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Let Happiness Impact Your Bottom Line

Recently we caught up with one of our Live Happy "Positive Work" columnists Margaret H. Greenberg for a discussion of how incorporating positive psychology into your company can make a big difference in the way you work: Live Happy: Your book, Profit from the Positive, was the first book we featured in our very first issue back in October 2013. Since then, I understand you and your co-authorSeniaMaymin, Ph.D., have been speaking to businesses, organizations and universities around the world about how they can create more positive work environments. What have you learned over the last three years? Margaret: Employees and managers are thirsty for a more positive approach to running their organizations. While fixing problems and shoring up weaknesses are important to the success of any business, if that’s all you focus on, it can be a drain of energy. A fix-it mindset also causes you to miss out on an important part of the equation—focusing on what’s going right and leveraging people’s strengths. Live Happy: Why should organizations care about creating more positivity at work? Margaret: It’s quite simple. More positive work environments create more positive, engaged employees, and more engaged employees create more loyal and happier customers. For example, in my research study at a large financial services company, we found that managers who gave more frequent recognition and encouragement had teams that were more than 40 percent more productive compared to managers who gave little or no feedback. Live Happy: What’s the best way to keep meetings positive and productive? Margaret: First, start with a sizzle. Begin your meetings by asking a positive question such as, “What’s the best thing that has happened since we met last week? or What are you most proud of?” University of North Carolina psychologist Dr. Barbara Fredrickson has found that when people are in a positive emotional state they are more open to possibilities and more creative, and we all know we could use more of those qualities in the workplace, especially when we’re trying to solve complex problems. Live Happy: How do you keep one team member’s negativity from dragging down the group? Margaret: Dr. Sigal Barsade from the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business has found that it only takes one person out of five to “infect” a group with a positive or negative mood. Remember this the next time you find yourself in the company of a negative person. Imagine a shield or cape that is protecting you from getting “infected” and be that one person who infects the group with some positivity. Live Happy: One of our favorite questions you and your co-author Senia Maymin, Ph.D., ask at the end of every chapter in your book is: What is one small change you can make that will have the biggest positive impact? What would you advise for our Live Happy readers? Margaret: Be mindful of the mood you are projecting when you walk into work or return home at the end of the day. Psychologists call this contagion theory. We call it the “The Achoo! Effect.” Your emotions, both positive and negative, are contagious. Be sure you are spreading more cheer than fear. Be a positive deviant! Right now, get a 40% discount on Margaret and Senia's 10-week Profit From the Positive certificate program by registering here! Save more than $1000 on the course when you use the promo code: LiveHappy 2017. Margaret Greenberg is an experienced executive coach and author of the book Profit from the Positive: Proven Leadership Strategies to Boost Productivity and Transform Your Business.

