation, the question remains what is actually happening during meditation that is making us happier?" Studies show that over four to eight weeks of daily meditation our brains change on a neurological level. Brain scans of meditators and nonmeditators show that areas of the brain associated with fear, anxiety and pain—like the amygdala—shrink and became less active after daily meditation. Areas associated with happiness, memory, and emotion—like the frontal lobe—grow in those who meditate regularly. Chemically the brain changes as well. The feel-good chemicals in the brain oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin, increase after meditation and levels of the fear and stress chemical and cortisol, drop physically. This helps you feel happier and less stressed over time. The changes in the brain also improve your sleep, boost your immune system and decrease your anxiety, can make you a happier and healthier person. Embrace Your True Self Although not backed up by research yet, a personal reason I believe meditation is the key to unlocking happiness, is the deep connection you get with your inner self. In my experience, those who meditate report feeling more content with who they are, what they have and feel they have more clarity in life. It is also during a deep meditation practice that you can connect deeply with atman, or the true self, which is according to yoga philosophy, is where pure happiness resides and how we create a direct line of communicating with our soul and intuition. So maybe the next time you’re feeling like you need a happiness boost instead of looking outward, try gazing inward and give meditation a chance. To access dozens of free 10-minute guided meditations you can check out my podcast Mindful in Minutes, or take my free 7-day meditation challenge at yogaforyouonoline.com.
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February Happy Activists

Empowerment to the People

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! On the 20th of each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we’ll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! February’s happiness theme is empowerment. Helping others feel a sense of empowerment can be a powerful thing. In a recent Live Happy article, actress Britney Young, described how portraying Carmen “Machu Picchu” Wade on the hit Netflix show GLOW, really taught her about her inner strength and how much she could help others. “I hope audiences are inspired to break down their own barriers and go after things they have always been dreaming of, or have been afraid of attempting. Because once those boundaries are broken, anything is possible,” she says. We couldn’t agree more. Our February Happy Act is to help people feel empowered. In Paula Felps’ Live Happy article, Shower Trucks Helps Nashville’s Homeless, she tells the story of a couple who started a mobile shower stations for the homeless. The idea was so inspirational, soon, hair stylists and barbers pitched in offering free haircuts and shaves. These are regular people using their talents and skills to help people in need, turning despair into dignity. Look for the ways in your life where your talents to be a source of inspiration and empowerment for others. If you are musically gifted, you can piano lessons for free, or if you are handy, then help build houses with Habitat for Humanity. There are plenty of ways you can help people feel confident and hopeful again. Our February Happy Activist is Luc Swensson from Boise, Idaho. This impressive 13-year-old, has been helping others feel good about themselves for almost half of his life. At age 8, he started raising money for patients suffering from pediatric cancer, and just recently, he launched the I Love This Life Foundation. With this foundation, Luc travels the country encouraging kids to be their best selves. To find out more about Luc and his work, go to ilovethislife.org. For more inspiring stories about empowerment: Stitching Lives Back Together Rowing the Pacific The Empowered Britney Young Find Your Tribe Time to up your #HappyActs game. Help us spread global happiness by becoming a Happy Activist and host your very own Happiness Wall for the International Day of Happiness (March 20). Learn how you can host a wall at your school, business or organization and find out how to create your own fantastic wall using one of our Happy Acts Wall Kits.
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Happy young couple hugging and laughing outdoors.

