Journal surrounded by school supplies

Kindness Sticks

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! On the 20th of each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we'll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! August’s theme—just in time for the back-to-school season—is education. For students of all levels, learning character strengths and mental and physical well-being alongside the academic basics ensures both greater achievement and long-term happiness. And for adults, scientists confirm that lifelong learning is associated with greater life satisfaction and a sense of optimism and engagement. Our August 20 Happy Act is to post encouraging and positive notes at school; try our school-themed sticky notes to get things started! Meet our Happy Activist of the month, Kathleen Desloges, a music, drama and dance teacher in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. “I get to work with hundreds of students in a week, and every day we start our classes with a conversation about gratitude, happiness or kindness,” she says. “It’s fun to show up with a purpose!” 3 Steps on How to Prepare for a Happy Act: Researchwhat charitable opportunities are near you. Contactthe organization and discuss how you can help. Plana time to go volunteer and/or determine what you can donate. Learn more: Lifelong Education Delivers Confidence, Joy and Hope. If we’re not learning, we’re not growing. According to the VIA Institute on Character, adults who are learning something new—by taking a class, pursuing a hobby or reading every day—report less stress and greater feelings of hope and purpose. Never Stop Learning. Try these three strategies from Ryan Niemiec, Psy.D., of the Via Institute on Character, to boost your learning mindset and start to see challenges as opportunities. Character and Well-Being. British schoolmaster Sir Anthony Seldon says positive education “isn’t a case of either teaching for tests or teaching for personal growth and happiness; if you teach for happiness and growth and character, you’ll get better exam results because you’ll be developing their intrinsic motivations rather than extrinsic motivations.” 4 Ideas Shaping the Future of Education. Learning to develop grit and character; considering the role of parents; emphasizing what’s going well and focusing on problem-solving over negative characterizations are driving conversations about positive education. The Strength Switch With Lea Waters. Listen to our Live Happy Now podcast with Lea Waters, Ph.D., to learn about the benefits of strength-based parenting and two easy ways to start implementing it. Learning How to Learn Barbara Oakley, Ph.D., the Ramón y Cajal Distinguished Scholar of Global Digital Learning at McMaster University, professor of engineering at Oakland University and author of several books, including A Mind for Numbers and Mindshift, teaches an online course called “Learning How to Learn.” Ready to grow? Start with these guidelines: Think of learning as a lifestyle. Create your own process for acquiring knowledge and skills and ask questions. Work with your brain, not against it. When learning new things, give your brain time so new neural connections can be made. Rethink failure. Encountering difficulty and failure encourages brain plasticity. Be prepared to feel like an impostor, then get over it. Mastery is not a static end state, but a high level of ability to find ways to refine one’s knowledge and skills. Challenge yourself to ask, “What are you learning that keeps you inspired and hungry for more?” Additional Resources: International Positive Education Network Donors Choose Plasticity’s Hero Generation The Strength Switch Via Institute on Character Champlain College Tecmilenio University
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Solitude and silence

The Power of Silence

In an increasingly loud and stressful world, more people are discovering the benefits and power of silence. Quiet pauses throughout the day can connect us, ease our minds and put us in touch with ourselves. Experts agree that we need to choose to make silence a part of our lives. Maybe it’s by taking a moment to remember a loved one, waking up before the sun rises or replacing a noisy time of day with a calming break. “Silence can benefit us if we use it wisely,” says Julie Potiker, a mindfulness expert and author of the new book, Life Falls Apart, But You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm in the Midst of Chaos. “If we allow the quiet to slow us down and open us up to what is there in our environment—a dog barking, a bird chirping—it means focusing attention on what you are hearing, which can stop your mind from ruminating and worrying.” Give Your Brain a Break Too much stimulation and noise coming at us without a break can be overwhelming. Make a conscious choice to put your phone down and decide how you will use the silence, Julie says. “It’s hard to make the time to enjoy quiet. We need to carve out quiet time for our mental health. Use the quiet to allow your mind to slow down,” Julie says. “If you are using the quiet time to worry and ruminate—which is what the primate brain is wired to do when we are not engaged in a task—that’s not helpful and it will make things worse.” Choose something positive to direct your attention and stop any negative loop, she suggests. Julie recommends trying a technology blackout for an hour or two on a specific day of the weekend. “See how it feels and if you love it—and I bet you will—you can extend the time until you eventually have a day without technology.” For parents with small kids, Julie suggests taking some quiet time when the kids are asleep. She also recommends guided meditation. While it’s not silence, a guided meditation is especially helpful for those who struggle with negative monkey mind. “Pop in the earbuds and follow the voice for a beautiful break for your brain.” Sukey and Elizabeth Novogratz, authors of the book Just Sit: A Meditation Guide for People Who Know They Should But Don’t, encourage people to take time each day for reflection. Silence isn’t just about the absence of noise, it’s about getting yourself to slow down. “We know the world would be a kinder place if we all slowed down and sat each day, and everyone on this planet could benefit from meditation,” Elizabeth says. Meditation doesn’t have to be a complicated practice, and their book gives straightforward tips to make it easy for everyone. Five Benefits of Silence It helps us live consciously. According to psychologists and philosophers alike, silence can wake us up and provide meaningful answers in our lives. Silence can give us a gentle nudge to let us know if something doesn’t feel right by putting us in touch with our body and our emotions. The psychological benefits of experiencing silence—even when it makes us uncomfortable—can mean more purposeful living. Silence can increase self-awareness, self-compassion and improve decision-making skills with improved mental clarity. Use it to become more mindful and self-compassionate. “Mindfulness is the first step in emotional healing,” Julie says. “It’s being able to turn toward and acknowledge our difficult thoughts and feelings—such as inadequacy, sadness, anger or confusion—with a spirit of openness and curiosity. Self-compassion involves responding to these difficult thoughts and feelings with kindness, sympathy and understanding so that we soothe and comfort ourselves when we’re hurting. Research has shown that self-compassion greatly enhances emotional well-being. It boosts happiness, reduces anxiety and depression, and can even help maintain healthy lifestyle habits such as diet and exercise. Being both mindful and compassionate leads to greater ease and well-being in our daily lives.” It can enhance conversations. By choosing silence, you will naturally listen more and others have the opportunity to share more—enhancing your relationships.   It’s a tool for increased emotional regulation. Silence can be the space between a feeling and a response. Take a silent pause and choose your response calmly and wisely. It gets better with practice. If silence is something you rarely get or even fear it a little—lean toward activities that help you practice. Try a yoga class. Listen to nature radio. Drive with the radio off. Sit on your deck or porch in the morning and take in the quiet and stillness. When you go to bed, use the silence to get calm or listen to it raining outside. Let silence help you wander through happy memories or list what you are grateful for in your life right now. Buy some noise-canceling headphones. Ask your family to support you with a 15-minute break for silence. Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said, “Silence is a source of great strength.” Taking the time for silence sends yourself the message that you are worth hearing. Honor your life by practicing silence regularly.
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Top happiness podcasts