Mario Andretti Follows His Passions at Full Speed

Lifestyle

Mario Andretti Chases His Passions at Full Speed

Few men are so successful in a chosen field that their name becomes synonymous with their profession, but racing legend Mario Andretti has achieved that iconic status. From humble beginnings in his native Italy through his glory days on racetracks all over the globe, Mario’s life has been an incredible journey. And even at 76, he refuses to shift gears and slow his pace as the Indianapolis 500 celebrates its 100th running on May 29. “I’ve been totally blessed, and because I’ve had such a long career, I’ve been able to cover the entire globe,” Mario says. Today he owns a winery and a petroleum business and also works closely with several major corporations including Firestone, where he’s had a long relationship as a test driver and spokesperson. “I’ve raced in five continents, and I’ve won at least one race in all of them,” he says. “I’ve always set some very, very ambitious goals. I’m always looking for the stars. You have to have the mindset.” That mindset has brought Mario decades of happiness, but his journey to becoming the world’s most famous race car driver didn’t start out an easy one. Mario was born in Montona, Italy, but after World War II, the town was ceded to Yugoslavia and fell under Communist rule. Three years later his family fled his hometown and eventually landed in a refugee camp in Lucca, Italy. The Andrettis lived there for seven years before obtaining visas and moving to the United States, settling in Pennsylvania when Mario was 15. Born to race His love of racing began even before he came to America. “Something captured my imagination at a very young age,” Mario says. “Italy was very prominent in the ’50s in Formula One [racing] with Ferrari and Maserati. My idol was the world champion Alberto Ascari,” Mario says, recalling the one time he saw Alberto race before the Andretti family moved to America. “As a kid you formulate your dreams and, quite honestly, the more I got into it, the more I had a goal. And I didn’t have a plan B. I had a one-track mind to pursue this and I had no idea how, when or where, but I did it—and we did it, my twin brother, Aldo, and I. “Together we had the same ambitions, and of course the sport was not so kind to him [Aldo was in a terrible crash that nearly killed him early in his career]. That’s when you come to realize that if you come through unscathed, as I have, how fortunate you’ve been.” Life in the fast lane Mario is often quoted as saying, “If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough,” and that fearless spirit has served him well. He won his first significant victory in March 1962 and went on to take the checkered flag 111 times over the course of five decades in racing. Before he retired from the sport in 1994, Mario had won the Indianapolis 500, the Daytona 500 and the Formula One World Championship. He won the Indy Car National Championship four times and was a three-time winner at Sebring International Raceway. He dominated in every type of car, from sports cars to stock cars, and every kind of track, from pavement to dirt, ovals and road courses to drag strips. His list of accomplishments would run for miles, but highlights include being named Driver of the Year in three different decades (the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s), Driver of the Quarter Century (in the ’90s), and Driver of the Century by The Associated Press in 2000. The family business When asked what he feels has made him so successful, Mario says, “It comes down to desire, just a burning desire to accomplish something and commit to it. I wanted to do this. I enjoy it so much, I didn’t want a day off. I raced 40 to 50 races a year. I had this burning passion to be a part of it, and I’m still living the dream with the family. There are three generations of drivers both on my brother’s side and my own. We know nothing else.” Indeed the Andretti name will always be known for racing, and Mario is proud to see grandson Marco Andretti carrying on the family tradition. “The biggest satisfaction is seeing Marco do what I love and seeing him enjoy it,” Mario says. “He loves it as much as I did. It gives me so much pleasure to see that, and my son, Michael, is fielding a very powerful team. It’s all part of our DNA. Would I ever want to do anything else? Absolutely not.” Being with the people he loves is clearly just as important to Mario as doing what he loves. Mario married his wife, Dee Ann, in 1961, and they have three children and seven grandchildren. “Somehow we hit it off and that’s it, we never looked back,” he says of meeting Dee Ann in school shortly after his family moved to America. He credits her support with fueling his success over the decades. “I just married the right woman. She’s the one that understood and gave me the opportunity to satisfy a career to the fullest. She never nagged, and there was no ticker tape parade when I came home with a trophy. I got the same kiss or hug if I won or lost, so that kept everything stable, and that’s what I needed. She was the rock and still is.” The Indy 500 Mario is looking forward to this Memorial Day weekend and the 100th running of what has been called the “greatest spectacle in racing,” the Indy 500. He’ll be there participating in numerous activities throughout the weekend. “It’s been there longer than any other sporting event, and I think that pretty much says it all,” he says of the famed Indianapolis race. “It’s an incredible legacy, so that’s why it’s a very coveted celebration that we’re looking forward to.” Mario is profoundly grateful for his long and distinguished career. At 76, he recently passed his physical and is still licensed to drive a race car. It remains a passion after all these years. “Even though my kids and grandkids are all involved, I cannot just be a spectator,” Mario says. “I’m not that kind. My passion is to continue doing all the things that I’ve been doing. Go to the limit and not give up. “The definition of happiness is to really enjoy life to the fullest,” he says. “Try to do things that actually make you smile,” Mario advises. “I’ve been so lucky to look forward to going to work and then, when my work is done, to look forward to being with my family for the quality time that we have together. If you can formulate your life in those terms, you can’t do any better than that.” Deborah Evans Price is a freelance writer based in Nashville, Tennessee.

