Woman in White Shirt Sitting on Chair in Front of Macbook

4 Stress-Busting Tips to Boost Your Happiness

Stress is and will always be part of our lives. But, as we enter another month of masks, stay-at-home orders, social unrest and uncertainty, our stress and anxiety levels being pushed to the max. According to the American Psychological Association’s (APA) Stress in America Report 2020, 46% of parents with children under age 18 report their stress levels related to the coronavirus pandemic are high and 83% of Americans believe the future of our nation is causing them a significant source of stress. Living this way is not only unsustainable, but it is also very bad for our mental and physical well-being. Research shows that when we properly manage our stress levels, we can prevent some really bad health issues, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke and depression. So, if you are going a little stir crazy, here are a few tips to help relieve some of this newfound stress and get some peace of mind. 1. Practice Mindfulness While you and your family are stuck at home crawling all over each other, it may feel as if you have suddenly been transported into that trash compacter scene from Star Wars. Just to reassure you, the walls are not actually moving in on you and those feelings of suffocation are in your head. Practicing mindfulness can help clear out some of those anxieties and other brain clutter that adds extra stress to your life. Experts believe that a good time to try a relaxation technique is right after lunch. This is our rest and digest mode and it is the opposite of fight or flight. If possible, let your co-workers and family members know that you need 10 to 15 minutes for quiet reflection. If you need help calming your system, try a simple exercise of closing your eyes and breathing in for four seconds, holding your breath for seven seconds and then exhaling for eight seconds. Repeat this five times in a row and you’ll start to notice a sense of calm blanketing you. If you need some guidance on how to practice mindfulness, a few apps to check out are Calm, Smiling Mind, Mind Free and Headspace. Plus, if you are unemployed because of the pandemic, you can sign up for a Headspace subscription free for one year. 2. Make More Connections Even before we had social distancing due to the global pandemic, social isolation and loneliness was becoming a national epidemic. According to a 2018 survey from AARP, one out of every three adults over the age of 45 is lonely. While the current situation of stay-at-home orders hasn’t exacerbated the loneliness problem yet, the ties between social relationships and happiness are inextricably linked, and maintaining positive connections with others is associated with positive health outcomes. No matter if your connections are personal, professional, or both, strong relationships keep us happy. While you can’t physically reach out and touch someone right now, you can stay connected through technology. Try using FaceTime or Skype to call a loved one, a coworker or an old friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Talking to someone you trust and love will calm your fears and increase your happiness. Research shows that tight connections to other people is also good for our physical health because it helps lower those cortisol levels that lead to stress while boosting the immune system. If you need someone or a group to reach out to for support, self-care social media app Lyf offers its platform as a place to connect and share thoughts and experiences with other users, access to licensed psychologists 24-hours a day to answer any questions you may have about how you are feeling, or to just to vent your frustrations. If you are a frontline worker, Lyf is offering free, 60-minute support sessions with mental health experts during the COVID-19 crisis to help deal with issues of anxiety, fear, helplessness and anger. 3. Keep Your Body Moving Exercise is vital for physical health, but it is also important for maintaining mental health. So, being physically active not only keeps you healthier but happier too. In a study recently published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, researchers found a correlation between the frequent physical activity and happiness in people who exercised at least 5 days a week between 30 and 75 minutes. According to the APA, regular exercise helps the brain deal with stress and can be a great mood-booster to fight off the effects of anxiety and depression. In fact, some studies claim that 20 minutes of exercise a day can improve your mood for up to 12 hours. Even though you can’t visit the gym or a yoga class right now, there are still plenty of ways to stay fit even if you are stuck in the home. Virtual classes are readily available online or on apps and treadmills are a great substitute for outdoor running. 4. Eat a Healthy Diet Stress can have a huge impact on your eating habits by throwing off your metabolism and making you more susceptible to emotional eating. Health officials from the Cleveland Clinic advise to keep plenty of healthy snacks around to prevent overeating foods that aren’t good for you and to give the body maintain proper nutrition to help fight off stress. Healthy foods, including plenty of fruits and vegetables, will also stabilize your blood sugar which will keep your emotions in check too. Healthy food and comfort food don’t have to be mutually exclusive, according to Chef Gerard Viverito, The Sustainable Chef. Instead of filling up your cart with junk food, he offers a few sustainable solutions that are pleasing to the palette. If meat prices are too high in your area, Gerard recommends eating more fish as well as becoming more familiar with how to prepare it. If you want to control snack attacks, try fiber-rich foods from the ground that fill you up faster. If you stuck at home and looking for family-fun activities, Gerard suggests making food fun by planting “a garden with kid-approved brain foods such as strawberries, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, spinach and broccoli.” Now, the Bright Side As we continue to navigate these troubled and stressful times, it’s important to keep a positive mindset as much as we can. Positivity will put is in a better position to fight off the negative effects of stress and anxiety. Being stuck inside and having limited connections with the outside world may not be all bad. Home services and products review site Reviews.org recently surveyed 500 Americans to determine the impact COVID-19 and social distancing has had on our personal lives and found a few positives side effects of social distancing. According to their findings, 54% of Americans say they feel closer to friends and family, 50% feel like they have more pride in their community and 47% say they have learned a new skill or hobby. It just goes to show that even in the darkest of times, people are hopeful, innovative and resilient.
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A group of people helping each other