10 Podcasts to Help You Find Happiness

Audio is one of the oldest forms of media around, and yet podcasts are so hot that seemingly everyone is starting his or her own. They cover every topic imaginable, and it turns out we love to listen and learn. Podcasts can help us keep up with the news, lose ourselves in an imaginative story or just make our commute go by a lot faster. Below are 10 podcasts in the fields of positive psychology, mindfulness, happiness and self-help that will not only brighten your day, they will also add to your knowledge of how to become an authentically happier person. The Science of Happiness This excellent recent addition to the podcast happiness space comes from the Greater Good Science Center, which is affiliated with the University of California at Berkeley (Go Bears!). Heavy on the science of happiness and positive psychology, the show features interviews with professors and authors such as Rick Hanson, Srikumar Rao and Jonathan Haidt. Professional production adds to the compelling storytelling. Each episode runs about 20 minutes. 10% Happier with Dan Harris Network news anchor Dan Harris has become an unlikely but extremely effective evangelist for meditation and its benefits. With two best-selling books under his belt, Dan now produces this weekly podcast on the subject, which includes in-depth interviews with mindfulness heavy hitters such as (sometime collaborator) Sharon Salzberg and former Google “Jolly Good Fellow” Chade-Meng Tan. Dan has made it his mission to spread meditation to the mainstream, and he is absolutely succeeding! Each episode runs 50 to 60 minutes. Live Happy Now Live Happy’s own uplifting podcast features insightful interviews with experts in psychology and the science of happiness. Past guests have included psychiatrist and mood-food expert Dr. Drew Ramsey; author M.J. Ryan, one of the creators of the Random Acts of Kindness series; work/happiness expert Shawn Achor; and many others. The tone is friendly and accessible—a perfect way to start your day, lighten your commute and stay informed. Each episode runs about 30 minutes. The Flourishing Center Podcast The Flourishing Center, which offers a Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology, highlights positive psychology research in its podcast. It covers everything from tips on overcoming rumination to practicing self-forgiveness. Each episode features three sections: Science Says, which summarizes recent research; Life Hack, which explains how to incorporate positive psychology tenets into your life; and Practitioner’s Corner, which highlights an individual practicing positive psychology. Each episode runs 30 minutes. Happier with Gretchen Rubin Best-selling author of The Happiness Project and several other books, Gretchen Rubin was an early convert to the podcasting medium. She and her screenwriter sister Elizabeth seem to have a lot of fun chatting and ribbing each other as they discuss various topics of interest, such as how to maintain healthy habits, The Four Tendencies (another one of Gretchen’s books), making time to read, family relationships and other issues that affect our everyday lives. The tone is breezy and casual, and occasionally the sisters will bring in a special guest. Each episode runs about 30 minutes. Happiness Matters Christine Carter, author of The Sweet Spot and Raising Happiness, hosts this parenting-focused podcast along with pediatric nurse Rona Renner. The show, a gabfest-style discussion between the hosts, focuses on how to raise a happy family and have harmonious relationships in the 21st century. Hot topics include “The Art of Saying No,” “Is Yelling the New Spanking?” and “Fostering Creativity in Kids.” Weekly episodes are short and sweet, running just 10 minutes. By the Book In each episode of By the Book, podcast personality Kristen Meinzer and comedian Jolenta Greenberg—two smart, funny Brooklynistas with attitude—choose a different self-help book to live by for two weeks and then report back with their findings. The show is warm, insightful and a great way to get the lowdown on these best-selling (but sometimes repetitive) books so you don’t have to read them all yourself. It’s like getting self-help Cliffs Notes, summarized by your hilarious best friends. Each episode runs approximately 45 minutes and many are followed up with a separate epilogue. The Action for Happiness Podcast Action for Happiness is an international initiative launched by the Dalai Lama. The podcast features interviews with luminaries mainly in the realm of mindfulness and meditation, such as Jon Kabat-Zinn, Daniel Goleman and many others. Listen to substantive discussions of meditation in schools, how meditation can change the world and similar subjects. The sound quality could be better. Each episode runs about 40 minutes. Good Life Project The Good Life Project includes an “intentional community” that puts on mindful get-togethers in real life. In addition, they host this twice-weekly interview show with thought leaders in the happiness, creativity and personal development spaces. Catch up with authors and personalities like Elizabeth Gilbert, Tim Ferriss, Brené Brown and many others. Good production and a lively pace keep things moving along. Each episode runs about 45 minutes. Adventures in Happiness New York Times best-selling author Jessica Ortner is an ebullient guide to happiness and fulfillment through “tapping.” But in addition to the mindfulness practice of tapping, she also covers a wide swath of lifestyle subjects from spring cleaning and feng shui to more serious topics such as depression and anxiety. Guests stop by to chat and lend their expertise. Each episode runs about 45 minutes.
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Family having fun outside