Reading

7 Books to Spark Your Career Reboot

We spend so much of our lives at work. When you dread your job and you find yourself clock-watching, that unhappiness can easily spill over to life outside of work. Whether you are in need of a career shift or a complete makeover, here are seven amazing books to change your work life. Turn your passion into your profession. Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business By Charles Duhigg Journalist Charles Duhigg explores how you can get more done without having to sacrifice what you care about most. Strengthen your internal locus of control (self-accountability). Researchers have found that this sense of personal responsibility is correlated with academic success, higher self-motivation, lower incidences of stress and depression and a longer life span. Practice this learned skill by taking actions that put you in control and express your values. Are You Fully Charged? The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life By Tom Rath Create meaning with small wins each day. Your greatest potential for growth and development lies in the area where you already have natural talent. Double down on your talents and spend your time doing what you can do better than anyone in the world. Practice, build your skills and your knowledge. Create positive experiences with the people who mean the most to you. How you eat, move and sleep are all essential to having more energy throughout the day. Make sure you are doing all three well in order to be your best for work, your family and your friends. The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant To Do By Jeff Goins Live a life that matters by discovering what you were born and meant to do. This book will help you get on the path to your life’s work. Jeff writes that knowing our passion is just the beginning, and that figuring out your purpose is also about where your interests intersect and connect with the needs of the world. We can live for a larger purpose when we are brave enough to try. Do Over: Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck By Jon Acuff Need a career do-over? Whether you are 22 or 62, you already have everything you need for an amazing career. Jon Acuff writes that all great careers have four elements in common: relationships, skills, character and hustle. Find out how to amplify each of these areas to reinvent your work and get unstuck. You can even rescue your Mondays as you discover how to work toward the job you’ve always wanted. The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Control of Your Life By Bernard Roth Discover how to use design thinking to fulfill goals and overcome obstacles that hinder you from reaching your potential. Achievement can be learned. It’s a muscle, and once you learn how to flex it, you’ll be able to meet life’s challenges and fulfill your goals. Build resiliency by reinforcing what you do rather than what you accomplish. Soon you will say goodbye to excuses, and see yourself as a doer and achiever. Workplace Wellness that Works: 10 Steps to Infuse Well-Being and Vitality into Any Organization By Laura Putnam Discover how to promote an overall culture of well-being throughout your organization. Based on the latest research using real-world examples, this guide provides employers with the tools to make a difference in their employees' health and happiness. Learn how to assess your organization's needs and craft a plan that actually benefits employees by empowering them to make better choices. Love Your Job: The New Rules for Career Happiness By Kerry Hannon Learn how to identify the little things that make work enjoyable and engaging. You won’t have to watch the clock anymore to get through workday doldrums. Kerry Hannon focuses on the little things that can make a big difference in how we feel about work. Invigorate your day by challenging old routines, learning new habits and changing your thought patterns. Celebrate small successes and get an entrepreneurial mindset. Possibilities await you. Sandra Bilbray is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.