Kindness Counts When Sharing Happiness

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! We encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more people who join the #HappyActs movement, the greater the positive impact we’ll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! November’s Happy Act theme is kindness. People who practice kindness show more compassion and are more willing to help people in need. According to Character Strengths Interventions: A Field Guide for Practitioners by Ryan Niemiec, Psy.D., when we add more kindness into our lives, we help alleviate some of the negative effects of stress and anxiety. Kindness is also associated with other important character strengths, such as gratitude, leadership and love. November’s Happy Act is to make the world a kinder place through good deeds, favors and helping others. This month, think about how many ways you can do something nice for someone else, for example, raking leaves or shoveling snow for a neighbor, giving extra for holiday charity drives or just holding the door for some who has their hands full. If it helps, make a plan of action beforehand, so you’ll be prepared when a moment to practice kindness presents itself. Don’t forget to write down each time you do something kind for someone else and how it made you feel. At the end of the month, reflect on your kind acts and see if your attitude and mindset changed at all. Our November Happy Activist is Marilyn Boss, aka The Happy Lady. This Floridian retired from corporate life and now focuses on bringing happiness into the lives of others through acts of kindness and happiness workshops. “You never know whose life will change with one Happy Act of Kindness,” Marilyn says. “Happiness is a choice and we get to choose it every day.” Every year on the International Day of Happiness, Marilyn sponsors multiple Happiness Walls by sharing happiness and happy acts in classrooms, before and after school programs, summer camps, Job Corps of America and the homes of veterans. Her goal is to sponsor more than 100 walls in just three years. “I have such gratitude for how Happiness Walls have changed my life,” she says. “I learned along the way how to use the tools that I share to be truly happy and I want that for everyone.” For more on kindness, check out these articles: Happy World Kindness Day! Four Ways to Grow Kind Kids 'The Kind Mama' Builds Community Practice Random Acts of Kindness Every Day Time to up your #HappyActs game. Help us spread global happiness by becoming a Happy Activist and host your very own Happiness Wall. Learn how you can host a wall at your school, business or organization and find out how to create your own fantastic wall using one of our Happy Acts Wall Kits.
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Be positively optimistic #happyacts

Be Positively Optimistic

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! Every month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more people who join the #HappyActs movement, the greater the positive impact we’ll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! October’s Happy Act theme is optimism. Optimistic people feel good about their future and are confident they will achieve positive outcomes. When we adapt to a positive mindset, we enjoy many mental and physical benefits, including lower stress and anxiety, stronger immune systems, better quality sleep and better coping skills. That’s not to say that we put our heads in the sand when bad things happen, but as optimists, we have the power to accept the negativity, deal with it and then move in a positive way. October’s Happy Act is optimism. People who see the glass half full also have better relationships and social interactions which can spread exponentially to other people. This behavior can create a ripple effect of happiness. Throughout your day, try making as many positive connections as you can. It can be a small gesture, such as a kind smile; or something greater, such as seeking out someone who is feeling down and out and letting them know how much you value them as a person and care about the positive outcomes of their future. Your kind gesture just might be the catalyst to turn someone’s day around. A recent study shows that our optimism can extend vicariously to other people, even strangers, when we hold positive and hopeful views about them. Our October Happy Activist is author and mental health advocate Mark Simmonds. His latest memoir Breakdown and Repair: A Father’s Tale of Stress and Success tells the story of how Mark went from suffering a mental breakdown due to stress and on the brink of suicide to championing for destigmatizing mental illness. Despite several setbacks, including helping his daughter Emily battle anorexia, Mark’s hope, resilience and optimism have kept him moving toward his goals for better mental health. After six long years, Emily has overcome the illness and is now thriving. “You are going to get confronted with lots of different situations in life,” he says. “When you come out of them, the reward and recognition you will get for showing resilience will be well worth the effort.” For more on optimism, check out these articles: The New Definition of Happiness Cultural Change and Moral Power A Positive Approach to Problems Time to up your #HappyActs game. Help us spread global happiness by becoming a Happy Activist and host your very own Happiness Wall. Learn how you can host a wall at your school, business or organization and find out how to create your own fantastic wall using one of our Happy Acts Wall Kits.
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Beautiful carefree woman in fields being happy open hands outdoors on sunset in nature summer.

