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You Are What You Tweet

Margaret “Peggy” Kern doesn’t need to meet you to know how happy you are, or to get an idea of how good your physical health is. She doesn’t have to look at a photo of you or consult a crystal ball; she just needs to spend some time with your social media posts. “Words reveal so much about us,” says Peggy, senior lecturer at the Centre for Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne’s Graduate School of Education in Australia. She earned her master’s and doctorate’s degrees in social/personality psychology at the University of California, Riverside, before pursuing additional postdoctoral work at the University of Pennsylvania. “We consistently see the effects of using certain types of language. If people use a lot of hostile language, they tend to have poor relationships, and they have bad habits such as smoking.” Peggy is one of the researchers on the World Well-Being Project at the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center, which measures psychological and physical well-being based on the analysis of language used in social media. Research results showed that people who used agreeable words were less likely to be depressed, while those who talked about pain were more likely to experience depression. In one study, for example, social media users whose posts were dominated by hostile and apathetic words, such as “hate” and “bored,” and cursing showed high risk for atherosclerotic heart disease, while those who used positive words like “wonderful” and “friends” consistently showed lower risk. “The differences are really surprising,” Peggy says. “It’s amazing how quickly you can make a story about someone’s life based on the language they use.” Which Came First? What the research can’t tell us about the subjects studied through the World Well-Being Project is whether negative language was already in place before their physical and mental health were affected, or if a diminished state of health and happiness led to the use of negative language. Peggy says both scenarios are possible. “Language reveals who you are, but it also impacts who you are,” she says. “As you use language and it becomes more and more a part of you, it influences who you are and how you think.” Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D., author of Body Intelligence: Harness Your Body’s Energiesfor Your Best Life, says that words have more power than we might realize, and using them affects us as well as having an impact on the people around us. “If we are constantly using dark or negative language, it’s not just about the words—it’s that we feel negative, too,” he explains. For example, if you frequently say you are “sick and tired” of one thing or another, you’re sending a message to your brain, which will react accordingly. “Our brain understands patterns. So if you keep telling your brain these things, then that pattern becomes your brain wave activity. And then you are sick. Or you’re tired. And you have more stress and more anxiety, and it affects your higher-level thinking and problem solving. In the end, it influences your relationships.” The words we use, Joseph notes, are not only an indication of how we feel, but also a map to where we are headed. “The good news is, you can pay attention to the words you use and possibly avoid getting into problems down the road. Your words will tell you what things are draining our energy and which things are boosting them. It’s not just the words, it’s about looking at where those words are coming from and what that’s doing to us.” The Power of Words There’s also proof from the medical community that words are strong influencers of our mental state. In their book Words Can Change Your Brain, Andrew Newberg, M.D., and Mark Robert Waldman illustrate how the use of certain words can change the brain structures of both the person talking and of those listening. Positive words, their research found, strengthened areas in the brain’s frontal lobe and promoted cognitive brain function. Negative or hostile words, on the other hand, triggered the release of neurochemicals designed to protect us from stress. When those words are processed by the amygdala—our fear center—it sounds the alarm, shutting down our frontal lobe activity and triggering the fight-or-flight response. Just a single word, they write, can influence the physical and emotional stress response. “Words are energetic,” Joseph adds. “First of all, the sound itself is energetic. And then that release of energy impacts the other person.” He suggests putting more thought into what words we use to help create more positive situations and outcomes. “It’s a form of mindfulness we can all practice,” he says. Rethinking Our Talk Knowing how much words can influence the way we think and how they affect others gives us an opportunity to change. Peggy, who has lived both in the U.S. and abroad, says that even the way the evening news is presented has an effect on well-being and mindset. “In the States, every broadcast begins with the words, ‘breaking news,’ ” she says. “So immediately it sends people into crisis mode. It becomes a language that impacts our well-being. Changing the language we use can change the culture and create a positive impact.” Becoming aware of it is the first step, according to Peggy. “We certainly see from neuroscience the idea that growth can happen if you practice something over and over. We can rewire our brains in some ways, but it takes time and it’s constant,” she says. “This is about a pattern you create over a long period of time.” Paula Felpsis the Science Editor for Live Happy magazine.

Lifestyle

Laila Ali: The People’s Champ

She’s got the pedigree of a born champion, her own résumé of in-ring excellence and the natural charisma of a superstar. However, no matter how many battles she’s won in and out of the boxing ring, Laila Ali’s life has also been full of as many emotional peaks and valleys. These days, she bares her soul on her own inspirational podcast Laila Ali Lifestyle, available on iTunes and the PodcastOne network. Recently, she stepped in as the new host of Home Made Simple on Oprah Winfrey’s OWN Network, and her new cookbook, Food for Life, will be released on January 23. Live Happy: Congratulations on joining Home Made Simple as the new host. What can viewers expect from the show? LailaAli: I’m really excited because I have the opportunity to make people happy by teaching them how to make their house a home. A designer, a carpenter and I go in and we figure out what the problem is, come up with a design plan and then make it happen for them. I also get in the kitchen and cook with the families and teach them simple healthy recipes from my cookbook. Who in your life has taught you the most about happiness? What I’ve learned over the years is to not to put too much on others for my happiness and to be in control of my own life. Otherwise, people let you down.…You can’t control what other people do, what goes on around you, all you can do is control your reaction to it. It’s very mental. If you feel down, if you feel like, “Oh God, the world is such a tough place. Nothing ever goes my way,” that’s going to be your existence. You’re going to bring that all to fruition. Happiness is really a mindset…that’s what I’ve learned time and time again. When is the last time you laughed out loud? My children make me laugh a lot of the time, without even trying. I have a 6-year-old, Sydney, my daughter. I have a 9-year-old, Curtis. Some of the things they say are just out of straight innocence, you know? Just super-duper funny. I don’t take myself too seriously anyway, so I love looking for a good laugh. What is the kindest act someone has done for you? The acts that stand out would be those that people do with no expectations in return. Sometimes people do nice things for you because they want a certain response and they want something from you. But something as simple as just being in line in the coffee shop, and the cashier says, “This guy just bought your coffee,” and it’s totally unexpected. That happened to me a couple weeks ago and that’s one of the things I always appreciate. What are you passionate about? I’m passionate about encouraging others to take control of their lives through their lifestyle choices: eating healthy, exercising, having some spirituality, meditating, taking a holistic approach of finding balance in life. I think that this is especially important with all the problems we have right now with diabetes, heart disease, cancer, depression and mental illness. It’s like we’re on this hamster wheel all the time, so, I just want people to know that they can actually change that. That’s really a passion of mine. Where is your happy place? My happy place is at home, in the kitchen or family room with my family. I would choose being there any time over anywhere else. I’m most comfortable and at home in my kitchen cooking a good meal for my family. Gerry Strauss is a journalist who specializes in entertainment and pop culture.