Self-Care

Never Second-Guess Yourself Again

Do you ever get together with friends or family, have a great time but later second-guess something you did or said? If you replay events and often wish you could have a do-over, second-guessing could be robbing you of joy and self-esteem. Ruminating about our choices can make us feel pretty miserable. Here, our experts weigh in on why we do this and how we can stop. Build up your self-trust Second-guessing is often caused by not trusting ourselves. Self-doubt can happen as a result of critical parents, perfectionist tendencies, low self-confidence or pessimistic thinking. “When you are low in confidence,” says positive psychology expert Caroline Miller, “research shows that you are more likely to doubt your perceptions and judgment, and make you feel that you need the approval of others. This behavior can lead to depression, anxiety and procrastination.” (Caroline's upcoming book Authentic Grit looks closely at this phonemenon and many others affecting women and power.) “Lacking confidence in our judgments indicates a feeling that the world is out of control and that you don’t have the ability to ground yourself with your own positive choices, which is an indicator of pessimistic thinking,” Caroline explains. Pat Pearson, the author of Stop Self-Sabotage, says we torment ourselves with self-doubt because we are mirroring the people we grew up with, but we can change if we shift from negative to positive thinking. Here are six expert tips on how we can end the self-torment of second-guessing. 1. Notice and replace “The first step is to notice your negative thoughts and then intentionally intervene with a better thought,” Pat says. “When you tell yourself, ‘I will be fine,’ your mind doesn’t believe it, so instead, start a sentence with ‘I choose’ and say something you can believe. For example, say ‘I choose to do everything in my power to create a positive outcome.’” 2. Embrace risk-taking “Go outside your comfort zone when making decisions and decide you are going to risk failure or disapproval,” Caroline says. “Inevitably you will find that nothing disastrous happened, and you might even feel exhilarated from breaking free from the constant need for approval or praise. When we seek out the uncertain and unknown, we push into territory that could lead to our biggest wins. Playing it safe leads to mediocrity,” Caroline says. We can learn how to do this in small chunks, according to Caroline, by having small mastery experiences along the way and building up belief in ourselves. 3. Accept and redirect Accept that you won’t always get things right the first time. If something isn’t going as you hoped, take responsibility and intentionally redirect by tweaking your decisions. “If you always play it safe, you never have a chance to discover how strong and resilient you are, or how creative you can be in searching for solutions,” Caroline says. 4. Build up your self-trust Instead of acting in the moment, switch from your immediate self to your broader self and draw on your life experiences, goals and known abilities to get a full picture and make better decisions about what to say and do. Check in with yourself and learn to trust the broader person. 5. Embrace a growth mindset People who are fixated on doing and saying the right thing have a fixed mindset, Caroline explains. “When this is the case, they believe failure of any kind is a moral indictment as opposed to a learning situation to get better. We all can develop a growth mindset if we decide that mistakes are what allow our minds and abilities to get stronger, and in doing so, we become smarter, more successful and more persistent.” 6. Rewire your brain for self-compassion Practice self-compassion through a meditation called “loving-kindness,” Caroline suggests. Sit quietly and accept your thoughts as they come to you without forming judgments and send compassion to yourself and others. “This has been found to completely rewire the brain and help in situations where depression and low-confidence are chronic.” People who don’t question or berate themselves use skills like risk-taking, self-belief, positive self-talk and optimistic thinking to keep second-guessing at bay. With a little practice, we all can use these skills to stop second-guessing and enjoy life so much more. Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO ofTheMediaConcierge.net.