8 Ways to Tune in to What Really Matters–YOU!

When we don’t take the time to dial in to what we need physically, mentally and emotionally our life can feel off-kilter. Your body will tell you what it needs, but are you paying attention? The signs are there, but we are too ‘busy’ to notice or are not open to change? Ask yourself these simple questions: How much sleep do I get? Am I compensating for lack of sleep with caffeine and sugar? Do I eat to perform my best mentally and physically? How do I handle stress? Am I personally and professionally fulfilled? Am I constantly sick, sluggish or depressed? Have I considered speaking to a therapist? What are my self-care routines? Is personal development a priority to me? Am I stuck in a toxic relationship? Here are some ways to make self-care a priority: 1. Take care of your EPM: Emotional, Physical and Mental Health We are happier in our personal and professional lives when we take care of ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally. Carve out “me time” because self-care routines impact how you treat other people and how you handle the life’s challenges. Self-care is not selfish; it enables us to unwind, decompress, process the things we struggle with, and take a good hard look at the influences that drain us; this is an essential way to diminish anger, sadness, grief and disappointment and get us to our center core. 2. Shift Your Mindset There are endless activities you can do to shift your mindset such as: Taking a yoga class, meditation or mindfulness workshop. Journaling your feelings and gratitude. Going off the grid and taking a tech break. Getting a makeover. Throwing a party for no reason (or celebrate the end of something, such as a job or relationship, and the excitement of new beginnings!). Taking a trip. Reconnecting with your faith or exploring a new one. Getting out and meet other incredibly uncomfortable and awkward strangers like yourself. Taking music lessons—music is a great healer. Creating a vision board. Enrolling in an art class—ceramics, drawing, painting, glass blowing, etc. Exploring a new hobby or something you used to enjoy. Attending a TED talk, lecture, inspirational workshop, etc. Learning creative and healthy cooking techniques. Volunteering at a local food bank or animal shelter. 4. Flip Your Struggles into New Beginnings Your rejections and struggles might be knocking the wind out of you, but they just might elevate you to a new start. Be open to new possibilities and keep moving forward. 5. Connect Find a networking group and connect with new faces. People who support you and cheer you on are the best network to have in your life. Toxic and critical people can suck the life out of you. Be selfish with whom you choose to spend your time. Aim for a drama-free life with people who have your back. 6. Let Go of Overthinking We tend to worry about the past, the future, and overlook exactly where we are in the present moment. So much thought is spent anticipating and thinking you know how an event or conversation will play out, but unless you have some visionary powers, let it go. Breathe, take a leap, and quiet your mind. 7. Stop the Negative Self Talk We can be our own worst enemy. Stop berating yourself and holding yourself back with self-sabotage, self-doubt and crippling criticism. Try being your own best friend for a change. Be kind to yourself—inside and out. 8. Vent! Talk to someone you know and trust, such as a counselor, friend or confidante. You do not have to deal with trauma and life’s assaults on your own. Sometimes things are just too tough to process solo. Closing off and shutting down is not healthy or productive. Venting is healthy because you can laugh, cry, yell, analyze, and process whatever it is you are suppressing. Expressing yourself leads to greater self-awareness, new beginnings and much needed healing. Adapted fromJaneane’s new book,Get the Funk Out! %^&$ Happens, What to Do Next!© 2019 by Janeane Bernstein, Ed.D. Published by Post Hill Press June 25, 2019.
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Angela Lewis