work

Tackle Work Stress With These Practical Tips

The workplace: It’s where we spend one-third of each day and at least 90,000 hours in a lifetime. Research by Harvard Medical School, UCLA and the RAND Corporation found that the workplace in America is a “physically and emotionally taxing” place. What’s more, two-thirds of Americans say they work under tight deadlines, with 25 percent saying they lack the time to do their jobs. Yet, when employees have higher levels of well-being at work, everyone wins. Employees enjoy their lives more in and out of the workplace, and employers see an increase in productivity. Invest in Wellness A 2010 study published in the journal Health Affairs found that for every dollar a company spends on a wellness program, its return on investment is $3.27. Employees feel valued their company cares about their well-being and, in turn, employee performance more than doubles, according to a study by Right Management. Researchers also found employees who take advantage of wellness programs contribute the equivalent of an extra day of work in productivity every month. Toni Farris, a certified yoga instructor in Plano, Texas, teaches the art of mindfulness to businesses large and small. “We have a culture of suffering,” she says. “The more suffering you do, the more important you are.” We wear our overworked status as a badge of honor, which may lead, she explains, to a false sense of value and security. “It’s not helpful.” She should know. Before embarking on her mindful journey, Toni worked for the accounting firm Arthur Andersen, and the stress wreaked havoc on her health. Overworking yourself leads to stress, she notes. The decision-making process narrows and the quality of the work can be affected. “Strategy and balance, both physical and emotional, come from a relaxed place,” she says. Talk with your human resources department to bring someone like Toni into the office. If a mindfulness consultant isn’t an option, she offers a few tips to get you started: Be Nice Compassion is a kind of social superglue that holds everything together. Christopher Kukk, Ph.D., author of The Compassionate Achiever: How Helping Others Fuels Success, finds that compassion can create a friendlier and happier workplace, increase productivity and improve health. “When we think from a compassionate mindset, we release the peptide hormone oxytocin, which then activates the neurotransmitters dopamine (brain reward) and serotonin (anxiety reduction), which facilitate happiness and optimism—two characteristics that contribute to success,” he says. To change your mindset to be more compassionate at work, Christopher recommends changing your feelings about achieving success. “If you believe, for instance, that your own as well as your organizational successes were achieved by you alone, then you are—simply stated—lying to yourself,” he says. He suggests reflecting on how your success has benefited from others. This will make you more inclined to contribute to the successes of your colleagues. “When compassion flows, a business grows,” he adds. Get More Shut-Eye According to The Sainsbury’s Living Well Index conducted by Oxford Economics and the National Centre for Social Research in the U.K., 50 percent of participants polled would rather have a good night’s sleep than a pay raise. Matthew Walker, Ph.D., Director of UC Berkeley’s Sleep and Neuroimaging Lab and author of the new book Why We Sleep, says that more than $400 billion in our economy is lost due to poor sleeping habits. What’s more, sleep deficits make us more prone to lying at work and other deviant behaviors. The sleepless also lack in areas of creativity, problem solving and charisma. “Every key facet required for business success will fail when sleep becomes short within an organization,” he says. One thing we can do is drop the mindset that more sleep equates to laziness. “The global sleep-loss epidemic is fast becoming one of the greatest public health challenges of the 21st century,” he says. “I hope the many chapters on the disease, sickness and ill health that comes by way of sleep loss makes this case clear.” Aside from the obvious health benefits of sleep—it builds a strong immune system, lowers risks of stroke, heart attacks, diabetes and depression—it also improves our performance at work. Employees who sleep more, according to Matthew’s book, earn more money, too. Just an extra hour of sleep can improve your financial situation. Quick Biz Tips TAKE A STAND • According the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, reducing occupational sitting by 66 minutes per day can boost your mood and reduce upper back and neck pain. EAT LUNCH WITH COLLEAGUES • Cornell University researchers studied firehouses in large cities and witnessed that workgroup performance was enhanced when firefighters broke bread together. KEEP IT POSITIVE • In her book Conscious Communications, entrepreneur and author Mary Shores recommends stopping yourself when you start to think or talk in a negative way. She says that the words we use define who we are, and the negativity can spread throughout an office and even to the customer. Toni’s Tips for Tackling Stress BEFORE WORK: • Use an alarm clock with a soothing tone. Waking up in a panic is never good. • Try getting ready in the morning without the TV or radio. Incorporate more silence. • Add an extra 20 to 30 minutes to your routine so you are not in a rush. AT WORK: • Find a quiet space in your office for about 10 to 15 minutes, and use a mindfulness/meditation app. In a pinch, use your car. • After lunch is the best time to relax. Rest and digest is the opposite of fight or flight. You will feel better for the remainder of the day after a constructive rest. • If possible, let your co-workers know you need time to process any requests before committing. AFTER WORK: • Set boundaries with yourself and work. Don’t answer emails or calls after a certain time. • Turn off electronics one hour before bed. This will help your brain decompress. Chris Libby is the Section Editor at Live Happy magazine.