Self-Care

The Final Countdown

As we wrap up the Live Happy 90 Days to a Happier You challenge, section editor Chris Libby writes a final blog about setting goals and sticking with them. My coaching sessions with Caroline Miller, MAPP, have taught me some things about myself that I might not have previously admitted or believed. For starters, she described me as the type of person who doesn’t feel as effective in my own life as much as I’d like to be—that I kind of “drift” without really knowing where I’m going or how I got here. (This would explain why leadership was on the lower end of the spectrum when I took the VIA Character Strengths survey.) But I hated the movie Patton She says she runs into this a lot with her clients. So many of us have a mental image of what a leader is (cue images of John Wayne and Gen. Patton), and leading others with such bravado and machismo can be daunting or even unappealing. In reality, though, what’s lacking is intrinsic leadership, or the ability to take charge of oneself. To achieve a goal...set by someone else A few years ago I ran a half-marathon. I trained for the race and finished in a respectable time. Running the 13.1 miles was a great goal, I know, but I didn’t set it for myself. Months before the race, I had casually mentioned to my wife (remember her? the overachieving goal-setter?) that it might be nice to run a half-marathon. She’d agreed, but little did I know that the gears in her head had been set in motion to turn this nonchalant comment into reality. So that year for Father’s Day I received running shoes from her on my daughter’s behalf, and inside my card was another unexpected gift: the receipt for an upcoming half-marathon in my name! I had to run the race. How could I ever look my sweet little red-headed daughter in the face if I didn’t? This time, it's personal In that case, the half-marathon was what Caroline calls an “extrinsic goal,” which is still a goal, but it’s one that someone else sets for you. And while, I admit, it did feel good to complete the half-marathon, I can’t live my life achieving goals other people have set for me—I have to create and complete my own. So, I signed up to run a different half-marathon in April, but this time I’m doing it for myself. I want to experience the positive benefits of not letting myself down, including boosts in confidence and self-efficacy. And while completing a half-marathon isn’t exactly a lifelong goal, I do enjoy running, and at the start of the 90-day challenge, I didn’t have as much time for it as I’d liked. By making this commitment to myself, I had to plan, strategize and execute. Setting the scene for success To make this goal work, I made a game plan: I rearranged my schedule to accommodate morning runs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and I started laying out my clothes for work the night before, going to bed earlier and waking up earlier. The first week, I overslept and missed my Monday run. But I had pledged to myself to complete this task, so instead of getting discouraged, I gave myself some latitude and geared up for the Wednesday run. As my alarm sounded Wednesday morning, I sprung out of bed (creative liberty used here to enhance excitement), put on my running clothes and hit the trail. I did it. My first morning run was a success, as was my second, and then my third, and so on. Nearly 12 weeks later, even despite the occasional setback, I’m committed more than ever to my schedule because I know it will help make my goal reality. Brainwash yourself I’ve also “primed my environment,” another great goal-setting tool that Caroline taught me. Every day, I see a picture of me from my last half-marathon and a note of the race time I’d like to achieve, and every day, it’s easier to get in the right mindset to reach my goal. As my 90-day challenge nears the finish line, I have enlightened myself to the “world of me.” My morning runs energize the rest of my day, which has a positive effect on my work; I’m free to spend the evenings with my family; and I’ve gained confidence and pride from taking control of my life. Realizing that the power to achieve is within my control is empowering, something I hope you will realize as well as you set out on your own goal-setting journey. There will always be risk involved when we want to climb a mountain, but there is no true achievement without risk. Once we rid ourselves of mental hurdles, it all starts with taking the first step. Read Chris's first blog here. Catch up on his second blog here. Listen to Chris and the other Live Happy staff discuss their 90 Day challenges on our podcast here. Chris Libby is the section editor at Live Happy magazine.

Podcast Work

Setting Career Goals with Caroline Miller

In this special podcast series we have partnered with top well-being experts to help coach five members of our Live Happy team on how to make better choices and build habits that lead to more fulfilling lives. Through this series we'll tackle life-changing topics such as improving communication with others, managing negative thinking, overcoming chronic insomnia, setting life goals and learning to unplug from work. In this episode Live Happy magazine Science Editor Paula Felps talks with Caroline Miller who has been a pioneer with her ground-breaking work in the areas of goal setting/accomplishment, grit, happiness and success. She is recognized as one of the world’s leading positive psychology experts on this research and how it can be applied to one’s life for maximum transformation and growth. What you'll learn in this podcast: The science of goal-setting The link between happiness and success How to cultivate the mindset and behaviors that can create grit Links and resources mentioned in this episode: Find out more about the 90 Days to a Happier You project Read about Chris Libby and his journey to better goals Thank you to our partner - AARP Life Reimagined!