Angela Lewis Finds Happiness in Love

Growing up in Detroit taught Angela Lewis that anything can be achieved with hard work and passion. The stage and screen actor has starred in numerous hit shows including Code Black, The Last Ship and The Good Wife. Currently, you can check out her gripping performance as Louise Saint in John Singleton’s latest series Snowfall on FX. Coming from such a strong and caring family, Angela says she was shielded from a lot of “noise” that creeps though beleaguered big cities like Detroit. Finding the right mindset to play the lovelorn, drug-addicted Louise seemed like a challenge for Angela at first, but she turned to compassion to breathe life into the character. “I wanted for everyone to not disregard her and women like her and be able to see her from a compassionate place and human place,” Angela says. “That became really important to me and was the reason I wanted to love her, even if no one else was going to love her. She deserved love.” The cathartic process even opened her own eyes to how easily we can write people off because of their unfortunate circumstances. She believes we all can all be happier in life with a little more love. Who taught you the most about happiness and why? I taught myself the most about happiness through life experience. I certainly have role models and people who I have looked to for examples of this or that. In terms of what makes me happy? I have to go deep and explore the inner workings of myself, because no one can give you happiness. You have to find that on your own; you have to know that it comes from inside you. I’ve learned that the hard way, but I have certainly learned. What do you do to pay if forward? Now that I have a platform, so to speak, I’ve got my eyes open and my ears open for a specific organization or a couple of organizations that I can really connect with and believe in, so they will be able to have a louder voice and longer reach. How do you make others close to you happy? I like to encourage people to be their best selves. I remember I had a birthday party recently and one of my friends said, “I won’t wear that dress, because it’s your birthday.” I said, “Oh no, honey. You wear that dress.” Because, no one can dim my light. Everyone should show up as their best selves and shine. I don’t believe that anyone has to dim for anyone else’s light to shine. The more someone else is shining, that just gives me permission to shine. How do you like to get some down time? Going to the movies, going to see plays. We went go-kart racing recently. I haven’t done that in years. I like to go roller skating, I like to go to dinner with my husband or my friends. All kinds of things. Where is your happy place? This may sound cheesy, but my happy place is anywhere with love. That could be with my husband, if it’s just us two here at home, or overseas somewhere, when I am with my close girlfriends or my family. I think of myself as a pretty happy person. Recently l went to see Amma. She travels the world and gives hugs. I went to visit her for the first when she was in Los Angeles. It was such a beautiful experience, and I was there with my husband and a friend of mine. I met a couple new friends. Eventually we were surrounded by swarms of people I didn’t know, but there was so much love and joy in that space that it was really incredible. Wherever there is love, that is my happy place.
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Members Of Female High School Soccer Team

Beyond Body Image

I’ll never forget the day that my self-confidence about my body plummeted to the ground, only to be restored more than a decade later, long after the damage was done. “The vanilla milkshake goes to the heavy one,” my father noted to the Howard Johnson’s waitress who was taking orders from our family, including my crestfallen, 8-year-old self. “Heavy?” I looked at my father with surprise and hurt as he continued with the table’s lunch order, clearly not applying that dreaded word to my older sister or my mother, the two other females at the table. Having the lowest possible number on the scale was most women’s goal at the time, but until that pivotal moment in my life, weight had been nothing more than what the doctor wrote down at my annual physical, particularly because I didn’t have a weight problem by any conventional standards. At age 14, my peers at my private girl’s school in Washington, D.C., told me that I could throw up all of my food after meals and never pay the price of weight gain. Few people knew enough to call it bulimia, but that’s what it was, and it became my secret self-destructive lover for the next eight years. Although I maintained a public façade of health, bulimia took my personality, athleticism and joy hostage until I started to recover in 1984, a recovery I have successfully maintained for more than 30 years. My two adult sons and adult daughter have disliked their bodies at one time or another, partly because of how society still dictates that shape equals success and happiness, and partly because they inherited a genetic legacy of addictive and/or perfectionist traits from both parents. None live with the tyranny of an eating disorder and haven’t suffered in the ways I did, so I’d like to share a few tips that can help people raise children with better chances of having positive body images in a world that still bombards young adults from every direction with images and statements that continue to judge their physical appearances. Praise who they are, not what they weigh: For most of my life, my parents commented on whether or not I met their criteria for being the right weight. One awful night in high school, they decided that I was so heavy that I had to weigh myself in front of them. I’ll never forget my fury and shame as I climbed onto the scale and the number went higher than what my mother or older sister weighed, but landed on a number certainly not inappropriate for my height of nearly 5 feet 11 inches. If I had heard more praise for my success as an athlete, or my dedication to academics, or that I was more than a number on a scale, it would have gone a long way toward helping me learn how to love myself. Be a good role model around food and fitness: Although both of my parents inherited athletic, lean bodies, they didn’t show me how to take care of my own through positive activities or food consumption. As a parent, I’ve tried to live in the way I wish I had been raised, so there are no scales in our house, I never talk about my weight or go on a diet, I eat consistently and healthfully with moderate portions, and the children know that I pursue competitive and pleasurable athletics because it invigorates and restores my soul. Don’t compare your children to anyone else: Children don’t need to be overpraised for simply existing, because research shows that it is an ineffective way to create self-esteem, but they do need to know that they have unique strengths that are positive and are not tied in with superficial traits like beauty or weight. Carol Dweck, Ph.D., is one of the leading researchers in the field of motivation and achievement. Her work on “fixed” and “growth” mindsets shows that praising children for their efforts is the best way to build persistence and curiosity, so stay focused on what they are passionate about and not what anyone else is doing. Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual. We do the best we can with the tools available to us, and the mistakes we make are not always from a place of malice but from a place of ignorance. Children with positive body images are more likely to come from families that emphasize well-being, gratitude, kindness and healthy activities over superficial goals like beauty and thinness, so foster an environment that promotes the importance of who you are inside and what your healthy body can do for you. This article originally appeared in the April 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine.
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Mental Health Care is Self-Care