Self-Care

3 New Year’s Resolutions for Optimists

To those of you who are optimists, like us, who push yourselves to exhaustion to be better every day and are way too hard on yourselves when you don’t hit your own irrationally high standards, we have some advice for you: Stop it. This time, we are approaching end-of-year goal setting in a new way. The research in Shawn’s book The Happiness Advantage shows that we have our thinking backward when we assume that success will lead to happiness when, in truth, having a positive mindset is the greatest predictor of our sustained success. Goals are important, and you may have lots of them, but the best way to achieve them is to start with positivity. So, the key to next year is focusing on the good things in this year. Our three resolutions for optimists are based on new positive psychology research. Resolution No. 1: Be the same in the new year as you were last year. Why does a resolution have to force you to be different? Instead of striving to do something you’ve never done before, like learn Spanish or write a novel, repeat patterns that worked well for you this year. In Before Happiness, Shawn outlines research that shows only two things motivate a brain: seeing that the finish line is close and seeing progress. So, the list you should make for Jan. 1 is not a list of “never-dones,” but rather a list of “dones”—areas you have seen progress in your life that you want to build upon. Think back over the past year. What led to your best moments? Was it taking time to have a date night? Was it saving money so you could vacation in wine country? Whatever it was, resolve to do it again. In research, some say that the best predictor of future performance is past performance. We don’t fully agree with that because it ignores the potential for big change. In general, the only way big change can occur is by repeating a pattern of positive behavior that leads to success. So, instead of starting something new, do even more of what’s already been working for you. What’s the favorite part of who you were this year? Keep it going! Resolution No. 2: For one year, don’t repeat a previous resolution. If starting a yoga practice has been on your list for three years and you still haven’t done it, it’s time to take it off your list. You are better off showing your brain progress rather than continually reminding it of failure. This goes along perfectly with the character strengths research that shows you are better off capitalizing on one of your strengths rather than spending all your time on fixing the weaknesses. When you beat yourself up mentally for your weak areas, you waste mental resources that could be better used on your strengths. Resolution No. 3: Stop saying how happy you will be when you hit this goal. There are admittedly a few hours of anticipatory joy when you make your resolutions for the next year, when you think about how amazing things will be. But that is often quickly replaced by reality. It is much better to peg your happiness to positive things in the past and good things in the present. This is scary for optimists like us who love thinking about the future and talking about new plans. We found as a couple we’d spend time on our vacation dreaming about future vacations, and in doing so, our brains were not in the present. So instead, resolve to be happy today. Do not worry that this will make you content to not grow in the next year. The Happiness Advantage research is clear: Create happiness and every aspect of your life improves in the future. That’s incredible! Moreover, if your goal is to lose 10 pounds, that is an excellent goal. But you will not necessarily be happier, even if you think you will. We bet today alone you met several skinny people who are quite unhappy. Getting a promotion or hitting a sales target are good goals, but you will not necessarily be happier when you attain them. The gain in happiness from money is negligible. There is no known correlation between the number of books you read, how many languages you speak, whether or not you go skydiving and happiness. So many of the things that fill up your resolutions will not make this a happier year. Things that scientifically will make you happier? Being grateful daily for the past and present. Journaling about positive experiences. Making someone else’s year better through an act of kindness. Being resolved to be happy and kind today, focusing on your strengths and giving yourself a break are the keys to your best year ever. Listen to our podcast: The Happiness Advantage With Shawn Achor Read more: Which Kind of Goal-Setter Are You? SHAWN ACHOR is best-selling author of the The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness. Shawn’s TED Talk is one of the most popular ever, with over 5 million views, and his PBS program has been seen by millions. His latest book is called Big Potential. Learn more about Shawn at Goodthinkinc.com. MICHELLE GIELAN is an expert on the science of positive communication and how to use it to fuel success and the author of Broadcasting Happiness. Formerly a national news anchor for CBS News, Michelle holds a masters of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Learn more at Goodthinkinc.com.

Self-Care

5 Simple Tips for Easing Holiday Stress

My email notification pings. I open the message to a brightly colored elf serenading me with a work party invitation. It happens to be my face pasted on the comically oversized head. “I’m serenading myself,” I think, chuckling under my breath. This is the invite to Plasticity Labs’ holiday tradition—the “holidate”—one of my favorite events of the year. For many of us, the holidays are filled with invitations from co-workers, planned events with family and all the usual celebrations of the season. The holidays can be both stressful and joyful, bundled into one emotionally charged season. Rodrigo Araujo, Ph.D., senior data scientist at Plasticity Labs, analyzed workplace stress and seasonality. He identified fall (October to December, including the winter holidays) as the unhappiest time of the year for people in the workplace. At first, we were surprised. We thought late winter (January to March) would be the gloomiest season. Obviously, our bias as long-sufferers of the tough Canadian winters played a role in that hypothesis. However, when we reviewed our earlier research, it validated why this time of year causes stress. Our emotional volatility increases during the fall for myriad reasons, but one of the biggest impacts on our stress is an increasingly busy and ever-fluctuating schedule. This causes an out-of-control feeling that can make our brains uncomfortable. But, there is a way to combat this seasonal stress, even when social pressures threaten to derail our best intentions. Most importantly, we need to remind ourselves that there is much to love about this time of year. To keep us on track, here are a few best practices to rewire your attitude (and happiness) during the holiday season. 1. Make it a team effort. Are you stressing to get everything accomplished for the holidays? Check off your to-do list during the workday with friends. Initiate “Wrapping Wednesdays” during the month of December. Order in lunch, bring in communal paper, tools and tape, and have fun gift-wrapping together as a team. Employees can have their gifts wrapped for a fee and the proceeds donated to a local charity. This saves you time, eliminates a chore and gives something back to the community. 2. Give experiences, not stuff. If your workplace participates in gift exchanges, remember that thoughtful is always more valuable. On birthdays and special holidays, we smile bomb our co-workers. Desks are covered in sticky notes with descriptions about what makes them special. It’s the gift that keeps on giving; I love rereading my notes whenever I’m having a tough day. 3. Be authentic. Host holiday events that resonate. Most companies throw a formal holiday party. It may be exactly what your employees want, but do you know for sure? If you’re a decision-maker or influencer, come up with a few ideas, poll the group and act on the results. For our holidate, we do lunch and take the afternoon off to watch a movie (StarWars—three years running). The day is simple, intimate and authentically tied to our amazing geeky culture. 4. It’s OK to say no. We often feel obliged to say yes to every holiday invite. It’s tough to turn down a co-worker and even tougher to say no to the boss. However, stress stems from being overextended. Start by asking your peers which events are of higher priority for you to attend. Now you won’t burn out trying to be everywhere for everyone. 5. Save a vacation day. Did you know that the average employee receives two weeks of vacation and leaves five days on the table every year? According to Project: Time Off, an initiative of the U.S. Travel Association, Americans forfeited 206 million vacation days in 2016. We tend to hold on to our vacation days for a rainy day, and yet, that rainy day never comes. It may seem like it’s counterintuitive to take time off work just before the holidays, but saving one day for yourself—to do absolutely nothing—will be the best way to stay energized, fresh and engaged at work. I’ll leave you with this bonus tip to ensure that you close 2017 with a positive mindset. The next time an RSVP notification pops up from a dancing elf, remember, it could be worse. Instead of groaning, practice gratitude instead. This is the time of year to be full of thanks and grace, a time to reflect on the past and look ahead optimistically to what the new year will bring. Practice gratitude to rewire an otherwise stressful time and finish off 2017 with positive experiences and happy memories. 2018 will thank you. JENNIFER MOSS is the co-founder of Plasticity Labs and best-selling author of Unlocking Happiness at Work. She’s a happiness researcher and thought leader on the topics of emotional intelligence and organizational performance and a contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, BBC, National Post and Huffington Post. Jennifer was recognized with the International Female Entrepreneur of the Year Stevie Award, and she and her two co-founders were named Canadian Innovators of the Year.