Top 10 Happiness Books You Don’t Want To Miss in 2016

Reading

Top 10 Books That Will Change Your Life in 2016

Our preview of 10 carefully selected books will help you craft a happier life filled with small moments of meaning and the occasional flash of triumph. Step out of your comfort zone and make 2016 a year to thrive. 1. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges By Amy Cuddy Try standing in the Superwoman pose. Feeling more confident already? Harvard professor Amy Cuddy, known for her TED talk on power poses, says we can tackle things that once terrified us with small changes in our body language and mindset. Read real stories of people who have flourished by harnessing the power of their own presence. 2. The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything By Neil Pasricha Best-selling author of The Book of Awesome, Neil Pasricha sets out to change how you think about your time, career, family and your happiness in this latest book. He explores the nine secrets to happiness, including the belief that retirement is a broken theory, success doesn’t lead to happiness, and multitasking is a myth. 3. Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person By Shonda Rhimes Shonda Rhimes, creator of TV shows such as Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder, is an introvert and workaholic who dreads public appearances. When her sister tells her that she “never says yes to anything,” she takes up the challenge. Year of Yes is a heartfelt and funny look at the terrifying and sometimes embarrassing moments of saying yes and overcoming some of her greatest fears, from public speaking to appearing on late-night TV. 4. Yoga and the Pursuit of Happiness: A Beginner's Guide to Finding Joy in Unexpected Places By Sam Chase True happiness can be simpler than we ever thought possible with the help of yoga. Why yoga? This ancient practice helps overcome discontent by quieting the mind and aligning our actions with our purpose. Yoga, this book implores, helps you realize that small, everyday moments infused with meaning, and not grand gestures, ultimately lead to happiness. 5. Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy By Deborah Heisz Live Happy Chief Operating Officer and Co-founder Deborah Heisz, along with the editors of Live Happy magazine, bring you the latest research on the practices and actions that contribute to a happy life through deeply meaningful stories from everyday people and celebrities alike. Alanis Morissette, Shawn Achor, Gretchen Rubin and Jason Mraz are just a few of the people who reveal how small tweaks in your attitude and behavior can greatly enhance your daily joy. 6. The Here and Now Habit: How Mindfulness Can Help You Break Unhealthy Habits Once and for All By Hugh G. Byrne This thoughtful tome shows us how to break bad habits like constantly checking email and emotional over-eating by learning how to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness, the author claims, means creating healthier habits so you can stop living on autopilot and start living in the present. 7. Balanced and Barefoot: How Unrestricted Outdoor Play Makes for Strong, Confident, and Capable Children By Angela J. Hanscom Unstructured freedom of movement and outdoor play are vital for children’s cognitive development and growth, according to Angela J. Hanscom, pediatric occupational therapist and founder of TimberNook, an international nature-based program. Kids need rough-and-tumble outdoor play to develop their sensory, motor and executive functions, according to Angela. Instead, many lead sedentary lifestyles that can lead to health and cognitive difficulties. This book shows parents how to help their children thrive—even in an urban environment. 8. The Best Place To Work: The Art and Science of Creating an Extraordinary Workplace By Ron Friedman, Ph.D. In this book, award-winning psychologist Ron Friedman explains how to create a better workplace that will increase productivity and meaning at work. He shares his findings in the fields of motivation, creativity, behavioral economics and neuroscience. Filled with best practices, Ron shows how to boost creativity so that workers can make better decisions and generally feel more alive at work. 9. The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success By Emma Seppala, Ph.D. The latest findings in cognitive psychology and neuroscience reveal that our happiness has a profound effect on our professional lives by increasing our productivity as well as our emotional and social intelligence. Stanford researcher Emma Seppala explains that our outdated notion of equating success with living in a stressed-out, overdrive mode prevents sustainable happiness. Put yourself on the path to success with her practical steps. 10. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance By Angela Duckworth Renowned positive psychologist Angela Duckworth shows us that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent, but a focused persistence called grit. Identifying your passion and following through on your commitments are factors that contribute more to success than talent alone. In her first book, she explains and expounds on her groundbreaking research on grit, which shows that it may be more indicative of success than factors such as IQ or genetics. Read more: 10 Life-Changing Books That Will Stay With You Forever Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.