Mental Health Care is Self-Care

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional positive actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! Each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we’ll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! May's happiness theme is mental health awareness. According to a recent survey from Harris Polls on behalf of the American Psychological Association, Americans are more open to talking about mental health, believing that people suffering from mental health disorders can get better and should not be ashamed of their situation. Through awareness we can continue take away the social stigma surrounding these issues and realize that mental health is a part of our overall health. When we address our problems head on, we can illuminate the path to healthier, happier lives. Mental health disorders can be common and we may not even realize we are suffering from one. Symptoms such as excessive worrying, lack of energy and social avoidance may be warning signs that something is not quite right. It’s always good to check with your physician or mental health provider to find out if you need a simple mental health screening or any mental health treatment. May’s Happy Act is reaching out to a friend in need. Too often we let technology isolate us from the rest of the world. Studies show that this type of behavior is antisocial and could lead to loneliness and depression, which is bad for your mental health. We encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member that you may not have talked to in a while and reconnect. You’ll both be glad that you did. Our May Happy Activist is Priscilla Herd from Pennsylvania. Priscilla is a counselor at a substance abuse and mental health treatment center where she spends her days giving to others by conducting individual and group therapy for intensive outpatients as well as various levels of care. According to her, “the population we serve is in need of changing their mindset, their environments, their friends and need to engage with happy, positive people, thoughts and things in life. It’s a very real and difficult challenge.” She helps her patients change their addictive thought process into a more positive and other-centered process, while simultaneously teaching the importance of self-care as well, which helps the most in recovery. “Many people may have never known anything positive before entering treatment and recovery,” she says. For more information on mental health, read the articles listed below: How to Go From Recovering to Really Thriving 5 Tools for a Healthy and Happy Mind Finding Mental Wellness with Tipper Gore Mental Health Mission What Do You Live About Yourself? Time to up your #HappyActs game. Help us spread global happiness by becoming a Happy Activist and host your very own Happiness Wall. Learn how you can host a wall at your school, business or organization and find out how to create your own fantastic wall using one of our Happy Acts Wall Kits.
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Live Happy Science of Savoring