9 Ways to Deepen Your Relationship

I always say the best relationships are grounded in making our partner’s happiness and well-being equal to our own. What I mean is that each partner needs to strike a balance between what’s best for the relationship and what’s best for themselves. This delicate balancing act isn’t about ignoring our own desires, stifling our emotions or even making the other person our sole priority. Rather, just as you’re mindful of your feelings and desires, you should do the same for your partner’s. I call this “partner mindfulness,” and it involves nonjudgmental focus and awareness of your partner’s wants and needs, both in the moments you’re together and while you’re apart. Case in point: I recently spoke with a client about working on partner mindfulness, and her initial response was, “He does him and I do me, and I honestly don’t know if either of us can go back to the days of putting each other first.” I told her, “I’m not looking for you to put him first, just tied for first some of the time.” Partner mindfulness makes it easier to achieve this desired state of being in a relationship. Mindfulness, in its most basic form, is a skill we all exercise when addressing the needs and wants of our children, friends and co-workers, yet many of us put those tools away when it comes to our partners—especially during times of conflict and stress. When we practice partner mindfulness, though, we’re stepping outside our own thoughts and into our partner’s, allowing us to empathize and feel what it’s like to be in his or her shoes. It helps build bridges that will increase our connection and intimacy, lower stress, lessen conflict and increase our overall happiness. In short, it makes our partner feel heard, prioritized and nurtured. Now, I know life gets busy and most of us are juggling responsibilities and feeling pulled in many directions. The last thing you need is one more “to do” on your list, but hear me out. Here are nine quick, easy ways to practice partner mindfulness that you can integrate into your life every day: 1. Be honest with yourself about the state of your relationship. Assess your connection with your partner and ask yourself how attentive you are to each other’s wants and needs. 2. Commit to improving. Take it upon yourself to put in the extra effort and work on developing a stronger bond. 3. Narrow your focus. Clear your own thoughts and feelings and take a few moments to think exclusively about your partner, how he or she might be feeling, what his or her perspective is, and what he or she might want or need. For example, if your partner had a tough day and comes home in a bad mood, instead of thinking about how his or her irritability is affecting you, consider how your partner is feeling and how stressful it is to have a bad day that you can’t shake. 4. Make bookend connections.Make it a point to connect when you wake up in the morning and right before you go to sleep. Say goodbye when you part ways and hello when you return home. The simple act of giving your partner a hug or a kiss hello and goodbye allows you to focus on each other and your relationship for a moment. 5. Let your partner know what you appreciate about him or her. Take the time to acknowledge the good. 6. Be compassionate. If your partner is in a bad mood or is having a tough time connecting with you, approach him or her with compassion and understanding instead of disappointment or frustration. 7. Respond, DON’T REACT.Pause, think about how you want to respond and then put effort into interacting in a thoughtful, kind and loving way, even if you’re upset. 8. Focus on communication. Be aware of the messages, both verbal and nonverbal, you’re sending and make sure you’re mindful of your partner’s feelings. 9. Strike a balance. Assess your partner’s wants and needs. Try to behave in ways that take both of your feelings into account. When you’re feeling ignored or dissatisfied, it may seem unfair or even annoying to be the person who instigates this type of change and to be the one who demonstrates more sensitivity to your partner and your relationship. Relationships require ongoing work and effort to be rewarding and fulfilling, though. And when you make the commitment to motivate and influence each other, as an added bonus, your children will witness their parents being great role models and learn skills for successful relationships. So I encourage you to take the first step. As Gandhi says, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” (This article originally appeared in the August 2015 issue of Live Happy magazine.)
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Sharing more happiness in your life will positively impact the lives of others

Make 2020 a Year of Happy Activism

On March 20, 2020, the world will celebrate the International Day of Happiness. This holiday was created by the United Nations in 2013 to recognize the need and awareness for worldwide happiness. Year in and year out, Live Happy has been championing this cause by encouraging our Happy Activists to practice #HappyActs on this day as well as to help create Happiness Walls across the globe. In 2019 the Live Happy wall count exceeded 1300. This year we plan to have more than 1500 walls for people to visit and share with us how they like to spread happiness. Happy Activists hosted walls in schools, churches, shopping malls, public parks, businesses and more. The infectious feeling of happiness and joy shared at the walls created a ripple effect. We asked last year’s Happy Activist wall hosts to share the moments that stood out the most. Here is what they had to say: “The day was great because several people were happy to stop and visit with us. Some of them seemed lonely and it was great to be able to share some happiness with them even if just for a few minutes.”—Claudine Furniss, Victoria, Australia “Seeing the kids and the parents get excited about being happy was great all day. For me personally, it was seeing how proud my three kids were of me for putting the wall up.”—Catie Rudolf, Temecula, California “Seeing that people and customers who came in the coffee shop were so surprised by the wall and someone doing the Happy Acts. The smiles on their faces were so awesome when they posted their very own Happy Acts.”—Dale Rea, Jacksonville, Florida “I held a public wall in a shopping mall that I do not frequent. It was great to get out and interact with a neighboring community! There were so many different nationalities and languages! More than once we had belly laughs come from wall volunteers and passersby huddled around their phones using Google translator trying so hard to communicate...smiles all over. It was amazing to see the joy and sometimes surprise on their face when they fully realized why we were there. Then, they'd call over their family or kids to come join in. Thank you all so very much for doing what you do...so we can spread it on and on!”—Amy Hamblin, Bellevue, Washington “When someone was shocked to have to think about what makes them happy—their denial first, then thinking and coming up with some amazing things that make them happy. Creating that awareness for people to think about happiness and what really makes them happy. Maybe they will do more of those things or think about it more often.”—Susan Shelton, Albuquerque, New Mexico We believe creating more awareness and bringing more happiness into the world can make life better on a global scale. But we can’t do it alone and that’s why we need your help. To find out how you can help with this important effort, go to happyacts.org and learn how to host your own wall. It is now easier than ever, so let’s keep the momentum going. Make it Social: The great thing about being a Happy Activist is you can practice your acts of kindness all year long. And when you do, make it social by taking a picture or video and sharing it on social media with #HappyActs.
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