Lifestyle

Allison Janney Savors the Simple Things

Award-winning actress Allison Janney’s jam-packed days are spent commuting to the Burbank, California, set of the CBS hit comedy Mom, memorizing lines, racing to and from wardrobe fittings and delivering fast-paced humor and sarcasm as the joyful yet slightly cynical recovering alcoholic Bonnie Plunkett. Her role in Mom—now in its fifth season—has scored her two Emmy Award wins to add to her five victories from roles in The West Wing and Masters of Sex. The past year also marked Allison’s return to Broadway in the revival of John Guare’s Six Degrees of Separation, and her name has come up as an Oscar contender, and she won the Golden Globe Award for her gritty portrayal of LaVona Golden, the tough-as-nails mother of Olympic figure skater Tonya Harding in I, Tonya. “I’m like any other working adult. There’s a lot to juggle,” the Ohio-raised actress says in a thoughtful cadence that’s slower and softer than her Mom character’s rapid-fire volleys. Away from her diverse professional projects, Allison is a loving and devoted daughter, sister, aunt and friend. She makes sure her busy days begin and end on a positive note, walking her three Australian cattle dog mixes, Addie, Dutch and Sippie. “My dogs are my positivity role models. They really are,” Allison says. “I hug them and snuggle them and that instantly makes me happy.” Time spent walking them is “a nice time for meditation and checking in with the world and myself,” she says. “Dogs love us regardless of accolades, size of a paycheck or if you’re having a good hair day. All three are rescues, and I’m so grateful I adopted them. Animals are a game changer for our spirits and souls.” Hitting the Pause Button Despite being pulled in several directions at once, Allison exudes a calm that naturally encourages those around her to stop and catch their breath. A simple shift in her daily routine—having a friend help her organize her schedule—has made the demands of everyday life “much more manageable.” She’s also started deliberately slowing down with the help of meditation. Allison admits that a Zen state of mind and body wasn’t always part of her fabric. “I’m a control freak and a worrier who overthinks things,” she says. “I’m also a people pleaser by nature so I worry if I’ve been a good enough listener to a friend or been thoughtful and open enough in an interview.” Her penchant for pleasing didn’t leave much room to shine the same considerate light on herself, but she’s been working on that the last two years. “I made a commitment to be more aware of what makes me happy and to reflect on what I want to do. I was—and still am—focused on what I can do to make someone else happy, but I gave myself the gift of taking time to also listen to myself, honor my thoughts and wishes and not put myself by the side.” She explains further, “It’s not always comfortable to accept, but I’ve learned taking care of myself, and sometimes putting myself first, isn’t selfish. It will make me happier than ever before because I’ll be in a better place mentally, emotionally and physically.” Paired with multiple weekly Pilates sessions and workouts with a trainer, meditation is a key part of Allison’s daily schedule. Just sitting and breathing in a quiet place at home helps her let go of anything she’s overthinking or worrying about. “I don’t think I’m very good at it because it’s hard to clear your mind,” she says. “I don’t know that you can ever completely do that. But I feel so much better after I’ve meditated for 15 minutes.” There are also those days when finding even 15 minutes to meditate seems impossible. “You can always explain away not taking time out for yourself,” she says. “We all have so many rituals. There are responsibilities for others, family, pets and work. Who has time just for themselves?” Technology has been a powerful tool to help her adopt a calmer mindset. “I have lots of apps I use often,” she says. Some of her favorites include Buddhify, Insight Timer, Happify, Headspace and Simply Being. “I’m trying very hard to always be in the moment and, ironically, sometimes even my smartphone can help me do just that!” But social media is a different story. Allison said the steady stream of Facebook updates started to affect her personal outlook, so she hasn’t been checking it for almost a year. “I had to stop being voyeuristic because it was making me feel bad that I don’t have what others have—or appear to have. You never really know what’s going on in someone else’s life, but seeing the newsfeed of only what others want you to see, without seeing the whole picture, can be too much. Instead, I now focus on finding my own happiness and being happy with things that happen in my real life, not on social media.” That includes criticism and unpleasant exchanges. “I try to look at everything, even adversity, as a gift. Instead of worrying and ruminating, I’ll say ‘thank you’ to the world and look at what I can learn from the experience to grow and make myself better,” she explains. She also relies on loved ones. “The people who love me and believe in me are who I go to to remind me what’s good about me and what’s important and not important,” she shares. “My mom is great at helping me keep my head up to focus on what matters.” Embracing Flawed Characters Part of Allison’s unique recipe for simplifying her life includes tackling unconventional roles. Whether performing live, singing and dancing on Broadway, voicing animated characters in Finding Dory and Minions, or in her breakout television role on the hit political drama The West Wing, Allison says some of her favorite performances are those portraying characters that “are the most screwed up or that take me the furthest from my wheelhouse and comfort zone.” “In some ways, I find when I’m playing a character that is the least like me or that’s flawed and messed up, the more interesting and fun the job is. I think it’s harder to portray normal or well-defined.” Performing on Broadway has given Allison some of her scariest moments as an actor. “Being in the original Broadway cast of [the musical] 9 to 5in 2009 with ‘real’ Broadway singers was well outside my wheelhouse and scared me to death,” she says. “I was out of my league being on stage with Megan Hilty and Stephanie Block.” That fear propelled her to an acclaimed performance that earned her a 2009 Tony Award nomination for her role as Violet Newstead. Returning to Broadway in 2017 wasn’t easy, either. However, Allison once again rose to the occasion. “On Broadway, you perform at night and that’s when I’d come alive,” she says. “I realized right after the day’s performance ended was when I could stop and relax. I’d savor those moments.” Her most recent feature film, I, Tonya (released December 2017), also stretched Allison’s artistic muscle. Interestingly, Allison was a competitive figure skater into her teens until she nearly lost her leg crashing through a plate-glass window. Her life-threatening injuries ended her skating career. “I dreamed of being an Olympian, but in reality, my career would have ended anyway because I didn’t have the talent to achieve that level of greatness,” she says. However, when her longtime friend, screenwriter Steven Rogers, wrote the part of LaVona Golden, mother of disgraced Olympian Tonya Harding, with Allison in mind, her years spent on the ice helped her prepare for the role. “When I met Allison more than 30 years ago when we were both students, I saw that unbelievable and powerful emotion she brings to her performances,” Steven says. “But beyond her amazing talent, she’s a truly beautiful person who brings such generosity and a giving spirit to her friendships. You can’t help but love being around her.” “When [Steven] called and gave me a description of this mother in a half-molting fur coat with a bird on her shoulder, I couldn’t wait,” Allison explains. “Neither Steven nor I were able to speak with or see LaVona, so this is a character creation of Tonya’s version of her mother and our artistic license. “I approached the role much like I do the rest of my life these days, even though I worked with a live bird perched on my shoulder who from time to time was poking at my ear,” she says with a smile. “It’s outside of my personal norm and comfort, which helped make the role enormous fun. And at the end of the day, I’m so lucky to have a job that’s fun and allows me to grow as a person and actor. Now there’s something to think about!” Gina Roberts-Greyis an award-winning journalist who has written forFamily Circle,SelfandEssenceamong other publications. Her last feature story for Live Happy wasa profile of Anna Faris.