Family Focus in June

Welcome, Happy Activists! A Happy Activist is someone who, through kind words and intentional actions, strives to make the world a better place. Live Happy invites you to join our #HappyActs movement! On the 20th of each month, we encourage everyone to incorporate kindness into your daily lives by participating in each month’s planned activity. The more who join the #HappyActs movement, the more positive impact we'll all have on our homes, workplaces and communities. What you think and do matters! June’s theme is family. Positive relationships, especially with those we’re closest to, are one of the five key elements of Martin Seligman, Ph.D.’s, PERMA theory of well-being. Our June 20 Happy Act is to help families thrive. This month, we are featuring the Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation, a mentoring program for at-risk youth and single women, and volunteering at The Stewpot, an organization that supports families experiencing homelessness. 3 Steps on How to Prepare for a Happy Act: Research what charitable opportunities are near you. Contact the organization and discuss how you can help. Plan a time to go volunteer and/or determine what you can donate. Learn more: Develop family strengths. Common ways to do that are through nurturing relationships, establishing routines, adapting to challenges and connecting to communities. Tell family stories. Family narratives can help kids forge their own identities in the world and weave together generations. Summer is here; enjoy! 33 ideas of what to read, do, watch and listen to for summer togetherness. Play games! From Parcheesi to Ping-Pong, tiddlywinks to tag, games teach sportsmanship, communication and other social skills. Create a happiness board. Dream about your next vacation, focus on goals, plan volunteer outings as a family with a Family Happiness Board. Five Tips to Increase Family Bliss: Unplug. Unless you’re expecting an urgent message, stash your phone and tablet and focus on your family when you’re together. Divide and conquer. If siblings aren’t getting along, give the relationship some space and spend an afternoon on separate activities to help give everyone a break from a bickering patch. Maintain family routines. For special traditions like family meals, game nights or bedtime reading routines, keep everyone together and at ease by providing a predictable framework and making everyone feel welcome. Focus on what’s going right. Family togetherness can translate into too much of a focus on messy rooms, uncleared dishes or curfews violated. Don’t forget to point out the daily wins and acts of kindness that you’d like to see more of. Greet with a hug and part with a kiss. Huggingproduces happy neurochemicals such as endorphins, oxytocin and serotonin. Take the time to give your family a warm hello and goodbye even if you are in a hurry. Additional Resources: Steve and Marjorie Harvey Foundation The Stewpot March of Dimes Boys and Girls Clubs of America Big Brothers Big Sisters
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Rediscover Your Authentic Self