The Science of Savoring

Sariah Daine has mastered the art of savoring everyday moments. “I’m looking at the clouds hanging delightfully in this beautiful, blue sky,” noted the artist and grandmother from Madison, Wisconsin, one recent morning. “The air is crisp and smells fresh.” It hasn’t always been this way for Sariah, who has had more than her fair share of life challenges. In recent years she lost her parents, suffered repeated heart issues and had to adjust to living alone on a fixed income. But it is her grandchildren and their health problems that affect her most deeply. “I could spend my entire day worried and depressed over my grandson’s lingering medical issues,” Sariah says about her youngest grandson, who was injured while deployed overseas in the military. “But I’ve learned that I need to be at my best to be able to care for my family and friends.” Now Sariah makes a conscious choice each day to savor good things as a way to balance out life’s difficulties. She’s a good example of what many scientists are now documenting—that savoring our positive experiences is a key to a happy life. Coping and Savoring Savoring is the capacity to notice, appreciate and intensify the positive aspects of our lives. Knowing how to cope with negative events and savor positive ones are two sides of the coin of life experiences. Coping skills help diminish the effects of painful moments, while savoring helps amplify the beauty of joyful ones. Both are essential to living a happy life. While coping strategies have been studied for decades, positive psychologists and scientists who study happiness are now exploring techniques that allow us to linger and luxuriate in positive experiences. When we savor good times, we allow ourselves to sink into the sweet feeling of positive emotions like joy, love, gratitude and serenity. Positive emotions have been shown to, among other things, increase creativity, improve our sleep and even strengthen our immune systems. “Savoring can help us counteract the natural human tendency to focus more of our attention on negative things in our lives than on positive things,” says Fred Bryant, Ph.D., of Loyola University, who co-authored Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience with Joseph Veroff, Ph.D. Savoring the good times multiplies the joy in our lives in two ways: by diminishing the space in our minds devoted to negative thoughts and by amplifying the effects of positive thoughts and feelings. With practice, we can become better at savoring, immersing ourselves ever more deeply in the sunshine of positive experiences. We can create what might be called a savoring mindset. “The key is to not miss the opportunities to savor when they arise,” Fred says. Savoring Everyday Moments “We must not make the mistake of waiting until we have no negative experience in our lives to begin savoring,” Fred says. “In this world, and in our daily lives, we will have tribulation, and it will not disappear. Our challenge is to prioritize savoring, even in the face of adversity—indeed especially in the face of adversity—for that is when we need it most, to help counterbalance the negative effects of stress and suffering.” Sariah is a good example of doing just that. This means we don’t need to wait for the next big thing to amplify our positive emotions. We can linger in the happiness associated with being in nature, watching our children play or eating a favorite meal. That’s something we can do at any time, any place. Fully experiencing our positive emotions can have far-reaching and long-lasting benefits. Positive emotions are more than simply feel-good moments, according to Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., a psychologist who studies emotions at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She considers each positive emotion a contribution to a positivity savings account.   “Positive emotions, although fleeting, accumulate and compound over time in ways that incrementally build people’s enduring resources,” she writes in “The Role of Positive Emotions in Positive Psychology: The Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotions,” which was published in the journal American Psychologist. Savoring helps intensify and expand our connection to positive emotions. People who frequently experience positive emotions are more resilient, resourceful and more likely to form close ties with other people. In addition, they are more likely to function at optimal levels in their lives, no matter how they choose to spend their time.  We build up resources by savoring good times, and we can draw upon these resources when we encounter difficulties in the days ahead. The Social Side of Savoring When we communicate and celebrate our positive experience with others, we are using a social savoring strategy that psychologists call capitalizing. After we’ve enjoyed an experience, we can capitalize on it by reliving the positive emotions as we share details with others. Of course, we can share the joy with others in the moment, too. Research from Shelly Gable, Ph.D., at the University of California, Santa Barbara, found that asking others about their good news and listening closely as they retell stories allow them to bask in the glow of that positive experience. It helps them reconnect with the experience and the uplifting emotions that went with it, and it also helps people asking questions experience positive emotions as they help others savor memories. And, if you savor together regularly, Shelly found, it strengthens the relationship. Savoring the Past, Present and Future As it turns out, savoring isn’t just for the present moment. Like most people, you may have found that you had more fun planning your vacation or reminiscing about it than you had when you were actually on the vacation! You’re not alone; scientists say that savoring can be divided into three time-related categories: anticipatory savoring (leading up to an event), experiential savoring (in the moment) and reminiscent savoring (remembering good times and the positive emotions that accompanied them). Researcher Jordi Quoidbach, Ph.D., of the Barcelona Graduate School of Economics describes experiential savoring as “a mindful approach in which one focuses attention on the present moment and systematically suppresses thoughts unrelated to the current experience.” In direct contrast, Jordi describes anticipatory and reminiscent savoring techniques as removing oneself from the moment. This type of savoring, he says, “consists of stepping back from the present experience to mentally travel through time to remember or anticipate positive personal events.” In a study published in Personality and Individual Differences, Jordi reports that emotional well-being—although experienced differently—increased with each of the three types of time-related savoring. Anticipatory savoring takes place before an event. In our vacation example, it might involve watching films set in our vacation spot or collecting maps or guidebooks to plan an itinerary. When we actively plan or imagine good times ahead, we are practicing anticipatory savoring. Experiential savoring occurs in the here and now. It involves being mindful of good things happening as you enjoy a fancy breakfast or the smell of the sea while on vacation. It also happens on a daily basis as you look for things and experiences in your life to appreciate and savor. The key is to not put too much pressure on yourself to make the most of each moment. Simply notice the sights, sounds and smells around you. What parts of this moment are most enjoyable? Reminiscent savoring happens after the fact, when we relive positive moments. We might just drift off into our memories, or we can create activities to help. Looking at photographs or telling friends about our trip is a great way to ramp up reminiscent savoring. One way to enhance reminiscent savoring is to plan a positive activity at the end of your event. This taps into what scientists call peak-end theory, or the finding that we tend to remember the high point (peak) of an experience as well as the way it ended. To the extent possible, try to plan a favorite activity at the end of your event to help you leverage the peak-end theory. You can use this approach to successfully end meetings, parties or even a workout. Don’t Be a Wet Blanket Sometimes we short-circuit our ability to enjoy good times, something scientists refer to as “dampening.” Instead of lingering in good feelings, we cut them short. We dampen our positive emotions when we suppress or minimize good feelings, distract ourselves away from an enjoyable moment, find fault or see only the negative in an otherwise positive situation. Dampening our positive experiences can be seen as an opposite to savoring them. “Such individual differences in the propensity to savor or dampen positive emotions may play an important role for one’s overall well-being,” says Jordi, relating it back to Barbara’s research. “Indeed, the broaden-and-build theory suggests that the cultivation of positive emotions helps to build lasting resources that, in turn, enhance life satisfaction, increase the likelihood of experiencing future positive emotions, and foster resilience to negative ones.” Sometimes dampening positive emotions is appropriate. If you’ve just been promoted and your co-workers weren’t, for example, postponing any celebratory savoring might be in order. Don’t Wait, Savor Today Many of us fall into the trap of thinking that our happiness is just around the corner. Savoring is an active way to notice and enjoy good things already present in our lives. Sure, there are times when we’ll take big steps to change and improve. We may decide to move to exciting new places or to leave jobs that we no longer find rewarding. But to be truly happy, we need not necessarily make big changes. It could be as simple as changing our perspective, such as Sariah’s decision to focus on the current blessings in her life rather than being overwhelmed by its challenges. “Positive events may set the stage for people to experience savoring. But positive events alone are not enough to bring about happiness. People need to be able to attend to and appreciate” those positive feelings, Fred says. This article originally appeared in the April 2016 issue of Live Happy magazine.
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Cute little schoolgirl drawing in book with classmates in background at classroom