Flourishing Center

Practitioner’s Corner: Monica Smith

Live Happy is excited to present a series of interviews from our partners,The Flourishing Center,that highlight practitioners who are making an extraordinary impact in the world by putting positive psychology into practice. As we present you with inspiring human stories, we also want to empower you to put these strategies into action in your own life. Today’s spotlight interview is with Monica Smith, an experienced project manager and change-management specialist with more than 12 years of experience working in the public sector. After graduating from The Flourishing Center’s Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) Program, Monica recently foundedThe Clear Mind Projectto bring positive psychology and resilience to the addiction-recovery community and bridge the gap between crisis and true thriving. TFC: What inspired you to bring positive psychology to the recovery community? Monica: I have recovery experience myself, and for many years I found all the traditional recovery approaches to be helpful. But when I was exposed to positive psychology, it transformed my life. I uncovered research about growth mindset and post-traumatic growth, and felt truly inspired. And yet, I realized that few people in the recovery community—including therapists and other providers—were aware of these concepts. Despite the amazing gifts of traditional recovery, I often saw people hovering in a neutral space after successfully getting sober. They weren’t engaging in self-destructive behaviors, but they also weren’t flourishing. They didn’t believe in their potential or see what was possible, and they often still had a negative self-view. I feel strongly that we could change this. TFC: Tell us more about how you were originally exposed to positive psychology. Monica: My undergraduate degree is in psychology, and I have a master’s in forensic psychology. So through my education, I knew who Martin Seligman was, and I got some exposure to positive psychology. I took a break for several years, but what brought me back was my own spiritual journey and self-development process. I’m a big Audible user—I usually have eight books going at any given time—and in listening to books about personal growth, I kept getting recommendations for books by some of the big names in positive psychology. Plus, while consulting for the government, I heard about Martin Seligman’s Penn Resilience Program. While this was peripheral exposure, it started coming together with what I was digging into personally. TFC: You founded The Clear Mind Project over the last year. Tell us about it. Monica: The Clear Mind Project is all about bringing the science of well-being and resilience to the recovery community. We offer coaching and workshops, and recently finished our first cohort of A Twist on the 12 Steps™. In this 12-week program, we take one of the traditional 12 steps each week and teach a complementary interpretation rooted in positive psychology. The idea is to say: All of the things you’ve been exposed to in traditional recovery are great, but they’re only half the story. For instance, the first step is about admitting you are “powerless” and that your life has become “unmanageable” because of addiction. In this week’s workshop, I teach participants about what they can control—that they can choose their mindset, rewire their brain, etc. TFC: How have people been responding to this integrated approach to the 12 steps? Monica: Everyone who went through the program reported an increase in their well-being. I did a survey with all participants before and after, asking about their subjective well-being in areas aligned to the 12 dimensions I was teaching. I was particularly struck that on average, this group reported a 50 percent increase in agreement with the following statement: “I feel a sense of peace about my past and find meaning in negative experiences.” TFC: That’s fantastic, Monica! What’s your vision for the future if more people had access to these resources? Monica: I envision the program being balanced between addressing illness and supporting wellness. I want people in recovery to say, “Not only am I in recovery, but I am also feeling really fulfilled.” I would like providers in the field to have these positive psychology skills for themselves —let alone for their clients’ benefit. I see that creating upward spirals. Plus, I’d want strong support structures in place for partners and family members of those navigating addiction. Overall, I want people to feel their sobriety is safe. Positive psychology has taught me about the illness/wellness continuum. If you imagine a scale of human flourishing from negative 10 to plus 10, traditional psychological paradigms try to get people to zero, or neutral. Many people recover from addiction and hover around there, where they are vulnerable to triggers. If we can move people north of neutral, although they will still experience triggers, they’re more likely to be OK because they’ll have more cushion. Everyone deserves a cushion! To learn more about The Clear Mind Project, visit www.theclearmindproject.com. If you are in recovery or otherwise affected by addiction and live in the Washington, D.C. area, look for the next offering of Monica’s signature program, A Twist on the 12 Steps™, in early 2018. Read more: Practitioner's Corner: Louisa Jewelland Practitioner's Corner: Cheryl Rice