6 Ways to Rediscover Your Authentic Self

Quick two-question quiz. 1. What things did you love to do before marriage, kids or increasing work responsibilities, including side hustles to help pay the bills? 2. How many of those things do you still do now? For many of us, spending time doing the things we love the most gets sidelined for the big “r” word—responsibilities. Sure, we’d love to take in a matinee on a Saturday, but kids’ soccer games and a trip to the grocery store take priority. Readers we asked miss spontaneity, creative projects, cranking up the music, reading and the indulgence of sleeping in. While not always doing what you want to do is just part of adulting, drifting away from what you love can erode happiness and cause you to lose sight of who you really are. How do you maintain the daily grind of responsibilities and stay connected to what you love? Rediscover your authentic self with our list of tips. Facilitate your own wake-up call Sherianna Boyle, author of the new book Emotional Detox: 7 Steps to Release Toxicity and Energize Joy believes focusing on the present can facilitate your own wake-up call and increase awareness. “No doubt getting married, raising children and becoming a homeowner gives us a lot of extra things to think about. When we worry, stress and overthink, the less energy we have. Choose to focus on the now and your energy will grow,” she says. Let yourself feel your emotions and use them as guideposts. Don’t let busy become an obstacle Obligations can interfere with what’s calling to us. Jen Sincero, best-selling author of You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, says, “When you constantly deny yourself the people, food, things and experiences that make you feel the most alive, that sends a pretty lousy message home.” Decide you are worth doing the things you love. She suggests making a conscious decision to increase your joy in whatever capacity you can. Plan the trip you’ve always wanted to take. Pursue a goal you fear. Spend an afternoon with a friend, dance at an outdoor music festival or buy an impractical pair of shoes. Don’t let busy win. Sure, you might not be able read in a hammock for four hours straight, but can you read every day for 30 minutes? Put yourself first Are you one of those people who never focuses on yourself? Start putting yourself first and trust that doing so will make you even more fulfilled and better able to give back to others. Investing in yourself is not selfish. “We drift away from doing what we once loved because it doesn’t fit our new lifestyle anymore or our partner doesn’t like the activity,” says Pat Pearson, a family therapist and author of Stop Self-Sabotage: Get Out of Your Own Way to Earn More Money, Improve Your Relationships, and Find the Success You Deserve. “You don’t sing at the top of your lungs because the baby is napping. Life and love is a cost-benefit analysis. If the cost is too high and the benefit too low, we give up even enjoyable activities.” She suggests asking yourself this critical question: What do I want? “If it’s important to your well-being, you shouldn’t give it up. Find the place where you can have your joy and your spouse can have his/hers. Never give up on what you love if it feeds your soul. Negotiate on the time and space to make it happen.” Do not delay As writer Anne Dillard wrote, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” While it might be comforting to promise ourselves “later” for those activities we love, the reality is we have to get them on our schedules in order for them to happen. Big life events—the death of a parent, a milestone birthday, an illness—can stir us awake and fuel our desire to pursue our passions, but without daily habits in place we often fall back into old routines. Seize the day. Tag team The obstacles to writing the next great novel or reveling in the joy of dancing alone in your house can be a matter of practicality. To give yourself more time, set up time swaps with your significant other. One of you has the kids, the other gets half a day to work on a personal goal. Switch places the next day or weekend. Do a date night swap Another practical fix is teaming up with friends to create windows of adult time. Gone are the days when babysitters are inexpensive. Instead of doing away with date nights or spontaneity due to the costs, swap date nights with another couple. This is an easy solution that will make your kids and wallet happy. Now you can date your spouse again. If you want to continue your education, get a massage, paint like you used to, start a side business or kayak in a new body of water, the most important first step is directing your attention to what you desire. Create a life with a rich blend of responsibilities and top interests.
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Great strides

Walking School Bus a Lesson in Happiness

“I always have a good day on Wednesdays,” says 12-year-old Albert Carter. The reason? That’s when he participates in his school’s walking school bus. Each week, a group of spirited senior citizens—including 66-year-old Jo Ann Washington and 80-year-old Bertha Barnes—along with other volunteers, chaperone about a dozen children on the 1-mile morning trek from East Berry Branch Library to Christene C. Moss Elementary School in Fort Worth, Texas. “It’s important to walk because when you wake up in the morning, you feel all tired,” Albert says. “Walking loosens you up and wakes you up so then you can have energy to go to school and get passing grades.” Eight-year-old Ja’liyah Williams puts it bluntly: “Driving to school is boring,” she says. “My favorite thing about the walking school bus is that everyone comes and we play together. We’re always singing.” Volunteers don fluorescent yellow vests and teach the children safety rules along the way, adding to their brood as they go since some children are picked up in front of their homes. “It gives me great joy working with them,” Jo Ann says. “I’m glad to be a part and just feel like a kid.” Principal Charla Wright-Staten says she’s noticed a change in her students who walk to school. “They’re able to get some of their restlessness out and come in ready to work and learn,” she says. “They don’t know they’re establishing healthy lifestyles—we kind of sneak that in.” Change of Pace In 1969, almost 50 percent of children in kindergarten through eighth grade walked or biked to school. By 2009, that number dropped to less than 13 percent. That’s why community leaders in Fort Worth and around the world are implementing walking school buses, which teach children lifetime fitness habits and reduce traffic at the same time. The idea is simple: A group of children walk to school with two or more adults. Some schools partner with community groups, like how Christene C. Moss Elementary joined forces with Silver Sneakers, a fitness program for seniors offered by a local YMCA chapter. That’s how Bertha found out about the program. “I like walking, and I like kids,” Bertha says. “All of my own kids are up and gone.” In Fort Worth, 30 elementary schools have launched walking school buses as part of the Blue Zones Project, a well-being improvement initiative aimed at helping people lead longer lives by making healthy choices easier. Across the country, 42 communities in nine states have joined the Blue Zones Project, and walking school buses are common in those locations. Take it from Ja’liyah: “Come walk and get used to it. Then when you grow up, you already know what to do.” Happy Feet While the physical benefits are clear, Charla notes another significant impact the walking school bus has on her students. “They see it’s beyond just their parents, teachers and principal that care about them,” Charla says. “They’re seeing that there really is a village around them.” Take Albert, who appreciates it when the adults listen to what he has to say. “I feel better when I’m walking because we talk about stuff, and I just think about that sometimes and that kind of boosts my day.” But it’s not just the students who are benefiting: While Ja’liyah and Albert both say they’re learning to pay attention, listen and get better grades, Jo Ann points out that she’s learning from the kids as well. “It was cold one morning, and I knew those babies weren’t going to come out and walk,” she says. “That particular day, there were even more of them. You talk about devoted.” For Bertha, interacting with the children is leaving a lasting impression. “They’re teaching me how to be jolly and not worry about anything,” she says. While Bertha hopes she’s relaying the importance of morning exercise, there’s another lesson that’s not lost on the students. “It’s amazing that you can be 80 and look 52,” Albert says after learning Bertha’s age. His wish when he’s 80? “I hope I'm like Bertha.”
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stress free