The ABCs of Positivity

A friend presented the idea of starting a Live Happy journal project through Facebook.I saw her brief explanation of what Live Happy is all about when she announced she was starting the project with her students.I went online and checked it out myself and thought it would be a fun to do with my fifth-graders at Chester Thompson Elementary school in Tacoma, Washington. Just the idea of focusing on happiness, as opposed to everything we can complain about, is what appealed to me.Often, I have students who walk in the door first thing in the morning and complain, “I’m tired,” “I want to go play,” etc.Typical kid responses, especially with the group of students I work with.We have one of the highest numbers of kids who qualify for free or reduced lunches within the elementary schools in my district, and many of our kids have very difficult home lives—homelessness, drugs, absent parents, you name it. However, we discussed as a class how we could turn those complaints into something to be happy about.For example, “I’m tired” can turn into: “At least I got up for school on time so I can work on doing my best and learn as much as I can.” I wanted to do whatever I could to shine some light on these kids and get them to find some happiness. The day I officially started the project was a day one of my co-workers, who is currently battling cancer and dealing with chemo treatments, broke down.She was tired, felt overworked and didn’t feel that she was being the teacher, wife and mother that she wanted to be.It was at that moment that I realized we needed to start something here that could bring light to any situation.I told my students, “You never know what someone is going through, so asking someone about their day, holding the door for someone or inviting someone into their group of friends all can be ways to spread happiness. Little acts of kindness.” In this case, a hug for my co-worker and some kind words from a few of us teachers helped to soften the blow a bit. I wanted my students to understand that a little bit of kindness can go a long way." My students make a journal entry every day.It is part of their morning work.They come in, put their things away, complete a math problem and finish up with a journal entry of a happy moment or act of kindness. Many kids make comments in their journals about how happy they made me when they finally “got” something or asked for help.A few have mentioned that they’ve written me a note thanking me for being their teacher, and when they saw me read it I had a huge smile on my face.Other comments include things like telling their bus driver “thank you” for taking them to and from school and to “have a nice day” or explaining how they helped out at home with younger siblings. And at the end of each day, I let two or three kiddos share one of their Live Happy moments. They love to share, and it is a way to give other kids ideas for how they can make other people happy. Teacher stress is a huge issue—the long hours, the lack of materials, the amount of money we spend on our classrooms—the list can go on and on.I’ve personally spread the word to a few other teachers in my school.My teaching partner has her kids keep a journal, and about once a week their prompt is to write about something they did to make someone else happy. Many of my students have told me they have told other kids about our project.I see many of them wearing the orange bracelets we received from you.A few kids have passed on the Live Happy journals you sent us to their siblings.And this week during conferences, I’ve had many parents tell me that their student has talked to them quite a few times about their Live Happy journal.Some even bring it home on a regular basis to write more than what is required. I hope to continue spreading the word around my school and possibly out into the community as well.We’re still only in the beginning, but hopefully as the year goes on, more people will become interested. I think the mindset has changed with my students because I’ve noticed fewer complaints.When one kid complains about something, other kids chime in and rephrase their statement to something more positive.It’s been pretty cool to see. Advice to other teachers This journal project has been a fun way to find the happiness in each day.It gets the kids writing, and it seems to inspire them to want to do things to make others happy.They’re realizing how it makes them feel when they do something nice for someone else.They feel good inside. With high-stakes testing and rigorous academic material, kids are often stressed.Those with difficult home lives are really stressed.So hopefully, this is just one way to help them feel good.
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Podcast Transcripts