Reading

‘The Empowered Mama’ Puts Women’s Wellness First

Author Lisa Druxman is the dynamic founder of FIT4MOM, a national fitness company that operates a range of classes to help women get back in shape after having a baby. After spending years interacting with busy moms, and raising her own kids while also running a growing business, Lisa has gathered her wisdom and experience in her new book, The Empowered Mama: How to Reclaim Your Time and Yourself While Raising a Happy, Healthy Family. We spoke with Lisa to learn more about how women can fit wellness and self-care into our hectic lives without giving up on fulfilling work, in or out of the home. Live Happy: Lisa, what made you want to write this book? Lisa Druxman: Everything we do at FIT4MOM is about helping women realize their strengths in motherhood. I get a chance to meet moms across the country, and they all say they are overwhelmed. I have learned a lot since founding the company (and growing it while raising my own family), and I wanted to shorten the learning curve for other women. The Empowered Mama is the culmination of the wisdom and experience I’ve acquired over all this time. Why is it important for moms in particular to engage in self-care? Moms are used to caring for their family—putting others first. But you can’t pour from an empty cup. As moms we set the tone, and we set the energy for the whole family, so it is crucial that we take time to take care of ourselves. What do you think are some of the biggest challenges for moms today? We are trying to be supermoms. We are living in the age of Pinterest when we think we have to have our houses look a certain way, and party decorations have to be a certain way... Seventy percent of moms are working full- or part-time, so with that, taking care of the kids, the house—they wish there were more hours of the day, but they would just fill it up with more errands. Instead, we need to be more purposeful about how we use time. We need to set priorities, say no to some things and let go of perfection. You are in the fitness business, yet you included many aspects of life in the book in addition to exercise and nutrition. How did you decide to do that? My master’s degree is in psychology, so I am fascinated by the mind and the power of the mind. I’ve been in the fitness industry for 25 years, and I’ve learned that you can’t become happy and healthy just by being fit. We have to change our mindset. To me that means thinking about things like purpose, values and goals, so I have included what I’ve learned over the years in this book, in a fun, interactive way. What is the most important thing you think moms can do to improve their well-being? You need to put your self-care in first. The thing moms want, but are never able to achieve, is balance. So if we know that, what happens if we take care of ourselves first? Ask yourself, what is the minimum effective dose for me to feel healthy and happy? For me, I need a certain amount of exercise. I know I need to eat certain kinds of foods… What is self-care for you? Whatever it is, you need to get those things in first and build your schedule around that. Do you think it is possible for moms to find work/life balance? If you schedule your self-care first, you will automatically feel more balanced. Instead of focusing on balance, focus on counterbalance. Sometimes you need to really focus on work. So maybe when that period is over, you can counterbalance with more family time. Other times your family is taking all your time; then you need to talk with your family and explain you will be working longer. How can dads and kids help mothers to have more time for self-care? Partners need to sit down and share what they want out of life. Moms should explain, ‘Here are my reasons why—here is what I need.’ Don’t assume your partner is a mind-reader. Tell him or her what you want: ‘It would be really helpful if you could pick up the clothes from the dry-cleaners or the kids from school.’ Make a workout schedule with your partner, so you are not competing for free time to go to the gym. Do you think there is a cult of busy-ness among women, and how can we get out of it? Being busy has become almost like a badge of honor for moms. I used to be the same way—this whole book is based on mistakes that I’ve made! It’s like we don’t ever want to come across as lazy, so we wind up as martyrs instead. We need to redefine what a happy and healthy life looks like. I want moms to schedule margins—spaces and air in-between activities—a feeling of peace and roominess so we no longer feel so rushed. Why is it important to meditate? I have been consistently meditating now for nearly 20 years. I have ADHD—my mind is always going. Meditation quiets those thoughts and decreases stress. It will increase your immune system and your brain size. It helps depression, too. I wish and hope that moms could do at least 10 minutes before the rest of the family wakes up to set the tone for the rest of the day. Set your intention for the day. You quote extensively from The Slight Edge, which was written by Jeff Olson, founder of Live Happy. I didn’t know that! But the book is so important to me—his philosophy of incremental change leading to big transformation really resonates. I’ve never done anything like this before, but I actually paid my kids $100 to read it! What do you hope readers will take away from the book? The book is written to be used as a yearlong interactive process, with a different focus each month. I believe moms—who are raising the next generation of leaders—are creating a positive ripple effect, and I want to help empower them to be change-agents in the community and in the world. 8 Empowering Takeaways for Moms Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Exercise and good nutrition are necessities, not luxuries. Take little breaks: Have a bath, enjoy a nap, unplug from digital devices. Write down your core values, and make sure your behaviors are aligned with them. Learn to delegate and say “No.” Figure out in which areas of life you might be lacking or over-committing. Create a Personal Action Plan to achieve specific goals. Use The Slight Edge philosophy to make incremental positive changes in your life. Emily Wise Miller is the Web Editor for Live Happy.

Practice

Create Family Rituals for Greater Happiness and Connection

Rituals that include elements like togetherness, positive emotions, laughter or resilience provide opportunities to build well-being for both parents and children. Free-Wheeling Fun When Australian Kath Ballard thinks about family rituals, bike riding immediately comes to mind. When her first child was 12 months old, Kath and her family transported bikes and camping gear to the Netherlands and spent three weeks exploring the Dutch coastline. When a second child came along, the family cycled down from Germany, through Slovakia and into Hungary. Years later, with a growing family of three children, the plans and equipment became even more intricate. The eldest, at 5 years old, cycled on her own, the 4-year-old pedaled on a tag-along bike, and the littlest rode in a child trailer. Together they cycled through Switzerland, Germany and Austria. “Part of how we define ourselves as a family and a big part of the memories we have as a family are created on these trips,” Kath says. “We talk about the memories for a long time after. Some of my happiest family memories are from these trips.” Kath says that bike trips have provided a resilience mindset for her family. “Most days are just a journey of joy, cycling from one playground to the next, and then on to ice cream rewards at the end of each day,” she says. “Some days were harder when the path was uphill or the distance between stops was longer. This is when working together as a family pulled us through, overcoming challenges and rewarding persistence. The satisfaction when we met these harder goals was always great.” Singing Brings Joy in Singapore Simple family rituals can foster well-being, especially when done regularly. Sha-En Yeo, a mom of two happy-go-lucky girls in Singapore, seizes opportunities for family connection whenever she finds them. Recently Sha-En’s oldest daughter, Sherrie, shared a song she had learned called “I Love the Mountains.” The song is fun and interactive with a place for singers to insert names of things they love in the chorus. “It’s such a catchy song,” says Sha-En. “We have taken to singing this song as a way to bring positivity into the home and to remember what we love.” Sha-En says in doing so, her family gets to know and appreciate what’s important to one another. Little Zoey, the youngest daughter, might sing about loving her pillow or her doggy, while older sister Sherrie sings of more sophisticated things, like loving her iPad or her best friend. Even Sha-En and her husband sing along, adding their own loves to the mix. Sha-En reports that it is not diffcult to sing along, which they do until they are all out of loves. “Generally, we are in a much better mood after singing,” she says. Serving Others—Together Tiffany Davis-Baer is a busy mom with three active boys and a daughter on the way. But that didn’t keep her from creating a ritual for teaching her sons about sacrifice and living a life of service. When Tiffany and her husband, Lt. Cmdr. Rick Baer, were stationed overseas, they noticed that great care was taken in the upkeep of cemeteries that honor the ultimate sacrifice of service members in the World Wars, including those from the United States. This level of care left such an impression on them that they vowed to teach their children the beauty of a life of service. Tiffany created a powerful family ritual of visiting her father’s grave at a national cemetery each holiday to honor the sacrifices he made. “We want our children to understand the significance of sacrifice and of service, as well,” Tiffany says. Not only are Tiffany and Rick teaching service, but they are also strengthening the foundation of well-being in their children. Psychologists Marshall Duke, Ph.D., and Robyn Fivush, Ph.D., teamed up on research that demonstrated the positive impact that knowledge of family history has on the self-esteem and well-being of children. Their “Do You Know...?” scale to assess a child’s knowledge of family narrative turns out to be an excellent predictor of children’s emotional health and well-being. Through the vehicle of family ritual, Tiffany and Rick have discovered a beautiful way to connect themselves and their children to something larger than themselves, one key element of well-being. “My oldest sings ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ beautifully and my middle recites the Pledge of Allegiance each time we pass a flag,” Tiffany says. “I believe they get it!They understand the sacrifice our ancestors made.” Beyond that, Tiffany also sees the values that her father instilled in her through the actions of her sons. “Each day I see my dad in them, the confidence, the strength to push themselves and each other. The ability to see the good in people,” she says. “I know my dad’s with us...he smiles at me through my sons.” Jan Stanley has worked with Fortune 500 companies, the U.S. Army and Harvard Business School to develop leaders. She is a writer, coach and speaker who helps others find meaning and joy in work and in life.