48 Ways to Naturally Reduce Stress

A certain amount of stress is just part of the human experience. It’s natural. Yet too many people suffer with severe stress that disrupts sleep, work performance, health, relationships and life satisfaction. High stress often calls up its pal anxiety, and together they can stir up panic attacks that can interfere with a purposeful life. When we live at such a rapid pace, we may not even realize we are in a tense and stressed state. We reached out to Live Happy readers and staff for their best tips to reduce stress, quiet the mind and brighten your outlook. Dial back on detrimental stress with our 48 natural fixes to find your calm. Use the tips that resonate with you most! 1.       Practice Yoga. Slow down and connect. There’s a form of yoga for every preference. 2.      Enjoy a cup of hot tea. Sample different types until you find one that soothes you. Peppermint, chamomile and green tea will all do the trick. 3.      Meditate. Clear thoughts from your mind with deep breathing. Let the apps Headspace or Breethe become your mindfulness coach. 4.      Walk in nature. Fresh air, birds chirping, trees reaching to the sky and sunshine beaming down all have a calming effect on your mind. 5.      Try alternate nostril breathing. It’s called “Nadi shodhana” and it activates the parasympathetic nervous system to reduce blood pressure. 6.       Exercise. It’s just science. Regular workouts combat stress and give you a dose of feel-good endorphins. Plus, it helps you get a better night’s sleep making you more equipped to positively handle stress. 7.      Use essential oils. Just smelling a bit of lavender can help you shift to a calmer state. 8.     Have music you love readily available. Whether you use Pandora, Spotify, iTunes or something else, make sure you have music you love at your fingertips. Belt out your favorite song, blast your favorite band or go Zen with your tunes. Music is a powerful outlet and coping strategy all in one. (Loud rap music was a popular suggestion to de-stress.) 9.      Dance. Dancing can help release pent-up emotions. It’s a healthy way to escape stressors, and you also get the endorphins that come from exercise if you sweat it out. 10.  Stretch. It feels good, it’s good for you and it slows you down. 11.   Take a bath. Bubbles and dim lighting can create a relaxing atmosphere. Wine optional. 12.  Schedule acupuncture. A quiet dimly lit room and those tiny needles placed in your skin is an ancient Chinese practice thought to foster natural healing and boost immunity. 13.  Savor a glass of wine. Feet propped up of course. 14.  Pray. 15.  Listen to mantras. Repetitive sounds and positive sentences can reach the unconscious mind. Chant, listen to mantras or repeat them to yourself. 16.  Hike for the exercise benefits and the calming landscape. 17.   Get a full body massage. 18.  Try your hand at art. Paint. Color in an adult coloring book. Shape clay. Hands-on expression is a healthy outlet for stress. 19.  Clean. Vigorous cleaning can give you a sense of accomplishment and order. 20. Walk dogs. Two in one—walking and the calming effects of spending time with a pooch you love. Bonus. 21.  Count. The repetitive mundane task of counting can distract your mind when it goes to a worrisome place. 22. Sit on the patio. When is the last time you sat just to relax and do nothing? 23. Run. They call it runner’s high for a reason. There’s something magical about being able to lace up your shoes anywhere, open a door and go. 24. Punch a punching bag. Release stress through physical exertion. 25. Organize. Let’s face it. Stress is often caused by situations that feel out of our control. Organizing puts us back in the control seat and brings on the calm. 26. Talk therapy. A professional can help you process and rethink your beliefs. Gain new insights that empower you to defeat stress. 27.  Talk to friends. Social connectedness is directly related to our mental and physical health. 28. Sleep. Sleep is part of the big three—with the other two being nutritious food and exercise. Go for eight hours, even if you’ve tried to convince yourself you only need six. 29. Hug. Give them freely. Accept them regularly. 30. Reduce caffeine, alcohol or sugar. Consciously decide when you will have any of the three to regulate consumption. Overindulging can amp up stress. 31.  Cuddle with your significant other. Physical intimacy reminds us that we aren’t in this alone. 32. Garden. Flowers, vegetables or spices—make your choice to occupy your hands in the earth to feel grounded. 33. Replay fond memories like little movies in your mind. 34. List gratitude. Ask yourself what’s good right now. Train your brain to notice everything that’s going right in your life. 35. Journal. Get what’s churning in your head on paper. It’s just cathartic and often the process leads to solutions. 36. Smile. 37.  Do one nice thing for someone. It’s human nature to help and it feels good for the receiver and the giver. 38. Go fishing. 39. Try a mental shift. Realize you and your significant other are on the same side. Next time you get agitated about something your “other” has said or done, remind yourself that you’re on the same team. Choose not to react and watch the difference it makes. 40. Pet an animal. The repetitive motion and the loving care will relax you. 41.   Go near water—a pond, a lake or an ocean. Listening to or watching water has a soothing effect. 42. Savor a cup of coffee. 43. Listen to a Live Happy Now Podcast. 44. Watch a comedy show. Laughter is the best medicine. 45. Let it go. If you can’t control it or change it, consider letting it go. 46. Try labor rage. Curse like mad at those weeds while you are gardening. 47.  Laugh at yourself. Can’t find your keys (again!) or you trip on a curb? Smile and laugh at yourself. We’ve all been there. 48. Burn natural candles to inspire a peaceful environment in your home.
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Naples