The editors ofLive Happymagazine bring you ideas and research on how to live a happier and more meaningful life with Live Happy Now. You'll find dozens of interviews with positive psychology and well-being thought leaders, celebrities and more. Every Tuesday, a new episode transcript will be uploaded to read! Don't miss an episode!Live Happy Nowis available at the following places: Need help on how to download and review a podcast?We've got your answers here! Season 4 2018 August 7 - Finding Self-Compassion With Kristin Neff August 14 - Making Your Brain Hum With Joe Bates August 21 - Fun at Work With Scott Crabtree August 28 - Mindful Breathing With Nick Ortner September 4 - Happy at Home With Rebecca West September 11 - Midlife Moxie With Jonathan Rauch September 18 - Becoming Resilient With Rick Hanson September 25 - Let Creativity Flow With Keiko Agena October 2 - Strengths-Based Parenting With Lea Waters October 9 - Extreme Grit With Snowmobiler Colten Moore October 16 - Short Cuts to Happiness With Tal Ben-Shahar October 23 - Rebuild Your Health With Dr. Z October 30 - Make Work Your Playground With Andrea Goeglein November 6 - Build a Happier Brain With Dawson Church November 13 - Get Unstuck With Dr. Sasha Heinz November 20 - Practicing Gratitude With Deborah Heisz November 27 - Happiness Hacks With Alex Palmer December 4 - Less Stress for the Holidays With Nancy Jane Smith December 11 - Discovering Wholebeing Happiness With Megan McDonough December 18 - Make the Most of 2019 With Deborah Heisz 2019 January 1 - Overcoming Overwhelm With Dr. Samantha Brody January 8 - 5 Books That Will Change Your Life in 2019 With Sandra Bilbray January 15 - How to Become a Happy Activist in 2019 January 22 - The Year of Living Happy With Alli Worthington January 29 - The Power of Timing With Daniel Pink February 5 - Playful Intelligence With Dr. Anthony DeBenedet February 12 - Reinventing Valentine's Day With Stacy Kaiser February 19 - Flourishing Later in Life With Mary Pipher February 26 - Looking Inward With Laird Hamilton March 5 - Outer Order, Inner Calm With Gretchen Rubin March 12 - Working Together With Shola Richards March 19 - Celebrating Live Happy Now's 200th Episode With Deborah Heisz March 26 - Making Time With Jake Knapp April 2 - Happy Child Summit With Renee Jain April 9 - Overcoming Your Fears To Lead the Life You Love With Ruth Soukup April 16 - Inside the World Happiness Report With Chris Libby April 23 - Turning Off Your Job With Bryan E. Robinson April 30 - Finding Connections With Mark Nepo May 7 - Become a Memory-Making Mom With Jessica Smartt May 14 - Creating Your Best Life With Susan Hyatt May 21 - Overcoming Stress in America With Chris Libby May 28 - The Power of Character Strengths With Ryan Niemiec June 4 - What Our Jobs Do for Us With Suzanne Skees June 11 -Women's Happiness Summit With Carin Rockind June 18 - Reinventing Yourself With Sheri Salata June 25 - Get the Funk Out With Janeane Bernstein July 2 - (It's Great to) Suck at Something With Karen Rinaldi July 9 - Appreciating Others With Chris Libby July 16 - Happier Aging With Louise Aronson July 23 - Living Life as an Extrovert With Jessica Pan July 30 - How Plants Make Us Happier With Summer Rayne Oakes Season 5 August 6 - What's New in Positive Psychology With Deborah K. Heisz August 12 - Hacking Your Brain for Happiness With Patrick Porter, Ph.D. August 20 - Living Longer and Happier Through Kindness With Kelli Harding August 27 - 5 Steps to an Extraordinary Life With Zack Friedman September 3 - 7 Steps to Self-Improvement With Chris Libby and Paula Felps September 10 - The Power of Unplugging With Tiffany Shlain September 17 - The Beauty of Conflict for Couples With CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke September 24 - Making Good Habits Stick With Wendy Wood October 1 - Teaching Kids Positive Messages With Again Again October 8 - The Importance of Self-Forgiveness With Stacy Kaiser October 15 - Overcoming Workplace Bullying With Dr. Britt Andreatta October 22 - Embracing Slowness With Jeff Bethke October 29 - Digital Detangling With Pete Dunlap November 5 - Developing a Winning Mindset With Annie Vernon November 12 - Happiness Around the World With Helen Russell November 19 - Train Your Brain for Happiness With Dr. Tara Swart November 25 - The Thank-You Project With Nancy Davis Kho December 2 - Simple Abundance Revisited With Sarah Ban Breathnach December 9 - Discovering the Power of Community With Peter Montoya December 16 - Holiday happiness Tips With Joe McCormack
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