Flourishing Center

Understanding Other People’s Behavior

Take a glimpse into the world of positive psychology withThe Flourishing CenterPodcast. Each episode is divided into three sections giving you insights into living an authentic happy and flourishing life. What you'll learn in this podcast: Science Says—Explore the impact of technology on social well-being. LifeHack—Learn the simple strategy for brain matching. Practitioner’s Corner—Katrina Goff shares how transitioning from a dental clinic to a resilience coach and trainer changed her life. Learn more aboutThe Flourishing Center Read the interview from the Practitioner's Corner: Transcription provided by The Flourishing Center Emiliya: Hello everyone and welcome Katrina Goff to our positive psychology Practitioner Corner. Katrina is a Certified Resilience Trainer through The Flourishing Center. She helps people talk back to their thoughts, work with their emotions, and show up in the world the way they want to. She's joining us today from Ozark, Missouri. Something you might not know about Katrina is that she is a grandmother to 20 children. That's two-zero, 20 children. Her and her husband are blessed that between them they have eight children and 20 grandchildren. She is not only thriving in family but thriving in opportunities to share positive psychology with the world. We're so excited to have her here. Thank you Katrina. Katrina: Thank you Emiliya. It's a pleasure to be here today. Emiliya: Katrina, tell us what brought you to this work? Katrina: Oh my goodness. I was on a journey. I went back to school and I was working in a dental clinic. That's where most of my experience work wise has been. I was working with the military but also very passionate to me is helping people to have healthy, happy relationships. I thought that I was on a path to become a marriage and family therapist, but somewhere along the way all the work with the military and hearing my patients come in and share with me that they had PTSD. They would share their stories but I just always noticed their countenance dropped every time that they told me, "Ma'am, I might hit the floor if I hear a loud noise." When they just mentioned that they had PTSD, these very macho and brave men would look defeated. My first class with anything to do with positive psychology was a social psychology class. That was where I first learned about post traumatic growth. I was hooked. I had something that I could share with people that could give them hope rather than a diagnosis that didn't give them hope. I'll never forget the next patient that came in and shared with me that he had PTSD. I listened to his story as I always did and I sat there and then when the opportunity arose, I just asked the patient, "Have you ever heard of post traumatic growth?" He had not and he wanted to know more. I shared with him that it was growth that occurs after you've had a traumatic event and that you either experience a greater purpose and meaning in life, a connection to others, a greater appreciation for your own life, better relationships and connection to a cause. I'll never forget the look on that patient's face when he said, "Ma'am, I got that. I think I have that," and was able to share and pick out a story of how he had been in an improvised explosive device detonation, an IED. Through that, when he came back, he was a drill sergeant so he was able to share with his new recruits how to avoid IEDs because he had experienced it firsthand himself. His whole face lit up. You just saw the positive change that happened. That was my first piece of positive psychology that I learned and I couldn't get enough from there. Emiliya: Wow. What an incredibly touching story, Katrina. Thank you. What are some of the ways in which you're implementing positive psychology today? Katrina: I have been blessed to be able to implement it in many different ways. For the last four years, I've taught at a career college so I knew that these skills and positive psychology were the missing piece of the curriculum, that we could teach people skills and we could teach them knowledge in their field. Positive psychology helps people be able to handle life. We can teach skills that help you show up in the world the way that you want to. I use character strengths with my students so they were able to be prepared for an interview knowing where they were strong. They didn't go into an interview and say, "I'm bubbly." They actually knew where their strengths lied and how they had used them to help them through challenges. That was very empowering. I participated in several years of “character day” at the school and that was really always very rewarding for me as well. I taught a lot of resilience skills as well to my students. I found that growth mindset and fixed mindset showed up so much in my students and how I could help them to see that and to ask questions that were going to leave them somewhere rather than questions that just cause them to judge themselves. Emiliya: For our listeners that are tuning in that might not be familiar with growth mindset and fixed mindset, can you tell us how to share this concept with others? Katrina: I definitely can. Growth mindset and fixed mindset comes from Carol Dweck. I have to admit that I had the book for a while without ever reading it. I knew it was a book I wanted to get to but once I dove into that book and I could see how much that all of us have these tendencies to not just be one way or the other, but both of them show up in our lives in certain ways. Growth mindset will lead people to embrace challenges and to see that we can learn from failure. Fixed mindset tends to show up where you see people who are afraid to make any mistake whatsoever. They don't want to do a procedure. They don't want to learn a new task because they're afraid that they won't be good enough, and why make a mistake? I saw that so often with my students so I was able to teach them that we learn through making mistakes. That was the perfect place to be learning and making mistakes was when we had plastic patients rather than real patients because those times you don't want to make a mistake. I was able to help them to see that and to hopefully recognize it in other areas of their lives so that they could persevere outside the classroom with those skills as well. Emiliya: Thank you for sharing that Katrina. I'm curious, what are some of the more poignant ways in which positive psychology has personally impacted you? Katrina: I think one of the key things again is the character strengths and how, when I was able to recognize my own character strengths and how they showed up my life, then I could really feel free to incorporate those. Even though I was already incorporating them, they're how we show up in the world, but it really gave me a better understanding of myself. Plus, it helps me to look at others and be able to see their strengths and how teams are formed and how we can—where I'm weak and I can use where someone else is strong to accomplish a goal better. Growth mindset and fixed mindset shows up in my world as well. There are still challenges for me. I'm probably in that big group of people that feel that sales is one of those things that I'm just not good at, yet I know through all of this education and this field that we can learn and develop if we put enough time, practice, and get the right resources, that we can be good at anything that we choose to do in life and that there's nothing that's outside of our reach. It may take me a little bit longer, that may not be an area that I'm super strong in, but I can develop those skills. Emiliya: Thank you Katrina. What are some of the most exciting things you're up to right now? Katrina: I have just accepted a position at a community dental clinic as a coordinator of six dental clinics. With this work, I will be able to use positive psychology in my training and hiring and evaluations and putting teams together. I'm really, really excited to find a position that allows me to use my skills and my work as well as my love and passion and knowledge in positive psychology. It's just a great fit. I have a lot of freedom to incorporate this as I see will benefit the teams and the clinics. I'm really excited about that. Emiliya: Thank you Katrina. In positive psychology, we frequently talk a lot about the importance of self-care. We say that self-care is healthcare. What are some of the self-care principles that guide you in your day to day life? Katrina: I'm so glad you brought that up because that is something that I really do incorporate into my life. Sometimes we get so busy that we actually forget even though we know this is so important to who we are. It's so important to take that time to replenish ourselves. One of the things that I do that my husband thinks is pretty funny is I refuse to choose where we eat. It’s something that depletes me to make that decision, so I don't really like that; I save my decisions for more important