Naples Residents Are Happiest, Healthiest

The Naples, Florida, metropolitan area has led the nation in well-being for the past three years, despite declining satisfaction numbers across the U.S., according to the most recent data from the Gallup-Sharecare Well-Being Index. Other top communities on the list include Barnstable Town, Massachusetts; Boulder, Colorado; and Santa Cruz-Watsonville, California. The data, included in the State of American Well-Being: 2017 Community Well-Being Rankings, also shows that the Naples metro area’s three-peat is no fluke, boasting low rates of stress and anxiety with little to worry about. Mayor Bill Barnett, who has been involved in local government since 1984, says their secret is their way of life. “I think it is the overall lifestyle, and it’s not a contest for us,” he says of his city’s recent honor. “I was thrilled and surprised. It isn’t something that you think about, or I at least as mayor think about on a daily basis, ‘How are we going to come out in the Gallup poll?’ When you look at everything, it is the overall lifestyle and the mix of people we get in the city of Naples.” According to Gallup-Sharecare’s categorized criteria, the Naples-Immokalee-Marco Island area ranks No. 1 in purpose, social and financial well-being, and No. 2 in community and physical well-being. All of this means people really like living there. “The majority of our residents wake up in the morning and they want to make sure their newspaper is out front, the electricity is on and whatever their plans are for the day, the weather cooperates,” Bill says. With the exception of hurricane season, residents enjoy reasonably good weather throughout the year as well as convenient access to the city’s many parks and beaches. Every year the community hosts a fundraising wine festival with the proceeds benefiting local children. Naples, among other communities in Southwest Florida, is part of a well-being improvement initiative called the Blue Zones Project. Since joining Blue Zones, Bill says, the residents and 400-plus city employees have embraced the healthier way of life. “Our goal is to make it as bike- and pedestrian-friendly as we possibly can,” the mayor says of their commitment to active lifestyles. “Everything is about connectivity. We had sidewalks that went to nowhere from the early days and now we are filling in those sidewalks. We are doing everything we possibly can to make [Naples] a healthy city.”
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Healthy Mind, Happy Mind