Practice

7 Steps Back From Depression

When I was in my 20s, I just wanted to stay in bed and cry. I had a journalism degree but worked as an administrative assistant and a waitress. A rough childhood with an alcoholic mother made me think I couldn’t do any better. I had an apartment that I shared with a friend, but depression left me feeling lost and hopeless. Desperately wanting to feel differently, I made an appointment with a psychologist. My psychologist was funny and blunt. After a long psychological assessment, he described me back to me: “Chronic depression; fear of abandonment; angry but you have a difficult time expressing it; people pleaser.” That hurt, but it also hit home. Talk therapy helped me because I finally felt heard and understood what was happening inside my head. I’d drive home from those appointments and write down everything I could remember. I wanted to study my way out of depression’s dark grip. Slowly, I started to feel strong. My solution wasn’t a quick fix, but I came away from therapy with an emotional toolkit that has stood the test of time. Here are some of the things I’ve learned: 1. Practice self-compassion Would you treat a friend the way you treat yourself? When I was depressed, I condemned myself for normal human flaws. Start treating yourself in the same compassionate way you would treat a child or close friend. Give yourself a soft place to land when things don’t go right or something doesn’t work out. Take our quiz: Are You Sabotaging Your Self-Esteem? 2. Make decisions that make you feel good about you Every decision you make can impact how you feel about yourself. Sharing a kind word, acting with integrity or facing a fear can all make you feel good about yourself, even in small doses. 3. Decide what you want your life to look like I learned in therapy that our relationships are often a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. When I was depressed in my 20s, my relationships were a mess. As I worked on me, I watched every aspect of my life improve: relationships, work, health, finances and personal goals. I made a list of what my life looked like in each of those areas, and what I wanted my life to look like. This simple step of jotting things down in a notebook was life-changing because it gave me a road map to follow. Inaction fuels depression. Action builds confidence and dissipates depression. Read more: 10 Questions That Will Change Your Life 4. Spend time with your strengths and assets If you are tough on yourself, spend some time doing the things you do well. Your strengths are your guideposts for who you are. My self-worth used to feel like an empty tank. Today, I keep it full by focusing on my strengths instead of dwelling on each flaw. Notice and be grateful for your positive traits, skills and abilities. Now I even laugh a little bit about the things I’m not so good at. 5. Sleep on it If you have a down day, wait it out and see how you feel tomorrow. Sleep can magically change your outlook and give you a fresh perspective. 6. Write it out I used journaling from the time I could write. It was my escape and my place of solace. Journaling is a cathartic and healing practice. As you write, your mind has a safe place to express thoughts. You connect with your authentic feelings. Writing can be incredibly illuminating and can help lead your mind out of its darkest place. 7. Take risks When I started going to therapy, I had an intense fear of being alone and not having a boyfriend at all times. Boyfriends were mirrors for me and if I didn’t have one, I didn’t think I had value. Facing my fear of living alone gave me the courage to realize I determine my own value. My choice to seek talk therapy put me on a path to fight depression and win. I still struggle from time-to-time with the ghosts of old issues, but I now see my battle with depression as a resilience builder that gave me the tools to be an incredibly happy adult. Read more: Top 10 Natural Remedies to Calm Your Anxiety Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.