things in life, so I tell him I don't have to choose where we eat. I'll just pick what I want when we get there. I love being out in nature. I do love the beauty of the sunrise and the sunset and the stars and the ocean. Recently, my husband and I just got back from Florida. We were able to take some down time to just really invest in ourselves personally and in our relationship because both of us are in this helping field of coaching and speaking and training. We do tend to put so many other people before ourselves so we do have to recognize that self-care, whether that's a bubble bath, whether that's just quiet time, your favorite music, exercise, whatever that works for you. For me, I enjoy quiet time and I do enjoy just the beauty of nature around me. Emiliya: Thank you for sharing that. One of the questions we've been asking our interviewees is: What is your definition of what it means to flourish? Katrina: That's a great question, Emiliya. I definitely love “to show up the world the way that you want to.” I think that we all have that ability when we are equipped with the skillset and mindset of resilience. It really does help us to push through life and to thrive. I feel like when we're using our gifts, our skills, and our passions and we're incorporating that as our purpose in life, how we show up in this world, that's when I feel like I'm thriving. That's where I feel like I am right now in my life because that I have been equipped with the knowledge from The Flourishing Center and through other sources as well and that I know what my gifts are, I know what my strengths are, and I know what I'm passionate about, and I know that I get to show up in the world and I get to use my purpose. I take my purpose with me everywhere that I am. I think so many people are so scared of the word purpose and they are thinking it's elusive in that they can't reach it when our purpose is what we're living daily. We can take that with us. Recently, I was struggling with a few things. We hear when your why is big enough, you don't have to worry about your how. I thought about that and it's so true but when your why is big enough, you don't have to worry about your how or your where. All you have to worry about is that you do because you take that calling and that purpose with you. When you do that, you are thriving. Emiliya: Wow. Such an inspiration with those words, Katrina. Yes, the words “showing up the world the way that you want to,” which refers it to me by Dr. Srikumar Rao, are ones that I both repeat often. It's a question I ask myself often, "Am I showing up in the world the way that I want to? How do I want to show up in the world around this situation?" It's a powerful question to ask. Katrina, what have you found have been some of the biggest obstacles you faced in trying to introduce positive psychology? Some would say, "Wow, in a dental office, how does that work?" I would imagine that not every single person is not as bright eyed and bushy tailed, or some people might think you've drank some Kool-Aid. I think one of the biggest challenges is just helping people to understand that positive psychology isn't “happyology.” It isn't about happy all the time. There is definitely times in our lives and situations where it's not appropriate to be happy but working with our emotions, not getting stuck in our emotions, is one of the things that I really want people to know. That is how I want to help them in this world, is learning when and how. It's learning character strengths, when you can overuse one or underuse one. There's just so much that we can use in positive psychology to touch every person. I believe it belongs in every company, every organization. I think just that it's still so new to a lot of people—they just aren't understanding what we have to offer in the world. I think reframing it in ways that really help people to realize the benefit is one of the ways that we can push past some of these challenges. Emiliya: Katrina, how can people learn more about you and follow up with you if they have any questions about your work? Katrina: Probably the best way is on my Facebook, PS3 Coaching. That's usually where you'll see my workshops that I have going on. You'll also see a link to the character strengths survey so that everyone can have access to that information. If they want more information on what to do from that, then they can reach me. I give a free consultation and help people to see if incorporating coaching can help them to reach those goals in their life that they would like to. I give a lot of workshops at the Bounce Back Better® system. Thank you, Emiliya, for creating that and sharing that with us so that we can share it in the world, one of the most incredible experiences that I ever had to go through the program as well as the CAPP Program. Both of those are so intense in my life and they have really equipped me with everything I need to help people to know more about this work. I teach pieces of positive psychology that I incorporate in with MLMs. I recently did a Growing Your Mindset, Growing Your Business. I just incorporated some pieces of the growth mindset from Carol Dweck and some other elements that I feel like are very important for people to grow their business and just understand those key elements of how our self-doubt shows up and what we can do with that. Emiliya: I know earlier we mentioned that you have such a robust family. I'm curious, how do you bring positive psychology to eight children and 20 grandchildren? Katrina: They get it whether they want it or not probably. It's who I am. It's how I show up in the world. I love that I have this knowledge base to share with my children and our grandchildren, teaching them how to look for what's strong in others, even growth mindset. I sat down with one of my granddaughters who has very high expectations for herself. She was reading and every time she came to a word that she didn't understand, if I had to help her with the word or if I chose to help her when she wasn't getting the word, then she would stop and she would go back to the page and start all over again. I thought, "Well, how can I incorporate growth mindset into this situation with my granddaughter to help her to understand?" I said, "Can I read the next poem in your book?" She said, "Yes, Nana, you can." I started to read and I got to a word and I pretended that I didn't understand the word or didn't know how to pronounce the word and I tried to pronounce it. Then, I said, "Can you help me with this? This is kind of a tough one." I said, "You know? It's okay that we don't know every word. It's all right that we're just learning. The next time we'll probably get it right after we learn it." We got through that and I did that exercise with her a few times. The next time when she went to read again, every time she came to a word that she would try and did not know how to pronounce, she would look at me, I would help her and then she would say it and she would continue on. She didn't have the need to go back to the beginning of the story again because she didn't want to be wrong. I thought, "Wow, I teach this but this is real time." We can see how beneficial this is in real time to teach our children and our grandchildren that it's our right to make a mistake. We don't have to be perfect and we learn from our mistakes. Emiliya: I love that. Thank you for sharing such a specific and impactful way to bring growth mindset into the life of a child. Again, just want to highlight how it's the micro moments, those tiny little moments that add up to the bigger changes that we can make over time. Katrina, thank you so much for being here with us. It's been an honor to learn more about you and how you're implementing this work in the world. Thank you so much for sharing everything that you have with us. Katrina: Thank you Emiliya. I really appreciated the opportunity. As I said before, I can't thank you enough for creating the CAPP Program, the Certification in Applied Positive Psychology, and I followed that program for a while before I was able to step out and take it. It was one of the most impactful things in my entire life. Then with the Bounce Back Better® Program as well. Everyone needs this information. Every company, every organization, every school needs it. I'm just so proud to be able to pin it into my piece of the world and help people to have the skills to face adversity and just keep going. Emiliya: Thank you so much Katrina. It's an honor to be able to just create the container and share these tools. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Have a question about the science of happiness and wellbeing? Or, have an issue that you'd love a life hack around? Send us a message to info@theflourishingcenter.com and we'd love to offer you some positive psychology based skills to address your questions. Thanks for listening and we look forward to connecting with you soon.

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