How to Tackle Stress for Good

If you’re feeling a bit more anxious—or depressed—these days, you aren’talone. Anxiety has become the most common mental disorder in the U.S., affecting roughly 40 million Americans over the age of 18. Depression affects an additional 20 million adults, and new research from the American Psychological Association (APA) shows that the nation’s mental health isdeclining. The APA’s annual Stress in America survey has tracked a gradual increase in stress and anxiety levels since it began gathering data in 2007. But for 2017, it found that while the national stress level is consistent with the previous year’s findings, many people are feeling the effects of that stress more than ever before. Nearly two-thirds of those answering the survey said they wereextremely stressed about the future of our nation in addition to other major stressors like money and work. And that is showing up with side effects such as lost sleep, irritability, anxiety, depression andfatigue. “The uncertainty and unpredictability tied to the futureof our nation is affecting the health and well-being of many Americans in a way that feels unique to this period in recent history,” says Arthur C. Evans Jr., Ph.D., and CEO of the APA. Yet the findings also reveal that we are learning better ways to handle the pressure. From the rising interest in mindfulness and meditation to a growing emphasis on how to find balance using nutrition and physical activity, there are plenty of ways to become better equipped to handle the side effects of stress. Learning how to eat more natural foods or just spending more time in nature doesn’t just feel good in the moment; it has lasting, measurable effects on both physical and mental well-being. Learning to Cope More than half of the people in the APA survey said they deal with stress through exercise or physical activity, and 12 percent use yoga or meditation as an outlet. Nearly half use music to de-stress, and 29 percent rely upon prayer. That’s important, experts note, because learning how to practice positive mental health in an increasingly negative environment can make a tremendous difference in our levels of anxiety and depression. “Negative events attract so much attention, and right now [the evening news] seems very disturbing,” says Tayyab Rashid, Ph.D., associate faculty at the University of Toronto Scarborough and a licensed clinical psychologist. “But at the same time, we have to remember that there are far more people doing acts of kindness that we’re not seeing. Every day, mothers are fixing meals for their children. Mechanics are fixing cars. People are opening doors and doing good things for one another every day. We aren’t seeing the wholepicture.” As humans, our innate negativity bias causes us to react more strongly to negative events and information than to positive. Since our survival as humans once depended on quickly locating the threats around us, that negativity bias isn’t all bad. However, in today’s world, it can create some mental health challenges when it comes to handling the onslaught of negativity doled out by social media and the nightly news, not to mention our day-to-day personal ups anddowns. “No mind is neutral,” Tayyab says. “But the good news for the human race is that the positives are more universal. Positive things have more leverage to bring us together than the negative things have to tear usapart.” Focusing on the Positive That’s where positive psychology enters the picture. Science shows a strong connection between positive psychology and good mental health; it has proven useful in the prevention and treatment of certain mental disorders and, at the very least, can help us navigate a bad day with a better sense of calm and resilience. While mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are better managed with a combination of care that includes therapy and medication, Tayyab says we have become too quick to medicate less serious psychological conditions rather than change the behaviors inflaming them. “By and large, we have become too dependent on drugs,” he says. “Life is about exploring the best that’s within you. Medications can give you the strength to walk and sit, but if you want to become truly agile—that comes from realgrowth.” Creating positive mental health is key to achieving personal well-being, and Tayyab says that requires committing to realchanges. “You cannot be happy on a long-term basis unless you make long-term changes,” he says. “Medications can make you feel less angry or anxious or paranoid, but they cannot provide you with hope and courage and resilience. There are no pills for gratitude.” Learning Happiness The connection between mental well-being and practices such as gratitude, mindfulness and hope go beyond just feeling good; positive practices change the way your brain works. Every thought you have releases chemicals to your brain, and those chemicals have either a positive or negative effect on both your physical and mental state. Learning optimism, gratitude and other practices for developing positive emotions won’t change the world around you, but it can change how you respond to it. When researchers at the University of Pennsylvania conducted a study on learned optimism, which uses positive affirmations to overcome negativity biases, the results were impressive. Of the two groups participating, 32 percent of those in the group that did not practice optimism were suffering from moderate or severe depression at the end of the 18-month study. By comparison, only 22 percent of those who were taught optimism developed depressive symptoms, and the results were similar for anxiety: The group that practiced optimism showed a 7percent rate of anxiety, while the other group had more than double thatrate ofanxiety. The Benefits of Well-Being Implementing practices to improve well-being, whether it’s meditation, mindfulness, gratitude or something else, can improve symptoms of anxiety and depression. But studies also show it isn’t just about feeling better; it’sabout doing better. People who train their brains to think more positively are not just happier, but have stronger immune systems, are more productive, live longer and, let’s face it, are just more fun to be around. Even better, once your brain is trained to think positively, it triggers what Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., identified as an upward spiral toward positive emotions. In other words, as you experience positive emotions, you release a cascade of additional positiveemotions. “Relaxing is better than stress, and hope is better than fear,” Tayyab says. “We all have grudges, but somewhere along the line we can open ourselves up to these sanctuaries of gratitude. And those are the things that bring you to the true essence of life.” Feeding Happiness There is, of course, more than one path to finding greater well-being and it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. However, experts agree that certain habits and practices complement the pursuit of positive emotion and may be instrumental in boosting the lasting effects ofour emotions. For starters, says psychiatrist and author Drew Ramsey,we can look at what we eat. “We don’t tend to associate mental health with food,” he says. “Food has a big impact on brain health because we eat every day, and diet is our largest modifiable risk for everything from depression to dementia.” As the founder of the Brain Food Clinic in New York City, Drew prioritizes food before medication; he also offers an online program, Eat to Beat Depression, that helps people learn about brain nutrition and how the foods they eat affect their mental state. He says that many of the mental health challenges we face today can be managed with dietary changes. “Certain nutrients help the brain stay resilient and be in ‘grow mode.’ Studies constantly show significant risk reduction for depression and dementia; anxiety is the most common diagnosable mental disorder, but there is very little research regardingnutrition.” Erin Tawlks of Nashville, Tennessee, has seen firsthand the role that food can play in battling depression. She began struggling with the winter blues while still in high school, but when her son was born five years ago, she fell into a full-blown depression. “I struggled to get out of bed, and I didn’t want to do anything. I just wantedto take a nap in the afternoons. The depression had really taken over.” Since she’s “never been big on taking medications,” Erin looked for other solutions to combat depression. She began using essential oils recommended for depression and found good results; that started her down a new path. “I could tell a difference in my mood, so I thought, ‘Well, that worked; what else will work?’ I just kept looking for more ways to make myself feelbetter.” Erin, who now coaches others on how to create and maintain a healthy lifestyle, says nutrition, along with exercise and a daily gratitude practice, has become the foundation of her good mentalhealth. “Switching to organic produce made a huge difference, and when I got rid of sugar and gluten, I noticed a big change. It’s not easy, but it can be done. Sugar has been linked to so many health issues,” she says. “If you start realizing that every time you put something in your mouth, you’re either fighting disease or feeding it, you’ll start looking at it differently.” Drew says that treating mental health issues with food carries much less stigma for patients than medication—without the risks or side effects. It also has the added benefit of reducing risk for physical illnesses like heart disease, diabetes and dementia. Eating for brain health is not complicated, he says, adding, “I wish people understood the risk we all face of clinical depression and other mental health issues.” Natural Solutions While changing your thought patterns and diet take more effort than taking a pill, there’s an even simpler path to helping ward off mental illness: nature. According to a medical science known as forest medicine, nature can help ease physical disease as well as mental problems including anxiety, depression and burnout. “Patients with anxiety and depression respond very well to the calming stimuli of nature,” says Clemens G. Arvay, a biologist and author of the books The Biophilia Effect and The Healing Code of Nature. “Anxiety, especially, is connected to the overactive sympathetic nervous system, which is the nerve of the fight or flight response. Many people who suffer from anxiety find release innature.” What’s perhaps more telling are the statistics surrounding the absence of nature; Clemens says that the likelihood of suffering from depression is 20 percent higher among people who live in a city, while the risk for anxiety is almost 40 percent higher. One British study shows that regular walks in a forest were effective for fighting major depression, with the combination of being around a lake and trees showed the most significant improvements. “We are natural beings,” he says. “It’s no wonder that the absences of nature in our lives makes us ill, while contact to nature has a strong health potential. I strongly suggest we rethink our relationship withnature.” Whether it’s a single practice or a combination of lifestyle changes, the best way to discover positive mental health is through a conscious, committed choice. “Today, one out of six people in the U.S. are on some form of antidepressant, and the side effects that can have are staggering,” Erin says. “True health is about mental clarity and cellular health—and that’s something you have to invest in. You have to choose it foryourself.”
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Retro dancers get down