Self-Care

10 Questions That Will Change Your Life

When we think about something that has the power to change our lives, we usually think big: a new job, a move across country, a relationship beginning or ending. Sometimes something small but meaningful can change the trajectory of our lives, such as a powerful book, a movie or even a gift.It may be surprising, but even a question—complex, pointed, and mulled over with care—can change the direction of your life. Take a look at the 10 questions below and see if one or two of them resonate with you.1. Am I really happy right now?We have a tendency to put our happiness on hold by telling ourselves, “When I get married I will be happy,” or, “When I graduate, I will be happy,” when we could permit ourselves to be happy now and enjoy each day, says Dr. Srikumar Rao, author of Happiness At Work and head of The Rao Institute. As a second part to this question, he suggests asking yourself: What is keeping me from being happy at this instant?2. If I had all the money in the world, how would I spend my time?Having to pay for rent and groceries (and those pesky bills) can cloud what’s truly calling to you. Take away financial concerns, and you can think more clearly about what is truly meaningful and important in your life. Yes, you still may need to keep your job, but your answer might lead you to start a side business, take up a new hobby or shift how you spend your time.3. What do I want my legacy to be? When we get caught up in the minutiae of day-to-day life, it’s easy to forget the big picture. How do you want to be remembered? What impact do you want to have with your life? It might sound grim, but picturing what you want people to say during your eulogy can really wake you up to how want to live today.4. How is my story holding me back?We are defined by the stories we tell ourselves. Are you letting yourself be defined by a negative narrative? We can choose to focus on the stories that empower us, and see ourselves and our strengths—rather than our past or even our genetics—as the determining factors in our future success.5. When should I say “no”?If you don’t say “no” when you want to, it can leave you no time to say “yes” to all those things you really want to do. If you say “yes” when that’s not how you really feel, you set yourself up for frustration and resentment. Saying "no" can actually be a kind act—for yourself and your well-being.6. What is a recurring problem in my life and how can I solve it?Sometimes we can get stuck—whether in the midst of a bad relationship, financial woes, weight gain or another personal challenge. Your recurring problem can derail you from striving toward your full potential because it keeps you distracted. Go after your recurring problem with focus and a solution-mindset to solve it once and for all. New opportunities arise when we get unstuck.7. What did I love to do as a child?When we are kids, we are truly ourselves. When we become adults with lots of responsibility, we tend to forget what we truly love. Think back to your happiest moments as a kid. What did you love the most? How can you do those things as an adult? Getting in touch with your childhood joys can change your career path or enhance how you spend your recreational time.8. How can I turn regret into motivation? If you are lucky enough to get lots of opportunity in life, then you also have lots of opportunity to regret things. "Turn any regrets into motivation," says Darlene Mininni, author of The Emotional Toolkit. “The key is remembering you did the best you could with the information you had at the time. It’s easy to judge yourself after the fact,” she says. “Let experience become your teacher and take your big, fat insight and make it a catalyst for change.”Read more by Darlene Mininni9. What are my top five strengths? Make a list of your top five strengths—those things you are good at and enjoy. When you align your life to use more of your strengths, you minimize anxiety and depression, and you can improve your mood and relationships with others, says Michelle McQuaid, author of Your Strengths Blueprint.Read more by Michelle McQuaid10. How can I look at life through a lens of gratitude? You can choose to view everything with a positive, gratitude-based lens and that will boost your mood. Facing adversity? Look for the bright side or ask yourself what you can learn. Trying to kick a bad mood? Jot down all that you feel grateful for in this moment. Nudge yourself to return to gratitude by asking if this (bad mood, irritation, challenge) will matter a year from now.Read more about gratitude.Sandra Bienkowski is a regular contributor to Live Happy and the founder and CEO of TheMediaConcierge.net.

Practice

33 Ideas for Lifelong Learning

To live the virtuous life we must embrace wisdom and the courage to seek it. Curiosity, creativity and a life of learning will help you keep an active and sound mind. Here are a few ideas to keep you wise beyond your years.“I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.”— Eartha KittRead Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning by Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III, Mark A. McDaniel.Watch School of Rock.Listen to “Learning to Fly” by Tom Petty.Learn to be happy!“Learning never exhausts the mind.” —Leonardo da VinciRead Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink.Attend a reading by one of your favorite authors.Watch The Intern.Read Let's Be Less Stupid: An Attempt to Maintain My Mental Faculties by Patricia Marx.Learn to overcome your fears.“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” ―Oprah WinfreyRead Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.Watch Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey.Listen to “ABC” by The Jackson 5.Learn to speak another language.“Never laugh at live dragons.” ―J.R.R. TolkienRead A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas by Warren Berger.Watch Precious.Learn to paint happy trees.“Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” —Bill GatesRead The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield.Watch The Karate Kid.Download a new podcast.“You teach best what you most need to learn.” —Richard BachRead The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.Start or join a book club.“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” ―Dr. SeussWatch The Breakfast Club.Read The Power of Mindful Learning by Ellen J. Langer.Take a cooking class.“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ―AristotleRead Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse.Read More: Discover Your Higher Calling

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