Do a Happy Dance

Elizabeth Spencer can’t remember a time when she didn’t love to dance. She was so drawn to it that while she was still a child, her parents enrolled her in classes—ballet, jazz, tap; you name it. “I loved my dancing classes,” says Elizabeth, who lives in Washington, D.C. “It’s one of the earliest things you do as a child. Even before they stand up, babies move to the music. It’s almost an innate thing.”    The propensity for pirouetting that begins with your first hesitant steps can—and should—last a lifetime, believes Elizabeth, who never misses a chance to hit a dance floor, whether it’s at a wedding, a concert or a fundraising event.  “What happens is that we get older and we get self-conscious, so we stop dancing. But it is so much fun. There are some songs where you just need to stop what you’re doing and dance.” You Make Me Feel Like Dancing For Elizabeth, cutting a rug is a way to lower stress, celebrate life’s small victories and get a healthy dose of happiness running through her body. “When a song comes on, I want to expend the energy of the joy the music gives us,” she says. “It is definitely one of life’s free, simple pleasures.”    As it turns out, what Elizabeth is experiencing is more than a simple pleasure, it’s a physical and psychological lift. Dancing, researchers have discovered, delivers an immediate mood boost and helps increase feelings of relaxation. What’s more, those effects continue even after you’ve left the dance floor. In fact, a study conducted by the University of New England in Australia found that dancing the tango was as effective in staving off depression as mindfulness meditation and was actually more effective than meditation in relieving anxiety.   So why does it make us feel so good? For starters, it gets us moving. Unless you’re busting a move in your car (or your office chair—we’re not judging), dancing requires you to get up and move your feet. That gets your heart and lungs working, which is a great antidote to today’s desk- and couch-bound lifestyles. And there’s evidence that all movement is not created equal; researchers have found that indulging in a few minutes of boogie fever does more for you than, say, taking a vigorous walk around the block. Shake Your Groove Thing In multiple studies from different countries, researchers have compared the effects of different types of dancing to physical activities ranging from running to bicycling to treadmill training and walking. While any sort of physical activity has a positive effect on your mental state and releases brain-pleasing endorphins, dancing amplifies that effect. That could be in part because of the way our brains are hard-wired to respond positively to music, which results in such positive outcomes as lower blood pressure and strengthened immune systems. While the music is setting the stage for a happier brain, the movement helps release those feel-good hormones to pack a healthy one-two punch. Not Just in Your Head If you’re excited to think that all that gyration leads to joy, the news just keeps getting better. That movement is doing more than just making you happy in the moment—it’s also helping you build a better brain.  Psychologist Peter Lovatt, founder of the Dance Psychology Lab at University of Hertfordshire, has studied how dance changes the brain’s neural processing. His experiments have shown progress in using dance to improve thinking skills among patients with Parkinson’s disease, while a study published in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease cited dancing as one of the activities that can cut the risk of Alzheimer’s in half.   And, the bottom line is, whether you’re doing it for your mental health or your physical well-being, dancing is something that is fun and doesn’t require an expert skill level to deliver the benefits. Create your own happy dance or follow along in a class; either way, you’ll reap the benefits. Paula Felps is the Science Editor for Live Happy.
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